1
00:00:06,934 --> 00:00:10,519
Hey, could we get one more round, please?
2
00:00:10,521 --> 00:00:12,271
It's on a tab... Bighetti.
3
00:00:12,323 --> 00:00:13,856
- Sure. Coming up.
- Cool. Thanks.
4
00:00:13,858 --> 00:00:17,026
Well, well, look who's the big shot.
5
00:00:17,028 --> 00:00:18,611
Yeah, big shot.
6
00:00:18,663 --> 00:00:19,745
How are you guys?
7
00:00:19,780 --> 00:00:21,747
Uh, everything good over at Nucleus?
8
00:00:21,782 --> 00:00:24,867
Nucleus is dog shit. How do you do it, man?
9
00:00:24,869 --> 00:00:27,169
You used to be the most useless guy
10
00:00:27,205 --> 00:00:29,088
in the entire Nucleus team,
11
00:00:29,123 --> 00:00:31,707
but now you run an entire division.
12
00:00:31,709 --> 00:00:33,042
Did you ever ask yourself why?
13
00:00:33,044 --> 00:00:35,211
No. No, I never have.
14
00:00:35,213 --> 00:00:38,130
Do you have any skill at all
15
00:00:38,182 --> 00:00:41,133
other than magically
failing your way to the top?
16
00:00:41,185 --> 00:00:43,052
I have a boat.
17
00:00:43,104 --> 00:00:45,221
I guess that's not really a skill.
18
00:00:45,273 --> 00:00:46,772
Fucking Big Head, man.
19
00:00:46,807 --> 00:00:48,974
Fucking Big Head.
20
00:00:50,728 --> 00:00:52,394
Take care.
21
00:00:52,396 --> 00:00:54,897
Oh, hey.
22
00:00:54,949 --> 00:00:56,866
Hey, you forgot your phone.
23
00:00:56,901 --> 00:00:59,652
At least I think this is your...
24
00:00:59,704 --> 00:01:02,238
Holy shit.
25
00:01:05,409 --> 00:01:06,575
Holy shit.
26
00:01:06,627 --> 00:01:08,627
Right?
27
00:01:08,663 --> 00:01:10,379
This is Nucleus?
28
00:01:10,414 --> 00:01:12,081
Yep.
29
00:01:12,133 --> 00:01:15,217
That is a beta of their
entire mobile platform,
30
00:01:15,253 --> 00:01:16,585
and it sucks.
31
00:01:16,637 --> 00:01:19,972
Yeah. I mean, the UX is, like, Soviet-era.
32
00:01:20,007 --> 00:01:23,058
When it stores photos,
they actually get larger.
33
00:01:23,094 --> 00:01:24,677
They never cracked middle-out.
34
00:01:24,729 --> 00:01:26,679
I actually kind of wish
you didn't show me this,
35
00:01:26,731 --> 00:01:30,015
because now I know we totally
would have beaten them.
36
00:01:30,067 --> 00:01:32,685
As it is now, I mean, we can't get funded.
37
00:01:32,737 --> 00:01:34,270
All of our new coders quit.
38
00:01:34,272 --> 00:01:36,272
I mean, can you even
imagine what would happen
39
00:01:36,274 --> 00:01:39,074
if, like, a tech blog got their
hands on that piece of shit?
40
00:01:39,110 --> 00:01:41,076
They'd tear it apart. I mean,
41
00:01:41,112 --> 00:01:43,612
it could actually totally
destroy Nucleus' release.
42
00:01:43,664 --> 00:01:46,782
I bet Gavin would do, shit, anything
43
00:01:46,784 --> 00:01:48,617
to prevent that from happening, right?
44
00:01:48,669 --> 00:01:50,119
Yeah, totally.
45
00:01:50,121 --> 00:01:53,422
Jesus, Richard, am I
actually ahead of you on this?
46
00:01:54,458 --> 00:01:56,792
Take the phone, man.
47
00:01:56,844 --> 00:01:58,127
It's yours. Take it.
48
00:01:58,179 --> 00:01:59,678
Are... are you serious?
49
00:01:59,714 --> 00:02:03,465
Yeah, dude. Come on, I owe you.
50
00:02:03,467 --> 00:02:07,636
I mean, I was about to
quit Hooli and move home.
51
00:02:07,638 --> 00:02:10,723
And then Gavin promoted
me just to spite you.
52
00:02:10,775 --> 00:02:12,641
And now he keeps promoting me
53
00:02:12,643 --> 00:02:14,560
for some inexplicable reason.
54
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:17,529
I mean, I haven't done anything,
Richard... I mean, less than nothing.
55
00:02:17,565 --> 00:02:19,815
Well, yeah.
56
00:02:19,817 --> 00:02:21,367
But look at me now.
57
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:25,070
We're sitting on my boat, Richard,
58
00:02:25,122 --> 00:02:27,072
and that's because of you.
59
00:02:27,124 --> 00:02:29,959
Soon we can sail it to fucking Hawaii
60
00:02:29,994 --> 00:02:32,328
or Sausalito.
61
00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:34,163
Three more classes, and
I get my boat license.
62
00:02:34,215 --> 00:02:36,048
Oh, really? How many classes does it take?
63
00:02:36,083 --> 00:02:38,133
Three. It's three classes.
64
00:02:38,169 --> 00:02:40,636
I heard you can pay somebody
to take the test for you,
65
00:02:40,671 --> 00:02:42,805
but I just haven't got around to it yet.
66
00:02:50,968 --> 00:02:53,998
synced and corrected by Caio
www.addic7ed.com
67
00:02:54,685 --> 00:02:56,685
Enough with your
coy bullshit, Richard, okay?
68
00:02:56,737 --> 00:02:58,354
I know you have my goddamn phone.
69
00:02:58,406 --> 00:03:00,356
What the fuck do I have
to do to get it back?
70
00:03:00,358 --> 00:03:02,358
Well, I was thinking
71
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,360
that in exchange for my help, you...
72
00:03:04,412 --> 00:03:06,829
I'm sorry, hold on.
73
00:03:06,864 --> 00:03:09,198
You can't use the term "in exchange."
74
00:03:09,250 --> 00:03:12,701
It implies causality.
That's basically extortion.
75
00:03:12,753 --> 00:03:15,120
Any actions he takes must be un-coerced
76
00:03:15,172 --> 00:03:16,672
and of his own volition.
77
00:03:16,707 --> 00:03:18,340
Go.
78
00:03:18,376 --> 00:03:20,259
Hello. It's me again.
79
00:03:20,294 --> 00:03:24,463
I was thinking that if
you found your phone,
80
00:03:24,515 --> 00:03:28,100
you might be so happy
that you would be inclined
81
00:03:28,135 --> 00:03:29,551
to drop the lawsuit.
82
00:03:29,603 --> 00:03:31,103
Why would I do that?
83
00:03:31,138 --> 00:03:32,971
Because if you found your phone,
84
00:03:33,024 --> 00:03:35,357
that would mean that no tech bloggers
85
00:03:35,393 --> 00:03:37,276
or journalists did,
86
00:03:37,311 --> 00:03:40,029
and they couldn't write a scathing review
87
00:03:40,064 --> 00:03:43,365
based on what was on it, as it sucks.
88
00:03:43,401 --> 00:03:45,367
Who knows? It might even
89
00:03:45,403 --> 00:03:47,903
cause Hooli stock to crash
90
00:03:47,905 --> 00:03:50,956
or certain careers to be ruined.
91
00:03:50,991 --> 00:03:53,042
Richard, are you threatening me?
92
00:03:53,077 --> 00:03:54,209
Uh,
93
00:03:54,245 --> 00:03:56,995
am I threatening you?
94
00:03:57,048 --> 00:03:58,964
That's a good question.
95
00:03:58,999 --> 00:04:00,249
Um, no.
96
00:04:00,251 --> 00:04:02,251
If you don't give me my fucking phone back,
97
00:04:02,253 --> 00:04:05,387
I'm gonna find you, bend you over your desk
98
00:04:05,423 --> 00:04:08,057
and fuck you so hard, your front teeth...
99
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:10,759
Hold on.
100
00:04:10,761 --> 00:04:13,228
You can't threaten him,
especially not sexually.
101
00:04:13,264 --> 00:04:15,764
This little shit could
cause major damage here.
102
00:04:15,816 --> 00:04:18,517
What am I allowed to say?
103
00:04:18,569 --> 00:04:21,153
Richard, it's me again.
104
00:04:21,188 --> 00:04:22,271
Yes.
105
00:04:22,273 --> 00:04:23,739
Here's my concern.
106
00:04:23,774 --> 00:04:27,025
If my phone ends up in
the hands of a journalist,
107
00:04:27,078 --> 00:04:29,778
Palo Alto Chief of Police Ed Gaskins,
108
00:04:29,830 --> 00:04:32,865
who, apropos of nothing, happens to
be a close personal friend of mine,
109
00:04:32,917 --> 00:04:35,868
would have to go and ask this
person where they got my phone.
110
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:39,288
Keep in mind, these aren't
real journalists, Richard.
111
00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:41,039
They're tech journalists.
112
00:04:41,092 --> 00:04:44,510
Do you think they'd go to
prison to protect their source?
113
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,211
I don't either.
114
00:04:46,263 --> 00:04:49,798
And since this phone's
OS is a stolen prototype
115
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,301
worth $40 to $60 million,
116
00:04:52,303 --> 00:04:55,804
you're looking at felony
grand theft, Richard.
117
00:04:55,856 --> 00:05:00,476
You can go to jail for 40 years.
118
00:05:00,528 --> 00:05:02,978
Then again, you'd probably be fine
119
00:05:03,030 --> 00:05:05,147
in a full-blown hard time penitentiary.
120
00:05:05,149 --> 00:05:08,867
I mean, after they waxed your rectum
121
00:05:08,903 --> 00:05:10,652
and knocked out all your front teeth
122
00:05:10,704 --> 00:05:12,571
just to make things easier.
123
00:05:13,958 --> 00:05:15,791
You know, Gavin, if you don't want my help,
124
00:05:15,826 --> 00:05:18,660
then I guess we'll just see what happens.
125
00:05:20,548 --> 00:05:22,998
All right, Richard.
126
00:05:23,050 --> 00:05:26,084
So what do we do here?
127
00:05:26,137 --> 00:05:27,970
I don't know.
128
00:05:28,005 --> 00:05:29,555
What do we do here?
129
00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:31,673
Paul, are you there?
130
00:05:31,725 --> 00:05:32,841
Ron?
131
00:05:32,893 --> 00:05:35,477
- Hey, buddy.
- Sam and Melinda there, too?
132
00:05:35,513 --> 00:05:36,812
They are. They say hi.
133
00:05:36,847 --> 00:05:38,013
Hey, Ron.
134
00:05:38,015 --> 00:05:40,566
What up, kids?
135
00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:42,151
Let me hit you back in 10
136
00:05:42,186 --> 00:05:44,269
and we'll sidebar this.
137
00:05:46,657 --> 00:05:49,608
Binding arbitration? What's that?
138
00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:52,744
Well, it's like a trial
but massively accelerated.
139
00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:55,330
Next week we're gonna go
in front of a retired judge
140
00:05:55,366 --> 00:05:59,034
and argue our whole lawsuit in
just two days, and then we're done.
141
00:05:59,086 --> 00:06:01,537
So this will all be resolved next week?
142
00:06:01,539 --> 00:06:04,089
I've always wanted to go
to binding arbitration.
143
00:06:04,124 --> 00:06:06,758
A weird thing to have always wanted to do.
144
00:06:06,794 --> 00:06:08,594
Everybody who's ever sued me
145
00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,712
has settled out of court. Pussies.
146
00:06:10,714 --> 00:06:13,715
Now finally I'll be able to take the stand,
147
00:06:13,717 --> 00:06:15,100
be a part of the big show.
148
00:06:15,135 --> 00:06:17,269
No show. This is a serious
149
00:06:17,304 --> 00:06:19,104
legal proceeding, okay?
150
00:06:19,139 --> 00:06:22,107
And speaking to that, Ron
Laflamme has got us a new litigator
151
00:06:22,142 --> 00:06:24,226
and we are meeting him in an hour.
152
00:06:24,278 --> 00:06:26,478
Um, how are we gonna pay this person?
153
00:06:26,530 --> 00:06:28,897
Our guy has agreed to wave his entire fee
154
00:06:28,899 --> 00:06:31,233
until our case is resolved.
155
00:06:31,285 --> 00:06:33,702
Oh, it's some wet behind the ears
noob straight out of law school.
156
00:06:33,737 --> 00:06:36,205
No, he is said to be very experienced,
157
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,990
one of the best in the biz.
158
00:06:38,042 --> 00:06:41,076
Then why the fuck would
he take our case on spec?
159
00:06:41,078 --> 00:06:43,662
Was I in possession of
cocaine, amphetamines,
160
00:06:43,714 --> 00:06:46,915
amyl nitrate, also known as
poppers, at the time of my arrest?
161
00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:49,084
In large quantities.
162
00:06:49,086 --> 00:06:51,053
Did I have consensual intercourse
163
00:06:51,088 --> 00:06:53,505
with two women under the age of 18?
164
00:06:53,557 --> 00:06:56,325
Repeatedly. I admit this.
165
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,427
Did I violate the Mann
Act and transport them
166
00:06:58,479 --> 00:07:00,929
across state lines for sexual purposes?
167
00:07:00,931 --> 00:07:03,599
Alleged but not proven.
168
00:07:03,601 --> 00:07:06,018
And, boy, they tried. They tried.
169
00:07:06,070 --> 00:07:09,071
Therefore, I was incarcerated
and I was disbarred.
170
00:07:09,106 --> 00:07:11,740
Wait, hold on. You were disbarred?
171
00:07:11,775 --> 00:07:13,609
So you can't practice law?
172
00:07:13,611 --> 00:07:16,194
Not in open court in
the State of California.
173
00:07:16,247 --> 00:07:18,914
That's correct. But this is arbitration.
174
00:07:18,949 --> 00:07:21,583
I'm really grateful for the opportunity.
175
00:07:21,619 --> 00:07:23,118
I'm turning my life around.
176
00:07:23,170 --> 00:07:25,120
I've served my time.
177
00:07:25,172 --> 00:07:27,005
Questions?
178
00:07:27,041 --> 00:07:29,174
I guess I have one at least.
179
00:07:29,209 --> 00:07:32,544
Um, what does amyl nitrate do?
180
00:07:32,596 --> 00:07:34,296
Oh, it dilates the anus.
181
00:07:34,298 --> 00:07:36,598
That is accurate.
182
00:07:36,634 --> 00:07:39,768
Also produces euphoria.
183
00:07:39,803 --> 00:07:42,771
Okay, thank you, Pete and Jared.
184
00:07:42,806 --> 00:07:45,107
- Sure.
- Anal dilation aside,
185
00:07:45,142 --> 00:07:47,059
what do you think of our case?
186
00:07:47,111 --> 00:07:49,311
You think we're gonna go
in there and just dick-slap
187
00:07:49,313 --> 00:07:50,862
those Hooli pieces of shit?
188
00:07:50,898 --> 00:07:53,231
I have reviewed your case
189
00:07:53,284 --> 00:07:55,701
and it is extremely strong.
190
00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:57,069
Thank God.
191
00:07:57,121 --> 00:07:59,538
I do, every day of my life.
192
00:07:59,573 --> 00:08:02,157
It's only by His grace
that I was able to survive
193
00:08:02,159 --> 00:08:05,577
that plunge into the ravine and 11
months in the state penitentiary.
194
00:08:05,629 --> 00:08:09,164
I'm sorry, were you in an emotional ravine
195
00:08:09,216 --> 00:08:11,500
or did you actually go into a ravine?
196
00:08:12,419 --> 00:08:13,585
Both.
197
00:08:13,637 --> 00:08:15,504
Now, with your approval,
198
00:08:15,556 --> 00:08:16,888
I would like to move forward.
199
00:08:16,924 --> 00:08:19,257
I currently am not in
possession of an office
200
00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:22,060
and I'm residing in a halfway house,
201
00:08:22,096 --> 00:08:25,681
so I would like to give
Hooli legal your home address.
202
00:08:25,733 --> 00:08:27,015
Why?
203
00:08:27,067 --> 00:08:29,651
They need to send over
their discovery documents,
204
00:08:29,687 --> 00:08:30,852
all of them.
205
00:08:30,854 --> 00:08:33,071
All of them?
206
00:08:36,026 --> 00:08:38,493
This is craziness.
207
00:08:38,529 --> 00:08:40,412
Couldn't they have just emailed all this?
208
00:08:40,447 --> 00:08:42,831
I mean, it's mostly just
printed-out emails anyway.
209
00:08:42,866 --> 00:08:44,833
Yeah, of course they could have.
210
00:08:44,868 --> 00:08:47,252
And it would have been
digitally searchable,
211
00:08:47,287 --> 00:08:48,787
and that is the point.
212
00:08:48,872 --> 00:08:51,039
It's a classic document dump.
213
00:08:51,041 --> 00:08:53,041
But what they didn't take into account is
214
00:08:53,093 --> 00:08:54,960
the power of us.
215
00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:57,129
So grab a box, guys.
216
00:08:57,181 --> 00:08:59,014
Start pulling anything
you think is relevant.
217
00:08:59,049 --> 00:09:01,016
And you may have to work pretty hard,
218
00:09:01,051 --> 00:09:03,552
but it will free us from this lawsuit.
219
00:09:03,604 --> 00:09:07,022
Are you saying, "work will set you free"?
220
00:09:07,057 --> 00:09:08,640
Yes. They have the manpower.
221
00:09:08,692 --> 00:09:11,476
We have the perseverance.
Triumph of the will.
222
00:09:13,781 --> 00:09:15,480
He's the most cheerful person
223
00:09:15,532 --> 00:09:17,566
I've ever heard quote Hitler.
224
00:09:17,618 --> 00:09:20,402
So Hooli's entire
intellectual property claim
225
00:09:20,454 --> 00:09:22,371
boils down to three simple questions.
226
00:09:22,406 --> 00:09:25,123
Did your work on Pied
Piper at any time overlap
227
00:09:25,159 --> 00:09:27,709
with your scope of work or Hooli business?
228
00:09:27,745 --> 00:09:29,378
Uh, no.
229
00:09:29,413 --> 00:09:31,463
Did you ever do work on
Pied Piper on Hooli time?
230
00:09:31,498 --> 00:09:32,714
Uh, no.
231
00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:35,000
And at no time did you
ever use Hooli equipment
232
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:37,085
to develop Pied Piper in any way?
233
00:09:37,087 --> 00:09:38,336
No, never.
234
00:09:38,389 --> 00:09:40,172
We're on our way then. You just tell that
235
00:09:40,224 --> 00:09:42,307
honestly to the court, and we're home free.
236
00:09:42,342 --> 00:09:43,592
Okay.
237
00:09:43,594 --> 00:09:45,560
Unless, of course, you've offered
238
00:09:45,596 --> 00:09:47,596
a conflicting version of that to anyone...
239
00:09:47,648 --> 00:09:50,682
A friend, your parents,
240
00:09:50,734 --> 00:09:52,484
a girlfriend.
241
00:09:52,519 --> 00:09:55,070
No, no, and not possible.
242
00:09:55,105 --> 00:09:57,939
I haven't had a girlfriend
in, like, three years.
243
00:09:57,991 --> 00:09:59,324
A boyfriend?
244
00:09:59,359 --> 00:10:03,111
No. I'm not gay, just busy.
245
00:10:03,163 --> 00:10:05,113
We're not litigating your sexuality.
246
00:10:05,115 --> 00:10:06,498
That's good, yeah.
247
00:10:06,533 --> 00:10:08,583
It's a good thing, too, because if we were,
248
00:10:08,619 --> 00:10:10,836
we'd all end up in prison. Am I right?
249
00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,254
No offense.
250
00:10:12,289 --> 00:10:14,456
Here, I did a first pass.
Let me know what you think.
251
00:10:14,458 --> 00:10:18,093
Just a few questions for you to
ask me while I'm on the stand.
252
00:10:18,128 --> 00:10:20,045
It's rough clay. We can shape it as we go.
253
00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:23,048
You realize I have no intention
of ever putting you on the stand?
254
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,933
What? Why not?
255
00:10:24,968 --> 00:10:27,436
Well, I just don't think you
have anything to offer the case.
256
00:10:27,471 --> 00:10:30,272
They're trying to say that
Pied Piper was created at Hooli,
257
00:10:30,307 --> 00:10:33,191
whereas I'm living proof that it
was created here in my incubator.
258
00:10:33,227 --> 00:10:36,311
I nurtured Richard like a little baby.
259
00:10:36,363 --> 00:10:41,116
I was his patron, like
the Borgias with Da Vinci.
260
00:10:41,151 --> 00:10:43,869
Actually, the Medici
were Da Vinci's patrons.
261
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:46,071
The Borgias poisoned people.
262
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:48,039
Say Medici again. Medici.
263
00:10:48,075 --> 00:10:49,958
- Shut the fuck up.
- That's how you pronounce it.
264
00:10:49,993 --> 00:10:52,410
Let's be clear, okay? The burden of proof
265
00:10:52,463 --> 00:10:54,412
falls on Hooli here. And they have none.
266
00:10:54,465 --> 00:10:57,132
You have a Barrett 50-caliber
rifle at your disposal
267
00:10:57,167 --> 00:11:00,168
that you can use to shoot Gavin
Belson in the goddamn face.
268
00:11:00,220 --> 00:11:03,338
And you're not gonna use it? What
kind of fucking attorney are you?
269
00:11:03,390 --> 00:11:06,808
Well, technically, I can't
refer to myself as an attorney
270
00:11:06,844 --> 00:11:08,477
until I'm reinstated
271
00:11:08,512 --> 00:11:11,480
and make restitution
to my victims' families.
272
00:11:11,515 --> 00:11:13,598
I'm a lawyer. And I'm a good one.
273
00:11:13,650 --> 00:11:16,518
And if you know one end of a
Barrett 50-cal from the other,
274
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:18,737
I'll eat a bowl of shit.
275
00:11:18,772 --> 00:11:21,823
Did you get a taste for
that on the inside, hmm?
276
00:11:37,591 --> 00:11:40,509
Hey, guys, it's been almost two weeks
277
00:11:40,544 --> 00:11:42,928
since the mother condor
has been to the nest.
278
00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:45,463
Do you think something
may be wrong with the egg?
279
00:11:45,516 --> 00:11:48,517
Something is. It's on our website.
280
00:11:48,552 --> 00:11:50,435
No, really. I mean,
281
00:11:50,470 --> 00:11:53,104
I think maybe I should call the
museum, see if this is normal.
282
00:11:53,140 --> 00:11:55,223
Jared, you want that
egg to be alive, right?
283
00:11:55,275 --> 00:11:57,025
- Of course.
- Well, right now,
284
00:11:57,060 --> 00:11:59,945
because you don't know whether it
is or not, it exists in both states,
285
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,730
like Schrodinger's cat.
286
00:12:01,782 --> 00:12:03,198
Like what?
287
00:12:03,233 --> 00:12:04,900
It's a quantum mechanics thought experiment
288
00:12:04,952 --> 00:12:07,035
that an Austrian physicist came up with
289
00:12:07,070 --> 00:12:08,870
to help understand quantum states.
290
00:12:08,906 --> 00:12:10,872
So he imagined putting a cat
291
00:12:10,908 --> 00:12:12,874
into a box with poisoned food.
292
00:12:12,910 --> 00:12:15,493
There's a 50/50 chance the cat eats it.
293
00:12:15,546 --> 00:12:17,245
That does sound rather Austrian.
294
00:12:17,247 --> 00:12:19,631
So, according to Schrodinger,
if you open the box
295
00:12:19,666 --> 00:12:21,716
and confirm that the cat is dead,
296
00:12:21,752 --> 00:12:24,586
then in a sense, you've killed the cat.
297
00:12:24,638 --> 00:12:27,389
Or if you call the museum
and get the information,
298
00:12:27,424 --> 00:12:29,257
then you've killed the egg.
299
00:12:29,309 --> 00:12:32,010
No, that's silly.
300
00:12:32,062 --> 00:12:34,062
Is it?
301
00:12:34,097 --> 00:12:35,931
Okay.
302
00:12:35,983 --> 00:12:39,100
I'm just gonna think about it for a minute.
303
00:12:42,689 --> 00:12:44,189
Richard.
304
00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:45,240
Yeah?
305
00:12:45,275 --> 00:12:47,065
- We have a problem.
- What's up?
306
00:12:47,361 --> 00:12:49,945
You and I are going into
arbitration tomorrow.
307
00:12:49,997 --> 00:12:52,113
I need you to look me right in the eye
308
00:12:52,115 --> 00:12:53,615
and tell me why you've been lying to me.
309
00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:55,667
I haven't been lying to you.
310
00:12:55,702 --> 00:12:58,954
You told me you haven't had
a girlfriend for three years.
311
00:12:59,006 --> 00:13:02,624
I have found at least 15
emails to Nelson Bighetti
312
00:13:02,626 --> 00:13:05,510
in the last year where
you reference a girlfriend.
313
00:13:05,545 --> 00:13:07,879
"Spent the day in bed with my girlfriend."
314
00:13:07,931 --> 00:13:10,015
"A homeless guy in the coffee shop
315
00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:11,716
almost stole my girlfriend."
316
00:13:11,768 --> 00:13:14,219
It's a joke. Big Head and I...
317
00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:16,805
We call my laptop my girlfriend
318
00:13:16,857 --> 00:13:19,474
because it's the only warm thing
319
00:13:19,476 --> 00:13:22,978
that's touched my crotch in a little while.
320
00:13:23,897 --> 00:13:28,316
So when you said, quote,
321
00:13:28,318 --> 00:13:30,735
"My girlfriend shit the bed last night,"
322
00:13:30,787 --> 00:13:32,320
that was your laptop?
323
00:13:32,322 --> 00:13:34,322
Laptop, yeah.
324
00:13:34,374 --> 00:13:36,074
Well, that's good to hear.
325
00:13:37,411 --> 00:13:39,744
Oh, wait a minute.
326
00:13:39,796 --> 00:13:41,963
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
327
00:13:41,999 --> 00:13:44,916
Now listen to this.
328
00:13:44,968 --> 00:13:48,553
April 10th, 11:14 P.M.
329
00:13:48,588 --> 00:13:51,339
"Taking my girlfriend to the Apple store."
330
00:13:51,341 --> 00:13:53,008
April 12th, 3:42 P.M.
331
00:13:53,010 --> 00:13:55,060
"Picking my girlfriend up at the mall."
332
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:56,978
Yeah, so?
333
00:13:57,014 --> 00:14:00,015
So your laptop was in the
shop for three days, right?
334
00:14:00,017 --> 00:14:01,683
The 10th through the 12th, right?
335
00:14:01,735 --> 00:14:02,851
Yeah, and?
336
00:14:02,903 --> 00:14:05,236
April 11th, 2:48 P.M.
337
00:14:05,272 --> 00:14:08,690
"Ran a test of the perceptual
modeler during lunch,
338
00:14:08,692 --> 00:14:12,027
made a few tweaks and, wow, it's
working on a whole new level."
339
00:14:12,029 --> 00:14:14,279
Yeah, that just means
that it's going great,
340
00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:15,914
that it's working really well.
341
00:14:15,999 --> 00:14:17,365
Richard, Richard,
342
00:14:17,367 --> 00:14:20,035
you didn't have your
laptop with you at Hooli.
343
00:14:20,087 --> 00:14:22,037
What computer did you use
344
00:14:22,089 --> 00:14:24,622
to run that test that day?
345
00:14:24,675 --> 00:14:26,875
Oh, shit.
346
00:14:26,877 --> 00:14:29,260
Richard, you didn't use a Hooli computer?
347
00:14:29,296 --> 00:14:32,097
Tell me that you didn't use
a Hooli fucking computer.
348
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:33,932
I... I don't know. Yeah, yeah, okay.
349
00:14:33,967 --> 00:14:35,266
Yes, I... I think I did.
350
00:14:35,302 --> 00:14:37,385
Fuck, I mean, I just used
it once though, right?
351
00:14:37,437 --> 00:14:39,471
I mean, that's not...
That's not a big deal.
352
00:14:39,523 --> 00:14:42,607
It's a huge deal. We're done. That's it.
353
00:14:42,642 --> 00:14:44,275
- What's it?
- God damn it.
354
00:14:44,311 --> 00:14:46,861
Well, under the law, Hooli
can lay claim to the underlying
355
00:14:46,897 --> 00:14:49,364
intellectual property
that makes up Pied Piper.
356
00:14:49,399 --> 00:14:52,067
So we're fucked now, is that
it? We're totally fucked?
357
00:14:52,069 --> 00:14:54,235
Well, I mean, it all
depends on whether or not
358
00:14:54,287 --> 00:14:56,454
the attorneys at Hooli figure out
359
00:14:56,490 --> 00:14:58,990
that your girlfriend is your laptop.
360
00:14:59,042 --> 00:15:01,743
Are you telling us this entire case
361
00:15:01,795 --> 00:15:04,879
hinges on people believing
that Richard had a girlfriend?
362
00:15:08,502 --> 00:15:11,169
We are fucked.
363
00:15:22,983 --> 00:15:25,433
All right, this is
gonna be a long two days,
364
00:15:25,435 --> 00:15:28,436
so let's try to keep things brief.
365
00:15:28,438 --> 00:15:30,822
Your Honor, I think I can
help speed things along.
366
00:15:30,857 --> 00:15:32,824
We are willing to concede
367
00:15:32,859 --> 00:15:36,111
to all the numerous counts
brought by Mr. Belson,
368
00:15:36,113 --> 00:15:38,363
except the ones regarding the ownership
369
00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:40,031
of intellectual property.
370
00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:41,282
Is that right?
371
00:15:41,334 --> 00:15:43,418
On the non-solicit violation,
372
00:15:43,453 --> 00:15:45,370
my client is willing to concede
373
00:15:45,455 --> 00:15:47,539
that Donald Dunn was improperly hired.
374
00:15:47,591 --> 00:15:51,843
And on the unjust enrichment charge,
375
00:15:51,878 --> 00:15:55,013
Richard will agree to repay Hooli
376
00:15:55,048 --> 00:15:58,800
39 dollars and 99 cents
377
00:15:58,802 --> 00:16:00,769
for the phone charger
378
00:16:00,804 --> 00:16:02,804
that he took home, and so on.
379
00:16:02,856 --> 00:16:04,806
Thank you, Mr. Monahan,
380
00:16:04,858 --> 00:16:06,724
for accelerating the process.
381
00:16:06,777 --> 00:16:09,811
Okay, let's start this. Plaintiff?
382
00:16:09,863 --> 00:16:12,564
Okay, Richard, here it goes.
383
00:16:12,616 --> 00:16:14,949
They call you first, we're toast.
384
00:16:14,985 --> 00:16:16,484
I think I'm gonna puke.
385
00:16:16,536 --> 00:16:20,655
Your Honor, we'd like to
call our first witness.
386
00:16:22,492 --> 00:16:24,325
We would like to call
387
00:16:24,327 --> 00:16:27,912
Nelson Bighetti, a.k.a. Big Head.
388
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:34,385
Wait, are you sure? 'Cause
it says "no admittan..."
389
00:16:34,421 --> 00:16:36,004
Okay.
390
00:16:36,006 --> 00:16:39,007
Yeah, you were right. It's this one.
391
00:16:39,059 --> 00:16:41,309
Is that me?
392
00:16:41,344 --> 00:16:43,011
I'm sorry, Richard.
393
00:16:45,065 --> 00:16:48,433
Firstly, sir, let me say it is a privilege
394
00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,852
to be speaking to someone
as accomplished as you.
395
00:16:50,904 --> 00:16:52,020
Okay.
396
00:16:52,072 --> 00:16:53,271
You were one of the earliest members
397
00:16:53,323 --> 00:16:55,156
of the Pied Piper team, were you not?
398
00:16:55,192 --> 00:16:56,858
- Uh...
- And since your departure,
399
00:16:56,910 --> 00:16:58,827
your rise has been meteoric.
400
00:16:58,862 --> 00:17:02,280
Haven't you received three
Hooli promotions in a month?
401
00:17:02,332 --> 00:17:05,033
Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess that is right.
402
00:17:05,035 --> 00:17:07,585
It seems like everything you touch
403
00:17:07,621 --> 00:17:10,338
is made dramatically better, Mr. Bighetti.
404
00:17:10,373 --> 00:17:13,541
You make a meaningful
and crucial contribution
405
00:17:13,543 --> 00:17:16,177
to everything you do, do you not?
406
00:17:16,213 --> 00:17:18,046
Wa... wait.
407
00:17:18,098 --> 00:17:20,548
I'm... I'm sorry. Do I not?
408
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,218
Are you asking if I do do that
409
00:17:23,270 --> 00:17:25,136
or if I don't do that?
410
00:17:25,188 --> 00:17:26,721
This is amazing. They have nothing.
411
00:17:26,773 --> 00:17:28,723
It's a desperate play.
412
00:17:28,725 --> 00:17:30,191
They're trying to build him up,
413
00:17:30,227 --> 00:17:32,644
make it seem like he was a
crucial part of Pied Piper.
414
00:17:32,696 --> 00:17:34,646
It's a Hail Mary. They have nothing.
415
00:17:34,698 --> 00:17:38,616
Because if I don't not do that,
416
00:17:38,652 --> 00:17:40,285
isn't that the same as...
417
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,237
- Let's move on.
- Okay.
418
00:17:42,239 --> 00:17:44,906
Is it not true that Wired...
419
00:17:44,908 --> 00:17:47,375
I'll rephrase.
420
00:17:47,410 --> 00:17:51,129
Did Wired Magazine run
a cover story on you?
421
00:17:51,164 --> 00:17:52,747
Yes or no?
422
00:17:52,799 --> 00:17:54,632
Oh, yes.
423
00:17:54,668 --> 00:17:57,085
That did happen, yes.
424
00:17:58,421 --> 00:18:00,505
I think I just made a mistake.
425
00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:01,839
That was the museum.
426
00:18:01,892 --> 00:18:04,676
I decided to call and check on the condor,
427
00:18:04,728 --> 00:18:07,395
and they said that it's very unlikely
428
00:18:07,430 --> 00:18:09,597
that the condor egg is still alive.
429
00:18:09,649 --> 00:18:11,432
But my phone call itself
430
00:18:11,468 --> 00:18:14,185
drew their attention to
their low viewing numbers
431
00:18:14,237 --> 00:18:16,738
and they've decided to
take down the cameras today.
432
00:18:16,773 --> 00:18:18,740
So by making the phone call,
433
00:18:18,775 --> 00:18:21,109
you've most likely killed the condor egg.
434
00:18:21,111 --> 00:18:23,278
Oh, come on, I mean, that Schrodinger
stuff's all just theoretical.
435
00:18:23,330 --> 00:18:24,779
It doesn't apply here.
436
00:18:24,831 --> 00:18:26,781
- Doesn't it?
- I mean, look at Richard.
437
00:18:26,783 --> 00:18:29,534
He didn't know that he had
tested on a Hooli computer
438
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:33,121
until Monahan opened
that box of emails, right?
439
00:18:33,123 --> 00:18:35,290
So Richard was both innocent and guilty,
440
00:18:35,342 --> 00:18:38,209
but as soon as Monahan opened that box,
441
00:18:38,345 --> 00:18:40,762
it made Richard guilty.
442
00:18:40,797 --> 00:18:42,630
But, I mean, by that logic,
443
00:18:42,632 --> 00:18:45,767
anyone who goes to an
open-casket funeral is a murderer.
444
00:18:45,802 --> 00:18:47,936
You are one dark motherfucker, Jared.
445
00:18:49,439 --> 00:18:52,190
So, Mr. Bighetti, you have stated
446
00:18:52,225 --> 00:18:54,892
that you didn't have
447
00:18:54,945 --> 00:18:58,313
anything to do with Pied Piper.
448
00:18:58,398 --> 00:18:59,530
No.
449
00:18:59,566 --> 00:19:01,482
I suppose you'd also say
450
00:19:01,484 --> 00:19:04,369
that you had nothing to
do with Hooli XYZ either.
451
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:05,820
No, not really.
452
00:19:05,872 --> 00:19:08,323
And what about the Hooli
AIDS and Cancer Societies
453
00:19:08,375 --> 00:19:11,709
of which you were president? Did
you have anything to do with those?
454
00:19:11,745 --> 00:19:14,128
Honestly, not really. I actually remember
455
00:19:14,164 --> 00:19:16,047
when they told me I got the AIDS thing,
456
00:19:16,082 --> 00:19:19,801
for just a second I thought they
were telling me that I had AIDS.
457
00:19:19,836 --> 00:19:21,669
But then I realized, no, I was just
458
00:19:21,721 --> 00:19:24,005
the president of the AIDS thingy.
459
00:19:24,007 --> 00:19:27,675
But for a second it was pretty scary there.
460
00:19:27,727 --> 00:19:30,144
You see, Your Honor, Nelson Bighetti
461
00:19:30,180 --> 00:19:32,413
is pathologically modest.
462
00:19:32,449 --> 00:19:36,150
While he humbly denies
credit, the record shows
463
00:19:36,186 --> 00:19:39,103
that he had everything to do
with all of these achievements.
464
00:19:39,155 --> 00:19:42,824
It may be possible that
Nelson actually believes
465
00:19:42,859 --> 00:19:45,860
he didn't have that much to do with
the founding of Pied Piper either.
466
00:19:45,862 --> 00:19:46,944
'Cause...
467
00:19:46,997 --> 00:19:49,163
But it is painfully obvious
468
00:19:49,199 --> 00:19:50,832
that he had a huge hand in it.
469
00:19:50,867 --> 00:19:53,918
No further questions, Your Honor.
470
00:19:53,953 --> 00:19:57,338
May I say, Mr. Bighetti,
how refreshing it is
471
00:19:57,374 --> 00:20:00,375
to finally encounter
someone in the tech community
472
00:20:00,377 --> 00:20:04,212
who is so free of pretension and ego?
473
00:20:06,266 --> 00:20:08,299
Well, that was troubling.
474
00:20:08,351 --> 00:20:10,051
Yeah, what was that?
475
00:20:10,103 --> 00:20:12,353
It's just that he scored big
points with the judge in there.
476
00:20:12,389 --> 00:20:14,555
So what's our plan? Do we go in there
477
00:20:14,607 --> 00:20:16,474
and cross the shit out of him?
478
00:20:16,526 --> 00:20:18,893
Tear him a new hole in his butt?
479
00:20:18,895 --> 00:20:20,561
Let's just remind ourselves here
480
00:20:20,563 --> 00:20:22,897
that he gave me the phone and
made this whole thing possible.
481
00:20:22,899 --> 00:20:24,732
So let's take it easy on him.
482
00:20:24,734 --> 00:20:26,901
Yeah, I don't think shredding
him is the right way to go either.
483
00:20:26,953 --> 00:20:28,569
Thank you. It could backfire,
484
00:20:28,621 --> 00:20:30,822
turn the judge against us.
485
00:20:30,874 --> 00:20:32,907
I have something else in mind.
486
00:20:32,909 --> 00:20:36,044
Mr. Bachmann, are you
still prepared to testify?
487
00:20:37,247 --> 00:20:38,830
Fuck yes, I am.
488
00:20:38,882 --> 00:20:41,132
Mr. Bachmann.
489
00:20:41,167 --> 00:20:42,750
Yes, sir?
490
00:20:42,752 --> 00:20:46,003
You are the owner and sole proprietor
491
00:20:46,056 --> 00:20:48,506
of the Palo Alto-based hacker hostel
492
00:20:48,558 --> 00:20:51,142
in which Mr. Hendricks and Mr. Bighetti
493
00:20:51,177 --> 00:20:53,094
both resided. Is that correct?
494
00:20:53,096 --> 00:20:55,596
Yes, sir. That is, in fact, correct.
495
00:20:55,648 --> 00:20:57,932
It has been called
496
00:20:57,984 --> 00:21:00,401
the Garden of Tech Eden.
497
00:21:00,437 --> 00:21:03,438
Is it also fair to say
that every instinct you have
498
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:05,406
as a businessman
499
00:21:05,442 --> 00:21:07,692
has been completely and totally wrong?
500
00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:09,610
- Sorry, what?
- You hard of hearing, Mr. Bachmann?
501
00:21:09,612 --> 00:21:10,564
No, I've heard everything...
502
00:21:10,565 --> 00:21:12,122
Aren't you considered a joke in this town?
503
00:21:12,248 --> 00:21:14,916
I don't quite know where
you're going with this.
504
00:21:14,951 --> 00:21:16,918
Nor do I. Can you tell us
505
00:21:16,953 --> 00:21:19,120
where you're headed here, Mr. Monahan?
506
00:21:19,122 --> 00:21:21,122
Your Honor, if you are to accept
507
00:21:21,124 --> 00:21:23,124
Hooli's reverence for Mr. Bighetti
508
00:21:23,126 --> 00:21:24,625
as proof that he's a genius,
509
00:21:24,677 --> 00:21:26,377
then you must also accept
510
00:21:26,429 --> 00:21:28,796
Mr. Bachmann's reverence for Mr. Bighetti
511
00:21:28,848 --> 00:21:30,765
as proof that he's a moron.
512
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,633
I'm simply establishing
513
00:21:32,685 --> 00:21:35,720
this type of logic, Your
Honor, cuts both ways.
514
00:21:35,772 --> 00:21:37,688
I see. I'll allow it.
515
00:21:37,724 --> 00:21:39,474
Really? Because I don't...
516
00:21:39,526 --> 00:21:41,476
Mr. Bachmann, you have incubated
517
00:21:41,528 --> 00:21:43,561
a seemingly endless string
518
00:21:43,613 --> 00:21:46,364
of patently unsuccessful apps, haven't you?
519
00:21:46,449 --> 00:21:48,699
No. No, that is not correct.
520
00:21:48,735 --> 00:21:51,652
I incubated Pied Piper.
I saw the value in that.
521
00:21:51,654 --> 00:21:53,154
Oh, did you? Isn't it true
522
00:21:53,156 --> 00:21:55,406
that you were about to evict Mr. Hendricks
523
00:21:55,458 --> 00:21:58,075
until he became the
subject of a bidding war?
524
00:21:58,128 --> 00:22:00,161
You disliked Pied Piper...
525
00:22:00,163 --> 00:22:03,047
The one app in your
hostel that showed promise.
526
00:22:03,082 --> 00:22:04,882
Well, I think that's a
bit harsh. I mean, ev...
527
00:22:04,918 --> 00:22:06,918
In fact, you tried to
encourage Mr. Hendricks
528
00:22:06,970 --> 00:22:09,720
to change his app to be more like
529
00:22:09,756 --> 00:22:11,672
Mr. Bighetti's horrendous app
530
00:22:11,724 --> 00:22:13,724
called Nip Alert. Isn't that true?
531
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,260
Well, yes, I thought Nip
Alert showed great promise.
532
00:22:16,312 --> 00:22:18,095
It did not show great promise.
533
00:22:18,148 --> 00:22:20,231
What it showed was the location
534
00:22:20,266 --> 00:22:23,518
of nearby women possessing erect nipples.
535
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,687
And as such, Mr. Bighetti's
grotesque creation
536
00:22:26,739 --> 00:22:29,190
was passed over by every investor
537
00:22:29,192 --> 00:22:31,576
in this town except you,
538
00:22:31,611 --> 00:22:33,361
because it was perverted.
539
00:22:33,363 --> 00:22:35,696
Well, I'll admit that... I'll concede
540
00:22:35,748 --> 00:22:37,698
that the cultural moment
541
00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:39,250
may have passed, but at the time...
542
00:22:39,285 --> 00:22:42,870
No, at the time, it was as
misogynistic as it is now,
543
00:22:42,872 --> 00:22:44,789
wasn't it, Mr. Bachmann?
544
00:22:44,841 --> 00:22:47,375
It... yes, it had some major problems...
545
00:22:47,427 --> 00:22:50,211
Some major problems? Mr.
Bachmann, a few moments ago
546
00:22:50,263 --> 00:22:52,096
you said that it showed great promise.
547
00:22:52,131 --> 00:22:54,131
You said that. I can
have the court reporter
548
00:22:54,184 --> 00:22:55,550
read it back to you, Mr. Bachmann.
549
00:22:55,602 --> 00:22:57,552
I don't need her to read it
back to me. I can remember...
550
00:22:57,554 --> 00:22:59,554
Nip Alert was poorly conceived
551
00:22:59,556 --> 00:23:01,889
and riddled with bugs, wasn't it?
552
00:23:01,891 --> 00:23:03,691
Well, all apps in the beginning...
553
00:23:03,726 --> 00:23:05,193
Mr. Bachmann, answer the question.
554
00:23:05,228 --> 00:23:07,061
You liked Nip Alert, and it was terrible.
555
00:23:07,063 --> 00:23:08,396
- No, I... I...
- Didn't you?
556
00:23:08,448 --> 00:23:11,482
- Liking it...
- Mr. Bachmann, you liked it, didn't you?
557
00:23:11,534 --> 00:23:13,951
Okay, yes, yes! Fine! Yes, I liked it,
558
00:23:13,987 --> 00:23:16,787
even though it was a terrible app
and it had no market potential.
559
00:23:16,823 --> 00:23:18,956
I was high when he pitched
it and I like nipples...
560
00:23:18,992 --> 00:23:20,408
Thank you, Mr. Bachmann.
561
00:23:20,460 --> 00:23:23,244
It was a buggy, rapey piece
of shit designed by an idiot.
562
00:23:23,246 --> 00:23:25,329
- Mr. Bachmann, thank you very much.
- It was so bad
563
00:23:25,381 --> 00:23:27,582
that the first time that Richard
tried to boot it up on his system,
564
00:23:27,634 --> 00:23:30,801
it crashed his laptop. It was
in the shop for three days.
565
00:23:30,837 --> 00:23:33,421
'Cause it was a piece of shit!
566
00:23:35,425 --> 00:23:37,925
That...
567
00:23:37,927 --> 00:23:41,095
I mean, among other things
568
00:23:41,097 --> 00:23:43,097
that weren't that
569
00:23:43,099 --> 00:23:45,099
were reasons why it was bad.
570
00:23:45,101 --> 00:23:46,601
No more questions, Your Honor.
571
00:23:46,653 --> 00:23:48,853
What the fuck is going on here?
572
00:23:51,241 --> 00:23:53,658
I don't know what
happened. He got in my head.
573
00:23:53,693 --> 00:23:56,244
It's a very uncharacteristic error.
574
00:23:58,281 --> 00:24:00,831
They're calling you next, Richard.
575
00:24:00,867 --> 00:24:02,950
They want you on the stand in 10 minutes.
576
00:24:02,952 --> 00:24:05,536
Great. So they figured it out.
577
00:24:05,588 --> 00:24:07,338
We're fucked, aren't we?
578
00:24:07,373 --> 00:24:08,956
It looks that way.
579
00:24:08,958 --> 00:24:11,709
Damn it, they're gonna ask me
if I ran a test of Pied Piper
580
00:24:11,761 --> 00:24:14,011
on a Hooli computer, and
I'm gonna have to say yes.
581
00:24:14,047 --> 00:24:17,598
What if you said no?
582
00:24:17,634 --> 00:24:19,100
What are you talking about?
583
00:24:19,135 --> 00:24:21,185
Are you saying I should lie
on the stand or something?
584
00:24:21,220 --> 00:24:25,056
Gentlemen, the less I know
about this, the better.
585
00:24:25,108 --> 00:24:27,058
Well, then it appears we're in good hands,
586
00:24:27,110 --> 00:24:29,477
because you don't seem to know shit.
587
00:24:29,479 --> 00:24:32,196
You're a mean and terrible attorney.
588
00:24:32,231 --> 00:24:34,398
I'm not an attorney.
589
00:24:36,152 --> 00:24:37,785
Richard, all they know
590
00:24:37,820 --> 00:24:39,954
is that you didn't have your laptop
591
00:24:39,989 --> 00:24:41,405
when you ran that test,
592
00:24:41,457 --> 00:24:43,491
so just tell them that
you borrowed my laptop
593
00:24:43,543 --> 00:24:45,826
or you came home for
lunch and used my computer.
594
00:24:45,828 --> 00:24:49,246
Whatever you say, I'll get back
on the stand and then back you up.
595
00:24:49,299 --> 00:24:51,248
That would be committing perjury.
596
00:24:51,301 --> 00:24:52,917
That would be lying under oath.
597
00:24:52,969 --> 00:24:55,002
If you don't lie, Richard,
598
00:24:55,054 --> 00:24:56,554
you lose.
599
00:24:56,589 --> 00:24:59,507
We lose everything...
600
00:24:59,509 --> 00:25:01,008
The company,
601
00:25:01,010 --> 00:25:04,645
90% of what could potentially
be a billion dollars...
602
00:25:04,681 --> 00:25:06,897
I mean, you know, because I have 10%.
603
00:25:06,933 --> 00:25:08,983
I know. God damn it, I know.
604
00:25:09,018 --> 00:25:11,686
Richard, do the right thing here.
605
00:25:11,688 --> 00:25:14,522
Lie on the stand.
606
00:25:14,574 --> 00:25:16,357
Mr. Hendricks,
607
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,527
you are heterosexual, yes?
608
00:25:19,579 --> 00:25:21,245
Uh, yes.
609
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,698
How long has it been since
you were in a relationship
610
00:25:23,750 --> 00:25:25,449
with a woman, Mr. Hendricks?
611
00:25:25,501 --> 00:25:27,668
Two years? Three?
612
00:25:27,704 --> 00:25:31,288
Uh, yeah, that sounds about right, I guess.
613
00:25:31,341 --> 00:25:33,007
You're under oath.
614
00:25:33,042 --> 00:25:35,793
Um, longer.
615
00:25:35,845 --> 00:25:39,213
So you've definitely had no girlfriend
616
00:25:39,265 --> 00:25:41,716
in the past three years?
617
00:25:41,718 --> 00:25:45,102
This seems needlessly cruel. We all get it.
618
00:25:45,138 --> 00:25:48,189
Mr. Hendricks, when you
refer to a girlfriend
619
00:25:48,224 --> 00:25:50,391
in these emails to Mr. Bighetti,
620
00:25:50,393 --> 00:25:52,059
to what are you referring?
621
00:25:52,111 --> 00:25:53,778
My laptop computer.
622
00:25:53,813 --> 00:25:56,480
The same laptop that
Mr. Bachmann just told us
623
00:25:56,532 --> 00:25:58,866
was in a shop for three days
624
00:25:58,901 --> 00:26:02,820
from April 10th to the 12th of last year?
625
00:26:02,872 --> 00:26:05,239
Yes. Can we get to the point, please?
626
00:26:05,241 --> 00:26:08,542
Mr. Hendricks, did you at any time
627
00:26:08,578 --> 00:26:12,163
use a Hooli computer to test and/or alter
628
00:26:12,215 --> 00:26:14,582
your Pied Piper algorithm?
629
00:26:17,303 --> 00:26:19,553
You're under oath.
630
00:26:19,589 --> 00:26:21,422
I just...
631
00:26:22,725 --> 00:26:25,843
I just wanted to be different.
632
00:26:25,895 --> 00:26:29,647
I wanted Pied Piper to be different.
633
00:26:29,682 --> 00:26:33,184
But if this company is built on lies,
634
00:26:33,236 --> 00:26:36,604
then we're really not
much different than Hooli.
635
00:26:36,606 --> 00:26:38,773
The law says
636
00:26:38,775 --> 00:26:40,691
that I lose everything...
637
00:26:40,743 --> 00:26:43,360
My whole company, everything
that I worked for...
638
00:26:43,413 --> 00:26:45,496
Because I used one Hooli computer
639
00:26:45,531 --> 00:26:50,334
to test and modify one block.
640
00:26:50,369 --> 00:26:52,203
Is that right?
641
00:26:52,255 --> 00:26:54,121
I mean, is that... Is that fair?
642
00:26:54,207 --> 00:26:56,957
To me, if the system says that's fair,
643
00:26:56,959 --> 00:27:00,961
then I guess I'm probably
not meant to be a part of it.
644
00:27:01,013 --> 00:27:03,531
Mr. Hendricks, please answer the question.
645
00:27:03,566 --> 00:27:06,667
Did you at any time use a Hooli computer...
646
00:27:06,702 --> 00:27:08,185
Yes. Yeah, I did.
647
00:27:08,221 --> 00:27:10,221
I made a mistake and I did.
648
00:27:10,273 --> 00:27:12,273
I used a Hooli computer
649
00:27:12,308 --> 00:27:15,443
to work on my algorithm one time.
650
00:27:15,478 --> 00:27:18,813
And so here you go.
651
00:27:18,865 --> 00:27:21,649
It's okay, Richard. You don't
have to protect me anymore.
652
00:27:21,701 --> 00:27:23,367
I'm his girlfriend.
653
00:27:23,402 --> 00:27:25,536
Sit down, Mr. Bachmann.
654
00:27:25,571 --> 00:27:27,738
Judge, objection! I was the one
655
00:27:27,790 --> 00:27:29,657
that was in the shop for those three days
656
00:27:29,709 --> 00:27:32,460
'cause he had hit it so
hard, I needed a doctor.
657
00:27:32,495 --> 00:27:35,045
Sit down, Mr. Bachmann.
658
00:27:36,966 --> 00:27:38,749
Hey, has anyone heard from Richard?
659
00:27:38,801 --> 00:27:41,135
Should I text him to see
how the arbitration's going?
660
00:27:41,170 --> 00:27:43,420
Uh, you can.
661
00:27:43,473 --> 00:27:46,507
But right now it's going
both well and poorly.
662
00:27:46,509 --> 00:27:49,343
And if you get definitive
information back and it's bad,
663
00:27:49,345 --> 00:27:51,395
I could argue that you have
664
00:27:51,430 --> 00:27:54,098
effectively caused us
to lose the arbitration.
665
00:27:54,150 --> 00:27:56,851
Oh, he's taking it down.
666
00:27:58,488 --> 00:28:00,738
All right, I am unclipped.
667
00:28:00,773 --> 00:28:02,356
If you're watching, I'm sorry.
668
00:28:02,408 --> 00:28:04,275
I'm gonna go ahead and leave this egg here.
669
00:28:04,327 --> 00:28:06,827
This camera does need to come down.
670
00:28:06,863 --> 00:28:08,696
That's good. He's leaving the egg.
671
00:28:08,748 --> 00:28:10,781
The bolts are all rusted out here.
672
00:28:12,535 --> 00:28:14,785
You should have never
called that museum, Jared.
673
00:28:14,837 --> 00:28:16,787
They're on there pretty good.
674
00:28:23,763 --> 00:28:25,346
Holy shit.
675
00:28:26,382 --> 00:28:28,349
Jared, you just killed that guy.
676
00:28:30,553 --> 00:28:32,970
I just got a text from Richard.
677
00:28:33,022 --> 00:28:34,438
I'm not gonna read it.
678
00:28:36,349 --> 00:28:37,579
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