1
00:00:00,744 --> 00:00:01,951
Okay, I'm off to work.
2
00:00:01,951 --> 00:00:04,378
Oh, the hell you are!
3
00:00:05,087 --> 00:00:05,939
What?
4
00:00:06,989 --> 00:00:09,568
Gabi, this place is messier than your life.
5
00:00:09,624 --> 00:00:12,292
Okay, well, when I sleep
out here, this is my bedroom.
6
00:00:12,293 --> 00:00:15,005
Okay, but when we wake
up, it is our living room.
7
00:00:15,243 --> 00:00:16,735
Fine.
8
00:00:19,373 --> 00:00:21,441
Cleaning is so hard.
9
00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:26,303
(Grunting)
10
00:00:26,305 --> 00:00:27,706
Ugh!
11
00:00:30,359 --> 00:00:31,533
Happy?
12
00:00:31,534 --> 00:00:33,977
I will be when we get
a two-bedroom apartment.
13
00:00:33,978 --> 00:00:37,399
Well, you're never gonna be, then, because
nobody leaves this rent-controlled building
14
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,235
unless they're rolled out of here.
15
00:00:39,235 --> 00:00:40,636
(Both gasp)
16
00:00:42,434 --> 00:00:43,602
Oh, my God!
17
00:00:43,603 --> 00:00:45,471
That's Mrs. Jacobsen from 2B.
18
00:00:45,472 --> 00:00:46,874
Wha-what happened?
19
00:00:46,875 --> 00:00:47,692
She fell.
20
00:00:47,693 --> 00:00:50,297
She stumbled from the master
bedroom, through the guest bathroom,
21
00:00:50,298 --> 00:00:51,853
hit her head on the washer/dryer,
22
00:00:51,854 --> 00:00:53,357
then collapsed in the second bedroom.
23
00:00:53,527 --> 00:00:55,029
Dead.
24
00:00:55,087 --> 00:00:58,106
Oh, my God, I can't
believe Mrs. Jacobsen...
25
00:00:58,107 --> 00:00:59,875
had a second bedroom!
26
00:01:00,039 --> 00:01:03,313
Gabi, poor Mrs. Jacobsen!
May she rest in peace.
27
00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,883
Yes, and may I rest in her second bedroom!
28
00:01:05,884 --> 00:01:07,519
Okay, that is so mean.
29
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,922
Really? Meaner than when she called
you a whore for wearing pants?
30
00:01:09,923 --> 00:01:11,507
Oh, that's right.
31
00:01:11,508 --> 00:01:14,310
We are so getting that
dead bitch's apartment.
32
00:01:15,071 --> 00:01:16,839
Well, how? I mean, this is San Francisco.
33
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,251
Apartments are really hard to find.
34
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:20,020
I bet that paramedic already
has an application in for it.
35
00:01:20,021 --> 00:01:21,476
Yeah, but we know the landlord.
36
00:01:21,477 --> 00:01:23,260
So, all we gotta do is
convince him to give it to us.
37
00:01:23,261 --> 00:01:26,370
And, I read an article that said you
can get anything you want from a man
38
00:01:26,371 --> 00:01:28,230
if you give him food or sex.
39
00:01:28,846 --> 00:01:30,926
You had to read an article to know that?
40
00:01:31,843 --> 00:01:33,337
- Dibs on food!
- Wait!
41
00:01:34,699 --> 00:01:36,634
(Theme music playing)
42
00:01:39,932 --> 00:01:42,101
♪ She's in the spotlight ♪
43
00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:43,919
♪ And she turned my head ♪
44
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:45,905
♪ She'd run a red light ♪
45
00:01:45,905 --> 00:01:47,640
♪ 'Cause she's bad like that ♪
46
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,643
♪ I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby ♪
47
00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:51,677
♪ Baby ♪
48
00:01:51,677 --> 00:01:54,080
♪ I like that ooh, baby ooh, baby ♪
49
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:57,414
Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.addic7ed.com -
50
00:01:57,717 --> 00:02:01,487
Wow, you're going all
out for Josh's breakfast.
51
00:02:01,487 --> 00:02:03,622
What mistake are you
making up for this time?
52
00:02:03,622 --> 00:02:07,393
Actually, I'm making pierogies
to butter up my Russian landlord.
53
00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:09,996
Oh. So you don't just screw up our lives?
54
00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:12,277
No. Didn't I tell you the good news?
55
00:02:12,278 --> 00:02:14,567
The lady across the hall died of a stroke!
56
00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:18,504
Good morning, beautiful people!
57
00:02:18,504 --> 00:02:19,905
You know who's starving? Me.
58
00:02:19,905 --> 00:02:21,304
You know why? Sex.
59
00:02:21,305 --> 00:02:22,675
You know how much? Tons.
60
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:25,136
You know how they say
61
00:02:25,137 --> 00:02:27,451
older women are awesome 'cause
they know all kinds of stuff?
62
00:02:27,452 --> 00:02:29,251
(Giggling) They do.
63
00:02:30,649 --> 00:02:32,752
Older women? Who's the lucky lady?
64
00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:34,387
Hey!
65
00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:37,490
No! You picked her over me?
66
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:40,561
Sorry, Elliot. I got a
little something Josh wants.
67
00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:42,748
You got a little something he doesn't.
68
00:02:44,096 --> 00:02:45,766
I don't want anything from either of you.
69
00:02:45,767 --> 00:02:47,297
Because I'm getting plenty from Shauna.
70
00:02:48,768 --> 00:02:52,104
Josh is just letting me stay here
'cause I got in a fight with Coleman.
71
00:02:52,104 --> 00:02:54,673
What? You guys just moved in
together? You're already fighting?
72
00:02:54,673 --> 00:02:57,201
I know. But, I didn't like
the way he tipped the waitress.
73
00:02:57,202 --> 00:02:59,545
- Oh, what'd he leave her?
- His phone number.
74
00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:02,882
Hi, lover.
75
00:03:02,882 --> 00:03:04,884
And I'm talking to the tall, white one.
76
00:03:05,395 --> 00:03:08,884
Guys, this is my girlfriend.
77
00:03:08,903 --> 00:03:12,219
Oh my God, you're not a
girl, you're Shauna Stevens!
78
00:03:12,220 --> 00:03:14,265
You're the tech reporter for ABC News.
79
00:03:14,266 --> 00:03:17,503
My boyfriend's a programmer, and he
has a poster of you above his bed.
80
00:03:17,635 --> 00:03:19,673
Oh, so he's the one who bought that.
81
00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:21,939
She's being modest.
82
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:24,813
She actually has two Peabody Awards
and Anderson Cooper on speed dial.
83
00:03:25,064 --> 00:03:27,254
I have a poster of him over my bed.
84
00:03:27,591 --> 00:03:30,722
So, Shauna, I was wondering, maybe we
spend the night at your place, tonight?
85
00:03:30,723 --> 00:03:32,081
You know, I still haven't been there.
86
00:03:32,082 --> 00:03:35,488
Uh, we can't. I just had the floors
cleaned, and it's kind of a mess.
87
00:03:35,489 --> 00:03:39,244
Hmm, well, you know I don't
mind things a little bit dirty.
88
00:03:39,289 --> 00:03:42,319
Oh, and I just remembered,
the water's also been shut off.
89
00:03:42,487 --> 00:03:44,823
Well, maybe we should
call somebody to fix it?
90
00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:47,284
I hear Anderson Cooper's good with pipes...
91
00:03:48,034 --> 00:03:49,852
You know, Shauna, if I
didn't know any better,
92
00:03:49,853 --> 00:03:51,630
I'd think you were trying
to hid something from me?
93
00:03:51,915 --> 00:03:55,630
I'll tell you what. How about
we hide something later...
94
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:57,271
See you tonight?
95
00:04:00,062 --> 00:04:02,531
Oh, she's got good hiding places.
96
00:04:07,837 --> 00:04:08,871
(Beeping)
97
00:04:08,985 --> 00:04:10,687
(Gasps) That's the landlord!
98
00:04:10,688 --> 00:04:11,856
He's on his way up.
99
00:04:11,857 --> 00:04:14,326
My pierogies are hot and ready.
100
00:04:15,579 --> 00:04:16,832
So are mine.
101
00:04:19,074 --> 00:04:21,577
Wow! You look amazing.
102
00:04:21,613 --> 00:04:24,552
But, um, I think you're a little lopsided.
103
00:04:24,616 --> 00:04:25,650
Oh, well, you know,
104
00:04:25,651 --> 00:04:28,013
we ran out of toilet paper before
I could finish stuffing lefty.
105
00:04:28,014 --> 00:04:28,676
Huh.
106
00:04:29,328 --> 00:04:31,197
So uh, how'd you get him up here, so fast?
107
00:04:31,198 --> 00:04:34,101
Oh, well, I told him the sink was clogged.
108
00:04:34,102 --> 00:04:35,768
(In a sexy voice) From
all of our pillow fights.
109
00:04:35,769 --> 00:04:38,973
(Laughs) Great, great.
110
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:41,017
Um, I only ask you this because I know you.
111
00:04:41,018 --> 00:04:42,536
Did you remember to clog the sink?
112
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:47,295
Oh, quick! Put a little of
your bigger boobie in there!
113
00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:48,656
(Knocking)
114
00:04:48,657 --> 00:04:49,785
- Ah!
- That's him.
115
00:04:49,786 --> 00:04:51,354
Hurry, hurry, hurry!
116
00:04:51,929 --> 00:04:52,964
Come in.
117
00:04:53,370 --> 00:04:55,805
Hello, girls. Which sink is clogged?
118
00:04:58,069 --> 00:05:02,409
I think it may have gotten clogged while
I was making my world famous pierogies.
119
00:05:03,808 --> 00:05:04,976
Do you want one?
120
00:05:04,976 --> 00:05:06,218
No.
121
00:05:08,846 --> 00:05:10,147
(Grunts)
122
00:05:10,147 --> 00:05:11,148
Sink fixed. I go now.
123
00:05:11,148 --> 00:05:13,017
Wait! Um...
124
00:05:13,017 --> 00:05:16,687
We heard that apartment 2B opened up?
125
00:05:19,094 --> 00:05:20,618
Everyone wants 2B.
126
00:05:20,619 --> 00:05:23,781
Girl in 4A offered to do
disgusting things for 2B.
127
00:05:24,869 --> 00:05:26,704
And she's got two Dâs.
128
00:05:27,467 --> 00:05:31,471
Just because I lost wife they
think they can sex me for apartment.
129
00:05:31,472 --> 00:05:34,442
Oh, that is pathetic.
130
00:05:35,062 --> 00:05:36,324
I have allergies.
131
00:05:38,162 --> 00:05:39,495
I go now.
132
00:05:40,334 --> 00:05:41,335
Oh.
133
00:05:41,336 --> 00:05:43,071
Or, maybe I stay.
134
00:05:43,853 --> 00:05:46,823
Hey, girls. Josh was getting
busy with the anchorwoman.
135
00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:50,094
And the buzzin' I heard was
not from the news chopper.
136
00:05:51,799 --> 00:05:54,635
So, is-is it cool if I
watch Law & Order here?
137
00:05:54,635 --> 00:05:57,271
I... I love the Law & Order.
138
00:05:58,547 --> 00:05:59,738
And my wife's dead.
139
00:06:01,651 --> 00:06:05,788
Well, great, come on in,
sit down, both of you!
140
00:06:05,788 --> 00:06:09,859
Yeah, what goes better with the
Law & Order than the pierogies?
141
00:06:11,229 --> 00:06:12,897
Maybe a white Russian?
142
00:06:20,915 --> 00:06:23,672
Okay, if anybody asks,
you're here to borrow my car.
143
00:06:23,673 --> 00:06:24,690
Oh, really?
144
00:06:24,691 --> 00:06:27,072
I shouldn't say that I'm here to
trick Yolanda into dating our landlord
145
00:06:27,073 --> 00:06:28,741
so we can get that apartment?
146
00:06:28,742 --> 00:06:29,872
You know, hopefully,
147
00:06:29,873 --> 00:06:32,895
you can keep your sarcasm
in our new walk-in closet.
148
00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:34,960
I just really want this.
149
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,404
I have two bedroom fever.
150
00:06:37,859 --> 00:06:39,398
- Hey, Yolanda.
- Hey, girls.
151
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,124
Nothing, I'm just here to borrow her car.
152
00:06:42,718 --> 00:06:45,418
So, how's it, ah, how's
it going with Coleman?
153
00:06:45,419 --> 00:06:47,550
Ah, do you still want him
to walk in front of a bus?
154
00:06:47,551 --> 00:06:49,240
Oh, no, honey.
155
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,025
I wanna push him in front of one.
156
00:06:51,932 --> 00:06:55,032
Um, well, you know, I-I
actually just had an idea.
157
00:06:55,133 --> 00:06:56,232
Just now.
158
00:06:56,233 --> 00:06:58,975
Um, I feel like Coleman needs
a taste of his own medicine.
159
00:06:58,976 --> 00:07:01,171
Maybe you should go out with
another guy and make him jealous?
160
00:07:01,172 --> 00:07:03,302
That's a great idea,
Gabi. That'll teach him.
161
00:07:06,378 --> 00:07:08,961
It would teach him. Only one problem.
162
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,218
If I knew a guy, I
wouldn't date my ex-husband.
163
00:07:11,382 --> 00:07:13,940
Well, I just had another idea.
164
00:07:13,941 --> 00:07:15,002
Just now.
165
00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:18,021
Um, what about Dmitri?
166
00:07:18,107 --> 00:07:20,559
Another great idea, Gabi!
167
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,486
Ooh...
168
00:07:23,487 --> 00:07:27,457
Your sexy Russian
landlord? That guy is fine.
169
00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:29,232
Um, you think you two can...
170
00:07:29,233 --> 00:07:31,455
Sanfran Cafe 8:00 pm. Don't be late.
171
00:07:36,806 --> 00:07:40,326
Oh, how was your run, mate?
Would you like a spot o' brekkie?
172
00:07:40,850 --> 00:07:44,016
I Googled Australian slang. I'm a delight.
173
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,535
Can I have a cuppa?
174
00:07:46,647 --> 00:07:49,578
Er, that means "cup of tea."
175
00:07:49,579 --> 00:07:52,449
Oh, right, sorry. I
didn't make it to the C's.
176
00:07:52,819 --> 00:07:56,089
- Gabi, you seem close with Josh.
- Why, what'd he tell you?
177
00:07:56,482 --> 00:07:59,218
I mean, I'm just kidding. We're close.
178
00:07:59,487 --> 00:08:01,022
Can I ask you a question?
179
00:08:01,316 --> 00:08:02,817
A questie?
180
00:08:03,492 --> 00:08:07,029
Do you think it's wrong to keep a secret
from someone just for a little while
181
00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:08,530
with only good intentions, of course.
182
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:12,968
Well, between you and me, I don't
even need the good intentions part.
183
00:08:12,968 --> 00:08:14,570
Yeah, you are a delight.
184
00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:16,472
So, what's the secret?
185
00:08:17,339 --> 00:08:18,957
I'm a mum.
186
00:08:19,295 --> 00:08:21,176
What? You are?
187
00:08:21,176 --> 00:08:23,644
I share custody of my
seven-year-old son, Brett.
188
00:08:23,645 --> 00:08:25,894
And, I'm afraid to tell Josh.
189
00:08:25,895 --> 00:08:27,770
That's why I've been acting so dodgy.
190
00:08:28,111 --> 00:08:31,411
"Dodgy." That's a good one.
191
00:08:31,412 --> 00:08:34,372
Um, well, listen, about Josh, I don't
think you have anything to worry about.
192
00:08:34,373 --> 00:08:36,009
Josh loves little guys.
193
00:08:36,010 --> 00:08:37,011
You've met Elliot?
194
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,354
You're right, Gabi.
195
00:08:40,785 --> 00:08:43,888
Now I just need to find
the right time to tell him.
196
00:08:44,089 --> 00:08:47,259
Why don't you tell him after brekkie,
197
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,017
when he's had a cuppa,
198
00:08:49,018 --> 00:08:51,238
unless you think that's too dodgy.
199
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,639
G'day!
200
00:08:58,436 --> 00:09:01,739
Josh, I did something bad.
201
00:09:02,525 --> 00:09:04,727
I got Anderson Cooper's phone number.
202
00:09:04,728 --> 00:09:06,133
Why is that bad?
203
00:09:06,134 --> 00:09:07,535
I stole Shauna's phone to get it.
204
00:09:07,535 --> 00:09:10,405
- Elliot!
- Oh, it gets worse.
205
00:09:10,405 --> 00:09:12,302
In the midst of my mischief making,
206
00:09:12,303 --> 00:09:14,639
I discovered Shauna is cheating on you.
207
00:09:15,427 --> 00:09:16,795
What are you talking about?
208
00:09:17,301 --> 00:09:19,621
I stumbled upon a few texts she sent
209
00:09:19,622 --> 00:09:21,824
to some manwhore named Brett.
210
00:09:22,450 --> 00:09:24,134
You're being ridiculous,
211
00:09:24,135 --> 00:09:25,931
and you invaded her privacy!
212
00:09:26,735 --> 00:09:28,137
Read 'em to me.
213
00:09:29,287 --> 00:09:30,991
"I miss kissing your face."
214
00:09:31,491 --> 00:09:32,893
That's not so bad.
215
00:09:32,894 --> 00:09:35,119
"Can't wait to crawl into
bed with you tonight."
216
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,354
Getting worse.
217
00:09:36,923 --> 00:09:39,959
"Bought a bunch of new toys
we can play with together."
218
00:09:41,343 --> 00:09:42,844
Oh, God.
219
00:09:43,112 --> 00:09:44,914
She bought us toys to play with, too.
220
00:09:50,050 --> 00:09:52,052
Oh my God, they got towel warmers on sale.
221
00:09:52,053 --> 00:09:52,867
Should I get one?
222
00:09:52,868 --> 00:09:55,141
No. Get two. One for each bathroom!
223
00:09:56,486 --> 00:09:58,585
You know what, we're getting
too excited about this.
224
00:09:58,586 --> 00:10:00,555
We don't even know how Dmitri
and Yolanda's date went.
225
00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:02,317
But, they left on their
date three hours ago.
226
00:10:02,318 --> 00:10:04,153
Can I at least just add to cart?
227
00:10:04,393 --> 00:10:06,084
Man, we are obsessing over this.
228
00:10:06,085 --> 00:10:08,453
We gotta find something that's
gonna take our mind of the apartment.
229
00:10:09,514 --> 00:10:12,017
Apartment. Huh. What apartment?
230
00:10:12,018 --> 00:10:13,104
Oh my God, it's not working.
231
00:10:13,105 --> 00:10:14,486
- We have to go over there!
- Okay.
232
00:10:16,076 --> 00:10:18,180
- Oh, girls.
- Oh, Dmitri.
233
00:10:18,305 --> 00:10:19,373
How did your date go?
234
00:10:20,251 --> 00:10:22,287
This is first date I've been on.
235
00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:23,832
Well, since wife dead.
236
00:10:24,798 --> 00:10:26,266
I thought it never happen,
237
00:10:26,267 --> 00:10:28,545
- but I'm in love!
- He's in love!
238
00:10:28,813 --> 00:10:30,699
Yolanda is bee's knees!
239
00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:34,904
Yeah. She is totally bee's knees.
240
00:10:35,315 --> 00:10:38,271
So, do you remember that one time
241
00:10:38,272 --> 00:10:40,541
where you said that you owe me? Well, I do.
242
00:10:40,615 --> 00:10:42,140
Um, I was just wondering,
243
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,058
ah ha, if maybe this could possibly...
244
00:10:44,059 --> 00:10:45,461
- We want apartment 2B!
- Yeah.
245
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:48,705
Girls, you scratch my
back, I scratch yours...
246
00:10:48,706 --> 00:10:50,299
With two-bedroom apartment!
247
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,903
- Yay!
- Thank you!
248
00:10:53,003 --> 00:10:56,514
I-I've not been so happy
since release from labor camp.
249
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,094
Thank you, thank you.
250
00:10:59,095 --> 00:11:00,794
I bring you lease on Monday.
251
00:11:00,795 --> 00:11:01,813
Okay.
252
00:11:04,222 --> 00:11:06,224
We got the apartment!
253
00:11:08,097 --> 00:11:11,403
Shauna, there's something
I wanna talk to you about.
254
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,573
Isn't talk what we do after sex?
255
00:11:15,333 --> 00:11:16,768
Well, tonight, we're talking before.
256
00:11:18,715 --> 00:11:20,183
I know about Brett.
257
00:11:20,809 --> 00:11:23,122
Oh my God, how'd you find out?
258
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:26,453
That doesn't matter, Josh.
I swear I was gonna tell you.
259
00:11:26,790 --> 00:11:28,692
But, you didn't.
260
00:11:28,791 --> 00:11:32,495
I was holding back because
I'm crazy about you.
261
00:11:32,496 --> 00:11:33,368
Are ya?
262
00:11:34,244 --> 00:11:35,570
Yes.
263
00:11:35,719 --> 00:11:38,008
That's why I would love
for you to meet him.
264
00:11:40,603 --> 00:11:43,072
Meet him? Brett?
265
00:11:43,072 --> 00:11:45,146
Why... why?
266
00:11:45,909 --> 00:11:49,078
Because you're the two men in my life.
267
00:11:49,078 --> 00:11:52,654
How would you feel if the three
of us had a little playdate?
268
00:11:56,786 --> 00:11:57,821
A play what now?
269
00:11:59,478 --> 00:12:00,679
Uh, okay.
270
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:05,018
You want Brett to come here.
271
00:12:06,314 --> 00:12:08,583
And play with me and you?
272
00:12:08,865 --> 00:12:10,812
All of us together.
273
00:12:10,836 --> 00:12:13,672
Together... wow, together...
274
00:12:14,003 --> 00:12:16,059
Look, Josh, I know this
is a lot to take in.
275
00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:20,398
But, if you're not into it, it's... I'm
sorry, it's kind of a deal-breaker for me.
276
00:12:20,694 --> 00:12:23,168
Deal-breaker... wow.
277
00:12:24,061 --> 00:12:25,729
Deal-breaker.
278
00:12:25,730 --> 00:12:26,898
(Phone beeps)
279
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:30,826
Ugh, it's work. I gotta
get down to the studio.
280
00:12:30,827 --> 00:12:33,697
A man in Arkansas proposed
to Siri, and she said yes!
281
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,674
I'm sorry. I have to run.
282
00:12:38,261 --> 00:12:41,431
But, what do you say? I can
bring Brett here tomorrow night?
283
00:12:42,842 --> 00:12:46,346
Okay, honestly, I'm a
little nervous about this.
284
00:12:46,346 --> 00:12:47,566
Don't be.
285
00:12:48,004 --> 00:12:51,073
The three of us are gonna
have so much fun together!
286
00:12:53,214 --> 00:12:56,550
Now rest up. Brett can really wear you out.
287
00:12:59,448 --> 00:13:02,184
Josh, is there any furniture
that you don't need in here?
288
00:13:02,184 --> 00:13:06,455
Because I am signing the lease on my new
two-bedroom apartment tomorrow... whoa.
289
00:13:08,123 --> 00:13:09,893
What's going on with you?
290
00:13:10,102 --> 00:13:12,839
You will never believe the bomb
that Shauna dropped on me last night.
291
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:14,876
Oh, did she finally tell you about Brett?
292
00:13:15,164 --> 00:13:17,605
Yeah! How do you know about Brett?
293
00:13:17,606 --> 00:13:20,214
Calm down, okay? It's not that big a deal.
294
00:13:20,569 --> 00:13:22,217
Maybe not for some guys.
295
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,343
You are not some guys.
296
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,293
You're not gonna freak out at the first
curveball your relationship throws you.
297
00:13:26,725 --> 00:13:30,595
I'm fine with the curves. It's
the balls I'm worried about.
298
00:13:31,421 --> 00:13:34,458
Gabi, the date was perfect!
299
00:13:34,459 --> 00:13:37,101
It ended with sex on the kitchen floor.
300
00:13:37,537 --> 00:13:38,709
Oh...
301
00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:40,678
Dmitri must have some moves.
302
00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:42,715
Did he have you on your bee's knees?
303
00:13:44,711 --> 00:13:47,149
Dmitri? I'm talking about Coleman.
304
00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:49,742
Your plan to make him jealous worked.
305
00:13:49,743 --> 00:13:51,786
- Girl, I'm moving back in.
- No!
306
00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:56,355
That's awful... ly fast
for you to forgive him.
307
00:13:57,582 --> 00:14:00,232
You, ah, you have to go on
another date with Dmitri.
308
00:14:00,371 --> 00:14:02,638
- Why would I do that?
- Because of the lease...
309
00:14:02,639 --> 00:14:06,807
Uh, it's the "lease" you could do
310
00:14:06,808 --> 00:14:09,444
to keep him super jealous.
311
00:14:10,971 --> 00:14:14,914
Gabi, I know you're not used
to one of your plans working,
312
00:14:16,171 --> 00:14:18,052
but this is the part
where you should be happy!
313
00:14:18,053 --> 00:14:20,687
Yeah, oh-oh, oh, yeah, I'm
tot... I'm totally happy.
314
00:14:20,688 --> 00:14:23,712
Hey, quick question. Can I interest you
315
00:14:23,712 --> 00:14:26,972
in some slightly used towel warmers?
316
00:14:31,253 --> 00:14:32,888
Yolanda's back with Coleman?
317
00:14:32,888 --> 00:14:34,890
Oh my God, Dmitri's gonna find out.
318
00:14:34,890 --> 00:14:37,893
We're not gonna get that apartment
and Mrs. Jacobsen died for nothing.
319
00:14:38,789 --> 00:14:41,058
Stop, okay, listen. We can still save this.
320
00:14:41,059 --> 00:14:43,540
We just have to make sure that
Dmitri doesn't call Yolanda
321
00:14:43,541 --> 00:14:45,876
until after we sign the
lease tomorrow morning.
322
00:14:45,877 --> 00:14:48,476
Stop it, okay. What's the point? It's over.
323
00:14:48,477 --> 00:14:52,047
I'm just gonna go take one last
look and kiss Gaston goodbye.
324
00:14:52,048 --> 00:14:53,447
Uh, who-who is Gaston?
325
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,202
The dishwasher.
326
00:14:56,631 --> 00:14:57,665
I named him.
327
00:15:00,669 --> 00:15:02,175
Blonde one!
328
00:15:02,870 --> 00:15:04,572
I need advice.
329
00:15:04,597 --> 00:15:08,599
Should I invite Yolanda for wine
and spa experience in the Napa?
330
00:15:10,036 --> 00:15:11,504
I have Groupon.
331
00:15:11,505 --> 00:15:13,517
Listen, Dmitri, I have
to tell you something.
332
00:15:13,577 --> 00:15:15,508
Ah, Yolanda doesn't like you.
333
00:15:15,509 --> 00:15:16,777
There are jets in the bathtub!
334
00:15:16,778 --> 00:15:18,358
- She loves you.
- Oh!
335
00:15:18,359 --> 00:15:20,675
- Really?
- Uh, yes.
336
00:15:20,676 --> 00:15:22,356
But, we were sworn to secrecy.
337
00:15:22,357 --> 00:15:24,338
So, you can't tell her
that I told you, okay?
338
00:15:24,339 --> 00:15:27,403
Just... you know, just don't... actually,
you know what, don't talk to her at all.
339
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:30,222
What? Why-why I no talk if she's in love?
340
00:15:30,223 --> 00:15:34,161
Uh, be-because in America you have to
wait three days before calling a woman.
341
00:15:34,162 --> 00:15:35,897
Otherwise you look needy.
342
00:15:36,985 --> 00:15:38,560
But, but I don't want to wait.
343
00:15:38,561 --> 00:15:39,829
In Russia, we have saying,
344
00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:41,661
"you snooze, you freeze to death."
345
00:15:43,958 --> 00:15:46,694
Well, we live in America.
346
00:15:46,731 --> 00:15:49,878
So, if you want Yolanda
to think you're a man,
347
00:15:49,879 --> 00:15:52,214
you know, just don't call
her until after Monday.
348
00:15:52,629 --> 00:15:54,697
You Americans so confusing.
349
00:15:54,698 --> 00:15:56,970
With my first wife, I ask her to marry me,
350
00:15:56,971 --> 00:15:59,070
she say "eh." Next morning we married.
351
00:16:04,155 --> 00:16:06,301
Okay. Here we go.
352
00:16:06,990 --> 00:16:09,159
Bill & Ted's Sexcellent Adventure.
353
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,255
Let's see what this whole two
guys one girl stuff is about.
354
00:16:12,255 --> 00:16:13,863
Maybe it's not so bad.
355
00:16:13,969 --> 00:16:15,748
(Seductive guitar music plays)
356
00:16:15,836 --> 00:16:19,513
Mmm... uh-uh-uh, it is bad.
357
00:16:23,910 --> 00:16:25,475
Eww, what's that girl doing in there?
358
00:16:27,524 --> 00:16:30,027
Remember Brett? Guy
Shauna's cheating on me with?
359
00:16:30,027 --> 00:16:32,162
They're on their way over here
to have a threesome with me.
360
00:16:32,162 --> 00:16:33,381
Really?
361
00:16:33,388 --> 00:16:35,994
Well, as your publicist,
I think that's a bad idea.
362
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:39,164
But, as your friend, you go, girl.
363
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:42,157
Look, I only said yes
because Shauna's so cool.
364
00:16:42,158 --> 00:16:43,426
I didn't want to seem uncool,
365
00:16:43,427 --> 00:16:45,762
but I am uncool, Elliot.
I am uncool in that way.
366
00:16:45,763 --> 00:16:47,712
In every other way, I am cool.
367
00:16:47,713 --> 00:16:50,063
Josh, pull yourself together.
368
00:16:50,064 --> 00:16:51,188
(Doorbell rings)
369
00:16:51,189 --> 00:16:52,481
That's them. Okay, look.
370
00:16:52,482 --> 00:16:54,864
Go out there and tell
them I can't do this, okay?
371
00:16:54,865 --> 00:16:56,502
- Just go... it's too hard.
- Too hard.
372
00:16:56,503 --> 00:16:57,608
No, I...
373
00:16:57,821 --> 00:17:00,590
don't say that. Uh, I gotta back out.
374
00:17:00,591 --> 00:17:01,659
Back out.
375
00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:03,195
That's even... Elliot!
376
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:06,359
I'm working. You go out and there
and you tell them I'm working.
377
00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:12,333
Hey, Elliot, meet my son, Brett.
378
00:17:12,334 --> 00:17:13,520
This is Brett?
379
00:17:13,546 --> 00:17:16,382
And there's one of your new toys.
380
00:17:16,382 --> 00:17:18,718
Well, this is gonna be funny.
381
00:17:23,954 --> 00:17:25,121
Are they gone?
382
00:17:25,865 --> 00:17:28,401
Sorry, Josh, but you should go out there.
383
00:17:28,413 --> 00:17:29,814
Brett is cute.
384
00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:31,083
Might even be cuter than you.
385
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:33,031
See, that's the problem!
386
00:17:33,032 --> 00:17:35,656
Either I'm gonna be second banana,
or he's gonna be second banana.
387
00:17:35,657 --> 00:17:37,492
Either way, it's too many bananas!
388
00:17:37,722 --> 00:17:39,328
Well, tell them yourself.
389
00:17:39,329 --> 00:17:40,666
But, be nice.
390
00:17:40,702 --> 00:17:43,447
I get the sense that if you hurt
his feelings, Brett might cry.
391
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:44,985
Been there.
392
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,389
Hi, Josh. I want you to meet...
393
00:17:51,390 --> 00:17:52,691
Shauna...
394
00:17:52,746 --> 00:17:54,519
I'm-I'm sorry. I can't do this.
395
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:55,962
This is my son, Brett.
396
00:17:55,963 --> 00:17:57,318
The other man in my life.
397
00:17:57,319 --> 00:17:59,299
Brett, this is Josh.
398
00:17:59,506 --> 00:18:01,293
Hi, Josh. Do you want to see my truck?
399
00:18:03,218 --> 00:18:05,720
Oh, Brett!
400
00:18:05,995 --> 00:18:08,198
You are an adorable little man!
401
00:18:08,292 --> 00:18:10,260
I'm gonna buy you a real truck.
402
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:14,907
Okay, everything's ready.
403
00:18:14,908 --> 00:18:16,888
Pens ready to sign, champagne ready to pop.
404
00:18:16,889 --> 00:18:18,869
Well, the only thing missing
is Dmitri with the lease,
405
00:18:18,870 --> 00:18:20,435
and he said he'd be here at 9:00.
406
00:18:20,436 --> 00:18:22,571
Relax, it's only 9:02.
407
00:18:23,044 --> 00:18:26,692
That is two extra minutes we could
have been renting that apartment.
408
00:18:27,791 --> 00:18:29,092
(Knocking)
409
00:18:29,093 --> 00:18:30,494
Oh my God, that's him.
410
00:18:32,673 --> 00:18:34,609
Both: Hey, Dmitri!
411
00:18:34,609 --> 00:18:36,377
What are you doing here? Oh, right!
412
00:18:36,377 --> 00:18:37,712
You're here to help us sign the lease.
413
00:18:37,713 --> 00:18:39,599
(Both laugh) Right.
414
00:18:39,637 --> 00:18:40,672
Give it.
415
00:18:41,582 --> 00:18:43,255
So, ah, which pen should I use?
416
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:45,720
I'm thinking a ball point,
roller ball, scented marker,
417
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:46,962
glitter pen, ooh, a chopstick!
418
00:18:46,963 --> 00:18:48,205
(Gasps) My EpiPen!
419
00:18:49,198 --> 00:18:50,199
No pen!
420
00:18:51,993 --> 00:18:54,749
Because it's a Russian
custom to sign in blood?
421
00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:56,719
Because we are fine with that.
422
00:18:58,132 --> 00:19:00,668
Are you fine? Because Dmitri not so fine.
423
00:19:00,668 --> 00:19:03,705
You tell me not to call Yoyoski, I no call.
424
00:19:03,706 --> 00:19:05,543
But I am passionate
man, so I go to her house
425
00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:07,875
bearing gifts of vodka and smoked salmon.
426
00:19:10,434 --> 00:19:12,303
- Uh-oh.
- Oh, boy.
427
00:19:12,304 --> 00:19:14,573
And she get in huge fight with boyfriend.
428
00:19:14,962 --> 00:19:16,609
- Oh, boy.
- Uh-oh.
429
00:19:16,610 --> 00:19:19,268
All the way home I thinking
why would girls lie to me?
430
00:19:19,269 --> 00:19:22,317
And then, it hit me like a ton of brick.
431
00:19:22,724 --> 00:19:25,006
You manipulate me to get apartment!
432
00:19:25,007 --> 00:19:26,050
You bad girls!
433
00:19:26,051 --> 00:19:29,151
No, listen, Dmitri, we're
really, really sorry.
434
00:19:29,152 --> 00:19:30,876
Yes, please let us make it up to you.
435
00:19:30,877 --> 00:19:32,314
No. No apartment for you!
436
00:19:32,315 --> 00:19:34,117
- (Gasps)
- I give to someone else.
437
00:19:34,118 --> 00:19:35,286
Someone who deserve it.
438
00:19:35,287 --> 00:19:37,122
What? No! Who?
439
00:19:37,123 --> 00:19:38,992
Hey!
440
00:19:40,822 --> 00:19:42,224
Got a pen?
441
00:19:46,124 --> 00:19:50,124
Now that was the best I'm
sorry calamari I've ever had.
442
00:19:50,644 --> 00:19:52,713
So, you forgive us for
totally screwing up your life?
443
00:19:52,714 --> 00:19:55,483
Well, in a way, you two
girls did me a favor.
444
00:19:55,484 --> 00:19:57,753
Coleman got so mad about Dmitri,
445
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:01,664
he wound up admitting he
did cheat with the waitress.
446
00:20:02,154 --> 00:20:03,945
And his hairdresser.
447
00:20:04,391 --> 00:20:05,911
And the dog walker.
448
00:20:06,564 --> 00:20:07,865
We don't even have a dog!
449
00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:10,005
Ha!
450
00:20:10,006 --> 00:20:13,091
Okay, so what are we watching for
our first movie night, neighbor?
451
00:20:13,092 --> 00:20:16,356
I grabbed it from Josh's
office. It's a classic.
452
00:20:16,357 --> 00:20:18,926
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.
453
00:20:20,503 --> 00:20:22,405
(Seductive guitar music plays)
454
00:20:25,239 --> 00:20:26,840
I didn't know Keanu was black.
455
00:20:29,470 --> 00:20:30,638
Why is everybody naked?
456
00:20:31,706 --> 00:20:33,641
They are really steaming
up that phone booth.
457
00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:36,944
Gimme that remote.
458
00:20:38,579 --> 00:20:40,014
I gotta turn this up.
459
00:20:40,014 --> 00:20:41,649
(Laughing)
460
00:20:41,649 --> 00:20:44,300
(In Russian accent) We are bad girls!
461
00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:45,035
Sync & corrections by PetaG
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