1
00:00:03,218 --> 00:00:05,246
All right, guys, this is
the last game in the season.
2
00:00:05,247 --> 00:00:07,214
If we dig deep, the Coed C-League
3
00:00:07,215 --> 00:00:09,817
Slow-Pitch Consolation
title will be ours.
4
00:00:09,818 --> 00:00:11,319
- Yeah!
- Yes.
5
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:12,920
Hey, Felix, what's our snack for today?
6
00:00:12,921 --> 00:00:14,689
Oh, nothing fancy.
7
00:00:14,690 --> 00:00:18,125
Just a hearty Tuscan white bean
soup and crusty peasant bread.
8
00:00:18,126 --> 00:00:20,061
There's no soup in softball.
9
00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:23,364
Hey... I only do this for the soup.
10
00:00:23,365 --> 00:00:25,433
Hey, guys.
11
00:00:25,434 --> 00:00:27,501
Oh, God. What happened?
12
00:00:27,502 --> 00:00:29,470
- Why are you limping?
- I was hanging out at
13
00:00:29,471 --> 00:00:31,472
this girl's apartment;
I pulled my groin.
14
00:00:31,473 --> 00:00:32,773
(all groan)
15
00:00:32,774 --> 00:00:35,376
Hey, it wasn't during sex.
16
00:00:35,377 --> 00:00:37,044
It was after, when her
boyfriend came home
17
00:00:37,045 --> 00:00:38,945
and I had to jump out the window.
18
00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:41,349
You're a class act, Murph.
19
00:00:41,350 --> 00:00:43,416
Right back at ya, Emily.
20
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,655
This is great. Out of all the people
21
00:00:47,656 --> 00:00:50,291
to get injured, it had to be
the former pro ballplayer.
22
00:00:50,292 --> 00:00:52,893
Oh, you guys are gonna
be fine without me.
23
00:00:52,894 --> 00:00:54,829
Hey, man, I'm Murph.
24
00:00:54,830 --> 00:00:56,597
Yeah, I know.
25
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,666
We play in the outfield together.
26
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,233
All season.
27
00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:02,703
Roy...?
28
00:01:02,704 --> 00:01:04,605
- What's up, Roy? Hey.
- Aw, geez.
29
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:07,208
Hey, Murph, I've got some muscle
ointment, if you'd like some.
30
00:01:07,209 --> 00:01:09,510
Are you a lavender guy
or more of a wild rose?
31
00:01:09,511 --> 00:01:11,345
(chuckles): I don't care.
32
00:01:11,346 --> 00:01:12,613
Lavender.
33
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,849
Of course, I only have the spray kind,
34
00:01:14,850 --> 00:01:16,283
because some people are uncomfortable
35
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:17,785
applying ointment to a friend.
36
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,688
Hi, I'm Some People.
37
00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:22,390
What are we gonna do without Murph?
38
00:01:22,391 --> 00:01:24,091
Yeah, it's bad enough
the league requires us
39
00:01:24,092 --> 00:01:25,393
to have girls on the team.
40
00:01:25,394 --> 00:01:26,961
I know you're not talking about me
41
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:30,097
and my .375 average,
Mr. Too Slow to Steal a Base.
42
00:01:30,098 --> 00:01:32,632
I had a belly full of soup.
43
00:01:33,501 --> 00:01:34,835
We better find somebody quick,
44
00:01:34,836 --> 00:01:36,370
or we're not gonna
have enough players.
45
00:01:36,371 --> 00:01:38,339
Who are we gonna get?
The game starts in 20 minutes.
46
00:01:38,340 --> 00:01:40,340
I could do it.
47
00:01:43,177 --> 00:01:45,846
Roy, didn't your wife play in college?
48
00:01:45,847 --> 00:01:49,750
I only do this to avoid my wife.
49
00:01:49,751 --> 00:01:51,085
Perhaps you didn't hear me.
50
00:01:51,086 --> 00:01:53,120
I'm available!
51
00:01:53,121 --> 00:01:55,021
How about Lisa down the hall?
52
00:01:55,856 --> 00:01:57,625
Guys, give me a chance!
53
00:01:57,626 --> 00:01:59,827
Felix, have you ever played softball?
54
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:01,896
Well, no, I always wanted
to, but softball season
55
00:02:01,897 --> 00:02:03,998
always conflicted with the fall musical.
56
00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,866
Which one year was Damn Yankees, so...
57
00:02:05,867 --> 00:02:07,700
♪ Whaddya say, boys? ♪
58
00:02:08,869 --> 00:02:10,438
The boys say no.
59
00:02:10,439 --> 00:02:12,039
♪ Ah, put me in, Coach ♪
60
00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:15,441
♪ I won't let ya down! ♪
61
00:02:16,944 --> 00:02:19,713
Felix, do you even have a mitt?
62
00:02:19,714 --> 00:02:22,216
I have an oven mitt.
63
00:02:22,217 --> 00:02:24,452
All right, you can play.
64
00:02:24,453 --> 00:02:25,820
Oh, great. I'll get my sneakers.
65
00:02:25,821 --> 00:02:27,421
We'll put him in right field.
66
00:02:27,422 --> 00:02:28,556
(chuckles): Oh, wonderful.
67
00:02:28,557 --> 00:02:30,857
The position by the long cabana.
68
00:02:33,894 --> 00:02:35,362
Oh, the dugout.
69
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:36,831
ALL: Oh!
70
00:02:36,832 --> 00:02:38,692
- It's like a cabana!
- It's like a cabana...
71
00:02:54,999 --> 00:02:59,939
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
72
00:03:03,506 --> 00:03:05,997
PLAYERS (chanting): Felix! Felix! Felix!
73
00:03:05,998 --> 00:03:07,132
(laughter)
74
00:03:07,133 --> 00:03:09,292
Thanks for letting me play, fellas.
75
00:03:09,293 --> 00:03:11,059
Actually, we should be thanking you.
76
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:13,095
You're the one that drove
Amy in for the winning run.
77
00:03:13,096 --> 00:03:14,840
Technically, he bunted her in.
78
00:03:14,841 --> 00:03:16,175
Yeah, because technically,
79
00:03:16,176 --> 00:03:18,711
you struck out with the bases loaded.
80
00:03:18,712 --> 00:03:20,179
Then you got mad, kicked the ground,
81
00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:22,614
missed that, too, and
fell on your ass. (laughs)
82
00:03:22,615 --> 00:03:26,851
Maybe that's because there
was soup on home plate.
83
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:29,855
Well, luckily Felix bailed you out.
84
00:03:29,856 --> 00:03:32,057
You got some quick hands.
85
00:03:32,058 --> 00:03:33,724
Oh, thank you. It's my cello training.
86
00:03:34,626 --> 00:03:36,061
There's a reason
87
00:03:36,062 --> 00:03:37,563
we're the bad boys of
the string quartet.
88
00:03:37,564 --> 00:03:39,031
(Felix laughs)
89
00:03:39,032 --> 00:03:40,799
Now if you excuse me, I've had my hand
90
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,368
in a strange man's mitt.
91
00:03:42,369 --> 00:03:43,602
No offense, Murph.
92
00:03:43,603 --> 00:03:46,071
Oh, none understood.
93
00:03:46,072 --> 00:03:48,774
This has got to be killing you.
94
00:03:48,775 --> 00:03:50,242
What are you talking about?
95
00:03:50,243 --> 00:03:51,643
That you were shown up by a guy
96
00:03:51,644 --> 00:03:54,413
who addresses the
umpire as "Your Honor."
97
00:03:54,414 --> 00:03:57,616
Come on, take it easy on Oscar.
98
00:03:57,617 --> 00:03:59,518
It happens sometimes.
99
00:03:59,519 --> 00:04:02,521
Is a sentence no guy likes to hear ever.
100
00:04:02,522 --> 00:04:04,022
I got to go.
101
00:04:04,023 --> 00:04:05,791
- Thanks for letting me play this season.
- Bye, girl.
102
00:04:05,792 --> 00:04:09,061
Hey, uh, Amy, the league
has a strict rule
103
00:04:09,062 --> 00:04:11,563
that at the end of the season,
the captain has to take
104
00:04:11,564 --> 00:04:13,766
one of the players out
to a romantic dinner.
105
00:04:13,767 --> 00:04:17,603
Wow. What a specific and weird rule.
106
00:04:17,604 --> 00:04:19,104
So will you help me out?
107
00:04:19,105 --> 00:04:21,439
I really don't want to have
to take Roy out again.
108
00:04:24,009 --> 00:04:26,278
Hey, I love your earrings.
Did you make them?
109
00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:28,147
Oh, I did. They're
part of my collection.
110
00:04:28,148 --> 00:04:30,015
Are they for sale?
111
00:04:30,016 --> 00:04:32,317
'Cause I'd love to buy a couple
pairs for my mom and sister.
112
00:04:32,318 --> 00:04:34,253
Yes, they're for sale.
They're so for sale.
113
00:04:34,254 --> 00:04:38,991
Uh, two pairs, that'll be... $200.
114
00:04:38,992 --> 00:04:40,759
That's it?
115
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,928
I would've thought they'd
be at least a thousand.
116
00:04:42,929 --> 00:04:44,863
Really?
117
00:04:44,864 --> 00:04:48,065
Oh, well, in that case,
thank you and damn it.
118
00:04:49,768 --> 00:04:50,903
That was so much fun.
119
00:04:50,904 --> 00:04:53,839
We should do sports more often.
120
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:55,707
Yeah, too bad it was the
last game of the season.
121
00:04:55,708 --> 00:04:57,509
Oh, well.
122
00:04:57,510 --> 00:04:59,945
Well, there are other sports.
You like basketball, don't you?
123
00:04:59,946 --> 00:05:02,448
Hey, did you know that there is
a basketball court at my gym.
124
00:05:02,449 --> 00:05:04,049
I know because I dart through there
125
00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:06,919
on the way to my abs and buns class.
126
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,287
You got lucky today, Felix.
127
00:05:08,288 --> 00:05:10,556
Just enjoy the win, quietly.
128
00:05:10,557 --> 00:05:14,026
Sounds like someone's afraid
of a second beat-down.
129
00:05:14,027 --> 00:05:15,427
OTHERS: Oh!
130
00:05:15,428 --> 00:05:16,695
Oh, yeah, Oscar.
131
00:05:16,696 --> 00:05:18,664
Afraid that I'm gonna bring the pain?
132
00:05:18,665 --> 00:05:21,967
That's what Estoban
says in my buns class.
133
00:05:21,968 --> 00:05:23,769
All right, Felix, we
can play basketball.
134
00:05:23,770 --> 00:05:26,104
- All right!
- Game's on!
135
00:05:26,105 --> 00:05:29,341
(imitates seal barking)
136
00:05:29,342 --> 00:05:30,942
All right, you're done.
137
00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:36,482
Okay, we'll play "make it, take it" rules.
138
00:05:36,483 --> 00:05:38,550
Means if I make a basket, I keep the ball
139
00:05:38,551 --> 00:05:40,385
unless I miss or you steal it.
140
00:05:40,386 --> 00:05:44,089
Okay. In the spirit of
sportsmanship, you may go first.
141
00:05:44,090 --> 00:05:46,692
Ah, your first mistake.
Once I get on a roll...
142
00:05:46,693 --> 00:05:48,893
The cellist strikes!
143
00:05:52,998 --> 00:05:54,633
I make it, so I take it.
144
00:05:54,634 --> 00:05:56,568
You don't have to say that every time.
145
00:05:56,569 --> 00:05:57,870
Ooh, I'm in your head.
146
00:05:57,871 --> 00:05:59,804
All right, this time I'm ready for you.
147
00:06:04,376 --> 00:06:05,344
Two-nothing!
148
00:06:05,345 --> 00:06:07,244
I make it, so I take it!
149
00:06:09,548 --> 00:06:11,049
God, that was exhilarating.
150
00:06:11,050 --> 00:06:12,918
Yeah. Exhilarating.
151
00:06:12,919 --> 00:06:14,152
Who won?
152
00:06:14,153 --> 00:06:16,555
- It doesn't matter.
- I did!
153
00:06:16,556 --> 00:06:18,290
Wow! Congratulations, Felix.
154
00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:20,425
Oh, not just to me... you would
have been proud of our boy.
155
00:06:20,426 --> 00:06:21,927
He really hung in there.
Right, champ?
156
00:06:21,928 --> 00:06:22,995
Ow.
157
00:06:22,996 --> 00:06:24,863
Wow, still really sweaty.
158
00:06:24,864 --> 00:06:27,065
I feel like you're patronizing me.
159
00:06:27,066 --> 00:06:28,901
What do you mean?
160
00:06:28,902 --> 00:06:31,470
It's bad enough to lose, but
to lose to somebody like you...
161
00:06:31,471 --> 00:06:33,338
Ooh!
162
00:06:33,339 --> 00:06:36,575
I'm sorry, did you say
"someone like you"?
163
00:06:36,576 --> 00:06:38,977
Ooh...!
164
00:06:38,978 --> 00:06:42,680
Uh, I think I left my,
uh, thing in a place.
165
00:06:44,049 --> 00:06:45,784
When you say someone like me,
what exactly do you mean?
166
00:06:45,785 --> 00:06:48,053
- Do you mean a freelance photographer?
- No.
167
00:06:48,054 --> 00:06:49,555
Do you mean a Virgo
with a Pisces rising?
168
00:06:49,556 --> 00:06:51,523
- No.
- Do you mean a wimp?
169
00:06:51,524 --> 00:06:52,991
- Your words, not mine.
- Ah!
170
00:06:52,992 --> 00:06:54,459
Oh, come on, Felix, admit it,
171
00:06:54,460 --> 00:06:56,361
you're not exactly a guy's guy.
172
00:06:56,362 --> 00:06:57,996
Why? Because I use coasters?
173
00:06:57,997 --> 00:07:00,165
Because I sing the occasional
aria in the shower?
174
00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:03,402
Because I know the pleats
on a kilt go in the back?!
175
00:07:03,403 --> 00:07:06,138
I feel like you're
trying my case for me.
176
00:07:06,139 --> 00:07:08,206
I thought today was about
bonding and fellowship,
177
00:07:08,207 --> 00:07:10,409
but it turns out you
just wanted to beat me
178
00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:11,910
so you could feel superior.
179
00:07:11,911 --> 00:07:14,578
Well, guess what, sir, you
have poked the dragon.
180
00:07:15,747 --> 00:07:17,716
And you would know what
that means if you ever
181
00:07:17,717 --> 00:07:19,918
- watched even one
- Game of Thrones with me.
182
00:07:19,919 --> 00:07:21,553
I don't need to watch the show
183
00:07:21,554 --> 00:07:24,823
to know that it's bad to poke a dragon.
184
00:07:24,824 --> 00:07:26,959
Well, I have already
bested you at two sports,
185
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,861
but if you'd like another
drubbing... yes, that's a word...
186
00:07:29,862 --> 00:07:31,797
I will oblige you.
187
00:07:31,798 --> 00:07:33,832
I feel like you'll just pick
something else you're good at,
188
00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,334
like crochet.
189
00:07:35,335 --> 00:07:36,468
You mean croquet.
190
00:07:36,469 --> 00:07:38,770
No, I don't.
191
00:07:38,771 --> 00:07:41,505
Well, guess who is not getting
mittens this Christmas.
192
00:07:42,574 --> 00:07:45,176
Perhaps your disdain will keep you warm.
193
00:07:46,912 --> 00:07:49,514
Pick a real sport, and
I'll beat you at it.
194
00:07:49,515 --> 00:07:52,951
Okay, I say we settle this
like the ancient Greeks.
195
00:07:52,952 --> 00:07:55,821
I don't like where this is going.
196
00:07:55,822 --> 00:07:58,256
We each pick five events...
a classic decathlon.
197
00:07:58,257 --> 00:07:59,257
You're on!
198
00:07:59,258 --> 00:08:00,325
It's settled then.
199
00:08:00,326 --> 00:08:02,194
Decathlon at dawn!
200
00:08:02,195 --> 00:08:04,096
Dawn?
201
00:08:04,097 --> 00:08:05,230
No, you're right.
202
00:08:05,231 --> 00:08:07,298
Decathlon at a reasonable hour!
203
00:08:16,281 --> 00:08:19,317
Hey! I sold a bracelet on a Web site.
204
00:08:19,318 --> 00:08:21,052
- Congratulations!
- I know!
205
00:08:21,053 --> 00:08:23,009
I sent it off, and she promised me
206
00:08:23,010 --> 00:08:24,842
that the check is in the mail.
207
00:08:25,978 --> 00:08:28,047
I'm bad at this, aren't I?
208
00:08:28,048 --> 00:08:30,082
Why are you stretching?
209
00:08:30,083 --> 00:08:32,284
Oh, Oscar and I are
competing in a decathlon,
210
00:08:32,285 --> 00:08:34,887
and I don't want to pull
anything when I kick his ass.
211
00:08:34,888 --> 00:08:37,656
That doesn't sound like you.
212
00:08:37,657 --> 00:08:39,191
Yes, I apologize for the salty language,
213
00:08:39,192 --> 00:08:40,459
but he really pushed my buttons.
214
00:08:40,460 --> 00:08:42,193
He said I wasn't a guy's guy.
215
00:08:44,863 --> 00:08:46,398
That's crazy.
216
00:08:46,399 --> 00:08:48,500
Is it?
217
00:08:48,501 --> 00:08:50,903
You know, I really wasn't
much of a jock growing up.
218
00:08:50,904 --> 00:08:54,272
Although, junior year, I was
voted "Most Limber Boy."
219
00:08:54,907 --> 00:08:56,175
But mostly I was just
220
00:08:56,176 --> 00:08:58,177
the kid picked last for teams.
221
00:08:58,178 --> 00:09:02,114
I pretended like I didn't care,
but... it really hurt.
222
00:09:02,115 --> 00:09:05,250
Yesterday, I was right back
there on that playground.
223
00:09:05,251 --> 00:09:07,186
I'm so sorry.
224
00:09:07,187 --> 00:09:09,355
Yes, well, today, I take a stand
225
00:09:09,356 --> 00:09:12,523
for every boy that was
limber and laughed at.
226
00:09:16,762 --> 00:09:19,865
Maybe don't do a ballet
pose when you say that.
227
00:09:19,866 --> 00:09:23,034
It's just the way my body rests.
228
00:09:24,236 --> 00:09:26,572
Look at him, all smug and bendy.
229
00:09:26,573 --> 00:09:28,540
He's not the only one who can stretch.
230
00:09:28,541 --> 00:09:31,610
(whines)
231
00:09:31,611 --> 00:09:33,345
Why are you so worked up about all this?
232
00:09:33,346 --> 00:09:35,247
Because he's attacking
me on my home turf,
233
00:09:35,248 --> 00:09:37,248
and I got to defend myself.
234
00:09:38,217 --> 00:09:39,917
A little help?
235
00:09:42,254 --> 00:09:45,791
Oh, great, now it's asleep.
236
00:09:45,792 --> 00:09:48,026
You ready?
237
00:09:48,027 --> 00:09:50,028
Ooh, I was born ready.
238
00:09:50,029 --> 00:09:52,965
And covered in a downy fur.
239
00:09:52,966 --> 00:09:55,734
I was in the local paper.
240
00:09:55,735 --> 00:09:57,936
First event's at the gym. Let's do this.
241
00:09:57,937 --> 00:10:00,572
Yeah, let's get it on, Greek style!
242
00:10:00,573 --> 00:10:02,374
I'm gonna ask you to walk in front of me
243
00:10:02,375 --> 00:10:04,410
when you say stuff like that.
244
00:10:04,411 --> 00:10:06,777
♪
245
00:10:23,295 --> 00:10:24,296
(thudding)
246
00:10:24,297 --> 00:10:25,898
(laughs) Oh, my God.
247
00:10:25,899 --> 00:10:27,865
♪
248
00:10:55,027 --> 00:10:57,061
(sneezes)
249
00:11:05,137 --> 00:11:06,805
Hey, what's going on?
250
00:11:06,806 --> 00:11:09,341
Tiebreaker event... whoever wins
this, wins the whole thing.
251
00:11:09,342 --> 00:11:11,610
- What's the score?
- 37-37.
252
00:11:11,611 --> 00:11:13,545
They play until somebody wins by two.
253
00:11:13,546 --> 00:11:16,515
Or until Oscar passes out.
254
00:11:16,516 --> 00:11:17,983
Or away.
255
00:11:17,984 --> 00:11:19,885
(laughs)
256
00:11:19,886 --> 00:11:22,120
I'm Murph, by the way.
257
00:11:22,121 --> 00:11:24,389
Seriously?
258
00:11:24,390 --> 00:11:26,792
We've met, like, 20 times.
259
00:11:26,793 --> 00:11:31,196
We had this exact
conversation yesterday.
260
00:11:31,197 --> 00:11:33,632
I'm Roy.
261
00:11:33,633 --> 00:11:36,300
What's up, Roy?
262
00:11:38,871 --> 00:11:41,473
Oh, hey, Emily...
263
00:11:41,474 --> 00:11:43,709
my mom loved the earrings.
264
00:11:43,710 --> 00:11:45,711
Oh, I'm so happy to hear that.
265
00:11:45,712 --> 00:11:47,880
In fact, I want to buy five more pairs.
266
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,348
Fantastic!
267
00:11:49,349 --> 00:11:52,184
I will tell the factory
to ramp up production.
268
00:11:52,185 --> 00:11:53,852
Oh...
269
00:11:53,853 --> 00:11:55,387
I'm just... there's no factory.
270
00:11:55,388 --> 00:11:56,922
It's just me.
271
00:11:56,923 --> 00:11:58,557
That's just a little
small-business humor.
272
00:11:58,558 --> 00:11:59,992
(laughter)
273
00:11:59,993 --> 00:12:01,760
Ah! You're hilarious.
274
00:12:01,761 --> 00:12:03,662
(laughs)
275
00:12:03,663 --> 00:12:05,964
Ah, I think Murph's got
a little crush on you.
276
00:12:05,965 --> 00:12:09,201
- What?
- Nobody needs seven pairs of earrings.
277
00:12:09,202 --> 00:12:11,837
And he thinks you're hilarious.
278
00:12:11,838 --> 00:12:14,506
When, at best, you're amusing.
279
00:12:14,507 --> 00:12:16,842
You know, he has been
a little flirty with me.
280
00:12:16,843 --> 00:12:18,944
- Mm-hmm.
- This is so awkward.
281
00:12:18,945 --> 00:12:21,213
I'm... He's not really my type.
282
00:12:21,214 --> 00:12:23,849
Yeah, he's so handsome and rich,
283
00:12:23,850 --> 00:12:25,584
and rumored to be a fantastic lover.
284
00:12:25,585 --> 00:12:27,219
You should run, girl.
285
00:12:27,220 --> 00:12:28,787
No. My type is just more...
286
00:12:28,788 --> 00:12:31,557
emotionally evolved.
287
00:12:31,558 --> 00:12:33,025
Mm.
288
00:12:33,026 --> 00:12:35,093
No, he's sensitive,
289
00:12:35,094 --> 00:12:36,828
- artistic...
- Mm.
290
00:12:36,829 --> 00:12:38,697
...easy to talk to.
291
00:12:38,698 --> 00:12:40,765
- Like Felix.
- No, I don't.
292
00:12:42,768 --> 00:12:44,636
Ha!
293
00:12:44,637 --> 00:12:48,373
I'm like a cat. Felix the cat!
294
00:12:48,374 --> 00:12:50,508
Ha, ha! Go fetch, kitty cat!
295
00:12:52,244 --> 00:12:54,012
Boy, Oscar's pretty intense, huh?
296
00:12:54,013 --> 00:12:55,847
Imagine what he'll be like if he loses.
297
00:12:55,848 --> 00:12:57,516
You'll never hear the end of it.
298
00:12:57,517 --> 00:12:59,551
- Oh, I don't care.
- Okay, let me rephrase that.
299
00:12:59,552 --> 00:13:01,153
I'll never hear the end of it.
300
00:13:01,154 --> 00:13:02,721
(in whiny voice): "Aah, he cheated.
301
00:13:02,722 --> 00:13:04,523
"The sun was in my eyes.
302
00:13:04,524 --> 00:13:06,091
"I was too drunk.
303
00:13:06,092 --> 00:13:08,793
I wasn't drunk enough".
304
00:13:09,728 --> 00:13:12,164
I'm begging you, let him win.
305
00:13:12,165 --> 00:13:13,899
Never. Why would I do that?
306
00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:15,334
Here's the thing about Oscar.
307
00:13:15,335 --> 00:13:17,202
He grew up dreaming of
being a great athlete
308
00:13:17,203 --> 00:13:19,605
until we went to high school,
and his coach told him
309
00:13:19,606 --> 00:13:21,273
he had the body of a sportscaster.
310
00:13:21,274 --> 00:13:24,276
Now he spends his life
surrounded by great athletes.
311
00:13:24,277 --> 00:13:27,512
Always on the sideline,
never on the field.
312
00:13:27,513 --> 00:13:29,281
I didn't know that.
313
00:13:29,282 --> 00:13:32,517
So, be the bigger man and let him win.
314
00:13:32,518 --> 00:13:36,154
So you're saying, if I let him win...
315
00:13:36,155 --> 00:13:37,589
Yeah.
316
00:13:37,590 --> 00:13:39,657
...then I am... the ultimate winner.
317
00:13:40,626 --> 00:13:43,362
Sure. Why not?
318
00:13:43,363 --> 00:13:45,297
Better go.
319
00:13:45,298 --> 00:13:46,665
All right.
320
00:13:46,666 --> 00:13:48,899
42-41. Game point.
321
00:13:49,835 --> 00:13:51,269
- Aah!
- Yes!
322
00:13:51,270 --> 00:13:52,704
- Aah!
- I win!
323
00:13:52,705 --> 00:13:53,705
Victory is mine!
324
00:13:53,706 --> 00:13:55,107
I win!
325
00:13:55,108 --> 00:13:57,775
Oh, the despair.
326
00:13:59,511 --> 00:14:02,581
God, that was exhilarating.
327
00:14:02,582 --> 00:14:05,684
Yes, you've mentioned that...
five or six times.
328
00:14:05,685 --> 00:14:08,086
Because you... ♪ Suck! ♪
329
00:14:08,087 --> 00:14:11,356
Okay, off-key, and the jazz
hands were unmotivated.
330
00:14:11,357 --> 00:14:13,558
But you are the winner.
331
00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:15,594
Oh, that's weird.
332
00:14:15,595 --> 00:14:18,530
I must have left the ticker on.
333
00:14:18,531 --> 00:14:21,566
How do you get that up there so fast?
334
00:14:21,567 --> 00:14:23,835
I have an app.
335
00:14:23,836 --> 00:14:26,171
Well, I'm glad this means so much to you.
336
00:14:26,172 --> 00:14:28,306
Congratulations on your win.
337
00:14:28,307 --> 00:14:31,143
Oh, I didn't just win. I
beat you like a dirty rug.
338
00:14:31,144 --> 00:14:33,111
Okay, except nobody cleans
rugs like that anymore
339
00:14:33,112 --> 00:14:36,581
'cause we don't live on The Waltons.
340
00:14:36,582 --> 00:14:37,916
Don't be a sore loser.
341
00:14:37,917 --> 00:14:39,685
I'm not sore.
342
00:14:39,686 --> 00:14:41,852
In fact, I'm not a loser at all... look!
343
00:14:42,754 --> 00:14:45,157
What?!
344
00:14:45,158 --> 00:14:46,825
You didn't let me win.
345
00:14:46,826 --> 00:14:48,293
Yes, I did. I threw the game
346
00:14:48,294 --> 00:14:49,795
because you are such a
big baby when you lose.
347
00:14:49,796 --> 00:14:51,930
I am not!
348
00:14:51,931 --> 00:14:54,132
Face it, Oscar... I'm the better athlete.
349
00:14:54,133 --> 00:14:56,301
All right, let's settle this like men.
350
00:14:56,302 --> 00:14:58,302
What does that mean?
351
00:15:00,105 --> 00:15:01,540
Wrestling?!
352
00:15:01,541 --> 00:15:03,208
(laughing): Oh, don't be ridiculous.
353
00:15:03,209 --> 00:15:05,277
I would never stoop to...
354
00:15:05,278 --> 00:15:06,710
the cellist strikes!
355
00:15:11,917 --> 00:15:13,719
Ow! Oh! Oh, my neck! Aah! Aah!
356
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,153
- What happened?
- Oh, neck spasm!
357
00:15:15,154 --> 00:15:16,588
Oh, it's traveling down my spine.
358
00:15:16,589 --> 00:15:17,889
It's in my buttock. Aah!
359
00:15:17,890 --> 00:15:19,558
Quick, massage my buttock!
360
00:15:19,559 --> 00:15:20,992
I'm not gonna do that.
361
00:15:20,993 --> 00:15:22,260
Okay, then get me to the couch.
362
00:15:22,261 --> 00:15:25,464
- Aah! Aah!
- What is it?
363
00:15:25,465 --> 00:15:28,266
My back! I threw out my back!
I can't stand up.
364
00:15:28,267 --> 00:15:31,336
- Aah. I think we overdid the exercising.
- Yeah.
365
00:15:31,337 --> 00:15:33,739
But you went down first,
which makes me the winner.
366
00:15:33,740 --> 00:15:35,140
Yes!
367
00:15:35,141 --> 00:15:36,608
No!
368
00:15:36,609 --> 00:15:38,677
Pain! White-hot pain!
369
00:15:38,678 --> 00:15:40,846
(laughs) Oh, it hurts to laugh! Ow.
370
00:15:40,847 --> 00:15:42,447
(both groaning)
371
00:15:42,448 --> 00:15:44,883
(all laughing)
372
00:15:44,884 --> 00:15:46,718
Jessica.
373
00:15:46,719 --> 00:15:48,687
Hey, how are you?
374
00:15:48,688 --> 00:15:50,122
You slept with my friend!
375
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,923
And you know how I know?
376
00:15:51,924 --> 00:15:53,925
You gave her the same earrings
377
00:15:53,926 --> 00:15:57,561
that you gave me after
we slept together.
378
00:15:59,231 --> 00:16:01,900
Uh, is that why you're buying
all that jewelry from Emily?
379
00:16:01,901 --> 00:16:03,969
To give women a parting gift after sex?
380
00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:05,903
I was trying to be thoughtful.
381
00:16:06,972 --> 00:16:08,607
You know what's thoughtful?
382
00:16:08,608 --> 00:16:12,276
Remembering a teammate's
name, you son of a bitch.
383
00:16:16,414 --> 00:16:20,985
Boy, that little dude is fired up.
384
00:16:22,921 --> 00:16:24,755
What's his name again?
385
00:16:26,091 --> 00:16:28,460
- Here you go.
- Ooh. Hold on here. Just, uh...
386
00:16:28,461 --> 00:16:29,828
Keep the change.
387
00:16:29,829 --> 00:16:31,797
Oh, that's too much.
388
00:16:31,798 --> 00:16:33,198
No. You deserve it.
389
00:16:33,199 --> 00:16:35,700
Murph, we need to talk.
390
00:16:35,701 --> 00:16:38,737
Uh, Emily... Okay.
391
00:16:38,738 --> 00:16:42,374
Look, I really appreciate the
tips and the jewelry-buying,
392
00:16:42,375 --> 00:16:46,478
but I'm just not interested
in you in that way.
393
00:16:46,479 --> 00:16:48,280
What way?
394
00:16:48,281 --> 00:16:50,515
(whispering): I know
about your little crush.
395
00:16:50,516 --> 00:16:54,451
Oh. Okay.
396
00:16:55,654 --> 00:16:58,056
Damn.
397
00:16:58,057 --> 00:16:59,724
I'm sorry.
398
00:16:59,725 --> 00:17:02,627
I hope this doesn't make
things weird between us.
399
00:17:02,628 --> 00:17:07,164
Well, I mean, it might,
but I'll get over it.
400
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:10,602
Aw.
401
00:17:10,603 --> 00:17:12,170
That was sweet.
402
00:17:12,171 --> 00:17:14,306
- You could have just told her the truth.
- Yeah.
403
00:17:14,307 --> 00:17:16,174
So what's her deal, anyway?
404
00:17:16,175 --> 00:17:17,742
She seeing anyone?
405
00:17:17,743 --> 00:17:19,845
Why?
406
00:17:19,846 --> 00:17:21,580
Nobody's ever rejected me before.
407
00:17:21,581 --> 00:17:23,081
It's kind of hot.
408
00:17:23,082 --> 00:17:25,849
Oh, Murph, come here.
409
00:17:28,386 --> 00:17:30,555
Ow! That hurt.
410
00:17:30,556 --> 00:17:33,425
So, um, what's your deal?
411
00:17:33,426 --> 00:17:34,858
Are you single?
412
00:17:44,436 --> 00:17:45,836
Cobweb.
413
00:17:48,039 --> 00:17:49,574
You're just seeing that now?
414
00:17:49,575 --> 00:17:52,544
It's been stabbing me in
the heart for two hours.
415
00:17:52,545 --> 00:17:54,279
Can I ask you a question?
416
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,780
Sure.
417
00:17:55,781 --> 00:17:57,849
Was I dreaming, or did you tell me
418
00:17:57,850 --> 00:17:59,551
that you were born covered in fur?
419
00:17:59,552 --> 00:18:02,954
It's called "lanugo""
420
00:18:02,955 --> 00:18:05,056
For Halloween, Mom dressed up as Dorothy
421
00:18:05,057 --> 00:18:08,059
and carried me around
in a wicker basket.
422
00:18:08,060 --> 00:18:09,494
Aah! Aah! Aah!
423
00:18:09,495 --> 00:18:10,962
Oh, wow, neck still hurts.
424
00:18:10,963 --> 00:18:12,998
Serves me right.
425
00:18:12,999 --> 00:18:16,134
That's what I get for trying
to prove I'm one of the guys.
426
00:18:16,135 --> 00:18:17,736
(groaning) What are you talking about?
427
00:18:17,737 --> 00:18:20,171
(groans) I see the way
you are with your buddies.
428
00:18:20,172 --> 00:18:22,107
I wish I could be part of that.
429
00:18:22,108 --> 00:18:23,575
The camaraderie,
430
00:18:23,576 --> 00:18:25,943
the bursting of each other's balls.
431
00:18:30,682 --> 00:18:32,918
It's "busting..."
432
00:18:32,919 --> 00:18:34,819
and so you're not that kind of guy.
433
00:18:34,820 --> 00:18:37,255
You got your own crazy stuff going on.
434
00:18:37,256 --> 00:18:39,758
You cook, you do the
crossword puzzle in ink,
435
00:18:39,759 --> 00:18:41,293
you play that big guitar.
436
00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:43,595
- Cello.
- Cello.
437
00:18:43,596 --> 00:18:45,764
If I knew that stuff, you think I'd care
438
00:18:45,765 --> 00:18:49,099
about impressing the guys in
some stupid softball game?
439
00:18:50,068 --> 00:18:51,937
Oscar, are you saying you admire me?
440
00:18:51,938 --> 00:18:57,141
I'm saying I'm glad you're not
afraid to be a cultured weirdo.
441
00:18:58,243 --> 00:19:00,911
No offense. I'm just bursting your balls.
442
00:19:02,213 --> 00:19:04,882
And I envy how good
you are at being a dude.
443
00:19:06,451 --> 00:19:08,653
Thank you.
444
00:19:08,654 --> 00:19:11,389
And you're welcome to play
on my softball team any time.
445
00:19:11,390 --> 00:19:13,491
You're quite a bunter.
446
00:19:13,492 --> 00:19:16,227
Since we're being honest, I did
not know what bunting was.
447
00:19:16,228 --> 00:19:19,163
I was swinging as hard as I could.
448
00:19:20,632 --> 00:19:22,400
- (knocking on door)
- MURPH: Oscar? Felix?
449
00:19:22,401 --> 00:19:24,134
Oh, Murph. Thank God. Come in!
450
00:19:25,337 --> 00:19:26,671
Oh, God, uh, sorry.
451
00:19:26,672 --> 00:19:28,006
I can... I can come back.
452
00:19:28,007 --> 00:19:29,407
- No! No!
- No! No! No! No! No!
453
00:19:29,408 --> 00:19:31,509
No. We overdid it. We hurt our backs.
454
00:19:31,510 --> 00:19:32,877
Oh...!
455
00:19:32,878 --> 00:19:34,145
Yeah, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
456
00:19:34,146 --> 00:19:35,979
You're just super weak.
457
00:19:37,682 --> 00:19:39,985
Murph, you probably hear
this all the time, but...
458
00:19:39,986 --> 00:19:42,087
carry me to the bedroom.
459
00:19:42,088 --> 00:19:43,921
(sighs)
460
00:19:45,623 --> 00:19:47,759
(Murph groans)
461
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,327
So, how about that game last night?
462
00:19:49,328 --> 00:19:52,262
- Which game?
- Any game. It doesn't matter.
463
00:19:54,666 --> 00:19:56,067
Oscar?
464
00:19:56,068 --> 00:19:57,502
Oh, thank God.
465
00:19:57,503 --> 00:19:59,304
My date is here.
466
00:19:59,305 --> 00:20:02,007
Oh. Hi. Am I early?
467
00:20:02,008 --> 00:20:03,641
No, you're right on time.
468
00:20:03,642 --> 00:20:07,746
I just tweaked my back doing
something really masculine.
469
00:20:07,747 --> 00:20:09,147
Actually, why don't you rest up?
470
00:20:09,148 --> 00:20:10,448
We can do this another time.
471
00:20:10,449 --> 00:20:12,083
- Bye.
- Amy, wait!
472
00:20:12,084 --> 00:20:14,519
Murph, take me to her.
473
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,555
Seriously, Oscar, I'll call and reschedule.
474
00:20:17,556 --> 00:20:20,492
Take care.
475
00:20:20,493 --> 00:20:22,193
She's not gonna call.
476
00:20:22,194 --> 00:20:25,263
Dude, I'm cradling you like a baby.
477
00:20:25,264 --> 00:20:27,365
Oh! Oh! My groin! Aah.
478
00:20:27,366 --> 00:20:29,134
Just kidding. I'm super fit.
479
00:20:29,135 --> 00:20:31,269
- (laughing)
- Murph?
480
00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:32,637
Lift with your legs,
481
00:20:32,638 --> 00:20:35,506
or you could literally burst your balls.
482
00:20:42,672 --> 00:20:44,865
- Well, Oscar, thank you for dinner.
- My pleasure.
483
00:20:44,866 --> 00:20:47,166
And I know things got
a little tense between us,
484
00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:50,469
but I hope I'm still on the,
you know, mitten list.
485
00:20:51,371 --> 00:20:54,607
That's between you and Santa Claus.
486
00:20:54,608 --> 00:20:56,042
Ah. Shall we?
487
00:20:56,043 --> 00:20:57,644
- Aah. Ooh. Aah.
- Ooh.
488
00:20:57,645 --> 00:20:59,612
- You okay?
- No, my neck.
489
00:20:59,613 --> 00:21:01,347
I don't think I can make it to a cab.
490
00:21:01,348 --> 00:21:03,650
Murph?
491
00:21:03,651 --> 00:21:06,385
(sighs)
492
00:21:09,589 --> 00:21:11,724
Oh!
493
00:21:11,725 --> 00:21:13,921
It's like a little ball of muscle.
494
00:21:13,922 --> 00:21:16,666
Buns and abs, Mondays at 9:00.
495
00:21:18,248 --> 00:21:25,984
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.