1
00:00:12,699 --> 00:00:14,199
Three weeks earlier.

2
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:19,409
You know how sometimes a movie
or a show begins on a random,

3
00:00:19,534 --> 00:00:22,145
intriguing scene with no context given,
encouraging you to wonder,

4
00:00:22,270 --> 00:00:24,041
"whoa, how'd this crazy
scenario come to be?"

5
00:00:24,166 --> 00:00:25,844
And then it cuts to black
and a title comes up

6
00:00:25,969 --> 00:00:27,463
and says "three weeks earlier".

7
00:00:27,588 --> 00:00:29,029
- Huh.
- Here we are.

8
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:31,018
Sitting in silence,
crammed into an RV.

9
00:00:31,143 --> 00:00:34,026
Winding through the mountain roads
of Colorado with a 19 foot fiberglass

10
00:00:34,151 --> 00:00:35,619
hand tied to the roof.

11
00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:40,658
If there was ever a time to cut to
three weeks earlier it'd be right now.

12
00:00:43,157 --> 00:00:44,377
Know what I mean?

13
00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:55,011
Elroy, you got any booze?

14
00:00:56,102 --> 00:00:58,454
Don't go through my stuff!
This isn't a bus.

15
00:00:58,579 --> 00:01:00,396
You're standing in my living room,
kitchen, and bedroom.

16
00:01:00,521 --> 00:01:01,812
I never thought about that.

17
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:06,274
And your backyard is
24,900 miles long,

18
00:01:06,547 --> 00:01:09,770
because it's the
circumference of the Earth.

19
00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:12,623
Because you have no home.

20
00:01:12,748 --> 00:01:14,617
Did anyone need water?
What else should we talk about?

21
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,334
I guess to make it really intriguing,

22
00:01:16,459 --> 00:01:18,967
one of us should be visibly injured in a
way that makes you wonder how it happened.

23
00:01:19,092 --> 00:01:20,764
Like if Britta had a black eye.

24
00:01:22,197 --> 00:01:24,459
Dean, can I speak to you privately?

25
00:01:24,824 --> 00:01:26,853
I'm pretty sure the answer is no.

26
00:01:26,978 --> 00:01:27,963
Coming up.

27
00:01:33,826 --> 00:01:37,388
You know, when I agreed to hold
this thing for you and the school,

28
00:01:37,513 --> 00:01:39,969
you didn't say anything about
six people sitting back there.

29
00:01:40,094 --> 00:01:42,061
Man, I wonder what
they're talking about.

30
00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,447
God!
Who knows?

31
00:01:43,572 --> 00:01:46,954
They're sealed off behind
this soundproof vinyl.

32
00:01:47,079 --> 00:01:49,484
I will drive my house off a cliff.

33
00:01:49,650 --> 00:01:51,653
Elroy, we're not here
to snoop or judge you.

34
00:01:51,819 --> 00:01:55,769
You're not the first person to
have dirty dishes, CD rom porn

35
00:01:55,894 --> 00:02:00,245
and framed photos of yourself with
two biracial teenagers in a park.

36
00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:01,611
It's not that.

37
00:02:02,226 --> 00:02:03,588
All of this weight.

38
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:08,054
I may have miscalculated the mileage.

39
00:02:11,314 --> 00:02:13,550
Darn it, I wanna hijack this RV,

40
00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:17,228
but I'm foiled by its impenetrable
post-2001 security measures.

41
00:02:17,353 --> 00:02:21,019
You keep driving and nobody else
needs to know about this, understand?

42
00:02:21,144 --> 00:02:23,310
The last thing we need is a panic.

43
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,229
What's going on?
Are we out of gas?

44
00:02:26,395 --> 00:02:28,122
Yes!
It's on empty!

45
00:02:28,247 --> 00:02:29,316
It's on empty!

46
00:02:30,055 --> 00:02:32,110
Like, the needle is invisible.

47
00:02:32,276 --> 00:02:34,032
- Oh, my God!
- There's no needle.

48
00:02:34,157 --> 00:02:35,001
It's gone.

49
00:02:35,126 --> 00:02:37,005
It's underneath the plastic
or maybe the engine

50
00:02:37,130 --> 00:02:38,366
tried to use it as the fuel.

51
00:02:38,532 --> 00:02:40,619
- Oh, stop yelling.
- Well, stop being out of gas.

52
00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:42,897
- You're freaking me out.
- You should be freaking out.

53
00:02:43,022 --> 00:02:44,514
I have been driving for 25 years,

54
00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:48,418
and I have never seen
so little gas in my life.

55
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:53,340
Stop, stop, I'm yelling
even louder so you have to stop.

56
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:56,312
We're not in control
of the gas, okay?

57
00:02:56,791 --> 00:02:59,304
We have to focus on
what we can control.

58
00:02:59,724 --> 00:03:01,306
Is everyone's phone charged?

59
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,183
- Yes. Charge your phones.
- Good idea.

60
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,350
Okay.

61
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:05,316
Okay.

62
00:03:05,441 --> 00:03:06,328
Okay.

63
00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:07,534
See?

64
00:03:07,659 --> 00:03:09,439
We turned panic into preparedness.

65
00:03:09,945 --> 00:03:14,402
Now if we do run out of gas, guess
who's got fully charged phones?

66
00:03:14,568 --> 00:03:15,612
Well charged.

67
00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:17,214
Full battery.

68
00:03:17,339 --> 00:03:19,407
For the love of God,
stop charging your phones!

69
00:03:32,193 --> 00:03:33,643
Excuse me a moment.

70
00:03:35,923 --> 00:03:37,500
- What happened?
- I'm not telling you!

71
00:03:37,625 --> 00:03:39,847
Fair enough.
We're all gonna die!

72
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,979
Resync for WEB-DL by Kyros
www.addic7ed.com

73
00:04:12,521 --> 00:04:13,671
All in favor?

74
00:04:14,378 --> 00:04:16,715
And that solves the matter
of the giant hand.

75
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:18,498
- If there's no other business.
- Yes.

76
00:04:18,623 --> 00:04:20,189
I'd like to move that we establish
this moment as the opening

77
00:04:20,314 --> 00:04:21,219
for a flashback.

78
00:04:21,385 --> 00:04:22,679
No.
Meeting adjourned.

79
00:04:31,768 --> 00:04:34,139
Oh, I guess we're not doing
the three weeks earlier thing.

80
00:04:34,523 --> 00:04:37,360
Abed, insert dialogue here by you
dropping the fourth wall shtick.

81
00:04:37,526 --> 00:04:39,617
- Nice.
- Careful you don't flood it.

82
00:04:39,742 --> 00:04:41,907
That's the fifth time you've
reminded me not to flood something.

83
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:44,034
I'm sorry but it doesn't
apply to our situation.

84
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,109
I'm gonna check the battery.

85
00:04:46,234 --> 00:04:48,354
Can you send someone or not?

86
00:04:48,479 --> 00:04:50,916
- Can you please hold?
- No, I can't hold.

87
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:52,990
Darn it.

88
00:04:53,115 --> 00:04:57,132
When they put you on hold, you
hang up and you call right back.

89
00:04:57,470 --> 00:04:58,632
Frankie taught me that.

90
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,274
Hi, it's me.

91
00:05:00,399 --> 00:05:01,947
Yeah, the one you put on hold.

92
00:05:02,072 --> 00:05:04,195
See where that got you?
Can you send somebody or not?

93
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,597
- Please hold.
- Don't you dare.

94
00:05:06,496 --> 00:05:09,434
When they put you on hold,
hang up and call right back.

95
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,561
I can play this game all day.

96
00:05:11,727 --> 00:05:14,216
I told you
we need roadside service on...

97
00:05:14,341 --> 00:05:16,399
- Could you please hold?
- Oh, you can't be serious.

98
00:05:16,565 --> 00:05:18,677
Well hello, guess who.

99
00:05:18,802 --> 00:05:20,714
I got nothing but fingers
and time, pal.

100
00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:22,906
Road side service, Moffett pass.

101
00:05:23,408 --> 00:05:24,586
All right, all right.

102
00:05:24,711 --> 00:05:26,649
You, well, you could've
told me that an hour ago.

103
00:05:26,774 --> 00:05:28,245
RV is full of crazy ladies.

104
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,289
Your RV is full of crazy ladies,
good bye.

105
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,804
Have any of you heard
of Armed Forces Day?

106
00:05:34,929 --> 00:05:37,504
Because apparently it's today
and it's really boning us.

107
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:40,710
Yep, here it is,
Armed Forces Day, huh.

108
00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:42,924
Why would they put it in May?

109
00:05:43,049 --> 00:05:46,596
It's just sitting there in Memorial
Day's shadow like a military Hanukkah.

110
00:05:46,762 --> 00:05:49,170
Fitting that both war holidays
have to fight each other

111
00:05:49,295 --> 00:05:50,392
over the same month.

112
00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:53,144
Notable that the one we remember
is the one with the theme of memory.

113
00:05:53,310 --> 00:05:55,772
Way to make this about justifying
your unmarketable sensibilities.

114
00:05:55,938 --> 00:06:00,914
Well, apparently Armed Forces Day
is the big one for tow truck drivers.

115
00:06:01,039 --> 00:06:03,773
Because there are three within
200 miles of this spot

116
00:06:03,898 --> 00:06:05,532
and they're all in the same parade.

117
00:06:05,987 --> 00:06:10,404
Maybe it'll come by this way
if we offer them instruments?

118
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,789
Nobody reroutes parades.

119
00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:14,666
They rerouted Kennedy's parade.

120
00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:17,117
So, we'll just call the CIA,
tell them we want to assassinate

121
00:06:17,242 --> 00:06:19,296
the President, and we'll be home
in time for Wheel of Fortune.

122
00:06:19,639 --> 00:06:21,548
Who are we kidding?
That'll never work.

123
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,794
We got Britta'd, yes, I use it too.

124
00:06:24,919 --> 00:06:27,990
I don't want anybody here
blaming themselves for this.

125
00:06:28,115 --> 00:06:29,592
I want everyone blaming Frankie.

126
00:06:29,717 --> 00:06:30,626
What?

127
00:06:30,751 --> 00:06:32,559
She is the reason we are here.

128
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,521
This is what happens when you
make decisions outside the moment.

129
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:39,494
Whatever moment you were in the
day you got on the Internet

130
00:06:39,619 --> 00:06:43,903
and bought a gigantic hand, I am proud
to remain outside until I die.

131
00:06:44,069 --> 00:06:45,144
You will baby.

132
00:06:45,269 --> 00:06:48,093
And this is where logic gets you,

133
00:06:48,218 --> 00:06:50,747
stuck in a Rocky Mountain
pass at sundown,

134
00:06:50,872 --> 00:06:52,522
gradually freezing to death.

135
00:06:52,647 --> 00:06:55,365
And forced to decide somewhere in
the backs of our heads,

136
00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:57,445
just in case, who we'd eat first.

137
00:06:57,570 --> 00:06:58,752
- Annie, right?
- What?

138
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,962
- Not a judgement, it's about biology.
- What?

139
00:07:01,128 --> 00:07:02,129
Craig...

140
00:07:02,527 --> 00:07:05,925
the hand currently crushing our lives
is not about being in the moment.

141
00:07:06,091 --> 00:07:07,927
You bought this thing we can't return

142
00:07:08,093 --> 00:07:09,721
with money we don't have,
nobody knows why.

143
00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:13,293
And your latest idea is to put it
on the quad with a plaque that says

144
00:07:13,418 --> 00:07:14,893
"give a hand to your brain."

145
00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:16,528
"Give your brain a hand."

146
00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:18,504
You're making it sound
stupid on purpose.

147
00:07:18,629 --> 00:07:21,124
It's over Craig, you are
lucky to have Frankie.

148
00:07:21,249 --> 00:07:23,299
And you're lucky she was
able to find some weirdo,

149
00:07:23,424 --> 00:07:27,614
excuse me, bigger weirdo on
eBay willing to pay cash for it.

150
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,354
This is a lot of narrative pipe.

151
00:07:29,479 --> 00:07:31,576
Maybe we did need a three
weeks earlier flashback.

152
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:32,779
Is this a show?

153
00:07:32,904 --> 00:07:34,842
I thought you said you
knew it wasn't a TV show.

154
00:07:35,381 --> 00:07:37,764
Season two you mean?
I don't know. I can change my mind.

155
00:07:37,889 --> 00:07:40,537
Well can I ask that it not be a
show about you saying it's a show?

156
00:07:40,662 --> 00:07:41,544
Because dumb.

157
00:07:43,748 --> 00:07:45,256
- You're dumb.
- Go in the back.

158
00:07:45,422 --> 00:07:46,841
Go in the back and sit by yourself.

159
00:07:47,937 --> 00:07:49,707
- Give him a shot.
- What's wrong with you?

160
00:07:49,832 --> 00:07:50,954
I'm sick of it.

161
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:53,320
It's a show, it's not a show,
it's your show, it's my show,

162
00:07:53,445 --> 00:07:54,671
it's a good show, it's a bad show.

163
00:07:54,796 --> 00:07:55,964
I am sick of it.

164
00:07:56,089 --> 00:07:58,214
I don't want to hear
the word show again.

165
00:07:58,339 --> 00:08:01,022
Show, show, show,
is a show, show, show.

166
00:08:01,379 --> 00:08:03,400
So now it's a show about this?

167
00:08:03,931 --> 00:08:05,819
Oh, you're right, that's way worse.
Abed, come back.

168
00:08:06,116 --> 00:08:07,303
Abed, come back.

169
00:08:07,428 --> 00:08:09,280
- I'm not sorry.
- It's not good to be back.

170
00:08:09,446 --> 00:08:11,491
What the hell was that?

171
00:08:12,029 --> 00:08:13,303
The battery is dead.

172
00:08:13,717 --> 00:08:14,718
Flooded?

173
00:08:14,843 --> 00:08:16,454
So help me God.

174
00:08:16,750 --> 00:08:19,348
The RV has two batteries,
a primary, and a sec...

175
00:08:19,473 --> 00:08:20,474
Secondary.

176
00:08:23,304 --> 00:08:25,839
We overloaded the electrical system,
and killed the engine battery.

177
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,882
So now, the secondary
battery has maybe three

178
00:08:28,048 --> 00:08:29,926
- or four hours of juice...
- Charge.

179
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:31,219
Juice, charge.

180
00:08:32,924 --> 00:08:35,754
Then we have a choice to make.
And Jeff can explain that choice.

181
00:08:35,879 --> 00:08:37,058
No, it's your RV.

182
00:08:37,224 --> 00:08:39,249
This was my show.
You didn't give a damn about that.

183
00:08:39,374 --> 00:08:42,356
Abed, we're all on your side,
so if you're also on your side,

184
00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:43,531
it's petty.

185
00:08:44,343 --> 00:08:46,359
We could wait for
a couple of hours and hope

186
00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:48,514
that the engine
battery resets itself.

187
00:08:48,639 --> 00:08:50,633
If it doesn't, then we're
spending the night here,

188
00:08:50,758 --> 00:08:53,700
and {*at least }we have the secondary battery
to keep us warm for a few hours.

189
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:56,554
No, no, no, we're not spending the
night here, so what's the second option?

190
00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,664
Which I am nicknaming
little course of action.

191
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:03,818
I rewire the secondary battery to
the engine and hope it can start it.

192
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:07,297
If it doesn't we're spending a very
cold night with two dead batteries.

193
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:09,087
Okay, let's switch
the batteries then.

194
00:09:09,212 --> 00:09:10,216
Good democracy.

195
00:09:10,382 --> 00:09:12,343
Are we sure the secondary
battery won't just die too?

196
00:09:12,509 --> 00:09:14,095
- Ha.
- It's a possibility.

197
00:09:14,261 --> 00:09:15,221
It exists.

198
00:09:15,387 --> 00:09:16,556
But I'm pretty confident,

199
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:19,405
because the secondary
battery only powers the cabin.

200
00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:20,810
And we've kept the lights off

201
00:09:20,976 --> 00:09:22,312
and it goes without saying

202
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:25,064
that we've all learned
to stop charging our phones.

203
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:31,811
Why you all looking at
each other like that?

204
00:09:31,936 --> 00:09:34,699
And where are each
of your phones now?

205
00:09:39,307 --> 00:09:42,062
You know, I'm starting to
suspect the unthinkable.

206
00:09:42,187 --> 00:09:44,819
Namely, that in spite
of all we've experienced,

207
00:09:44,944 --> 00:09:48,922
there's a cartoonish vampiric orgy of
personal devices somewhere in the RV

208
00:09:49,270 --> 00:09:51,341
sucking away our remaining battery.

209
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:53,940
I only draw limited
comfort from the fact

210
00:09:54,065 --> 00:09:56,137
that nobody's running
to unplug anything.

211
00:09:57,092 --> 00:09:58,170
You know what?

212
00:09:59,259 --> 00:10:00,359
Say nothing.

213
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:04,812
I'll just, turn the light switch

214
00:10:04,978 --> 00:10:06,523
to the on position.

215
00:10:20,758 --> 00:10:22,681
There is a bright side to this.

216
00:10:22,806 --> 00:10:26,390
Most conventional weapons
don't require electricity.

217
00:10:27,947 --> 00:10:30,011
Are you going to eat me first?

218
00:10:38,107 --> 00:10:39,609
Hear those crickets?

219
00:10:40,772 --> 00:10:43,881
This would be a challenging place
to practice your stand-up act.

220
00:10:45,738 --> 00:10:47,962
So I rented Hotel
Rwanda the other night.

221
00:10:48,087 --> 00:10:50,838
And let me just say,
not a date movie.

222
00:10:53,989 --> 00:10:58,740
What would Arnold Schwarzenegger
sound like if he was bit by Dracula?

223
00:11:01,201 --> 00:11:02,670
All in favor?

224
00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:05,123
Then that solves the
matter of the giant hand.

225
00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:06,291
If there's no other business

226
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:07,903
If we're doing this
I'd like to restate importance

227
00:11:08,028 --> 00:11:09,419
of telling some of this story
with flashback.

228
00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:10,981
What do you mean by restate?

229
00:11:11,106 --> 00:11:13,464
Oh my god, I fell for it.
Meeting adjourned.

230
00:11:17,023 --> 00:11:18,344
Why do we call them elbows?

231
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,078
Why not arm knees?

232
00:11:22,479 --> 00:11:24,179
Man, I am dying up here.

233
00:11:25,303 --> 00:11:27,307
I'm scaling the blanket rations

234
00:11:27,432 --> 00:11:29,911
inversely to the wattage
of each person's phone.

235
00:11:30,036 --> 00:11:33,348
That way the person who killed
us the most will die the soonest,

236
00:11:33,473 --> 00:11:34,777
which feels fair.

237
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:36,328
Right, Britta?

238
00:11:40,368 --> 00:11:42,866
I can't go all night
being this angry.

239
00:11:44,289 --> 00:11:47,878
Heart attacks run in my family
and you people aren't worth it.

240
00:11:49,136 --> 00:11:50,873
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.

241
00:11:50,998 --> 00:11:54,213
I caused the situation
by not topping off the tank,

242
00:11:54,379 --> 00:11:58,468
and that vinyl accordion partition
is a totem of distrust.

243
00:11:58,905 --> 00:12:00,086
Sorry for that, too.

244
00:12:00,211 --> 00:12:02,388
Elroy, that's big of you.

245
00:12:02,779 --> 00:12:05,294
And for our part, we're sorry
that charging our perfectly normal

246
00:12:05,419 --> 00:12:08,102
cell phones destroyed
your weirdly fragile RV.

247
00:12:09,205 --> 00:12:11,351
Okay, I'm sorry about that apology.

248
00:12:11,476 --> 00:12:13,399
I'll try to be a better house guest.

249
00:12:17,277 --> 00:12:18,618
Sorry I've been unavailable,

250
00:12:18,743 --> 00:12:20,627
I've been trying to cut
to three weeks earlier.

251
00:12:20,752 --> 00:12:22,241
Really feels like we needed that.

252
00:12:22,407 --> 00:12:24,285
I have something to
apologize for as well.

253
00:12:24,451 --> 00:12:26,661
Perhaps you recall earlier when it
seemed

254
00:12:26,786 --> 00:12:28,539
as though we drove
through a skunk patch.

255
00:12:28,705 --> 00:12:30,667
- Yeah, you were getting high.
- Yeah, you were smoking pot.

256
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,128
You were getting stoned.

257
00:12:32,253 --> 00:12:35,314
Okay, I remember thinking
I really pulled that one off.

258
00:12:35,439 --> 00:12:37,215
You thought
that because you were high.

259
00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:41,761
You also thought that we were speeding
cuz you kept seeing the same bird.

260
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:48,810
All in favor?

261
00:12:49,439 --> 00:12:51,604
Then that solves the
matter of the giant hand.

262
00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:52,772
If there's no other business

263
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:55,650
Let me explain the need for flashback
here and don't interrupt

264
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:58,478
Okay, one quick thing and then
you can talk about flashbacks forever.

265
00:12:58,603 --> 00:12:59,779
Meeting adjourned.

266
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:00,613
Abed?

267
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,747
When they cut to three
weeks earlier on TV,

268
00:13:02,872 --> 00:13:04,992
they're not traveling in time,
dip ass.

269
00:13:05,471 --> 00:13:07,370
Okay, my apology now.

270
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:10,299
I've had some time to think about it,
and I've decided,

271
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:12,526
I'm sorry for not asking people
what they wanted

272
00:13:12,651 --> 00:13:14,252
before buying all the snacks
for the trip.

273
00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:16,343
- Wow, really?
- That's great.

274
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:19,142
Think about it, it's the worst
thing I've done on this trip.

275
00:13:19,267 --> 00:13:21,259
I've been nailing it.

276
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:22,426
She has.

277
00:13:22,696 --> 00:13:25,327
You have, I haven't been.

278
00:13:26,171 --> 00:13:28,763
I shouldn't be yelling at the
dean in front of any of you,

279
00:13:28,888 --> 00:13:30,195
it's unprofessional.

280
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,916
You're all right, Frankie.
We got no complaints.

281
00:13:42,362 --> 00:13:44,940
I forgive all of you.

282
00:13:51,371 --> 00:13:52,165
What?

283
00:13:54,249 --> 00:13:55,712
Then that solves the
matter of the giant hand.

284
00:13:55,837 --> 00:13:56,937
If there's no other business

285
00:13:57,062 --> 00:13:59,381
In a {*normal }road trip story the first act would
end with us deciding to go on the trip.

286
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,206
The second act would be the
trip ending with a disaster,

287
00:14:01,331 --> 00:14:02,627
and the third act would
be us getting back.

288
00:14:02,752 --> 00:14:04,765
The problem is that we've already
decided to take this trip weeks from now,

289
00:14:04,890 --> 00:14:06,525
which means the story starts
with us already on the road,

290
00:14:06,650 --> 00:14:08,351
which means the end of act one
won't be us going on the trip,

291
00:14:08,476 --> 00:14:09,581
it'll have to be the disaster.

292
00:14:09,706 --> 00:14:11,700
Which means something even
worse has to happen in act two.

293
00:14:11,825 --> 00:14:14,408
Unless we make the decision, right
now, that act one is a flashback,

294
00:14:14,533 --> 00:14:16,623
so that the beginning story
is now instead of then.

295
00:14:24,458 --> 00:14:25,948
You forgive us?

296
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:27,784
Absolutely.

297
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,827
You turd!

298
00:14:29,993 --> 00:14:31,037
I beg your pardon.

299
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:34,244
You have no sense of accountability.
You're like a child.

300
00:14:34,369 --> 00:14:36,211
If I'm a child,
you're a child abuser.

301
00:14:36,336 --> 00:14:37,752
No, not cool, Annie.

302
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:41,631
You never just said, leave my
hand where it is, I like it there.

303
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:43,174
I demand it stay.

304
00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:44,867
Because everyone complained about it.

305
00:14:44,992 --> 00:14:46,889
Well, where's that commitment
to spinelessness

306
00:14:47,014 --> 00:14:48,638
when we're all admitting
we did stuff wrong?

307
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:51,550
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm a bad dean, okay?

308
00:14:51,675 --> 00:14:53,851
No, that's what you always do.
That's not a real apology.

309
00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:56,834
Abed, shut up.
Go flashback and cut to stuff.

310
00:14:56,959 --> 00:14:59,973
And you, say you're sorry for buying
a giant hand and letting it sit around

311
00:15:00,098 --> 00:15:02,238
until we had to deal with
it, and say it without crying.

312
00:15:02,363 --> 00:15:04,003
No!
I'm an adult.

313
00:15:04,428 --> 00:15:06,447
And you can't make me not cry.

314
00:15:06,613 --> 00:15:09,841
You're all a bunch of bullies, and I
will say, I'm sorry, however I want.

315
00:15:09,966 --> 00:15:12,550
And by the way, I'm not sorry!

316
00:15:12,675 --> 00:15:15,321
It's my giant hand and I love it.

317
00:15:16,076 --> 00:15:17,357
We're not selling it.

318
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,223
This is like crate training a puppy.

319
00:15:20,348 --> 00:15:22,482
Everyone suppress every instinct
you have to let him out

320
00:15:22,607 --> 00:15:24,110
and sleep in bed with us.

321
00:15:24,235 --> 00:15:25,236
Cold.

322
00:15:26,257 --> 00:15:27,702
No, I mean, it's cold in the RV.

323
00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:29,766
I don't care how we treat
the dean tonight.

324
00:15:31,807 --> 00:15:33,365
Abed, don't go out.

325
00:15:41,939 --> 00:15:44,389
Did they send you out
here to be mean to me too?

326
00:15:46,709 --> 00:15:47,822
- No.
- Good.

327
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:50,941
Because I can't cry anymore unless
someone brings me a Pedialyte.

328
00:16:04,136 --> 00:16:05,137
Here.

329
00:16:13,734 --> 00:16:14,932
Pretty comforting, huh?

330
00:16:15,204 --> 00:16:18,234
We could've put it outside the
Art Department, or Biology,

331
00:16:18,359 --> 00:16:21,022
or Wood Working
if we remove one of the fingers.

332
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:23,483
You don't belong up here.
It's not right that you're up here.

333
00:16:23,810 --> 00:16:25,770
You get it, don't you, Abed?

334
00:16:26,597 --> 00:16:28,258
You know what's
important about the hand?

335
00:16:28,383 --> 00:16:29,784
No, I know what's important
about the story,

336
00:16:29,909 --> 00:16:31,695
and I know we're structurally
overdue for a disaster.

337
00:16:31,820 --> 00:16:32,821
Oh, great.

338
00:16:33,396 --> 00:16:36,746
Figures the one person on my side,
is the one playing people chess.

339
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:39,737
Don't move!

340
00:16:39,862 --> 00:16:41,611
What the hell else
are we supposed to do?

341
00:16:41,736 --> 00:16:43,738
Flashback with me.
Just trust me.

342
00:16:43,863 --> 00:16:46,511
I set a flashback three weeks earlier.
It's how this story begins.

343
00:16:46,636 --> 00:16:48,476
Close your eyes and concentrate.

344
00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:54,639
And that solves the
matter of the giant hand.

345
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,092
If there's no other business.

346
00:16:56,217 --> 00:16:57,892
- Oh, there's business.
- Yeah, there's business.

347
00:16:58,058 --> 00:17:01,896
When you tie the hand to the roof
we'd like you to use extra thick straps.{* please.}

348
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:04,106
- Extra thick.
- Extra thick straps!

349
00:17:04,272 --> 00:17:06,545
- Reinforced.
- All right. Meeting adjourned, great.

350
00:17:08,686 --> 00:17:10,504
Extra thick straps!

351
00:17:10,629 --> 00:17:12,581
Extra think straps.

352
00:17:12,706 --> 00:17:14,521
Extra thick straps.

353
00:17:14,646 --> 00:17:15,952
Extra thick straps.

354
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:18,746
- There, that should do it.
- What should do it?

355
00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:20,456
We made the straps extra thick.
Remember?

356
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:22,208
I don't remember
because it didn't happen.

357
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:23,464
It didn't?

358
00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,013
What?

359
00:17:28,135 --> 00:17:30,299
Did something just fall off the roof?

360
00:17:30,465 --> 00:17:32,400
That's a really stupid
question, Annie.

361
00:17:32,525 --> 00:17:34,204
Obviously something
fell off the roof.

362
00:17:34,329 --> 00:17:35,554
The question is what?

363
00:17:43,881 --> 00:17:45,564
Abed, where's the dean?

364
00:17:47,017 --> 00:17:48,472
Oh, damn, come on.

365
00:17:50,959 --> 00:17:52,446
Okay, one, two, three.

366
00:17:52,612 --> 00:17:54,305
Carefully, carefully.

367
00:17:54,430 --> 00:17:56,970
How do you lift a giant hand
off a person haphazardly?

368
00:17:57,095 --> 00:17:58,786
You know what, Annie

369
00:17:58,952 --> 00:17:59,829
Dean, hang on.

370
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:02,206
Dean, we're so sorry, we love you.

371
00:18:05,754 --> 00:18:06,682
Screw you!

372
00:18:06,807 --> 00:18:08,587
- What?
- Hey, that's my house.

373
00:18:08,753 --> 00:18:11,215
We are not sorry, we hate you!

374
00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:13,475
- Are we gonna freeze to death?
- I call the hand.

375
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,431
The fiberglass will
preserve body heat.

376
00:18:21,573 --> 00:18:23,978
What's wrong with me if that's hot?

377
00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:31,282
Dean, these temperatures are lowering
our immune systems in a world that is

378
00:18:31,407 --> 00:18:34,214
swarming with weird people's
unvaccinated toddlers.

379
00:18:34,339 --> 00:18:35,573
Deal with it.

380
00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:38,117
I'm gonna go run to the other side
and see if he's locked that door too.

381
00:18:39,008 --> 00:18:41,602
It probably undercuts my goals
to announce it out loud

382
00:18:41,727 --> 00:18:45,499
but I'm a verbal thinker, I'm not even
sure I have an idea until I say it.

383
00:18:47,955 --> 00:18:50,546
They should make hiking boots
with a compass in the toe.

384
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:51,380
Go!

385
00:18:51,546 --> 00:18:52,680
But don't you.

386
00:18:52,805 --> 00:18:56,850
Dean, we're sorry and we love you?

387
00:18:56,975 --> 00:18:59,714
Nice uncontrollable question mark,
Britta!

388
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,168
You can't even fake it!

389
00:19:01,293 --> 00:19:03,962
Dean, we're sorry and we love you.

390
00:19:04,087 --> 00:19:08,032
Super realistic, Annie,
you're a real sociopath.

391
00:19:08,157 --> 00:19:11,052
I saw all your true colors
when the chips were down.

392
00:19:11,177 --> 00:19:12,943
Abed is the only human among you!

393
00:19:13,109 --> 00:19:15,585
And I think we all know how
ironic that is, no offense, Abed.

394
00:19:15,710 --> 00:19:16,614
None possible.

395
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:19,418
Abed, you bonded with him.

396
00:19:19,543 --> 00:19:21,552
Talk to him.
You're alone in the end zone.

397
00:19:21,677 --> 00:19:23,496
This ball is yours or nobody's.

398
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:26,592
I appreciate your appeal to my well know
passion for athletics, and sarcasm,

399
00:19:26,717 --> 00:19:29,418
but I didn't actually bond with him,
I almost killed him.

400
00:19:29,584 --> 00:19:32,097
My naive obsession with contrived
flashback technique

401
00:19:32,222 --> 00:19:34,717
has kept me from being invested
in any of this actual story.

402
00:19:34,842 --> 00:19:36,034
I mean, what was it even?

403
00:19:36,159 --> 00:19:38,552
A bunch of people in an RV?
And I had to Christopher Nolan it?

404
00:19:38,718 --> 00:19:39,790
Well, there you go.

405
00:19:39,915 --> 00:19:43,532
Now you can forget all about stupid
three weeks earlier flashbacks

406
00:19:43,657 --> 00:19:45,935
and be a hero by joining us here,

407
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:49,105
in the moment,
and talking to the dean like a human.

408
00:19:49,627 --> 00:19:51,190
- That's my arc.
- That's your arc.

409
00:19:52,989 --> 00:19:54,339
Okay, here we go.

410
00:19:57,862 --> 00:19:58,823
If there's no other business.

411
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:01,359
I'd like to propose a heavy use
of flashback in this episode.

412
00:20:01,484 --> 00:20:03,702
- No Abed, don't do it.
- Thanks Abed.

413
00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,038
Stop that.
Get your head our of your ass.

414
00:20:06,204 --> 00:20:07,605
I don't know how.
I'm over saturated with the gimmick.

415
00:20:07,730 --> 00:20:09,458
- I don't know what's real.
- You are lying.

416
00:20:09,624 --> 00:20:11,377
You have to be lying.
You enjoy this.

417
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,546
Stop this.
What has gotten into you?

418
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,673
Why are you shocked
that he's alienated?

419
00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:18,217
You get him to do something
normal without abusing him.

420
00:20:18,955 --> 00:20:20,093
Abed, listen.

421
00:20:20,218 --> 00:20:22,146
This is a flashback, remember?

422
00:20:22,271 --> 00:20:24,647
The real story is
happening in the future.

423
00:20:24,772 --> 00:20:27,935
You actually flashed
back to now to help us.

424
00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:30,873
Okay, that was pretty good.

425
00:20:35,749 --> 00:20:38,804
So sad what happened here,
all those centons ago.

426
00:20:39,866 --> 00:20:41,782
So sad.
So preventable.

427
00:20:41,948 --> 00:20:44,556
Space Elder Abed, can you reach
backward with your mind

428
00:20:44,681 --> 00:20:45,786
and save our species?

429
00:20:46,297 --> 00:20:47,298
I can.

430
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,374
I'm Space Elder Britta.

431
00:20:55,981 --> 00:20:57,423
What are you guys talkin about?

432
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:08,267
I'm here now, child.
All will be made right.

433
00:21:11,109 --> 00:21:12,654
- Dean.
- Abed.

434
00:21:12,779 --> 00:21:15,065
I have discovered the
meaning of the giant hand.

435
00:21:16,255 --> 00:21:18,883
A hand has two functions,
to grip and to release.

436
00:21:19,875 --> 00:21:22,442
But without both of these
powers, it is useless.

437
00:21:23,472 --> 00:21:27,519
Like newborn infants, we grab what
comes near us, hoping to control it,

438
00:21:27,644 --> 00:21:30,299
taste it,
jam it into another child's eye.

439
00:21:31,507 --> 00:21:34,407
But, the time we spend
in control of our world,

440
00:21:35,309 --> 00:21:37,046
is the time we spend
letting go of others.

441
00:21:37,842 --> 00:21:39,579
Ideas, stories,

442
00:21:39,704 --> 00:21:42,090
pride, girls in soft sweaters,
video games,

443
00:21:42,215 --> 00:21:44,765
buttered noodles,
grip one for too long

444
00:21:44,890 --> 00:21:47,363
and you loose so much
that you've never held.

445
00:21:50,908 --> 00:21:54,701
This giant hand, was sent to
all of us as an invitation.

446
00:21:54,826 --> 00:21:57,429
To increase our mastery
over the power to hold on.

447
00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:00,334
And let go.

448
00:22:09,069 --> 00:22:10,070
Sorry.

449
00:22:13,741 --> 00:22:14,541
Dummy.

450
00:22:14,707 --> 00:22:16,210
I kinda hate you.

451
00:22:26,511 --> 00:22:28,097
The doors are locked
on that side, too.

452
00:22:29,428 --> 00:22:30,641
Took you long enough.

453
00:22:31,051 --> 00:22:33,477
I'd be lying if I said I didn't poop.

454
00:22:34,539 --> 00:22:35,980
Could you lie then?

455
00:22:36,343 --> 00:22:37,393
Sure I can.

456
00:22:37,851 --> 00:22:39,066
Sure I can.

457
00:22:41,679 --> 00:22:42,987
I slapped a man.

458
00:23:13,054 --> 00:23:17,274
Hi, this is Blake, the gentleman to
whom you're selling the giant hand.

459
00:23:17,399 --> 00:23:21,226
I am calling to confirm that
you have the correct address?

460
00:23:22,076 --> 00:23:24,543
We live at the end of a long driveway

461
00:23:24,668 --> 00:23:27,926
which often gets confused
with a road.

462
00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:33,111
Anyway, it's been many hours since
our scheduled appointment time.

463
00:23:33,236 --> 00:23:35,989
Again, it's Blake with a B,

464
00:23:36,740 --> 00:23:38,956
the purchaser of the giant hand.

465
00:23:39,892 --> 00:23:40,893
Bye.

466
00:23:58,123 --> 00:24:00,939
- They're not coming, are they?
- I don't know, Karen. I left a message.

467
00:24:01,105 --> 00:24:02,504
What are you gonna do with...?

468
00:24:02,629 --> 00:24:04,917
What am I gonna do
with the giant watch?

469
00:24:05,042 --> 00:24:06,224
I don't know.

470
00:24:06,349 --> 00:24:08,110
I don't plan for failure.

471
00:24:08,235 --> 00:24:10,032
Have you tried planning for success?

472
00:24:10,198 --> 00:24:12,733
Does everything you do
to this family have...

473
00:24:13,826 --> 00:24:14,827
No.

474
00:24:14,952 --> 00:24:16,452
Finish your thought.

475
00:24:16,577 --> 00:24:17,764
Finish your thought.

476
00:24:17,889 --> 00:24:20,655
Does everything have to do with me,

477
00:24:20,780 --> 00:24:24,129
purchasing oversize
items on the Internet.

478
00:24:24,295 --> 00:24:26,084
But, that's not what this
is really about, is it?

479
00:24:26,209 --> 00:24:29,093
It's not about a giant
hand, or a giant watch.

480
00:24:29,259 --> 00:24:32,253
- Please don't.
- It's about a normal sized son.

481
00:24:32,983 --> 00:24:37,035
Who disappeared
and it's all my fault,

482
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,104
because I gave him a giant kite!

483
00:24:41,495 --> 00:24:44,507
Yes, how could you not
make that connection?

484
00:24:44,632 --> 00:24:48,713
Why do you continue to buy giant
size versions of everyday objects,

485
00:24:48,838 --> 00:24:51,156
when they are the reason
our son is...

486
00:24:51,322 --> 00:24:52,422
Disappeared!

487
00:24:52,547 --> 00:24:53,492
Disappeared.

488
00:24:53,658 --> 00:24:55,814
They never found his
body on the ground,

489
00:24:55,939 --> 00:24:57,843
which proves he's
still up there waiting.

490
00:24:57,968 --> 00:25:02,356
He's waiting for a better daddy,
with a bigger hand.

491
00:25:08,833 --> 00:25:09,883
Really?

492
00:25:11,259 --> 00:25:13,637
So then why the watch?

493
00:25:13,964 --> 00:25:15,556
I thought it would look really cool.

494
00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:20,256
I'm gonna walk the dog,
and eventually leave you.

495
00:25:21,313 --> 00:25:23,844
I'll put the watch in the garage.

496
00:25:25,147 --> 00:25:27,818
And probably stop showering.

497
00:25:27,984 --> 00:25:30,446
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