1
00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:06,089
From the marble steps of old DC
to the sun soaked Tampa coast.
2
00:00:08,768 --> 00:00:12,262
I have been to every place
where you can find a human race
3
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:15,140
but I have been Vicki the most!
4
00:00:15,797 --> 00:00:19,776
I'm gonna go get a shovel,
because theater is dead.
5
00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:30,946
Hi Starburns.
6
00:00:31,705 --> 00:00:35,393
Todd, you know you don't have to
creep around to be weird, right?
7
00:00:35,518 --> 00:00:36,745
You're weird at picnics.
8
00:00:37,123 --> 00:00:39,039
Did you hear about
the paintball game?
9
00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,750
Yeah, I heard there was no paintball.
I heard it was banned.
10
00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:43,968
You can't believe
everything you hear.
11
00:00:44,093 --> 00:00:46,142
Okay, you just asked
if I heard something
12
00:00:46,267 --> 00:00:47,881
and now you're invalidating
the whole.
13
00:01:36,095 --> 00:01:38,098
Do you know why I beat you, Todd?
14
00:01:39,279 --> 00:01:42,769
Seriously, you don't?
Cuz I don't either, but that was insane.
15
00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:44,354
I'm 50, here.
16
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,941
I think I could win this year.
I think I can go all the way.
17
00:01:48,107 --> 00:01:51,476
Actually,
you'll be settling for silver.
18
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:25,187
Resync for WEB-DL by Kyros
www.addic7ed.com
19
00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:30,275
Names, you give me names or
you're expelled, that simple.
20
00:02:30,441 --> 00:02:33,615
I told ya, I don't know nothing
about no secret paintball games.
21
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:36,073
This is from huffing paint, I swear.
22
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:37,824
Escort Alex Osbourne off campus.
23
00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:40,272
Hey, hey, hey!
Hold your horse panties.
24
00:02:40,733 --> 00:02:42,370
You didn't tell me you knew my name.
25
00:02:42,777 --> 00:02:45,832
Look, I was about to take Todd
out, and then we both got shot.
26
00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:47,398
Guy was invisible.
27
00:02:47,523 --> 00:02:48,524
A ghost.
28
00:02:48,786 --> 00:02:50,253
Uses silver paint.
29
00:02:50,572 --> 00:02:52,255
A ghost?
So no name?
30
00:02:52,421 --> 00:02:54,901
I'd call him Silver Ghost,
but that's probably already taken
31
00:02:55,026 --> 00:02:57,010
by an indie comic book
or a terrible tequila.
32
00:02:57,301 --> 00:02:58,970
Bye forever Starburns.
33
00:02:59,136 --> 00:03:00,137
No.
34
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:02,057
Frankie?
35
00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:04,879
Dean, I respect that you are my boss,
so either fire me
36
00:03:05,004 --> 00:03:06,812
or let me handle this
and go to your office.
37
00:03:08,982 --> 00:03:11,483
I want to give your paintball
friends a message, Jeff.
38
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:12,818
Good morning.
39
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,633
This era is over.
40
00:03:14,758 --> 00:03:16,688
It was fun while it lasted,
but now mommy's home.
41
00:03:16,813 --> 00:03:19,839
Everybody with a gun
will be expelled or fired.
42
00:03:19,964 --> 00:03:20,904
Don't worry, Miss Dart.
43
00:03:21,029 --> 00:03:22,842
My boys and I will get
this cleaned up in no time.
44
00:03:22,967 --> 00:03:23,770
Thank you.
45
00:03:23,895 --> 00:03:25,539
Do you know Deputy Custodian Lapari.
46
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:28,847
Oh, we haven't had the pleasure
because Mr. Winger has caused me nothing
47
00:03:28,972 --> 00:03:30,877
but pain over the years
with his paint balling.
48
00:03:31,043 --> 00:03:33,004
I'm sorry. I quit that.
That's behind me.
49
00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:33,922
Sure it is.
50
00:03:35,776 --> 00:03:37,801
Handling turds has rubbed off on him.
51
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:40,875
Custodian Lapari is gonna be
honored this week at the Gala
52
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,394
for a Cleaner Greendale.
53
00:03:42,519 --> 00:03:44,599
- I'd like you to introduce him.
- Why would I do that?
54
00:03:44,765 --> 00:03:46,504
Because you're the de facto
leader of Greendale.
55
00:03:46,629 --> 00:03:49,521
And if you gave a speech coming out
against paintball, it might end it.
56
00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:50,495
No. No.
57
00:03:50,620 --> 00:03:52,658
Just because I'm not playing doesn't
mean I'm the weenie
58
00:03:52,783 --> 00:03:53,859
that tells people not to.
59
00:03:54,691 --> 00:03:55,692
Please?
60
00:03:56,020 --> 00:03:58,321
If not for Greendale, then for me?
61
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,055
I'll think about it.
62
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:08,930
- I was a different guy back then.
- Yeah. Two, never mind.
63
00:04:09,055 --> 00:04:10,292
Well, Frankie's upset.
64
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:12,418
Did she break up with someone?
Which gender?
65
00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:14,462
I don't care,
but everybody else does.
66
00:04:14,628 --> 00:04:16,047
She's upset about paintball.
67
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:17,457
Paint?
68
00:04:18,454 --> 00:04:19,259
Ball?
69
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,874
Occasionally our campus erupts into
a flawless, post modern, homage
70
00:04:21,999 --> 00:04:23,877
to action adventure mythology,
mischaracterized
71
00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:25,515
by the ignorant as parody.
72
00:04:25,681 --> 00:04:29,008
Apparently, now that Frankie's
declared it illegal,
73
00:04:29,133 --> 00:04:31,605
it's gone underground,
and is still happening as we speak.
74
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:35,108
Well maybe for freshman, but honestly
we've kind of done it to death, right?
75
00:04:35,274 --> 00:04:37,736
Done it? Nailed it?
I've won a few time now.
76
00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:40,262
Who keeps track of that?
Lame.
77
00:04:40,387 --> 00:04:42,240
I'm thinking mostly about Frankie.
78
00:04:42,406 --> 00:04:44,701
She's our friend, and she cares
about this school,
79
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:47,370
and I think it would break her heart
if she caught any of us
80
00:04:47,536 --> 00:04:48,914
undermining her goals.
81
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,082
- Yeah, I agree.
- A reasonable agreement.
82
00:04:51,248 --> 00:04:53,168
- You're both right.
- Meeting adjourned, I guess.
83
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,754
This is good.
I'm glad we all agree not to do this.
84
00:04:56,762 --> 00:04:59,591
Is gonna make it a lot
easier for me to beat you.
85
00:05:01,361 --> 00:05:02,552
What the hell?
86
00:05:03,935 --> 00:05:05,096
They killed me!
87
00:05:07,014 --> 00:05:09,226
- Don't do anything stupid.
- Do something stupid.
88
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,435
I thought we weren't playing.
89
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:11,561
- Is this an alliance?
- Is it?
90
00:05:11,727 --> 00:05:13,545
Who's people?
Cut the crap, Elroy.
91
00:05:13,670 --> 00:05:15,190
Stop that, what are you doing?
92
00:05:16,023 --> 00:05:17,108
Go back to class.
93
00:05:17,502 --> 00:05:18,777
Winger's playing paintball.
94
00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:20,028
No, he's not.
95
00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,363
Don't think about it.
96
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:22,364
Don't do it.
97
00:05:32,748 --> 00:05:33,749
Grow up.
98
00:05:37,088 --> 00:05:39,047
What are you doing?
I'm not playing.
99
00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:41,675
For a guy who's not playing, you
sure are shooting a bunch of mothers.
100
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:44,153
That was instinct.
I can't help being a bad ass.
101
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:46,012
But I am not playing.
102
00:05:46,178 --> 00:05:47,973
Okay, so let's make this painless.
103
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,349
- Take it easy.
- Leave her alone.
104
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:50,820
Knock it off.
105
00:05:50,945 --> 00:05:53,520
Frankie is coming.
What is important to you people?
106
00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:58,954
Jeff Winger shot me.
107
00:06:01,193 --> 00:06:03,446
Do I use echo location to navigate?
108
00:06:03,612 --> 00:06:05,365
Why would you ask that after
learning you aren't a bat?
109
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:08,326
- Hello.
- Hi, Frankie.
110
00:06:08,492 --> 00:06:12,747
Yes, Jeff, student just passed by me
and said you shot him with paint.
111
00:06:14,737 --> 00:06:15,709
Okay.
112
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,045
So, you are definitely
not playing paint ball?
113
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:20,342
No.
114
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:23,233
Frankie, I've been cool up until now,
but I gotta tell you,
115
00:06:23,358 --> 00:06:25,595
I'm starting to get offended
by your suspicion about this.
116
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,974
Well is a hole in the
ground when you're thirsty.
117
00:06:28,099 --> 00:06:30,432
I'm telling you,
I ain't playing no paintball.
118
00:06:32,531 --> 00:06:33,532
Okay.
119
00:06:34,556 --> 00:06:35,770
Take it easy guys.
120
00:06:35,936 --> 00:06:37,968
And for what it's worth,
thank you for teaching me
121
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:41,347
the cool, new way to respond to
people saying the word well.
122
00:06:42,575 --> 00:06:43,522
All right guys.
123
00:06:43,647 --> 00:06:46,872
Bye Franks take it easy.
124
00:06:49,378 --> 00:06:52,037
- Would you stop doing that?
- Don't hate the player.
125
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,830
Colloquialisms aside, Annie's right.
126
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,164
The thing to hate
this year is the game.
127
00:06:57,067 --> 00:06:58,902
Can I show you all something?
128
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,755
You know this game is being run
anonymously through an online server,
129
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:03,762
but who set it up?
130
00:07:03,887 --> 00:07:05,536
They haven't left a clue
which is a {*really }big clue
131
00:07:05,661 --> 00:07:07,927
- 'Cause if they're this good at anything.
- Why are they here?
132
00:07:08,481 --> 00:07:11,139
Whoever's running this server is
offering a huge cash prize to the winner.
133
00:07:11,705 --> 00:07:13,016
More evidence they don't go here.
134
00:07:13,390 --> 00:07:15,414
And they seem to have
their own man in the game.
135
00:07:15,539 --> 00:07:19,014
You've probably heard about a mysterious
player using silver paint balls.
136
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,946
Well, look at these IP addresses.
137
00:07:21,071 --> 00:07:22,609
If that means what I think it means,
138
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,418
we're dealing with gibberish.
139
00:07:24,543 --> 00:07:25,774
Those are mine.
140
00:07:25,899 --> 00:07:27,490
That's a student or teacher
on this campus
141
00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,574
opening an encrypted tunnel
to an off campus site.
142
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:30,867
Big deal.
I do that all the time.
143
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:33,703
- I save it all up for Saturday night.
- You're right, it's no big deal.
144
00:07:33,869 --> 00:07:36,684
Unless you always do it immediately
before a paintball player is taken out
145
00:07:36,809 --> 00:07:39,570
with premium grade silver paintballs
by an unknown shooter.
146
00:07:39,695 --> 00:07:42,379
And unless the IP that you're
connecting to is this one.
147
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,633
- Of course.
- So who's the Silver paintballs guy?
148
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,008
Spy, assassin, mercenary,
149
00:07:49,133 --> 00:07:51,972
bad person walking among us laughing,
laughing quietly.
150
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:54,307
And then if we look pretending that
he was looking at something funny.
151
00:07:54,473 --> 00:07:56,393
I suppose you all
should be in trouble.
152
00:07:58,208 --> 00:07:59,687
But desperate deans...
153
00:08:02,937 --> 00:08:04,290
but desperate...
154
00:08:11,776 --> 00:08:14,372
but desperate deans call
for Deansperate measures.
155
00:08:14,497 --> 00:08:17,664
From here on out, you work for me.
156
00:08:19,909 --> 00:08:21,709
Everything you're saying
just proves my point,
157
00:08:21,875 --> 00:08:24,501
that the only way to lose
this game is to play it.
158
00:08:24,626 --> 00:08:26,714
And I say we do the honest thing,
and tell Frankie.
159
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,195
The school's playing and losing
already, Frankie included.
160
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:30,970
If the people in this
room play to win,
161
00:08:31,095 --> 00:08:32,914
we can not only take
City College's money.
162
00:08:33,039 --> 00:08:36,307
We can expose Silverballs, and, in turn,
City College, and save Greendale.
163
00:08:36,473 --> 00:08:37,976
Which is basically saving Frankie.
164
00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:41,563
All right, so we lay low, and we
try to find out who Silverballs is.
165
00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:44,107
But we're not, to be clear,
we did not vote on that name.
166
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:46,167
Here's a name you
don't have to vote on.
167
00:08:46,723 --> 00:08:50,235
You just became the Secret Dean Force,
The Dean Boys,
168
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,710
Task Force Dean,
His Dean, Secret People.
169
00:08:52,835 --> 00:08:54,246
I know the word Dean is in it.
170
00:08:54,371 --> 00:08:57,287
Because when the politicians fail,
and the peace talks fall apart.
171
00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,503
When it seems like all is lost,
172
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:04,646
and nobody really needs the Dean
anymore because Frankie's here.
173
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,213
That's when you go in.
174
00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:11,066
The last bastion of a bygone
era when people respected me.
175
00:09:16,374 --> 00:09:18,809
Dean Force One.
176
00:09:22,804 --> 00:09:24,851
If you're gonna hang around,
we could use some water.
177
00:09:24,976 --> 00:09:25,977
On it.
178
00:09:29,932 --> 00:09:32,895
Club Club, the last club
I thought I'd ever join.
179
00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:35,498
Your target is a small time
paintball munitions dealer.
180
00:09:35,623 --> 00:09:39,960
All we know is he's a white male over
30 and his street name is Fun Dad.
181
00:09:40,674 --> 00:09:42,336
All right is everybody in this club
182
00:09:42,461 --> 00:09:45,251
ready to party
the way they do in clubs?
183
00:09:48,308 --> 00:09:51,049
Connor stop horsing around
with Billy and party.
184
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:52,926
DJ might be the guy
from MeowMeowBeenz.
185
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,719
We need clean intelligence, Abed.
186
00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:56,629
No references, call backs.
187
00:09:56,754 --> 00:09:59,086
Excuse me good sir,
if I could have the mic.
188
00:09:59,211 --> 00:10:03,885
Attention shoppers there's a sale
on partying in my pants aisle.
189
00:10:04,527 --> 00:10:06,128
Everything in my pants must go.
190
00:10:06,253 --> 00:10:09,067
Well not everything, that
doesn't, you know what I.
191
00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:10,344
Koogler?
192
00:10:10,774 --> 00:10:13,154
- Aladdin.
- I thought your name was Fun Dad.
193
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:16,199
That was easy.
I need ammunition.
194
00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:18,201
- Are you a narc?
- Why would I answer that honestly?
195
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:20,841
Good point.
It's how most people answer, so.
196
00:10:21,745 --> 00:10:23,456
Come on, it's a bad question.
You just get so many narcs.
197
00:10:23,622 --> 00:10:24,536
Don't forget.
198
00:10:24,661 --> 00:10:27,418
There's a sign up sheet on the
back wall for Club Club Club.
199
00:10:27,584 --> 00:10:30,588
Listen, I'm so glad Omar that
you're interested in paintball.
200
00:10:30,754 --> 00:10:32,611
Now I have to tell you,
no shooting in here.
201
00:10:32,736 --> 00:10:35,593
The first rule of Club Club is
that we are not a fight club.
202
00:10:35,759 --> 00:10:38,121
The second rule is
that if you're a hot lady
203
00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:40,098
you have to have sex with me.
204
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:41,932
And then there's a bunch of rules
and restriction
205
00:10:42,057 --> 00:10:44,751
that they've just now been adding
because of the lawsuits based
206
00:10:44,876 --> 00:10:48,001
on that, second rule, which,
I'm not allowed to call a rule.
207
00:10:48,126 --> 00:10:50,066
That was my screw up.
Let me show you what I've got here.
208
00:10:50,585 --> 00:10:52,727
All right, these are blue travelers.
209
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:57,056
I think I've got some sarcastic
mellow yellows in here.
210
00:10:57,181 --> 00:10:58,074
Those are great.
211
00:10:58,508 --> 00:10:59,821
And these are green meanies.
212
00:10:59,946 --> 00:11:03,329
They explode on contact,
and they mark your target with paint.
213
00:11:03,495 --> 00:11:05,039
That's a description
of every paint ball.
214
00:11:05,205 --> 00:11:07,959
Okay, so you know your stuff.
Why don't I give you a pro discount?
215
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:11,782
I'm thinking something more exotic,
something in silver?
216
00:11:14,373 --> 00:11:17,059
Yeah, okay, great.
217
00:11:17,184 --> 00:11:19,012
I think that's a great idea,
you know?
218
00:11:24,931 --> 00:11:27,258
You want to stay in the game?
Talk.
219
00:11:28,061 --> 00:11:29,091
Okay, look.
220
00:11:29,216 --> 00:11:31,107
If you're a narc, you can't play.
221
00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:34,902
And if you're playing,
I do accept sex for ammo.
222
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:37,629
Or beer, right?
223
00:11:37,754 --> 00:11:39,731
But not Bitcoin.
I mean, I believe in it.
224
00:11:39,856 --> 00:11:41,909
I just, I think I feel
like I need it to stabilize.
225
00:11:42,075 --> 00:11:45,538
Who is Silver Man?
226
00:11:45,704 --> 00:11:47,832
My accountant?
Oh, how do you know David?
227
00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:50,084
You know what I mean.
Who buys the silver ammo?
228
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:54,002
Oh, look, if i tell you that,
I'm pretendsies dead.
229
00:12:05,081 --> 00:12:06,815
- Koogler?
- We got him.
230
00:12:07,599 --> 00:12:08,699
That's good.
231
00:12:09,638 --> 00:12:11,564
Then he wont be needing this.
232
00:12:13,437 --> 00:12:16,514
Koogler's thumb drive is actually
a hardware encryption key.
233
00:12:17,624 --> 00:12:19,072
Can it be unencrypted?
234
00:12:19,580 --> 00:12:21,741
No, you use it to decrypt
something encrypted.
235
00:12:22,146 --> 00:12:23,741
A key with a lock on it.
236
00:12:23,866 --> 00:12:25,181
I'll give our enemy this.
237
00:12:25,306 --> 00:12:26,245
They're clever.
238
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,456
Why did they pair us together?
239
00:12:29,187 --> 00:12:32,752
Look, a message chain between
Koogler and Silverballs.
240
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,741
Now he's ordering
a huge batch of ammo,
241
00:12:34,866 --> 00:12:37,632
and stressing that he needs it
before the Cleaner Greendale Gala.
242
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:38,758
City College...
243
00:12:40,361 --> 00:12:43,346
City College is going
to crash Frankie's Gala.
244
00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:46,974
And here's where Silverballs
decides on silver balls.
245
00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:51,384
Which color will look coolest
against a navy blue jumpsuit?
246
00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:54,109
Who wears a jumpsuit
to a black tie gala?
247
00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:57,141
The guest of honor.
248
00:12:58,298 --> 00:12:59,861
Is your Internet not working?
249
00:12:59,986 --> 00:13:02,197
It's one photo.
It's taking an hour.
250
00:13:02,755 --> 00:13:06,290
You have keystrokes programmed
to, eesh, that's dorky.
251
00:13:07,455 --> 00:13:09,370
Looks like we'll be renting
formal wear.
252
00:13:09,495 --> 00:13:11,045
I'll measure Jeffrey.
253
00:13:15,658 --> 00:13:18,172
Mister Winger, you clean up nice.
254
00:13:18,338 --> 00:13:19,674
Come on. I'm always good looking.
255
00:13:20,594 --> 00:13:22,218
This seems ambitious.
256
00:13:22,855 --> 00:13:27,497
Well, the monorail is more symbolic
of our potential than it is potential,
257
00:13:27,622 --> 00:13:29,789
and none of our buildings
will ever be shaped like this.
258
00:13:29,914 --> 00:13:32,937
But with a little work,
this is how we could feel.
259
00:13:33,547 --> 00:13:34,814
You should be proud.
260
00:13:35,319 --> 00:13:38,484
Thank you, Jeff, for supporting this.
261
00:13:39,776 --> 00:13:41,070
Why is that in your ear?
262
00:13:41,744 --> 00:13:44,860
Oh, I'm raising awareness of
Armenian American stereotypes.
263
00:13:44,985 --> 00:13:47,083
Bale to belfry.
Let's check in.
264
00:13:47,208 --> 00:13:51,751
Should stereotypes have
their awareness raised?
265
00:13:52,263 --> 00:13:54,375
Oh, good lord.
I'm questioning you again.
266
00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:55,710
Why?
267
00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:58,838
Follow your bliss, sir.
You've earned it.
268
00:13:59,319 --> 00:14:01,189
Keaton to belfry,
I need to just all make sure
269
00:14:01,314 --> 00:14:03,092
we are very, very careful here.
270
00:14:03,258 --> 00:14:05,050
Bale to Keaton,
why don't you set a good example
271
00:14:05,175 --> 00:14:06,847
by keeping your mind on the mission?
272
00:14:07,315 --> 00:14:08,723
And your eyes on the prize.
273
00:14:10,454 --> 00:14:12,059
Prize is secure.
Keaton out.
274
00:14:13,325 --> 00:14:15,563
West to belfry.
Entrances secure.
275
00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:17,515
Keaton to Kilmer, status.
276
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:20,161
Kilmer to Belfry,
I'm currently examining a spoon,
277
00:14:20,286 --> 00:14:22,081
only I'm not really examining it.
278
00:14:22,206 --> 00:14:26,365
I'm using it was cover while
watching a somewhat suspicious waiter.
279
00:14:26,531 --> 00:14:28,021
Voice of Diedrich Bader to belfry.
280
00:14:28,146 --> 00:14:30,143
I've checked the custodial wing
for the third time.
281
00:14:30,268 --> 00:14:31,689
Can I come join the mission now?
282
00:14:31,814 --> 00:14:33,080
Negative voice of Diedrich Bader.
283
00:14:33,246 --> 00:14:34,837
Continue to check the custodial wing,
284
00:14:34,962 --> 00:14:37,415
and then check the parameter
of the inside of your office.
285
00:14:37,540 --> 00:14:38,541
Okay.
286
00:14:41,056 --> 00:14:43,536
And for the record,
I feel very vulnerable without a gun.
287
00:14:45,057 --> 00:14:47,470
Ugh, I know that someone
plays in this thing.
288
00:14:49,485 --> 00:14:51,885
Hey there, Dean.
We need a custodian.
289
00:14:53,889 --> 00:14:54,848
Dean.
290
00:14:54,973 --> 00:14:55,974
Dean.
291
00:14:56,220 --> 00:14:57,232
Dean.
292
00:14:57,357 --> 00:14:58,358
Dean.
293
00:15:10,226 --> 00:15:12,787
Clooney to belfry I've
got a bogey with a gun.
294
00:15:13,297 --> 00:15:14,424
Excuse me.
295
00:15:14,549 --> 00:15:17,175
I wasn't talking to you,
I was ordering dinner.
296
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:21,754
Yes hello can I get a bogey with a gun
no pickles
297
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,549
and three orders of gun.
298
00:15:25,617 --> 00:15:26,425
Damn it.
299
00:15:26,591 --> 00:15:29,131
Clooney slooped the bogey,
now he's headed for the kitchen.
300
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:34,183
- Should we go?
- Negative, we don't know it's our man.
301
00:15:34,349 --> 00:15:38,398
Kilmer, Clooney do nothing unless
you can do it quietly and calmly.
302
00:15:39,518 --> 00:15:41,876
- What the hell?
- Nothing.
303
00:15:42,001 --> 00:15:43,109
Are you ready?
304
00:15:43,402 --> 00:15:44,360
Yes.
305
00:15:46,251 --> 00:15:47,367
Clooney to Kilmer.
306
00:15:47,492 --> 00:15:49,001
- What?
- Should I come in now?
307
00:15:49,126 --> 00:15:52,827
No, no you can't ever come
in ever, you're sloppy.
308
00:15:53,454 --> 00:15:55,371
Excuse me can I have a word with you?
309
00:15:55,795 --> 00:15:56,845
About what?
310
00:15:59,275 --> 00:16:03,796
Well, there's been some reports
about a paintball game on campus.
311
00:16:03,962 --> 00:16:05,798
Oh yeah, you better believe
the kitchen boys are playing
312
00:16:06,251 --> 00:16:08,342
and this year we got
a new winning strategy.
313
00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:11,345
Let the idiots come to you.
314
00:16:11,511 --> 00:16:12,512
Oh really?
315
00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:17,518
Oh Britta you can come in now.
316
00:16:42,154 --> 00:16:43,085
I'm sorry!
317
00:16:55,193 --> 00:16:57,975
I stand before you one of Greendale's
biggest perpetrators
318
00:16:58,141 --> 00:17:00,083
of paint related mayhem
319
00:17:00,573 --> 00:17:04,523
and I am happy to say that
those days are fully behind our school.
320
00:17:04,689 --> 00:17:06,192
Looking back on those dark days,
321
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:09,153
it's clear that the only heroes
were the janitors
322
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:12,073
and the custodians
left to clean up our messes.
323
00:17:30,793 --> 00:17:34,119
So it is with great shame
and poetic irony
324
00:17:34,244 --> 00:17:35,442
that I present
325
00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:39,725
the custodial innovation award
to Vice Custodian, Lapari.
326
00:17:43,186 --> 00:17:45,523
- What the hell are you doing in there?
- Jeff, focus.
327
00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:46,732
You all right, man?
328
00:17:46,898 --> 00:17:48,359
It wasn't our guy.
329
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:51,028
The assassin is not in the kitchen.
He's still at large.
330
00:17:51,685 --> 00:17:54,490
And now let's all enact what I hope
331
00:17:54,656 --> 00:17:56,545
will become a yearly tradition,
332
00:17:56,670 --> 00:17:58,244
the popping of the balloons.
333
00:17:58,532 --> 00:17:59,328
What?
334
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:07,837
And Stay calm, check your zones.
335
00:18:11,798 --> 00:18:13,009
- Who's that?
- Where?
336
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:13,884
Where?
337
00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:15,970
I don't see anything.
338
00:18:41,661 --> 00:18:42,872
Sorry.
339
00:18:53,281 --> 00:18:54,508
It's the custodians.
340
00:18:55,097 --> 00:18:58,596
Greendale's custodial staff is running
the underground paintball tournament
341
00:18:59,152 --> 00:19:00,765
probably with City College money.
342
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:04,685
The people that clean Greendale
don't want a cleaner Greendale,
343
00:19:04,851 --> 00:19:08,731
they want Greendale to be afraid
of itself and reliant on them.
344
00:19:10,914 --> 00:19:13,182
Oh, what an exciting story.
345
00:19:13,307 --> 00:19:15,535
We're got a real life
M Night Shamalyan here.
346
00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:16,572
It's Shyamalan.
347
00:19:16,913 --> 00:19:21,536
Unfortunately, as with his stories
I don't anticipate yours holding up.
348
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,704
- Easy target.
- Who's heckling me?
349
00:19:25,163 --> 00:19:27,083
- Of course, it's the Indian guy.
- I'm Arabic.
350
00:19:28,946 --> 00:19:30,582
Okay, let's go with that.
351
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:34,568
Anyway, you know what goes
great with crazy stories?
352
00:19:34,693 --> 00:19:36,437
- Evidence.
- You're the evidence.
353
00:19:36,562 --> 00:19:38,663
Come back to our side
and tell the truth,
354
00:19:38,788 --> 00:19:40,387
so City College can be exposed.
355
00:19:40,553 --> 00:19:43,217
Or I could leave and get
a job at City College,
356
00:19:43,342 --> 00:19:45,530
where their pay phones
aren't only herpe-free,
357
00:19:45,655 --> 00:19:47,394
pthey're actually removed.
358
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,633
You think City College will take you
if you lose their aintball prize money?
359
00:19:51,242 --> 00:19:53,651
I don't know how many men you
have left in your game,
360
00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:57,404
but if you're leaving this room,
it needs to be a small army.
361
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:03,619
Okay.
362
00:20:04,158 --> 00:20:04,954
I agree.
363
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,478
An eye for an eye.
364
00:20:58,795 --> 00:21:00,880
- We're the last ones left?
- Cover me.
365
00:21:01,436 --> 00:21:02,971
Oh, dreams do come true!
366
00:21:09,241 --> 00:21:10,243
Okay, we got him.
367
00:21:10,368 --> 00:21:12,072
- He went into a supply closet.
- I know.
368
00:21:12,197 --> 00:21:14,857
I guess to a custodian,
a supply closet is like a location.
369
00:21:20,956 --> 00:21:23,453
I'm actually relieved. I thought
this was gonna be a whole gauntlet.
370
00:21:23,578 --> 00:21:26,202
My heart was not in it.
I mean, I shot a disabled kid.
371
00:21:26,483 --> 00:21:28,162
I can't do this anymore.
372
00:21:28,584 --> 00:21:30,901
- What are you looking at?
- This isn't a closet.
373
00:21:44,890 --> 00:21:47,126
Oh, it's really nice
of you guys to visit,
374
00:21:47,251 --> 00:21:49,475
not that you ever would
have done it intentionally.
375
00:21:51,874 --> 00:21:53,479
Your steamy pipes can't stop us.
376
00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:57,472
Well, it would be a pretty
bad museum exhibit if it could.
377
00:21:58,512 --> 00:21:59,693
Give it up, Lapari.
378
00:21:59,859 --> 00:22:01,708
Hey Dean, I have a microphone.
379
00:22:01,833 --> 00:22:03,697
You have a beer.
God has a plan.
380
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:06,951
I have a beer?
381
00:22:07,117 --> 00:22:08,910
It's an old stand up line
for using up hecklers.
382
00:22:09,035 --> 00:22:10,080
Keep moving.
383
00:22:10,752 --> 00:22:12,252
Did you do stand up?
384
00:22:13,144 --> 00:22:14,750
Is that how you became a custodian?
385
00:22:15,767 --> 00:22:18,671
Listen man, I was there in the 90s.
386
00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:20,737
I did a few open mic nights.
387
00:22:22,020 --> 00:22:23,599
I saw what karaoke did.
388
00:22:25,456 --> 00:22:26,887
It wasn't cool man.
389
00:22:27,053 --> 00:22:30,015
We're not so different,
you and I, Dean.
390
00:22:30,181 --> 00:22:32,977
Don't you see we're both
in the same situation?
391
00:22:34,147 --> 00:22:35,688
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
392
00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:39,681
Screw it. Shoot them all.
393
00:22:39,806 --> 00:22:41,402
One of them is him.
Shoot every single one.
394
00:22:49,671 --> 00:22:52,282
- He's not back here.
- Okay. Reload.
395
00:22:52,954 --> 00:22:55,708
Must be a mock jousting
bridge over sawdust canyon.
396
00:22:56,624 --> 00:22:59,611
We're both dinosaurs roaring
in vain at the mammals.
397
00:23:00,072 --> 00:23:02,339
What do you think was gonna
happen when you let Frankie Dart
398
00:23:02,505 --> 00:23:03,755
into our world?
399
00:23:04,032 --> 00:23:07,610
How much more clean can she make
the school before she notices
400
00:23:07,735 --> 00:23:09,985
the dirtiest thing of all about it.
401
00:23:10,839 --> 00:23:12,725
You think I'm a villain, but I'm not.
402
00:23:13,195 --> 00:23:17,479
I'm defending a place where we
all get to be our own heroes.
403
00:23:17,645 --> 00:23:21,600
We're all here because none
of us can have nice things.
404
00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:24,667
I thought you guys were mannequins!
405
00:23:25,092 --> 00:23:26,469
What a backfire!
406
00:23:26,594 --> 00:23:27,823
Is the money real?
407
00:23:28,473 --> 00:23:29,658
No mater who wins?
408
00:23:30,783 --> 00:23:32,269
Dean, what are you doing?
409
00:23:33,376 --> 00:23:34,997
What are you thinking about?
410
00:23:35,163 --> 00:23:37,833
I don't know, I don't know.
He's right, Jeffrey.
411
00:23:38,208 --> 00:23:41,503
A cleaner Greendale is
like a healthier cigarette.
412
00:23:41,669 --> 00:23:43,823
Yes, a carrot stick.
Frankie can make us a carrot stick.
413
00:23:43,948 --> 00:23:45,257
We're tobacco.
414
00:23:45,423 --> 00:23:46,662
No, we are not tobacco.
415
00:23:46,787 --> 00:23:48,067
We are Robert Downey Jr,
416
00:23:48,192 --> 00:23:50,490
he was so high he was
crawling into people's windows.
417
00:23:50,615 --> 00:23:51,722
Now he's Iron Man.
418
00:23:52,032 --> 00:23:55,284
We self destruct like this because
we'd rather be heroes than villains
419
00:23:55,409 --> 00:23:56,944
than just kind of sucky people,
420
00:23:57,069 --> 00:23:59,274
that need to work a lot
at getting less sucky.
421
00:23:59,399 --> 00:24:00,397
She will forgive us.
422
00:24:00,563 --> 00:24:04,568
I know her, I like her, and if
she fires either of you, I'll quit.
423
00:24:05,130 --> 00:24:08,186
She's not the enemy, she can help us.
424
00:24:08,311 --> 00:24:09,782
We just have to cool it.
425
00:24:12,283 --> 00:24:15,287
It's true, what he said.
426
00:24:15,677 --> 00:24:18,248
If you guys lower your guns,
427
00:24:18,414 --> 00:24:20,303
I'm not gonna throw you a party,
428
00:24:20,782 --> 00:24:23,420
but I'm not going to
get anyone fired either.
429
00:24:30,540 --> 00:24:33,305
I'll see you Monday, idiots.
430
00:24:37,843 --> 00:24:39,465
So who wins?
What do we...
431
00:24:39,590 --> 00:24:40,522
Okay.
432
00:24:40,647 --> 00:24:43,146
On the count of three we're
gonna shoot ourselves in the foot.
433
00:24:46,666 --> 00:24:47,694
One.
434
00:24:49,487 --> 00:24:50,488
Two.
435
00:25:04,653 --> 00:25:06,741
I'll see you guys on Monday.
436
00:25:09,816 --> 00:25:13,762
And the Pope looks at the giraffe
and says I'm in the room.
437
00:25:15,013 --> 00:25:16,265
Sorry I can't remember
the whole joke.
438
00:25:16,431 --> 00:25:19,101
That's okay it sounds very funny
based on the last line.
439
00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:21,270
Frankie's gonna be here
soon we should get ready.
440
00:25:21,436 --> 00:25:23,480
We're not seriously
still doing this are we?
441
00:25:23,646 --> 00:25:26,400
We promised everyday for a
week do we want her to quit?
442
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,731
Good morning everyone.
443
00:25:34,824 --> 00:25:36,660
So, where did we leave off last time?
444
00:25:36,826 --> 00:25:38,036
- Hm.
- Yes, sir.
445
00:25:39,583 --> 00:25:40,879
I like big trucks.
446
00:25:41,004 --> 00:25:42,374
I saw a fire truck today.
447
00:25:42,540 --> 00:25:44,668
Interesting point.
Would anyone care to comment?
448
00:25:45,125 --> 00:25:46,503
I made a stinky.
449
00:25:46,669 --> 00:25:48,338
Worth considering.
Next item?
450
00:25:48,504 --> 00:25:49,882
How do you pronounce pasketti?
451
00:25:50,048 --> 00:25:51,258
Spaghetti.
What else?
452
00:25:51,424 --> 00:25:52,676
Can we go to the zoo?
453
00:25:52,842 --> 00:25:54,619
Well, that raises
a very important point.
454
00:25:54,744 --> 00:25:58,839
We can do anything we want if, and
this is very important, if we grow up.
455
00:25:58,964 --> 00:25:59,892
All in favor?
456
00:26:04,034 --> 00:26:06,280
Then she starts singing about
all the places she's been.
457
00:26:06,405 --> 00:26:08,442
Which, by the way, seems
to be a total of two.
458
00:26:09,288 --> 00:26:11,505
One of which is old DC.
459
00:26:12,028 --> 00:26:13,832
Old DC.
460
00:26:14,311 --> 00:26:17,326
Okay fine, Vicki, you're a
music major, not a history major.
461
00:26:18,190 --> 00:26:20,832
And the whole mother thing,
I mean the two big feathers in her cap
462
00:26:20,957 --> 00:26:23,059
are that she hasn't let anything
change her,
463
00:26:23,184 --> 00:26:25,243
a triumph she shared
with most animals,
464
00:26:25,368 --> 00:26:29,163
and all dirt,
and the fact that her mother died,
465
00:26:29,288 --> 00:26:32,382
which is like one
thing all mother's do.
466
00:26:33,004 --> 00:26:35,135
I mean, was she a good mother?
Did she collect stamps?
467
00:26:35,301 --> 00:26:36,621
Did she race cars?
468
00:26:36,746 --> 00:26:38,737
We don't know!
We don't know her name.
469
00:26:38,862 --> 00:26:40,994
I think if you ask Vicki
the color of her mother's eyes,
470
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:42,438
she would say dead.
471
00:26:42,563 --> 00:26:44,978
Or, maybe she would say $7 a seat.
472
00:26:46,771 --> 00:26:51,095
It's bad man, I am telling you.
Nobody is safe, nobody is safe.
473
00:26:51,771 --> 00:26:52,569
Blue.
474
00:27:01,311 --> 00:27:03,747
They were a very pale shade of blue.
475
00:27:05,868 --> 00:27:08,891
I'm sorry my show didn't
honor her memory properly.
476
00:27:09,468 --> 00:27:11,162
I'll try to make it up to you.
477
00:27:11,935 --> 00:27:14,748
Actually we both will,
478
00:27:15,519 --> 00:27:17,816
at the premier of our new show.
479
00:27:18,366 --> 00:27:20,239
Vicki and Garrett.
480
00:27:23,336 --> 00:27:25,753
Let's have a hand for
Vicki's mother everybody.
481
00:27:25,878 --> 00:27:28,435
Stand up Connie.
Vicki's mother, Vicki's mother!
482
00:27:32,895 --> 00:27:35,923
We'd rather you boo.
It means you felt something.
483
00:27:36,048 --> 00:27:37,584
That's right.
You can boo.
484
00:27:37,709 --> 00:27:40,060
And, Andy Kaufman loved booing.
485
00:27:42,622 --> 00:27:45,968
Then again, we did put a
fair share of work into this.
486
00:27:46,093 --> 00:27:47,541
Like, you don't have to be dicks.
487
00:27:47,707 --> 00:27:50,651
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