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00:00:01,901 --> 00:00:06,038
♪ Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,707
♪ Traveled down the road
and back again
3
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:11,543
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:15,713
♪ You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:19,551
♪ And if you threw a party
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♪ Invited everyone you knew
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♪ You would see the biggest
gift would be from me
8
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:31,296
♪ And the card attached
would say
9
00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:37,335
♪ "Thank you
for being a friend." ♪
10
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,499
Hello? Frank's Flowers?
11
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:10,201
Hey, Frank!
Sophia Petrillo here.
12
00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:12,403
Listen, I decided
the price you quoted me
13
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,539
on those centerpieces
is too high.
14
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:17,442
So I thought maybe
we could make a deal.
15
00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:20,345
Now, my daughter is single.
16
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What do you mean,
"Is she easy?"
17
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:26,384
You're talking
about my flesh and blood.
18
00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:31,589
40% off?
Oh, you bet she's easy.
19
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:34,091
Sure, Dorothy'll love that.
20
00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:36,994
OK, Frank. I'll set it up.
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Gotta go.
22
00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:42,466
Who was that?
A florist.
23
00:01:42,468 --> 00:01:46,037
Guess who just got a terrific deal
on flowers for the awards banquet.
24
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:48,206
Really?
Oh, gee, Ma, you know,
25
00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:50,541
ever since the two of us
started planning this banquet,
26
00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:52,410
you have been incredible.
27
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:55,346
I mean, you told me you got
a great deal on the flowers,
28
00:01:55,348 --> 00:01:58,683
the caterer,
the janitorial service.
29
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,553
Oh, I wish I worked this hard
for charity.
30
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,756
You will, Pussycat, you will.
31
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,193
Girls, I just got a letter
from my brother, Clayton.
32
00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:12,430
He says he's coming for a visit next
week and he has a big surprise.
33
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:15,299
Oh, that's wonderful.
I bet I know what the surprise is, too.
34
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,170
Clayton's met himself a girl,
and he wants me to meet her.
35
00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:21,907
Honey, your brother is gay.
36
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:26,745
Dorothy, I think that gay thing was
just a phase he was going through.
37
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,813
You know, like, when Clay was
in high school,
38
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,149
all he ever wanted to do was
go see gladiator movies.
39
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,186
It's the same kind of thing.
40
00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:36,955
Almost exactly.
41
00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:40,425
Rose, honey, congratulations!
42
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:44,296
I hear you've been nominated again
for the Volunteer of the Year Award.
43
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:47,832
Yep. Seven years I've been nominated
for the Volunteer Vanguard Award,
44
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:52,003
and seven years I've had to watch Agnes
Bradshaw snatch it away from me.
45
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,338
Well, she's not gonna do that
this year.
46
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:57,509
This year, I'm finally gonna
beat her. I'm gonna win!
47
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,744
Why? Because you worked
harder than Agnes?
48
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:02,013
Because she's dead.
49
00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:09,353
Yep! As a doornail.
Dead, dead, dead.
50
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:12,724
Coffee?
51
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:17,095
Rose, how can you be so cheery?
It's a terrible thing.
52
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:20,332
Come on, she was 89,
and she died in her sleep.
53
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:23,501
She fell asleep driving
the bookmobile.
54
00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:29,808
It was a tragedy.
She was my only real competition.
55
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:32,243
Dead, dead, dead.
56
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:35,280
Muffin?
57
00:03:37,583 --> 00:03:39,584
(doorbell)
58
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:41,652
I'll get it. I'll get it.
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00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,657
Clayton!
Blanche!
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00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:49,794
Oh! You're still
the handsomest man I know.
61
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:52,998
And you're still the prettiest
thing I ever did see.
62
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:57,168
Now I know why they call it
the "Deep" South.
63
00:03:59,838 --> 00:04:02,740
You remember everybody.
Oh, ladies, it is so good to see you again.
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00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,510
Good to see you.
All right now, baby brother,
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00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:09,014
I've waited all week. Where is it?
Where's my surprise?
66
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:12,017
Hello, everyone.
67
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:17,354
Surprise.
68
00:04:19,358 --> 00:04:21,826
You can just put the
luggage over there. OK.
69
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:24,662
Clay, I don't have any change
to tip the driver.
70
00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:28,299
Uh, Blanche... I don't know why
you took a cab from the airport.
71
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,969
Blanche... You should've called me.
I would've picked you up.
72
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:33,905
Blanche, this is Doug.
He's my friend.
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00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:37,708
My very special friend.
Well, any friend of Clay's is--
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00:04:40,445 --> 00:04:43,748
Ah-so.
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00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,817
Isn't it wonderful
that they became so close
76
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,452
between the airport and here?
77
00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:56,060
I hardly ever speak
to my cab drivers.
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00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:58,330
Rose, Doug is not a cab driver.
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00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,164
No, ma'am.
Actually, I'm a policeman.
80
00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:02,666
Oh. Well, what's
a policeman doing
81
00:05:02,668 --> 00:05:05,936
bringing fares
from the airport?
82
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:09,807
I know!
I bet you do undercover work.
83
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:18,015
And I'll bet he does it
damn well.
84
00:05:22,054 --> 00:05:26,257
You'll have to excuse my mother.
She survived a slight stroke,
85
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:30,895
which left her, if I can be
frank, a complete burden.
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00:05:33,498 --> 00:05:35,967
Why don't we all go out to the
kitchen and get something to drink?
87
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,837
That sounds good. Say, have you
ladies known Blanche for a long time?
88
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:43,007
Oh, yes. You're in luck.
She just loves policemen.
89
00:05:44,643 --> 00:05:47,211
Apparently,
it's a hereditary trait.
90
00:05:56,154 --> 00:05:59,390
I'll say this for Clayton,
he has great taste.
91
00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:02,359
Doug is absolutely charming.
And funny.
92
00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:06,063
It's not every cop who can do
a good Bette Davis impression.
93
00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:12,337
I think I did a great job
covering up how upset I am.
94
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:14,071
You mean,
like how you started sobbing
95
00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:16,974
when Clayton asked
for more fruit cocktail?
96
00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,982
I don't really mind
Clayton being homosexual.
97
00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:29,421
I just don't like him
dating men.
98
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:34,559
You really haven't grasped the concept
of this gay thing yet, have you?
99
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,162
There must be homosexuals
who date women.
100
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,930
Yeah. They're called lesbians.
101
00:06:44,770 --> 00:06:48,940
Hot damn! It's happened!
It's finally happened!
102
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:52,143
Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
103
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:54,812
I take it we now get
The Disney Channel.
104
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:58,349
Even better.
105
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:01,820
You are looking at the winner of this
year's Volunteer Vanguard Award.
106
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:04,289
Oh, Rose, honey,
what are you talking about?
107
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:07,058
That award isn't going to be
given out until Saturday.
108
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,627
I called to confirm
our reservations for the banquet
109
00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:11,796
and they said I don't have
to pay for my ticket.
110
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:15,166
The Awards Committee
is paying for me. So?
111
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,234
The Awards Committee wants
to make sure
112
00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:19,671
that I'll be there
to accept the award
113
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:23,107
It's the only logical
explanation. I won!
114
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:26,878
Oh, Rose, honey, I think you're
putting the cart before the horse.
115
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,614
And that's bad?
116
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:33,318
Look, Rose, I just don't want
to see you get hurt.
117
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,185
Oh, Blanche, Doug and I
were wondering
118
00:07:35,187 --> 00:07:38,355
what's happening with
the sleeping arrangements.
119
00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:42,093
Well, I'll be there in just a
moment to get you two settled in.
120
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,695
Now, if you sleepy heads
could wait just a...
121
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:46,831
Sleeping arrangements?
122
00:07:48,934 --> 00:07:51,435
What in hell am I gonna do
about the sleeping arrangements?
123
00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:53,638
Well, honey, why can't you
sleep on the couch
124
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,107
and give Clayton and Doug
your room?
125
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,142
Are you crazy?
What will the neighbors think
126
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,644
if they see two men
in my bedroom?
127
00:08:02,881 --> 00:08:06,383
They'll think it's Tuesday.
128
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:12,657
They can sleep in Ma's room
and she'll sleep with me.
129
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,092
Oh, Ma doesn't get a say.
It doesn't matter what Ma thinks.
130
00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:18,462
Ma's a piece of furniture who
has no feelings or opinions.
131
00:08:18,464 --> 00:08:21,165
Nonsense, my little hat rack.
132
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:26,404
Blanche, I don't understand you.
133
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,773
You can't very well say
you've accepted Clayton
134
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:31,375
unless you're willing to accept
the fact that he dates.
135
00:08:31,377 --> 00:08:34,578
Rose is right, and besides,
Blanche, in this day and age,
136
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:38,550
you should be thrilled that he's
in a monogamous relationship.
137
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,084
Of course you're right.
138
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:42,754
I've just gotta stop
this overreacting.
139
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,922
Doug and Clayton
are two consenting adults.
140
00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:47,325
There's no reason
to be embarrassed.
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00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:50,194
Blanche, it's such a beautiful night, Doug
and I are gonna go out for little a walk.
142
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,695
OK.
Don't wait up.
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00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:55,366
Well, enjoy your walk.
144
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:59,170
I'm fine. I'm OK.
I can deal with this.
145
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:02,373
Oh, look. They're skipping.
Oh, God!
146
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,476
Joke! Joke! Just a joke!
It's a joke.
147
00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:13,718
I just had the strangest
crank call.
148
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:19,390
Some man wanted to know if I owned
a riding crop and a leather bra...
149
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,660
and if I could lick
my eyebrows.
150
00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:27,899
What did you say?
I said no.
151
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:32,036
I guess we're paying full price
for the cocktail franks.
152
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:39,176
Good news. Clayton and Doug said they'd
love to go to the banquet with us.
153
00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:42,179
What? Oh, are you out of
what is left of your mind?
154
00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:44,549
Why did you invite them?
155
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,984
I want everybody there
for my moment of triumph.
156
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:49,519
And it'll be a lot of fun.
Fun?
157
00:09:49,521 --> 00:09:53,124
Don't you understand?
They will be there together.
158
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,226
But, Blanche,
they're here together.
159
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:57,895
Well, Dorothy, that's different.
We're talking about going out in public.
160
00:09:57,897 --> 00:09:59,931
Oh, what are people gonna say?
161
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,799
Probably nothing
we haven't heard before.
162
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:04,702
Oh, Clay, I was just telling
the girls...
163
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,604
We heard what you were
telling them, Blanche,
164
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,673
and I am truly sorry
you feel that way.
165
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:11,542
Will you tell me why you want to put
yourself and Doug through this?
166
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,277
You know how people can be.
167
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,279
And if my own sister can't
accept our relationship,
168
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,948
what chance would I have
with anyone else, right?
169
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,850
Right. No!
170
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:22,620
No, what I mean...
We get what you mean.
171
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:25,689
Blanche, we don't have to worry about what
the world thinks about our relationship.
172
00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:28,091
It just doesn't matter, because
we're there for each other.
173
00:10:28,093 --> 00:10:32,362
I'd do anything for Doug, and
he'd bend over backwards for me.
174
00:10:40,639 --> 00:10:43,808
Sometimes I just love
to hug my mommy.
175
00:10:50,949 --> 00:10:54,752
I think it's time you told her, Clayton.
Told me what?
176
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:57,922
I wanted you to meet Doug
for a very important reason.
177
00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:59,257
Well, why?
178
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:02,593
Blanche, we're getting married.
179
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:12,369
Oh, that's impossible, Clayton.
Brothers can't marry sisters.
180
00:11:18,576 --> 00:11:22,346
Oh, that's right,
you're from the South.
181
00:11:24,349 --> 00:11:28,919
Blanche and Clayton aren't
getting married, you airhead.
182
00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:32,390
Clayton and Doug are.
Oh.
183
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,392
Oh!
184
00:11:35,394 --> 00:11:37,428
Oh?
185
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,863
It'll be a simple ceremony,
just exchanging rings
186
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:42,633
and affirming our commitment to
each other in front of our friends.
187
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:45,269
I mean, it's not like it's
gonna be a big, fancy wedding.
188
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:49,273
Although we are registered
at Neiman Marcus.
189
00:11:50,676 --> 00:11:53,877
Well, you have pulled some stunts
in your day, Clayton Hollingsworth,
190
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,879
but this takes the cake.
191
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:58,449
I cannot believe
what I just heard.
192
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,484
I refuse to have any part
of this!
193
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:02,120
Oh, Blanche.
Oh!
194
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:04,188
Blanche!
195
00:12:06,024 --> 00:12:08,425
So, Butch, Sundance...
196
00:12:10,428 --> 00:12:14,064
who gets to throw the bouquet?
197
00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:29,780
And the winner of tonight's
Volunteer Vanguard Award
198
00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:31,983
is Rose Nylund.
199
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:34,218
The crowd goes wild!
200
00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:40,691
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
201
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:45,329
What a surprise.
I'm absolutely speechless.
202
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:47,899
Except for the one
I've prepared.
203
00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:53,170
Laughter from the crowd.
204
00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:56,607
First of all, I would like
to thank all the little people
205
00:12:56,609 --> 00:13:00,210
who have made tonight possible.
206
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:02,379
Thank you, little people.
207
00:13:03,915 --> 00:13:06,483
Smile for the photographers.
208
00:13:06,485 --> 00:13:08,752
Wave to the fans.
209
00:13:12,457 --> 00:13:15,159
Rose, they're about
to announce the winner.
210
00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:18,095
I wish Blanche would've come
to see me win my award.
211
00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:22,900
Honey, this thing with Doug and
Clayton has been pretty rough on her.
212
00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:25,002
Just to bring me up to speed,
213
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:28,940
it's the brother-marrying-
a-gay-cop-thing, right?
214
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:32,243
That's a big part of it.
215
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,777
I don't see what the problem is.
216
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:37,715
I think they make
a lovely couple.
217
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:40,217
Well, maybe "lovely"
isn't the right word.
218
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:43,453
They certainly make
a husky couple.
219
00:13:44,756 --> 00:13:47,524
Ladies!
220
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:50,328
I think a toast is in order.
221
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,363
Here's to the woman of the hour.
222
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:55,333
A woman whose grace
and kindness and warmth
223
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:58,569
and concern for others
is an inspiration to us all.
224
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:01,839
Here's to... Blanche!
225
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:05,408
And he's mad at her.
Think what he's gonna say about me.
226
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:10,715
Blanche, you don't know how much
it means-- I'm not here for you.
227
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:13,984
I realize this is a very
important night for Rose,
228
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:18,155
and that's why I came.
Just don't mind me.
229
00:14:18,157 --> 00:14:21,391
Um... to Rose.
230
00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:25,496
I liked his toast to Blanche
better.
231
00:14:31,202 --> 00:14:33,971
May I have your attention,
please?
232
00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:36,140
We have now come to the moment
you've been waiting for,
233
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:38,542
but before we hand
out the award,
234
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,979
I just want to thank all those people
who made this evening possible.
235
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:43,781
Especially my daughter, Dorothy.
236
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:46,683
Dorothy, stand up
and take a bow.
237
00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:48,952
(whistling)
238
00:14:54,993 --> 00:14:59,964
If I'm not mistaken, all the
waiters were whistling at me.
239
00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:04,835
Maybe they never saw anyone
eat a steak that fast.
240
00:15:06,838 --> 00:15:09,639
OK, on with the award.
Oh, God. This is it!
241
00:15:09,641 --> 00:15:11,208
Good luck, honey.
Break a leg.
242
00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:13,477
Oh, please, oh, please,
oh, please!
243
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:17,148
The winner of this year's Volunteer
Vanguard Award is Rose...
244
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,916
Yes! ...hand me that
glass of water, please.
245
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,528
Wow! What a surprise!
246
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:33,264
Ladies and gentlemen,
for the first time in history,
247
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,600
we have a posthumous winner -
Agnes Bradshaw!
248
00:15:41,439 --> 00:15:45,208
It's a fix! She's dead!
249
00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:50,080
She doesn't need that on her
mantel - she's on her mantel!
250
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,220
Uh, at this time,
the Awards Committee would like
251
00:15:57,222 --> 00:16:00,458
to ask Agnes' dear friend
and our favorite runner-up,
252
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,260
Rose Nylund,
to accept the award for her.
253
00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:20,911
What a surprise.
254
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:24,047
I am absolutely speechless.
255
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:27,351
Except for the one
that I have prepared.
256
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:29,787
Laughter from the audience.
257
00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:34,892
What can I say about
my good friend Agnes?
258
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:38,061
I'll never forget the last time
I spoke to her.
259
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:40,263
She said, "Rose, I don't
understand you.
260
00:16:40,265 --> 00:16:43,834
You work so much harder
than the rest of us."
261
00:16:45,637 --> 00:16:47,538
And I remember I said,
262
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:51,408
"Well, couldn't this wait just a minute?
I'm reading to the blind."
263
00:16:53,311 --> 00:16:56,680
That's enough, Rose.
Oh, but it's so golden.
264
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,849
Let it go.
Come on, let it go.
265
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,252
Let it go, you loser!
266
00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:06,423
Thank you, Rose Nylund.
Let's give her a big hand.
267
00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:11,495
Honey, I'm so sorry.
268
00:17:13,531 --> 00:17:17,534
Uh, Dorothy, I'd like you
to meet Irving Kapella.
269
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:20,204
He's the one who did the ice sculptures.
Aren't they nice?
270
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,407
75% off.
271
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,442
Irving would very much
like to take you out
272
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:28,079
for some cappuccino
and salsa dancing.
273
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:30,247
Maybe some other time.
274
00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:32,916
Hey, I thought we had a deal.
275
00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:37,521
Ma, what is he talking about?
What kind of deal?
276
00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:39,457
Pussycat, you know
how much I love you.
277
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:42,326
You sold me, didn't you?
278
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:44,595
I didn't know what to do.
I had no budget.
279
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:48,398
Oh, my God.
Now it all makes sense.
280
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,635
Why the hat-check guy serenaded
me with "Moon River."
281
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:54,839
Why the chef gave me
that extra large cut of beef.
282
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:58,308
Why the bus boy did that thing
with his tongue.
283
00:17:58,310 --> 00:18:00,845
Ma, how could you do this?
284
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,512
OK. Hey, Irving.
Huh?
285
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:05,448
Sorry. Our deal is off.
My daughter doesn't want to go out with you.
286
00:18:05,450 --> 00:18:07,985
But we shook on it
and everything.
287
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:10,620
If it makes you feel any better,
I'll go out with you.
288
00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:13,390
Instead of her, I go out with you?
Right.
289
00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:16,160
OK.
290
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:19,363
It's so good to see you again,
Blanche.
291
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:21,265
And who have we here?
292
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:25,035
Hello, I'm Susan Dodd.
I'm Clayton, Blanche's brother.
293
00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,570
And this is Doug, he's my--
294
00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:30,040
Fire! Fire! Everybody out!
295
00:18:34,946 --> 00:18:37,047
Small fire.
296
00:18:38,583 --> 00:18:40,751
It's out now.
297
00:18:44,222 --> 00:18:47,892
So, who's for decaf?
298
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:50,027
Smooth!
299
00:18:52,330 --> 00:18:54,998
Blanche, how could you do that?
300
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,768
What did you mean when you told me
that you could accept my being gay?
301
00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:01,105
Did you mean it was OK
so long as I was celibate?
302
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:03,274
It was OK so long
as I don't fall in love?
303
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:05,976
Doug is a part of the family
now. My family.
304
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:10,114
And if you don't like it, then you
don't have to be a part of my family.
305
00:19:20,424 --> 00:19:22,425
Blanche, I've been thinking
about Clayton and Doug,
306
00:19:22,427 --> 00:19:24,662
and I have a question.
What?
307
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,798
Why do men have nipples?
308
00:19:33,738 --> 00:19:37,340
I have no idea. You think it's
because God has a sense of humor
309
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:40,177
and isn't as uptight
as the rest of us?
310
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,946
It's easier for you
to say that, Sophia.
311
00:19:42,948 --> 00:19:45,583
It's not your brother
who's getting married to a man.
312
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,986
Hey, it's not like the guys in
my family never kissed a man.
313
00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:51,455
Of course, that was business.
314
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:55,059
Although there was
that one hit man
315
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:57,694
who always had to have
a flower in his lapel
316
00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:02,433
and would hold the kiss of death
a little longer than he had to.
317
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:05,202
Oh, look, I can accept
the fact that he's gay,
318
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,772
but why does he have to slip
a ring on this guy's finger
319
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:11,175
so the whole world will know?
320
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:15,079
Why did you marry George?
We loved each other.
321
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:19,049
We wanted to make a lifetime commitment.
Wanted everybody to know.
322
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,318
That's what Doug
and Clayton want, too.
323
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,621
Everyone wants someone
to grow old with.
324
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:26,756
And shouldn't everyone
have that chance?
325
00:20:28,259 --> 00:20:30,661
Sophia, I think I see
what you're getting at.
326
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,196
I don't think you do.
327
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:35,198
Blanche, will you marry me?
328
00:20:41,172 --> 00:20:45,142
Thank you, Sophia.
I need to go talk to them.
329
00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:48,978
Fine. But I'll need an answer.
I'm not gonna wait for you forever.
330
00:20:53,551 --> 00:20:57,121
Rose, honey, you feeling better?
I'm still so ashamed.
331
00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:00,190
Oh, Rose, nobody's gonna remember
you even making that scene.
332
00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:02,192
When we left, everybody
was still talking about
333
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:05,695
Dorothy leading
that busboy conga line.
334
00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:07,631
Besides, there's always
next year.
335
00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:09,833
Well, I've made a decision.
336
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:12,770
I'm gonna throw myself
into charity.
337
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,005
I'm gonna spend
all my free time
338
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:17,240
making other people's lives
better.
339
00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:20,109
I lost sight of the real goal.
340
00:21:20,111 --> 00:21:22,646
It isn't about fancy banquets.
341
00:21:22,648 --> 00:21:25,114
It isn't about getting
your name in the paper.
342
00:21:25,116 --> 00:21:27,851
It isn't about winning
the award next year.
343
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:31,354
There now, that's the spirit.
344
00:21:31,356 --> 00:21:34,792
It's about getting that dead
woman's name off of this one.
345
00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:45,235
We have to talk.
There is nothing for us to talk about.
346
00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:48,504
I wasn't speaking to you.
347
00:21:48,506 --> 00:21:51,709
I have just one question for you.
OK.
348
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:56,480
Do you love him?
What do you mean?
349
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,715
Well, you see,
he's my baby brother,
350
00:21:58,717 --> 00:22:01,852
and I've always felt it was my
responsibility to look out for him.
351
00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:06,223
So, I can't just let him get
married to just anybody.
352
00:22:06,225 --> 00:22:10,160
So, do you love him?
I do. Very much.
353
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:13,229
Well, good, 'cause so do I.
You mean that, Blanche?
354
00:22:13,231 --> 00:22:16,433
Because Doug loves me for what I am,
not for what he wants me to be,
355
00:22:16,435 --> 00:22:18,335
or wishes I were.
356
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:21,405
I guess I deserve that.
I guess you do.
357
00:22:21,407 --> 00:22:24,407
Well, Clay, this is
very difficult for me.
358
00:22:24,409 --> 00:22:28,111
I still can't say I understand
what you're doing,
359
00:22:28,113 --> 00:22:33,383
but I do intend to try to
respect your decision to do it.
360
00:22:33,385 --> 00:22:37,020
I want you to be happy.
I am happy, Blanche.
361
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:40,056
I know.
362
00:22:40,058 --> 00:22:43,893
So, are you telling me you are ready
to have a brand-new brother-in-law?
363
00:22:49,233 --> 00:22:51,768
I suppose I am.
364
00:22:53,404 --> 00:22:57,007
Now, look here.
Now, he's not perfect.
365
00:22:57,009 --> 00:22:59,777
Has a stubborn streak
and a bad temper...
366
00:22:59,779 --> 00:23:02,345
And he snores.
367
00:23:05,516 --> 00:23:08,384
That'll just be
our little secret.