1
00:00:01,696 --> 00:00:03,229
I am dead serious.
2
00:00:03,281 --> 00:00:05,931
From now on, no eggs,
no pigs' feet,
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,400
nothing pickled,
4
00:00:07,468 --> 00:00:08,901
or, so help me God,
5
00:00:08,970 --> 00:00:11,370
I will put that refrigerator
out by the curb.
6
00:00:11,439 --> 00:00:12,872
What? Oh, come on!
7
00:00:12,940 --> 00:00:14,663
Those weren't pigs' feet.
8
00:00:15,410 --> 00:00:18,644
Whatever feet, idiot!
9
00:00:18,713 --> 00:00:20,413
Now then, we have an assignment,
10
00:00:20,481 --> 00:00:22,214
but I won't be joining you,
11
00:00:22,283 --> 00:00:24,583
so if you'll direct your
goldfish-like attention spans
12
00:00:24,652 --> 00:00:25,985
to Mr. Slater..
13
00:00:26,054 --> 00:00:28,788
Just Slater,
for the "infinitieth" time.
14
00:00:28,856 --> 00:00:30,322
Watch it. Shut up.
15
00:00:30,391 --> 00:00:31,557
Burn. Shut up.
16
00:00:31,626 --> 00:00:33,159
Burn.
17
00:00:33,227 --> 00:00:34,326
Okay..
18
00:00:34,395 --> 00:00:35,516
The young man in the monitor
19
00:00:35,563 --> 00:00:37,263
is Crown prince Fawad Fawaz,
20
00:00:37,331 --> 00:00:39,432
heir to the throne
of the Kingdom of Durhan.
21
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,567
He just got a summer internship
on Wall Street..
22
00:00:41,636 --> 00:00:43,436
Ugh, affirmative action..
23
00:00:43,504 --> 00:00:47,440
And so he's in the city looking
for suitable accommodations,
24
00:00:47,508 --> 00:00:49,442
something befitting
the world's richest prince.
25
00:00:49,510 --> 00:00:51,377
Oh, money. Holy shit.
26
00:00:51,446 --> 00:00:53,312
And so what,
he needs bodyguards?
27
00:00:53,381 --> 00:00:56,498
Mm, no,
I think he's all set there..
28
00:00:57,885 --> 00:00:59,351
Which brings us to my problem,
29
00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:01,654
which, coincidentally,
is also your problem.
30
00:01:01,723 --> 00:01:04,090
Without the prince or his
security team's knowledge,
31
00:01:04,158 --> 00:01:07,093
I need to scan any and all
of his mobile phones,
32
00:01:07,161 --> 00:01:08,661
any and all flash drives,
33
00:01:08,730 --> 00:01:10,996
both of his handprints,
and both of his retinas.
34
00:01:11,065 --> 00:01:12,598
And why?
35
00:01:12,667 --> 00:01:14,333
Oh, sorry, let me back up.
36
00:01:14,402 --> 00:01:16,335
This is part of
operation because I said so.
37
00:01:16,404 --> 00:01:18,437
Ya know what? I'm sure I do.
38
00:01:18,506 --> 00:01:21,340
For example,
this is a tranquilizer gun,
39
00:01:21,409 --> 00:01:23,075
with which I will dart
the prince,
40
00:01:23,144 --> 00:01:25,478
and then we'll have 60
seconds to do all the scans
41
00:01:25,546 --> 00:01:27,480
before he wakes up
with no side effects
42
00:01:27,548 --> 00:01:29,615
and no memory at all
of the previous few minutes.
43
00:01:29,684 --> 00:01:33,052
Bullshit, the CIA
doesn't have that technolo..
44
00:01:33,121 --> 00:01:35,221
But before
I can tranquilize him,
45
00:01:35,289 --> 00:01:36,822
I need access
to the prince, so..
46
00:01:36,891 --> 00:01:38,457
Uh, and just so we're clear,
47
00:01:38,526 --> 00:01:41,013
he's the prince of Durhan,
an allied country.
48
00:01:41,051 --> 00:01:43,785
Yeah, I'm gonna refer you back
to operation said so.
49
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:46,154
Everybody else, these are
your mission dossiers.
50
00:01:46,223 --> 00:01:47,655
Read them on the way
to Tunt Manor.
51
00:01:47,724 --> 00:01:50,189
Tunt Manor? That's my house!
52
00:01:50,309 --> 00:01:51,449
I know!
53
00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:53,445
And the prince is on his way there.
54
00:01:53,565 --> 00:01:56,012
So we're going there,
and because you know the property,
55
00:01:56,132 --> 00:01:57,832
you'll be posing
as the listing agent!
56
00:01:59,736 --> 00:02:01,569
Shut up! Burn!
57
00:02:01,638 --> 00:02:03,738
Well, just in case
I don't read this..
58
00:02:03,807 --> 00:02:05,406
What are the rest of us
gonna be doing?
59
00:02:05,475 --> 00:02:08,443
Some of you will be assisting
me and/or Miss Tunt.
60
00:02:08,511 --> 00:02:11,279
The rest of you will be distracting
the prince's security team
61
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:12,580
and/or his mother..
62
00:02:12,649 --> 00:02:14,482
Her Majesty, Queen Yasmin Fawaz.
63
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:17,085
Whoa, shit. Damn.
64
00:02:18,688 --> 00:02:19,954
Seriously?
65
00:02:20,023 --> 00:02:21,890
What? I just heard you get hard.
66
00:02:21,958 --> 00:02:23,324
Ew.
67
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,826
They were goat feet,
68
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,561
and you threw 'em out!
69
00:02:26,630 --> 00:02:28,496
Ah, damn you!
70
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:31,787
God damn you all to hell!
71
00:02:33,270 --> 00:02:36,437
So.. the van's downstairs.
72
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:20,789
Turn around.
Now spread your arms.
73
00:03:21,219 --> 00:03:23,519
I do apologize for this
necessary precaution,
74
00:03:23,588 --> 00:03:25,955
Miss.. Oh, uh..
75
00:03:26,024 --> 00:03:27,657
What do I always tell you?
76
00:03:27,726 --> 00:03:28,925
Never apologize.
77
00:03:28,994 --> 00:03:30,693
It is a sign of weakness.
78
00:03:30,762 --> 00:03:31,961
Yes, mother.
79
00:03:32,030 --> 00:03:34,264
So, Miss.. Uh.. Escrow.
80
00:03:34,332 --> 00:03:36,599
My last name is Escrow. Really?
81
00:03:36,668 --> 00:03:40,370
Yes, and trust me,
I've heard all the jokes.
82
00:03:40,438 --> 00:03:42,639
Oh, boy.
83
00:03:42,707 --> 00:03:45,308
Okay, chinstrap, let me see what
we got on the other cameras.
84
00:03:45,377 --> 00:03:47,710
Bathroom one, bathroom
two, bathroom three,
85
00:03:47,779 --> 00:03:49,545
bathroom four, bathroom five..
86
00:03:49,614 --> 00:03:51,029
Are all the cameras
in bathrooms?
87
00:03:51,149 --> 00:03:52,649
No. Just my faves.
88
00:03:52,717 --> 00:03:56,386
Bathroom six,
bathroom seven, bathr..
89
00:03:56,454 --> 00:03:58,033
Shoulda gotten some poison ones.
90
00:03:58,153 --> 00:04:00,857
Okay, people, I want you in
position in five minutes.
91
00:04:00,925 --> 00:04:04,260
You should've thought of that before
you picked these ridiculous costumes,
92
00:04:04,329 --> 00:04:06,496
and why are your plans
always so complicated?
93
00:04:06,564 --> 00:04:10,099
You're like Wile E. Coyote with access
to predator drones. Out.
94
00:04:10,168 --> 00:04:12,402
I think these uniforms
are awesome!
95
00:04:12,470 --> 00:04:13,791
Here, let me get
some pics of you!
96
00:04:13,805 --> 00:04:15,505
To masturbate to?
97
00:04:15,573 --> 00:04:18,374
Pfff, please.
98
00:04:18,443 --> 00:04:19,742
Please?
99
00:04:19,811 --> 00:04:21,911
Can somebody explain
to me why the CIA
100
00:04:21,980 --> 00:04:23,980
is spying on American allies?
101
00:04:24,049 --> 00:04:26,482
Well, Ray, there were these
things called dinosaurs,
102
00:04:26,551 --> 00:04:29,052
and when they died,
they turned into oil, somehow,
103
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,154
and that's what
your car uses for food.
104
00:04:31,222 --> 00:04:32,355
Thanks, Al.
105
00:04:32,424 --> 00:04:33,823
Al? Jazeera!
106
00:04:33,892 --> 00:04:35,725
Look, for all we know,
Slater wants all that stuff
107
00:04:35,794 --> 00:04:38,861
because the CIA is trying
to protect the royal family.
108
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,897
From what? Cabals.
109
00:04:40,965 --> 00:04:41,998
What?
110
00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:44,033
Yes, sinister cabals!
111
00:04:44,102 --> 00:04:46,369
I bet the royal palace
is lousy with them.
112
00:04:46,438 --> 00:04:48,905
So instead of trying to
undermine the mission..
113
00:04:48,973 --> 00:04:50,940
Don't undermine it!
114
00:04:51,009 --> 00:04:52,709
What the heck got into him?
115
00:04:52,777 --> 00:04:55,411
More like what he wants
to get into,
116
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,213
which, obviously,
the queen's vagina.
117
00:04:57,282 --> 00:04:59,048
Seriously?
118
00:04:59,117 --> 00:05:00,616
Or wherever else.
119
00:05:00,685 --> 00:05:02,585
Although she didn't look
like a Back Dorothy.
120
00:05:02,654 --> 00:05:05,488
Well we'll just see
about that..
121
00:05:05,557 --> 00:05:07,690
The part about Archer
having sex with the queen,
122
00:05:07,759 --> 00:05:10,927
not the part about the queen
being into anal sex. Who knows?
123
00:05:10,995 --> 00:05:12,929
Wow. This is eerily similar
124
00:05:12,997 --> 00:05:16,099
to my spec script for Masterpiece Theater.
Your what?
125
00:05:16,167 --> 00:05:18,686
Well, I guess
technically it's fanfic.
126
00:05:18,806 --> 00:05:22,436
Bringing us to the formal
dining room, which seats 80,
127
00:05:22,472 --> 00:05:25,671
with plenty of room
for servants to skulk around,
128
00:05:25,791 --> 00:05:28,478
Ladling turtle soup
into sterling silver bowls,
129
00:05:28,546 --> 00:05:32,031
their sullen eyes downcast
as grandmamá makes a joke
130
00:05:32,117 --> 00:05:33,366
about chopping off their hands
131
00:05:33,451 --> 00:05:35,484
if they spill
even a single drop,
132
00:05:35,537 --> 00:05:39,322
like we used to do
in the Belgian Congo.
133
00:05:39,391 --> 00:05:41,591
Hm. And how about
that chandelier, huh?
134
00:05:41,659 --> 00:05:44,660
But I wouldn't wanna dust it!
135
00:05:44,729 --> 00:05:46,729
An opinion apparently
shared by the staff
136
00:05:46,798 --> 00:05:48,297
about the rest the furnishings.
137
00:05:48,366 --> 00:05:50,233
If this were my palace, I'd..
138
00:05:50,301 --> 00:05:52,502
What did I tell you, wench? Ow!
139
00:05:52,570 --> 00:05:54,103
Stop right there! Who are you?
140
00:05:54,172 --> 00:05:56,005
I am.. Butler.
141
00:05:56,074 --> 00:05:57,273
The butler.
142
00:05:57,342 --> 00:06:00,510
Wait, your name is Butler, or..?
143
00:06:00,578 --> 00:06:03,946
Both! And I've heard every joke!
144
00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:05,915
My sincere apologies,
Your Majesty,
145
00:06:05,984 --> 00:06:07,750
for the deplorable state
of the house.
146
00:06:07,819 --> 00:06:09,019
Good help is difficult to find,
147
00:06:09,053 --> 00:06:11,120
as I'm sure
Your Majesty well knows.
148
00:06:11,189 --> 00:06:13,256
What I know, you impudent toad,
149
00:06:13,324 --> 00:06:15,658
is that if a servant dared
speak to me in my palace,
150
00:06:15,727 --> 00:06:18,561
I would have him sewn into
a burlap sack filled with rats,
151
00:06:18,630 --> 00:06:20,163
and the sack thrown
into the river.
152
00:06:20,231 --> 00:06:22,398
Burn!
153
00:06:22,467 --> 00:06:24,600
Well slapped, Your Majesty.
154
00:06:24,669 --> 00:06:26,469
Come! Let's get this over with
155
00:06:26,538 --> 00:06:29,172
so I can bathe off
all this filth and grime.
156
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,007
Oh, my God,
can you believe this?
157
00:06:31,075 --> 00:06:32,275
What? What?
158
00:06:32,343 --> 00:06:34,811
My commission is gonna be huge!
159
00:06:34,879 --> 00:06:36,612
Come, you foolish woman!
160
00:06:36,681 --> 00:06:38,347
Coming, My Majesty!
161
00:06:38,416 --> 00:06:40,683
Now, is anyone allergic
to ocelots?
162
00:06:40,752 --> 00:06:42,118
Oh, that's right, Babou!
163
00:06:42,187 --> 00:06:45,121
Ow, man,
what a hate-slappin' bitch.
164
00:06:45,190 --> 00:06:47,990
Yeah, I gotta have sex with her.
Wait, what?
165
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:50,860
But I thought you and Lana
were kinda, you know..
166
00:06:50,929 --> 00:06:52,695
Kinda, you know, what?
What'd she say?
167
00:06:52,764 --> 00:06:55,531
Well, nothing, but..
See? Classic Lana!
168
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,700
So what, you're gonna try
to bang the queen
169
00:06:57,769 --> 00:06:59,068
just to make Lana jealous?
170
00:06:59,137 --> 00:07:01,037
No. That'll just be icing
171
00:07:01,105 --> 00:07:05,208
- on what I assume will be an extremely moist cake..
- Blorp.
172
00:07:05,276 --> 00:07:07,009
Because I've had sex
with a baroness,
173
00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:10,313
a marquise, a vicomtesse,
the two princess sisters,
174
00:07:10,381 --> 00:07:11,814
um, a duchess..
175
00:07:11,883 --> 00:07:13,983
Your mom's dog? No.
176
00:07:14,052 --> 00:07:15,885
The wife of a duke?
177
00:07:15,954 --> 00:07:18,454
Yes, but I've never had sex
with a queen.
178
00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:22,492
Yasmin would be my greatest
masterpiece, Pam, my.. hang on..
179
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,627
Moaning Lisa.
180
00:07:24,696 --> 00:07:26,963
Dammit, I was gonna say that.
181
00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:28,898
Girl with a pearl necklace.
182
00:07:28,967 --> 00:07:32,568
The potato eaters.
183
00:07:32,637 --> 00:07:34,215
Stop it! But wait.
184
00:07:34,335 --> 00:07:37,458
Why are you telling me
your plan to not make Lana jealous?
185
00:07:37,578 --> 00:07:39,704
I dunno, I.. Oh, my god, Pam,
186
00:07:39,824 --> 00:07:41,224
I think you
might be my best friend.
187
00:07:41,312 --> 00:07:42,512
You're my best friend!
188
00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:43,746
What about Cheryl?
189
00:07:43,815 --> 00:07:45,848
You're my second best friend!
190
00:07:45,917 --> 00:07:47,717
Oh, my God.. What?
191
00:07:47,785 --> 00:07:50,186
Eh, I thought by now
I'd be doing a lot better
192
00:07:50,255 --> 00:07:52,054
in the old friend department.
193
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:54,056
I thought by now I'd be dead.
194
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,591
Well, day's not over..
195
00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:56,660
Right?
196
00:07:56,661 --> 00:07:57,894
He what?
197
00:07:57,962 --> 00:07:59,295
I mean.. so what?
198
00:07:59,364 --> 00:08:01,364
Well, I just figured
you'd wanna know.
199
00:08:01,432 --> 00:08:02,999
No, you just figured
it would make me jealous,
200
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:04,534
but, spoiler alert,
201
00:08:04,602 --> 00:08:06,602
I don't give a shit
who Archer bangs.
202
00:08:06,671 --> 00:08:09,171
Well, yeah, no, but if you did,
203
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,741
and you wanted
to make Archer jealous..
204
00:08:11,809 --> 00:08:13,175
Then I'd go break my pussy off
205
00:08:13,244 --> 00:08:15,044
on that hot little
prince's merguez.
206
00:08:15,113 --> 00:08:18,047
Exactly, that's what I'm..
Wait, what?
207
00:08:18,116 --> 00:08:19,682
Which, come to think of it,
208
00:08:19,751 --> 00:08:21,918
would be what my vagina
refers to as a "win-win."
209
00:08:21,986 --> 00:08:23,352
But wait a minute!
Love to, can't,
210
00:08:23,421 --> 00:08:24,654
got a pussy to break.
211
00:08:26,024 --> 00:08:28,631
Well, that backfired.
212
00:08:29,761 --> 00:08:31,494
Or did it?
213
00:08:33,131 --> 00:08:35,531
Yes, yes, it most certainly did.
214
00:08:39,873 --> 00:08:41,667
Okay, people, listen up.
215
00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:42,970
If you're not in position,
216
00:08:43,050 --> 00:08:44,720
you'd better get there
A.S.A.P. because..
217
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:46,551
Uh, what's that?
218
00:08:47,806 --> 00:08:48,880
Because right about now,
219
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,838
Cheryl should be leading
the Durhanis into..
220
00:08:50,911 --> 00:08:53,878
The world-renowned conservatory!
221
00:08:53,947 --> 00:08:56,514
Where Gillette should be ready
with a transdermal solution
222
00:08:56,583 --> 00:08:58,650
of the most powerful
laxative known to man.
223
00:08:58,718 --> 00:09:01,052
I.. dammit,
I had something for this..
224
00:09:01,121 --> 00:09:03,254
Wait, was it
something about Dukes?
225
00:09:03,323 --> 00:09:05,757
The Tunt Conservatory
is home to the world's
226
00:09:05,825 --> 00:09:08,159
second largest collection
of carnivorous plants,
227
00:09:08,228 --> 00:09:09,694
the shame of which drove
228
00:09:09,763 --> 00:09:11,496
the current owners'
eccentric great-uncle,
229
00:09:11,564 --> 00:09:13,665
Theophilus Tunt,
to commit suicide.
230
00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:15,300
Or maybe it was
just the syphilis.
231
00:09:15,368 --> 00:09:16,701
We may never know,
232
00:09:16,770 --> 00:09:18,136
and, frankly,
it's none of our b..
233
00:09:18,204 --> 00:09:19,904
Bathroom? What?
234
00:09:19,973 --> 00:09:21,372
I'm sorry, Your Majesty,
235
00:09:21,441 --> 00:09:23,374
I don't know what's wrong,
but I need to..
236
00:09:23,443 --> 00:09:24,742
Mother! Silence!
237
00:09:24,811 --> 00:09:26,344
How dare you?
238
00:09:26,413 --> 00:09:29,814
Indeed.
Well slapped, His Majesty.
239
00:09:29,883 --> 00:09:32,050
Now, if you will
follow me, into the..
240
00:09:32,118 --> 00:09:34,519
Bathroom!
Please, Your Majesty! I cannot wait!
241
00:09:34,587 --> 00:09:37,221
I told you idiots that wasn't
the real famous Ray's!
242
00:09:37,290 --> 00:09:40,158
A thousand pardons.
Foolish woman! Where is a bathroom?
243
00:09:40,226 --> 00:09:43,027
Where isn't a bathroom?
244
00:09:43,096 --> 00:09:44,963
Am I right?
245
00:09:45,031 --> 00:09:46,965
All kidding aside, though,
the house does have
246
00:09:47,033 --> 00:09:49,233
22 full and 18 half-baths,
247
00:09:49,302 --> 00:09:51,769
all boasting priceless
grueby faience tilework,
248
00:09:51,838 --> 00:09:54,138
as well as..
249
00:09:54,207 --> 00:09:57,375
Cucumber water bidets!
250
00:09:57,444 --> 00:10:01,379
Now, if your assorted majesties and
highnesses will please follow me..
251
00:10:01,448 --> 00:10:04,382
To elevator number three, where
whats-her-face should be standing by..
252
00:10:04,451 --> 00:10:06,384
10-4 on the 20, come back.
253
00:10:06,453 --> 00:10:08,553
Stop it!
She will bring the prince upstairs,
254
00:10:08,621 --> 00:10:11,055
where Archer and Lana are
waiting to bring him to me..
255
00:10:11,124 --> 00:10:12,256
What? Wait, what?
256
00:10:12,325 --> 00:10:13,624
What? What's that?
257
00:10:13,693 --> 00:10:16,327
Are you in position? Yes?
258
00:10:16,396 --> 00:10:17,528
Yeah, I am..
259
00:10:17,597 --> 00:10:18,930
So I'm not really sure
260
00:10:18,999 --> 00:10:21,165
why you're using
that pissy tone with me..
261
00:10:21,234 --> 00:10:22,600
I.. Unless I sound like Lana,
262
00:10:22,669 --> 00:10:23,868
who is.. hang on..
263
00:10:23,937 --> 00:10:25,370
Looking around the position,
264
00:10:25,438 --> 00:10:28,306
and she is..
265
00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:30,942
not in position.
Well, where the hell is she?
266
00:10:31,011 --> 00:10:32,643
Yeah. Stand by?
267
00:10:34,881 --> 00:10:36,381
Jeez! Ow!
268
00:10:36,449 --> 00:10:38,684
Ow! What's that?
269
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,154
Hey, speaking of Lana
and positions..
270
00:10:43,223 --> 00:10:46,024
Cyril, I either can't or merely
don't want to talk right now, so..
271
00:10:46,092 --> 00:10:48,793
Cowgirl? Wheelbarrow?
Butter churn?
272
00:10:48,862 --> 00:10:52,465
Okay, Gollum, you have won
the game of riddles.
273
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,286
The gold ring is yours!
274
00:10:54,406 --> 00:10:56,221
Lana and the prince, you idiot!
275
00:10:56,341 --> 00:10:58,952
I.. wait, what about
Lana and the prince?
276
00:10:59,072 --> 00:11:01,405
Bow-chicka-dow-dow..
277
00:11:03,076 --> 00:11:04,076
Ow!
278
00:11:04,110 --> 00:11:05,877
Ow!
279
00:11:07,714 --> 00:11:11,449
So, that backfired..
280
00:11:11,518 --> 00:11:13,317
Maybe I should work
on my timing.
281
00:11:17,424 --> 00:11:19,824
Please.. someone..
Just kill me..
282
00:11:19,893 --> 00:11:21,993
Be careful what you wish for!
283
00:11:22,062 --> 00:11:24,262
Especially
if it's claustrophobic,
284
00:11:24,330 --> 00:11:27,899
manually-operated elevators!
285
00:11:27,967 --> 00:11:29,500
Because this is what
you would get.
286
00:11:29,569 --> 00:11:30,902
And I am embarrassed to say
287
00:11:30,970 --> 00:11:33,337
that I have room
for only one passenger.
288
00:11:33,406 --> 00:11:35,873
Where, in your belly?
289
00:11:35,942 --> 00:11:37,408
Burn. What?
290
00:11:37,477 --> 00:11:39,444
Return!
I shall take His Highness,
291
00:11:39,512 --> 00:11:41,612
and then I shall
speedily return for..
292
00:11:41,681 --> 00:11:43,381
Your Majesty.
293
00:11:43,450 --> 00:11:45,950
Whoa. Oh, my God.
294
00:11:46,019 --> 00:11:47,685
Damn, Gina.
295
00:11:47,754 --> 00:11:50,855
If it please Your Majesty,
take the elevator.
296
00:11:50,924 --> 00:11:54,459
I will escort His Highness
upstairs via..
297
00:11:54,527 --> 00:11:56,060
a more scenic route.
298
00:11:57,964 --> 00:11:59,230
Out of the question!
299
00:11:59,299 --> 00:12:00,619
I don't want him alone without..
300
00:12:00,633 --> 00:12:02,867
Mother, this sounds
like a win-win.
301
00:12:02,936 --> 00:12:04,602
Pardon, but I'm supposed to..
302
00:12:04,671 --> 00:12:08,439
Mother!
Woman, I will kill you where you stand!
303
00:12:08,508 --> 00:12:10,508
Which, by law
I'm required to tell you,
304
00:12:10,577 --> 00:12:12,410
if there's been a murder
in the house..
305
00:12:12,479 --> 00:12:14,512
Oh, but if you
were the murderer..
306
00:12:14,581 --> 00:12:16,948
That's what I love
about this job!
307
00:12:17,016 --> 00:12:18,382
You learn something new every..
308
00:12:18,451 --> 00:12:20,095
Mother, please!
309
00:12:22,188 --> 00:12:25,256
Fawad, habibi, I shall meet
you upstairs momentarily.
310
00:12:25,325 --> 00:12:27,792
Mind you, do not tarry.
311
00:12:27,861 --> 00:12:28,893
Well?
312
00:12:28,962 --> 00:12:30,161
Blorp.
313
00:12:30,230 --> 00:12:31,734
What the hell?
314
00:12:33,967 --> 00:12:36,537
Where is everybody?
Here! Present!
315
00:12:36,657 --> 00:12:38,030
Hey, where's Lana? What the..
316
00:12:38,150 --> 00:12:39,237
Well, she's not in here,
317
00:12:39,305 --> 00:12:40,999
which is where you also
shouldn't be!
318
00:12:41,119 --> 00:12:42,006
What? What?
319
00:12:42,075 --> 00:12:43,608
Why aren't you in position?
320
00:12:43,676 --> 00:12:44,942
Because, Slater, there's a..
321
00:12:45,011 --> 00:12:46,911
A problem with
your tranquilizer gun.
322
00:12:46,980 --> 00:12:48,079
What problem?
323
00:12:49,516 --> 00:12:51,682
It goes off for, like,
no reason.
324
00:12:51,751 --> 00:12:54,919
Where's Lana?
I'm not even a hundred percent sure
325
00:12:54,988 --> 00:12:57,989
where I am right now, so..
326
00:12:58,057 --> 00:13:00,825
You are hands down
my new favorite thing.
327
00:13:00,894 --> 00:13:03,794
Hello? Anybody? What the.. Ray?
328
00:13:03,863 --> 00:13:05,129
Is that you? Yeah, I need..
329
00:13:05,198 --> 00:13:06,898
Good, get off,
keep this channel open.
330
00:13:06,966 --> 00:13:09,525
No, I need you guys to..
Keep this channel open!
331
00:13:11,633 --> 00:13:14,090
God, these people.
Always "me, me, me."
332
00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:16,067
Hey, pretty girl..
333
00:13:16,743 --> 00:13:19,177
Or boy, or gender-fluid,
334
00:13:19,245 --> 00:13:21,746
or however you self-identify,
335
00:13:21,814 --> 00:13:23,481
it's all good.
336
00:13:23,550 --> 00:13:26,784
Although that being said..
Hyahh!
337
00:13:34,861 --> 00:13:36,894
Blorp.
338
00:13:43,669 --> 00:13:46,594
Okay, let's do this!
339
00:13:46,662 --> 00:13:48,529
Whats-yer-face, Pam,
what's your..
340
00:13:48,598 --> 00:13:51,198
What the shit? What's that?
341
00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:52,967
Hey, you.
342
00:13:53,035 --> 00:13:54,969
What the hell
are you people doing?
343
00:13:55,037 --> 00:13:58,305
Thinking about some breakfast,
am I right?
344
00:13:58,374 --> 00:14:00,207
Oh, my God, chilaquiles?
345
00:14:00,276 --> 00:14:03,754
What the..? Where the hell
is my tranquilizer gun?
346
00:14:03,874 --> 00:14:04,874
Your what?
347
00:14:05,281 --> 00:14:06,747
Your Highness?
348
00:14:06,816 --> 00:14:09,183
Could you help me in here,
please?
349
00:14:09,252 --> 00:14:11,519
And so, beckoned by the servant,
350
00:14:11,587 --> 00:14:14,555
a powerful negress giant,
Fawad entered the boudoir
351
00:14:14,624 --> 00:14:16,223
and soon became a man..
352
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,594
I seem to have fallen.
353
00:14:20,663 --> 00:14:23,856
I.. I seem to see that..
354
00:14:23,976 --> 00:14:25,628
Can you help me up..
355
00:14:26,035 --> 00:14:28,135
or vice versa?
356
00:14:28,203 --> 00:14:30,470
I think perhaps both? Ideally?
357
00:14:30,539 --> 00:14:32,973
Or rather, both,
ideally, would be..
358
00:14:35,077 --> 00:14:37,271
Hello? Prince?
359
00:14:37,621 --> 00:14:41,251
Kid, c'mon, I mean, I know I've been
crushing the post-natal yoga, but..
360
00:14:41,675 --> 00:14:43,132
Seriously,
did you have a stroke?
361
00:14:43,252 --> 00:14:45,352
Seriously?
362
00:14:45,421 --> 00:14:47,688
You honestly thought you were
so physically attractive
363
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:50,820
that you caused a healthy
young man to literally..
364
00:14:50,940 --> 00:14:55,495
To literally..
have a, um.. uh..
365
00:14:55,564 --> 00:14:56,997
Stroke?
366
00:14:57,066 --> 00:14:59,955
Seriously?
367
00:15:00,075 --> 00:15:03,136
Well, you better hope I get all
this shit scanned before he wakes..
368
00:15:03,205 --> 00:15:05,639
What's that? I couldn't hear you
over the sound of..
369
00:15:05,708 --> 00:15:08,842
Seriously, just yoga?
He said, jealously.
370
00:15:08,911 --> 00:15:11,178
Oh, my God, if anybody's
jealous, it's you.
371
00:15:11,246 --> 00:15:13,814
Hang on, shut up,
I have something for this..
372
00:15:13,882 --> 00:15:16,283
Lana Cougar Mellencamp! What?
373
00:15:16,351 --> 00:15:18,018
Look at him! He's a child!
374
00:15:18,087 --> 00:15:20,320
He's 21! I think!
375
00:15:20,389 --> 00:15:23,390
Which is more than I can say
for most of your sexual partners!
376
00:15:23,459 --> 00:15:27,160
What? I.. that.. I mean, even if
that were technically true, it's..
377
00:15:27,229 --> 00:15:28,779
It's what, painfully obvious
378
00:15:28,864 --> 00:15:30,280
that the reason you try
to drag your dick
379
00:15:30,365 --> 00:15:31,498
through every attractive
woman you meet
380
00:15:31,567 --> 00:15:32,727
is because you're not over me?
381
00:15:32,735 --> 00:15:35,035
Oh, my God!
382
00:15:35,104 --> 00:15:38,205
And just when their anger
reaches a fever pitch,
383
00:15:38,273 --> 00:15:40,207
in walks Figgis.
384
00:15:40,275 --> 00:15:42,876
I can't even formulate
a response to that!
385
00:15:42,945 --> 00:15:44,711
Because you can't argue
with the truth!
386
00:15:44,780 --> 00:15:48,548
I can! And if anybody's
not over anybody, it's you!
387
00:15:48,617 --> 00:15:51,718
With your.. your..
Your.. your.. your..
388
00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:56,356
Timing.
389
00:15:59,661 --> 00:16:02,929
Um, excuse me? Hello?
390
00:16:06,186 --> 00:16:07,801
Jesus, my ear balls!
391
00:16:07,870 --> 00:16:09,536
Um..
392
00:16:09,605 --> 00:16:12,018
Oh.
So, here's the thing with that..
393
00:16:12,569 --> 00:16:14,975
I'll be seein' you two later..
394
00:16:15,043 --> 00:16:16,710
Guards!
395
00:16:16,779 --> 00:16:18,678
Gua..!
396
00:16:18,747 --> 00:16:20,180
So.. not great.
397
00:16:20,249 --> 00:16:21,515
Uh, could be worse.
398
00:16:21,583 --> 00:16:22,883
Coming, Your Majesty!
399
00:16:22,951 --> 00:16:24,017
Case in point.
400
00:16:28,624 --> 00:16:31,124
Yeah, they are gonna
kill everybody.
401
00:16:31,193 --> 00:16:33,360
Well, dammit!
I'll have to disclose that!
402
00:16:33,428 --> 00:16:35,195
Will somebody do something?
403
00:16:35,264 --> 00:16:36,730
Yeah, Lana, get his pants off.
404
00:16:36,799 --> 00:16:38,398
Inappropes, honey.
405
00:16:38,467 --> 00:16:40,634
Wait, were they screwing?
406
00:16:40,702 --> 00:16:42,736
Hey! If anybody tells
mother about this, I'll..
407
00:16:42,805 --> 00:16:45,038
Wait, what? What the shit?
408
00:16:45,107 --> 00:16:48,041
You idiots! What did you do?
Hey, whoa! First of all,
409
00:16:48,110 --> 00:16:50,944
your plan was way too complicated.
Maybe for you people!
410
00:16:51,013 --> 00:16:53,713
It had everything but a sign
for free bird seed,
411
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,434
and second of all..
412
00:16:55,554 --> 00:16:57,148
What the..?
413
00:16:57,268 --> 00:16:59,962
Huh. I was wondering how many rounds
this little guy held..
414
00:17:00,923 --> 00:17:02,289
Oh, my God, we're gonna die.
415
00:17:02,357 --> 00:17:03,557
I gotta get outta here!
416
00:17:03,625 --> 00:17:05,258
If they find out
the CIA was behind this,
417
00:17:05,327 --> 00:17:07,027
it'll be
an international incident!
418
00:17:07,095 --> 00:17:08,962
Yeah, God forbid
you guys get caught.
419
00:17:09,031 --> 00:17:11,231
Hello, front desk?
Watergate Hotel?
420
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:13,400
This is the Bay of Pigs,
in room 61.
421
00:17:13,468 --> 00:17:16,102
Could you send up 1,500
poorly-trained Cuban exiles?
422
00:17:16,171 --> 00:17:17,370
Ooh, and ice!
423
00:17:17,439 --> 00:17:18,776
You done?
424
00:17:18,896 --> 00:17:20,622
Yes, that's right,
and a bucket of ice.
425
00:17:20,742 --> 00:17:23,910
Hmm? What's that? No, we won't
be needing any air cover.
426
00:17:23,979 --> 00:17:25,212
Click. Now I'm done.
427
00:17:28,984 --> 00:17:31,251
Then can we..
Carol, I'm assuming all the bedrooms
428
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:32,819
are connected
to secret passages?
429
00:17:32,888 --> 00:17:35,255
Yeah, so that at night
grandfather could..
430
00:17:35,324 --> 00:17:36,690
look in on the children.
431
00:17:36,758 --> 00:17:39,192
Ew.
432
00:17:39,261 --> 00:17:41,528
Okay, everybody in,
and make sure you swing by
433
00:17:41,597 --> 00:17:43,463
and get Krieger and Ray
on your way out.
434
00:17:43,532 --> 00:17:45,031
Yeah, where is Ray?
435
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,174
Well, I gotta hand it to you..
436
00:18:03,085 --> 00:18:04,317
Wait, what about you guys?
437
00:18:04,386 --> 00:18:05,386
Uh, we're going to..
438
00:18:05,387 --> 00:18:06,419
Um.. uh..
439
00:18:06,488 --> 00:18:08,288
Beat 'em off.. hold them off,
440
00:18:08,357 --> 00:18:11,625
so you guys can get away, to..
Safety
441
00:18:11,693 --> 00:18:12,859
or wherever.
442
00:18:12,928 --> 00:18:14,879
Uh-huh.
443
00:18:17,999 --> 00:18:21,034
Okay, so obviously
we'll need to talk
444
00:18:21,103 --> 00:18:22,335
about what just happened,
445
00:18:22,404 --> 00:18:24,704
so.. um..
446
00:18:24,773 --> 00:18:25,452
Shitter?
447
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,774
Or wherever.
448
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:30,777
Your Majesty!
449
00:18:30,846 --> 00:18:32,279
What in the.. Mother?
450
00:18:32,347 --> 00:18:33,880
Your Highness! Your Majesty!
451
00:18:33,949 --> 00:18:36,416
You're alive!
Tear this place apart!
452
00:18:36,485 --> 00:18:38,852
And when we find
these American pigs,
453
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,821
they will eat their own eyes
before we kill them!
454
00:18:41,890 --> 00:18:43,690
Oh, my God..
455
00:18:43,759 --> 00:18:46,226
Lana! It's like.. it's like
456
00:18:46,295 --> 00:18:48,662
the danger makes
it that much hotter!
457
00:18:48,730 --> 00:18:52,730
Yeah, yeah, that,
plus your dick!
458
00:18:54,820 --> 00:18:56,152
Right?
459
00:18:57,339 --> 00:18:58,605
Totally.
460
00:18:58,674 --> 00:19:00,240
Oh, my God..
461
00:19:01,328 --> 00:19:04,110
Well, I hope you're all pleased
462
00:19:04,162 --> 00:19:05,478
with yourselves..
463
00:19:05,547 --> 00:19:08,248
because thanks
to your latest fiasco,
464
00:19:08,317 --> 00:19:10,989
after he makes a formal
protest at the U.N. tomorrow,
465
00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:13,688
the Durhani ambassador is being recalled.
466
00:19:13,808 --> 00:19:16,082
Which.. it was all Slater's fault.
467
00:19:16,202 --> 00:19:18,133
Sterling, I swear to God..
468
00:19:18,253 --> 00:19:21,695
Malory it was, he..
And why are you taking Sterling's side?
469
00:19:21,763 --> 00:19:22,996
Because..
470
00:19:23,065 --> 00:19:25,065
Shut up! Burn!
471
00:19:25,133 --> 00:19:27,334
Slater's plan was just..
Fakakta!
472
00:19:27,402 --> 00:19:30,203
And I was counting on that commission,
and now the homeowners
473
00:19:30,272 --> 00:19:32,439
are taking the house
off the market.
474
00:19:32,507 --> 00:19:36,109
You do realize you're the homeowner.
Still though.
475
00:19:36,178 --> 00:19:38,378
Oh, shut up, and unless there's
anything else,
476
00:19:38,447 --> 00:19:39,846
you can all get out.
477
00:19:39,915 --> 00:19:41,915
Actually, there is one
other thing.
478
00:19:41,984 --> 00:19:43,616
What?
479
00:19:43,685 --> 00:19:46,045
I think Ray deserves a hand.
480
00:19:50,792 --> 00:19:52,993
God dammit!
481
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:55,443
Oh, come on, we were
all thinking it..
482
00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:58,798
Cause you got no freaking hand, stupid!