1 00:00:07,474 --> 00:00:09,101 School's out, bitches! 2 00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:11,300 [BELL RINGS AND ALL CHEERING] 3 00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:13,769 PELTON [ON PA]: Congratulations, Greendale students... 4 00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:16,939 ...we've pulled off another year and we're still standing. 5 00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:19,449 Take that health inspector, building inspector... 6 00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:22,019 ...foundation inspector, water-line inspector... 7 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:26,386 ...geologist, exterminator, plumber, and Dad. 8 00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:29,386 [♪♪♪] 9 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:36,032 [MAN LAUGHING AND WHOOPING] 10 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:42,736 [DEVICE CLICKING] 11 00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:49,246 Abed, why bring a metronome? 12 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:54,118 I thought the sound might accentuate the idleness of our last meeting. 13 00:00:54,287 --> 00:00:56,152 - Good job, bad idea. - Okay, that's done. 14 00:00:56,322 --> 00:00:58,483 ALL: Yes! - Hang on, there's more. 15 00:00:58,658 --> 00:01:01,058 This one is exciting. 16 00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:04,162 We have to rename the Save Greendale Committee... 17 00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:08,164 ...due to the fact that Greendale is done being saved. 18 00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:13,262 You think that's more exciting than summer? 19 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,807 Oh, am I stealing your rays, dude? Come on, it's neat. 20 00:01:16,976 --> 00:01:19,774 Our mission is finally accomplished, once and for all. 21 00:01:19,946 --> 00:01:21,675 So, what do we call ourselves now? 22 00:01:21,848 --> 00:01:23,577 - The Accomplishers. - The Obsoletists. 23 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,513 - Stephen King's Dreamcatchers. - Susan. 24 00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:28,245 You're rebelling against yourselves, you get that? 25 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:30,946 The current trend in branding is unique, simplistic... 26 00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:33,149 ...phonetically memorable gibberish. 27 00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:36,318 - How about Nippledippers? - I like Nippledippers. 28 00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:38,157 - You guys. CHANG: Okay. 29 00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:40,663 - Ooh. Nippledippers.com is available. - Grab that. 30 00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,461 ABED: Done. ANNIE: Nippledippers, listen up. 31 00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:44,398 Text from the dean. 32 00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:48,007 "Don't leave yet, I'm almost there. Special celebration. 33 00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:52,474 Just finished entire semester without wearing a single silly outfit." 34 00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:53,805 ALL: Oh. 35 00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:57,541 - I hadn't even noticed. Good for him. ANNIE: Oh-oh. 36 00:01:57,717 --> 00:02:00,481 [PELTON GRUNTING] 37 00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:03,582 Hi, everybody. Heh, heh, heh. 38 00:02:03,756 --> 00:02:05,053 I made it! 39 00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:08,820 Obviously, I binged pretty hard there after the bell rang... 40 00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:10,223 ...but I made it! 41 00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:12,864 Are you guys going out to celebrate or something? 42 00:02:13,032 --> 00:02:16,058 I'll tag along. It's been a tough year, I could use a drink. 43 00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:17,897 We were gonna go to Britta's bar... 44 00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:21,302 ...whenever Mother Time is willing to call it a year. 45 00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:24,602 - Okay, fine, we're done. Happy summer. ALL: Whoo! 46 00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:26,540 Nippledippers drink for free. 47 00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,840 I'll pay. I'm not acknowledging that title. 48 00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:31,848 - It's 10 bucks for the domain. - I won't be able to join you. 49 00:02:32,018 --> 00:02:35,454 I gotta get on the road to California, I got a job through LinkedIn. 50 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:38,921 What? That's crazy. People use LinkedIn? 51 00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:42,357 No. LinkedIn hired me to help figure out why people don't use it. 52 00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:44,588 Also, a friend I went to high school with... 53 00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:48,359 ...just became unmarried last week and I thought I'd look her up. 54 00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:50,435 Wow, you work fast. 55 00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:54,369 - Or actually, very slow. Good luck. ABED: Are you coming back, Elroy? 56 00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:57,140 I think so. 57 00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:00,007 Probably. 58 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,706 Maybe. Have a great summer. 59 00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:09,420 PELTON Oh! 60 00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:10,783 [THE 88'S "AT LEAST IT WAS HERE" PLAYING] 61 00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:13,289 ♪ Give me some rope Tie me to dream ♪ 62 00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:16,485 ♪ Give me the hope To run out of steam ♪ 63 00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:19,962 ♪ Somebody said It can be here ♪ 64 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:23,864 ♪ We could be roped up, tied up Dead in a year ♪ 65 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:28,440 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 66 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:33,345 ♪ One by one They all just fade away ♪♪ 67 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:40,000 Ripped By mstoll 68 00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:43,581 You think bar scenes always start at a billiard shot... 69 00:03:43,756 --> 00:03:47,487 ...or every time someone takes a shot they start a scene without knowing it? 70 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:50,060 FRANKIE: What? - You can just say, "Shut up, Abed." 71 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:53,165 - Okay, ask me if I'm coming back. - Are you coming back? 72 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:57,631 [IMITATES ELROY] "Yeah. Probably. Maybe." 73 00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,567 [IN NORMAL VOICE] I mean, what was that, right? 74 00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:02,640 That was an Irish goodbye. Let's give it an Irish wake. 75 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,242 Six years guys. 76 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,503 CHANG: Nippledippers. ALL: Nippledippers. 77 00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:10,842 Where's Annie? No offense to you, but she's the only one that gets me. 78 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:13,281 - She said she had an interview. BRITTA: Six years. 79 00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:15,686 Six seasons, right, Abed? 80 00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:18,016 - Don't put a nickel in him. - Stop mitigating. 81 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,352 So, Abed, what happens in season seven? 82 00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:22,084 JEFF: Oh, man. 83 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,822 - I don't know how likely season seven is. PELTON: Huh? 84 00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,795 What show ever peaked after season six? 85 00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:29,332 Simpsons, Seinfeld, South Park, Friends. 86 00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:31,129 They weren't hemorrhaging characters. 87 00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:33,272 I don't like that word, "hemorrhaging." 88 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,436 I'll see what I can do? 89 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:40,875 - What if Shirley came back? - Shirley could get us back on formula... 90 00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:44,141 ...but I don't see it turning us around. - What's our formula? 91 00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:45,341 Well, basically... 92 00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:46,644 [THE 88'S "AT LEAST IT WAS HERE" PLAYING] 93 00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:51,222 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪♪ 94 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:54,792 I have a placeholder so set up it make analogies look like punch lines. 95 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:58,328 My setup lacks awareness, but my punch line doesn't know. 96 00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:01,023 Abusive one-liner dismissing everything you said. 97 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,895 Absurd reaction. 98 00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,299 You guys, can we put in a pin in the B story... 99 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:06,836 ...and focus on the A story? 100 00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:10,874 I don't trust A stories. I had a setup about a story that was so placeholder... 101 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:14,070 ...the punch line came five words early. And I can tag it too. 102 00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:16,943 ANNIE: Ooh. - I'll explain the risks involved... 103 00:05:17,116 --> 00:05:19,710 ...in all decisions made from here until eternity. 104 00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:21,615 - Who the hell are you? - Frankie Dart. 105 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:26,191 - Is this combination gonna work? - Not my place to say. Abed? 106 00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:29,328 Lizard. Fire hydrant. Obama. 107 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,986 Chang! 108 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,498 You know, I put time into what I do wardrobe-wise. 109 00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:41,003 Shirley, no Shirley, what does it matter, right? 110 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:44,905 Abed, we're not formulas. And if I had no self-awareness, I think I'd know. 111 00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:48,536 Things have structure. If we stray, we're weird. If we stick to it, boring. 112 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:51,149 Yeah, but isn't that about the shape of your brain? 113 00:05:51,317 --> 00:05:52,978 I mean, no offense or anything... 114 00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:56,212 ...but isn't the shape of your brain kind of fucked up? 115 00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:57,913 What's your season-seven pitch? 116 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,321 My pitch for your fall semester at Greendale... 117 00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:03,428 ...is that everyone is nice and has fun and grows together. 118 00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:06,064 - Shirley or Elroy? - See, that's racist, man. 119 00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:10,259 Shirley or Elroy? That's racist. How about they both come back? 120 00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:13,633 How about there's a whole third black person. 121 00:06:13,806 --> 00:06:15,740 - Where do they all sit? - They, uh... 122 00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:20,675 Well, they sit wherever they wanna sit as of the 1960s. Ah. 123 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,371 They si... 124 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:23,810 - They sit... - Just pitch it. 125 00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:26,144 - Don't pitch it. - I'm pitching it. 126 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:30,085 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪♪ 127 00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:34,522 Guess what. I made something. 128 00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:40,030 I made a belt with fabric. How cute is that? 129 00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:43,828 Well, I think that's very cute, so, uh... 130 00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:45,163 Oh, and I love you guys. 131 00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:50,105 I've got... I'm angry, and you should vote or don't vote. 132 00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:52,403 Sweet hallelujah. These are good times, baby. 133 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:54,068 Good times, girl. Good times. 134 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,738 Hey, I thought of something. We should go to the, um... 135 00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:59,578 To the, uh... To the, uh... To the market. 136 00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:03,483 We should. But wouldn't that be like a thing we saw? And didn't we do that? 137 00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:05,954 So shouldn't we be more ashamed and clever... 138 00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:10,289 ...and make everything more difficult? - Yes. And I think we should be sad. 139 00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:12,055 - And I'm nuts. - But I'm happy. 140 00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:13,755 And I'm happy too. 141 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:17,994 BOTH: You know, hallelujah and Church and singing and street wisdom. 142 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,866 [ELROY & SHIRLEY LAUGHING] 143 00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:28,009 - Stop. - Crazy and racist and terrible. 144 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,945 I agree. You're being way too linear about this. 145 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:35,019 Shirley, Elroy, Troy, Hickey, living in the past. 146 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,554 - Seven don't need no past. - What are you pitching? 147 00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:40,692 - Don't pitch. - This is my pitch. 148 00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:43,385 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪♪ 149 00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:49,661 All right, that includes all notes and business as it pertains to the files. 150 00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:51,804 How you guys doing? Britta, how you doing? 151 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,131 I'm cool, it's all good. 152 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,069 - Annie, you looking fine. - Thank you. 153 00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:56,265 Hey, what about me? 154 00:07:56,442 --> 00:07:59,206 Hey, everybody, look at me. I'm Ice Cube Head. 155 00:07:59,378 --> 00:08:01,972 I got an ice cube for a head. I also eat cell phones... 156 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,616 ...so you better be careful with those around me... 157 00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:07,651 ...because they taste like prime rib where I'm from. Ha, ha. 158 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,448 Oh, boy. Imagine the times we'll all get in together... 159 00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:14,059 ...especially when I use my powers to help solve all your problems. 160 00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:17,788 Pichoo, pichoo, pichoo, pichoo, pichoo, pichoo. 161 00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:19,431 ANNIE: Ha, ha, ha. - Pichoo. 162 00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,760 JEFF: Ha, ha, ha. ICE CUBE HEAD: Whoa, whoa, whoa! 163 00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:23,663 It's getting crazy in here. 164 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,432 - All right, I'm going home. CHANG: What? 165 00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:32,339 Guys, we just finished year six, and it was hard work. 166 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,309 I don't wanna care about Greendale... 167 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,449 ...and I don't wanna spend my brief moment of humanity... 168 00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:38,948 ...doing conceptual riffs... 169 00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:41,951 ...developing the imaginary TV show of our lives. 170 00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:44,988 By the way, terrible improv. Ice Cube Head? 171 00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:47,990 - You were just looking at your drink. - Busted. 172 00:08:49,795 --> 00:08:51,490 JEFF: Annie? 173 00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:53,890 I got the internship. 174 00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:58,400 I got the internship. I'm gonna intern for the FBI! Ah! 175 00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:01,404 I leave in a week. I'll be in D.C. All summer. 176 00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:05,203 You're leaving the nest. Can I have your bedroom? If you don't come back. 177 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,505 ANNIE: Well, I'm definitely coming back. 178 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,375 Probably. 179 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,517 Maybe. 180 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,914 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪♪ 181 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,422 Okay, the next order of business. 182 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,558 Garrett's holding Leonard's hand again. 183 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,353 - Stop doing that. - I'm checking for a pulse. 184 00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:25,053 Hey, hands off the Leonard dice. 185 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,699 Question, when can we start the next paintball game? 186 00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:30,859 - I don't think you can force it. - Lots of things can be forced. 187 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:34,905 Like a human head through a 6-inch drainpipe. 188 00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:38,268 - What? - I'm just kidding, pal. 189 00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:41,004 Okay, did anyone on the Sustain Greendale Committee... 190 00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,944 ...do any of their assignments this week? Scrunch? 191 00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:46,846 Sorry, bro, I don't work for you. You work for me. 192 00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:50,455 I'm the tech billionaire that bought this dump and cuts your paycheck. 193 00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:54,354 If you can call that a paycheck. I've seen more zeroes over Pearl Harbor. 194 00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:55,824 [LAUGHS] 195 00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,394 There were hundreds of them. 196 00:09:57,563 --> 00:10:02,227 The sky was black with smoke and bombs. 197 00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:04,965 SCRUNCH: Double-click this, Winger. 198 00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:08,038 It's your job to work, it is our job to party. 199 00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:10,141 And hatch hare-brained schemes. 200 00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:12,971 - And get laid. - And get laid. 201 00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:15,545 And, eventually, leave you here as well. 202 00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:18,149 [ALL LAUGHING] 203 00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:22,179 ANNIE: Jeff, you okay? - Huh? Oh. 204 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,653 I was taken aback. It's big news. 205 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,393 What have you guys been doing? 206 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,489 We were just... 207 00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:34,791 ...looking for ways to make season seven work. 208 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:37,299 We got through six seasons. What's up with that? 209 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,906 I mean, where's season seven? We gotta figure out season seven. 210 00:10:41,073 --> 00:10:43,405 Or maybe we could just hang out. 211 00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:49,512 [THE 88'S "AT LEAST IT WAS HERE" PLAYING] 212 00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:54,051 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪♪ 213 00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:59,413 Sorry I'm late. Last night was so insane it made the Insane Clown Posse... 214 00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:01,719 ...look like the Well-Adjusted Clown Posse. 215 00:11:01,894 --> 00:11:04,158 It must be hard work running away from your age. 216 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,059 Has anyone seen my e-cigarette? 217 00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:08,860 - There should be a charity for you. - Thank you. 218 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:12,232 I don't know if I can keep commuting from here to FBI headquarters. 219 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,703 Britta, Abed, I'll have to move back in. 220 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:17,866 - I moved in with them. - Chang, we have files. 221 00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:19,671 - Moving out. - You seem stressed. 222 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:22,939 Are those criminology credits you need hard to get at Greendale? 223 00:11:23,115 --> 00:11:25,879 The only credit hard to get at Greendale is from a bank. 224 00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:28,782 It's just they have schools for this stuff at Quantico. 225 00:11:28,954 --> 00:11:33,186 Being with you guys is great, but why is this a good choice for me? 226 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,691 Why doesn't the audience feel sorry for me? 227 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:38,762 - Britta, your parents were murdered. - By whom? 228 00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:42,196 The police won't touch it. They're calling it a double suicide. 229 00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:43,699 I got this. 230 00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:49,366 You're proposing a show in which Annie comes back and it hinges... 231 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,033 ...on the murder of my parents? - It's a placeholder. 232 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:55,544 I'm just saying, there's always gonna be a need for law at Greendale. 233 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,309 - You remember the Ass Crack Bandit? - Yeah. 234 00:11:58,484 --> 00:12:00,714 [ANNIE GIGGLING] 235 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:04,014 Do I remember? I mean, doesn't everybody? Heh. 236 00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:05,487 It could've been anybody. 237 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:08,923 What is with this diaper thing? Is it about shaming me? 238 00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:11,086 Do you really want people dressing you? 239 00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:12,491 It would be polite to try. 240 00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:15,498 It's nice to see you interested, but I wouldn't watch that. 241 00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:18,603 Me neither. You wanna know a perfect season seven? 242 00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:22,730 [SOMBER] ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 243 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:26,844 ♪ One by one They all just fade away ♪♪ 244 00:12:27,012 --> 00:12:29,378 Senator, you were allowed to call us terrorists... 245 00:12:29,548 --> 00:12:31,743 ...before we moved to international waters... 246 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:34,909 ...but we're a nation now, so I guess this is fucking war. 247 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:36,987 Annie, I need you to go to Washington. 248 00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:38,748 - I'm scared. - Be more scared. 249 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:41,791 The protestors are scared, they need you to talk to them. 250 00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:45,419 They should be, but they shouldn't need a leader to tell them what to do. 251 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:50,535 We're all born free into a world of lies, but let's talk about you for a second. 252 00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,102 Well, I'm not a joke anymore. 253 00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,933 I'm strictly transgender, I'm not all this other stuff. 254 00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:58,736 I represent the transgender community, and it's a real thing. 255 00:12:58,911 --> 00:13:02,108 I am not crazy, but I do have flaws. I'm smart... 256 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,805 "All this other stuff"? 257 00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:06,349 Glad to be of service. I want my diaper back. 258 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,885 I don't even own a TV and I wouldn't watch that. 259 00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:10,487 Oh, yeah? What's your pitch? 260 00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:15,150 Oh, well, I... I mean, it's not that complicated is it? 261 00:13:20,065 --> 00:13:23,091 [THE 88'S "AT LEAST IT WAS HERE" PLAYING SOFTLY] 262 00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:30,399 - Hello. ALL: Hello. 263 00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:32,134 - Hello. - How's everyone? 264 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:33,642 - Hello. - I have... 265 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,111 We could learn about science or history. 266 00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:39,046 It's set in a school after all. Why aren't we learning? 267 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:44,045 And I know that's not enough, so... 268 00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:46,783 [CHANG FARTING] 269 00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,017 And so on. 270 00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:49,991 ALL: Boo! 271 00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:53,222 It's possible there is more skill to it than I thought. 272 00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,492 - Yes, yes, yes! ABED: There is skill to it. 273 00:13:55,668 --> 00:14:00,128 More importantly, it has to be joyful, effortless, fun. 274 00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:02,797 TV defeats its own purpose when pushing an agenda... 275 00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:04,636 ...or trying to defeat other TV... 276 00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:08,143 ...or being proud or ashamed of itself for existing. 277 00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:10,942 It's TV. It's comfort. 278 00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:14,418 It's a friend you've known so well and for so long... 279 00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:16,950 ...you just let it be with you. 280 00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:18,453 [♪♪♪] 281 00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:21,455 It needs to be okay for it to have a bad day... 282 00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,754 ...or phone in a day. 283 00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:25,362 It needs to be okay for it... 284 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:28,329 ...to get on a boat with LeVar Burton and never come back. 285 00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:32,735 Because eventually, it all will. 286 00:14:33,739 --> 00:14:35,070 [BRITTA SOBBING] 287 00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:37,232 - I'm fine. - I know. 288 00:14:37,409 --> 00:14:40,003 It's... It's not just that. 289 00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:44,445 It's such a classic mistake, but I got really attached to my pitch. 290 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:47,381 I had a soundtrack in my head and everything. 291 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:48,986 JEFF: Well, I agree with Abed. 292 00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:53,080 - And I have an effortless pitch. ABED: Hm. 293 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:57,423 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪♪ 294 00:14:57,596 --> 00:15:01,225 PELTON: So how's this semester's crop of apples looking? 295 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,892 Bruised but not rotten. Asian kid in my math class doesn't wanna study... 296 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:07,766 ...because he doesn't wanna be a stereotype. It's funny. 297 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:11,239 A strong B story. I can say that because I teach TV Appreciation. 298 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:15,176 Send that student to me and we'll make it more serious. I'm the school shrink. 299 00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:18,180 - I wear these glasses every episode. - You are hot in them. 300 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,614 - Very hot. - This gives me a more solid reason... 301 00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:23,118 ...to interact with you than a stupid committee. 302 00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:26,816 By the way, I'm a lesbian. It's why I haven't hit on Jeff. 303 00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:30,587 Well, here's my deal. I teach criminology, but look... 304 00:15:30,896 --> 00:15:33,364 ...it's the original Annie. ALL: Ah. 305 00:15:33,532 --> 00:15:36,228 But I'm grown up and I'm hot, but not little-girl hot. 306 00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:39,496 And I'm happy and we're all together and it makes sense. 307 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:42,937 - We might just live the good life yet. ANNIE: Heh, heh. 308 00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:44,598 PELTON: Hey! BRITTA: Dean! 309 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,745 - Dean Jeffrey. ALL: Ha, ha, ha. 310 00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:49,142 I told you not to come to the teacher's lounge. 311 00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:51,112 You're supposed to be in dean class. 312 00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,877 How can I learn to be dean if I can't hang out with teachers? 313 00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:57,284 We're supposed to be shaping minds, but we keep shaping each other. 314 00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,981 - Bring it in. ALL: Aw. 315 00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,798 In this version would you tell me what to do a lot? 316 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,331 Am I on meds in it? 317 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:10,832 I'm mellow and relatable. I like it. 318 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:15,032 I would love to teach at Greendale. And I do miss wearing skirts. 319 00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:18,335 Once you swallow the contrivance, it'd open new areas and dynamics. 320 00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:20,671 - And it's evergreen. JEFF: Great, that's settled. 321 00:16:20,846 --> 00:16:21,972 How do we make it real? 322 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:24,809 Annie, you should start looking into education classes. 323 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,178 You too, Abed. 324 00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:29,013 I should tell you I'm moving to Los Angeles. 325 00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:30,177 ALL: What? 326 00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:32,847 Like a TV executive, I let you work your asses off... 327 00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:36,984 ...because there's no profit in saying no to an idea. But now I have to pass. 328 00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:39,687 I'm a PA on a Fox show set in a video-game studio. 329 00:16:39,865 --> 00:16:42,390 It's like 30 Rock meets IT Crowd meets... 330 00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,160 ...well, me. 331 00:16:44,803 --> 00:16:46,566 - I'm growing up. BRITTA: That's so great. 332 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,172 Congratulations, Abed. 333 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,535 But you're coming back, right? 334 00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:52,506 Maybe. 335 00:16:54,246 --> 00:16:55,713 Probably. 336 00:16:57,616 --> 00:17:00,551 - Maybe. - But six seasons and a movie. 337 00:17:00,719 --> 00:17:03,347 I know it comforts you to look through that meta-lens... 338 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,150 ...but this is reality. TV's rules aren't common sense. 339 00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:08,725 They're a studio wanting to milk their properties dry. 340 00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:12,352 BRITTA: Hear, hear. Cheers to that, and cheers to Abed. 341 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,123 ALL: Cheers. 342 00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:17,462 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪♪ 343 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:20,530 [ABED GRUNTING] 344 00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:29,371 - What...? Jeffrey. ANNIE: Hey. 345 00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:33,876 [CHANG FARTS] 346 00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:35,551 And so on. 347 00:17:40,292 --> 00:17:44,285 [♪♪♪] 348 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,565 - Annie, I'm home. - Hey there. 349 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,402 How was your day? Did anything funny happen? 350 00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,100 Who cares? 351 00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:02,406 - How was your day? - Good. Sebastian did some drawing. 352 00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:04,344 Sebastian. Let's look at him. 353 00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:06,841 - Sebastian. - Sebastian. 354 00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:10,288 JEFF: Aw. Back to your child area. ANNIE: Aw. 355 00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:11,787 SEBASTIAN: Yay! 356 00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:14,221 I love you. 357 00:18:16,528 --> 00:18:20,362 - Are you okay? - Is this really what you want? 358 00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:21,794 Of course. 359 00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:24,492 I mean, I'd be fine with a dog too... 360 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,297 ...but whatever you want. 361 00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:28,201 Do you have any idea what I want? 362 00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:30,068 Yes? 363 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,379 - How'd you get in? - I hold the spare keys... 364 00:18:43,555 --> 00:18:46,888 ...so the dean would stop leaving them under the welcome mat. 365 00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:50,018 You left weirdly. 366 00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:52,390 There's no normal way to do anything now. 367 00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:54,122 ANNIE: Yeah. 368 00:18:55,367 --> 00:18:59,030 - You're gonna be fine, you know. - I don't wanna be fine. 369 00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:02,298 I wanna be 25 and heading out into the world. 370 00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:05,637 I wanna fall asleep on a beach and be able to walk the next day. 371 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,438 Or stay up all night on accident. 372 00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:11,140 I wanna wear a white T-shirt without looking like I forgot to get dressed. 373 00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:15,753 I wanna be terrified of AIDS. I wanna have an opinion about those... 374 00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:19,113 ...boring-ass Marvel movies. 375 00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:22,818 And I want those opinions to be of any concern to the people making them. 376 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:26,795 Well, I wanna live in the same home for more than a year... 377 00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:29,729 ...order wine without feeling nervous... 378 00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:34,703 ...have a résumé full of crazy mistakes instead of crazy lies. 379 00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:38,639 I want stories and wisdom, perspective. 380 00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:42,644 I wanna have so much behind me I'm not a slave to what's in front of me. 381 00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:45,009 Especially these... 382 00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:48,418 ...flavorless, unremarkable Marvel movies. 383 00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:51,055 - Oh, they are so not a big deal. - I know. 384 00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:53,783 - It's just all there is. - Yes, and you get to say that. 385 00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:55,620 I could screw myself if I say it... 386 00:19:55,794 --> 00:19:59,059 ...but there's pressures on me you don't have to live under... 387 00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:03,224 ...if you accept that you're older... 388 00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:05,063 ...and let the kid stuff go. 389 00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:07,702 I let you go, Annie. 390 00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:11,541 With my hands, and my head. 391 00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:13,840 The heart... 392 00:20:14,012 --> 00:20:16,173 Which cynics say is code for penis. 393 00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:19,511 - Wants what it wants. 394 00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:23,046 But I let you go. 395 00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:27,448 [PHONE BUZZING] 396 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,650 [PHONE BEEPS] 397 00:20:30,462 --> 00:20:32,623 The others are coming. 398 00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:35,289 I think you should kiss me goodbye... 399 00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:37,958 ...or you might regret it for the rest of your life. 400 00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:39,664 What about you? 401 00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:42,932 I'll regret the kiss for a week. I'm in my 20s. Who cares? 402 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,908 [♪♪♪] 403 00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:05,964 CHANG: Whoo. Are we interrupting? 404 00:21:06,131 --> 00:21:07,496 Stop being gross. 405 00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:09,930 You guys doing an unauthorized finale? Not cool. 406 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:14,539 JEFF: Abed, I know it gives you comfort to see through that meta-lens, but... 407 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:17,132 ...we were just saying goodbye to the room. 408 00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:20,870 For season six. Season seven, who knows? It's out of our hands. 409 00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:22,172 Too many variables. 410 00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:25,180 ABED: Cool. Cool, cool. Cool, cool. 411 00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:27,716 - Cool. ANNIE: Heh. 412 00:21:27,886 --> 00:21:29,547 That was one cool for each season. 413 00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:31,655 CHANG: Wait, do it again, I wanna try something. 414 00:21:31,823 --> 00:21:34,383 - Cool. Cool, cool. Cool... [CHANG FARTING] 415 00:21:34,559 --> 00:21:36,322 ANNIE: Oh. - Cool, cool. 416 00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:39,362 I farted during the fourth one. It's an inside joke. 417 00:21:39,531 --> 00:21:41,465 - I'm gonna miss you guys. CHANG: Gay. 418 00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:45,000 You know what I think, as a humble outsider that came in and nailed it? 419 00:21:45,170 --> 00:21:46,865 I think everyone should imagine... 420 00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:49,473 ...their own personal version of season seven... 421 00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:52,337 ...and not share it with anyone. Maybe it'll come true. 422 00:21:52,511 --> 00:21:56,072 No cutting to any of them. If you cut to it, it won't come true. 423 00:22:01,353 --> 00:22:05,551 [♪♪♪] 424 00:22:09,795 --> 00:22:12,161 You just stopped being a study group. 425 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:16,324 I hereby pronounce you a community. 426 00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:18,264 Brianna, you're the driven idealist. 427 00:22:18,437 --> 00:22:22,237 Kaylee, the fiery, passionate one, we might have a fun no-stringsy thing. 428 00:22:22,407 --> 00:22:26,366 And Mackenzie, the kooky, nerdy one. And Hallie, the other nerdy one. 429 00:22:26,545 --> 00:22:28,672 You should be friends and have pillow fights. 430 00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:30,508 And there's Phoebe, the wise one. 431 00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:32,877 No? You're nerdy too? Okay. 432 00:22:33,051 --> 00:22:35,178 And the rest of you other redhead ones... 433 00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:38,585 ...we're gonna have some pretty crazy times. 434 00:22:38,757 --> 00:22:42,158 And eventually, you'll leave and be replaced by new ones... 435 00:22:42,327 --> 00:22:44,795 ...and that's something I'm equipped to handle now. 436 00:22:44,963 --> 00:22:46,590 I'm sort of a hero that way. 437 00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:50,501 We can cut to them at home though, right? 438 00:22:50,669 --> 00:22:52,933 - I mean, by ourselves? - Sure. 439 00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:55,335 - I love that I got to be with you guys. - Gay. 440 00:22:55,507 --> 00:22:57,805 You saved my life, and changed it forever. 441 00:22:57,976 --> 00:22:59,307 Gay! 442 00:22:59,478 --> 00:23:00,911 Thank you. 443 00:23:03,315 --> 00:23:06,182 [♪♪♪] 444 00:23:07,986 --> 00:23:10,045 [CHANG SOBBING] 445 00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:14,052 I'm gay. 446 00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:19,219 I'm for real gay. 447 00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:23,626 I'm legit gay! 448 00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:28,504 ♪ Oh, there's a river That winds on forever ♪ 449 00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:32,201 ♪ I'm gonna see where it leads ♪ 450 00:23:33,011 --> 00:23:36,777 ♪ Oh, there's a mountain That no man has mounted ♪ 451 00:23:36,948 --> 00:23:40,213 ♪ I'm gonna stand on the peak ♪ 452 00:23:40,886 --> 00:23:44,686 ♪ Out there's a land That time don't command ♪ 453 00:23:44,856 --> 00:23:47,723 ♪ Wanna be the first to arrive ♪ 454 00:23:48,894 --> 00:23:52,796 ♪ No time for pondering Why I'm wandering ♪ 455 00:23:52,964 --> 00:23:55,592 ♪ Not while we're both still alive ♪ 456 00:23:56,468 --> 00:24:00,734 ♪ To the ends of the earth Would you follow me? ♪ 457 00:24:03,542 --> 00:24:07,876 ♪ There's a world that was meant For our eyes to see ♪ 458 00:24:10,415 --> 00:24:14,351 ♪ To the ends of the earth Would you follow me? ♪♪ 459 00:24:18,557 --> 00:24:20,115 [LAUGHING] 460 00:24:25,764 --> 00:24:29,291 [INDISTINCT DIALOGUE] 461 00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:37,271 - This is the show. CHANG: Right. That's right. 462 00:24:44,082 --> 00:24:46,346 ANNOUNCER: Community, the hit show is now a hit board game. 463 00:24:46,518 --> 00:24:49,681 - More like an "I'm bored" game. MAN: Shut up, Leonard. 464 00:24:49,855 --> 00:24:53,416 You look like a German puppet maker and smell like the inside of a church. 465 00:24:53,592 --> 00:24:56,686 ANNOUNCER: Blah, blah. Commercial VO describing the rules of gameplay. 466 00:24:56,862 --> 00:25:00,161 - I like you, Winger. As a friend. ALL: Ooh. 467 00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:03,563 Sorry, Britta, but that friendship just got a benefit. 468 00:25:03,735 --> 00:25:05,703 ANNOUNCER: Collect the other players' identities... 469 00:25:05,871 --> 00:25:09,329 ...and be the first to figure out if the game is part of the show or... 470 00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:12,136 I got it. The whole show is happening inside this game. 471 00:25:12,310 --> 00:25:14,938 Then explain this. 472 00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:19,843 GIRL: What is it? - It's a script... 473 00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:24,387 ...of a fake commercial at the end of season six... 474 00:25:24,556 --> 00:25:26,854 ...starring this family. 475 00:25:27,025 --> 00:25:28,390 Sorry, Dad. 476 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,255 Guess I win. 477 00:25:31,796 --> 00:25:33,661 You stupid child. 478 00:25:33,832 --> 00:25:35,356 Nobody's winning anything. 479 00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:37,502 Don't you see? 480 00:25:37,669 --> 00:25:40,160 This means we don't exist. 481 00:25:40,505 --> 00:25:43,736 We're not created by God, we're created by a joke. 482 00:25:44,342 --> 00:25:49,075 We were never born and we will never actually live. 483 00:25:55,854 --> 00:25:57,845 ANNOUNCER: Dice not included. Some assembly required. 484 00:25:58,023 --> 00:26:01,117 Lines between perception, desire and reality may become blurred. 485 00:26:01,293 --> 00:26:04,558 Characters may hook up with no regard for your emotional investment. 486 00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:07,721 Some episodes too conceptual, some too funny to be immersive... 487 00:26:07,899 --> 00:26:10,868 ...some so immersive they aren't funny. Consistency between seasons varies. 488 00:26:11,036 --> 00:26:12,697 Viewers measured by participants... 489 00:26:12,871 --> 00:26:15,339 ...keeping handwritten journals of what they watch. 490 00:26:15,507 --> 00:26:17,873 Show may be cancelled and moved to the Internet... 491 00:26:18,043 --> 00:26:20,204 ...where it turns out millions were watching. 492 00:26:20,378 --> 00:26:23,836 Fake commercial may descend into vain Chuck Lorre-esque rant by creator. 493 00:26:24,015 --> 00:26:27,416 Therapist told creator this is not how you make yourself a good person. 494 00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:30,077 Life may pass by while we ignore those close to us. 495 00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:33,782 Those people may want to know I love them but am incapable of saying it. 496 00:26:33,959 --> 00:26:36,461 Contains pieces the size of a child's esophagus. 497 00:26:36,494 --> 00:26:38,962 [♪♪♪] 498 00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:48,500 Ripped By mstoll