1
00:00:03,013 --> 00:00:05,397
Which brings us to 2005...
2
00:00:05,410 --> 00:00:07,858
The Circle Park
renovation was complete,
3
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:10,575
and a young man
named Thomas Haverford
4
00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:12,875
was still two years away
from getting hired.
5
00:00:12,894 --> 00:00:15,762
Perhaps we could skip ahead
and just hit the highlights?
6
00:00:15,771 --> 00:00:18,138
I mean, I planned
a comprehensive retrospective,
7
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,465
but I guess I can just focus
on the really important moments.
8
00:00:20,485 --> 00:00:23,718
Ah! The debate about getting
a pod-based coffee machine.
9
00:00:23,730 --> 00:00:26,648
Garry and I wrote a little
musical number about that,
10
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:29,095
and it goes a little
something like thi--
11
00:00:29,115 --> 00:00:31,609
Can't we just quickly shake hands,
pretend we like each other,
12
00:00:31,622 --> 00:00:33,309
- and get out of here?
- I'm all for that.
13
00:00:33,319 --> 00:00:35,413
No, April, Ron, we
need to celebrate
14
00:00:35,438 --> 00:00:37,278
everything that we've done
together as a group.
15
00:00:37,297 --> 00:00:38,950
This is our last day here!
16
00:00:38,969 --> 00:00:42,009
Who knows when we'll all be
together like this again?
17
00:00:42,022 --> 00:00:43,642
Excuse me. Hi.
18
00:00:43,655 --> 00:00:47,384
There's a swing in a park near my house
that's been broken for about three months.
19
00:00:47,405 --> 00:00:49,162
Is it possible
to get that fixed?
20
00:00:49,187 --> 00:00:53,151
Anything is possible if
you follow your dreams.
21
00:00:53,165 --> 00:00:54,265
Johnny Karate.
22
00:00:54,285 --> 00:00:56,298
Except getting
a swing fixed.
23
00:00:56,311 --> 00:00:58,008
None of us actually
work here anymore.
24
00:00:58,022 --> 00:00:59,890
Come back in two hours
when the office is open.
25
00:00:59,904 --> 00:01:01,619
- Thank you.
- Wait.
26
00:01:02,045 --> 00:01:04,572
Actually, sir,
we can help.
27
00:01:04,578 --> 00:01:06,675
We can and we will
28
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:09,719
because when we used to work here,
helping people was our job.
29
00:01:09,733 --> 00:01:11,120
Forget about these
old stories.
30
00:01:11,133 --> 00:01:13,964
Let's make a new one.
Let's fix a swing.
31
00:01:13,983 --> 00:01:16,523
One last ride for the Parks
and Rec gang. Who's in?
32
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:17,563
All: Yeah.
33
00:01:17,575 --> 00:01:19,715
♪ The vote was
four to three ♪
34
00:01:19,728 --> 00:01:21,631
♪ Donna said
to get rid of me ♪
35
00:01:21,643 --> 00:01:23,071
♪ But Ron was suspicious ♪
36
00:01:23,077 --> 00:01:25,351
♪ 'Cause my coffee
was delicious ♪
37
00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:27,497
Come on, Garry,
you're the mayor now.
38
00:01:27,517 --> 00:01:28,887
Have some dignity.
39
00:01:30,037 --> 00:01:33,037
[Triumphant music]
40
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:50,433
Sync by Alice | Thank you honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
41
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:54,674
Okay, so what is our first step
on our quest to help this man?
42
00:01:54,694 --> 00:01:55,628
Does anyone remember?
43
00:01:55,647 --> 00:01:58,288
A parks and recreation
equipment requisition form.
44
00:01:58,302 --> 00:02:00,268
Correct. Five points
for Hufflepuff.
45
00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:01,740
Well, everything's
paperless now,
46
00:02:01,759 --> 00:02:05,052
and none of us has a log-in,
so can't access the computers.
47
00:02:05,064 --> 00:02:05,898
Hang on.
48
00:02:05,911 --> 00:02:09,276
I have one right here,
thanks to Leslie's scrapbook,
49
00:02:09,283 --> 00:02:11,013
"Thanks Form
the Memories!"
50
00:02:11,026 --> 00:02:13,802
Oh, I knew those scrapbooks
were gonna come in handy.
51
00:02:13,822 --> 00:02:16,275
You came through
like you always do.
52
00:02:16,931 --> 00:02:18,624
God, I'm gonna miss you.
53
00:02:18,644 --> 00:02:20,913
Your confidence,
your joie de vivre,
54
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,303
that crazy story about you
getting kicked out of En Vogue.
55
00:02:23,326 --> 00:02:25,487
Technically I kicked them out.
56
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:26,600
When do you leave
for Seattle?
57
00:02:26,620 --> 00:02:28,537
As soon as I get my local
real estate license.
58
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:30,669
I'm married to a teacher,
and I love the man,
59
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,211
but I also love
diamond watches.
60
00:02:33,235 --> 00:02:38,890
Well, whatever happens, I know you are
gonna live an exciting and full life.
61
00:02:42,810 --> 00:02:47,545
3,400 square feet,
a beautiful view of Puget Sound,
62
00:02:47,561 --> 00:02:48,818
and if you look
out this window,
63
00:02:48,831 --> 00:02:52,538
you can watch them build the new Space
Haystack around the Space Needle.
64
00:02:52,557 --> 00:02:53,631
Wow.
65
00:02:53,643 --> 00:02:55,471
I-I can hardly see
the needle anymore.
66
00:02:55,484 --> 00:02:58,929
I know. It's kind of the point.
So what are we thinking?
67
00:03:00,407 --> 00:03:01,634
Wow.
68
00:03:01,646 --> 00:03:03,703
It sold in two hours?
69
00:03:03,723 --> 00:03:06,181
You cannot beat the Seattle
real estate market.
70
00:03:06,193 --> 00:03:08,102
I think it's all that coffee
and legal marijuana
71
00:03:08,115 --> 00:03:11,279
- has people wanting to buy houses
quickly and irrationally. - Mm.
72
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:15,543
But the giant commission
check has me thinking about
73
00:03:15,561 --> 00:03:17,194
Donna-Joe Adventure Quest.
74
00:03:17,212 --> 00:03:20,745
Ooh, where are we going?
Well, it can't beat last year.
75
00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:23,246
I mean, Middle Korea,
so beautiful.
76
00:03:23,260 --> 00:03:24,522
Here's my idea.
77
00:03:24,547 --> 00:03:25,700
- The Amazon.
- Oh.
78
00:03:25,713 --> 00:03:30,234
Three weeks of the best and most expensive
places South America has to offer.
79
00:03:30,259 --> 00:03:31,452
I love it.
80
00:03:31,474 --> 00:03:34,862
Honestly, with the way work is
going, I just need this right now.
81
00:03:34,877 --> 00:03:38,954
The school cut the math
club and math.
82
00:03:38,974 --> 00:03:41,154
They just don't
teach math anymore.
83
00:03:41,174 --> 00:03:44,013
Aw, my poor little
do-gooder teacher baby.
84
00:03:44,025 --> 00:03:46,544
Why don't we cuddle up on
the couch, watch a movie,
85
00:03:46,563 --> 00:03:49,481
and then maybe later I'll wear
that little red thing?
86
00:03:49,491 --> 00:03:52,380
Yes. The red thing.
Here, let me get this.
87
00:03:55,697 --> 00:03:56,859
[beep]
88
00:03:57,298 --> 00:03:59,052
Call Satan's niece.
89
00:03:59,915 --> 00:04:01,447
Hey, what do you want?
90
00:04:02,150 --> 00:04:05,486
And this is me DJ-ing
a boat party in Venezuela,
91
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:07,640
kind of reminded me of the two
weeks you and I spent there.
92
00:04:07,653 --> 00:04:09,466
- Oh, yeah, that happened.
- Yeah, it did.
93
00:04:09,479 --> 00:04:10,833
April.
94
00:04:10,853 --> 00:04:12,173
What are you doing here?
95
00:04:12,186 --> 00:04:14,687
- Babe, have a seat.
- What's going on?
96
00:04:14,693 --> 00:04:16,852
Recently I was thinking
for the millionth time
97
00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:20,954
how lucky I am to have
found you, so I've decided
98
00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,582
to treat yo' self.
99
00:04:23,124 --> 00:04:26,297
You're gonna buy me a bunch
of leather handbags?
100
00:04:26,316 --> 00:04:29,980
Donna is going to take some of the money
you usually use on your trips
101
00:04:29,993 --> 00:04:33,314
and establish an education program
through the foundation I work for.
102
00:04:33,334 --> 00:04:35,592
It's called "Teach Yo' Self,"
and you and the other teachers
103
00:04:35,605 --> 00:04:37,838
will get money for
after-school programs,
104
00:04:37,851 --> 00:04:40,912
for music, art, math,
whatever you want.
105
00:04:40,924 --> 00:04:43,691
Baby, this is really
generous, but
106
00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:47,979
I love our trips,
and honestly it's your money.
107
00:04:47,992 --> 00:04:50,696
- You should spend it how you want.
- This is what I want.
108
00:04:50,709 --> 00:04:52,553
I've had a lot
of adventures.
109
00:04:52,571 --> 00:04:55,649
I single-handedly started
that doorknockers earring trend.
110
00:04:55,655 --> 00:04:57,534
I came in ninth
in Italy's Got Talent.
111
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,995
- Yeah.
- I served on a NASCAR pit crew.
112
00:05:00,014 --> 00:05:03,043
I want a new kind
of adventure, and
113
00:05:03,054 --> 00:05:04,760
I want to take it with you.
114
00:05:05,329 --> 00:05:09,475
Okay, I feel like it's time
for me to get out of here.
115
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,879
[Leslie sighs]
116
00:05:11,314 --> 00:05:13,867
What is this mess?
Why are you all in my office?
117
00:05:13,887 --> 00:05:16,912
We are on one last mission
to help the people of Pawnee.
118
00:05:16,931 --> 00:05:20,355
Craig, can you sign the requisition form?
It'd speed things up.
119
00:05:20,374 --> 00:05:22,408
You know, Craig, when
I first met you, I thought,
120
00:05:22,420 --> 00:05:24,319
"There's a man
who loves his job."
121
00:05:24,332 --> 00:05:27,243
And then I thought,
"Oh, wow, he's intense."
122
00:05:27,263 --> 00:05:29,977
And then I thought,
"Oh, no, he's insane.
123
00:05:29,995 --> 00:05:32,319
That person is psychotic,
and I need to call the police."
124
00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:34,718
Yeah, that's usually
the way it goes.
125
00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:37,672
But I just think
you've come so far,
126
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:42,125
and I'm so glad that we are leaving
the Parks Department in your hands.
127
00:05:43,545 --> 00:05:47,053
♪ Funny, though it's true ♪
128
00:05:47,066 --> 00:05:50,621
♪ Those silly things you do ♪
129
00:05:50,634 --> 00:05:55,653
♪ They only bring me closer ♪
130
00:05:55,666 --> 00:06:00,113
♪ To you ♪
131
00:06:00,129 --> 00:06:02,831
[applause]
132
00:06:03,713 --> 00:06:04,980
Nice crooning, buddy.
133
00:06:05,001 --> 00:06:07,836
The gentleman over
by the bar there
134
00:06:07,844 --> 00:06:11,835
sent you over this glass of
wine and his business card.
135
00:06:13,530 --> 00:06:16,607
Okay, so as you all know,
Tom's Bistro...
136
00:06:16,999 --> 00:06:18,691
Okay, fine.
137
00:06:19,698 --> 00:06:21,126
We are gathered here today
138
00:06:21,138 --> 00:06:25,189
to join Craig Middlebrooks
and Typhoon Montalban
139
00:06:25,202 --> 00:06:26,249
in holy matrimony.
140
00:06:26,269 --> 00:06:27,975
I don't know about this.
I'm very scared.
141
00:06:27,982 --> 00:06:30,274
Oh, just relax,
you nervous Nelly.
142
00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:34,848
You're right. We love each other,
and the tax break is substantial.
143
00:06:34,868 --> 00:06:37,209
Will the best man please
present the rings?
144
00:06:37,808 --> 00:06:39,619
Good luck, you two.
145
00:06:43,393 --> 00:06:47,075
Typhoon, my love,
happy anniversary.
146
00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:49,291
Do you have any regrets?
147
00:06:49,305 --> 00:06:51,558
Not one.
Not a single one.
148
00:06:51,564 --> 00:06:54,700
- Do you have any regrets?
- Are you kidding? Thousands.
149
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:56,647
Most recently this trout!
150
00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:57,927
[chuckles]
151
00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:01,637
Okay, April and Andy,
I need to file this.
152
00:07:01,651 --> 00:07:04,164
Would anyone like to accompany
me to the fourth floor?
153
00:07:04,183 --> 00:07:06,890
- One last journey to the weirdest
place on Earth? Yes. - Shotgun!
154
00:07:06,910 --> 00:07:09,802
- We--we're just taking the elevator.
- I get to push buttons. I called it.
155
00:07:09,815 --> 00:07:10,588
Oh--
156
00:07:10,602 --> 00:07:12,544
- He called it.
- Yeah, I know, I heard.
157
00:07:13,889 --> 00:07:17,013
Ethel Beavers, we need
this filed, please.
158
00:07:17,032 --> 00:07:20,899
We've gone digital. Get with
the times, you Luddite.
159
00:07:20,912 --> 00:07:24,604
Man, of all the places in Pawnee, I'm
gonna miss the fourth floor the most.
160
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:28,572
The disturbing murals,
the ominous lighting...
161
00:07:28,594 --> 00:07:29,847
the creepy people.
162
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,044
Hi, April.
163
00:07:31,063 --> 00:07:32,836
I'm gonna miss
the food in Pawnee.
164
00:07:32,849 --> 00:07:35,719
Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut,
165
00:07:35,739 --> 00:07:38,106
and most of all, I'm
gonna miss you, Leslie.
166
00:07:38,119 --> 00:07:40,025
Aw, Andy, all of
those things,
167
00:07:40,039 --> 00:07:43,241
including me, will still
be with you in Washington.
168
00:07:43,950 --> 00:07:45,650
That is a beautiful sentiment.
169
00:07:45,672 --> 00:07:46,739
It--
170
00:07:46,763 --> 00:07:50,526
I just want to say that we are about
to embark on an amazing adventure,
171
00:07:50,539 --> 00:07:52,639
and whatever happens,
172
00:07:52,654 --> 00:07:55,935
just know that Ben and I
are always there for you.
173
00:07:57,337 --> 00:07:59,148
[softly grunting]
174
00:08:00,020 --> 00:08:02,123
Agent Macklin, I need you.
175
00:08:02,136 --> 00:08:05,302
Some thieves are trying to steal
the legendary Snakehole Sapphire.
176
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:07,032
What the-- No!
177
00:08:07,052 --> 00:08:10,505
That sapphire has the power
to activate the Cuban Missile Crisis.
178
00:08:10,518 --> 00:08:13,564
Damn it, Macklin!
I love it when you take charge.
179
00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:16,178
Make love to me, you fool,
you animal!
180
00:08:16,203 --> 00:08:18,237
[doorbell rings]
[grunts]
181
00:08:18,262 --> 00:08:20,410
Okay, rain-check that,
all right?
182
00:08:21,044 --> 00:08:22,347
They're here.
183
00:08:23,093 --> 00:08:24,800
All: Trick or treat!
184
00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:26,720
Oh! Look at them!
185
00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:30,626
Here you go, you little monsters.
I love this. You guys are the best.
186
00:08:30,651 --> 00:08:33,005
[door closes]
My love, we have to go.
187
00:08:33,018 --> 00:08:35,405
Just put all the candy
in a bowl or something.
188
00:08:36,030 --> 00:08:36,892
What's wrong?
189
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,677
- Did you eat all the candy?
- No.
190
00:08:38,690 --> 00:08:40,046
- Did you?
- Yes.
191
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:44,355
But that's not what's wrong. It's just,
seeing all those kids out there...
192
00:08:44,946 --> 00:08:46,333
Babe...
193
00:08:48,116 --> 00:08:50,183
I want to put a babe
in you, babe.
194
00:08:50,192 --> 00:08:52,659
Andy, you know where
I stand on this.
195
00:08:52,671 --> 00:08:56,236
Yes, I would love all the awesome
stuff my body would go through.
196
00:08:56,249 --> 00:08:59,994
I mean, if all it meant was puking
and getting weird stretch marks
197
00:09:00,019 --> 00:09:02,579
and veins everywhere,
then sign me up.
198
00:09:02,592 --> 00:09:05,506
But at the end, we've brought
a child into the world.
199
00:09:05,525 --> 00:09:06,812
- That's disgusting.
- No.
200
00:09:06,825 --> 00:09:09,853
They wipe all of the disgusting
stuff off of it immediately.
201
00:09:10,973 --> 00:09:12,000
We're gonna be
late for dinner.
202
00:09:12,008 --> 00:09:13,565
- Okay.
- Let's go.
203
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:18,843
- Hey. - Come on in.
- Hey, always nice to see Janet Snakehole
204
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,780
and Burt Macklin
in the mix.
205
00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:21,995
What are you
guys dressed as?
206
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:25,331
Oh, I'm Sandra Dee O'Connor.
Get it?
207
00:09:25,344 --> 00:09:28,293
Sandra Dee plus
Sandra Day O'Connor?
208
00:09:28,305 --> 00:09:30,614
- Who's Sandra Dee?
- Who's Sandra Day O'Connor?
209
00:09:30,627 --> 00:09:31,374
Forget it.
210
00:09:31,393 --> 00:09:34,601
And I am the Lamplighter,
211
00:09:34,620 --> 00:09:36,961
a character from my new
board game sequel,
212
00:09:36,973 --> 00:09:39,935
"Cones of Dunshire:
Winds of Tremorrah."
213
00:09:39,948 --> 00:09:44,631
Gameplay Magazine called it
"punishingly intricate."
214
00:09:44,644 --> 00:09:45,805
Hey, where are
the kids at?
215
00:09:45,817 --> 00:09:47,773
I want to say hi and wrestle
all three of them at once.
216
00:09:47,793 --> 00:09:50,380
Oh, they're trick-or-treating
in Georgetown with some friends.
217
00:09:50,393 --> 00:09:53,888
It's just us grown-ups
tonight, no kids at all.
218
00:09:59,561 --> 00:10:02,848
Hey, Andy, why don't you
give me a hand in the kitchen?
219
00:10:03,980 --> 00:10:06,346
So what do you need
a hand with?
220
00:10:06,369 --> 00:10:09,287
Oh, no, I just thought
you might want to talk.
221
00:10:09,772 --> 00:10:13,491
Whoa. Dude,
that's really slick.
222
00:10:13,504 --> 00:10:16,633
Oh, man, that's some secret
agent stuff right there.
223
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,193
So April's still on
the fence about kids, huh?
224
00:10:19,199 --> 00:10:21,444
Yeah, and I'm
freaking out, man.
225
00:10:21,457 --> 00:10:23,398
I want kids so bad.
226
00:10:23,410 --> 00:10:25,316
You know, yesterday
I was at the park,
227
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:29,146
and I saw this group of eight-year-olds
laughing, playing, having a good time.
228
00:10:29,159 --> 00:10:30,913
I almost started crying.
229
00:10:30,925 --> 00:10:32,705
Granted, I'd just face-planted
on my rollerblades.
230
00:10:32,725 --> 00:10:34,272
That's what
they were laughing at.
231
00:10:34,284 --> 00:10:35,546
Sure.
232
00:10:36,258 --> 00:10:38,592
- All right, go ahead.
- What?
233
00:10:38,613 --> 00:10:41,051
You're gonna lecture me about
how Andy and I should have kids.
234
00:10:41,064 --> 00:10:42,509
You're gonna be like,
"They're so great.
235
00:10:42,528 --> 00:10:44,733
"They change your life,
and yes, they drive you nuts,
236
00:10:44,753 --> 00:10:47,100
"but it's all worth it for
the beauty and the majesty
237
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,018
"and the glory of their little
faces in the morning.
238
00:10:49,043 --> 00:10:51,742
Blah, blah, blah, and barf."
You know why it's so unfair?
239
00:10:51,755 --> 00:10:53,315
Because you guys
got so lucky.
240
00:10:53,327 --> 00:10:55,391
You had sex one time,
and you had three kids,
241
00:10:55,411 --> 00:10:58,525
and they're all, like, smart
and great and healthy,
242
00:10:58,538 --> 00:10:59,818
and now your lives
are perfect.
243
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,778
But our life is pretty
perfect already.
244
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:04,178
And you know what, kids act
the opposite of their parents.
245
00:11:04,191 --> 00:11:05,592
That's why your kids
are so cool.
246
00:11:05,617 --> 00:11:09,111
But Andy and I are cool already, so our
kids will be, like, really lame and weird.
247
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,204
I'm sorry. I just don't
know what to do.
248
00:11:11,218 --> 00:11:13,424
Please tell me what to do.
What do I do?
249
00:11:13,955 --> 00:11:16,328
It's not about trying
to make your life perfect.
250
00:11:16,341 --> 00:11:18,312
Nobody's lives are perfect.
251
00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:23,306
You have kids because
you and Andy are a team
252
00:11:23,318 --> 00:11:25,581
and you want to bring in
some new team members.
253
00:11:25,594 --> 00:11:27,630
So you think we should?
254
00:11:27,636 --> 00:11:29,988
I don't know if you should have kids.
I really don't.
255
00:11:30,405 --> 00:11:32,734
But I do like your team.
256
00:11:34,035 --> 00:11:37,026
All right, Ms. Ludgate,
we're getting close.
257
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,816
Babe, you look more beautiful right
now than I have ever seen you.
258
00:11:41,324 --> 00:11:42,360
Wow.
259
00:11:42,385 --> 00:11:45,120
Just your luck that you're going
into labor on Halloween.
260
00:11:45,134 --> 00:11:47,521
Can I get a warm towel
to get that makeup off?
261
00:11:47,531 --> 00:11:50,242
No! I want it on!
That's the whole point.
262
00:11:50,259 --> 00:11:52,515
I put the makeup on
after I went into labor.
263
00:11:52,527 --> 00:11:56,488
Whatever blows your skirt up.
Okay, you ready to push?
264
00:11:56,513 --> 00:11:58,459
Wait, no. Babe,
my birth mix.
265
00:11:59,021 --> 00:12:00,670
[Monster Mash plays]
♪ He did the mash ♪
266
00:12:01,224 --> 00:12:03,285
Here comes a contraction.
Are you ready?
267
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,732
- Okay, I'm ready. Let's do this.
♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪
268
00:12:05,757 --> 00:12:07,397
♪ He did the mash ♪
269
00:12:07,404 --> 00:12:09,049
♪ It caught on in a flash ♪
270
00:12:09,068 --> 00:12:10,755
♪ He did the mash ♪
271
00:12:10,767 --> 00:12:12,534
♪ He did the monster mash ♪
272
00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:15,984
♪ From my laboratory
in the castle east ♪
273
00:12:16,352 --> 00:12:17,818
Burt Macklin Junior?
274
00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:20,227
Mm, we need
a Halloween angle.
275
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,917
How about...
276
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:24,815
Demon Spawn Baby
Satan Dwyer?
277
00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:26,484
Oh, I like that. Yeah.
278
00:12:26,509 --> 00:12:28,196
Or maybe
279
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:35,282
Burt Snakehole Ludgate Karate Dracula
Macklin Demon Jack-o-Lantern Dwyer?
280
00:12:35,295 --> 00:12:36,872
We call him "Jack"
for short.
281
00:12:37,327 --> 00:12:41,571
Hey. Hi. Oh, I want to scream, but
I don't want to wake up my godchild.
282
00:12:41,584 --> 00:12:43,647
I'm assuming it's my godchild, right?
We can talk about it later.
283
00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:46,393
Congrats, guys. I know it
came unexpectedly early,
284
00:12:46,406 --> 00:12:48,286
but pretty cool he
was born in Pawnee.
285
00:12:48,299 --> 00:12:50,926
Where do I put these? I have
so many presents, it's weird.
286
00:12:50,945 --> 00:12:52,446
[whispers] Yes!
287
00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:53,931
Oh, for the baby?
288
00:12:54,739 --> 00:12:56,280
Just put them over there.
289
00:12:57,348 --> 00:12:59,141
- What's his name?
- Jack.
290
00:12:59,161 --> 00:13:01,673
[exhales deeply]
Oh, that's good.
291
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,745
Welcome to the team,
little guy.
292
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:12,247
Take this down
to maintenance.
293
00:13:12,257 --> 00:13:13,739
I know just where
to take it, Ethel,
294
00:13:13,753 --> 00:13:15,928
and I know just the person
who should accompany me.
295
00:13:15,941 --> 00:13:18,658
- I'm a little busy right now.
- Not you, Kyle.
296
00:13:18,683 --> 00:13:20,589
How many times
did you and I
297
00:13:20,601 --> 00:13:23,487
deliver a form to maintenance
just like this?
298
00:13:23,493 --> 00:13:25,845
Oh, so many great conversations,
299
00:13:25,857 --> 00:13:28,117
bonding and mentoring
moments.
300
00:13:28,137 --> 00:13:32,563
It seems only right that we make
this journey one final time.
301
00:13:33,404 --> 00:13:34,839
- What was that, boo-boo?
- Nothing.
302
00:13:34,859 --> 00:13:36,579
Oh!
303
00:13:36,585 --> 00:13:39,995
Tommy-T and Sexy Lexy Knope.
304
00:13:40,015 --> 00:13:42,354
Ooh, what are you two
bad larrys up to?
305
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:46,223
Well, this is our last day in Pawnee,
and we have one last problem to fix.
306
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,976
Hold up. You're leaving?
307
00:13:47,982 --> 00:13:48,983
For truth?
308
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:51,703
I am gonna miss
you so much.
309
00:13:51,716 --> 00:13:53,336
What's going on?
You're not injured?
310
00:13:53,349 --> 00:13:55,009
Uh, yeah, I'm injured.
311
00:13:55,028 --> 00:13:58,866
I got a terminal case of "Get me
to the front of the line at Six Flags"!
312
00:13:58,878 --> 00:14:00,840
Both: Shaaa-boosh!
313
00:14:00,851 --> 00:14:03,211
It's a winter wonderland.
314
00:14:03,671 --> 00:14:06,589
I'm gonna be so sad
to see you go.
315
00:14:06,614 --> 00:14:09,864
Will you do me
one final kindness?
316
00:14:09,877 --> 00:14:13,558
Will you pretend to be my wife
for an insurance scam,
317
00:14:13,564 --> 00:14:16,544
but then we fall
in love for real?
318
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:19,722
Also, can I have a pair of your gym socks?
No, wait, it's not for anything weird.
319
00:14:19,747 --> 00:14:21,380
It's just a fetish I have.
320
00:14:21,387 --> 00:14:22,974
- Jean-Ralphio...
- Yeah.
321
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:26,041
Although I truly hope
that I never see you again,
322
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:30,168
I do wish you a long
and happy life.
323
00:14:31,585 --> 00:14:35,582
Today, we say good-bye
to Jean-Ralphio Saperstein.
324
00:14:36,082 --> 00:14:38,106
As per his last will
and testament,
325
00:14:38,131 --> 00:14:40,925
we will now listen
to his favorite song,
326
00:14:40,937 --> 00:14:44,627
Bend Over by Lil Jon,
featuring Tyga.
327
00:14:44,648 --> 00:14:46,942
♪ Bend ova, make your knees
touch your elbows ♪
328
00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:49,281
♪
329
00:14:49,293 --> 00:14:51,698
♪ Bend ova, make your knees
touch your elbows ♪
330
00:14:51,714 --> 00:14:54,362
♪
331
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:57,277
Ooh, okay. Okay, they bought it.
They bought it.
332
00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:00,189
- Do you have the insurance money?
- No doubt. No doubt. Let's hit it, bro.
333
00:15:00,202 --> 00:15:02,256
Time to start
a casino in...
334
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:05,975
- ♪ Tajikistan ♪
- ♪ Aaaaan ♪
335
00:15:05,994 --> 00:15:07,664
[deep voice]
♪ Tajikistan ♪
336
00:15:07,684 --> 00:15:09,291
♪ Talking 'bout Tajiki... ♪
337
00:15:09,297 --> 00:15:10,617
both: Stan!
338
00:15:10,636 --> 00:15:11,784
Jean-Ralphio?
339
00:15:11,797 --> 00:15:14,421
- Go! Tajikistan is off!
- Go, go, go, go!
340
00:15:14,438 --> 00:15:17,396
Tajikistan is off!
Tajikistan is off!
341
00:15:17,409 --> 00:15:18,583
So...
342
00:15:18,608 --> 00:15:21,088
Tom and I have
a swing to fix.
343
00:15:21,107 --> 00:15:22,266
Let's go.
344
00:15:23,407 --> 00:15:24,583
Leslie,
345
00:15:25,254 --> 00:15:26,854
I've always loved you.
346
00:15:27,758 --> 00:15:29,228
I know.
347
00:15:34,610 --> 00:15:38,152
Oh, man! I forgot that maintenance
was closed on Fridays.
348
00:15:38,172 --> 00:15:41,505
What would our last ride be without
one more bureaucratic snafu?
349
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:44,434
Don't worry, boo-boo, Tommy will
solve this problem no sweat.
350
00:15:44,447 --> 00:15:47,567
Can I just say, Tom, you
have accomplished so much.
351
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,288
You have come so far.
Now you're so successful.
352
00:15:50,307 --> 00:15:51,949
- Don't forget well-dressed.
- Yes.
353
00:15:51,974 --> 00:15:53,174
And well-dressed.
354
00:15:53,187 --> 00:15:55,382
I am so very proud of you.
355
00:15:55,850 --> 00:15:57,357
Thanks, Leslie.
356
00:15:57,382 --> 00:15:59,090
I'm proud of me too.
357
00:15:59,103 --> 00:16:02,975
Nice crooning, buddy. Uh,
the gentleman by the bar there
358
00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:04,875
sent you over this
glass of wine...
359
00:16:04,885 --> 00:16:07,682
and his business card.
360
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:11,674
Okay, so as you all know,
361
00:16:11,692 --> 00:16:15,264
Tom's Bistro has been presented
with a huge expansion opportunity.
362
00:16:15,289 --> 00:16:18,189
I don't want to make a decision until
I hear from my senior advisory board.
363
00:16:18,203 --> 00:16:20,236
So is this a good idea?
364
00:16:20,255 --> 00:16:22,718
- Accounting Nerd?
- I'm a congressman, Tom.
365
00:16:22,724 --> 00:16:24,291
Can you at least
call me "Ben"?
366
00:16:24,298 --> 00:16:25,938
No can do,
Accounting Nerd.
367
00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:27,485
We all knew you before
you were a big shot.
368
00:16:27,506 --> 00:16:29,049
Let's keep the whining
to a minimum.
369
00:16:29,074 --> 00:16:31,255
Well, there are
always gonna be risks
370
00:16:31,274 --> 00:16:33,997
when you open new restaurants,
but you've done your homework.
371
00:16:34,012 --> 00:16:36,205
All the numbers line up.
372
00:16:36,218 --> 00:16:37,279
Side note:
373
00:16:37,292 --> 00:16:41,987
I would again strongly recommend
adding calzones to the menu.
374
00:16:42,007 --> 00:16:44,081
Ugh. The worst. Ron?
375
00:16:44,094 --> 00:16:49,102
It's a bold, capitalistic gambit, son,
but nothing ventured, nothing gained.
376
00:16:49,127 --> 00:16:50,337
Regal Meagle?
377
00:16:50,362 --> 00:16:52,175
Real estate is pretty
cheap right now.
378
00:16:52,195 --> 00:16:54,436
If you're gonna do it,
this is a good time.
379
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,382
Okay, I'm doing it.
380
00:16:56,395 --> 00:17:00,864
Over the next five years, there's gonna
be 20 Tom's Bistros across America.
381
00:17:00,877 --> 00:17:03,520
Look out, world,
Tommy's about to blow up.
382
00:17:04,062 --> 00:17:06,175
[explosion]
[English accent] And blow up he did,
383
00:17:06,188 --> 00:17:07,981
but not in the good way.
384
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:09,788
He lost everything.
385
00:17:09,801 --> 00:17:13,715
Today, Tom Haverford
is broke, destitute,
386
00:17:13,727 --> 00:17:16,184
and worst of all,
swaggerless.
387
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:18,016
Tommy, you got to stop
watching this.
388
00:17:18,036 --> 00:17:19,796
I can't tear myself away.
389
00:17:19,809 --> 00:17:21,696
It's a whole documentary
about my failures.
390
00:17:21,702 --> 00:17:23,589
That you made.
391
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,182
I had to.
392
00:17:25,195 --> 00:17:27,997
I have to remember every tiny,
awful aspect of this.
393
00:17:28,012 --> 00:17:29,572
I lost everything, Lucy--
394
00:17:29,585 --> 00:17:31,485
The franchises,
most of my money.
395
00:17:31,498 --> 00:17:33,232
I had to sell my pocket
square collection.
396
00:17:33,245 --> 00:17:35,332
What are people's eyes
gonna be drawn to?
397
00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:37,369
Look, you had
a tough break.
398
00:17:37,377 --> 00:17:39,710
The stock market tanked,
credit dried up.
399
00:17:39,723 --> 00:17:42,124
Who could have predicted that
the country would run out of beef?
400
00:17:42,137 --> 00:17:43,884
You just got to move on.
401
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:46,330
That's the problem, though.
I've gone bust in the past,
402
00:17:46,343 --> 00:17:48,180
but it was because
I did something reckless.
403
00:17:48,194 --> 00:17:51,154
This time I was smart and careful,
and I still went broke.
404
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,863
What do I do now?
405
00:17:52,888 --> 00:17:57,012
Well, you and I are gonna be fine,
and you'll come up with a new idea.
406
00:17:57,025 --> 00:17:58,398
You always do.
407
00:17:59,896 --> 00:18:02,471
I once started
an entertainment company.
408
00:18:02,484 --> 00:18:04,009
It failed in four months.
409
00:18:04,507 --> 00:18:06,787
I opened a clothing
rental store.
410
00:18:06,793 --> 00:18:09,192
I built a restaurant empire.
411
00:18:09,585 --> 00:18:10,899
They all failed,
412
00:18:10,912 --> 00:18:15,461
but the story of America isn't
about second or third chances.
413
00:18:15,474 --> 00:18:20,538
It's about 4th, 5th,
6th, 20th, 50th chances.
414
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:23,907
That's how long it took me
to get where I am today:
415
00:18:23,919 --> 00:18:25,698
Best-selling author of...
416
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:28,725
Failure:
An American Success Story.
417
00:18:28,742 --> 00:18:31,744
[applause]
418
00:18:36,896 --> 00:18:38,496
As you know
if you've read the book,
419
00:18:38,516 --> 00:18:42,355
I've outlined seven different
types of successful people.
420
00:18:42,708 --> 00:18:45,510
You can be an Andy,
421
00:18:46,110 --> 00:18:47,660
an April,
422
00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:49,887
a Ben,
423
00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:51,572
a Leslie,
424
00:18:51,924 --> 00:18:53,298
a Ron,
425
00:18:54,209 --> 00:18:55,652
a Donna,
426
00:18:56,256 --> 00:18:59,069
or my personal
favorite, a Tom.
427
00:18:59,075 --> 00:19:02,070
But what do we definitely
not want to be?
428
00:19:02,083 --> 00:19:03,550
All: A Garry!
429
00:19:03,556 --> 00:19:05,986
That's right.
Do not be a Garry.
430
00:19:05,998 --> 00:19:08,591
Oh, he's talking about me!
431
00:19:08,616 --> 00:19:09,682
[laughs]
432
00:19:10,536 --> 00:19:11,476
Hey.
433
00:19:11,489 --> 00:19:13,751
Hey, thanks so much
for coming, guys.
434
00:19:13,764 --> 00:19:16,404
Are you kidding?
Tom, this is incredible.
435
00:19:16,410 --> 00:19:18,866
A best-selling book,
a 40-city tour?
436
00:19:18,872 --> 00:19:20,352
Well, I couldn't have
done it without you.
437
00:19:20,372 --> 00:19:22,045
Well, the book's
called Failure.
438
00:19:22,051 --> 00:19:23,795
- I don't know how to take that.
- I'm serious.
439
00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:25,900
You guys have always
supported me.
440
00:19:25,913 --> 00:19:27,771
Here, I inscribed you a copy.
441
00:19:28,213 --> 00:19:29,276
Oh.
442
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,906
"When I think of success,
I think of you.
443
00:19:31,919 --> 00:19:34,162
"You are a true
inspiration to me.
444
00:19:34,168 --> 00:19:36,473
I love you,
Tom Haverford."
445
00:19:36,486 --> 00:19:38,864
Oh, sorry, that's actually
for Kendrick Lamar.
446
00:19:39,552 --> 00:19:40,757
Here's yours.
447
00:19:41,453 --> 00:19:43,016
"Best wishes."
448
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:45,969
And I mean every
word of it.
449
00:19:50,229 --> 00:19:52,183
So how are we gonna
fix this swing?
450
00:19:52,196 --> 00:19:53,596
Hold a public forum,
451
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:56,583
have a rally, smash that door,
and do some looting?
452
00:19:56,603 --> 00:19:58,678
Actually, I think
there's a simpler solution.
453
00:19:58,684 --> 00:20:01,272
We just need the help of
the most powerful man in Pawnee.
454
00:20:03,056 --> 00:20:05,922
Jim, how the heck are you?
Yeah, look.
455
00:20:05,933 --> 00:20:08,318
I hate to bother you, but I'm
here with my two best friends,
456
00:20:08,330 --> 00:20:09,841
Leslie Knope
and Tom Haverford...
457
00:20:09,855 --> 00:20:11,188
- [laughs]
- Shh!
458
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,366
And we need the first floor
maintenance room open.
459
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:16,471
Mm. Okay, great, and best
to Louise and the girls.
460
00:20:16,484 --> 00:20:18,104
Okay, bye-bye.
461
00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:20,290
- You guys are all set.
- Thank you, Mayor Gergich.
462
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:21,677
You really saved our butts.
463
00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:23,538
I am so happy that
you get to be mayor.
464
00:20:23,551 --> 00:20:25,767
- Are you enjoying yourself?
- Oh, are you kidding me?
465
00:20:25,773 --> 00:20:28,104
Leslie, I know that this
is purely ceremonial,
466
00:20:28,117 --> 00:20:30,753
and it'll be over in just
a couple of weeks, but
467
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:33,285
I just don't know how my life
could get any better than this.
468
00:20:33,304 --> 00:20:34,412
Oh!
469
00:20:35,915 --> 00:20:39,128
In a turn of events both
shocking and unexpected,
470
00:20:39,148 --> 00:20:42,795
interim mayor Garry Gergich
was officially elected today,
471
00:20:42,807 --> 00:20:45,448
thanks to a massive
write-in campaign.
472
00:20:45,460 --> 00:20:48,571
Mayor Gergich, what are your plans
for your first actual term?
473
00:20:48,591 --> 00:20:51,210
Oh, jeez, you know what?
I have no idea, Perd.
474
00:20:51,230 --> 00:20:53,190
I mean, this is so crazy.
475
00:20:53,203 --> 00:20:56,573
I just hope I do a good job,
and I promise I'm gonna try my best.
476
00:20:56,991 --> 00:21:00,496
And faithfully serve the people
of Pawnee, Indiana.
477
00:21:00,508 --> 00:21:04,878
As president of City Council,
I, Councilwoman Brandi Maxxxx,
478
00:21:04,902 --> 00:21:09,101
star of more than 11,000 adult
films in the last two years,
479
00:21:09,113 --> 00:21:13,551
officially declare Garry Gergich
Mayor of Pawnee, Indiana,
480
00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:14,771
for the fourth time.
481
00:21:14,790 --> 00:21:16,281
Thank you, Pawnee!
482
00:21:16,772 --> 00:21:18,172
Okay, great.
483
00:21:18,185 --> 00:21:20,828
Garry Gergich, you are
now mayor, again,
484
00:21:20,841 --> 00:21:23,646
for the tenth time,
proving conclusively
485
00:21:23,659 --> 00:21:25,998
that in these corporate states
of America,
486
00:21:26,011 --> 00:21:29,308
it's the entrenched powers
who hold all the cards.
487
00:21:29,314 --> 00:21:31,230
Thank you,
Councilman Morris.
488
00:21:31,243 --> 00:21:33,264
Thank you, Pawnee!
489
00:21:33,277 --> 00:21:37,603
Happy birthday,
my sweet, sweet husband.
490
00:21:37,616 --> 00:21:40,371
We all love you so much.
491
00:21:40,396 --> 00:21:42,944
I have had
the perfect life.
492
00:21:43,485 --> 00:21:45,698
I have had the perfect
marriage...
493
00:21:45,711 --> 00:21:48,305
- Oh! [Giggles]
- The perfect children,
494
00:21:48,318 --> 00:21:52,399
and the perfect grandchildren
and great-grandchildren!
495
00:21:53,042 --> 00:21:56,516
And I just want you to know
how much I love you.
496
00:21:56,529 --> 00:21:59,511
Okay, come on, everybody,
say, "Gergich!"
497
00:21:59,530 --> 00:22:01,853
All: Gergich!
[camera shutter clicks]
498
00:22:03,631 --> 00:22:07,526
Mayor Garry Gergich
died peacefully in his sleep
499
00:22:07,539 --> 00:22:09,559
on his 100th birthday,
500
00:22:09,573 --> 00:22:12,393
holding the hand
of his beloved wife, Gayle.
501
00:22:13,308 --> 00:22:16,099
Man, Gayle looks amazing.
502
00:22:16,685 --> 00:22:18,165
Yeah, yeah. I know.
503
00:22:18,178 --> 00:22:23,294
He will now be given the Indiana
Notary Society's highest honor,
504
00:22:23,319 --> 00:22:25,231
the 21-Stamp Salute.
505
00:22:32,847 --> 00:22:35,326
Oh, rest in peace, friend.
506
00:22:36,078 --> 00:22:39,991
They spelled his name wrong
on the tombstone.
507
00:22:40,930 --> 00:22:44,060
- Eh, close enough.
- Eh.
508
00:22:45,027 --> 00:22:46,811
It's time to go.
509
00:22:49,327 --> 00:22:51,722
Okay. How's this
for a headline?
510
00:22:51,735 --> 00:22:55,114
"Still Swinging: Parks Gang
Reunites for One Last Bang."
511
00:22:55,127 --> 00:22:56,127
That's a little dirty.
512
00:22:56,147 --> 00:22:58,486
Well, it's a headline, Shauna.
Sex sells.
513
00:22:58,506 --> 00:22:59,646
Knope,
514
00:22:59,659 --> 00:23:02,787
make yourself useful and hand
me that crescent wrench.
515
00:23:02,799 --> 00:23:06,467
Oh, not bad
craftsmanship, Ron.
516
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,853
It is perfect craftsmanship.
517
00:23:10,053 --> 00:23:13,376
I calculate the cost
of my labor at $38.
518
00:23:14,206 --> 00:23:16,183
I can send
the bill to you?
519
00:23:17,167 --> 00:23:19,055
So you think you're
gonna stick around Pawnee?
520
00:23:19,068 --> 00:23:21,075
Oh, I imagine so.
521
00:23:21,093 --> 00:23:23,552
Not sure where
I would go, really.
522
00:23:23,564 --> 00:23:25,627
Well, we're gonna
come back here a lot.
523
00:23:26,472 --> 00:23:28,240
You know what they say.
524
00:23:29,774 --> 00:23:31,521
Don't be a stranger.
525
00:23:33,325 --> 00:23:35,672
Despite the recent
financial crisis,
526
00:23:35,685 --> 00:23:39,704
Very Good Building Company
will finish fiscal year 2022
527
00:23:39,717 --> 00:23:42,472
in excellent financial shape,
thanks in large part
528
00:23:42,491 --> 00:23:45,291
to the stewardship of your
chairman, Ron Swanson.
529
00:23:45,316 --> 00:23:48,303
Mr. Chairman, would you
like to say a few words?
530
00:23:51,956 --> 00:23:55,482
I resign as chairman,
effective immediately.
531
00:23:55,507 --> 00:23:58,927
Uh, would you like
to explain why?
532
00:23:58,939 --> 00:23:59,760
No.
533
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:02,357
Should we discuss
your retirement package?
534
00:24:02,370 --> 00:24:04,731
Just give me whatever
the board thinks is fair.
535
00:24:04,756 --> 00:24:07,636
- Agreed.
- Best of luck.
536
00:24:07,649 --> 00:24:10,435
Don't get emotional, Vaughn.
You're embarrassing yourself.
537
00:24:12,861 --> 00:24:14,315
What just happened?
538
00:24:18,572 --> 00:24:20,971
Ron, your family
is beautiful.
539
00:24:20,996 --> 00:24:22,757
They're a handsome bunch.
540
00:24:22,770 --> 00:24:24,477
Diane and I are
especially proud
541
00:24:24,502 --> 00:24:27,737
because Ivy was just accepted
at Stanford University.
542
00:24:27,756 --> 00:24:30,077
- Wow.
- Yeah, it's gonna cost an arm and a leg.
543
00:24:30,083 --> 00:24:32,603
- You take my advice?
- I did. Thank you, again.
544
00:24:32,623 --> 00:24:37,089
I sold some of my gold and officially
diversified my portfolio.
545
00:24:37,721 --> 00:24:41,541
Congratulations. You now own 51%
of the Lagavulin Distillery.
546
00:24:41,547 --> 00:24:42,848
Pleasure doing
business with you.
547
00:24:42,868 --> 00:24:43,928
And with you.
548
00:24:43,940 --> 00:24:45,565
All: Sláinte.
549
00:24:47,529 --> 00:24:50,681
So, Ron, what
brings you here?
550
00:24:52,108 --> 00:24:55,068
I am at something of
a personal crossroads.
551
00:24:55,081 --> 00:24:57,935
Yes! I love personal
crossroads.
552
00:24:57,947 --> 00:25:01,606
I once made the mistake of not
talking to you at such a moment,
553
00:25:01,612 --> 00:25:04,226
and I do not intend
to repeat that error.
554
00:25:04,795 --> 00:25:06,235
Well, let's take a walk.
555
00:25:06,254 --> 00:25:09,052
There's a cute,
little park nearby.
556
00:25:10,033 --> 00:25:11,760
I suppose
557
00:25:11,785 --> 00:25:15,288
I had simply accomplished
everything I wanted to, and
558
00:25:15,307 --> 00:25:17,780
there seemed to be
little point in continuing.
559
00:25:17,793 --> 00:25:19,940
So what do you
want to do now?
560
00:25:20,603 --> 00:25:22,270
Well, that's the problem.
561
00:25:22,286 --> 00:25:23,701
I'm not sure.
562
00:25:24,221 --> 00:25:25,768
My kids are growing up.
563
00:25:25,781 --> 00:25:29,095
My days in an office
feel like a waste.
564
00:25:29,114 --> 00:25:33,355
I would like to turn my
attention to something...
565
00:25:34,086 --> 00:25:36,546
that would make
me feel useful,
566
00:25:37,169 --> 00:25:40,931
but for the life of me,
I cannot figure out what.
567
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,661
And there are not
many people--
568
00:25:45,471 --> 00:25:49,652
I mean, we were workplace proximity
acquaintances for many years,
569
00:25:49,665 --> 00:25:51,892
and so I thought--
I thought maybe...
570
00:25:51,898 --> 00:25:54,522
Say no more, you big softie.
571
00:25:54,535 --> 00:25:58,701
I'm gonna spend every waking moment
trying to figure this out for you.
572
00:25:59,824 --> 00:26:02,231
- You want to stay for dinner?
We're having steak. - Mm?
573
00:26:02,244 --> 00:26:03,831
But we're also hosting
several members
574
00:26:03,844 --> 00:26:06,189
of the House Subcommittee
on Foreign Affairs.
575
00:26:06,208 --> 00:26:08,665
I'll take that steak to go,
please and thank you.
576
00:26:14,450 --> 00:26:18,022
Hey, there you are.
Thanks for meeting me here.
577
00:26:18,041 --> 00:26:20,399
Well, if you'd have held them here
instead of that conference room,
578
00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:22,297
I would have come
to more meetings.
579
00:26:22,319 --> 00:26:23,872
I got to tell you, Leslie,
580
00:26:23,897 --> 00:26:28,634
establishing this national park right next
to Pawnee is quite an accomplishment.
581
00:26:29,399 --> 00:26:31,846
This is a fine piece
of land you saved.
582
00:26:31,858 --> 00:26:33,085
Thank you, Ron.
583
00:26:33,630 --> 00:26:35,050
You want to run it?
584
00:26:36,033 --> 00:26:38,593
The superintendent
of Bryce Canyon retired,
585
00:26:38,606 --> 00:26:41,305
and I convinced the superintendent
of this park to transfer,
586
00:26:41,330 --> 00:26:42,724
shuffled a few things around.
587
00:26:42,743 --> 00:26:44,911
The point is someone needs
to take care of this place now.
588
00:26:44,932 --> 00:26:46,363
Thought it should be you.
589
00:26:46,808 --> 00:26:48,174
I...
590
00:26:49,383 --> 00:26:52,410
Well, first of all, I would be
working for the federal government.
591
00:26:52,423 --> 00:26:54,940
Your job would be to walk
around the land alone,
592
00:26:54,953 --> 00:26:56,856
you'd live in the same town
you've always lived in,
593
00:26:56,869 --> 00:26:58,422
you'd work outside,
you'd talk to bears.
594
00:26:58,447 --> 00:26:59,334
Next argument?
595
00:26:59,347 --> 00:27:02,082
There must be dozens of
people gunning for this job.
596
00:27:02,101 --> 00:27:04,536
I wouldn't want you
to ruffle any feathers.
597
00:27:04,549 --> 00:27:05,816
Am I even qualified?
598
00:27:05,828 --> 00:27:08,518
Well, a few people might be
annoyed, but they'll get over it.
599
00:27:08,537 --> 00:27:11,950
And as far as your qualifications,
you're Ron Swanson.
600
00:27:12,868 --> 00:27:14,871
Stop being a dummy
and accept.
601
00:27:16,152 --> 00:27:18,166
- When do I start?
- Oh, today.
602
00:27:18,178 --> 00:27:19,386
I already
accepted for you.
603
00:27:19,398 --> 00:27:21,910
I still remember how
to forge your signature.
604
00:27:21,924 --> 00:27:23,509
Let's go meet your staff.
605
00:27:25,755 --> 00:27:27,895
Pawnee National Park rangers,
606
00:27:27,914 --> 00:27:32,097
this is Ron Swanson, your new
superintendent and boss.
607
00:27:32,933 --> 00:27:34,467
Rangers,
608
00:27:34,492 --> 00:27:37,358
my name is
Ronald Ulysses Swanson.
609
00:27:37,830 --> 00:27:40,428
Your job and mine
610
00:27:40,453 --> 00:27:43,507
is to walk this land and make
sure no one harms it.
611
00:27:44,010 --> 00:27:46,752
If you show up on time,
speak honestly,
612
00:27:46,765 --> 00:27:50,505
and treat everyone with fairness,
we will get along just fine.
613
00:27:51,205 --> 00:27:55,231
Though hopefully not too fine, as I'm
not looking for any new friends.
614
00:27:55,248 --> 00:27:56,562
End of speech.
615
00:27:56,923 --> 00:27:58,095
Well said.
616
00:28:01,715 --> 00:28:03,283
Thank you, Leslie.
617
00:28:04,450 --> 00:28:06,117
You're welcome, Ron.
618
00:28:10,789 --> 00:28:12,117
Okay.
619
00:28:12,865 --> 00:28:14,509
Time to go to work.
620
00:28:14,534 --> 00:28:16,996
[Buddy by Willie Nelson]
621
00:28:17,015 --> 00:28:19,455
♪ Laugh with me, buddy ♪
622
00:28:19,468 --> 00:28:22,025
♪ Jest with me, buddy ♪
623
00:28:22,949 --> 00:28:27,131
♪ Don't let her get
the best of me, buddy ♪
624
00:28:27,814 --> 00:28:30,376
♪ Don't ever let me start ♪
625
00:28:30,996 --> 00:28:33,315
♪ Feeling lonely ♪
626
00:28:33,340 --> 00:28:35,442
♪
627
00:28:39,913 --> 00:28:42,521
Well, I have to make
a couple more adjustments.
628
00:28:46,333 --> 00:28:47,900
Babe, I don't want
to seem dramatic,
629
00:28:47,921 --> 00:28:51,251
but I've just reconsidered every decision
that we've made over the last year,
630
00:28:51,264 --> 00:28:53,385
and I think we need to stay
in Pawnee forever.
631
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:54,559
- I know.
- [sighs]
632
00:28:54,573 --> 00:28:57,259
But we have to pick up the kids,
and we have a flight to catch.
633
00:28:57,277 --> 00:29:01,035
But when is this group of people
ever going to be all together again?
634
00:29:01,048 --> 00:29:02,542
That's all I want,
635
00:29:02,555 --> 00:29:05,201
all of these people in the same
place at the same time.
636
00:29:05,220 --> 00:29:07,399
It'll happen someday.
637
00:29:07,405 --> 00:29:09,183
What's gonna happen
between now and then?
638
00:29:09,208 --> 00:29:10,507
A lot,
639
00:29:11,145 --> 00:29:12,855
and it's all
gonna be great.
640
00:29:12,868 --> 00:29:15,068
- You promise?
- I promise.
641
00:29:21,740 --> 00:29:23,562
This is a nice house.
642
00:29:23,581 --> 00:29:25,561
You say that every
time we're here.
643
00:29:25,567 --> 00:29:28,866
I'm just trying to distract you, so
you don't have a nervous breakdown.
644
00:29:28,887 --> 00:29:30,654
I think I am
past that point.
645
00:29:30,675 --> 00:29:32,075
You don't have to worry
about me anymore.
646
00:29:32,094 --> 00:29:33,928
Hey, folks, welcome back.
647
00:29:33,941 --> 00:29:36,160
Great to have so many
good friends and colleagues.
648
00:29:36,177 --> 00:29:38,886
We're looking forward to a great
conversation and a good dinner.
649
00:29:38,900 --> 00:29:42,479
As usual, there's only
one rule: No shop talk.
650
00:29:42,491 --> 00:29:46,388
So if you want to discuss politics, you're
gonna have to wait until after dinner.
651
00:29:46,407 --> 00:29:47,728
I'm looking at you, Leslie.
652
00:29:47,741 --> 00:29:51,124
Okay, well, as long as we get
to play charades later.
653
00:29:51,139 --> 00:29:52,866
- [chuckles]
- Okay.
654
00:29:52,884 --> 00:29:56,253
Last time we played charades,
she spent 3 1/2 hours here.
655
00:29:56,258 --> 00:29:59,067
- You're just mad 'cause you lost.
- Oh, come on.
656
00:30:02,838 --> 00:30:04,906
Damn! That food was good.
657
00:30:04,926 --> 00:30:06,617
I've said it before,
and I'll say it again--
658
00:30:06,642 --> 00:30:09,739
Joe Biden knows his way
around a seafood risotto.
659
00:30:09,764 --> 00:30:11,094
You've said that before?
660
00:30:11,113 --> 00:30:14,246
Anyway, the point is, yes,
I do like working at Interior.
661
00:30:14,259 --> 00:30:16,896
I love it, but I'm always
looking for new challenges.
662
00:30:16,909 --> 00:30:18,516
Why do you ask?
663
00:30:18,529 --> 00:30:20,723
There's a rumor
the governor of Indiana
664
00:30:20,736 --> 00:30:23,653
isn't going to run again,
and my friends at the DNC
665
00:30:23,666 --> 00:30:27,004
are very interested in
you as a candidate.
666
00:30:27,023 --> 00:30:28,891
- For governor of Indiana?
- Mm-hmm.
667
00:30:29,218 --> 00:30:31,631
Someone's been reading
my kindergarten dream journal.
668
00:30:31,643 --> 00:30:32,664
So what do you think?
669
00:30:32,684 --> 00:30:34,616
I'll call you next week,
and we can talk about it?
670
00:30:34,628 --> 00:30:37,021
O-okay, great.
671
00:30:37,033 --> 00:30:40,309
Well, this is exciting.
I'm gonna take this energy,
672
00:30:40,317 --> 00:30:42,754
and I'm gonna go crush
Joe Biden in charades.
673
00:30:42,779 --> 00:30:44,926
Dr. Jill, let's pick teams.
674
00:30:47,104 --> 00:30:49,009
Oh. Move.
675
00:30:49,029 --> 00:30:51,256
Need the congressman.
This is time-sensitive.
676
00:30:51,269 --> 00:30:53,275
Hey, Jen, I didn't
know you were here.
677
00:30:53,292 --> 00:30:54,519
I'm everywhere.
678
00:30:54,525 --> 00:30:56,342
You want to be
governor of Indiana?
679
00:30:56,986 --> 00:30:58,959
- What?
- Colquitt's not gonna run again.
680
00:30:58,972 --> 00:31:01,064
It's a rumor for now,
but my gut says it's for real.
681
00:31:01,084 --> 00:31:02,451
You're the perfect candidate.
682
00:31:02,470 --> 00:31:04,615
Local hero, state
government experience,
683
00:31:04,621 --> 00:31:06,348
blah-blah-blah-
blah-blah-blah-blah.
684
00:31:06,369 --> 00:31:07,556
I mean, the only
potential problem
685
00:31:07,576 --> 00:31:10,268
is that devastatingly nerdy
"Cones of Dunshire" thing.
686
00:31:10,282 --> 00:31:12,228
Uh, that's a problem?
687
00:31:12,241 --> 00:31:15,675
I'm sorry, but it's the ninth-highest
selling multiplayer
688
00:31:15,688 --> 00:31:19,986
figurine-based strategy
fantasy sequel game in history.
689
00:31:20,902 --> 00:31:23,374
Please don't bail on me because
of what just happened.
690
00:31:26,087 --> 00:31:26,755
Both: So...
691
00:31:26,768 --> 00:31:30,007
I had a pretty interesting conversation
with Janet from the DNC tonight.
692
00:31:30,013 --> 00:31:31,058
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
693
00:31:31,073 --> 00:31:34,626
She said that Governor Colquitt
might be stepping down,
694
00:31:34,639 --> 00:31:38,080
and the DNC thinks that
I should run for governor.
695
00:31:38,086 --> 00:31:39,654
Oh, God.
696
00:31:39,679 --> 00:31:42,090
That... kind of sucks.
697
00:31:42,585 --> 00:31:44,005
Really? Why?
698
00:31:44,010 --> 00:31:45,800
No. I mean, that's--
699
00:31:45,813 --> 00:31:47,886
That's amazing. It's just,
700
00:31:48,383 --> 00:31:51,616
Jen Barkley kind of
approached me about running.
701
00:31:51,629 --> 00:31:53,890
Oh! Oh.
702
00:31:55,007 --> 00:31:57,955
Well, I mean, obviously...
703
00:31:59,862 --> 00:32:02,092
Right. Yeah, no, no.
I mean, obviously...
704
00:32:02,105 --> 00:32:04,281
Yeah, I mean, obviously...
705
00:32:07,357 --> 00:32:10,014
Okay, pros of you
running for governor:
706
00:32:10,033 --> 00:32:11,754
You would be
a great governor,
707
00:32:11,770 --> 00:32:13,617
we could make Pawnee
our home base,
708
00:32:13,630 --> 00:32:15,209
kids could go to school
in Pawnee,
709
00:32:15,218 --> 00:32:17,419
and it would be a huge
career move for you.
710
00:32:17,433 --> 00:32:20,584
The pros of me running for
governor are the same thing.
711
00:32:20,609 --> 00:32:22,089
- It's the same list.
- Right.
712
00:32:22,109 --> 00:32:26,395
The only con of you running would be
that I don't get to run and vice versa.
713
00:32:28,464 --> 00:32:30,324
Good. So we've solved it.
714
00:32:30,344 --> 00:32:31,878
[groans] Ugh. Look.
715
00:32:31,884 --> 00:32:34,153
We're going back
to Pawnee in a week.
716
00:32:34,166 --> 00:32:35,833
Why don't we just
talk about it after that?
717
00:32:35,853 --> 00:32:36,766
Good idea.
718
00:32:36,779 --> 00:32:38,897
Hey, maybe we can drop by
the old stomping ground,
719
00:32:38,909 --> 00:32:41,116
see how the Parks Department
has changed.
720
00:32:41,122 --> 00:32:42,116
I love it.
721
00:32:42,122 --> 00:32:43,834
Okay, are you ready?
722
00:32:43,853 --> 00:32:46,074
No, but we don't have
a choice, do we?
723
00:32:46,098 --> 00:32:47,214
[sighs]
724
00:32:47,239 --> 00:32:49,159
Kids, dinner!
725
00:32:49,179 --> 00:32:51,333
Hey, I'm gonna eat in my room
because I have to study.
726
00:32:51,339 --> 00:32:53,392
- Can we go to Bobby's house to watch
the game? - Hey, dude, stop.
727
00:32:53,404 --> 00:32:55,484
- Did you finish your homework?
- Yes, all of it. - Okay, don't forget to...
728
00:32:55,503 --> 00:32:57,403
- That's mine. - We'll be back by 8:00.
- Bye, Dad. Bye, Mom.
729
00:32:57,415 --> 00:32:58,852
- Bye.
- Okay, get your ice skates!
730
00:32:58,858 --> 00:33:01,418
- You have a lesson tomorrow!
- Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad. - Just-okay.
731
00:33:01,439 --> 00:33:03,042
Bye.
[door closes]
732
00:33:05,231 --> 00:33:07,799
- Want some broccoli?
- Ugh, no.
733
00:33:09,375 --> 00:33:10,809
You know, now that I'm here,
734
00:33:10,830 --> 00:33:13,697
it's giving me an idea
about this governor thing.
735
00:33:13,722 --> 00:33:17,254
Maybe we need fresh eyes, you
know, other people to weigh in.
736
00:33:17,273 --> 00:33:22,219
We should talk to Ron or Tom
or April or Donna or Andy even.
737
00:33:22,234 --> 00:33:24,380
- Sometimes he can be wise.
- Oh, good idea.
738
00:33:24,399 --> 00:33:25,663
Let's call them.
739
00:33:26,091 --> 00:33:27,731
Or you know what
else we could do?
740
00:33:27,737 --> 00:33:29,280
Just talk to them in person.
741
00:33:29,295 --> 00:33:32,359
All: Hey!
742
00:33:32,384 --> 00:33:34,188
Surprise!
743
00:33:34,813 --> 00:33:36,386
Oh, wow.
744
00:33:36,406 --> 00:33:39,893
It's what you wanted, right, everyone
in the same room at same time?
745
00:33:39,906 --> 00:33:41,722
I can't believe you.
746
00:33:42,427 --> 00:33:45,423
We're all here together
in the same room...
747
00:33:45,898 --> 00:33:47,590
in this room.
748
00:33:48,927 --> 00:33:51,695
I don't think I could
be happier right now.
749
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:52,834
Want to bet?
750
00:33:52,841 --> 00:33:55,016
- Hi.
- Oh, Ann's here!
751
00:33:55,041 --> 00:33:56,781
Ann. Ann's here!
752
00:33:56,794 --> 00:33:58,284
- Hi!
- Oh!
753
00:33:58,303 --> 00:33:59,583
- Hey.
- Hey, buddy.
754
00:33:59,603 --> 00:34:01,324
- How you doing?
- Oh, good.
755
00:34:01,343 --> 00:34:03,033
- You guys, Ann's here.
- Aww.
756
00:34:03,046 --> 00:34:04,589
- Should we move away from here?
- Yeah, yeah.
757
00:34:04,604 --> 00:34:07,355
- This could go on for some time.
- Ohh!
758
00:34:10,860 --> 00:34:12,494
Your hair looks amazing,
by the way.
759
00:34:12,507 --> 00:34:13,781
You look like
a cartoon princess.
760
00:34:13,793 --> 00:34:15,899
Oh, thank you! That's from
the pills I was telling you about.
761
00:34:15,912 --> 00:34:18,519
I took some of those, but I don't
know, they didn't do anything,
762
00:34:18,538 --> 00:34:19,786
and they kind of upset
my stomach.
763
00:34:19,798 --> 00:34:23,105
No, no, no. You're supposed to crack them
and leave them on your hair overnight,
764
00:34:23,130 --> 00:34:25,250
- not eat them.
- Oh, no.
765
00:34:25,269 --> 00:34:27,526
Well, it's confusing
'cause they're delicious.
766
00:34:27,919 --> 00:34:30,257
Because my first book
was such a smash,
767
00:34:30,270 --> 00:34:32,310
I had to come up with
a new angle for the follow-up.
768
00:34:32,324 --> 00:34:35,542
Then it hit me...
Failure 2.0: Failing to Fail.
769
00:34:35,554 --> 00:34:37,028
- Love it.
- How's everything?
770
00:34:37,048 --> 00:34:39,248
You properly treating yourself
out there in Seattle?
771
00:34:39,260 --> 00:34:42,428
In a manner of speaking. Joe and I spend
most of our time on the foundation.
772
00:34:42,434 --> 00:34:43,560
[sighs]
773
00:34:43,581 --> 00:34:45,461
I can't believe
you went nonprofit.
774
00:34:45,467 --> 00:34:47,624
I mean, I love you. You're
one of my best friends,
775
00:34:47,637 --> 00:34:49,976
but you have betrayed me
and everything we stand for.
776
00:34:49,989 --> 00:34:52,040
- You've changed.
- Maybe you're right.
777
00:34:52,053 --> 00:34:53,866
By the way, what
time is it?
778
00:34:53,886 --> 00:34:56,629
Oh, it looks like
it's half past spla-Dow!
779
00:34:56,631 --> 00:34:57,866
Both: What?
780
00:34:57,891 --> 00:34:59,245
I take it all back.
781
00:34:59,259 --> 00:35:01,413
That's a lot of diamonds. Give me,
give me, give me, give me, give me!
782
00:35:02,196 --> 00:35:04,960
Hey, Oliver. Hey, Leslie.
783
00:35:04,985 --> 00:35:06,765
- Hello, Ann.
- Hi, April.
784
00:35:06,778 --> 00:35:09,212
Your kids are, like,
surprisingly awesome.
785
00:35:09,231 --> 00:35:13,678
- Thank you. - Did you use an egg donor
or give Chris a hall pass for a night?
786
00:35:13,684 --> 00:35:16,292
Once again, they are my
biological children.
787
00:35:16,304 --> 00:35:18,362
Once again, I don't
believe you.
788
00:35:18,714 --> 00:35:22,181
Ann, you rainbow-infused
space unicorn.
789
00:35:22,194 --> 00:35:25,855
Ann, you beautiful,
sassy mannequin come to life.
790
00:35:25,868 --> 00:35:28,528
Ann, you opalescent
tree shark.
791
00:35:28,534 --> 00:35:31,479
- Leslie, you are the master
of the metaphor. - Oh.
792
00:35:31,491 --> 00:35:34,364
I recently compared her
to a nutrient-rich chia seed.
793
00:35:34,905 --> 00:35:36,939
- What's that thing on your wrist?
- Oh!
794
00:35:37,708 --> 00:35:39,988
[electronic tones]
795
00:35:40,007 --> 00:35:41,807
You are extremely healthy.
796
00:35:42,353 --> 00:35:45,054
I do that literally
50 times a day.
797
00:35:45,075 --> 00:35:47,897
Aren't you afraid that thing
might give you cancer?
798
00:35:48,405 --> 00:35:49,898
Well, I am now.
799
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:52,027
Well, there he is.
800
00:35:52,038 --> 00:35:54,797
Chip Traeger, you
old son of a gun.
801
00:35:54,818 --> 00:35:56,665
Andy, it's Chris.
802
00:35:56,677 --> 00:35:57,984
Is it?
803
00:35:58,481 --> 00:36:00,182
Ha! Huh.
804
00:36:00,207 --> 00:36:02,794
Hello, Jack. Ron Swanson.
805
00:36:03,487 --> 00:36:04,754
Strong handshake.
806
00:36:04,767 --> 00:36:06,647
- Well done, you two.
- Thank you.
807
00:36:06,660 --> 00:36:08,629
So are you gonna
have another one?
808
00:36:08,635 --> 00:36:10,408
Um...
809
00:36:10,417 --> 00:36:11,718
[gasps]
810
00:36:12,272 --> 00:36:14,283
- Shh.
- Shh.
811
00:36:15,302 --> 00:36:17,536
'Cause-- 'cause
he's sleeping?
812
00:36:18,339 --> 00:36:19,689
How can you tell?
813
00:36:19,702 --> 00:36:22,965
Oh, it's a common misconception that
the Oculus holds all of the power.
814
00:36:22,978 --> 00:36:24,398
It's actually
the Lamplighter.
815
00:36:24,411 --> 00:36:26,119
Ann! Oh, my God!
It's happening.
816
00:36:26,139 --> 00:36:28,449
It's totally happening.
Our kids are falling in love.
817
00:36:29,103 --> 00:36:30,429
This is good.
Okay, remember.
818
00:36:30,442 --> 00:36:32,732
If this is ever gonna work, we
have to pretend to disapprove.
819
00:36:32,753 --> 00:36:34,313
Yeah, right, good call.
820
00:36:34,735 --> 00:36:36,053
Hey!
821
00:36:36,072 --> 00:36:37,561
- Leslie, no.
- Oh.
822
00:36:38,185 --> 00:36:39,453
Who cares?
823
00:36:40,327 --> 00:36:42,760
Ann Arbor, Michigan,
is literally
824
00:36:42,785 --> 00:36:45,007
the greatest city that
I have ever lived in,
825
00:36:45,032 --> 00:36:47,612
but Pawnee is better,
so we're moving back.
826
00:36:47,625 --> 00:36:48,672
- That's great.
- Yeah.
827
00:36:48,691 --> 00:36:50,740
I'm gonna run admissions
at Indiana.
828
00:36:50,753 --> 00:36:52,596
I'm trading Wolverines
for Hoosiers.
829
00:36:52,610 --> 00:36:55,230
Well, you're getting
the better end of that deal.
830
00:36:55,964 --> 00:36:57,010
Tom!
831
00:36:57,023 --> 00:37:00,523
I took the quiz in your book
about what kind of person I am.
832
00:37:00,542 --> 00:37:01,763
I'm a "Ron."
833
00:37:01,782 --> 00:37:03,383
Ha! I'm usually a "Tom,"
834
00:37:03,403 --> 00:37:05,217
but sometimes I'm a "Donna."
835
00:37:05,229 --> 00:37:07,412
Last time I took it,
I was a "Tom."
836
00:37:07,435 --> 00:37:08,655
What?
837
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:09,860
No.
838
00:37:09,865 --> 00:37:12,973
No, no, no!
Take it again!
839
00:37:12,979 --> 00:37:14,981
I got to go
recalibrate the quiz.
840
00:37:17,136 --> 00:37:20,322
♪ Things I really
want to do ♪
841
00:37:21,603 --> 00:37:25,615
So did anyone have any insights on our
"running for governor" situation?
842
00:37:25,621 --> 00:37:27,298
I've been so busy
catching up with everyone,
843
00:37:27,304 --> 00:37:29,088
- I haven't had a chance to ask them.
- Yeah, me neither.
844
00:37:29,094 --> 00:37:32,161
Okay, here's what I think. I hate
when we're on opposite sides.
845
00:37:32,180 --> 00:37:33,601
It stinks.
846
00:37:33,620 --> 00:37:36,002
Plus, if one of us runs, it
doesn't mean we're gonna win.
847
00:37:36,015 --> 00:37:39,736
Right, and it's not like this is
the only career option for either of us.
848
00:37:39,755 --> 00:37:41,952
So all that matters
is that we are good.
849
00:37:41,972 --> 00:37:44,816
Right, which is why
I have an idea.
850
00:37:44,836 --> 00:37:46,943
I think we should
flip a coin.
851
00:37:46,968 --> 00:37:49,066
I mean it. Let's literally
flip a coin,
852
00:37:49,091 --> 00:37:51,938
because whoever runs is
gonna do a great job,
853
00:37:51,963 --> 00:37:56,203
and whoever doesn't run is gonna
be right alongside the other one,
854
00:37:56,216 --> 00:37:58,878
offering advice and support
and whatever they need.
855
00:37:58,897 --> 00:38:01,550
So it doesn't matter.
So let's flip a coin.
856
00:38:01,569 --> 00:38:03,655
Okay, you, Leslie Knope,
857
00:38:03,662 --> 00:38:08,278
the queen of planning and
binders and pro-and-con lists,
858
00:38:08,303 --> 00:38:11,241
you want to leave
this to chance?
859
00:38:11,266 --> 00:38:14,277
Yes, because
whatever's next,
860
00:38:14,302 --> 00:38:16,303
you and I are
in it together.
861
00:38:17,052 --> 00:38:19,491
So let's go tell everybody,
and they can participate,
862
00:38:19,504 --> 00:38:21,033
and they can sign the coin,
and then, you know,
863
00:38:21,058 --> 00:38:23,831
the coin will eventually make
its way into the Smithsonian.
864
00:38:26,405 --> 00:38:28,532
Okay, everybody,
gather around.
865
00:38:28,545 --> 00:38:31,142
First of all, I just have to say
that all of you in the same room
866
00:38:31,154 --> 00:38:32,837
at the same time
with your children here,
867
00:38:32,862 --> 00:38:34,159
it's like it's the greatest thing
868
00:38:34,171 --> 00:38:36,101
that's ever happened
in the history of America.
869
00:38:36,107 --> 00:38:38,627
And secondly, Ben
and I have an announcement.
870
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,020
Leslie's running
for governor of Indiana.
871
00:38:41,039 --> 00:38:42,264
All: What?
872
00:38:43,860 --> 00:38:45,547
Bully for you, Knope.
873
00:38:45,552 --> 00:38:46,601
That's amazing.
874
00:38:46,626 --> 00:38:48,393
Yeah, she got
approached by the DNC,
875
00:38:48,409 --> 00:38:50,549
and they think she has
a great shot to win.
876
00:38:50,561 --> 00:38:53,390
Indiana native,
supremely qualified,
877
00:38:53,403 --> 00:38:56,107
and she wrote that she
wanted to be governor
878
00:38:56,126 --> 00:38:58,607
in her kindergarten
dream journal.
879
00:38:59,286 --> 00:39:00,865
Just makes sense.
880
00:39:05,173 --> 00:39:06,429
So I'm running for governor.
881
00:39:06,442 --> 00:39:08,089
All: Yeah!
882
00:39:08,102 --> 00:39:11,309
Ben is gonna be running my campaign
because he's a super genius,
883
00:39:11,323 --> 00:39:16,634
and he's got a tight, compact, little
body like an Italian sports car.
884
00:39:17,310 --> 00:39:19,697
But right now I'd like
to make a toast.
885
00:39:19,709 --> 00:39:22,560
When we worked
here together,
886
00:39:23,029 --> 00:39:26,802
we fought, scratched,
and clawed
887
00:39:26,816 --> 00:39:29,670
to make people's lives
a tiny bit better.
888
00:39:29,997 --> 00:39:31,910
That's what public
service is all about--
889
00:39:31,924 --> 00:39:35,274
Small, incremental
change every day.
890
00:39:35,286 --> 00:39:37,416
Teddy Roosevelt once said,
891
00:39:37,431 --> 00:39:40,563
"Far and away, the best prize
that life has to offer
892
00:39:40,569 --> 00:39:44,260
is a chance to work hard
at work worth doing."
893
00:39:44,285 --> 00:39:48,670
And I would add that what
makes work worth doing
894
00:39:48,695 --> 00:39:51,074
is getting to do it with
people that you love.
895
00:39:51,705 --> 00:39:54,118
I started my career
more than 30 years ago
896
00:39:54,131 --> 00:39:57,747
in the Parks and Recreation Department
right here in Pawnee, Indiana.
897
00:39:58,162 --> 00:40:00,442
I've had a lot
of different jobs
898
00:40:00,461 --> 00:40:02,924
including two terms
as your governor,
899
00:40:02,937 --> 00:40:07,280
and soon a new, unknown
challenge awaits me,
900
00:40:07,286 --> 00:40:11,213
which to me, even
now, is thrilling
901
00:40:11,238 --> 00:40:12,638
because I love the work.
902
00:40:12,644 --> 00:40:15,427
Not to say that public
service isn't sexy,
903
00:40:15,441 --> 00:40:17,265
because it definitely is,
904
00:40:17,817 --> 00:40:19,991
but that's not
why we do it.
905
00:40:20,774 --> 00:40:25,468
We do it because we get the chance
to work hard at work worth doing...
906
00:40:26,133 --> 00:40:29,243
alongside a team
of people we love.
907
00:40:29,802 --> 00:40:34,257
So I thank those people
who've walked with me,
908
00:40:34,888 --> 00:40:36,926
and I thank you
for this honor.
909
00:40:37,750 --> 00:40:40,151
Now, go find your team,
and get to work.
910
00:40:40,166 --> 00:40:42,234
[applause]
911
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,047
In addition to Governor
Knope's honorary doctorate
912
00:40:49,066 --> 00:40:50,889
from the School
of Public Policy,
913
00:40:50,902 --> 00:40:54,794
in recognition of all she's done
for the people of Indiana,
914
00:40:54,813 --> 00:40:58,600
the campus library will
henceforth bear her name.
915
00:40:58,625 --> 00:41:01,276
[applause]
916
00:41:01,301 --> 00:41:04,354
[under breath]
A fucking library?
917
00:41:07,533 --> 00:41:10,454
Yeah, that should do it.
The swing is fixed.
918
00:41:10,474 --> 00:41:12,155
- Yeah!
- All right.
919
00:41:12,658 --> 00:41:15,031
Well, there you
have it, sir.
920
00:41:15,045 --> 00:41:19,433
Another problem solved by the hard
work of dedicated public servants.
921
00:41:20,159 --> 00:41:21,345
Okay, great.
922
00:41:22,095 --> 00:41:23,236
Bye.
923
00:41:23,790 --> 00:41:25,353
Yeah, that's about right.
924
00:41:25,852 --> 00:41:27,544
Okay, well...
925
00:41:27,954 --> 00:41:29,377
[sighs]
926
00:41:30,566 --> 00:41:32,278
Hang on. Gayle
made me promise
927
00:41:32,284 --> 00:41:34,503
to get a quick picture
just for old times' sake.
928
00:41:34,516 --> 00:41:37,096
Good idea. Garry
had a good idea.
929
00:41:37,815 --> 00:41:39,598
Oh, the lighting's all
wrong.
930
00:41:39,623 --> 00:41:41,863
I'm gonna send you a glamour shot.
Just Photoshop me in later.
931
00:41:41,876 --> 00:41:44,796
I'm not gonna show up in that picture
anyway because I'm a vampire.
932
00:41:44,810 --> 00:41:47,176
Hey, babe, for this picture,
should I be Burt Macklin,
933
00:41:47,189 --> 00:41:49,783
Johnny Karate,
or my new character,
934
00:41:49,806 --> 00:41:52,280
Sergeant Thunderfist, MD?
935
00:41:52,287 --> 00:41:54,757
- Where did you get that?
- I found it in the sandbox.
936
00:41:54,770 --> 00:41:56,010
Ew!
937
00:41:56,026 --> 00:41:57,173
Go Macklin.
938
00:41:57,192 --> 00:41:59,203
- Macklin's the hottest.
- Get on with it.
939
00:41:59,209 --> 00:42:01,638
I can't hold this smile forever.
I look ridiculous.
940
00:42:01,651 --> 00:42:03,713
Okay, hang on.
Okay.
941
00:42:03,738 --> 00:42:06,682
[camera beeping]
942
00:42:06,689 --> 00:42:08,418
You ready, babe?
943
00:42:09,651 --> 00:42:10,854
Yes.
944
00:42:12,902 --> 00:42:14,064
I'm ready.
945
00:42:14,078 --> 00:42:15,715
[End of the Line
by Traveling Wilburys]
946
00:42:15,722 --> 00:42:18,525
♪ Well it's all right ♪
947
00:42:19,031 --> 00:42:20,865
♪ Riding around in the breeze ♪
948
00:42:20,871 --> 00:42:23,897
♪ Well it's all right ♪
949
00:42:24,566 --> 00:42:26,574
♪ If you live
the life you please ♪
950
00:42:26,580 --> 00:42:29,345
♪ Well it's all right ♪
951
00:42:29,370 --> 00:42:30,389
[laughter]
952
00:42:30,402 --> 00:42:32,282
♪ Doing the best you can ♪
953
00:42:32,295 --> 00:42:35,308
♪ Well it's all right ♪
954
00:42:36,038 --> 00:42:37,983
♪ As long as you lend a hand ♪
955
00:42:37,990 --> 00:42:42,167
[laughter]
956
00:42:47,988 --> 00:42:51,090
That is a series wrap on
Parks and Recreation.
957
00:42:51,104 --> 00:42:58,104
Sync by Alice | Thank you honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com