﻿1
00:00:02,301 --> 00:00:05,603
<i>♪ Thank you for being a friend</i>

2
00:00:05,605 --> 00:00:09,207
<i>♪ Traveled down the road</i>
<i>and back again</i>

3
00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:12,044
<i>♪ Your heart is true</i>

4
00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:16,948
<i>♪ You're a pal and a confidante</i>

5
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:19,984
<i>♪ And if you threw a party</i>

6
00:00:19,986 --> 00:00:23,822
<i>♪ Invited everyone you knew</i>

7
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:28,860
<i>♪ You would see</i> <i>the biggest
gift</i> <i>would be from me</i>

8
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,797
<i>♪ And the card attached</i>
<i>would say</i>

9
00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:38,035
<i>♪ "Thank you</i>
<i>for being a friend" ♪</i>

10
00:01:05,364 --> 00:01:07,832
Well, it's unspeakable,
that's what it is.

11
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:09,768
Absolutely unspeakable.

12
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:14,372
Oh, Blanche, are you pretending you
just found your first gray hair again?

13
00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:17,709
Dorothy, just because you have to walk
around lookin' like an English lawyer

14
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:20,611
doesn't mean everybody has to.

15
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:23,581
For your information,

16
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:26,384
I'm upset because I had a
date, and he canceled.

17
00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:30,021
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
Was it anybody special?

18
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,355
Well, that's not the point.

19
00:01:31,357 --> 00:01:35,093
He might have taken me someplace
where I'd meet someone who is.

20
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,761
You know, it's amazing.

21
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:40,031
Beneath that thin veneer
of superficiality,

22
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:41,532
somehow, miraculously,

23
00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:45,837
there is another
even thinner veneer.

24
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,472
What am I gonna do?

25
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:50,108
What on God's green earth
am I gonna do?

26
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,676
You can stay home tonight.

27
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:54,913
We're gonna watch one of those
John Bradshaw specials on PBS.

28
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:59,150
Yeah, we're gonna see if we can't get
Dorothy's inner child to shut up.

29
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,654
Good luck.

30
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,789
I'll call Mel Bushman.

31
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,458
Of course.
Mel Bushman.

32
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,126
Old reliable.
Mr. Backup.

33
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,794
How long has it been?

34
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,963
What, three years
that the two of you

35
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,132
have been insignificant others?

36
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,767
Yeah. Yes, it has been.

37
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:18,102
Mel and I have something
really unique.

38
00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:20,104
We're like - I don't know.

39
00:02:20,106 --> 00:02:23,642
What do you call it when two people
get together when they need somebody

40
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,845
but don't make demands on each
other when they're apart?

41
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:30,415
Out-call massage.

42
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:34,219
That's odd.
He's usually home by now.

43
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:37,622
Well, he is the zipper king.

44
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:40,358
Maybe he got stuck in traffic.

45
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,193
Ha-ha!

46
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:46,697
Tell me the truth.

47
00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:49,300
Do these glasses
make me look stupid?

48
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:54,940
Let's just say
they don't hide it.

49
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:57,575
The consumer show
asked me to test

50
00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,710
these chemically treated
lenses.

51
00:02:59,712 --> 00:03:02,948
The theory is they don't fog up
when you come in from the cold.

52
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,416
Excuse me.

53
00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:12,557
Rose, you wanna run
that looking stupid question

54
00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:14,526
by us again?

55
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,294
I'm just doing my job.

56
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:19,363
Rose, leave the glasses in the
refrigerator, close the door

57
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,800
and keep your head
out here with us.

58
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,035
How will I know if they fog up?

59
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,070
The little man
who lives in there

60
00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:29,174
who turns the light
on and off, he'll tell you.

61
00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:31,575
I'm not in the mood for jokes,

62
00:03:31,577 --> 00:03:33,644
especially
about the little man.

63
00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:36,447
You know he scares me.

64
00:03:38,417 --> 00:03:40,418
It's really
been hitting me lately.

65
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:42,787
Everybody's job
down at the TV station

66
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,789
is exciting but mine.

67
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:48,059
Well, then why not look for
a more challenging position?

68
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,927
I did hear something
about an opening

69
00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:52,129
for a weekend news reporter.

70
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:55,800
Oh, what am I talking about?
I don't have any experience.

71
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,568
You don't need experience.

72
00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:00,204
You've got the one thing
every TV reporter needs -

73
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:02,606
hair that doesn't move.

74
00:04:07,646 --> 00:04:11,048
Dorothy, Sophia,
I told the news director

75
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:14,752
I was interested in the reporter's
position, and guess what he did.

76
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,188
A Danny Thomas
spit-take?

77
00:04:19,057 --> 00:04:21,559
No, he's giving me
an actual news story

78
00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:23,561
to cover as an audition.

79
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,570
So I was hoping
you could help me

80
00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:34,405
get comfortable on camera

81
00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:37,309
so I'll be ready when he
gives me my assignment.

82
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:39,777
You know, Rose,
that's not a bad idea.

83
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,645
This'll be the camera,

84
00:04:41,647 --> 00:04:44,215
and let me see you
interview Dorothy.

85
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,283
Oh, no, no, no.
Not me, not me...

86
00:04:46,285 --> 00:04:48,520
Oh, Dorothy, please.
I'm not good at this.

87
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,354
This is a pretend microphone.

88
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:53,291
It's really just a hairbrush.

89
00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:58,730
All right, Rose.
Ready? Go!

90
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:01,165
This is Rose Nylund.

91
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:04,602
We're here chatting with my
good friend Dorothy Zbornak.

92
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:06,337
Welcome, Dorothy.

93
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:10,474
Hello. It's a pleasure
to be here.

94
00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:15,413
So, can you tell me
what it -

95
00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:17,115
Oh. So tell me, Dorothy,

96
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:20,051
what's it like
being a substitute teacher?

97
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:23,321
Rose, honey, excuse me, but I think
you should take another tack.

98
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,824
I'm not saying
that my job is boring...

99
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,626
Say it, Dorothy.
Say it.

100
00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:33,498
No, I just feel you should ask
more probing questions.

101
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,300
Okey-dokey. Let's see.

102
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:37,135
Ah.

103
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,937
Isn't it a fact
that you have a drawer full

104
00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,438
of retirement home brochures

105
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,042
and you're just waiting
for the first sign

106
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,943
of dribble
on your mother's chin

107
00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:49,180
to lock her away forever?

108
00:05:58,791 --> 00:06:01,726
<i>(laughs)</i> She -
She's kidding.

109
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:04,095
<i>(laughs)</i>

110
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,097
Your sock drawer, Dorothy.

111
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,332
You know, the -

112
00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:12,537
the one you-know-who
can't reach?

113
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:15,506
I knew you were keeping pictures
there, but I had no idea.

114
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:17,775
You disgust me.

115
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:20,445
Look, I don't have to stand for this.
Nail her, Rose.

116
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:22,413
Nail her. Remember,
a good reporter

117
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:25,250
always gets her story,
no matter what.

118
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:28,086
That sock drawer
is my business.

119
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:30,755
Look, those times
that Ma makes me crazy,

120
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:34,892
I go into my room and have
some pretend time, OK?

121
00:06:37,029 --> 00:06:42,867
This is Rose Nylund signing off
in a sad, sad situation.

122
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:49,541
Thanks, Dorothy.
That was fun.

123
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:51,376
Girls, I do not know
what I'm gonna do.

124
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,745
I called Mel all last night
and all of today.

125
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:57,014
I haven't gotten through to him yet.
Oh, the nerve.

126
00:06:57,016 --> 00:06:59,517
If you wind up
having to read a book

127
00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:01,820
because of that man...

128
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,087
Where can he be?

129
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,557
He never leaves the house,
not even for me.

130
00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:08,159
What is this Bushman-ia
all of a sudden?

131
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,995
This is a man you see,
what, five times a year?

132
00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,997
A man you yourself describe

133
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:16,000
as "Fred Flintstone
with a better car."

134
00:07:17,903 --> 00:07:22,006
Well, I may say things
like that, but the truth is

135
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:24,141
Mel makes me feel young

136
00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:26,377
and beautiful and special.

137
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:29,147
When we're together,
we laugh a lot.

138
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:32,716
Why wouldn't you?
You're both naked.

139
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:42,626
There's more to Mel and me
than just the physical, Sophia.

140
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:43,994
We share things.

141
00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:46,431
I couldn't be intimate
with just anybody.

142
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:50,568
Oh, yeah? What about the guy who
painted our address on the curb?

143
00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:57,207
You make it sound
like it was a one-night stand.

144
00:07:57,209 --> 00:07:59,543
He'll be back when it's faded.

145
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:04,448
Honey, Mel's probably
just busy with work,

146
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:06,317
not answering the phone.

147
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,720
You'll reach him.
You always do.

148
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:11,021
Dorothy's right.
You're worrying for nothing.

149
00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:13,157
I remember
back in St. Ol-

150
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,159
Hold it right there,
Will Rogers.

151
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:18,429
None of us is in the mood to hear
one of those St. Olaf stories.

152
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,598
Well, then, here's one
against your will.

153
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,933
But to show you
I'm a good sport,

154
00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:26,570
I'll get right to the part that'll
make Blanche feel better.

155
00:08:27,706 --> 00:08:29,974
Ah. Anyway...

156
00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:35,013
...everybody in the village
hated Ingmar.

157
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,015
So we grabbed our torches

158
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,483
and climbed the hill
to his castle

159
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:42,253
and pounded
on the great oak door,

160
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,022
but there was no answer.

161
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,925
So we got a ladder, climbed up
to the window, and we peeked in,

162
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:51,528
and to our relief, there
was Ingmar lying on the -

163
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:54,465
Oh, wait a minute.
He was dead.

164
00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:01,339
Oh, my God, Dorothy,
what if she's right?

165
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,408
What if something's
happened to Mel?

166
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:04,709
Good going, Rose.

167
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,945
Girls, I'm frightened.
You gotta go with me.

168
00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:09,347
I gotta go check on Mel.
Oh, of course, honey.

169
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:12,516
But I'm telling you, you
have nothing to worry about.

170
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:15,519
Way to go, Rose.
I thought you said that story would help.

171
00:09:15,521 --> 00:09:17,221
Well, it did.

172
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:21,325
You don't know how long I've been
waiting to get that one off my chest.

173
00:09:24,396 --> 00:09:25,629
Oh, my God.

174
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:28,132
There must be two weeks'
worth of papers here.

175
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,768
Now calm down honey.
This doesn't say "dead."

176
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,770
It says...

177
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:35,640
OK, let's get this over with.

178
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,574
Maybe we better
think this over.

179
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:40,812
We don't have any right to go
breaking into somebody's home.

180
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:43,414
We're not breaking in.
I have a key.

181
00:09:49,521 --> 00:09:51,689
Let's see.

182
00:09:53,725 --> 00:09:55,659
"Baldwin,"

183
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:57,661
"Baxter"...

184
00:09:57,663 --> 00:09:59,831
Ah, here it is.
"Bushman." No.

185
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,933
Oh, that's Al Bushman.

186
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,635
Here we go. "Mel Bushman."

187
00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,637
You know, girls,
I've been thinkin'.

188
00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:08,639
Ever since Mel and I met,

189
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:11,508
I always figured he'd be
around when I needed him,

190
00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:13,845
but I never thought
about his needs.

191
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,847
All I cared about were mine.

192
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:18,850
I just always figured he'd
be available, and he was.

193
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:21,352
Oh, girls, he's always
been there for me.

194
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,354
I just took him for granted.

195
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,756
Oh, honey, honey, don't
do this to yourself.

196
00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:29,293
You take everyone for granted.

197
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:32,096
Thank you, Dorothy.

198
00:10:36,835 --> 00:10:40,905
Well, so far nothing seems
out of place.

199
00:10:42,441 --> 00:10:45,943
Look at this Exercycle.
It's never been used.

200
00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:49,313
Oh, yeah, we've been on it.
Don't ask, Ma.

201
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,516
Oh, Dorothy, look.

202
00:10:52,518 --> 00:10:55,219
The zipper king's
one millionth zipper.

203
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:59,123
Ohh. I will never be able
to look at another zipper

204
00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:01,992
without thinkin' of Mel.

205
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:05,629
Let it go, honey.
Let it go.

206
00:11:08,934 --> 00:11:11,135
Mel, is that really you?!

207
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:12,804
No, it's Claus Von Bulow.

208
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,772
Oh, Mel, it's great to see you.

209
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,774
Blanche thought you were dead.

210
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,143
She did?
I love it.

211
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,412
What makes you think something
could kill Mel Bushman?

212
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,714
Where have you been?

213
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:25,182
I was on a vacation.
What's the big deal?

214
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,151
What made you think I was dead?

215
00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:30,521
If Mel Bushman doesn't answer my
call, then something must be wrong.

216
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,790
You weren't there
when I needed you.

217
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:35,093
You're always there
when I need you.

218
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:37,094
Well, when you deliver
such services,

219
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:39,964
every once in a while, a
man's gotta take a vacation.

220
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:42,667
All that matters now
is you're alive.

221
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:45,002
You're alive,
and we're together,

222
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:47,238
and I'm never gonna let you go.

223
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,439
Tell me she's being dramatic.

224
00:11:51,243 --> 00:11:53,644
When I thought
I would never see you again,

225
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:56,714
I began to realize
just how much you meant to me

226
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,349
and how much
I've taken you for granted

227
00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:03,020
and how many things I never
had a chance to say to you.

228
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:04,922
What I'm trying to say

229
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:07,257
is I realize
how much you mean to me

230
00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:09,293
and that I don't need
anybody else.

231
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:12,496
I wanna be a one-man woman,
and you're it.

232
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:15,599
Mel Bushman, I love you.

233
00:12:28,547 --> 00:12:30,748
I'm all ready for my big date.

234
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,751
What big date?
You're going out with Mel Bushman.

235
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,654
I know.
Isn't it wonderful?

236
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:39,290
Tonight, Mel and I are starting
a brand-new relationship.

237
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,292
Do you realize how rare it is

238
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,894
to find out the person
you've been sleeping with

239
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:45,863
is the person you love?

240
00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:52,003
No, but you can't go by me.
I have morals.

241
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:54,272
Oh.

242
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,806
Girls, great news.

243
00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:58,308
I got my assignment,
and it's a biggie.

244
00:12:58,310 --> 00:13:00,745
Oh, yeah, a biggie.
Real big.

245
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:02,747
Big, big, big.
Cat show?

246
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:05,516
Dog show.

247
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:07,518
Miami's 13th annual.

248
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,353
Oh, that's right, ladies.

249
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:13,558
This afternoon, I'm gonna get
the scoop on man's best friend.

250
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,326
Oh, congratulations, honey.

251
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,829
I know you're gonna do
a great job.

252
00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:21,766
Oh, I just wish my mother and
father were here to see this.

253
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:23,634
Because they'd be
so proud of you?

254
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:26,938
No, because they'd be alive.

255
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:30,942
Oh! My God,
I've got goose bumps.

256
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:33,144
Mel will be here any minute.

257
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:37,181
Why are you so jumpy?
You've been out with Mel a thousand times.

258
00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:39,516
I know, but now
there's more at stake.

259
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:42,286
Everything's changed.
It's all new and exciting.

260
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:46,390
In many ways, I feel just the
way I felt when I was a virgin.

261
00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:54,464
You mean, the feeling
isn't gonna last long?

262
00:13:57,269 --> 00:14:01,439
Are you implying I lost my
virginity at an early age?

263
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:04,775
I'm just saying you're lucky <i>Jack and
Jill</i> magazine didn't have a gossip column.

264
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:06,577
Ma!

265
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:10,748
Please, Pussycat,
I'm on a roll.

266
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,583
I'm sorry, Sophia, but I am
not gonna let your skepticism

267
00:14:13,585 --> 00:14:15,585
ruin my entire evening.

268
00:14:15,587 --> 00:14:18,322
Mel and I were meant
to be together.

269
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:21,291
I wish I could say the same
for your thighs.

270
00:14:29,334 --> 00:14:32,436
God, I'm hot tonight.

271
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:35,072
I'm not gonna stand for this.
Take it, Dorothy.

272
00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:38,208
But I'll bet
you'll lay down for it.

273
00:14:43,648 --> 00:14:46,150
Well, that was just plain rude.

274
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:52,856
Some people just don't know
when to quit.

275
00:14:58,096 --> 00:15:00,831
Look how they pamper
these dogs.

276
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,834
They eat when they want to,
sleep when they want to,

277
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,836
go to the bathroom
anywhere they -

278
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:08,305
Hey, I do have it pretty good.

279
00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:11,342
Now, if I could just get you
to crack the window

280
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,577
when you lock me in the car...

281
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,647
Ma, stop it.
Now, I want you to behave yourself.

282
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:19,416
We're here to give Rose
moral support on her big day,

283
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:22,420
and I don't want you doing or
saying anything to embarrass her.

284
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,987
Hi, girls.
Oh, hi, Rose.

285
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:25,989
This is Andy.
He's my cameraman.

286
00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:27,958
Andy, these are my friends.

287
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,094
Where do you think
we should set up?

288
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:33,230
I'm not sure, Mrs. Nylund.
To tell you the truth, this is my audition, too.

289
00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:34,899
How about over there?

290
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:38,235
Whatever you say.
Whatever you say.

291
00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:41,472
The blind
videotaping the blind.

292
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,641
Here goes.

293
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:46,276
And... we're rolling.

294
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:50,280
We're here at the 13th annual
Miami Pet Dog Expo,

295
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:54,218
where you're going
- All right, everybody, hands up!

296
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:56,353
All right, you, behind the
desk, I want the cash.

297
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:59,423
Everyone else, I want wallets
and jewelry! Move it!

298
00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:01,258
For God's sake,
we've gotta do something.

299
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:04,195
But he's got a gun.
What are we gonna do?

300
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,930
I'm gonna do the only thing
a good reporter can do.

301
00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:09,066
Get the story no matter what.

302
00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:11,402
All right, now you
just point your camera

303
00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:13,971
and do exactly as I say.

304
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,539
Give me the ring.

305
00:16:16,541 --> 00:16:18,942
Yes! Hurry up!

306
00:16:20,678 --> 00:16:22,246
This'll be far enough.

307
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:25,282
Thanks very much for making
this evening a total disaster.

308
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:27,284
Sweetheart,
give yourself some credit.

309
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:30,187
It wouldn't have been
a total disaster without you.

310
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:35,792
Oh... really, Mr.
"No Guy With an Earring Parks My Car"?

311
00:16:35,794 --> 00:16:38,795
My God. You'd think an
elegant restaurant like that

312
00:16:38,797 --> 00:16:41,432
would bring out
the best in a man.

313
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:44,635
What it brought out
was $250 from my wallet.

314
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,437
It was a special occasion.

315
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:50,874
Where I come from,
$250 is 5 special occasions...

316
00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:52,909
and a bottle of Scotch.

317
00:16:52,911 --> 00:16:55,913
You'd think for all that money,
they'd hang a picture on the wall.

318
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,748
The minimalist décor

319
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,418
is designed
to enhance conversation.

320
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:03,621
Nothing to look at,
what's to talk about?

321
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:05,389
I would think
I would be enough.

322
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:08,859
Talk about you? We didn't have
to go out on a date to do that.

323
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,227
You think I'm borin'?

324
00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:14,665
No, sweetheart,
I think you're fantastic.

325
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:17,968
With a guy like me, a little
fantastic goes a long way.

326
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:20,104
I mean, look what we got now.

327
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:23,207
Every couple of weeks you call me when
one of your boyfriends don't show up.

328
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,509
I tell ya, "Bushman awaits."

329
00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:28,145
We rent a movie,
we order some takeout,

330
00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:30,147
we talk about you.

331
00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:31,849
That's entertainment.

332
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,617
I love that.

333
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:35,585
And we cuddle.

334
00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:37,654
Sometimes we do more
than cuddle.

335
00:17:37,656 --> 00:17:39,656
Sometimes you stay.

336
00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:42,592
That's the part
I like the best -

337
00:17:42,594 --> 00:17:44,995
when you stay.

338
00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:48,532
Every couple of weeks, you bring a
little class to Bushman's place.

339
00:17:48,534 --> 00:17:51,836
Why, Mel Bushman, are
you sayin' you love me?

340
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:54,905
Yeah. I love you.

341
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,007
I love you the way we are now.

342
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:59,943
But, sweetheart, you start
with relationships and love,

343
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:04,348
and I gotta put on a tie twice a
week to eat food I can't even see...

344
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:06,717
I mean, we got a problem.

345
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,618
I guess that without
thinkin' about it,

346
00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:11,121
you've become a very
comfortable part of my life.

347
00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:13,457
When I thought
you were... gone,

348
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,692
suddenly life wasn't
so comfortable anymore.

349
00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:17,495
I really missed you.

350
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:20,898
Nah, you missed knowing
Bushman awaits. Mm.

351
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:24,701
Hey, I haven't spent this much
time thinking about feelings

352
00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:28,305
since we rented
the Alan Alda collection.

353
00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:30,808
Mel, I think
it's pretty obvious

354
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,110
our new relationship
just isn't gonna work out.

355
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,444
I don't think so.

356
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:37,447
Why don't we call it off
and go back to being friends?

357
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,283
I got a great idea.
Why don't you come over to my place?

358
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:42,953
I'm hungry. I'll go to
Wolfie's, get some pastrami.

359
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,922
We can rent <i>Out of Africa.</i>

360
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:48,125
We've rented it five times and
never made it through to the end.

361
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:52,296
I know, but it always works.

362
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:55,933
I do love you, Mel,
as a friend.

363
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:59,637
Like I said, sweetheart,
you got a lot of class.

364
00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:03,941
Life sucks.

365
00:19:05,843 --> 00:19:08,445
Hi, Mel.

366
00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:12,316
You run on home, and I'll be
over soon as I check on Rose.

367
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:15,019
Bushman awaits.

368
00:19:17,522 --> 00:19:19,389
I didn't get it.
What?

369
00:19:19,391 --> 00:19:21,325
I didn't get the job!

370
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:24,093
Oh, Rose, your little
dog show not go well?

371
00:19:24,095 --> 00:19:27,030
I'm so sorry.
Let's talk about me, then.

372
00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:32,169
Blanche, Rose did something
absolutely incredible tonight.

373
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,171
There was a robbery
at the dog show.

374
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,239
Ma and I were held hostage.

375
00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:38,275
Rose was
the only reporter there.

376
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:41,045
Well, shoot,
I missed everything.

377
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:43,313
Let's see the tape.
OK.

378
00:19:47,552 --> 00:19:50,086
<i>This is Rose Nylund</i>
<i>for Channel 8 News</i>

379
00:19:50,088 --> 00:19:52,422
<i>here at</i> <i>the Miami Pet Dog Expo,</i>

380
00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:55,992
<i>and I am an eyewitness</i>
<i>to something shocking...</i>

381
00:19:55,994 --> 00:19:57,527
<i>(gunshots)</i>

382
00:19:57,529 --> 00:20:01,130
<i>...people who look</i>
<i>like their dogs.</i>

383
00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:05,168
<i>I said keep quiet</i>
<i>and don't move!</i>

384
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:08,505
<i>That handsome fella</i> <i>you see back
there</i> <i>with his hand in the air</i>

385
00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:10,674
<i>is Brian Kingsley</i>
<i>of Boca Raton.</i>

386
00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:13,009
<i>With him</i>
<i>is his best buddy Barney,</i>

387
00:20:13,011 --> 00:20:16,280
<i>a basset hound you'd swear</i>
<i>was a member of his family.</i>

388
00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:17,781
<i>As we move closer,</i>

389
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,850
<i>you'll notice</i> <i>Barney's collar</i>

390
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:22,453
<i>matches Brian's Rolex.</i>

391
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:26,123
What do you think so far?

392
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:29,793
I'm glad I wasn't there.
TV does put 10 pounds on you.

393
00:20:31,696 --> 00:20:33,630
<i>I'm here beneath</i>
<i>the information table</i>

394
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:38,101
<i>with Bill Peterson and his</i> <i>similarly
profiled bulldog</i> <i>Churchill.</i>

395
00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:41,237
<i>It's amazing. That bulldog</i>
<i>could be your brother.</i>

396
00:20:41,239 --> 00:20:46,009
<i>But I guess</i> <i>you get that a lot.
</i> <i>Actually, I do.</i>

397
00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:47,277
<i>(gunshots)</i>

398
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:50,346
<i>Uh, could we</i>
<i>discuss this later?</i>

399
00:20:52,083 --> 00:20:53,350
Wow.

400
00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:56,687
Oh, thank you, Blanche,
but there's more.

401
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,621
<i>The police</i>
<i>have just informed me</i>

402
00:20:58,623 --> 00:21:02,192
<i>that there was also a robbery</i>
<i>by an unidentified man.</i>

403
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:05,662
<i>Perhaps this little fella</i>
<i>knows who he is.</i>

404
00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:19,209
I did that last part
after everything quieted down.

405
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:21,779
I thought it would kinda
tie things together.

406
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:24,381
<i>(all)</i> Wow.

407
00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:27,885
You didn't cover
the robbery at all?

408
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,352
Was I wrong again?

409
00:21:29,354 --> 00:21:31,354
I mean, I could have
covered the holdup,

410
00:21:31,356 --> 00:21:34,524
but it would have seemed like I
was giving in to sensationalism.

411
00:21:34,526 --> 00:21:36,359
I'm a reporter, damn it.

412
00:21:36,361 --> 00:21:39,730
They sent me to cover a story,
and that's what I did.

413
00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:41,364
I don't believe this.

414
00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:44,134
Rose, this was the
opportunity of a lifetime,

415
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,036
a one-in-a-million shot.

416
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,938
How could -
How could -

417
00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:50,607
How could they not
have given you the job?

418
00:21:50,609 --> 00:21:53,010
Maybe the issue here
is one of -

419
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:55,311
Oh, God, what can we call it?

420
00:21:55,313 --> 00:21:57,047
Editorial judgment.

421
00:21:57,049 --> 00:21:59,383
Really? You think so?
Oh, yes, Rose.

422
00:21:59,385 --> 00:22:00,517
Yes, I do.

423
00:22:00,519 --> 00:22:03,887
I guess it just isn't
the story they wanted.

424
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:05,989
Damn, you're good.

425
00:22:09,694 --> 00:22:11,595
Thank you, Dorothy.

426
00:22:11,597 --> 00:22:14,098
That makes me feel
so much better.

427
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:17,267
To tell you the truth, I'm still
not ashamed of what I did today.

428
00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:21,338
If Deborah Norville stopped for every serious
news story that happened around her,

429
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:24,274
she wouldn't be
where she is today.

430
00:22:25,543 --> 00:22:27,277
Well, Bushman awaits.

431
00:22:27,279 --> 00:22:29,979
You know,
I learned something tonight.

432
00:22:29,981 --> 00:22:33,316
A relationship is more
than sex and fun

433
00:22:33,318 --> 00:22:36,353
and videos and good times.

434
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:39,389
Thank God
this isn't a relationship.

