1 00:00:05,322 --> 00:00:12,096 From the marble steps of old DC to the sun soaked Tampa coast. 2 00:00:12,097 --> 00:00:16,884 I have been to every place where you can find a human race but 3 00:00:16,885 --> 00:00:19,272 I have been Vicki the mooooooost! 4 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:23,842 I'm gonna go get a shovel, because theater is dead. 5 00:00:23,843 --> 00:00:24,342 Shh. 6 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:34,818 Hi Starburns. 7 00:00:34,819 --> 00:00:39,410 Todd, you know you don't have to creep around to be weird, right? 8 00:00:39,411 --> 00:00:41,520 You're weird at picnics. 9 00:00:41,521 --> 00:00:43,410 Did you hear about the paintball game? 10 00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:44,480 Yeah, I heard there was no paintball. 11 00:00:44,481 --> 00:00:45,760 I heard it was banned. 12 00:00:45,761 --> 00:00:48,640 Well, you can't believe everything you hear. 13 00:00:48,641 --> 00:00:52,579 Okay, you just asked if I heard something and 14 00:00:52,580 --> 00:00:55,905 now you're invalidating the whole. 15 00:00:55,906 --> 00:00:56,405 Oh! Aah! 16 00:01:33,659 --> 00:01:41,679 Do you know why I beat you, Todd? 17 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,825 Seriously, you don't? 18 00:01:44,826 --> 00:01:46,153 Cuz I don't either, but that was insane. 19 00:01:46,154 --> 00:01:47,767 I'm 50, here. 20 00:01:48,986 --> 00:01:50,003 I think, I think I could win this year. 21 00:01:50,004 --> 00:01:51,384 I think I can go all the way. 22 00:01:51,385 --> 00:01:55,129 Actually, you'll be settling for silver. 23 00:02:30,977 --> 00:02:33,613 Names, you give me names or you're expelled, that simple. 24 00:02:33,614 --> 00:02:36,875 I told ya, I don't know nothing about no secret paintball games. 25 00:02:36,876 --> 00:02:39,384 This is from huffing paint, I swear. 26 00:02:39,385 --> 00:02:41,421 Escort Alex Osbourne off campus. 27 00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:42,431 Hey, hey, hey! 28 00:02:42,432 --> 00:02:43,598 Hold your horse panties. 29 00:02:43,599 --> 00:02:45,537 You didn't tell me you knew my name. 30 00:02:45,538 --> 00:02:48,909 Look, I was about to take Todd out, and then we both got shot. 31 00:02:48,910 --> 00:02:50,238 Guy was invisible. 32 00:02:50,239 --> 00:02:51,649 A ghost. 33 00:02:51,650 --> 00:02:54,395 Uses silver paint. 34 00:02:54,396 --> 00:02:55,525 A ghost? 35 00:02:55,526 --> 00:02:56,035 So no name? 36 00:02:56,036 --> 00:02:57,416 I'd call him Silver Ghost, but 37 00:02:57,417 --> 00:03:00,752 that's probably already taken by an indie comic book or a terrible tequila. 38 00:03:00,753 --> 00:03:02,552 Bye forever Starburns. 39 00:03:02,553 --> 00:03:03,125 No. 40 00:03:03,126 --> 00:03:04,823 No. No, no, no, no. 41 00:03:04,824 --> 00:03:05,574 No, don't make me. Frankie? 42 00:03:05,575 --> 00:03:08,285 Dean, I respect that you are my boss, so either fire me or 43 00:03:08,286 --> 00:03:10,663 let me handle this and go to your office. 44 00:03:10,664 --> 00:03:14,850 I want to give your paintball friends a message, Jeff. 45 00:03:14,851 --> 00:03:15,953 Good morning. 46 00:03:15,954 --> 00:03:18,320 This era is over. 47 00:03:18,321 --> 00:03:20,640 It was fun while it lasted, but now mommy's home. 48 00:03:20,641 --> 00:03:23,550 Everybody with a gun will be expelled or fired. 49 00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:24,480 Don't worry, Miss Dart. 50 00:03:24,481 --> 00:03:26,520 My boys and I will get this cleaned up in no time. 51 00:03:26,521 --> 00:03:27,340 Thank you. 52 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,200 Jeff, do you know Deputy Custodian Lapari. 53 00:03:29,201 --> 00:03:32,670 Oh, we haven't had the pleasure because Mr. Winger has caused me nothing 54 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:34,900 but pain over the years with his paint balling. 55 00:03:34,901 --> 00:03:35,990 I'm sorry. I quit that. 56 00:03:35,991 --> 00:03:36,950 That's behind me. 57 00:03:36,951 --> 00:03:37,450 Sure it is. 58 00:03:39,630 --> 00:03:41,400 Handling turds has rubbed off on him. 59 00:03:41,401 --> 00:03:44,800 Custodian Lapari is gonna be honored this week at the Gala for 60 00:03:44,801 --> 00:03:45,970 a Cleaner Greendale. 61 00:03:45,971 --> 00:03:47,260 I'd like you to introduce him. 62 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:47,930 Why would I do that? 63 00:03:47,931 --> 00:03:50,080 Because you're the de facto leader of Greendale. 64 00:03:50,081 --> 00:03:53,400 And if you gave a speech coming out against paintball, it might end it. 65 00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:54,110 No. No. 66 00:03:54,111 --> 00:03:56,730 Just because I'm not playing doesn't mean I'm the weenie that tells 67 00:03:56,731 --> 00:03:57,310 people not to. 68 00:03:58,610 --> 00:03:59,920 Please? 69 00:03:59,921 --> 00:04:01,062 If not for Greendale, then for me? 70 00:04:03,465 --> 00:04:06,507 I'll think about it. 71 00:04:10,436 --> 00:04:11,498 Look, I was a different guy back then. 72 00:04:11,499 --> 00:04:12,750 Yeah. Two, never mind. 73 00:04:12,751 --> 00:04:14,270 Well, Frankie's upset. 74 00:04:14,271 --> 00:04:15,410 Did she break up with someone? 75 00:04:15,411 --> 00:04:16,320 Which gender? 76 00:04:16,321 --> 00:04:17,942 I don't care, but everybody else does. 77 00:04:17,943 --> 00:04:19,382 She's upset about paintball. 78 00:04:19,383 --> 00:04:20,392 Paint? 79 00:04:21,645 --> 00:04:22,551 Ball? 80 00:04:22,552 --> 00:04:25,743 Occasionally our campus erupts into a flawless, post modern, homage to 81 00:04:25,744 --> 00:04:29,550 action adventure mythology, mischaracterized by the ignorant as parody. 82 00:04:29,551 --> 00:04:33,580 Apparently, now that Frankie's declared it illegal, it's gone underground, 83 00:04:33,581 --> 00:04:35,315 and is still happening as we speak. 84 00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:36,680 Well maybe for freshman, but 85 00:04:36,681 --> 00:04:38,930 honestly we've kind of done it to death, right? 86 00:04:38,931 --> 00:04:39,650 Done it? 87 00:04:39,651 --> 00:04:41,035 Nailed it? I've won a few time now. 88 00:04:41,036 --> 00:04:43,870 No, who keeps track of that? 89 00:04:43,871 --> 00:04:45,402 Lame! I'm thinking mostly about Frankie. 90 00:04:45,403 --> 00:04:49,107 She's our friend, and she cares about this school, and I think it would 91 00:04:49,108 --> 00:04:52,286 break her heart if she caught any of us undermining her goals. 92 00:04:52,287 --> 00:04:52,948 Yeah. Yeah. 93 00:04:52,949 --> 00:04:54,545 I agree. A reasonable agreement. 94 00:04:54,546 --> 00:04:56,077 You're both right. 95 00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:56,918 Well, meeting adjourned, I guess. Hm-hm. 96 00:04:56,919 --> 00:04:57,557 This is good. 97 00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:59,455 I'm glad we all agree not to do this. 98 00:04:59,456 --> 00:05:02,508 Is gonna make it a lot easier for me to beat you. 99 00:05:04,813 --> 00:05:07,536 What the hell? 100 00:05:07,537 --> 00:05:09,911 They killed meeeeeee! 101 00:05:09,912 --> 00:05:10,828 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 102 00:05:10,829 --> 00:05:11,954 Don't do anything stupid. 103 00:05:11,955 --> 00:05:13,161 Do something stupid. 104 00:05:13,162 --> 00:05:13,953 I thought we weren't playing. 105 00:05:13,954 --> 00:05:14,745 Is this an alliance? 106 00:05:14,746 --> 00:05:15,328 I don't know, is it? 107 00:05:15,329 --> 00:05:17,240 Who's people? Cut the crap, Elroy. 108 00:05:17,241 --> 00:05:18,297 Stop that, what are you doing? 109 00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:20,745 Aah! Go back to class. 110 00:05:20,746 --> 00:05:22,661 Winger's playing paintball. 111 00:05:22,662 --> 00:05:24,245 No, he's not. 112 00:05:24,246 --> 00:05:25,286 Don't think about it, don't think about it. 113 00:05:25,287 --> 00:05:26,495 Don't do it. 114 00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:40,661 Grow up. 115 00:05:40,662 --> 00:05:41,536 What are you doing? 116 00:05:41,537 --> 00:05:42,870 I'm not playing. 117 00:05:42,871 --> 00:05:45,560 For a guy who's not playing, you sure are shooting a bunch of mothers. 118 00:05:45,561 --> 00:05:46,350 That was instinct. 119 00:05:46,351 --> 00:05:47,930 I can't help being a bad ass. 120 00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,930 But I am not playing. 121 00:05:49,931 --> 00:05:51,910 Okay, so let's make this painless. 122 00:05:51,911 --> 00:05:52,810 Take it easy. Leave her alone. 123 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:53,480 Stop it. 124 00:05:53,481 --> 00:05:54,730 Knock it off. 125 00:05:54,731 --> 00:05:55,890 Frankie is coming. 126 00:05:55,891 --> 00:05:57,495 What is important to you people? 127 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:04,745 Jeff Winger shot me. 128 00:06:04,746 --> 00:06:07,203 Do I use echo location to navigate? 129 00:06:07,204 --> 00:06:09,078 Why would you ask that after learning you aren't a bat? 130 00:06:09,079 --> 00:06:10,120 Hello. 131 00:06:10,121 --> 00:06:11,536 Hi, Frankie. 132 00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:12,078 Frankie. 133 00:06:12,079 --> 00:06:16,828 Yes, Jeff, student just passed by me and said you shot him with paint. 134 00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,953 Okay. 135 00:06:19,954 --> 00:06:22,578 So, you are definitely not playing paint ball? 136 00:06:22,579 --> 00:06:24,203 No. 137 00:06:24,204 --> 00:06:26,572 Frankie, I've been cool up until now, but I gotta tell you, 138 00:06:26,573 --> 00:06:29,370 I'm starting to get offended by your suspicion about this. 139 00:06:29,371 --> 00:06:31,550 Well. Well is a hole in the ground when you're thirsty. 140 00:06:31,551 --> 00:06:34,120 Oh. I'm telling you, I ain't playing no paintball. 141 00:06:34,121 --> 00:06:36,328 Boo hee haw, boo hew haw, bam. 142 00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:39,828 Okay, take it easy guys. 143 00:06:39,829 --> 00:06:42,900 And for what it's worth, thank you for teaching me the cool, 144 00:06:42,901 --> 00:06:45,988 new way to respond to people saying the word well. 145 00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:47,370 All right guys. 146 00:06:47,371 --> 00:06:49,995 Bye Franks take it easy. 147 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:54,703 Would you stop doing that? 148 00:06:54,704 --> 00:06:55,703 Don't hate the player. 149 00:06:55,704 --> 00:06:57,703 Colloquialisms aside, Annie's right. 150 00:06:57,704 --> 00:07:00,829 The thing to hate this year is the game. 151 00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:03,995 Can I show you all something? 152 00:07:03,996 --> 00:07:06,700 You know this game is being run anonymously through an online server, but 153 00:07:06,701 --> 00:07:07,232 who set it up? 154 00:07:07,233 --> 00:07:09,752 They haven't left a clue which is a really big clue because if they're this 155 00:07:09,753 --> 00:07:10,401 good at anything. 156 00:07:10,402 --> 00:07:11,423 Why are they here? 157 00:07:11,424 --> 00:07:15,580 Whoever's running this server is offering a huge cash prize to the winner. 158 00:07:15,581 --> 00:07:17,250 More evidence they don't go here. 159 00:07:17,251 --> 00:07:19,245 And they seem to have their own man in the game. 160 00:07:19,246 --> 00:07:22,870 You've probably heard about a mysterious player using silver paint balls. 161 00:07:22,871 --> 00:07:24,703 Well, look at these IP addresses. 162 00:07:24,704 --> 00:07:28,120 If that means what I think it means, we're dealing with gibberish. 163 00:07:28,121 --> 00:07:29,676 Those are mine. 164 00:07:29,677 --> 00:07:30,220 That's a student or 165 00:07:30,221 --> 00:07:33,420 teacher on this campus opening an encrypted tunnel to an off campus site. 166 00:07:33,421 --> 00:07:33,920 Big deal. 167 00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:34,810 I do that all the time. 168 00:07:34,811 --> 00:07:36,520 Oh, I save it all up for Saturday night. 169 00:07:36,521 --> 00:07:37,820 You're right, it's no big deal. 170 00:07:37,821 --> 00:07:40,260 Unless you always do it immediately before a paintball player is taken out 171 00:07:40,261 --> 00:07:43,490 with premium grade silver paintballs by an unknown shooter. 172 00:07:43,491 --> 00:07:47,970 And unless the IP that you're connecting to is this one. 173 00:07:47,971 --> 00:07:49,100 Aah, of course. 174 00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:50,870 So who's the Silver paintballs guy? 175 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:54,555 Spy, assassin, mercenary, bad person walking among us laughing, 176 00:07:54,556 --> 00:07:55,620 laughing quietly. 177 00:07:55,621 --> 00:07:57,703 And then if we look pretending that he was looking at something funny. 178 00:07:57,704 --> 00:08:01,953 I suppose you all should be in trouble. 179 00:08:01,954 --> 00:08:06,872 But desperate deans hm, but 180 00:08:06,873 --> 00:08:11,622 desperates, but des, but 181 00:08:11,623 --> 00:08:18,245 desperate deans call for Deansperate measures. 182 00:08:18,246 --> 00:08:23,578 From here on out, you work for me. 183 00:08:23,579 --> 00:08:25,762 Everything you're saying just proves my point, 184 00:08:25,763 --> 00:08:28,400 that the only way to lose this game is to play it. 185 00:08:28,401 --> 00:08:30,650 And I say we do the honest thing, and tell Frankie. 186 00:08:30,651 --> 00:08:33,200 The school's playing and losing already, Frankie included. 187 00:08:33,201 --> 00:08:34,830 If the people in this room play to win, 188 00:08:34,831 --> 00:08:36,490 we can not only take City College's money. 189 00:08:36,491 --> 00:08:39,990 We can expose Silverballs, and, in turn, City College, and save Greendale. 190 00:08:39,991 --> 00:08:41,910 Which is basically saving Frankie. 191 00:08:41,911 --> 00:08:45,430 All right, so we lay low, and we try to find out who Silverballs is. 192 00:08:45,431 --> 00:08:48,030 But we're not, to be clear, we did not vote on that name. 193 00:08:48,031 --> 00:08:49,550 Here's a name you don't have to vote on. 194 00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:54,140 You just became the Secret Dean Force, The Dean Boys, 195 00:08:54,141 --> 00:08:56,610 Task Force Dean, His Dean, Secret People. 196 00:08:56,611 --> 00:08:58,358 I know the word Dean is in it. 197 00:08:58,359 --> 00:09:01,120 Because when the politicians fail, and the peace talks fall apart. 198 00:09:01,121 --> 00:09:04,040 When it seems like all is lost, and 199 00:09:04,041 --> 00:09:09,495 nobody really needs the Dean anymore because Frankie's here. 200 00:09:09,496 --> 00:09:10,661 That's when you go in. 201 00:09:10,662 --> 00:09:15,536 The last bastion of a bygone era when people respected me. 202 00:09:18,496 --> 00:09:26,786 Dean Force One. 203 00:09:26,787 --> 00:09:28,578 If you're gonna hang around, we could use some water. 204 00:09:28,579 --> 00:09:30,828 On it. 205 00:09:33,536 --> 00:09:36,620 Club Club, the last club I thought I'd ever join. 206 00:09:36,621 --> 00:09:39,078 Your target is a small time paintball munitions dealer. 207 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:44,286 All we know is he's a white male over 30 and his street name is Fun Dad. 208 00:09:44,287 --> 00:09:47,536 All right is everybody in this club ready to party the way they 209 00:09:47,537 --> 00:09:48,245 do in clubs? 210 00:09:51,703 --> 00:09:54,484 Connor stop horsing around with Billy and party. 211 00:09:54,485 --> 00:09:56,445 DJ might be the guy from MeowMeowBeenz. 212 00:09:56,446 --> 00:09:57,968 We need clean intelligence, Abed. 213 00:09:57,969 --> 00:09:59,176 No references, call backs. 214 00:09:59,177 --> 00:10:01,834 Excuse me good sir, if I could have the mic. 215 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:07,079 Attention shoppers there's a sale on partying in my pants aisle. 216 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,137 Everything in my pants must go. 217 00:10:09,138 --> 00:10:12,570 Well not everything, that doesn't, you know what I. 218 00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:13,080 Koogler? 219 00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:16,940 Aladdin. I thought your name was Fun Dad. 220 00:10:16,941 --> 00:10:17,500 No. 221 00:10:17,501 --> 00:10:19,020 That was easy. 222 00:10:19,021 --> 00:10:19,790 I need ammunition. 223 00:10:19,791 --> 00:10:21,810 Are you a narc? Why would I answer that honestly? 224 00:10:21,811 --> 00:10:22,590 Good point. 225 00:10:22,591 --> 00:10:23,880 It's how most people answer, so. 226 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:25,890 Yeah, come on, it's a bad question. 227 00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:27,000 You just get so many narcs. 228 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:27,750 Hey don't forget. 229 00:10:27,751 --> 00:10:31,310 There's a sign up sheet on the back wall for Club Club Club. 230 00:10:31,311 --> 00:10:34,100 Listen, I'm so glad Omar that you're interested in paintball. 231 00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,130 Now I have to tell you, no shooting in here. 232 00:10:36,131 --> 00:10:38,930 The first rule of Club Club is that we are not a fight club. 233 00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:43,700 The second rule is that if you're a hot lady, you have to have sex with me. 234 00:10:43,701 --> 00:10:44,950 And then there's a bunch of rules and 235 00:10:44,951 --> 00:10:48,270 restriction that they've just now been adding because of the lawsuits based 236 00:10:48,271 --> 00:10:51,520 on that, second rule, which, I'm not allowed to call a rule. 237 00:10:51,521 --> 00:10:52,300 That was my screw up. 238 00:10:52,301 --> 00:10:53,722 Let me show you what I've got here. 239 00:10:53,723 --> 00:10:56,380 All right, these are blue travelers. 240 00:10:56,381 --> 00:11:00,740 I think I've got some sarcastic mellow yellows in here. 241 00:11:00,741 --> 00:11:01,410 Those are great. 242 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,340 And these are green meanies. 243 00:11:03,341 --> 00:11:06,930 They explode on contact, and they mark your target with paint. 244 00:11:06,931 --> 00:11:08,610 That's a description of every paint ball. 245 00:11:08,611 --> 00:11:10,130 Okay, so you know your stuff. 246 00:11:10,131 --> 00:11:11,350 Why don't I give you a pro discount? 247 00:11:11,351 --> 00:11:14,959 I'm thinking something more exotic, something in silver? 248 00:11:17,768 --> 00:11:20,578 Yeah, okay, great. 249 00:11:20,579 --> 00:11:21,948 I think that's a great idea, you know? 250 00:11:28,428 --> 00:11:29,300 You want to stay in the game? 251 00:11:29,301 --> 00:11:29,820 Talk. 252 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:32,610 Okay, look. 253 00:11:32,611 --> 00:11:34,130 If you're a narc, you can't play. 254 00:11:34,131 --> 00:11:39,532 And if you're playing, I do accept sex for ammo. 255 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,320 Or beer, right? 256 00:11:41,321 --> 00:11:42,250 But not Bitcoin. 257 00:11:42,251 --> 00:11:43,250 I mean, I believe in it. 258 00:11:43,251 --> 00:11:46,580 I just, I think I feel like I need it to stabilize. 259 00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:49,260 Who is Silver Man? 260 00:11:49,261 --> 00:11:50,435 My accountant? 261 00:11:50,436 --> 00:11:51,150 Oh, how do you know David? 262 00:11:51,151 --> 00:11:52,220 You know what I mean. 263 00:11:52,221 --> 00:11:53,440 Who buys the silver ammo? 264 00:11:53,441 --> 00:11:57,401 Oh, look, if i tell you that, I'm pretendsies dead. 265 00:12:08,476 --> 00:12:11,059 Koogler? We got him. 266 00:12:11,060 --> 00:12:13,032 That's good. 267 00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,045 Then he wont be needing this. 268 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,385 Koogler's thumb drive is actually a hardware encryption key. 269 00:12:20,386 --> 00:12:23,160 Hm, can it be unencrypted? 270 00:12:23,161 --> 00:12:25,340 No, you use it to decrypt something encrypted. 271 00:12:25,341 --> 00:12:27,260 A key with a lock on it. 272 00:12:27,261 --> 00:12:28,700 I'll give our enemy this. 273 00:12:28,701 --> 00:12:29,380 They're clever. 274 00:12:30,590 --> 00:12:31,500 Why did they pair us together? 275 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,050 Look, a message chain between Koogler and Silverballs. 276 00:12:36,051 --> 00:12:38,260 Now he's ordering a huge batch of ammo, and 277 00:12:38,261 --> 00:12:41,200 stressing that he needs it before the Cleaner Greendale Gala. 278 00:12:41,201 --> 00:12:43,690 City College is - Whoa! 279 00:12:43,691 --> 00:12:46,940 Oh! City College is going to crash Frankie's Gala. 280 00:12:46,941 --> 00:12:50,600 And here's where Silverballs decides on silver balls. 281 00:12:50,601 --> 00:12:55,120 Which color will look coolest against a navy blue jumpsuit? 282 00:12:55,121 --> 00:12:57,150 Who wears a jumpsuit to a black tie gala? 283 00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,810 The guest of honor. 284 00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,380 Is your Internet not working? 285 00:13:03,381 --> 00:13:04,250 It's one photo. 286 00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:05,231 It's taking an hour. 287 00:13:05,232 --> 00:13:09,711 You have keystrokes programmed to, eesh, that's dorky. 288 00:13:09,712 --> 00:13:12,381 Looks like we'll be renting formal wear. 289 00:13:12,382 --> 00:13:13,973 I'll measure Jeffrey. 290 00:13:19,103 --> 00:13:21,850 Mister Winger, you clean up nice. 291 00:13:21,851 --> 00:13:23,090 Oh, come on. I'm always good looking. 292 00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,340 This seems ambitious. 293 00:13:26,341 --> 00:13:31,080 Well, the monorail is more symbolic of our potential than it is potential, 294 00:13:31,081 --> 00:13:33,260 and none of our buildings will ever be shaped like this. 295 00:13:33,261 --> 00:13:35,830 But with a little work, this is how we could feel. 296 00:13:35,831 --> 00:13:37,818 You should be proud. 297 00:13:37,819 --> 00:13:41,810 Thank you, Jeff, for supporting this. 298 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:44,220 Why is that in your ear? 299 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:48,269 Oh, I'm raising awareness of Armenian American stereotypes. 300 00:13:48,270 --> 00:13:49,390 Bale to belfry. 301 00:13:49,391 --> 00:13:50,740 Let's check in. 302 00:13:50,741 --> 00:13:55,800 Should stereotypes have their awareness raised, I? 303 00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:56,650 Oh, good lord. 304 00:13:56,651 --> 00:13:57,780 I'm questioning you again. 305 00:13:57,781 --> 00:13:58,430 Why? 306 00:13:58,431 --> 00:14:00,690 Follow your bliss, sir. 307 00:14:00,691 --> 00:14:01,380 You've earned it. 308 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,680 Keaton to belfry, I need to just all make sure we are very, 309 00:14:05,681 --> 00:14:06,640 very careful here. 310 00:14:06,641 --> 00:14:07,200 Bale to Keaton, 311 00:14:07,201 --> 00:14:09,720 why don't you set a good example by keeping your mind on the mission? 312 00:14:10,790 --> 00:14:11,700 And your eyes on the prize. 313 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:14,760 Prize is secure. 314 00:14:14,761 --> 00:14:15,260 Keaton out. 315 00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:17,710 West to belfry. 316 00:14:17,711 --> 00:14:19,310 Entrances secure. 317 00:14:19,311 --> 00:14:21,120 Keaton to Kilmer, status. 318 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,680 Kilmer to Belfry, I'm currently examining a spoon, 319 00:14:23,681 --> 00:14:25,600 only I'm not really examining it. 320 00:14:25,601 --> 00:14:29,870 I'm using it was cover while watching a somewhat suspicious waiter. 321 00:14:29,871 --> 00:14:31,360 Voice of Diedrich Bader to belfry. 322 00:14:31,361 --> 00:14:33,450 I've checked the custodial wing for the third time. 323 00:14:33,451 --> 00:14:35,290 Can I come join the mission now? 324 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:36,560 Negative voice of Diedrich Bader. 325 00:14:36,561 --> 00:14:38,170 Continue to check the custodial wing, 326 00:14:38,171 --> 00:14:41,340 and then check the parameter of the inside of your office. 327 00:14:41,341 --> 00:14:41,840 Okay. 328 00:14:44,590 --> 00:14:46,600 And for the record, I feel very vulnerable without a gun. 329 00:14:46,601 --> 00:14:50,690 Ugh, I know that someone plays in this thing. 330 00:14:50,691 --> 00:14:53,656 Hey there, Dean. 331 00:14:53,657 --> 00:14:54,945 We need a custodian. 332 00:14:54,946 --> 00:14:57,562 Dean. 333 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,497 Dean. 334 00:14:58,498 --> 00:14:59,809 Dean. 335 00:14:59,810 --> 00:15:00,767 Dean. 336 00:15:13,701 --> 00:15:15,931 Clooney to belfry I've got a bogey with a gun. 337 00:15:15,932 --> 00:15:16,987 Excuse me. 338 00:15:16,988 --> 00:15:19,837 I wasn't talking to you, I was ordering dinner. 339 00:15:19,838 --> 00:15:27,334 Yes hello can I get a bogey with a gun no pickles and three orders of gun. 340 00:15:27,335 --> 00:15:29,563 Damn it. 341 00:15:29,564 --> 00:15:32,065 Clooney slooped the bogey, now he's headed for the kitchen. 342 00:15:32,066 --> 00:15:35,716 Should we go? 343 00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:37,390 Negative, we don't know it's our man. 344 00:15:37,391 --> 00:15:41,511 Kilmer, Clooney do nothing unless you can do it quietly and calmly. 345 00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:43,944 Whoa, what the hell? 346 00:15:43,945 --> 00:15:44,541 No. Nothing. 347 00:15:44,542 --> 00:15:45,777 Are you ready? 348 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,947 Yes. 349 00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:50,549 Clooney to Kilmer. 350 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,060 What? Should I come in now? 351 00:15:52,061 --> 00:15:55,972 No, no you can't ever come in ever, you're sloppy. 352 00:15:55,973 --> 00:15:58,408 Excuse me can I have a word with you? 353 00:15:58,409 --> 00:15:59,453 About what? 354 00:16:02,563 --> 00:16:06,930 Well, there's been some reports about a paintball game on campus. 355 00:16:06,931 --> 00:16:09,641 Oh yeah, you better believe the kitchen boys are playing and 356 00:16:09,642 --> 00:16:11,463 this year we got a new winning strategy. 357 00:16:11,464 --> 00:16:14,144 Let the idiots come to you. 358 00:16:14,145 --> 00:16:20,913 Oh really, oh Britta you can come in now. 359 00:16:22,266 --> 00:16:23,351 Oh! 360 00:16:28,725 --> 00:16:29,498 Boom boom! 361 00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:33,241 Oh! 362 00:16:41,697 --> 00:16:43,084 Oh! 363 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,895 Oh! Oh! 364 00:16:45,896 --> 00:16:46,395 I'm sorry! 365 00:16:49,753 --> 00:16:51,270 Agh. 366 00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:58,536 Oh! Agh! 367 00:16:58,537 --> 00:17:03,257 I stand before you one of Greendale's biggest perpetrators of paint related 368 00:17:03,258 --> 00:17:07,628 mayhem and I am happy to say that those days are fully behind our school. 369 00:17:07,629 --> 00:17:11,684 Looking back on those dark days, it's clear that the only heroes were 370 00:17:11,685 --> 00:17:15,213 the janitors and the custodians left to clean up our messes. 371 00:17:17,273 --> 00:17:20,026 Oh! 372 00:17:20,027 --> 00:17:20,624 Ow! 373 00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:22,835 Oh, ow! 374 00:17:22,836 --> 00:17:24,152 Ow! 375 00:17:24,153 --> 00:17:24,757 Oh. 376 00:17:24,758 --> 00:17:26,393 Oh. 377 00:17:34,414 --> 00:17:38,450 So it is with great shame and poetic irony that I present 378 00:17:38,451 --> 00:17:43,027 the custodial innovation award to Vice Custodian, Lapari. 379 00:17:47,055 --> 00:17:47,857 What the hell are you doing in there? 380 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:48,762 Jeff, focus. 381 00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:49,546 You all right, man? 382 00:17:49,547 --> 00:17:51,148 Yes. It wasn't our guy. 383 00:17:51,149 --> 00:17:53,226 The assassin is not in the kitchen. 384 00:17:53,227 --> 00:17:54,010 He's still at large. 385 00:17:54,011 --> 00:17:59,548 And now let's all enact what I hope will become a yearly tradition, 386 00:17:59,549 --> 00:18:01,985 the popping of the balloons. 387 00:18:01,986 --> 00:18:02,629 What? 388 00:18:02,630 --> 00:18:10,587 And Stay calm, check your zones. 389 00:18:12,048 --> 00:18:15,560 Who's that? 390 00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:16,200 Where? 391 00:18:16,201 --> 00:18:16,978 Where? 392 00:18:16,979 --> 00:18:18,296 I don't see anything. 393 00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:19,155 Him. 394 00:18:23,461 --> 00:18:23,961 Oh! 395 00:18:45,507 --> 00:18:46,007 Sorry. 396 00:18:56,601 --> 00:18:58,540 It's the custodians. 397 00:18:58,541 --> 00:19:02,560 Greendale's custodial staff is running the underground paintball tournament 398 00:19:02,561 --> 00:19:05,110 probably with City College money. 399 00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:08,220 The people that clean Greendale don't want a cleaner Greendale, 400 00:19:08,221 --> 00:19:12,030 they want Greendale to be afraid of itself and reliant on them. 401 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,010 Oh, what an exciting story. 402 00:19:16,011 --> 00:19:18,350 We're got a real life M Night Shamalyan here. 403 00:19:18,351 --> 00:19:19,350 It's Shyamalan. 404 00:19:19,351 --> 00:19:25,450 Unfortunately, as with his stories I don't anticipate yours holding up. 405 00:19:25,451 --> 00:19:26,300 Easy target. 406 00:19:26,301 --> 00:19:28,100 Who's heckling me? 407 00:19:28,101 --> 00:19:29,910 Oh, of course, it's the Indian guy. 408 00:19:29,911 --> 00:19:30,510 I'm Arabic. 409 00:19:30,511 --> 00:19:33,640 Ow, okay, let's go with that. 410 00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:38,150 Anyway, you know what goes great with crazy stories? 411 00:19:38,151 --> 00:19:40,040 Evidence. You're the evidence. 412 00:19:40,041 --> 00:19:44,190 Come back to our side and tell the truth, so City College can be exposed. 413 00:19:44,191 --> 00:19:46,830 Or I could leave and get a job at City College, 414 00:19:46,831 --> 00:19:50,610 where their pay phones aren't only herpe-free, they're actually removed. 415 00:19:50,611 --> 00:19:52,560 You think City College will take you if you lose their 416 00:19:52,561 --> 00:19:53,501 paintball prize money? 417 00:19:53,502 --> 00:19:56,824 I don't know how many men you have left in your game, but 418 00:19:56,825 --> 00:20:00,314 if you're leaving this room, it needs to be a small army. 419 00:20:00,315 --> 00:20:01,306 Oh! 420 00:20:01,307 --> 00:20:01,806 Mm. 421 00:20:05,759 --> 00:20:08,064 Okay. I agree. 422 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:19,546 Annie look 423 00:20:19,547 --> 00:20:23,185 out. 424 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:26,620 Oh. 425 00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:31,933 An eye for an eye. 426 00:20:35,556 --> 00:20:38,295 Oh. 427 00:20:38,296 --> 00:20:39,712 Aah! 428 00:20:42,614 --> 00:20:43,357 Oh! 429 00:20:43,358 --> 00:20:45,691 No! 430 00:20:45,692 --> 00:20:50,996 No! 431 00:20:55,124 --> 00:20:55,624 Aah! 432 00:20:57,174 --> 00:20:58,452 Ow! 433 00:20:58,453 --> 00:21:02,869 We're the last ones left? 434 00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:03,750 Cover me. 435 00:21:03,751 --> 00:21:05,510 Oh, dreams do come true! 436 00:21:12,301 --> 00:21:13,219 Okay, we got him. 437 00:21:13,220 --> 00:21:14,310 He went into a supply closet. 438 00:21:14,311 --> 00:21:14,885 I know. 439 00:21:14,886 --> 00:21:17,427 I guess to a custodian, a supply closet is like a location. 440 00:21:24,432 --> 00:21:26,791 I'm actually relieved. I thought this was gonna be a whole gauntlet. 441 00:21:26,792 --> 00:21:28,240 My heart was not in it. 442 00:21:28,241 --> 00:21:29,910 I mean, I shot a disabled kid. 443 00:21:29,911 --> 00:21:30,860 I can't do this anymore. 444 00:21:30,861 --> 00:21:32,319 What are you looking at? 445 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:33,707 This isn't a closet. 446 00:21:47,948 --> 00:21:50,004 Oh, it's really nice of you guys to visit, 447 00:21:50,005 --> 00:21:52,458 not that you ever would have done it intentionally. 448 00:21:55,233 --> 00:21:56,708 Your steamy pipes can't stop us. 449 00:21:56,709 --> 00:22:00,530 Well, it would be a pretty bad museum exhibit if it could. 450 00:22:01,970 --> 00:22:03,280 Give it up, Lapari. 451 00:22:03,281 --> 00:22:05,180 Hey Dean, I have a microphone. 452 00:22:05,181 --> 00:22:06,260 You have a beer. 453 00:22:06,261 --> 00:22:06,760 God has a plan. 454 00:22:09,472 --> 00:22:10,302 I have a beer? 455 00:22:10,303 --> 00:22:12,390 It's an old stand up line for using up hecklers. 456 00:22:12,391 --> 00:22:12,890 Keep moving. 457 00:22:14,210 --> 00:22:15,140 Did you do stand up? 458 00:22:16,610 --> 00:22:18,000 Is that how you became a custodian? 459 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:22,220 Listen man, I was there in the 90s. 460 00:22:22,221 --> 00:22:24,550 I did a few open mic nights. 461 00:22:24,551 --> 00:22:26,650 I saw what karaoke did. 462 00:22:26,651 --> 00:22:29,550 It wasn't cool man. 463 00:22:29,551 --> 00:22:32,667 We're not so different, you and I, Dean. 464 00:22:32,668 --> 00:22:35,419 Don't you see we're both in the same situation? 465 00:22:35,420 --> 00:22:38,548 Oh, you gotta be kidding me. 466 00:22:41,874 --> 00:22:42,715 Screw it. Shoot them all. 467 00:22:42,716 --> 00:22:43,616 One of them is him. 468 00:22:43,617 --> 00:22:44,474 Shoot every single one. 469 00:22:52,793 --> 00:22:53,373 He's not back here. 470 00:22:53,374 --> 00:22:54,320 Okay. 471 00:22:54,321 --> 00:22:54,987 Reload. 472 00:22:54,988 --> 00:22:58,620 Must be a mock jousting bridge over sawdust canyon. 473 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:02,400 We're both dinosaurs roaring in vain at the mammals. 474 00:23:02,401 --> 00:23:05,700 What do you think was gonna happen when you let Frankie Dart 475 00:23:05,701 --> 00:23:07,550 into our world? 476 00:23:07,551 --> 00:23:11,230 How much more clean can she make the school before she notices 477 00:23:11,231 --> 00:23:12,630 the dirtiest thing of all about it. 478 00:23:14,290 --> 00:23:16,560 You think I'm a villain, but I'm not. 479 00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:20,890 I'm defending a place where we all get to be our own heroes. 480 00:23:20,891 --> 00:23:24,911 We're all here because none of us can have nice things. 481 00:23:24,912 --> 00:23:27,427 I thought you guys were mannequins! 482 00:23:27,428 --> 00:23:29,226 What a backfire! 483 00:23:29,227 --> 00:23:30,700 Is the money real? 484 00:23:31,930 --> 00:23:32,730 No mater who wins? 485 00:23:34,220 --> 00:23:34,959 Dean, what are you doing? 486 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,460 What are you thinking about? 487 00:23:38,461 --> 00:23:39,460 I don't know, I don't know. 488 00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:41,160 He's right, Jeffrey. 489 00:23:41,161 --> 00:23:44,880 A cleaner Greendale is like a healthier cigarette. 490 00:23:44,881 --> 00:23:45,810 Yes, a carrot stick. 491 00:23:45,811 --> 00:23:47,420 Frankie can make us a carrot stick. 492 00:23:47,421 --> 00:23:48,610 We're tobacco. 493 00:23:48,611 --> 00:23:50,080 No, we are not tobacco. 494 00:23:50,081 --> 00:23:51,550 We are Robert Downey Jr, 495 00:23:51,551 --> 00:23:54,100 he was so high he was crawling into people's windows. 496 00:23:54,101 --> 00:23:55,108 Now he's Iron Man. 497 00:23:55,109 --> 00:23:58,870 We self destruct like this because we'd rather be heroes than villains than 498 00:23:58,871 --> 00:24:03,010 just kind of sucky people, that need to work a lot at getting less sucky. 499 00:24:03,011 --> 00:24:04,570 She will forgive us. 500 00:24:04,571 --> 00:24:08,630 I know her, I like her, and if she fires either of you, I'll quit. 501 00:24:08,631 --> 00:24:11,810 She's not the enemy, she can help us. 502 00:24:11,811 --> 00:24:12,438 We just have to cool it. 503 00:24:15,619 --> 00:24:18,022 It's true, what he said. 504 00:24:18,023 --> 00:24:22,603 If you guys lower your guns, I'm not gonna throw you a party, but 505 00:24:22,604 --> 00:24:25,619 I'm not going to get anyone fired either. 506 00:24:33,795 --> 00:24:36,257 I'll see you Monday, idiots. 507 00:24:38,081 --> 00:24:42,096 So who wins? 508 00:24:42,097 --> 00:24:42,885 What do we -. Okay, 509 00:24:42,886 --> 00:24:45,754 on the count of three we're gonna shoot ourselves in the foot. 510 00:24:49,875 --> 00:24:57,421 One, two. 511 00:24:57,422 --> 00:24:58,212 Ow. 512 00:25:08,045 --> 00:25:13,082 I'll see you guys on Monday. 513 00:25:13,083 --> 00:25:18,201 And the Pope looks at the giraffe and says I'm in the room. 514 00:25:18,202 --> 00:25:19,710 Sorry I can't remember the whole joke. 515 00:25:19,711 --> 00:25:22,910 That's okay it sounds very funny based on the last line. 516 00:25:22,911 --> 00:25:24,790 Frankie's gonna be here soon we should get ready. 517 00:25:24,791 --> 00:25:27,260 We're not seriously still doing this are we? 518 00:25:27,261 --> 00:25:30,330 We promised everyday for a week do we want her to quit? 519 00:25:33,260 --> 00:25:35,240 Good morning everyone. 520 00:25:35,241 --> 00:25:36,240 Wah. 521 00:25:38,250 --> 00:25:40,500 So, where did we leave off last time? 522 00:25:40,501 --> 00:25:41,220 Hm. Yes, sir. 523 00:25:43,050 --> 00:25:44,470 I like big trucks. 524 00:25:44,471 --> 00:25:46,000 I saw a fire truck today. 525 00:25:46,001 --> 00:25:46,690 Interesting point. 526 00:25:46,691 --> 00:25:47,830 Would anyone care to comment? 527 00:25:47,831 --> 00:25:48,630 Elroy? 528 00:25:48,631 --> 00:25:50,060 I made a stinky. 529 00:25:50,061 --> 00:25:51,130 Worth considering. 530 00:25:51,131 --> 00:25:51,940 Next item? 531 00:25:51,941 --> 00:25:53,390 How do you pronounce pasketti? 532 00:25:53,391 --> 00:25:54,040 Spaghetti. 533 00:25:54,041 --> 00:25:54,800 What else? 534 00:25:54,801 --> 00:25:55,760 Can we go to the zoo? 535 00:25:55,761 --> 00:25:57,690 Well, that raises a very important point. 536 00:25:57,691 --> 00:26:02,430 We can do anything we want if, and this is very important, if we grow up. 537 00:26:02,431 --> 00:26:03,450 All in favor? 538 00:26:03,451 --> 00:26:03,950 Wah. 539 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,270 Then she starts singing about all the places she's been. 540 00:26:09,271 --> 00:26:11,350 Which, by the way, seems to be a total of two. 541 00:26:11,351 --> 00:26:14,278 One of which is old DC. 542 00:26:14,279 --> 00:26:16,103 Old DC. 543 00:26:16,104 --> 00:26:21,352 Okay fine, Vicki, you're a music major, not a history major. 544 00:26:21,353 --> 00:26:24,240 And the whole mother thing, I mean the two big feathers in her cap are that 545 00:26:24,241 --> 00:26:28,370 she hasn't let anything change her, a triumph she shared with most animals, 546 00:26:28,371 --> 00:26:32,290 and all dirt, and the fact that her mother died, 547 00:26:32,291 --> 00:26:36,390 which is like one thing all mother's do. 548 00:26:36,391 --> 00:26:37,163 I mean, was she a good mother? 549 00:26:37,164 --> 00:26:38,255 Did she collect stamps? 550 00:26:38,256 --> 00:26:39,183 Did she race cars? 551 00:26:39,184 --> 00:26:40,262 We don't know! 552 00:26:40,263 --> 00:26:44,121 We don't know her name, I think if you ask Vicki the color of her mother's 553 00:26:44,122 --> 00:26:45,565 eyes, she would say dead. 554 00:26:45,566 --> 00:26:49,740 Or, maybe she would say $7 a seat. 555 00:26:49,741 --> 00:26:51,240 It's bad man, I am telling you. 556 00:26:51,241 --> 00:26:53,980 Nobody is safe, nobody is safe. 557 00:26:55,190 --> 00:26:55,690 Blue. 558 00:27:04,314 --> 00:27:06,350 They were a very pale shade of blue. 559 00:27:09,085 --> 00:27:11,670 I'm sorry my show didn't honor her memory properly. 560 00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:13,800 I'll try to make it up to you. 561 00:27:15,982 --> 00:27:21,492 Actually we both will a, a, at the premier of our new show. 562 00:27:21,493 --> 00:27:27,522 Vicki and Garrett. 563 00:27:27,523 --> 00:27:29,130 Let's have a hand for Vicki's mother everybody. 564 00:27:29,131 --> 00:27:29,751 Stand up Connie. 565 00:27:29,752 --> 00:27:32,735 Vicki's mother, Vicki's mother! 566 00:27:32,736 --> 00:27:33,235 Boo! 567 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:37,420 We'd rather you boo. 568 00:27:37,421 --> 00:27:39,300 It means you felt something. 569 00:27:39,301 --> 00:27:39,960 That's right. 570 00:27:39,961 --> 00:27:40,810 You can boo. 571 00:27:40,811 --> 00:27:42,675 And, Andy Kaufman loved booing. 572 00:27:42,676 --> 00:27:45,790 Mm-hm. 573 00:27:45,791 --> 00:27:49,116 Then again, we did put a fair share of work into this. 574 00:27:49,117 --> 00:27:50,451 Like, you don't have to be dicks. 575 00:28:25,545 --> 00:28:26,497 Did you get any of that? 576 00:28:30,677 --> 00:28:34,130 Yahoo!