1
00:00:03,490 --> 00:00:04,966
<i>(samantha) there comes a time
in everyone's life</i>

2
00:00:04,967 --> 00:00:06,243
<i>when they have
to leave the nest.</i>

3
00:00:07,539 --> 00:00:09,737
<i>me--i've had two times,
because after a year</i>

4
00:00:09,738 --> 00:00:11,732
<i>of recovering from amnesia
at my parents' house,</i>

5
00:00:12,226 --> 00:00:14,492
<i>i was ready to either
spread my wings and fly</i>

6
00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:19,026
<i>or fall to the ground
and get swallowed by a snake.</i>

7
00:00:19,592 --> 00:00:23,792
mom. mom.
dad. dad, can you...

8
00:00:23,826 --> 00:00:25,926
regina...

9
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,293
release.

10
00:00:28,625 --> 00:00:29,859
okay.

11
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:36,859
frank, make sure she uses...
(voice breaks) condoms.

12
00:00:39,392 --> 00:00:41,358
okay.
(car engine starts)

13
00:00:43,559 --> 00:00:47,159
oh, my god. frank, i'm home!
i have my own place.

14
00:00:47,193 --> 00:00:49,826
can you believe it?
i can do whatever i want.

15
00:00:49,859 --> 00:00:52,392
i can sing.
i can run around naked.

16
00:00:52,425 --> 00:00:56,325
you can learn to tip, as long
as you're making a list.

17
00:00:56,358 --> 00:00:58,425
♪ i'd like to find something

18
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:00,525
♪ i've got my best dress on

19
00:01:00,559 --> 00:01:04,859
♪ and i'll play
from dusk till dawn ♪

20
00:01:04,892 --> 00:01:07,059
<i>(gabriella cilmi)
* and when you sleep tonight
(humming)</i>

21
00:01:07,092 --> 00:01:09,092
<i>* i'd hold my pillow tight </i>

22
00:01:09,126 --> 00:01:12,425
<i>* i'd turn all the lights on </i>

23
00:01:12,458 --> 00:01:17,059
<i>* ooh, i say, don't say </i>

24
00:01:17,092 --> 00:01:19,492
<i>* that you're up to nothing </i>

25
00:01:19,525 --> 00:01:21,492
<i>* you're sure up to something </i>

26
00:01:21,525 --> 00:01:23,492
i love this song.
aah! aah!

27
00:01:26,193 --> 00:01:27,692
(music stops)
todd.

28
00:01:27,725 --> 00:01:29,488
(chuckles)
i thought
we talked on the phone.

29
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:31,882
y-you said
you were moving out.
i was. i am.

30
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:36,092
i'm on my way to look
at a few places right now.
really? are you sure
you're not just stalling

31
00:01:36,093 --> 00:01:37,987
'cause you think i'm gonna
change my mind or something?

32
00:01:37,988 --> 00:01:40,532
'cause you know what?
if that's the case, i just--

33
00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:43,567
i feel it's gonna be really
weird for both of us, you know?

34
00:01:47,242 --> 00:01:49,342
apartments.

35
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,909
bay windows.
that sounds nice.

36
00:01:51,943 --> 00:01:53,442
yeah.

37
00:01:53,476 --> 00:01:55,743
hello!

38
00:01:59,442 --> 00:02:02,076
mom? dad?

39
00:02:02,110 --> 00:02:03,076
hello?!

40
00:02:06,743 --> 00:02:08,442
sweetheart, you're home.

41
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,442
hey, you look kind of thin.

42
00:02:10,476 --> 00:02:13,576
she's been gone six hours.
yeah, well,
i have to do laundry.

43
00:02:13,609 --> 00:02:14,486
plus, i need
to take your spatula

44
00:02:14,487 --> 00:02:17,219
because todd used mine
to clean hair out of the drain.

45
00:02:17,484 --> 00:02:20,481
what are you guys doing?
we're practicing
for the contest

46
00:02:20,482 --> 00:02:23,716
at the walnut valley club
next week.
oh. (laughs)

47
00:02:25,565 --> 00:02:28,483
how old are you guys there?
you look so dorky.

48
00:02:29,563 --> 00:02:30,489
that was last year.
oh.

49
00:02:30,490 --> 00:02:32,457
we're using this
as a training film.

50
00:02:32,490 --> 00:02:35,390
look. watch, howard.
there. right there.
(rewinds tape)

51
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:37,173
see, our footwork
is really sloppy.
mm.

52
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:40,391
well, i think
we look pretty good.
no, "pretty good" is not
enough to beat paula drake.

53
00:02:40,424 --> 00:02:42,391
oh, i see
what this is about--

54
00:02:42,424 --> 00:02:46,627
your little rivalry
with paula drake.
yes, it is,
her and her smug little grin.

55
00:02:46,628 --> 00:02:48,595
she beats me
at everything--

56
00:02:48,628 --> 00:02:51,094
this and best tulips
and best chili cook-off.

57
00:02:51,127 --> 00:02:54,361
oh, and that daughter of hers--
she's a doctor.

58
00:02:54,394 --> 00:02:56,661
she's married.
she has two children.

59
00:02:56,695 --> 00:02:58,661
you know, and you're single
and you're unemployed,

60
00:02:58,695 --> 00:03:00,161
and after your coma,

61
00:03:00,194 --> 00:03:02,628
you had to relearn
how to peel an orange.

62
00:03:02,661 --> 00:03:04,661
hey, i got that in one day.

63
00:03:04,695 --> 00:03:06,862
howard, honey, we've gotta
practice that grapevine,

64
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,228
or we're never
gonna get first place.
well, third place is
a screwdriver set.

65
00:03:10,261 --> 00:03:12,862
that's something we could use.
hey, hey. what's this?

66
00:03:17,094 --> 00:03:19,394
it's one
of your college recitals.

67
00:03:19,428 --> 00:03:22,161
i was in a recital,
and you taped over it?

68
00:03:22,194 --> 00:03:25,161
how was i supposed to know
you wanted to see that again?

69
00:03:25,194 --> 00:03:27,161
i mean,
what am i supposed to think

70
00:03:27,194 --> 00:03:29,361
every time i want
to tape an "oprah" that...

71
00:03:29,394 --> 00:03:31,361
(singsong voice)
"oh, sam might get amnesia.

72
00:03:31,394 --> 00:03:32,985
she might want to see
that first birthday party"?

73
00:03:35,881 --> 00:03:36,657
i used to dance.

74
00:03:37,949 --> 00:03:39,482
y-you know, i don't want
to sound conceited or anything,

75
00:03:39,483 --> 00:03:41,721
but i'm pretty badass.

76
00:03:41,973 --> 00:03:44,707
(howard)
yeah, you were incredible.
yeah, you take after me.

77
00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:47,484
feel that thigh.
yeah, hard as a rock.
feel it.

78
00:03:47,485 --> 00:03:49,585
later.
why didn't you tell me?

79
00:03:49,619 --> 00:03:52,251
i mean, you point out every
lousy thing about my life,

80
00:03:52,619 --> 00:03:55,192
but the one talent that
i do have, nobody mentions it?

81
00:03:55,619 --> 00:03:56,975
we didn't want you
to get a big head.

82
00:03:58,118 --> 00:04:01,185
i want to see it again.
i want to see it again.

83
00:04:06,912 --> 00:04:09,545
shouldn't you be hunting
for apartments?

84
00:04:09,578 --> 00:04:11,946
i set a few traps.
i'll check them tomorrow.

85
00:04:11,979 --> 00:04:13,679
i know your game.

86
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:16,234
you have no intention
of looking for an apartment.

87
00:04:16,235 --> 00:04:18,980
you're just gonna
keep mooching off sam.
i was looking, okay?

88
00:04:20,676 --> 00:04:21,658
you know, i thought
i had all this money coming

89
00:04:21,659 --> 00:04:22,855
from this wedding i shot,
but the bride--

90
00:04:23,957 --> 00:04:26,479
you know,
she didn't like the proofs.
so what,
she's just not gonna pay,

91
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:30,246
and you're gonna let her
get away with that?
no, i left messages, e-mail.
i don't know what else to do.

92
00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:32,647
i'm an attorney.
come to my office tomorrow,

93
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:37,245
and i'll show you
what else you can do.
i just told you, i don't
have money for a lawyer.

94
00:04:37,246 --> 00:04:40,495
are you slow? look, i get
to bring a bride to tears

95
00:04:40,496 --> 00:04:41,789
and kick you
out of sam's apartment?

96
00:04:42,496 --> 00:04:43,227
<i>i should be paying you.</i>

97
00:04:47,992 --> 00:04:49,851
well, you know what? we should
switch things out before we go.

98
00:04:49,852 --> 00:04:53,430
that paper towel holder
goes home with me.

99
00:04:53,519 --> 00:04:55,958
this spatula goes
back to the city with you.

100
00:04:56,552 --> 00:04:57,779
look at you.

101
00:04:58,118 --> 00:04:59,372
you're all grown up,

102
00:04:59,886 --> 00:05:01,324
got your own spatula.

103
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:02,994
i did a good job.

104
00:05:03,118 --> 00:05:06,085
oh, crap!
what? what? what?

105
00:05:06,118 --> 00:05:06,993
(lowers voice)
paula drake.

106
00:05:07,701 --> 00:05:10,988
i know i should never
leave the house without a bra.
i don't think
we need paula drake

107
00:05:10,989 --> 00:05:12,739
to make that a rule, mom.
what are you doing?

108
00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:18,595
putting on lipstick.
she's my nemesis.
she's your nemesis?
what does she--

109
00:05:18,596 --> 00:05:21,395
does she have
an underground lair?
regina!

110
00:05:21,429 --> 00:05:23,295
oh. h-hi!

111
00:05:23,329 --> 00:05:24,737
i thought that was you.

112
00:05:24,738 --> 00:05:27,171
what are you doing here?
buying a bra, i hope.

113
00:05:27,205 --> 00:05:28,704
hi, paula.

114
00:05:28,738 --> 00:05:31,604
samantha, hello.

115
00:05:31,637 --> 00:05:34,438
how is your head injury
doing today?

116
00:05:34,472 --> 00:05:35,938
i'm not brain-damaged.

117
00:05:35,971 --> 00:05:39,604
i have my own spat... ula.

118
00:05:39,637 --> 00:05:42,757
oh, regina,
did i see that you signed up

119
00:05:42,758 --> 00:05:44,107
for the dance
at the club again?

120
00:05:44,704 --> 00:05:46,671
oh, yes, you did.
yes, you did.

121
00:05:46,704 --> 00:05:48,980
in fact, i think howard and i
are gonna give you and charlie

122
00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:51,814
a little run for your money
this year.
of course you will.

123
00:05:51,847 --> 00:05:54,148
like i said at the chandler's
anniversary party...

124
00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:57,522
oh, faux pas.
were you not invited?

125
00:05:57,556 --> 00:06:00,502
anyway, i told everyone
that no matter how many times

126
00:06:00,503 --> 00:06:02,922
the newlys lose,
they just keep on going.

127
00:06:02,955 --> 00:06:05,322
they may be failures,
but they are not quitters.

128
00:06:05,355 --> 00:06:07,736
hey, they're not failures
either.

129
00:06:08,238 --> 00:06:09,236
of course they're not.

130
00:06:09,237 --> 00:06:12,204
will you have a special seat
to watch your parents lose?

131
00:06:12,237 --> 00:06:15,204
she won't be there.
she's moved back to the city.
oh, no. i'll be there.

132
00:06:15,237 --> 00:06:17,728
i'll be there, 'cause we're
gonna kick your butts.
we?

133
00:06:17,729 --> 00:06:22,012
yep, that's right. i am your
new partner, and i am excellent.

134
00:06:22,013 --> 00:06:24,179
two women can't dance together
at the club.

135
00:06:24,213 --> 00:06:28,244
oh, yes, they can, thanks
to those two nice gay lawyers

136
00:06:28,245 --> 00:06:29,478
who just moved down the block.

137
00:06:29,853 --> 00:06:33,731
<i>it's a whole new world.
yeah, well, we made them cry,
and we'll make you cry, too.</i>

138
00:06:34,112 --> 00:06:35,230
oh, yeah?
you want to see some crying?

139
00:06:35,231 --> 00:06:36,978
<i>'cause we're gonna bring you
to your knees</i>

140
00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:41,274
and not in some
cool dance move way. ah.
what just happened?

141
00:06:41,275 --> 00:06:42,983
i don't know, but i got
that same high i got

142
00:06:42,984 --> 00:06:44,246
when i peeled that orange.
(chuckles nervously)

143
00:06:46,236 --> 00:06:48,499
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144
00:06:50,552 --> 00:06:52,247
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145
00:06:52,248 --> 00:06:54,605
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146
00:06:55,485 --> 00:06:57,005
i don't know
how it came out of me.

147
00:06:57,005 --> 00:06:59,137
it's just that
this paula drake woman

148
00:06:59,137 --> 00:07:00,971
was attacking my family,
and all of a sudden,

149
00:07:00,971 --> 00:07:03,970
i just became like a mother cat
and my mom was my kitten,

150
00:07:03,971 --> 00:07:08,231
and she was being swallowed
by a python or something.
oh, a python's gotta eat.

151
00:07:08,232 --> 00:07:11,071
what?
not a kitten person.
surprising, i know, but...

152
00:07:11,566 --> 00:07:13,866
excuse me.
dance competition?

153
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:16,900
why didn't you tell me
about this?
oh, because i usually just--

154
00:07:16,933 --> 00:07:19,299
we're in.
i have magic legs.
ah!

155
00:07:19,332 --> 00:07:21,561
no, we're not--
we're not dancing.

156
00:07:21,997 --> 00:07:24,498
what do you mean,
we're not--we can win.

157
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:28,264
you are going down, newly.
i'm gon--
no. we can dance
any other night of the year,

158
00:07:28,298 --> 00:07:29,735
but the walnut valley
dance competition

159
00:07:29,736 --> 00:07:31,730
is the one night
i get to be on tech crew.

160
00:07:32,824 --> 00:07:34,228
if it makes you
feel any better, though,

161
00:07:34,565 --> 00:07:39,477
my mom and i are
kind of a lock to win.
so... two women dancing?

162
00:07:41,784 --> 00:07:44,163
you're thinking about
where the boobs go.
anyone would.

163
00:07:44,784 --> 00:07:48,652
so how's your dad, you know,
with you stepping in?
i don't know. i don't know.

164
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:51,318
she's telling him right now.
god, i feel so bad, though,

165
00:07:51,352 --> 00:07:53,318
because he looks forward
to this every year.

166
00:07:53,352 --> 00:07:56,285
thank you, gay lawyer couple!

167
00:07:56,318 --> 00:07:57,951
have fun with sam!

168
00:07:57,985 --> 00:07:59,951
i'm off to the boat show!

169
00:07:59,985 --> 00:08:02,552
ha ha ha ha! whoo!

170
00:08:04,218 --> 00:08:06,185
we're thinking about
doing a cha-cha,

171
00:08:06,218 --> 00:08:08,185
but we haven't
figured it out yet.

172
00:08:08,218 --> 00:08:09,988
and we're gonna get these
little matching gold dresses,

173
00:08:10,719 --> 00:08:11,967
and, oh, god,
it's gonna feel so good

174
00:08:11,968 --> 00:08:15,101
to take this paula drake down.
paula drake,
little matching dresses?

175
00:08:15,102 --> 00:08:17,836
i'm just making sure
i have all the details

176
00:08:17,837 --> 00:08:20,858
for when i repeat this story
at work.
you are so not interested in this.

177
00:08:20,859 --> 00:08:23,859
<i>mm, no, i'm not interested
in this, and why are you?</i>

178
00:08:23,892 --> 00:08:26,258
i mean, you are
finally out of the sticks.

179
00:08:26,291 --> 00:08:27,734
todd is almost
out of the apartment.

180
00:08:28,218 --> 00:08:31,585
you're healing.
don't open the wound.
this means so much
to my mother.

181
00:08:31,619 --> 00:08:34,986
okay, maybe i'm not drinking
enough, because this is unclear.

182
00:08:35,019 --> 00:08:38,452
you don't like your mother. you
don't show up at thanksgiving.

183
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:41,185
you--you--you send your
assistant to birthday parties.

184
00:08:41,218 --> 00:08:42,752
you don't do christmas.

185
00:08:42,786 --> 00:08:45,086
oh, sweet baby jesus.

186
00:08:47,619 --> 00:08:51,053
where are these judges?
it's freezing out here.
well,maybe if a certain shepherd

187
00:08:51,086 --> 00:08:54,252
didn't dress like a $2 whore.
i have a date
in half an hour.

188
00:08:54,285 --> 00:08:55,686
oh, no, you don't.

189
00:08:55,719 --> 00:08:58,452
it is christmas eve, young lady.
you get back here right now!

190
00:08:58,485 --> 00:09:01,452
you're a member of this family!
oh, really? well,
where do i sign to get out?

191
00:09:01,485 --> 00:09:04,619
do not make me put down
this baby jesus!
* silent night

192
00:09:04,652 --> 00:09:06,439
okay, god, i can't wait
to put you into a home.

193
00:09:06,439 --> 00:09:08,438
really. oh, god.
* holy night

194
00:09:08,439 --> 00:09:12,405
(gasps)
there. i just won you
a free ham.

195
00:09:12,439 --> 00:09:14,906
♪ all is bright

196
00:09:14,939 --> 00:09:18,505
i like it.
i think it's edgy.

197
00:09:18,539 --> 00:09:22,693
okay, well, now i am
making it up to her,

198
00:09:22,694 --> 00:09:24,660
especially if we win...
mm.

199
00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:28,400
because do you know
how good of a dancer i am?
uh, yes, i do.

200
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,483
ah!
we used to go dancing
all the time.

201
00:09:30,818 --> 00:09:32,651
oh, you used to shake it,

202
00:09:32,684 --> 00:09:34,240
and you used to have
everyone watching,

203
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:37,995
and then i would swoop in,
and i would just spank your ass.

204
00:09:39,227 --> 00:09:42,028
<i>i love this song.
(jaconfetti)
* we're gonna do it </i>

205
00:09:42,061 --> 00:09:44,694
<i>ooh. yeah.
* hey, step up </i>

206
00:09:44,728 --> 00:09:46,928
<i>* we're gonna do it,
we're gonna do it *</i>

207
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:49,427
<i>* step on up,
we wanna move until we drop *</i>

208
00:09:49,461 --> 00:09:51,594
<i>* never gonna do it
like a picture crop *</i>

209
00:09:51,628 --> 00:09:54,461
<i>* and play it one more time </i>

210
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,995
<i>* step on up,
we wanna move until we drop *</i>

211
00:09:57,028 --> 00:09:59,294
<i>* never gonna do it
like a picture crop *</i>

212
00:10:00,694 --> 00:10:02,255
well, don't just stand there!
spank me!

213
00:10:02,694 --> 00:10:04,694
<i>* step on up before they do
another press stop *</i>

214
00:10:04,728 --> 00:10:06,828
<i>* we love tue. t hippie hop </i>

215
00:10:06,861 --> 00:10:08,974
<i>* and play it one more time </i>

216
00:10:11,546 --> 00:10:16,159
okay, you can do this.
you know how to dance.

217
00:10:52,499 --> 00:10:53,554
samantha!

218
00:10:55,032 --> 00:10:57,098
get up off the floor.

219
00:10:57,132 --> 00:10:58,290
when your father pulls in,

220
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:00,015
he doesn't stop until he hits
that tennis ball.

221
00:11:01,024 --> 00:11:02,990
(groans) i talked
to my doctor today,

222
00:11:03,024 --> 00:11:05,725
and i have lost
my ability to dance.

223
00:11:05,758 --> 00:11:09,524
oh, please. i swear, that man
just says things to upset me.

224
00:11:09,558 --> 00:11:13,191
ow. no, mom,
it's the amnesia.

225
00:11:13,192 --> 00:11:14,691
he says it happens
all the time.

226
00:11:14,990 --> 00:11:16,994
he's seen people lose
their ability to play the piano

227
00:11:16,995 --> 00:11:18,229
or to speak french.

228
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,803
last night i tried
to dance at the club,

229
00:11:20,804 --> 00:11:24,317
and i unintentionally raised
$2,000 for my "problem."

230
00:11:24,318 --> 00:11:27,164
samantha, when you were 4,
you couldn't dance either,

231
00:11:27,518 --> 00:11:28,839
until i pushed you,

232
00:11:29,785 --> 00:11:31,216
and i made you practice.

233
00:11:31,918 --> 00:11:34,203
and then when you were 7, you
started bringing home trophies.

234
00:11:34,204 --> 00:11:37,104
a newly never gives up.
oh, it's over, mom.

235
00:11:37,835 --> 00:11:41,402
one good thing about my life,
and it's just gone.

236
00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:46,569
i'm just gonna go get my stuff
and head back to the city.

237
00:11:50,468 --> 00:11:52,435
unless you push me again.

238
00:11:52,468 --> 00:11:55,981
no. oh, no, no, no, no.
that was hard on both of us.

239
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:59,548
oh, no, no. there were so many
tears, so many vodka tonics.

240
00:11:59,581 --> 00:12:02,229
come on. come on. you just said
that a newly never gives up.

241
00:12:02,230 --> 00:12:04,464
<i>on themselves.</i>

242
00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:07,226
on each other, all the time.

243
00:12:09,491 --> 00:12:12,725
(whispering) come on.

244
00:12:12,758 --> 00:12:15,391
come on.

245
00:12:17,159 --> 00:12:20,025
and turn. and turn.
and turn.

246
00:12:20,059 --> 00:12:22,758
i don't see hips.
i don't see hips.
that's my hip.my hip is out.

247
00:12:22,792 --> 00:12:25,758
that's one hip. cha-cha-cha.
cha-cha-cha.
it's my hip.

248
00:12:25,792 --> 00:12:28,758
i wasn't ready.
i wasn't ready.
all right, ready?one, two, really...

249
00:12:28,792 --> 00:12:30,516
oh, wait!
i just can't--okay, but--
let go!

250
00:12:30,537 --> 00:12:32,503
i don't see a dancer anywhere.
i am a dancer.

251
00:12:32,537 --> 00:12:34,705
you are not a dancer.
i am so a dancer!

252
00:12:34,706 --> 00:12:36,538
i can't hear you.
i'm a dancer!

253
00:12:36,539 --> 00:12:37,260
then show me you're a dancer!
(bell dings)

254
00:12:37,261 --> 00:12:40,182
oh, i'm sorry, honey.
i gotta turn the chicken over.
(pants)

255
00:12:41,843 --> 00:12:44,142
and round and round and step
and cha-cha-cha.

256
00:12:44,175 --> 00:12:47,142
(gasps) that was it.
that was it. do that again.
do it again. do it again.

257
00:12:47,175 --> 00:12:49,642
i want to go. and back.
step, and that's my girl!

258
00:12:49,676 --> 00:12:52,509
aah!
yes, yes, yes! you did it!
you did it! good girl.

259
00:12:52,542 --> 00:12:56,442
i think somebody deserves some ice cream.
i think someone deserves some fresh fruit.

260
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,476
i do have to lift you.

261
00:13:00,776 --> 00:13:03,809
why should i pay some hack
for taking crap photographs

262
00:13:03,843 --> 00:13:07,108
and ruining my wedding?
we really couldn't do
any of this through e-mail?

263
00:13:07,142 --> 00:13:09,476
look. jeffrey looks hideous.

264
00:13:09,509 --> 00:13:13,309
he isn't even smiling,
and it's his wedding day.

265
00:13:13,342 --> 00:13:15,478
there's nothing wrong with
these. your husband looks hot.

266
00:13:15,479 --> 00:13:17,478
pay the man.
okay, i don't expect

267
00:13:17,479 --> 00:13:19,946
somebody without a ring
on her finger to understand.

268
00:13:19,980 --> 00:13:23,080
you just resent women like me
because you want what we have.

269
00:13:23,113 --> 00:13:26,356
<i>okay, one--i've probably
already had what you have,</i>

270
00:13:26,357 --> 00:13:29,488
and two--maybe there's
no ring on my finger

271
00:13:29,489 --> 00:13:30,756
because i don't want one.

272
00:13:31,489 --> 00:13:32,226
you don't know me.

273
00:13:32,227 --> 00:13:35,102
oh, really?
career girl by day,

274
00:13:35,103 --> 00:13:38,212
and by night, a long line
of meaningless affairs

275
00:13:38,213 --> 00:13:39,411
with guys
who wouldn't remember you

276
00:13:39,412 --> 00:13:41,910
if they bumped into you
on the street. am i close?

277
00:13:43,060 --> 00:13:45,486
<i>just putting off the day
when you find yourself dancing</i>

278
00:13:45,487 --> 00:13:47,930
next to girls who are
ten years younger than you,

279
00:13:47,931 --> 00:13:49,467
and you realize
you've missed your window.

280
00:13:49,776 --> 00:13:52,110
and you end up in
your lonely little apartment,

281
00:13:52,143 --> 00:13:53,483
curled up in front
of the television,

282
00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:55,652
eating your sad-looking
meat loaf for one

283
00:13:55,653 --> 00:13:56,980
and wearing a sweatshirt

284
00:13:56,981 --> 00:13:59,777
that says, "forget love.
i'm falling in chocolate."

285
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,140
okay. you know what?

286
00:14:05,173 --> 00:14:07,140
i'm gonna take
a 10-minute recess.

287
00:14:07,173 --> 00:14:09,640
no, i-i don't need
ten minutes.

288
00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:11,640
i don't care
if you pay me or not,

289
00:14:11,674 --> 00:14:13,706
<i>because those pictures
are great. the problem is you.</i>

290
00:14:13,739 --> 00:14:15,213
excuse me?
because when i look at these,
all i see is

291
00:14:15,214 --> 00:14:17,682
a guy who loves his wife,
and all you see are the flaws.

292
00:14:17,715 --> 00:14:20,181
i mean, you women complain
that there aren't any good guys

293
00:14:20,214 --> 00:14:21,480
out there, and then you find one
who treats you well

294
00:14:21,481 --> 00:14:24,340
and actually remembers that your
favorite flower is a daffodil

295
00:14:24,341 --> 00:14:26,203
and held your hand
while you were in a coma...
what?

296
00:14:26,204 --> 00:14:28,705
even after
you cheated on him...
okay, i never cheated.

297
00:14:28,738 --> 00:14:30,705
and you still think there's
something better out there,

298
00:14:30,738 --> 00:14:33,638
so you turn to the one guy who
actually loves you, and you say,

299
00:14:33,671 --> 00:14:36,638
"you know what? we're not right
together. you have to move out."

300
00:14:36,671 --> 00:14:39,471
<i>well, you know what?
i am moving out, all right?</i>

301
00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:44,810
i don't care if i have to live in a box!
and for your information,
a guy did offer to marry me,

302
00:14:44,811 --> 00:14:46,238
and if that stick
would have turned blue,

303
00:14:46,239 --> 00:14:49,205
i'd be living in scarsdale
by now. uh-huh.

304
00:14:52,214 --> 00:14:54,479
hey, todd. it's me.
um, just wanted to let you know

305
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:57,477
that i am not gonna be coming
back to the apartment tonight

306
00:14:57,478 --> 00:14:59,107
because i have to rehearse
my dance number

307
00:14:59,108 --> 00:15:00,263
with my mom in the morning.

308
00:15:00,493 --> 00:15:02,727
you know, it's kind of been fun
hanging out with her.

309
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,203
i didn't think that i would
really like--okay, nice beep.

310
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:09,134
all right. mom?
hey, i got the dresses! mom!

311
00:15:15,735 --> 00:15:16,356
mom!

312
00:15:17,877 --> 00:15:20,944
what are you doing?
it's not what it looks like.

313
00:15:20,977 --> 00:15:22,483
you're practicing
for the contest with dad,

314
00:15:22,484 --> 00:15:24,884
aren't you?
no!

315
00:15:24,918 --> 00:15:28,818
we were smoking marijuana.
i am so hungry. who wants pie?
there's pie.

316
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:31,450
here, dad.
i hope you can pull off

317
00:15:31,451 --> 00:15:32,895
something
with spaghetti straps.

318
00:15:40,084 --> 00:15:41,057
samantha.

319
00:15:41,777 --> 00:15:44,758
you were making
real progress, honey,

320
00:15:44,758 --> 00:15:46,177
but you--you only got
the one step.

321
00:15:46,758 --> 00:15:48,758
now if the competition
was one step long,

322
00:15:48,791 --> 00:15:50,758
that trophy
would have been ours.

323
00:15:50,791 --> 00:15:52,017
oh, no, no, no.
you're right.

324
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,352
i mean, i was
just being stupid, you know?

325
00:15:54,384 --> 00:15:57,818
we would
never have won as a team.
oh.

326
00:15:57,851 --> 00:15:59,818
plus, this is--this is
really the push i needed.

327
00:15:59,851 --> 00:16:02,818
i mean, what am i doing
hanging out here all day,

328
00:16:02,851 --> 00:16:05,318
dancing with my mommy,
right?

329
00:16:05,352 --> 00:16:08,451
i'm--i'm an adult.

330
00:16:08,484 --> 00:16:10,584
thanks for doing my laundry.

331
00:16:10,618 --> 00:16:14,951
(inhales deeply) mmm.
that really does smell good.

332
00:16:20,566 --> 00:16:21,482
what is that look for?

333
00:16:22,666 --> 00:16:25,141
she said herself she knew
we couldn't beat paula drake.

334
00:16:25,142 --> 00:16:27,376
she practically
moved back home.

335
00:16:27,409 --> 00:16:30,376
you guys have been out
in that garage ten hours a day.

336
00:16:30,409 --> 00:16:33,383
she did it to be with you.
howard, please.
i know my own daughter.

337
00:16:33,384 --> 00:16:35,236
she hasn't wanted
to spend time with me

338
00:16:35,237 --> 00:16:37,203
since she was 12 years old.

339
00:16:37,237 --> 00:16:39,706
can we please go back out there?
we've got a lot of work to do.

340
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,331
you know,
i think i'm done for tonight.

341
00:16:41,332 --> 00:16:43,940
<i>i don't even want any pie.</i>

342
00:16:52,634 --> 00:16:55,400
that bride messengered over
the check this morning.

343
00:16:55,433 --> 00:16:57,484
there's enough here
for first and last month's rent,

344
00:16:57,485 --> 00:17:01,184
plus security.
huh. what i said must have
gotten through to her.

345
00:17:01,218 --> 00:17:03,472
no, what you said
scared the crap out of her.

346
00:17:03,473 --> 00:17:07,939
i had to talk her
out of a restraining order.
great. so...

347
00:17:11,519 --> 00:17:12,263
now i can move out.

348
00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:15,330
yeah, and sam can get on
with her life.
and there we are.

349
00:17:15,363 --> 00:17:16,831
<i>mm-hmm.
thanks, ann-drea.</i>

350
00:17:16,864 --> 00:17:18,330
<i>on-drea.
right. hey.</i>

351
00:17:18,363 --> 00:17:20,697
and hey, listen. um...

352
00:17:20,730 --> 00:17:24,564
you're not gonna end up alone,
making meat loaf for one.

353
00:17:28,394 --> 00:17:30,062
and somewhere out there,

354
00:17:30,095 --> 00:17:32,062
there's a girl
who's just gonna--

355
00:17:32,095 --> 00:17:34,561
sorry. i can't do it.
it's too weird.

356
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,695
we tried.

357
00:17:56,928 --> 00:17:59,229
(whispers)
who is that guy?

358
00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:12,028
(man)
that was drake and romero!

359
00:18:12,062 --> 00:18:13,528
you guys are next.

360
00:18:13,561 --> 00:18:15,561
i will deny that we had
this conversation,

361
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,928
but i'm gonna give you guys
some extra light.

362
00:18:22,062 --> 00:18:24,028
i was just warming 'em up
for you, regina.

363
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:26,828
where's charlie?
poor thing hurt his knee,

364
00:18:26,862 --> 00:18:28,628
but fortunately,
my good friend mateo,

365
00:18:28,661 --> 00:18:31,095
3-time international
ballroom dancing champion,

366
00:18:31,129 --> 00:18:33,561
was able to be with me.
so when do i get my money?

367
00:18:33,595 --> 00:18:36,795
now please welcome next
to the floor--

368
00:18:36,828 --> 00:18:41,895
newly and newly...
and the cha-cha.

369
00:18:45,728 --> 00:18:47,795
you ready, regina?

370
00:18:47,828 --> 00:18:49,394
hurt your knee.

371
00:18:49,428 --> 00:18:51,394
i think the expression is
"break a leg."

372
00:18:51,428 --> 00:18:52,718
howard, i swear to god, if you
don't hurt your knee right now,

373
00:18:52,719 --> 00:18:53,573
i'll break it with a pipe.

374
00:18:58,386 --> 00:19:01,119
oh! oh!
the pain--it's on fire. oh!

375
00:19:01,153 --> 00:19:03,480
all right, easy, de niro.

376
00:19:03,481 --> 00:19:07,393
flamingo down. flamingo down.
weber and duncan on deck.

377
00:19:07,394 --> 00:19:08,488
we're on!
i don't believe it.
(panting)

378
00:19:09,986 --> 00:19:11,990
what's going on?
are you okay?

379
00:19:11,991 --> 00:19:13,730
i'm so happy you came.
oh.

380
00:19:13,731 --> 00:19:18,554
i was afraid that was gonna be our last fight.
no, mom. i want to have lots of fights with you.

381
00:19:20,233 --> 00:19:22,667
it's only been a year
since we started over, right?

382
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:25,633
what kid leaves home
after a year?

383
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:26,469
oh, it's getting worse.

384
00:19:26,470 --> 00:19:29,396
it's like a branding iron
searing my flesh.

385
00:19:29,397 --> 00:19:30,729
(under breath)
it hurts. we get it.

386
00:19:31,244 --> 00:19:33,677
(man) so... last chance
for newly and newly?

387
00:19:33,678 --> 00:19:35,578
not on your life. ready?

388
00:19:36,493 --> 00:19:38,994
what? me?
mom, you won't win.

389
00:19:39,027 --> 00:19:41,427
<i>no, samantha, we won't win.</i>

390
00:19:41,460 --> 00:19:44,927
i was hoping you would ask.

391
00:19:44,961 --> 00:19:47,627
here. take this. take this.
okay. oh, good.
all right.

392
00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:49,293
positions.
positions.

393
00:20:02,226 --> 00:20:05,527
oh, my god. we're doing it.
head.

394
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,660
<i>* lilly runs
when you look away *</i>

395
00:20:08,694 --> 00:20:11,093
<i>(samantha)
you know when you think</i>

396
00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:13,961
<i>something is going to go badly,
and it goes just okay,</i>

397
00:20:13,994 --> 00:20:17,360
<i>so you think
it's going great?</i>

398
00:20:17,393 --> 00:20:19,694
<i>it's probably worse
than you ever imagined.</i>

399
00:20:19,727 --> 00:20:21,860
<i>(pink martini) * lilly runs
when you look away *</i>

400
00:20:21,894 --> 00:20:25,493
<i>* lilly leaves kisses
on your collar *</i>

401
00:20:25,527 --> 00:20:28,894
<i>* lilly, lilly, lilly, lilly,
stay *</i>

402
00:20:28,927 --> 00:20:30,894
all right, are you sure
you want more light?

403
00:20:30,927 --> 00:20:32,860
because i was thinking
more darkness.

404
00:20:32,894 --> 00:20:35,427
<i>* pressed up
against the glass *</i>

405
00:20:35,460 --> 00:20:37,694
<i>* he prays that she will pass </i>

406
00:20:37,727 --> 00:20:39,220
<i>* now he's living
with his mother *</i>

407
00:20:41,843 --> 00:20:44,676
<i>* lilly comes
when you stop to call her *</i>

408
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:46,489
you know, we don't have to go
through this to see each other.

409
00:20:46,490 --> 00:20:49,657
just come over.
i'll be there.
it's good to know. thanks.

410
00:20:49,690 --> 00:20:51,238
well, call first.
i do have a life.
yeah.

411
00:20:52,416 --> 00:20:53,234
<i>(samantha)
okay, maybe i was wrong.</i>

412
00:20:53,235 --> 00:20:55,986
<i>maybe i didn't lose every
good thing with my amnesia.</i>

413
00:20:55,987 --> 00:20:58,364
<i>some things are in there
to discover.</i>

414
00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:01,706
<i>some can be relearned.</i>

415
00:21:01,739 --> 00:21:07,171
<i>and others,
if they're important,???</i>

