1 00:00:00,833 --> 00:00:05,037 ♪ Thank you for being a friend 2 00:00:05,104 --> 00:00:08,639 ♪ Traveled down the road and back again 3 00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:11,510 ♪ Your heart is true 4 00:00:11,544 --> 00:00:16,447 ♪ You're a pal and a confidante 5 00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:19,418 ♪ And if you threw a party 6 00:00:19,485 --> 00:00:23,287 ♪ Invited everyone you knew 7 00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:26,724 ♪ You would see 8 00:00:26,759 --> 00:00:29,461 ♪ The biggest gift would be from me 9 00:00:29,495 --> 00:00:31,263 ♪ And the card attached would say 10 00:00:31,297 --> 00:00:37,469 ♪ "Thank you for being a friend" ♪ 11 00:01:03,662 --> 00:01:06,597 Hi, Sophia. How was your date last night? 12 00:01:06,665 --> 00:01:09,800 Tony Delveccio is a dreamboat. Aw... 13 00:01:09,868 --> 00:01:12,203 I wouldn't mind glancing over at the night table 14 00:01:12,271 --> 00:01:15,206 and seeing his teeth next to mine. 15 00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:20,878 Ma, please. I mean, it's probably silly, 16 00:01:20,946 --> 00:01:23,080 but I'm not that comfortable 17 00:01:23,148 --> 00:01:26,685 hearing about your romantic escapades with men. 18 00:01:26,752 --> 00:01:28,620 Then you're gonna hate this. 19 00:01:28,687 --> 00:01:31,423 I fantasize about him all day. 20 00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:33,758 Last night, I dreamed I was Joan of Arc, 21 00:01:33,826 --> 00:01:36,294 and he was coming at me with a hose. 22 00:01:38,464 --> 00:01:42,133 Ma, maybe it was just a religious-experience dream. 23 00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:46,771 Did he put out the fire? 24 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,507 Three times. 25 00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:59,317 Wow, the seldom-achieved Joan of Arc fantasy triple. 26 00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:02,854 Sophia, I hate you. 27 00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:05,924 I think I'm falling in love. 28 00:02:05,991 --> 00:02:07,926 I haven't felt his way since your father. 29 00:02:07,993 --> 00:02:09,994 But Tony looks at me as a friend, as a companion. 30 00:02:10,062 --> 00:02:12,196 Honey, nothing wrong with that. 31 00:02:12,231 --> 00:02:14,732 Yeah, but I'm picturing him naked, and I'm not laughing. 32 00:02:17,403 --> 00:02:21,172 If you want my advice, I think you should sleep with him. 33 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,608 Done. 34 00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:25,944 That is not what she wants. 35 00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:29,714 Dorothy, the man came at her with a hose. 36 00:02:31,617 --> 00:02:34,185 Oh, come on, Ma. You haven't known him that long. 37 00:02:34,253 --> 00:02:35,386 Take your time. 38 00:02:35,454 --> 00:02:38,156 After a few months, better yet, a few years, 39 00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:42,560 then you can start thinking about a more physical relationship. 40 00:02:42,628 --> 00:02:46,163 Look who's giving away years here. 41 00:02:46,231 --> 00:02:50,268 You know my motto - today could be the last day of the rest of the your life. 42 00:02:52,204 --> 00:02:55,239 Sophia, I'll bet with a few tips from me, 43 00:02:55,307 --> 00:02:58,977 you can have this guy Tony in bed in no time. 44 00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:02,614 That's good, because that's exactly how much time we have. 45 00:03:02,681 --> 00:03:05,884 My mother does not do that. 46 00:03:05,951 --> 00:03:09,621 Yes, I do. I've just been in dry dock. 47 00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:12,290 I'm back now. 48 00:03:12,357 --> 00:03:16,394 I'm suited up, Coach. Put me back in the game. 49 00:03:16,462 --> 00:03:19,296 OK, but you have to listen to everything I say. 50 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,298 When I say "jump," you say, "On who?" 51 00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:30,374 I just got a special-delivery letter from St. Olaf. 52 00:03:30,409 --> 00:03:33,778 Uh-oh, it's from the Department of Water and Coffee. 53 00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:40,218 Coffee? 54 00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:42,987 No, thanks. It makes me jumpy. 55 00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:46,791 Rose, what does the letter say? 56 00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:48,526 You read it, Dorothy. 57 00:03:48,594 --> 00:03:52,631 I need both hands to cover my ears in case it's bad news. 58 00:03:52,698 --> 00:03:56,467 "Dear St. Olafian, I'm afraid there's bad news." 59 00:03:56,535 --> 00:03:58,136 What? 60 00:03:59,871 --> 00:04:03,508 "There's a drought in St. Olaf which threatens the crops." 61 00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:06,111 Oh, no. I better send water. 62 00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:13,417 "Please do not send water. 63 00:04:13,485 --> 00:04:16,353 "We have found that envelopes leak. 64 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,956 "Until the rains come, 65 00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:21,459 "we ask that all citizens be celibate, 66 00:04:21,527 --> 00:04:23,695 "except for Ulf, the Umbrella King. 67 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:27,499 He has suffered enough." 68 00:04:27,566 --> 00:04:30,568 Well, if it'll help bring in the crops. 69 00:04:30,636 --> 00:04:34,773 Oh, you cannot possibly believe that abstaining is gonna change the weather? 70 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:39,611 Blanche, I don't think you realize how powerful sex is. 71 00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:48,853 Once, Charlie and I actually did it till the cows came home. 72 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:55,560 'Course, I was wearing a bell. 73 00:04:56,929 --> 00:05:00,431 Of course. Hence the nickname "Dingdong." 74 00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:05,970 Hey, you're probably right. 75 00:05:07,873 --> 00:05:10,408 Rose, if you're really serious about going through with this, 76 00:05:10,475 --> 00:05:13,411 I suggest that you discuss it with Miles. 77 00:05:13,478 --> 00:05:15,980 He deserves to know the truth. 78 00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:18,049 I don't wanna lie. 79 00:05:18,116 --> 00:05:20,885 You don't have to lie to Miles. Just don't tell him the truth. 80 00:05:20,953 --> 00:05:22,987 Turn this thing to your advantage. 81 00:05:23,055 --> 00:05:26,824 Now, if you hold Miles at bay, amazing things will start to happen. 82 00:05:26,892 --> 00:05:29,460 He'll become more attentive, send you flowers. 83 00:05:29,528 --> 00:05:32,864 He'll be a prisoner of love, and you'll be the warden. 84 00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:35,332 And if you're interested, 85 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:38,335 I have costumes for both of you to rent. 86 00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:42,574 Blanche, first, you tell my mother to sleep with a stranger, 87 00:05:42,641 --> 00:05:44,242 now this? 88 00:05:44,309 --> 00:05:47,345 What makes you think you know everything about the opposite sex? 89 00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:49,280 Let the record speak for itself. 90 00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:53,117 I have had 143 relationships. 91 00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:57,488 And no convictions. 92 00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:06,030 What do ya think? 93 00:06:06,098 --> 00:06:09,267 Oh, you look very pretty tonight. 94 00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:12,103 Not too pretty, I hope. I have a date with Miles. 95 00:06:12,171 --> 00:06:14,305 How is he dealing with the celibacy? 96 00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:16,374 Well, he's doing fine. 97 00:06:16,442 --> 00:06:20,712 Although he does spend a lot of time at the batting cage. 98 00:06:20,746 --> 00:06:24,315 Rose, listen. Now, you have a very critical date coming up. 99 00:06:24,382 --> 00:06:27,151 Everything I said would happen has. 100 00:06:27,219 --> 00:06:29,153 He's been more attentive, he's sent you flowers, 101 00:06:29,221 --> 00:06:32,456 he's done your laundry and returned most of it. 102 00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:40,564 We're right on schedule, 103 00:06:40,632 --> 00:06:42,801 but tonight he's gonna ask you if you're seeing other men. 104 00:06:42,868 --> 00:06:44,802 Do you know what you're gonna say? 105 00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:46,737 I'm not sure. 106 00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:49,473 Just be bold, be brazen, be brutal. 107 00:06:49,541 --> 00:06:51,508 Now, what are you gonna say? 108 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:53,311 (sassy) I'm not sure. 109 00:06:57,249 --> 00:07:00,184 Rose, if you're gonna be my lump of clay, 110 00:07:00,251 --> 00:07:04,122 you gotta be a little bit smarter. 111 00:07:04,156 --> 00:07:08,926 When he asks you if you're seeing other men, just tweak his nose and say, 112 00:07:08,994 --> 00:07:11,729 "My, my, sir, I do believe you're jealous." 113 00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:16,234 What about the vapors, Blanche? 114 00:07:16,301 --> 00:07:20,137 Shouldn't she be overcome by the vapors? 115 00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:22,773 (Sophia) Blanche, can I come out now? 116 00:07:22,841 --> 00:07:24,976 Oh, yeah. Hold it just a minute. 117 00:07:25,043 --> 00:07:27,177 Girls, I want to present 118 00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:30,180 Blanche Devereaux's latest creation. 119 00:07:30,249 --> 00:07:33,984 I took an 84-year-old woman and made her look like 120 00:07:34,052 --> 00:07:37,255 a 65-year-old drag queen. 121 00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:50,301 Then I said to myself, "Blanche, too much rouge." 122 00:07:51,836 --> 00:07:54,972 So, after a few minor adjustments, 123 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,007 may I present 124 00:07:57,075 --> 00:08:00,010 the new Sophia Petrillo. 125 00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:17,662 Ma, are you in there? 126 00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:25,436 You know, this is the first time in years I felt like the real me. 127 00:08:25,503 --> 00:08:28,005 Should these be lower? 128 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,740 (doorbell rings) 129 00:08:29,808 --> 00:08:32,242 Ahh, all right, this is it. 130 00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:35,446 Now don't forget - you've got something he wants. Yeah. What? 131 00:08:37,983 --> 00:08:41,052 Don't worry. It'll all come back to you. 132 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,087 Take your glasses off. 133 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:44,922 And it's a good idea 134 00:08:44,990 --> 00:08:47,358 if you can find something to compliment him on. 135 00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:52,329 Hi. Is it my imagination, 136 00:08:52,397 --> 00:08:54,598 or do you have less hair on your knuckles? 137 00:08:57,403 --> 00:08:59,203 It could be, Sophia. 138 00:08:59,270 --> 00:09:02,573 At my age, everything starts to go. 139 00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:04,241 Sophia, it's Miles. 140 00:09:04,309 --> 00:09:07,278 Hey, you look beautiful. 141 00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:10,348 Boy, it has been a long time for you, hasn't it, big fella? 142 00:09:11,816 --> 00:09:14,185 Ha-ha-ha-ha. 143 00:09:14,252 --> 00:09:15,987 Well, let's get started. 144 00:09:16,054 --> 00:09:18,389 There's magic in the air tonight. 145 00:09:20,692 --> 00:09:24,028 What do I do if he wants to go back to his place? 146 00:09:24,095 --> 00:09:26,430 Tell him you have a lot of work you have to do at home. 147 00:09:26,498 --> 00:09:27,999 I don't wanna lie. 148 00:09:28,066 --> 00:09:30,701 When you get home, we'll make ya clean out the garage. 149 00:09:33,672 --> 00:09:36,407 Thanks, Blanche, I owe you one. 150 00:09:39,878 --> 00:09:43,080 What if I got gorgeous for nothing? What if Tony doesn't even notice me? 151 00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:45,883 Well, that's his hard luck. There are other fish in the sea. 152 00:09:45,951 --> 00:09:49,153 The only ones my age are floating on the top. 153 00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:51,756 (doorbell rings) 154 00:09:51,790 --> 00:09:55,492 Ma, remember - don't do anything I wouldn't do. 155 00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:58,228 I think I crossed that line when I got a date. 156 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:03,267 Hi, Sophia. 157 00:10:03,335 --> 00:10:04,802 Hi. 158 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,141 You remember Blanche and my Aunt Dorothy. 159 00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:12,142 Ye - 160 00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:18,716 Nice to see you. Nice to see you again. 161 00:10:18,751 --> 00:10:20,984 Sophia, you look enchanting. 162 00:10:21,053 --> 00:10:22,986 If I wasn't such a gentleman, 163 00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:25,856 I'd try to ply you with wine and take advantage of you. 164 00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:27,858 There's a liquor store on the corner. 165 00:10:30,495 --> 00:10:34,298 She can't drink. It mixes with her medication. 166 00:10:34,366 --> 00:10:35,666 Beautifully. 167 00:10:38,570 --> 00:10:40,371 Aren't they adorable? 168 00:10:40,438 --> 00:10:44,175 Seems like only yesterday I was putting her into the home. 169 00:10:47,212 --> 00:10:49,447 Good night, pussycat. You have nothing to worry about. 170 00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:50,848 Ma, be good. 171 00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:52,716 I promise. 172 00:11:01,627 --> 00:11:03,895 You're good. 173 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:09,700 A promise is a promise. 174 00:11:10,769 --> 00:11:12,804 Where does a sweet Sicilian girl like you 175 00:11:12,871 --> 00:11:15,540 learn to do those things? 176 00:11:15,607 --> 00:11:17,809 I live with a slut. 177 00:11:21,246 --> 00:11:23,781 Thank her for me. 178 00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:28,586 Oh, it's nice to be with a real woman. 179 00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:30,588 You didn't think I was too forward? 180 00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:32,824 No. You were a perfect lady. 181 00:11:32,891 --> 00:11:37,127 And once again, don't worry about the pants. I know a lot of good tailors. 182 00:11:39,898 --> 00:11:41,766 You started. Don't think I didn't notice you 183 00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:44,135 playing footsie with me under the table tonight. 184 00:11:44,169 --> 00:11:46,437 No, that really was a spasm. 185 00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:49,706 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. 186 00:11:49,774 --> 00:11:50,908 Ha-ha-ha. Aw... 187 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,513 I, uh... 188 00:11:56,581 --> 00:12:00,050 I... love you. 189 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,256 I said I love you. 190 00:12:05,323 --> 00:12:07,124 Thank you. 191 00:12:09,761 --> 00:12:11,728 And you? 192 00:12:11,796 --> 00:12:14,298 I care for you. 193 00:12:14,366 --> 00:12:15,900 You care for me? 194 00:12:15,967 --> 00:12:18,102 Yes, very much. 195 00:12:18,169 --> 00:12:21,171 I probably should've said that sooner. 196 00:12:21,239 --> 00:12:25,175 Well, let's go get some sleep now. 197 00:12:28,947 --> 00:12:30,414 What? 198 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,916 You care for me? 199 00:12:31,983 --> 00:12:34,418 You care for a cat or a dog or a goat. 200 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,788 When I tell you I love you and you tell me you care for me? 201 00:12:37,855 --> 00:12:41,325 Oh, please, Sophia. I care for you a lot. 202 00:12:41,393 --> 00:12:44,261 I'm going home and don't bother driving me. 203 00:12:44,329 --> 00:12:46,831 Look, Sophia, can't we talk? 204 00:12:46,898 --> 00:12:48,966 Don't even say my name. I reached out for you. 205 00:12:49,034 --> 00:12:52,402 If you didn't love me, how the hell could you make love to me? 206 00:12:52,470 --> 00:12:54,905 I never wanna see or hear from you again. 207 00:13:04,616 --> 00:13:08,185 Good night, and thank you for a wonderful evening. 208 00:13:08,252 --> 00:13:12,222 Rose, what is going on? Now, something is wrong. 209 00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:14,324 I don't know what you mean. 210 00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:17,661 It's obvious you're trying to avoid any kind of intimacy. 211 00:13:17,729 --> 00:13:20,197 Like that place you dragged me to tonight. 212 00:13:20,265 --> 00:13:22,233 Don't get me wrong. 213 00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:25,436 I enjoyed the evening of lesbian poetry... 214 00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:34,679 ...but, look, Rose, to tell you the truth, 215 00:13:34,746 --> 00:13:38,649 it just wasn't the swell time I had in mind. 216 00:13:38,717 --> 00:13:42,920 Look, I'm starting to get a little suspicious. 217 00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:46,556 There's somebody else, isn't there? 218 00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:49,960 (half-hearted) My, my, sir, I do believe you're jealous. 219 00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:58,035 You know, normally, I hate it when people tweak my nose, 220 00:13:58,103 --> 00:14:01,339 but at least you're touching me. 221 00:14:01,406 --> 00:14:03,807 Look, are you seeing somebody else? 222 00:14:03,842 --> 00:14:06,610 My, my, sir, I do believe you're jealous. 223 00:14:06,678 --> 00:14:12,083 One tweak is cute, Rose. Two is... Don't do it again. 224 00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:16,587 I'm sorry for the tone, but I am a little bit cranky and tense 225 00:14:16,654 --> 00:14:20,357 for all the obvious reasons. 226 00:14:20,425 --> 00:14:23,894 Look, something is wrong. Are you seeing another man? 227 00:14:23,962 --> 00:14:25,896 And don't touch my nose. 228 00:14:28,066 --> 00:14:30,734 I just can't be with you now. 229 00:14:30,802 --> 00:14:34,705 Oh, well, all right. Maybe... 230 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:39,142 maybe I can't see you, either. Goodbye. 231 00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:41,445 You mean good night. 232 00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:43,480 No, I think I mean goodbye. 233 00:14:54,626 --> 00:14:55,659 Oh. 234 00:14:56,728 --> 00:15:00,398 Just as I thought. Nobody likes it. 235 00:15:00,465 --> 00:15:02,265 Rose, what's the matter? 236 00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:05,102 Miles just left me. Oh, way to go, Blanche. 237 00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:09,073 Because of you and your lousy advice, I've lost Miles. 238 00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:11,875 Well, if you're gonna come home with this attitude and tweak my nose, 239 00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:15,279 and by the way, don't ever do that again because I hate it, 240 00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:17,581 I'm not gonna help you. 241 00:15:19,651 --> 00:15:22,186 How was your date with Tony? 242 00:15:22,253 --> 00:15:25,288 Do you enjoy getting old ladies in trouble? 243 00:15:29,227 --> 00:15:33,764 Ma, you slept with him, didn't you? 244 00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:34,899 Come over here. 245 00:15:38,503 --> 00:15:41,038 Look me in the eye. 246 00:15:41,105 --> 00:15:43,741 Did you sleep with Tony Delveccio? 247 00:15:43,809 --> 00:15:44,975 A little. 248 00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:48,979 Ma! Blanche made me do it. 249 00:15:49,047 --> 00:15:51,148 Don't you have a mind of your own? 250 00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:52,616 If Gladys Goldfine told you 251 00:15:52,683 --> 00:15:55,219 to drink a whole bottle of Kaopectate, would you? 252 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,387 Who blabbed? 253 00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:00,858 Everybody, just calm down. 254 00:16:00,925 --> 00:16:03,694 Sophia, tell me what happened. 255 00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:07,064 Same old story - girl meets boy, girl loses boy, 256 00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,099 girl can't remember her address, 257 00:16:09,167 --> 00:16:13,803 so cab just circles and circles and circles. 258 00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:17,374 You told him you loved him, and he didn't say it back, am I right? 259 00:16:17,442 --> 00:16:19,243 Did you bug my bra? 260 00:16:20,579 --> 00:16:22,446 Sophia, I told you 261 00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:26,216 never tell a man you love him first. That's a fatal mistake. 262 00:16:26,284 --> 00:16:29,787 I just wanted to hear someone say "I love you" to me one more time. 263 00:16:29,854 --> 00:16:32,155 Oh, Ma. Would it make you feel better 264 00:16:32,223 --> 00:16:35,092 if I told you I love you? 265 00:16:35,159 --> 00:16:37,795 Yeah. All of a sudden, I feel like singing. 266 00:16:37,862 --> 00:16:40,464 Take me to a piano bar. 267 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,266 I'm going to sleep. 268 00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:46,837 If Tony calls, tell him I faked it. 269 00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:55,512 Ma! 270 00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:57,514 Well, I did. Oh, baby, oh, baby, oh, baby. 271 00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:59,716 Oh, please. 272 00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:11,861 Come on, Sophia, join us. 273 00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:15,065 Yeah. Ma, you can't sit there waiting for a call forever. 274 00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:18,435 Who's waiting for a call? (whistles) 275 00:17:18,503 --> 00:17:20,070 Hello? Hello? 276 00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:25,209 That was him. I could hear him breathing. 277 00:17:25,243 --> 00:17:27,578 He wants to make sure I'm home 278 00:17:27,645 --> 00:17:29,580 and not out with some other guy. 279 00:17:29,647 --> 00:17:31,615 I have to make him jealous. 280 00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:35,385 Dorothy, put on a suit and a tie. Let's go by his hotel. 281 00:17:35,453 --> 00:17:37,921 Ma, I'm not gonna put on a suit and a tie. 282 00:17:37,988 --> 00:17:41,425 Are you satisfied, Blanche? My mother wants to date me. 283 00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:46,797 I suppose that's my fault, too. 284 00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:50,434 Well, you have been giving out some very bad advice lately. 285 00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:53,637 I haven't had such bad advice since... my drama teacher 286 00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:56,773 told me I'd be perfect for the lead in the King and I. 287 00:17:59,177 --> 00:18:02,846 So stupid here shaves her head and doesn't get the part. 288 00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:07,784 Wait a minute. Don't think I don't know what you all are gettin' at. 289 00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:09,987 You think the advice I gave was bad 290 00:18:10,055 --> 00:18:12,156 just because it devastated four lives. 291 00:18:12,190 --> 00:18:15,092 Blanche, when are you gonna realize you have to be responsible? 292 00:18:15,159 --> 00:18:16,861 This isn't a game. 293 00:18:16,928 --> 00:18:20,397 You're playing around with the emotions of real human beings. 294 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:23,333 I've made a decision. I'm gonna go see Tony. 295 00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:25,436 Don't do that. Now you have him right where you want him. 296 00:18:25,470 --> 00:18:27,571 I'm not listening to you anymore. Dorothy was right. 297 00:18:27,639 --> 00:18:30,240 You got me into trouble, you got Rose into trouble. 298 00:18:30,308 --> 00:18:33,677 You'd get Dorothy into trouble if anyone was interested in her. 299 00:18:35,547 --> 00:18:38,048 Wait a minute. 300 00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:40,984 Why, just the other day, that guy who works with our gardener, 301 00:18:41,052 --> 00:18:44,355 you know, the one with the leaf blower, 302 00:18:44,422 --> 00:18:48,058 told me that I looked nice with a little lilt in his voice 303 00:18:48,126 --> 00:18:51,595 and tried to blow my skirt over my head. 304 00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:57,968 Everything but the white horse, huh, pussycat? 305 00:18:58,036 --> 00:19:02,038 Look, Sophia Petrillo doesn't give up. 306 00:19:02,106 --> 00:19:06,777 She fights for her man. She can overcome anything. 307 00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:10,013 She needs ten bucks for a cab. 308 00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:18,588 Last chance, Rose. Better come go with me. 309 00:19:18,623 --> 00:19:23,193 Oh, no. I'm too depressed to go to a firehouse. 310 00:19:23,261 --> 00:19:27,097 The invitation says I can bring a friend to the barbecue. 311 00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:29,099 Come on, Rose. They're firemen. 312 00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:32,870 After a couple drinks, they start to do CPR. 313 00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:37,808 Oh, I envy you, Blanche. You really have it together. 314 00:19:37,876 --> 00:19:40,477 Not me. I have too many hang-ups. 315 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,346 Good night. Good night. 316 00:19:46,484 --> 00:19:48,819 Rose, I think you ought to know something. 317 00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:51,855 I didn't tell you - in fact, I never told anybody - 318 00:19:51,923 --> 00:19:55,325 but... I cry every Thursday night. 319 00:19:55,393 --> 00:19:57,560 But I thought you were so happy. 320 00:19:57,596 --> 00:19:59,195 I am most of the time, 321 00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:03,067 but, hey, it's hard being Blanche Devereaux all the time. 322 00:20:03,134 --> 00:20:05,435 It does begin to take its toll. 323 00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:08,371 It's kinda lonely not having someone 324 00:20:08,439 --> 00:20:11,641 nice and decent like Miles. 325 00:20:11,676 --> 00:20:17,413 My advice works with my men. You know, the shallow guys I go out with. 326 00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:22,052 But if you still want my advice, here it is. 327 00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:24,420 Call Miles. 328 00:20:24,489 --> 00:20:26,022 Honey, Blanche is right. 329 00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:29,560 Aw, he's reasonable. He'll understand. 330 00:20:29,628 --> 00:20:31,728 I'm gonna call him, and I'm gonna tell him the truth. 331 00:20:31,796 --> 00:20:35,198 You were right all along, Dorothy. The truth is always the best. 332 00:20:35,266 --> 00:20:37,333 That is very wise, Rose. 333 00:20:37,401 --> 00:20:40,136 Well, I don't want you to think I just made that up. 334 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,975 I saw it this afternoon on TV 335 00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:48,045 When I was watching the new Lassie. 336 00:20:50,114 --> 00:20:53,249 You know, that's actually an interesting story. 337 00:20:53,317 --> 00:20:56,119 You see, the new Timmy was lost, and the new Lassie 338 00:20:56,187 --> 00:20:59,456 was trying to tell the new grandpa where he was, so the new Lassie - 339 00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:01,358 Rose, did I ever tell you 340 00:21:01,425 --> 00:21:04,394 that I cry every Tuesday 341 00:21:04,462 --> 00:21:06,296 at 8:05? 342 00:21:07,732 --> 00:21:09,099 Excuse me. 343 00:21:10,968 --> 00:21:13,670 (rings) 344 00:21:16,674 --> 00:21:19,576 Hello. Oh, Helgie. 345 00:21:19,644 --> 00:21:23,280 So what's going on in St. Olaf? 346 00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:26,917 I can't understand ya, honey. Are you moaning? 347 00:21:26,984 --> 00:21:30,421 No. Say it slowly. 348 00:21:30,488 --> 00:21:33,524 Oh, God, it's raining. 349 00:21:33,591 --> 00:21:37,094 Oh, God, it's raining. 350 00:21:38,163 --> 00:21:40,264 Oh, God... 351 00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:47,904 Oh, God, it's raining! Here, I've gotta get to Miles. 352 00:21:55,914 --> 00:21:58,081 Boy, it must be pouring. 353 00:22:01,619 --> 00:22:03,887 (knock on door) 354 00:22:08,392 --> 00:22:12,228 Sophia, it's good to see you. 355 00:22:12,296 --> 00:22:14,665 I just came by to pick up my MedicAlert bracelet. 356 00:22:14,732 --> 00:22:17,400 I believe I left it here last week. 357 00:22:19,471 --> 00:22:20,871 I'm wearing it. 358 00:22:20,939 --> 00:22:23,140 That's dangerous. 359 00:22:23,207 --> 00:22:25,608 No. It turns out we're both allergic to the same things. 360 00:22:25,676 --> 00:22:28,645 Aw... Aw... 361 00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:30,413 I've missed you. 362 00:22:30,482 --> 00:22:32,549 Missed me so much you haven't called me in a week? 363 00:22:32,584 --> 00:22:35,318 Sophia, sit down. 364 00:22:35,387 --> 00:22:37,654 I picked up that phone a hundred times, 365 00:22:37,722 --> 00:22:40,390 but I just couldn't make that call. 366 00:22:40,392 --> 00:22:43,394 I haven't told anyone I love them since... 367 00:22:43,461 --> 00:22:45,395 since my wife died. 368 00:22:45,397 --> 00:22:47,197 That's a long time ago. 369 00:22:47,265 --> 00:22:51,068 Yeah, but this I-care-for-you thing has always worked up until now. 370 00:22:52,803 --> 00:22:57,374 Sophia, I do love you. 371 00:22:57,409 --> 00:22:59,475 I love you, too. 372 00:23:02,947 --> 00:23:05,348 So, what do we do now? 373 00:23:06,418 --> 00:23:09,787 You wanna see pictures of my late wife? 374 00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:15,426 I thought you'd never ask. I brought some of my husband Sal.