1
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:12,044
Oh, my God.
2
00:00:12,112 --> 00:00:14,307
Rosa's wearing pink.
Rosa's wearing pink!
3
00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:15,813
Are we sure
it's not a white shirt
4
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,975
that's just been bloodied
in a motorcycle crash?
5
00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:20,178
Or maybe it wasn't her.
Does she have a twin sister?
6
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:23,554
If Rosa had a twin, she would
have eaten her in the womb.
7
00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:26,615
Wait. Hold it. Stop. How come
none of you teased her about it?
8
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,160
It's Rosa. She's scary.
9
00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:30,258
You guys are unbelievable.
10
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,298
I once wore a tie
with a splash of purple.
11
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,162
You guys called me
Mr. Grapes for two years.
12
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:36,293
Oh, Mr. Grapes!
13
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:38,303
I forgot about
Mr. Grapes.
14
00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:40,800
If I wore a pink shirt,
you'd tear me to shreds.
15
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,206
Well, yeah, but you'd look like
a My Little Pony with a gun.
16
00:00:44,644 --> 00:00:46,578
Let me guess. Your theater
club is putting on Grease
17
00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:47,943
and you're playing a pink lady.
18
00:00:48,014 --> 00:00:49,447
Nice. That's good.
19
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:50,574
What are you guys laughing at?
20
00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:52,140
If Boyle was wearing
a pink shirt.
21
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:53,583
I get it.
That's hilarious.
22
00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:56,349
What's happening?
Rosa's the one wearing pink!
23
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:58,212
And?
24
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:01,424
It's gorgeous.
Wish I could pull that off.
25
00:01:01,494 --> 00:01:02,984
Dream on, strawberry shortcake.
26
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,758
Yeah, nice try,
Mr. Grapes.
27
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:08,195
Mr. Grapes!
28
00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:09,633
Mr. Grapes!
29
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:23,000
Ripped By mstoll
30
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,887
Last night, several
masked men robbed
31
00:01:31,958 --> 00:01:33,926
a number of check cashing
locations in our precinct.
32
00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:35,288
They also hit several locations
33
00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:36,350
in the Nine-Three,
34
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,329
so this will be a joint
investigation.
35
00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:41,231
Detective David Majors
is already on the case.
36
00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:43,564
Whoa. Dave Majors?
Seriously?
37
00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:44,796
Who's that?
38
00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:47,601
He's the best detective
in the NYPD, myself included.
39
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,938
His arrest numbers
are staggering.
40
00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:52,409
His conviction rate
is magnificent.
41
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:54,208
He is blotter dynamite.
42
00:01:55,381 --> 00:01:57,042
I mean, I'm cool. I'm just
hanging out with you guys.
43
00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:59,280
Okay, but what's his body like,
44
00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:01,252
on a scale from
Charles to Terry?
45
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:02,952
Sorry, buddy.
46
00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:04,956
What? I'm the 10.
47
00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:06,415
Sure you are.
48
00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:08,290
Majors does just fine.
49
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,659
His girlfriend is the weather
lady from Channel 5.
50
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:12,630
You know, the one who's always
reaching for Cooperstown?
51
00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:14,257
Love her.
52
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:15,733
Well, I need someone
to partner up with him.
53
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:16,826
Oh, I'll do it!
Ooh! Me, me, me, me, me!
54
00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:18,837
Sir, with all due respect,
I'm the obvious choice.
55
00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:21,533
I mean, look at me.
Not in profile.
56
00:02:21,774 --> 00:02:23,139
Sir, please let the record show
57
00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:25,143
that the sauce on his
face is from yesterday.
58
00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:26,940
And it is that level
of eagle-eyed observation
59
00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:28,173
- that I plan to bring to...
- Enough.
60
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:29,745
You can both work the case.
61
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:31,406
Three heads are better than two.
62
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,419
Also, I fear any other decision I make
will just result in further noise.
63
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:35,476
Good call, sir.
64
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:36,647
I was just about
to start chanting
65
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:37,781
"Vote for Jake."
66
00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:39,825
Let's do it anyway.
Vote for Jake!
67
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,121
Vote for Jake!
Dismissed.
68
00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:42,627
Yeah.
69
00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:45,823
Code Chartreuse. I
repeat, Code Chartreuse.
70
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:48,629
Gina, for the last time, please
limit your alerts to ROY-G-BIV.
71
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:50,635
Disappointing.
Code Chartreuse means
72
00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:52,364
the recruiter from
Copperhead Security,
73
00:02:52,438 --> 00:02:53,632
Gary Shaw, is here.
74
00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:55,731
Gary Shaw has attempted
to pry me away
75
00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:57,833
from the NYPD for eight years.
76
00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:00,436
When he makes his offer,
I know just what I'll say.
77
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,706
Never is not just
a crater on Mars.
78
00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:05,309
Of course, it is
a crater on Mars.
79
00:03:05,451 --> 00:03:06,440
That's hilarious.
80
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,646
It's not meant to be funny, Boyle.
It's meant to be devastating.
81
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,581
Captain Holt, good to see you.
82
00:03:11,824 --> 00:03:12,882
Mr. Shaw,
83
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:14,551
let's just cut to the chase.
84
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:17,393
Never is not just
a crater on Mars.
85
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:23,226
Of course, it is
a crater on Mars.
86
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:24,702
Well actually,
I'm not here for you.
87
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:27,171
A member of your squad
reached out to me.
88
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,673
A Sergeant Terry Jeffords.
89
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,010
Oh. Oh, I see.
90
00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:34,876
Well, uh, Sergeant
Jeffords is out there.
91
00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:36,170
Thank you, Captain.
92
00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:39,147
There's my guy!
Terry the tank!
93
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:42,286
What? Guys? What? Guys.
94
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,854
Terry called him?
He's shaking Terry's hand.
95
00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:46,619
Now, I'm just describing
everything that's happening.
96
00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:47,921
What the hell is going on?
97
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:49,086
I do not know.
98
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:50,925
And now Captain Holt
doesn't know!
99
00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,940
Well, well, well.
What do we have here?
100
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,038
Oh, Majors isn't here yet?
101
00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:05,236
I wasted all that coolness
on a bunch of nobodies.
102
00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:08,947
I'm just gonna reset.
103
00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:11,716
Jake, he's a highly
decorated detective.
104
00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:13,843
He's not gonna be impressed
by your sunglass choreography.
105
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:16,685
He's gonna be too distracted
by my notebook flip.
106
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:17,745
Hey, Detective.
107
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,655
Shut up. Shut up. He's here.
108
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,326
Hey, you must be the
Nine-Nine. I'm Majors.
109
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:24,693
Hey. Peralta.
This is Santiago.
110
00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:28,129
Well, well, well.
What do we have here?
111
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:29,725
You mean here in my notebook?
112
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:32,199
I looked into the baby masks
the perps were wearing,
113
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,297
and no stores in the
tri-state area sell them.
114
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:36,137
Reminds me of a murder
I worked a few years back.
115
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:37,673
Perp always wore
these weird masks
116
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:39,336
and we couldn't figure out
where he bought them.
117
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:42,381
Turns out he was making his
own masks from human skin.
118
00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:45,816
No! That is so awesome.
119
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,810
Really, Amy? For whom?
120
00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:51,980
Sounds to me like those face masks
were once somebody's face faces.
121
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:54,589
That's true, Peralta. I
think about that every day.
122
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,323
You and me both. Ahh.
123
00:04:57,897 --> 00:05:00,730
Okay, I'm gonna look around,
take a few statements.
124
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,859
G.C. G.C. Good call.
Good call. Yeah.
125
00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:04,061
Tight, tight, tight,
tight, tight.
126
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:07,334
Well, looks like round
one goes to Peralta.
127
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:08,840
And don't worry, I'm
just getting warmed up.
128
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:13,106
I still have eight sunglass moves
locked and loaded. Make that nine.
129
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,308
Oui.
130
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:24,285
So, how was lunch?
131
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:27,052
It was good.
I had the T-bone with...
132
00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:28,559
I don't give a crap
about the food.
133
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:30,255
Just email me about that later.
134
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:31,589
What happened with Gary?
135
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:35,191
He gave me the hard sell.
Look at all this swag I got.
136
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,132
Puffy vest, carabiner.
137
00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:39,895
Terry, carabiners suck.
138
00:05:39,972 --> 00:05:42,941
You want free stuff?
Here you go, all right?
139
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,239
You can have anything you
want from Amy's desk. Yeah.
140
00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:46,369
Gary made me an offer.
141
00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:51,848
Better hours, great benefits,
a serious pay raise,
142
00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,681
my own office. With walls!
143
00:05:53,986 --> 00:05:55,749
Did you tell him Terry
doesn't love walls?
144
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:57,480
No. Terry loves walls.
145
00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:00,388
I'm seriously considering
saying yes.
146
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:02,189
Look, I have another
kid on the way.
147
00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:03,694
Do you know how much
diapers cost?
148
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:04,752
Yes.
149
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:12,132
The point is, I'm trying to
do what's best for my family.
150
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:13,832
It's not just about me.
151
00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:18,934
Exactly. It's about me. And how you're
abandoning me to these squares.
152
00:06:20,813 --> 00:06:23,077
Yikes. Look at all
these baby masks.
153
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:25,845
Looks like someone's due
for a spanking from Papa Law.
154
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:26,907
Nice.
155
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:31,446
So, the van was stolen from a rental lot
three weeks ago and dumped here yesterday.
156
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,950
Talk about a
curb-side drop-off.
157
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:36,653
We're working a case here, Amy.
158
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:38,094
It's not Showtime at the Apollo.
159
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:40,423
Great point.
Thank you so much, Jake.
160
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,964
Well, I'm gonna go sign
the van over to forensics.
161
00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:49,333
Hey, listen, I'm a member of this
invite-only speakeasy called The Keychain.
162
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,740
Do you want to go get
a drink there later?
163
00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:53,040
I'd ask Amy also, but I
can only bring one guest.
164
00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:55,376
Nah, it's cool. I'm sure
she's busy tonight anyway.
165
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:56,813
Taxes are due in eight months.
166
00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:58,248
Actually, they were
due two weeks ago.
167
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:02,019
Well, that is a horrible surprise.
But the point is...
168
00:07:02,121 --> 00:07:03,816
Drink sounds good.
169
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:14,789
Password?
170
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,326
Tropical.
171
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:23,437
Oh, my gah.
172
00:07:24,877 --> 00:07:27,437
This place is amazing.
173
00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:29,447
Yeah, I come here after
every case I solve.
174
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:30,675
Which means I'm here a lot.
175
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:33,218
Oh, nice. Every time I solve
one, I go get a steak dinner.
176
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,254
My cholesterol
is uh-terrible.
177
00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:37,380
Milo,
this is my friend, Jake.
178
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,685
We're working a case together.
179
00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:40,316
Yeah, and this is
my friend, Dave.
180
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:41,951
We're friends.
I'll have a, uh...
181
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,290
Oh, no.
You don't order here.
182
00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:46,797
Milo makes you a drink he knows
you'll love, and then you love it.
183
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,197
Really? Interesting.
184
00:07:48,267 --> 00:07:49,791
Barrel proof bourbon, neat.
185
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:51,729
Orange soda chaser.
186
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:53,362
Oh, well, to the
first of many hangs.
187
00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:55,632
Yeah, totally. Listen.
188
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,473
The reason I brought you here
is I wanted to ask you...
189
00:07:58,544 --> 00:07:59,806
What's the deal with Santiago?
190
00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:02,211
Amy? Oh, no, did she
do something weird?
191
00:08:02,281 --> 00:08:03,475
No. No, she's great.
192
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:06,074
I just wanted to know if there's something
going on with you two, you know.
193
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,210
Are you together...
194
00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:08,583
Oh. No.
195
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,785
Cool. When this case is over,
I'm gonna ask her out.
196
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:12,950
Oh.
197
00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:15,956
You're gonna ask out Amy
when the case ends.
198
00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:17,188
Perfect.
199
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:19,858
Oh.
200
00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:21,399
Yeah, that's a sipping whiskey.
201
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:24,027
So it is.
202
00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:35,102
Seems about right.
203
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,205
What's wrong with you?
204
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:40,184
You and Majors have too much fun
last night at The Keychain?
205
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,721
Okay. It's a private bar,
not a haunted motel.
206
00:08:42,788 --> 00:08:44,688
And no, I did not
have a good time.
207
00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:46,820
Turns out he didn't want
to be best bros at all.
208
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,087
He just wanted to know
if I was cool him with
209
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,650
asking Amy out
when the case ended.
210
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:50,821
I thought he was dating
that weather girl.
211
00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:53,092
No, he dumped her 'cause she blamed
Hurricane Sandy on gay marriage.
212
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:54,723
Mmm. Anyways, now
when the case ends,
213
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,496
Amy's gonna marry
Detective Blotter Dynamite.
214
00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:59,595
Why do you even care?
Do you still like her?
215
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:01,697
I don't know.
I mean, we're friends.
216
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:03,902
Things have been
kind of flirty lately.
217
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:06,604
Plus, we had this weird
romantic moment thingy
218
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,044
at Charles and Gina's
parents' wedding.
219
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:09,411
Ugh, just say
you still like her.
220
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,109
All right, fine.
I still like her.
221
00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:12,776
I've been thinking
about asking her out
222
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:14,683
for the last couple of
weeks, but it's hard.
223
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:16,085
There's so much buildup
now, you know?
224
00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:18,453
Not really. I don't ask people out,
I just tell them where we're going.
225
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:20,249
Great. Well, it doesn't
matter now anyway,
226
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:21,520
'cause I told Dave to go for it.
227
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:22,583
That was crazy stupid.
228
00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:24,852
Sorry.
That was normal stupid.
229
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:25,989
You should have told
him to back off.
230
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,862
I can't go around telling
guys not to ask Amy out
231
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:29,925
because I like her and I'm too
dumb to do anything about it.
232
00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:32,562
I can't make a woman's choice for her.
I stand with Wendy.
233
00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:33,798
Did I do that right?
No.
234
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:36,307
Oh. Look. If you want to
give her a real choice,
235
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:39,003
you've got to let her know
that you are an option.
236
00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:41,807
I think you know what
you've got to do. Yeah.
237
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:44,381
Ask her out before
the case ends, right?
238
00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:47,681
I just wanna be extra clear. The stakes
are through the roof for me on this one.
239
00:09:51,023 --> 00:09:52,012
You wanted to see us?
240
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:53,789
What are these
requisition forms?
241
00:09:53,859 --> 00:09:57,124
We are throwing Terry
a "please stay" party.
242
00:09:57,196 --> 00:10:00,757
My vision is a frozen yogurt
machine operated by Pam Grier.
243
00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:04,200
Sir, we think Sarge is going
to accept Copperhead's offer.
244
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:06,162
I never thought
I'd say these words.
245
00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:08,229
You have to put Gina
in touch with Pam Grier.
246
00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:10,400
No. Sergeant Jeffords can
make up his mind without
247
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:12,944
the influence of Foxy Brown
or cold yogurt.
248
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:14,001
He is a grown man.
249
00:10:14,146 --> 00:10:16,137
Oh, I see what's going on here.
250
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:19,614
You're upset that Terry would even
consider leaving the Nine-Nine.
251
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:23,620
I'd expect this pettiness from a
spineless amoeba like Charles,
252
00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:24,747
but not you, sir.
253
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,686
I'm not spineless.
Come on, Charles.
254
00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:27,817
Yep.
255
00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:31,163
Ah, look who's finally here.
256
00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:32,663
We already solved
the case without you.
257
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:33,892
What? You did?
258
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:37,094
Kidding. Oliver was actually
giving us some pretty bad news.
259
00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:38,227
Carry on, Oliver.
260
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,864
So, we swabbed the whole van
and we didn't find anything.
261
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:43,170
No hairs, no fibers, no semen.
262
00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:44,539
And a rental van is usually
263
00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,601
a fricking Jackson Pollock.
All right.
264
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:49,648
They also wiped down the masks
with some sort of bleach solution.
265
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:51,910
They were really covering their tracks.
Check it out.
266
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,452
Well, that wasn't very helpful.
267
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,045
Although, I did learn I should
never rent a van again. Hmm.
268
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,120
Hey, can I talk to you
for a second? Privately?
269
00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:02,417
Uh, sure. Oh, wait. This isn't gonna
be that thing where you pretend
270
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,521
you got an important text from Holt and
it's just that video of screaming sheep?
271
00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:08,098
I promise you it's not,
but I do stand by that prank.
272
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,667
So, what's up?
273
00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:13,636
Okay, um...
274
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:18,542
Uh, I almost feel weird saying
this, but I wanted to ask you...
275
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,408
Wow, those pictures
are not helping.
276
00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:24,916
Oh, my God. They're really gonna have
to re-grout. Ugh, finding a contractor.
277
00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:28,442
You are so consistent. Anyways, the
question I wanted to ask you is...
278
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,352
So, I got the results
on that feces.
279
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,983
It's human,
but it's not all human.
280
00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:34,452
You're not Dr. Gassner.
281
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,256
We are not.
Can you give us a sec?
282
00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:37,920
Sure. Real quick,
what was the other...
283
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:39,828
It's dog and bear.
Wow.
284
00:11:40,666 --> 00:11:42,827
I thought you'd really be
into that feces puzzle.
285
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:46,167
Normally, yes, but I want to talk to
you about something else right now.
286
00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:48,297
More specifically...
Guys, dispatch just called.
287
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:51,343
Great, Dave's here now. The check
cashing babies just struck on Flatbush.
288
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:53,275
- We gotta go.
- Lead the way.
289
00:11:54,346 --> 00:11:56,371
What did you wanna tell me?
Oh, um.
290
00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:59,115
Captain Holt sent
a very important text.
291
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:00,174
Oh.
292
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:10,285
What's that smell?
293
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:13,531
That's lavender.
Terry loves lavender.
294
00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:18,662
A little homemade honey yogurt
infused with lavender and love.
295
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,730
Mmm! That is delicious.
296
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:26,302
Hold it. This isn't some weird breast
milk or something is it, Boyle?
297
00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:28,243
I mean, technically,
it's from a sheep's breast.
298
00:12:28,647 --> 00:12:30,740
Hey, Terry, got
any new baby pics?
299
00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:32,511
You hate looking
at pictures of my twins.
300
00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:35,649
You said since they were identical, I
didn't need to take photos of both.
301
00:12:35,721 --> 00:12:38,952
That doesn't sound like Auntie Gina.
I love your baby pics.
302
00:12:39,024 --> 00:12:42,425
And your stories about
the twins' sleep schedules.
303
00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:44,826
Okay. I know what
you two are doing.
304
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:49,031
This is your weird way of trying
to make me stay at the Nine-Nine.
305
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,600
Well, I am loving it.
306
00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:55,340
You know, the funny thing
is, Cagney naps better,
307
00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:57,705
but at night, that's
Lacey's time to shine.
308
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,176
One time,
she went eight to eight.
309
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:00,404
Wow!
Dang!
310
00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:01,503
I know!
311
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:05,141
Jeffords, I need you to digitize all
your case files from 1995 to 1999
312
00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:07,048
inclusive by tomorrow
at 9:00 a.m.
313
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,715
But it's already 1:00.
314
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,756
I told Sharon we'd
have dinner tonight.
315
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,522
I was gonna have a cup of coffee
316
00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:15,617
so that I could stay up
and, um, kiss.
317
00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:17,525
I suggest putting that caffeine
318
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:19,757
towards something
more productive than...
319
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,622
"Kissing."
320
00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:23,929
Sir, what are you doing?
321
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:27,632
Making sure Jeffords' case files are
digitized by tomorrow at 9:00 a.m.
322
00:13:27,706 --> 00:13:29,401
I thought I was perfectly clear.
323
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:33,544
I gotta call my wife.
Tell her date night is off.
324
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:37,212
I sent her all those kiss-face
emojis for no damned reason.
325
00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:42,713
Oh, no. Despite what I've been saying
for years, that ass just might quit.
326
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,523
I don't get it. There's no rhyme or
reason to the locations they hit.
327
00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:48,116
This place was
so well-guarded.
328
00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:51,163
I mean, why not hit the one down the
street that just has an old man out front?
329
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:52,492
It just seems so random.
330
00:13:53,632 --> 00:13:56,658
Yeah. It's like...
Oh, that feels great.
331
00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:59,971
I don't think it's random. These
guys are too good, you know?
332
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,872
We'll crack it. I'm gonna
go grab some coffee.
333
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:03,964
Great.
334
00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:08,236
Hey, uh, now that it's just us,
335
00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:13,183
there's a thing I wanted
to say a-da-sa you.
336
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:15,515
Why doesn't your mouth work?
"Why doesn't your mouth work."
337
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:16,646
Title of our sex tape.
What?
338
00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:19,748
Your sex tape. What? No.
Look.
339
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:21,826
Here's what I wanted to say.
340
00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:24,388
Oh, no, I just figured it out.
341
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,531
Huh?
Here. Look.
342
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,692
The trash cans,
the van, the jumpsuit...
343
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:31,201
They all say Johnny's Janitorial.
Not random.
344
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:33,238
They cased each
location as cleaners.
345
00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:35,136
That's why the van
was so spotless.
346
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:36,299
Hey. What'd I miss?
347
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:37,637
Jake just solved the case!
348
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,575
Holy crap.
That's awesome!
349
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:41,869
All right!
350
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:43,505
I mean...
But, you know,
351
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:45,049
it's not totally done yet.
352
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:46,675
You know,
still a long way to go.
353
00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:50,188
Tons of paperwork. And a case is never
truly done until the trial is complete
354
00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:53,953
and the sentence is served completely
to its fruition in prison.
355
00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:55,550
Jake, just celebrate.
356
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:57,019
Okay.
357
00:14:57,763 --> 00:14:59,424
Wow!
358
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:04,196
Why the long face?
359
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,170
That Mexican candy giving
you nerve damage again?
360
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,001
Probably, but who even cares?
361
00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:09,705
Why did I have to
solve the case?
362
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:12,209
Why couldn't I have just let those
guys continue to terrorize Brooklyn
363
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,007
until I built up the nerve
to ask out a girl?
364
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:16,172
You're a good cop. Do not
beat yourself up about that.
365
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:19,308
I'm not a good cop, I'm an amazing
cop, and I'll never forgive myself.
366
00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:22,510
The case is over, Amy and Majors are on
their way to The Keychain right now.
367
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,488
It's too late. Has she
done the double tuck yet?
368
00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:26,080
Hmm?
When Amy really likes a guy,
369
00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:29,184
she gets nervous and tucks her hair
behind both ears at the same time.
370
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:33,758
Well, I can never
un-see that.
371
00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:35,459
But no,
she has not done that yet.
372
00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:38,401
Then there's still time. Get
in there and bust up her date.
373
00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:40,997
Show her you care.
Ruin her night.
374
00:15:41,173 --> 00:15:43,073
You really have
a unique take on love.
375
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:51,082
Ugh, I've only gotten
through September of '95.
376
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:52,447
What are you guys doing here?
377
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,008
Blowing your stupid mind.
378
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:55,644
We did the rest of
the files for you.
379
00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:59,020
Seriously?
I'm gonna text my wife.
380
00:15:59,591 --> 00:16:02,116
Now there's time for
dinner and a movie.
381
00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:04,059
And none of that
on-demand crap.
382
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:07,562
Tonight, I'm gonna fall asleep
in a real movie theater.
383
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:10,193
Yeah, that's how we
do it in the Nine-Nine.
384
00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:12,635
We've got each other's backs.
Damn right.
385
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,798
Charles, make your own point.
386
00:16:14,873 --> 00:16:16,397
Don't just pile onto mine.
387
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:17,635
Gina,
where have you been?
388
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,076
You left your cell phone on your
desk, and I assumed you were dead.
389
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:22,375
Mmm, I would clearly be
buried with my phone.
390
00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:26,509
Sir, these guys already
digitized all my files for me.
391
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:27,811
Isn't that amazing?
392
00:16:27,886 --> 00:16:30,218
What? Why did you snatch up
Sergeant Jefford's task?
393
00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:32,257
Because we're trying
to get him to stay.
394
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,655
Well, that's not your job.
395
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:37,492
And Jeffords, you can stay here and
digitize 2000 through 2005 inclusive.
396
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:38,894
I expect it done by the morning.
397
00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:44,934
Great. Now I have to
re-cancel on Sharon.
398
00:16:45,437 --> 00:16:47,837
If I worked at Copperhead,
I'd be home by now.
399
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:51,576
Swimming in a pool of gold coins
like my boy, Scrooge McDuck.
400
00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:57,304
Password?
401
00:16:57,383 --> 00:16:58,407
Tropical.
402
00:16:58,484 --> 00:17:01,078
Mmm-mmm.
That's an old password.
403
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,142
Changes every night.
404
00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:05,855
All right, fine.
Tropical one?
405
00:17:05,924 --> 00:17:07,289
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
406
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:09,322
Ahh!
407
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:12,091
Ha-ha!
Not cool. Okay?
408
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,995
Look, just ask Milo, the bartender.
All right? He knows me.
409
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:16,466
Tell him orange soda's back.
410
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:17,729
I don't know no Milo.
411
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:20,837
The bartenders also change
their names every night.
412
00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:23,602
Get out of here until you
know the password, man.
413
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,740
Damn it!
This place is so cool.
414
00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:32,147
Come on, strangers.
Show me your lips.
415
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,183
There you go. Got it.
416
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:43,151
Pepper.
417
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,217
Pooper.
418
00:17:47,699 --> 00:17:48,688
Popcorn.
419
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,270
Plor-pa-pa. Plorp.
420
00:17:54,973 --> 00:17:56,167
Park. Parks.
421
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:58,632
Okay.
422
00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:05,839
Yeah.
423
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,116
Norse.
424
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:14,648
Bull's eye.
425
00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:18,287
Oh, no. The double tuck.
426
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:22,957
Oh, hey!
427
00:18:23,635 --> 00:18:25,068
You wouldn't kick out
a hopeless romantic
428
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,661
who's only here in the
name of love, would you?
429
00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:28,063
Oh, you would.
430
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:35,972
Terry! So, what happened
at breakfast with Gary?
431
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:37,106
Are you leaving us
for Copperhead?
432
00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:40,117
Because I am prepared to light
Charles on fire in protest.
433
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:44,354
Relax. I declined the offer,
told them I wasn't interested.
434
00:18:44,423 --> 00:18:45,447
Eat it, Gary!
435
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:46,786
I gave him back all his swag.
436
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:51,160
Except for the puffy vest,
which, I, uh, lost.
437
00:18:58,737 --> 00:19:00,500
I'm staying at
the Nine-Nine!
438
00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:01,664
Whoo!
439
00:19:02,674 --> 00:19:04,232
Good news, Sergeant.
440
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:08,405
Really? So, you're done
trying to push him out, Yoko?
441
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:12,583
Whoa. Don't give Captain Holt a hard time.
He's the reason I'm staying.
442
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:13,948
I don't know what
you're talking about.
443
00:19:14,019 --> 00:19:16,180
You're an adult and you
came to your own decision.
444
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,150
Look at me. I can't
keep a straight face.
445
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,119
I played you like a fiddle.
446
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:25,956
Yeah, you did. Digitizing those old files
reminded me of all the cases I worked
447
00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:27,555
and all the good
we do in the community.
448
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:30,767
What's best for my family is
that they grow up with a dad
449
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,360
who's proud of what he does.
450
00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:33,426
Thank you, Captain.
451
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:38,741
Look at you. You're like the wise old
owl from those lollipop commercials.
452
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:40,805
Terry's back!
453
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:44,514
Hey, buddy.
Sorry I'm late.
454
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:46,448
I had to get this dumb medal
from the commissioner
455
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,281
for a double murder
I solved last year.
456
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:50,787
Been there. I had a pretty
crazy morning myself.
457
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,551
Jake, your taquitos exploded
in the toaster oven.
458
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:54,785
Thanks, Rosa.
Ten-four. Copy that.
459
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:56,322
So, how'd it go with Santiago?
460
00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:58,795
Actually, she wasn't into it.
Swing and a miss.
461
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:01,059
You're kidding.
Yeah, it was really weird.
462
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:03,761
I've never been turned down before.
So unexpected.
463
00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:05,593
I'm excited to see
what happens to me next.
464
00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:08,061
Okay.
465
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,809
So, Blotter Dynamite
struck out, huh?
466
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,812
I know, but why?
What does it mean?
467
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:15,938
And why did she double tuck?
468
00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:17,003
How come she turned him down?
469
00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:18,310
Do you think it had something
to do with me, Rosa?
470
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:19,372
What is she thinking?
Jake.
471
00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:20,577
Yeah, I should ask her myself.
472
00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:24,047
Hey, you just missed Majors.
473
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,220
I gotta say, he was lookin'
a little bit rough.
474
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:28,589
Almost like he was up all
night crying or something.
475
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:30,890
Ha-ha, Jake.
I'm sure he's fine.
476
00:20:31,029 --> 00:20:33,463
So, what happened?
477
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:36,365
Well, I thought we were getting a
drink to celebrate closing the case,
478
00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:38,528
but apparently,
he thought it was a date.
479
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:39,935
Right. And you were
not into that
480
00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:42,166
because he's so muscular and
in command of his finances?
481
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:46,309
He's great, but after everything
that happened with Teddy,
482
00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:48,642
and all the cops I know
who go out and break up
483
00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:51,012
and then still have to work
together, it's just too messy.
484
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:53,179
I got a new rule.
I don't date cops.
485
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:55,848
Cool. Cool. Yeah.
486
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,048
Actually, that's funny.
I have the same rule.
487
00:20:58,123 --> 00:20:59,181
No more cops.
488
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,988
From this point on, it's
strictly dating criminals.
489
00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:04,426
If you break up with them, you can
always send them to jail forever.
490
00:21:04,496 --> 00:21:06,088
Exactly. Nice and clean.
491
00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:07,222
Mmm-hmm.
492
00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:11,364
Hey, I got an email from the
commissioner's office about our case.
493
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:12,664
What'd they say?
494
00:21:14,072 --> 00:21:15,596
Ah! Ah-ha!
495
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:17,400
You got me.
With my thing.
496
00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:18,465
Mmm-hmm.
497
00:21:18,543 --> 00:21:19,532
Great. Oh!
498
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:30,500
Ripped By mstoll