1
00:00:16,670 --> 00:00:18,196
Three weeks earlier.

2
00:00:18,196 --> 00:00:19,859
Huh?

3
00:00:19,859 --> 00:00:23,400
You know how sometimes a movie
or a show begins on a random,

4
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,465
intriguing scene with no context
given encouraging you to wonder whoa,

5
00:00:26,465 --> 00:00:28,020
how'd this crazy scenario come to be?

6
00:00:28,020 --> 00:00:29,940
And then it cuts to black
and a title comes up and

7
00:00:29,940 --> 00:00:30,830
says three weeks earlier.

8
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:33,380
Huh. Here we are.

9
00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:34,950
Sitting in silence, crammed into an RV.

10
00:00:34,950 --> 00:00:38,122
Winding through the mountain roads
of Colorado with a 19 foot fiberglass

11
00:00:38,122 --> 00:00:39,087
hand tied to the roof.

12
00:00:41,670 --> 00:00:44,047
If there was ever a time to cut to
three weeks earlier it'd be right now.

13
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,588
Know what I mean?

14
00:00:57,111 --> 00:00:58,384
Elroy you got any booze?

15
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,050
Don't go through my stuff!

16
00:01:02,050 --> 00:01:04,091
This isn't a bus. You're standing in
my living room, kitchen, and bedroom.

17
00:01:04,091 --> 00:01:05,762
Ooh I never thought about that.

18
00:01:05,762 --> 00:01:09,810
And your backyard is 24,900 miles long,

19
00:01:09,810 --> 00:01:13,866
because it's the
circumference of the Earth.

20
00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:16,880
Because you have no home.

21
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:17,820
Did anyone need water?

22
00:01:17,820 --> 00:01:18,840
What else can we talk about?

23
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,430
I guess to make it really intriguing,

24
00:01:20,430 --> 00:01:22,670
one of us should be visibly injured
in a way that makes you wonder how it

25
00:01:22,670 --> 00:01:24,210
happened Like if Britta had a black eye.

26
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,060
Dean, can I speak to you privately?

27
00:01:29,060 --> 00:01:30,596
I'm pretty sure the answer is no.

28
00:01:30,596 --> 00:01:31,421
Coming up.

29
00:01:37,795 --> 00:01:41,131
You know, when I agreed to hold
this thing for you and the school,

30
00:01:41,131 --> 00:01:44,360
you didn't say anything about
six people sitting back there.

31
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,045
Man, I wonder what they're talking about.

32
00:01:46,045 --> 00:01:46,628
God!

33
00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:47,421
Who knows?

34
00:01:47,421 --> 00:01:51,230
They're sealed off behind
this soundproof vinyl.

35
00:01:51,230 --> 00:01:53,320
I will drive my house off a cliff.

36
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,000
Elroy, we're not here
to snoop or judge you.

37
00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:00,225
You're not the first person to
have dirty dishes, CD rom porn and

38
00:02:00,225 --> 00:02:04,320
framed photos of yourself with
two biracial teenagers in a park.

39
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:05,360
It's not that.

40
00:02:06,930 --> 00:02:08,295
All of this weight.

41
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:15,870
I may have miscalculated the mileage.

42
00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:17,640
Darn it, I wanna hijack this RV, but

43
00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:21,590
I'm foiled by its impenetrable
post-2001 security measures.

44
00:02:21,590 --> 00:02:24,760
You keep driving and nobody else
needs to know about this, understand?

45
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:27,240
The last thing we need is a panic.

46
00:02:28,850 --> 00:02:29,540
What's going on?

47
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:30,470
Are we out of gas?

48
00:02:30,470 --> 00:02:31,420
Yes!

49
00:02:31,420 --> 00:02:32,040
It's on empty!

50
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,330
It's on empty!

51
00:02:34,330 --> 00:02:36,270
Like, the needle is invisible.

52
00:02:36,270 --> 00:02:37,150
Oh, my God!

53
00:02:37,150 --> 00:02:38,150
There's no needle.

54
00:02:38,150 --> 00:02:40,330
It's gone. It's underneath the plastic or

55
00:02:40,330 --> 00:02:42,490
maybe the engine tried
to use it as the fuel.

56
00:02:42,490 --> 00:02:43,360
Oh, stop yelling.

57
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:44,670
Well, stop being out of gas.

58
00:02:44,670 --> 00:02:45,640
You're freaking me out.

59
00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:47,190
You should be freaking out.

60
00:02:47,190 --> 00:02:48,610
I have been driving for 25 years,

61
00:02:48,610 --> 00:02:53,110
and I have never seen
so little gas in my life.

62
00:02:53,110 --> 00:02:57,980
Aah! Stop, stop, I'm yelling
even louder so you have to stop.

63
00:02:57,980 --> 00:03:01,060
We're not in control of the gas, okay?

64
00:03:01,060 --> 00:03:03,629
We have to focus on what we can control.

65
00:03:03,629 --> 00:03:04,921
Is everyone's phone charged?

66
00:03:04,921 --> 00:03:06,390
Yes. Charge your phones.

67
00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:07,017
Good idea.

68
00:03:07,017 --> 00:03:08,433
Okay.

69
00:03:08,433 --> 00:03:10,790
Okay.

70
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:11,630
See?

71
00:03:11,630 --> 00:03:14,170
We turned panic into preparedness.

72
00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:18,930
Now if we do run out of gas, guess
who's got fully charged phones?

73
00:03:18,930 --> 00:03:19,692
Well charged.

74
00:03:19,692 --> 00:03:21,456
Full battery.

75
00:03:21,456 --> 00:03:24,777
For the love of God,
stop charging your phones!

76
00:03:24,777 --> 00:03:25,589
Aah!

77
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:40,045
Excuse me a moment.

78
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:40,587
What happened?

79
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:41,213
I'm not telling you!

80
00:03:41,213 --> 00:03:42,587
Fair enough.

81
00:03:42,587 --> 00:03:43,503
We're all gonna die!

82
00:04:16,295 --> 00:04:18,295
All in favor?

83
00:04:18,295 --> 00:04:20,462
And that solves the
matter of the giant hand.

84
00:04:20,462 --> 00:04:21,711
If there's no other business.

85
00:04:21,711 --> 00:04:22,295
Yes.

86
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:24,285
I'd like to move that we establish
this moment as the opening

87
00:04:24,285 --> 00:04:24,878
for a flashback.

88
00:04:24,878 --> 00:04:25,461
No.

89
00:04:25,461 --> 00:04:25,961
Meeting adjourned.

90
00:04:35,586 --> 00:04:37,795
Oh, I guess we'll not doing
the three weeks earlier thing.

91
00:04:37,795 --> 00:04:41,723
Abed insert dialogue here by you
dropping the fourth wall shtick.

92
00:04:41,723 --> 00:04:42,920
Nice. Careful you don't flood it.

93
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:46,150
That's the fifth time you've
reminded me not to flood something.

94
00:04:46,150 --> 00:04:48,350
I'm sorry but it doesn't
apply to our situation.

95
00:04:48,350 --> 00:04:49,370
I'm gonna check the battery.

96
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,337
Can you send someone or not?

97
00:04:52,337 --> 00:04:53,240
Can you please hold?

98
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:55,878
No, I can't hold.

99
00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:57,086
Darn it.

100
00:04:57,086 --> 00:05:01,650
When they put you on hold, you
hang up and you call right back.

101
00:05:01,650 --> 00:05:02,628
Frankie taught me that.

102
00:05:02,628 --> 00:05:04,370
Hi, it's me.

103
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:05,930
Yeah, the one you put on hold.

104
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,030
See where that got you?

105
00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:08,015
Can you send somebody or not?

106
00:05:08,015 --> 00:05:08,599
Please hold.

107
00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:10,348
Don't you dare.

108
00:05:10,348 --> 00:05:13,420
When they put you on hold,
hang up and call right back.

109
00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:15,470
I can play this game all day.

110
00:05:15,470 --> 00:05:18,683
I told you we need roadside service on
- Could you please hold?

111
00:05:18,683 --> 00:05:21,120
Oh, you can't be serious.

112
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,900
Well hello, guess who.

113
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:24,810
I got nothing but fingers and time, pal.

114
00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:27,022
Road side service, Moffett pass.

115
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:28,473
All right, all right.

116
00:05:28,473 --> 00:05:31,349
You, well, you could've
told me that an hour ago.

117
00:05:31,349 --> 00:05:31,999
RV is full of crazy ladies.

118
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:35,450
Your RV is full of crazy ladies, good bye.

119
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,900
Have any of you heard of Armed Forces Day?

120
00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:41,700
Because apparently it's today
and it's really boning us.

121
00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:44,806
Yep, here it is, Armed Forces Day, huh.

122
00:05:44,806 --> 00:05:47,020
Why would they put it in May?

123
00:05:47,020 --> 00:05:50,770
It's just sitting there in Memorial
Day's shadow like a military Hanukkah.

124
00:05:50,770 --> 00:05:53,390
Fitting that both war holidays
have to fight each other

125
00:05:53,390 --> 00:05:54,420
over the same month.

126
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,900
Notable that the one we remember
is the one with the theme of memory.

127
00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:59,930
Way to make this about justifying
your unmarketable sensibilities.

128
00:05:59,930 --> 00:06:05,010
Well, apparently Armed Forces Day
is the big one for tow truck drivers.

129
00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:08,040
Because there are three within
200 miles of this spot and

130
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,210
they're all in the same parade.

131
00:06:10,210 --> 00:06:15,320
Maybe it'll come by this way
if we offer them instruments?

132
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,810
Nobody reroutes parades.

133
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,410
They rerouted Kennedy's parade.

134
00:06:18,410 --> 00:06:21,100
So, we'll just call the CIA,
tell them we want to assassinate

135
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:23,740
the President, and we'll be home
in time for Wheel of Fortune.

136
00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:24,560
Who are we kidding?

137
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:25,780
That'll never work.

138
00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:29,110
We got Britta'd, yes, I use it too.

139
00:06:29,110 --> 00:06:32,250
I don't want anybody here
blaming themselves for this.

140
00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:33,575
I want everyone blaming Frankie.

141
00:06:33,575 --> 00:06:34,515
What?

142
00:06:34,515 --> 00:06:36,750
She is the reason we are here.

143
00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:40,640
This is what happens when you
make decisions outside the moment.

144
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,590
Whatever moment you were in the
day you got on the Internet and

145
00:06:43,590 --> 00:06:48,050
bought a gigantic hand, I am proud
to remain outside until I die.

146
00:06:48,050 --> 00:06:49,240
You will baby.

147
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,460
And this is where logic gets you,

148
00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:56,390
stuck in a Rocky Mountain pass at
sundown, gradually freezing to death.

149
00:06:56,390 --> 00:07:00,426
And forced to decide somewhere in
the backs of our heads, just in case,

150
00:07:00,426 --> 00:07:01,660
who we'd eat first.

151
00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:02,430
Annie, right?

152
00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:04,530
What? It's not a judgement,
it's about biology.

153
00:07:04,530 --> 00:07:05,050
What?

154
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:08,940
Craig, the hand currently
crushing our lives

155
00:07:08,940 --> 00:07:10,250
is not about being in the moment.

156
00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:12,899
You bought this thing we can't
return with money we don't have,

157
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:13,681
nobody knows why.

158
00:07:13,681 --> 00:07:17,389
And your latest idea is to put it
on the quad with a plaque that says

159
00:07:17,389 --> 00:07:18,910
give a hand to your brain.

160
00:07:18,910 --> 00:07:20,348
Give your brain a hand.

161
00:07:20,348 --> 00:07:22,600
You're making it sound stupid on purpose.

162
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,220
It's over Craig, you are
lucky to have Frankie.

163
00:07:25,220 --> 00:07:27,210
And you're lucky she was
able to find some weirdo,

164
00:07:27,210 --> 00:07:31,490
excuse me, bigger weirdo on
eBay willing to pay cash for it.

165
00:07:31,490 --> 00:07:33,450
This is a lot of narrative pipe.

166
00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:35,470
Maybe we did need a three
weeks earlier flashback.

167
00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:36,556
Abed. Is this a show?

168
00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:38,300
I thought you said you
knew it wasn't a TV show.

169
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:40,370
Season two you mean?

170
00:07:40,370 --> 00:07:41,130
I don't know.

171
00:07:41,130 --> 00:07:41,860
I can change my mind.

172
00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:44,660
Well can I ask that it not be a
show about you saying it's a show?

173
00:07:44,660 --> 00:07:45,160
Because dumb.

174
00:07:47,780 --> 00:07:48,730
You're dumb.

175
00:07:48,730 --> 00:07:49,680
Go in the back.

176
00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:51,350
Go in the back and sit by yourself.

177
00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:52,556
Jeff.

178
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:53,598
Give him a shot. What's wrong with you?

179
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,050
I'm sick of it.

180
00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:57,510
It's a show, it's not a show,
it's your show, it's my show,

181
00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:58,730
it's a good show, it's a bad show.

182
00:07:58,730 --> 00:08:00,200
I am sick of it.

183
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,310
I don't want to hear the word show again.

184
00:08:02,310 --> 00:08:05,350
Show, show, show, is a show, show, show.

185
00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:08,040
So now it's a show about this?

186
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,230
Oh, you're right, that's way worse.

187
00:08:09,230 --> 00:08:09,842
Abed, come back.

188
00:08:09,842 --> 00:08:10,530
Yes. Yay.

189
00:08:10,530 --> 00:08:11,540
Abed, come back. Yes, yes, yes.

190
00:08:11,540 --> 00:08:12,250
I'm not sorry.

191
00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:13,510
It's not good to be back.

192
00:08:13,510 --> 00:08:16,090
What the hell was that?

193
00:08:16,090 --> 00:08:17,810
The battery is dead.

194
00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:19,120
Flooded?

195
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,810
So help me God.

196
00:08:20,810 --> 00:08:24,793
The RV has two batteries, a primary, and a second
- Secondary.

197
00:08:27,101 --> 00:08:30,070
We overloaded the electrical system,
and killed the engine battery.

198
00:08:30,070 --> 00:08:32,290
So now, the secondary
battery has maybe three or

199
00:08:32,290 --> 00:08:35,130
four hours of juice
- Charge, juice, charge.

200
00:08:35,130 --> 00:08:38,280
Then we have a choice to make.

201
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:39,850
And Jeff can explain that choice.

202
00:08:39,850 --> 00:08:41,060
No, it's your RV.

203
00:08:41,060 --> 00:08:41,740
This was my show.

204
00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:43,280
You didn't give a damn about that.

205
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,918
Abed, we're all on your side, so if
you're also on your side, it's petty.

206
00:08:46,918 --> 00:08:50,060
We could wait for a couple of hours and

207
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:52,610
hope that the engine battery resets itself.

208
00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:54,930
If it doesn't, then we're
spending the night here, and

209
00:08:54,930 --> 00:08:57,660
at least we have the secondary battery
to keep us warm for a few hours.

210
00:08:57,660 --> 00:09:00,650
No, no, no, we're not spending the
night here, so what's the second option?

211
00:09:00,650 --> 00:09:03,910
Which I am nicknaming
little course of action.

212
00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:08,050
I rewire the secondary battery to
the engine and hope it can start it.

213
00:09:08,050 --> 00:09:11,470
If it doesn't we're spending a very
cold night with two dead batteries.

214
00:09:11,470 --> 00:09:13,130
Okay, let's switch the batteries then.

215
00:09:13,130 --> 00:09:13,910
Good democracy.

216
00:09:13,910 --> 00:09:16,670
Are we sure the secondary
battery won't just die too?

217
00:09:16,670 --> 00:09:17,980
Ha. It's a possibility.

218
00:09:17,980 --> 00:09:19,400
It exists.

219
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,480
But I'm pretty confident,

220
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:23,660
because the secondary
battery only powers the cabin.

221
00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:25,119
And we've kept the lights off and

222
00:09:25,119 --> 00:09:28,473
it goes without saying that we've all
learned to stop charging our phones.

223
00:09:33,808 --> 00:09:35,642
Why you all looking at
each other like that?

224
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:38,140
And where are each of your phones now?

225
00:09:43,141 --> 00:09:46,045
You know, I'm starting to
suspect the unthinkable.

226
00:09:46,045 --> 00:09:48,915
Namely, that in spite
of all we've experienced,

227
00:09:48,915 --> 00:09:53,186
there's a cartoonish vampiric orgy of
personal devices somewhere in the RV

228
00:09:53,186 --> 00:09:55,510
sucking away our remaining battery.

229
00:09:55,510 --> 00:10:00,236
I only draw limited comfort from the
fact that nobody's running to unplug

230
00:10:00,236 --> 00:10:01,003
anything.

231
00:10:01,003 --> 00:10:03,295
You know what?

232
00:10:03,295 --> 00:10:05,170
Say nothing.

233
00:10:05,170 --> 00:10:09,634
I'll just, turn the light
switch to the on position.

234
00:10:21,035 --> 00:10:25,762
There is a bright side to this.

235
00:10:25,762 --> 00:10:29,616
Most conventional weapons
don't require electricity.

236
00:10:29,616 --> 00:10:33,250
Are you going to eat me first?

237
00:10:41,653 --> 00:10:42,391
Hear those crickets?

238
00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:49,278
This would be a challenging place
to practice your stand-up act.

239
00:10:49,278 --> 00:10:51,345
So I rented Hotel Rwanda the other night.

240
00:10:51,345 --> 00:10:54,154
And let me just say, not a date movie.

241
00:10:57,382 --> 00:11:01,515
What would Arnold Schwarzenegger
sound like if he was bit by Dracula?

242
00:11:04,371 --> 00:11:06,205
All in favor?

243
00:11:06,205 --> 00:11:08,690
Then that solves the
matter of the giant hand.

244
00:11:08,690 --> 00:11:10,460
If there's no other business
- If we're doing this I'd

245
00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:12,940
like to restate importance of telling
some of this story with flashback.

246
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:14,650
What do you mean by restate?

247
00:11:14,650 --> 00:11:16,180
Oh my god, I fell for it.

248
00:11:16,180 --> 00:11:16,680
Meeting adjourned.

249
00:11:19,998 --> 00:11:21,496
Why do we call them elbows?

250
00:11:21,496 --> 00:11:23,338
Why not arm knees?

251
00:11:23,988 --> 00:11:26,825
Man, I am dying up here.

252
00:11:28,264 --> 00:11:32,896
I'm scaling the blanket rations
inversely to the wattage of each person's

253
00:11:32,896 --> 00:11:33,580
phone.

254
00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:36,829
That way the person who killed
us the most will die the soonest,

255
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:37,821
which feels fair.

256
00:11:37,821 --> 00:11:39,810
Right, Britta?

257
00:11:39,810 --> 00:11:45,774
I can't go all night being this angry.

258
00:11:45,774 --> 00:11:50,772
Heart attacks run in my family
and you people aren't worth it.

259
00:11:50,772 --> 00:11:52,983
I'm sorry.

260
00:11:52,983 --> 00:11:53,878
It's okay.

261
00:11:53,878 --> 00:11:57,819
I caused the situation by
not topping off the tank, and

262
00:11:57,819 --> 00:12:02,470
that vinyl accordion partition
is a totem of distrust.

263
00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:03,755
Sorry for that, too.

264
00:12:03,755 --> 00:12:05,647
Elroy, that's big of you.

265
00:12:05,647 --> 00:12:08,839
And for our part, we're sorry
that charging our perfectly normal

266
00:12:08,839 --> 00:12:11,184
cell phones destroyed
your weirdly fragile RV.

267
00:12:11,184 --> 00:12:15,020
Okay, I'm sorry about that apology.

268
00:12:15,020 --> 00:12:16,347
I'll try to be a better house guest.

269
00:12:17,630 --> 00:12:19,685
Oh, no.

270
00:12:19,685 --> 00:12:21,171
Sorry I've been unavailable,

271
00:12:21,171 --> 00:12:23,434
I've been trying to cut
to three weeks earlier.

272
00:12:23,434 --> 00:12:25,540
Really feels like we needed that.

273
00:12:25,540 --> 00:12:27,930
I have something to apologize for as well.

274
00:12:27,930 --> 00:12:30,966
Perhaps you recall earlier when it
seemed as though we drove through

275
00:12:30,966 --> 00:12:31,667
a skunk patch.

276
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:32,551
Yeah, you were getting high.

277
00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:33,474
Yeah, you were smoking pot.

278
00:12:33,474 --> 00:12:34,554
Yeah, getting high.

279
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:35,423
You were getting stoned.

280
00:12:35,423 --> 00:12:38,983
Oh, okay, I remember thinking
I really pulled that one off.

281
00:12:38,983 --> 00:12:40,970
You thought that because you were high.

282
00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:44,633
You also thought that we were speeding
cuz you kept seeing the same bird.

283
00:12:51,162 --> 00:12:51,760
All in favor?

284
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:55,170
Then that solves the
matter of the giant hand.

285
00:12:55,170 --> 00:12:57,410
If there's no other business
- Let me just explain the need for

286
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,910
flashback here and don't interrupt
- Okay, one quick thing and

287
00:12:59,910 --> 00:13:01,338
then you can talk about flashbacks forever.

288
00:13:01,338 --> 00:13:03,318
Meeting adjourned.

289
00:13:03,318 --> 00:13:04,330
Abed?

290
00:13:04,330 --> 00:13:05,630
When they cut to three weeks earlier on TV,

291
00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:08,210
they're not traveling in time, dip ass.

292
00:13:08,210 --> 00:13:09,120
Jeff.

293
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,479
Okay, my apology now.

294
00:13:10,479 --> 00:13:13,968
I've had some time to think about it,
and I've decided, I'm sorry for not

295
00:13:13,968 --> 00:13:17,365
asking people what they wanted before
buying all the snacks for the trip.

296
00:13:17,365 --> 00:13:18,525
Wow, really?

297
00:13:18,525 --> 00:13:19,216
That's great.

298
00:13:19,216 --> 00:13:19,941
What?

299
00:13:19,941 --> 00:13:22,310
Think about it, it's the worst
thing I've done on this trip.

300
00:13:22,310 --> 00:13:24,005
I've been nailing it.

301
00:13:24,005 --> 00:13:25,219
She has.

302
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,490
You have, I haven't been.

303
00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:32,290
I shouldn't be yelling at the
dean in front of any of you,

304
00:13:32,290 --> 00:13:33,864
it's unprofessional.

305
00:13:33,864 --> 00:13:34,910
You're all right Frankie.

306
00:13:34,910 --> 00:13:35,556
We got no complaints.

307
00:13:45,691 --> 00:13:48,001
I forgive all of you.

308
00:13:55,022 --> 00:13:55,522
What?

309
00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:59,068
Then that solves the
matter of the giant hand.

310
00:13:59,068 --> 00:14:01,730
If there's no other business
- In a normal road trip story the first act

311
00:14:01,730 --> 00:14:03,050
would end with us
deciding to go on the trip.

312
00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:04,790
The second act would be the
trip ending with a disaster, and

313
00:14:04,790 --> 00:14:05,960
the third act would be us getting back.

314
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,284
The problem is that we've already
decided to take this trip weeks from now,

315
00:14:08,284 --> 00:14:10,027
which means the story starts
with us already on the road,

316
00:14:10,027 --> 00:14:11,841
which means the end of act one
won't be us going on the trip,

317
00:14:11,841 --> 00:14:12,847
it'll have to be the disaster.

318
00:14:12,847 --> 00:14:14,943
Which means something even
worse has to happen in act two.

319
00:14:14,943 --> 00:14:17,766
Unless we make the decision, right
now, that act one is a flashback, so

320
00:14:17,766 --> 00:14:19,682
that the beginning story
is now instead of then.

321
00:14:27,864 --> 00:14:28,966
You forgive us?

322
00:14:28,966 --> 00:14:31,130
Absolutely.

323
00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:33,090
You turd!

324
00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:34,149
I beg your pardon.

325
00:14:34,149 --> 00:14:34,678
Guys?

326
00:14:34,678 --> 00:14:36,018
You have no sense of accountability.

327
00:14:36,018 --> 00:14:37,110
You're like a child.

328
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:39,880
If I'm a child, you're a child abuser.

329
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,090
No, not cool, Annie.

330
00:14:41,090 --> 00:14:45,300
You never just said, leave my
hand where it is, I like it there.

331
00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:46,770
I demand it stay.

332
00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:48,280
Because everyone complained about it.

333
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,370
Well, where's that commitment to
spinelessness when we're all admitting we

334
00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:52,060
did stuff wrong?

335
00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:53,160
Okay, I'm sorry.

336
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:53,753
I'm sorry.

337
00:14:53,753 --> 00:14:55,260
I'm a bad dean, okay?

338
00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:56,211
No, that's what you always do.

339
00:14:56,211 --> 00:14:57,352
That's not a real apology.

340
00:14:57,352 --> 00:14:58,470
Jeff? Abed, shut up.

341
00:14:58,470 --> 00:15:00,503
Go flashback and cut to stuff.

342
00:15:00,503 --> 00:15:03,527
And you, say you're sorry for buying
a giant hand and letting it sit around

343
00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:05,795
until we had to deal with
it, and say it without crying.

344
00:15:05,795 --> 00:15:06,420
No!

345
00:15:06,420 --> 00:15:07,305
I'm an adult.

346
00:15:07,305 --> 00:15:09,961
And you can't make me not cry.

347
00:15:09,961 --> 00:15:13,510
You're all a bunch of bullies, and I
will say, I'm sorry, however I want.

348
00:15:13,510 --> 00:15:16,370
And by the way, I'm not sorry!

349
00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:19,620
It's my giant hand and I love it.

350
00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:20,120
We're not selling it.

351
00:15:21,895 --> 00:15:23,369
Okay, this is like crate training a puppy.

352
00:15:23,369 --> 00:15:26,286
Everyone suppress every instinct
you have to let him out and

353
00:15:26,286 --> 00:15:27,344
sleep in bed with us.

354
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,610
Cold.

355
00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:30,949
No, I mean, it's cold in the RV.

356
00:15:30,949 --> 00:15:32,231
I don't care how we treat the dean tonight.

357
00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:36,173
Abed, don't go out.

358
00:15:45,159 --> 00:15:46,836
Did they send you out
here to be mean to me too?

359
00:15:46,836 --> 00:15:50,650
No.

360
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:51,241
Good.

361
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:53,935
Because I can't cry anymore unless
someone brings me a Pedialyte.

362
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,027
Here.

363
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:18,524
Pretty comforting, huh?

364
00:16:18,524 --> 00:16:22,008
We could've put it outside the
Art Department, or Biology, or

365
00:16:22,008 --> 00:16:24,640
wood working if we
remove one of the fingers.

366
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:25,450
You don't belong up here.

367
00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:27,510
It's not right that you're up here.

368
00:16:27,510 --> 00:16:28,720
You get it, don't you, Abed?

369
00:16:30,230 --> 00:16:31,640
You know what's important about the hand?

370
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,380
No, I know what's important
about the story, and

371
00:16:33,380 --> 00:16:35,120
I know we're structurally
overdue for a disaster.

372
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:35,620
Oh, great.

373
00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:40,837
Figures the one person on my side,
is the one playing people chess.

374
00:16:40,837 --> 00:16:43,696
Aah! Don't move, don't move!

375
00:16:43,696 --> 00:16:45,280
What the hell else are we supposed to do?

376
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:46,500
Flashback with me.

377
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:47,220
What? Just trust me.

378
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:48,740
I set a flashback three weeks earlier.

379
00:16:48,740 --> 00:16:50,180
It's how this story begins.

380
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:50,781
Close your eyes and concentrate.

381
00:16:53,283 --> 00:16:58,281
And that solves the
matter of the giant hand.

382
00:16:58,281 --> 00:16:59,810
If there's no other business.

383
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:00,590
Oh, there's business.

384
00:17:00,590 --> 00:17:01,670
Yeah, there's business.

385
00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:04,960
When you tie the hand to the roof
we'd like you to use extra thick straps

386
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:05,500
please.

387
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:06,580
Extra thick.

388
00:17:06,580 --> 00:17:07,550
Extra thick straps!

389
00:17:07,550 --> 00:17:08,280
Reinforced.

390
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,337
All right. Meeting adjourned, great.

391
00:17:12,105 --> 00:17:14,340
Extra thick straps!

392
00:17:14,340 --> 00:17:16,250
Extra think straps.

393
00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:18,190
Extra thick straps.

394
00:17:18,190 --> 00:17:19,039
Extra thick straps.

395
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,513
There, that should do it.

396
00:17:20,513 --> 00:17:21,883
Wha, wha, what should do it?

397
00:17:21,883 --> 00:17:23,068
We made the straps extra thick.

398
00:17:23,068 --> 00:17:25,286
Remember? No, I don't remember
because it didn't happen.

399
00:17:25,286 --> 00:17:26,266
It didn't?

400
00:17:26,266 --> 00:17:29,232
Aah!

401
00:17:29,232 --> 00:17:30,229
What?

402
00:17:30,229 --> 00:17:33,423
Did something just fall off the roof?

403
00:17:33,423 --> 00:17:35,571
That's a really stupid question, Annie.

404
00:17:35,571 --> 00:17:37,530
Obviously something fell off the roof.

405
00:17:37,530 --> 00:17:39,003
The question is what?

406
00:17:46,990 --> 00:17:48,117
Abed, where's the dean?

407
00:17:48,117 --> 00:17:51,210
Oh, damn, come on.

408
00:17:53,196 --> 00:17:55,860
Okay, one, two, three.

409
00:17:55,860 --> 00:17:56,890
Carefully, carefully.

410
00:17:56,890 --> 00:18:00,670
How do you lose a hand
off a person haphazardly?

411
00:18:00,670 --> 00:18:02,395
You know what, Annie
- Aah!

412
00:18:02,395 --> 00:18:03,372
Dean, hang on.

413
00:18:03,372 --> 00:18:05,091
Dean, we're so sorry, we love you.

414
00:18:06,658 --> 00:18:09,410
Screw you!

415
00:18:09,410 --> 00:18:10,059
Aah!

416
00:18:10,059 --> 00:18:11,127
What?

417
00:18:11,127 --> 00:18:11,737
Hey, that's my house.

418
00:18:11,737 --> 00:18:14,400
We are not sorry, we hate you!

419
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:15,950
Are we gonna freeze to death?

420
00:18:15,950 --> 00:18:16,650
I call the hand.

421
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,150
The fiberglass will preserve body heat.

422
00:18:21,150 --> 00:18:26,169
What's wrong with me if that's hot?

423
00:18:30,551 --> 00:18:33,817
Dean these temperatures are lowering
our immune systems in a world that is

424
00:18:33,817 --> 00:18:36,358
swarming with weird people's
unvaccinated toddlers.

425
00:18:36,358 --> 00:18:38,658
Deal with it.

426
00:18:38,658 --> 00:18:41,740
I'm gonna go run to the other side
and see if he's locked that door too.

427
00:18:41,740 --> 00:18:44,630
It probably undercuts my goals
to announce it out loud but

428
00:18:44,630 --> 00:18:47,590
I'm a verbal thinker, I'm not even
sure I have an idea until I say it.

429
00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:53,009
They should make hiking boots
with a compass in the toe.

430
00:18:53,009 --> 00:18:54,448
Go!

431
00:18:54,448 --> 00:18:55,708
But don't you.

432
00:18:55,708 --> 00:18:58,865
Dean, we're sorry and we love you?

433
00:18:58,865 --> 00:19:02,500
Nice uncontrollable question mark, Britta!

434
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,110
You can't even fake it!

435
00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:06,990
Dean, we're sorry and we love you.

436
00:19:06,990 --> 00:19:11,060
Super realistic, Annie,
you're a real sociopath.

437
00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:14,080
I saw all your true colors
when the chips were down.

438
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,810
Abed is the only human among you!

439
00:19:15,810 --> 00:19:18,620
And I think we all know how
ironic that is, no offense, Abed.

440
00:19:18,620 --> 00:19:19,670
None possible.

441
00:19:19,670 --> 00:19:22,300
Abed, you bonded with him.

442
00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:23,240
Talk to him.

443
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,330
You're alone in the end zone.

444
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:26,570
This ball is yours or nobody's.

445
00:19:26,570 --> 00:19:29,620
I appreciate your appeal to my
well know passion for athletics, and

446
00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:31,400
sarcasm, but I didn't
actually bond with him.

447
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:32,340
I almost killed him.

448
00:19:32,340 --> 00:19:35,270
My naive obsession with contrived
flashback technique has kept me

449
00:19:35,270 --> 00:19:37,070
from being invested in
any of this actual story.

450
00:19:37,070 --> 00:19:38,800
I mean, what was it even?

451
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,097
A bunch of people in an RV? And
I had to Christopher Nolan it?

452
00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:42,136
Well, there you go.

453
00:19:42,136 --> 00:19:46,350
Now you can forget all about stupid
three weeks earlier flashbacks and

454
00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:49,208
be a hero by joining us
here, in the moment, and

455
00:19:49,208 --> 00:19:51,222
talking to the dean like a human.

456
00:19:51,222 --> 00:19:53,030
That's my arc.

457
00:19:53,030 --> 00:19:55,545
That's your arc.

458
00:19:55,545 --> 00:19:59,211
Okay, here we go.

459
00:20:00,378 --> 00:20:01,550
If there's no other business.

460
00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:04,045
I'd like to propose a heavy use
of flashback in this episode.

461
00:20:04,045 --> 00:20:05,040
No Abed, don't do it.

462
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:05,720
Thanks Abed.

463
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:07,820
Stop that.

464
00:20:07,820 --> 00:20:08,800
Get your head our of your ass.

465
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,080
I don't know how. I'm
over saturated with it.

466
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,410
Give me, I, I, I don't know what's real.

467
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:12,200
You are lying.

468
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,160
You have to be lying.

469
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,360
You enjoy this.

470
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:14,960
Stop this.

471
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,410
What has gotten into you?

472
00:20:16,410 --> 00:20:17,882
Why are you shocked that he's alienated?

473
00:20:17,882 --> 00:20:20,259
You get him to do something
normal without abusing him.

474
00:20:20,259 --> 00:20:21,864
Abed, listen.

475
00:20:21,864 --> 00:20:23,977
This is a flashback remember.

476
00:20:23,977 --> 00:20:26,578
The real story is happening in the future.

477
00:20:26,578 --> 00:20:30,033
You actually flashed
back to now to help us.

478
00:20:30,033 --> 00:20:32,246
Okay, that was pretty good.

479
00:20:38,199 --> 00:20:41,210
So sad what happened here,
all those centons ago.

480
00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:43,720
So sad.

481
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:44,580
So preventable.

482
00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:47,360
Space Elder Abed, can you reach
backward with your mind and

483
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,050
save our species?

484
00:20:49,050 --> 00:20:51,935
I can. I'm Space Elder Britta.

485
00:20:58,599 --> 00:20:59,900
What are you guys talkin about?

486
00:21:08,230 --> 00:21:08,900
I'm here now, child.

487
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:10,780
All will be made right.

488
00:21:13,810 --> 00:21:14,770
Dean.

489
00:21:14,770 --> 00:21:15,510
Abed.

490
00:21:15,510 --> 00:21:17,420
I have discovered the
meaning of the giant hand.

491
00:21:19,140 --> 00:21:21,289
A hand has two functions,
to grip and to release.

492
00:21:22,610 --> 00:21:24,940
But without both of these
powers, it is useless.

493
00:21:26,230 --> 00:21:30,350
Like newborn infants, we grab what
comes near us, hoping to control it,

494
00:21:30,350 --> 00:21:32,660
taste it, jam it into another child's eye.

495
00:21:32,660 --> 00:21:36,420
But, the time we spend
in control of our world,

496
00:21:37,970 --> 00:21:40,650
is the time we spend letting go of others.

497
00:21:40,650 --> 00:21:44,840
Ideas, stories, pride, girls
in soft sweaters, video games,

498
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:48,100
buttered noodles, grip one
for too long and you lose so

499
00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:53,630
much that you've never held.

500
00:21:53,630 --> 00:21:57,480
This giant hand, was sent to
all of us as an invitation.

501
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,540
To increase our mastery
over the power to hold on.

502
00:22:02,070 --> 00:22:02,570
And let go.

503
00:22:08,891 --> 00:22:11,938
Sorry.

504
00:22:15,488 --> 00:22:16,575
Dummy.

505
00:22:16,575 --> 00:22:17,286
I kinda hate you.

506
00:22:28,745 --> 00:22:30,470
The doors are locked on that side, too.

507
00:22:32,130 --> 00:22:32,701
Took you long enough.

508
00:22:32,701 --> 00:22:35,282
I'd be lying if I said I didn't poop.

509
00:22:35,282 --> 00:22:38,419
Could you lie then?

510
00:22:38,419 --> 00:22:40,300
Sure I can.

511
00:22:40,300 --> 00:22:41,345
Sure I can.

512
00:22:44,689 --> 00:22:45,432
I slapped a man.

513
00:23:13,814 --> 00:23:19,317
Hi, this is Blake, the gentleman to
whom you're selling the giant hand.

514
00:23:19,317 --> 00:23:22,727
I am calling to confirm that
you have the correct address?

515
00:23:23,997 --> 00:23:27,457
We live at the end of a long
driveway which often gets

516
00:23:27,457 --> 00:23:30,460
confused with a road.

517
00:23:30,460 --> 00:23:35,280
Anyway, it's been many hours since
our scheduled appointment time.

518
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:39,856
Again, it's Blake with a B,
the purchaser of the giant hand.

519
00:23:39,856 --> 00:23:41,643
Bye.

520
00:23:44,458 --> 00:23:50,651
They're not

521
00:23:50,651 --> 00:24:00,226
coming, are they?

522
00:24:00,226 --> 00:24:01,037
I don't know, Karen.

523
00:24:01,037 --> 00:24:01,830
I left a message.

524
00:24:01,830 --> 00:24:04,130
What are you gonna do with?

525
00:24:04,130 --> 00:24:06,930
What am I gonna do with the giant watch?

526
00:24:06,930 --> 00:24:07,850
I don't know.

527
00:24:07,850 --> 00:24:09,990
I, I don't plan for failure.

528
00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:11,370
Have you tried planning for success?

529
00:24:11,370 --> 00:24:14,190
Does everything you do to this family have.

530
00:24:15,770 --> 00:24:16,830
No.

531
00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:18,390
Finish your thought.

532
00:24:18,390 --> 00:24:19,600
Finish your thought.

533
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,610
Does everything have to do with me,

534
00:24:22,610 --> 00:24:25,760
purchasing oversize items on the Internet.

535
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,710
But, that's not what this
is really about, is it?

536
00:24:27,710 --> 00:24:30,250
It's not about a giant
hand, or a giant watch.

537
00:24:30,250 --> 00:24:31,080
Please don't.

538
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,850
It's about a normal sized son.

539
00:24:34,850 --> 00:24:41,362
Who disappeared and it's all my
fault, because I gave him a giant kite!

540
00:24:42,378 --> 00:24:46,600
Yes, how could you not
make that connection?

541
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:50,900
Why do you continue to buy giant
size versions of everyday objects,

542
00:24:50,900 --> 00:24:54,420
when they are the reason our son is
- Disappeared!

543
00:24:54,420 --> 00:24:55,410
Disappeared.

544
00:24:55,410 --> 00:24:57,440
They never found his body on the ground,

545
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,340
which proves he's still up there waiting.

546
00:24:59,340 --> 00:25:03,556
He's waiting for a better
daddy, with a bigger hand.

547
00:25:07,416 --> 00:25:11,257
Oh, really?

548
00:25:11,257 --> 00:25:14,486
So then why the watch?

549
00:25:14,486 --> 00:25:16,641
I thought it would look really cool.

550
00:25:16,641 --> 00:25:21,253
I'm gonna walk the dog,
and eventually leave you.

551
00:25:21,253 --> 00:25:25,536
I'll put the watch in the garage.

552
00:25:25,536 --> 00:25:28,586
And probably stop showering.

553
00:25:28,587 --> 00:25:31,587
sync and corrections by Caio
www.addic7ed.com