1
00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:15,371
Three weeks earlier.
2
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:17,641
Huh?
3
00:00:17,984 --> 00:00:21,715
Sometimes a movie or show begins on
a random scene with no context...
4
00:00:21,921 --> 00:00:24,822
...encouraging you to wonder,
"Whoa. How'd this scenario come to be?"
5
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,926
Then it cuts to black and a title comes up
saying "three weeks earlier"?
6
00:00:28,128 --> 00:00:29,152
ANNIE:
Uh-huh.
7
00:00:29,329 --> 00:00:31,559
Here we are, sitting in silence,
crammed into an RV...
8
00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:33,733
...winding through
the roads of Colorado...
9
00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:36,401
...with a 19-foot
fiberglass hand tied to the roof.
10
00:00:38,638 --> 00:00:41,903
If there was a time to cut to
"three weeks earlier," it would be now.
11
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,174
You know what I mean?
12
00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:47,210
[JEFF CLEARING THROAT]
13
00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:51,677
[GROANS]
14
00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:56,078
JEFF:
Elroy, you got any booze?
15
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,357
Don't go through my stuff.
16
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:01,391
This isn't a bus. You're standing in my
living room, kitchen and bedroom.
17
00:01:01,594 --> 00:01:07,055
Ooh. I never thought about that.
And your backyard is 24,900 miles long.
18
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:10,293
Because it's the
circumference of the Earth.
19
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:13,233
Because you have no home.
20
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,465
Anyone need water?
What should we talk about?
21
00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:18,040
ABED: To make it intriguing,
someone should be injured...
22
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:21,680
...in a way that makes you wonder.
Like if Britta had a black eye.
23
00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:25,248
Dean, can I speak to you privately?
24
00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,477
I'm pretty sure the answer is no.
25
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,244
PELTON:
I'm coming up.
26
00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:37,952
You know, when I agreed to
haul this thing for you and the school...
27
00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:40,689
...you didn't say anything about
six people back there.
28
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,925
JEFF: Man, I wonder what
they're talking about?
29
00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:47,732
BRITTA: God, who knows. They're
sealed off behind this sound-proof vinyl.
30
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,772
I will drive my house off a cliff!
31
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:52,444
Elroy, we're not here to
snoop or judge you.
32
00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:56,604
You're not the first person to
have dirty dishes, CD-ROM porn...
33
00:01:56,816 --> 00:02:01,014
...and framed photos of yourself
with two biracial teenagers in a park.
34
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:02,846
It's not that.
35
00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:04,716
All this weight.
36
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:06,653
I may have...
37
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,420
...miscalculated the mileage.
38
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:11,855
[KNOCKING]
39
00:02:12,031 --> 00:02:14,329
JEFF:
Darn it. I want to hijack this RV...
40
00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:17,867
...but I'm foiled by its impenetrable
post-2001 security measures.
41
00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:21,733
You keep driving and nobody else
needs to know about this. Understand?
42
00:02:21,941 --> 00:02:24,102
The last thing we need is a panic.
43
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:27,005
What's going on? Are we out of gas?
44
00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:30,114
Yes! It's on empty! It's on empty!
45
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,876
Never seen anything like it.
The needle is invisible.
46
00:02:33,119 --> 00:02:35,610
- Oh, my God
- There's no needle! It's gone!
47
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:39,155
It's underneath the plastic or
maybe the engine tried to use it as fuel.
48
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:41,384
- Stop yelling!
- Well, stop being out of gas.
49
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,789
- You're freaking me out.
- You should freak out.
50
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:49,196
I have been driving for 25 years and
I have never seen so little gas in my life.
51
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:50,797
ALL: Ah!
- Stop, stop!
52
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:54,132
I'm yelling even louder
so you have to stop!
53
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:57,309
We're not in control of the gas, okay?
54
00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:00,070
We have to focus on
what we can control.
55
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,076
Is everyone's phone charged?
56
00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:05,148
JEFF: Yes. Charge your phones.
PELTON: Good idea. Smart thinking.
57
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,148
FRANKIE: Okay.
JEFF: Okay.
58
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:10,220
See?
We turned panic into preparedness.
59
00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:15,185
Now, if we do run out of gas,
guess who's got fully charged phones?
60
00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:17,863
ANNIE: Well-charged.
ABED: Full battery.
61
00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:20,225
For the love of God,
stop charging your phones!
62
00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:23,725
[ANNIE SCREAMS]
63
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:27,236
[TIRES SCREECHING]
64
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:34,837
PELTON:
Excuse me a moment.
65
00:03:36,749 --> 00:03:38,410
- What happened?
- I'm not telling you!
66
00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:41,178
- Fair enough. We're all gonna die.
ALL: Ah!
67
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:42,445
[THE 88'S "AT LEAST IT WAS HERE"
PLAYING]
68
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:45,056
♪ Give me some rope
Tie me to dream ♪
69
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,251
♪ Give me the hope
To run out of steam ♪
70
00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:51,591
♪ Somebody said
It can be here ♪
71
00:03:51,764 --> 00:03:55,700
♪ We could be roped up, tied up
Dead in a year ♪
72
00:03:55,868 --> 00:04:00,362
♪ I can't count the reasons
I should stay ♪
73
00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:05,234
♪ One by one
They all just fade away ♪♪
74
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:12,000
Ripped By mstoll
75
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:14,982
All in favor?
76
00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:17,485
And that solves the matter
of the giant hand.
77
00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,123
- If there's no other business...
- Yes.
78
00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:21,987
I'd like to establish this
as the opening for a flashback.
79
00:04:22,228 --> 00:04:23,456
No. Meeting adjourned.
80
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:30,095
[ENGINE STALLING]
81
00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:34,769
Oh. We're not doing
"three weeks earlier" thing.
82
00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:38,137
Abed, insert dialogue here about
you dropping the fourth-wall shtick.
83
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:40,369
- Nice.
- Careful you don't flood it.
84
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,673
That's the fifth time
you've reminded me.
85
00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:44,815
Sorry, it doesn't apply to our situation.
86
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,747
I'm going to check the battery.
87
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,319
Can you send someone or not?
88
00:04:49,522 --> 00:04:52,491
WOMAN: Can you please hold?
- No, I can't hold.
89
00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:53,784
Darn it.
90
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:58,020
When they put you on hold,
you hang up and you call right back.
91
00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:00,789
- Frankie taught me that.
- Hi, it's me.
92
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,696
Yeah, the one you put on hold.
See where that got you?
93
00:05:03,936 --> 00:05:05,597
- Can you send someone?
WOMAN: Please hold.
94
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,136
FRANKIE:
Don't you dare.
95
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,207
When they put you on hold,
hang up and call right back.
96
00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:14,174
I can play this game all day.
I told you we need roadside service...
97
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:17,178
WOMAN: Can you please hold?
- Oh, you can't be serious.
98
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:19,351
Well, hello. Guess who?
99
00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:25,115
I got nothing but fingers and time, pal.
Roadside service, Moffit Pass.
100
00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:27,959
Well, you could have
told me that an hour ago.
101
00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:29,151
[WOMAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
102
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,059
Your RV is full of crazy ladies.
Goodbye.
103
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:35,800
Have any of you
heard of Armed Forces Day?
104
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,300
Apparently it's today
and it's really boning us.
105
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:39,630
Yeah, here it is.
106
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,636
Armed Forces Day, huh.
107
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,536
Why would they put it in May?
108
00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:47,372
It's just sitting there in Memorial Day's
shadow like a military Hanukkah.
109
00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:51,175
Fitting that both war holidays have to
fight each other over the same month.
110
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:53,944
Notable that the one we remember
is the one with the theme of memory.
111
00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:56,553
Way to make this about
justifying your sensibility.
112
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:59,316
Well, apparently,
Armed Forces Day is...
113
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:01,652
...the big one for tow truck drivers.
114
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:06,321
There are three within 200 miles of this
spot and they're all in the same parade.
115
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,591
Maybe it'll come by this way...
116
00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:11,770
...if we offer them instruments?
117
00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:14,905
JEFF: Nobody reroutes parades.
- They rerouted Kennedy's parade.
118
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:18,236
So call the CIA, tell them we want to
assassinate the president.
119
00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:20,070
We'll be home for Wheel of Fortune.
120
00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:22,338
BRITTA: Who are we kidding?
That'll never work.
121
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:25,415
We got Britta'd. Yes, I use it too.
122
00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:28,610
I don't want anybody here
blaming themselves for this.
123
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,413
I want everyone blaming Frankie.
124
00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:33,353
- What? Me? That's stupid.
- She's the reason we are here.
125
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:37,290
This is what happens when you
make decisions outside the moment.
126
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:41,364
Whatever moment you were in the day
you bought a gigantic hand...
127
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:44,695
...I am proud to
remain outside until I die.
128
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:48,772
You will, baby.
And this is where logic gets you.
129
00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:53,502
Stuck in a rocky mountain pass at
sundown, gradually freezing to death.
130
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:56,307
And forced to decide,
in the backs of our heads...
131
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:58,881
...just in case,
who we'd eat first. Annie, right?
132
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,019
- What?
- Not a judgment. It's biology.
133
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:02,949
- What?
JEFF: Craig.
134
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:06,717
The hand currently crushing our lives is
not about being in the moment.
135
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:09,793
You bought something we can't return
with money we don't have.
136
00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:12,827
No one knows why. Your latest idea
is to put it on the quad...
137
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:15,659
...with a plaque that says,
"Give a hand to your brain."
138
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:19,429
"Give your brain a hand." You're
making it sound stupid on purpose.
139
00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:21,903
It's over, Craig.
You are lucky to have Frankie.
140
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,770
You're lucky she was able to
find some weirdo... Excuse me.
141
00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:28,413
Bigger weirdo on eBay
willing to pay cash for it.
142
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:31,845
This is a lot of narrative pipe.
Maybe we didn't need a flashback.
143
00:07:32,084 --> 00:07:35,747
Abed, is this a show? I thought you said
you knew it wasn't a TV show.
144
00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:38,579
Season two, you mean? Don't know.
I can change my mind.
145
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:42,318
Can I ask that it not be a show about
you saying it's a show? Because dumb.
146
00:07:44,363 --> 00:07:46,058
- You're dumb.
- Go in the back.
147
00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:47,630
Go. Sit by yourself.
148
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:50,462
PELTON: What are you doing?
ANNIE: Jeff, what is wrong with you?
149
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,331
JEFF:
I'm sick of it. It's a show.
150
00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:56,702
It's not a show. It's your show. My show.
A good show. A bad show. I am sick of it.
151
00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:59,002
I don't want to hear
the word "show" again.
152
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,806
Show, show, show. Is it a show?
Show, show, show.
153
00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:04,175
So now it's a show about this?
154
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:06,608
You're right.
That's worse. Abed, come back.
155
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,878
PELTON: Abed, come back.
- I'm not sorry.
156
00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:12,284
- It's not good to be back.
- What the hell was that?
157
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,284
The battery is dead.
158
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,224
- Flooded?
- Winger, so help me God...
159
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:19,897
The RV has two batteries,
a primary and a...
160
00:08:20,132 --> 00:08:21,531
JEFF:
Secondary.
161
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,631
We overloaded the electrical system
and killed the engine battery.
162
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:29,603
Now the secondary the battery
has three or four hours of...
163
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:32,004
Charge. Juice charge.
164
00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:36,614
And we have a choice to make.
And Jeff can explain that choice.
165
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:37,840
Oh, it's your RV.
166
00:08:38,050 --> 00:08:39,642
This was my show. You didn't care.
167
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,342
Abed, we're all on your side.
168
00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:44,682
So if you're also
on your side, it's petty.
169
00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:49,059
We could wait for a couple hours and
hope the engine battery resets itself.
170
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,321
If it doesn't,
we're spending the night here.
171
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,022
At least we have the secondary
battery to keep us warm.
172
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:57,396
No. We're not spending the night here.
What's the second option?
173
00:08:57,637 --> 00:09:00,435
Which I am nicknaming,
"lil course of action."
174
00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:04,404
I rewire the secondary battery to
the engine and hope it can start it.
175
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:08,045
If it doesn't, we're spending a
very cold night with two dead batteries.
176
00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:10,579
Okay, let's switch the batteries.
Good democracy.
177
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,150
Are we sure the
secondary battery won't die too?
178
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:14,343
Ha.
179
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,044
- It's a possibility.
- It exists.
180
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:20,022
But I'm pretty confident because the
secondary battery only powers the cabin.
181
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,591
And we've kept the lights off.
182
00:09:21,794 --> 00:09:25,855
And it goes without saying that we've
all learned to stop charging our phones.
183
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,661
Why are you looking at
each other like that?
184
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:35,466
And where are
each of your phones now?
185
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:42,606
You know, I'm starting to
suspect the unthinkable.
186
00:09:42,815 --> 00:09:45,409
Namely that in spite of
all we've experienced...
187
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:49,714
...there's a cartoonish, vampiric orgy of
personal devices somewhere in the RV...
188
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:52,117
...sucking away our remaining battery.
189
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:56,921
I draw limited comfort from the fact that
nobody's running to unplug anything.
190
00:09:57,296 --> 00:09:59,287
But you know what...
191
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,490
...say nothing.
192
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:03,698
I'll just...
193
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:07,303
...turn the light switch to
the "on" position.
194
00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:18,776
[♪♪♪]
195
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,445
There is a bright side to this.
196
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:27,752
Most conventional weapons
don't require electricity.
197
00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:31,459
Are you going to eat me first?
198
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,360
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
199
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,963
Hear those crickets?
200
00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:44,965
This would be a challenging place
to practice your stand-up act.
201
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:50,012
So I rented Hotel Rwanda
the other night. Let me just say:
202
00:10:50,249 --> 00:10:52,376
Not a date movie.
203
00:10:54,754 --> 00:11:00,192
What would Arnold Schwarzenegger
sound like if he was bit by Dracula?
204
00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:03,552
All in favor?
205
00:11:03,796 --> 00:11:07,129
That solves the matter of the
giant hand. If there's no other business...
206
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:10,200
I'd like to re-state the importance
of telling this story with flashbacks.
207
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:11,768
What do you mean by re-state?
208
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:14,269
Oh, my God. I fell for it.
Meeting adjourned.
209
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:22,007
Why do we call them "elbows"?
Why not "arm knees"?
210
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,548
Man, I am dying up here.
Heh, heh, heh.
211
00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:30,379
I'm scaling the blanket rations inversely
to the wattage of each person's phone.
212
00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:32,854
That way,
the person who killed us the most...
213
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,550
...will die the soonest, which feels fair.
214
00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:37,557
Right, Britta?
215
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:44,534
I can't go all night being this angry.
216
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:47,097
Heart attacks run in my family...
217
00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:49,330
...and you people aren't worth it!
218
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,506
- I'm sorry.
BRITTA: It's okay.
219
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:55,010
I caused the situation by
not topping off the tank.
220
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:59,241
And that vinyl accordion
partition is a totem of distrust.
221
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:00,817
I'm sorry for that too.
222
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:03,181
Elroy, that's big of you.
223
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,847
For our part, we're sorry that charging
our perfectly-normal cell phones...
224
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,890
...destroyed your weirdly-fragile RV.
225
00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:11,863
Okay, I'm sorry about that apology.
226
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:14,191
I'll try to be a better house guest.
227
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,027
[ABED SCREECHING]
228
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:21,198
Sorry I was unavailable. I was
trying to cut to three weeks earlier.
229
00:12:21,373 --> 00:12:25,070
- It really feels like we needed that.
BRITTA: I have to apologize as well.
230
00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:29,338
Perhaps you recall when it seemed as
though we drove through a skunk patch.
231
00:12:29,548 --> 00:12:31,448
- You were getting high.
- Smoking pot.
232
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,550
ELROY: Getting stoned.
- Oh, okay.
233
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,551
I remember thinking,
"I really pulled that one off."
234
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:37,984
ANNIE:
Because you were high.
235
00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:40,249
You also thought that
we were speeding...
236
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,553
...because you
"kept seeing the same bird."
237
00:12:43,362 --> 00:12:44,795
Unh!
238
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,490
Unh!
239
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,133
All in favor?
240
00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:53,497
That solves the matter of the giant hand.
If there's no other business...
241
00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:56,469
Let me explain the need for
flashback here. Don't interrupt.
242
00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:59,075
One quick thing, then you can
talk about flashbacks.
243
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:00,575
Meeting adjourned.
244
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,374
Abed, when they cut to
three weeks earlier on TV...
245
00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:05,880
...they're not traveling in time, dip-ass.
- Jeff.
246
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,143
ANNIE:
Okay, my apology now.
247
00:13:08,387 --> 00:13:10,082
I've had some time to think about it.
248
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:15,022
I'm sorry for not asking people what they
wanted before buying snacks for the trip.
249
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:16,819
- Wow, really?
JEFF: That's great.
250
00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:20,192
What? Think about it.
It's the worst thing I've done on this trip.
251
00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:23,162
- I've been nailing it.
FRANKIE: She has.
252
00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:24,801
You have.
253
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,699
I haven't been.
254
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:30,773
I shouldn't be yelling at the dean in front
of any of you. It's unprofessional.
255
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:34,207
Oh, you're all right, Frankie.
We got no complaints.
256
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:39,509
[PELTON SIGHS]
257
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:46,717
I forgive all of you. Heh, heh, heh.
258
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,692
What?
259
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,535
That solves the giant hand.
If there's no other business...
260
00:13:57,736 --> 00:14:00,330
In a normal road-trip story, the first act
would end with us deciding to go.
261
00:14:00,539 --> 00:14:02,006
Second act would be the trip
ending with disaster.
262
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,300
The third act would be us returning.
263
00:14:03,475 --> 00:14:05,534
Problem is, we decided
to take this trip weeks from now.
264
00:14:05,744 --> 00:14:07,803
The story starts with us
already on the road.
265
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,345
So the end of act one
will have to be the disaster.
266
00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:12,540
So something worse has
to happen in act two.
267
00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:15,151
Unless we decide now
that act one is a flashback...
268
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:18,016
...so the beginning of the story
is now instead of then.
269
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,725
You forgive us?
270
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:28,260
Absolutely.
271
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,593
You turd.
272
00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:32,599
- I beg your pardon?
- Guys.
273
00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:35,363
You have no sense of accountability.
You're a child.
274
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:38,533
If I'm a child, you're a child abuser.
No. Not cool, Annie.
275
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:43,977
You never said, "Leave my hand where
it is. I like it there. I demand it stay."
276
00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:46,048
Because everyone complained about it.
277
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:49,415
Where's that commitment when
we're admitting we did stuff wrong?
278
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:52,182
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm a bad dean. Okay?
279
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,621
That's what you always do.
Not a real apology.
280
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:57,624
- Jeff?
- Shut up. Go flashback and cut to stuff.
281
00:14:57,863 --> 00:14:59,922
Say you're sorry for
buying a giant hand...
282
00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:03,590
...and letting it sit around until
we dealt with it. Say it without crying.
283
00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:07,238
No. I'm an adult.
And you can't make me not cry.
284
00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:10,738
You're all a bunch of bullies,
and I will say I'm sorry however I want.
285
00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:13,241
And by the way, I'm not sorry!
286
00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:16,573
It's my giant hand and I love it!
287
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,750
We're not selling it!
288
00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:21,145
This is like crate-training a puppy.
289
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:24,254
Suppress every instinct
to let him sleep in bed with us.
290
00:15:24,823 --> 00:15:26,552
Cold.
291
00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:29,892
I mean in the RV. I don't care
how we treat the dean tonight.
292
00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:34,658
Abed, don't go after...
293
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:45,610
Did they send you out here
to be mean to me too?
294
00:15:47,546 --> 00:15:48,604
- No.
- Good.
295
00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:52,341
Because I can't cry anymore
unless someone brings me a Pedialyte.
296
00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:03,584
Here.
297
00:16:04,863 --> 00:16:06,330
Here.
298
00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:15,700
Pretty comforting, huh?
299
00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:18,205
We could have put it
outside the art department.
300
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:21,811
Or biology. Or woodworking if
we removed one of the fingers.
301
00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:24,380
You don't belong up here.
It's not right.
302
00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:29,110
You get it, don't you, Abed? You know
what's important about the hand.
303
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:32,518
No. I know what's important about story.
We're overdue for a disaster.
304
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:33,885
Great.
305
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:37,527
Figures. The one person on my side
is the one playing people chess.
306
00:16:38,364 --> 00:16:39,456
[PELTON SCREAMS]
307
00:16:39,631 --> 00:16:42,498
- Don't move. Don't move.
- What the hell are we supposed to do?
308
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:43,861
- Flashback with me.
- What?
309
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:47,300
Trust me. I set a flashback three
weeks earlier. It's how this begins.
310
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,337
Close your eyes and concentrate.
311
00:16:49,541 --> 00:16:50,974
[PELTON GRUNTING]
312
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,700
[ABED GRUNTING]
313
00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:57,007
That solves the matter of the
giant hand. If there's no other business...
314
00:16:57,216 --> 00:16:58,683
- There's business.
ABED: There's business.
315
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:02,753
When we tie the hand to the roof,
we'd like you to use extra thick straps.
316
00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:04,889
- Extra thick.
- Extra thick straps.
317
00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:08,321
- Reinforced.
- All right. Meeting adjourned. Ah!
318
00:17:09,261 --> 00:17:11,058
BOTH:
♪ Extra thick straps ♪
319
00:17:11,263 --> 00:17:12,992
♪ Extra thick straps ♪
320
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,859
♪ Extra thick straps ♪
321
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:16,728
♪ Extra thick straps ♪♪
322
00:17:16,935 --> 00:17:19,529
- There, that should do it.
- What should do it?
323
00:17:19,738 --> 00:17:23,003
- We ensured the straps were extra thick.
- No, it didn't happen!
324
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,368
It didn't?
325
00:17:24,943 --> 00:17:26,638
[RUMBLING AND PELTON SCREAMS]
326
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:27,870
ANNIE:
What?
327
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,139
[THUMP]
328
00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:31,077
Did something just fall off the roof?
329
00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:33,274
That's a really stupid question, Annie.
330
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:36,386
Obviously something fell off the roof.
The question is what?
331
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,523
[FOOTSTEPS]
332
00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:46,358
Abed, where's the dean?
333
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:48,661
ELROY:
Oh, damn. Come on.
334
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:51,461
[ALL GRUNTING]
335
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:53,228
JEFF:
Okay, one, two, three.
336
00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:55,202
Carefully. Carefully.
337
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:57,898
How do you lift a giant hand
off a person haphazardly?
338
00:17:58,110 --> 00:17:59,577
- You know what, Annie...
- No!
339
00:17:59,778 --> 00:18:02,975
- Dean, hang on.
- Dean, we're so sorry. We love you.
340
00:18:06,385 --> 00:18:07,909
- Screw you!
BRITTA: What?
341
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:11,988
ELROY: Hey, that's my house.
- We are not sorry. We hate you!
342
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:14,920
- Are we gonna freeze to death?
- I call the hand.
343
00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:19,228
The fiberglass will
preserve body heat.
344
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,262
[GRUNTING]
345
00:18:22,301 --> 00:18:24,735
What's wrong with me that that's hot?
346
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:31,270
Dean, these temperatures are
lowering our immune systems...
347
00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:35,072
...in a world that's swarming with
weird people's unvaccinated toddlers.
348
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,338
PELTON:
Deal with it.
349
00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:39,642
ELROY: I'll go to the other side
to see if he's locked that door too.
350
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:42,480
It probably undercuts my goals
to announce them out loud.
351
00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:47,021
But I'm a verbal thinker. I'm not even
sure I have an idea until I say it.
352
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:51,323
They should make hiking boots
with a compass in the toe.
353
00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:52,929
ALL:
Go.
354
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:57,626
Dean? We're sorry and we love you?
355
00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:00,361
PELTON: Nice uncontrollable
question mark, Britta.
356
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:01,868
You can't even fake it?
357
00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:04,837
Dean, we're sorry and we love you.
358
00:19:05,043 --> 00:19:06,510
PELTON:
Super realistic, Annie.
359
00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:08,838
You're a real sociopath.
360
00:19:09,047 --> 00:19:11,641
I saw all your true colors
when the chips were down.
361
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:15,480
Abed's the only human among you, and
I think we all know how ironic that is.
362
00:19:15,687 --> 00:19:17,382
- No offense, Abed.
- None possible.
363
00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:18,749
Abed.
364
00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:21,118
You bonded with him. Talk to him.
365
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:24,295
You're alone in the end zone.
This ball is yours or nobody's.
366
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,657
I appreciate your appeal
to my well-known passion...
367
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,265
...for athletics and sarcasm.
368
00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:30,196
We didn't bond, I almost killed him.
369
00:19:30,402 --> 00:19:32,768
My obsession with
contrived flashback technique...
370
00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:35,337
...kept me from being
invested in any of this story.
371
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:36,531
What was it even?
372
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:39,335
Bunch of people in an RV?
I had to Christopher Nolan it?
373
00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:40,569
Well, there you go.
374
00:19:40,812 --> 00:19:42,279
Now you can forget all about...
375
00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:45,348
...stupid "three weeks earlier"
flashbacks and be a hero.
376
00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:47,781
By joining us here, in the moment.
377
00:19:47,986 --> 00:19:49,886
And talking to the Dean like a human.
378
00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:51,980
- That's my arc.
- That's your arc.
379
00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:55,657
Okay. Here we go.
380
00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:57,887
[GRUNTING]
381
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:02,098
- If there's no other business...
- I'd like to propose a use of flashback.
382
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:04,529
- No, Abed. Don't do it.
- Thanks, Abed.
383
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,830
Stop! Get your head out of your ass.
384
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:10,338
I can't. I'm over-saturated with
the gimmick. Don't know what's real.
385
00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:14,206
- You have to be lying. You enjoy this.
- Stop it. What has gotten into you?
386
00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:16,438
Why are you shocked
that he's alienated?
387
00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:19,014
You get him to do something
normal without abuse.
388
00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:20,745
Abed, listen.
389
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,887
This is a flashback, remember?
390
00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:25,420
The real story is
happening in the future.
391
00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:28,718
You actually flashed back
to now to help us.
392
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,757
Okay, that was pretty good.
393
00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:40,235
So sad what happened here,
all those centons ago.
394
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:42,566
So sad. So preventable.
395
00:20:42,774 --> 00:20:43,866
Space Elder Abed...
396
00:20:44,042 --> 00:20:46,636
...can you reach back
with your mind and save our species?
397
00:20:46,945 --> 00:20:48,606
I can.
398
00:20:48,847 --> 00:20:51,145
I'm Space Elder Britta.
399
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:58,245
What are you guys talking about?
400
00:21:06,398 --> 00:21:09,060
I'm here now, child.
All will be made right.
401
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:13,431
- Dean.
PELTON: Abed.
402
00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:15,869
ABED: I have discovered the
meaning of the giant hand.
403
00:21:16,975 --> 00:21:20,411
A hand has two functions,
to grip and to release.
404
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:23,911
But without both of these powers,
it is useless.
405
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,880
Like newborn infants,
we grab what comes near us...
406
00:21:27,085 --> 00:21:29,110
...hoping to control it, taste it...
407
00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:31,881
...jam it into another child's eye.
408
00:21:32,190 --> 00:21:35,751
But the time we spend
in control of our world...
409
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,589
...is the time we spend
letting go of others.
410
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:40,628
Ideas, stories, pride...
411
00:21:40,832 --> 00:21:43,892
...girls in soft sweaters,
video games, buttered noodles...
412
00:21:44,102 --> 00:21:48,402
Grip one for too long and you lose
so much that you've never held.
413
00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:55,340
This giant hand was sent
to all of us as an invitation...
414
00:21:55,547 --> 00:21:58,846
...to increase our mastery
over the power to hold on.
415
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:01,680
And let go.
416
00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:04,682
[♪♪♪]
417
00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:11,320
Sorry.
418
00:22:11,863 --> 00:22:14,058
BRITTA: Dean.
ANNIE: Heh, heh, heh.
419
00:22:14,232 --> 00:22:16,063
JEFF: Dummy.
ANNIE: I kind of hate you.
420
00:22:17,202 --> 00:22:21,639
[♪♪♪]
421
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:29,644
The doors were locked
on that side too.
422
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,444
Took you long enough.
423
00:22:31,817 --> 00:22:34,251
I'd be lying if I said I didn't poop.
424
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:36,753
Could you lie, then?
425
00:22:36,988 --> 00:22:38,353
Sure I can.
426
00:22:38,557 --> 00:22:41,754
Sure I can. Heh, heh, heh.
427
00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:43,760
I slapped you, man.
428
00:22:46,765 --> 00:22:47,823
[♪♪♪]
429
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:50,866
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
430
00:22:57,175 --> 00:22:58,472
Where were you?
431
00:22:58,677 --> 00:23:02,010
The reason why
I'm covered in feathers is because...
432
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:05,240
[♪♪♪]
433
00:23:13,759 --> 00:23:17,889
Hi, this is Blake, the gentlemen to
whom you are selling the giant hand.
434
00:23:18,096 --> 00:23:22,624
I am calling to confirm that
you have the correct address.
435
00:23:22,868 --> 00:23:25,098
We live at the end of
a long driveway...
436
00:23:25,303 --> 00:23:29,069
...which often gets
confused with a road.
437
00:23:29,274 --> 00:23:33,734
Anyway, it's been many hours since
our scheduled appointment time.
438
00:23:33,945 --> 00:23:37,142
Again, it's Blake with a "B."
439
00:23:37,382 --> 00:23:40,374
The purchaser of the giant hand.
440
00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:42,109
Bye.
441
00:23:44,790 --> 00:23:46,257
[SIGHS]
442
00:23:58,737 --> 00:24:01,729
- They're not coming?
- I don't know, Karen. I left a message.
443
00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:05,842
- What are you gonna do with...?
- With the giant watch?
444
00:24:06,077 --> 00:24:08,910
I don't know. I don't plan for failure.
445
00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:10,809
Have you tried planning for success?
446
00:24:11,049 --> 00:24:14,246
Does everything you do
to this family have...?
447
00:24:14,653 --> 00:24:17,087
No, finish your thought.
448
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:18,449
Finish your thought.
449
00:24:18,657 --> 00:24:22,320
Does everything have to do
with me purchasing...
450
00:24:22,561 --> 00:24:24,927
...over-sized items on the Internet?
451
00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:29,863
But that's not what this is about, is it?
It's not about a giant hand or watch...
452
00:24:30,101 --> 00:24:33,468
- Please don't.
- It's about a normal-sized son...
453
00:24:33,672 --> 00:24:35,367
...who disappeared.
454
00:24:35,607 --> 00:24:37,632
And it's all my fault...
455
00:24:37,843 --> 00:24:41,973
...because I gave him a giant kite!
Argh!
456
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:45,207
Yes! How could you not
make that connection?
457
00:24:45,450 --> 00:24:49,614
Why do you continue to buy giant-sized
versions of everyday objects...
458
00:24:49,821 --> 00:24:51,948
...when they are the
reason our son is dead?
459
00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,284
Disappeared! Disappeared!
460
00:24:54,493 --> 00:24:58,452
They never found his body on the ground
which proves he's still up there waiting.
461
00:24:58,663 --> 00:25:01,188
He's waiting for a better daddy...
462
00:25:01,399 --> 00:25:04,027
...with a bigger hand.
463
00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:07,330
Oh.
464
00:25:09,674 --> 00:25:11,403
Really?
465
00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:14,408
So then why the watch?
466
00:25:14,646 --> 00:25:16,341
I thought it would look really cool.
467
00:25:16,848 --> 00:25:18,873
I'm gonna walk the dog...
468
00:25:19,117 --> 00:25:21,745
...and eventually leave you.
469
00:25:21,987 --> 00:25:25,252
I'll put the watch in the garage.
470
00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:28,727
And probably stop showering.
471
00:25:28,827 --> 00:25:31,387
[♪♪♪]
472
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Ripped By mstoll