1 00:00:00,045 --> 00:00:00,045 [cell door slams] 2 00:00:00,045 --> 00:00:00,153 [theme song playing] 3 00:00:47,117 --> 00:00:48,952 [cell door slams] 4 00:01:04,635 --> 00:01:06,302 [cell door slams] 5 00:01:06,303 --> 00:01:08,659 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com 6 00:01:09,723 --> 00:01:12,558 [in sultry voice] I'd butter your toast. 7 00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:16,813 I'd feed her dog. 8 00:01:18,739 --> 00:01:20,776 I'd zip his sweater. 9 00:01:20,859 --> 00:01:22,027 Mmm. 10 00:01:22,110 --> 00:01:23,111 [in normal voice] See? 11 00:01:23,194 --> 00:01:25,822 It doesn't matter what you say, as long as it's... 12 00:01:25,906 --> 00:01:28,074 [in sultry voice] "I'd blank your blank." 13 00:01:28,158 --> 00:01:29,159 [chuckles] 14 00:01:29,242 --> 00:01:31,953 [in normal voice] It all sounds dirty, always. 15 00:01:32,037 --> 00:01:34,372 [in sultry voice] I'd disembowel his cat. 16 00:01:34,455 --> 00:01:35,791 That is not sexy. 17 00:01:35,874 --> 00:01:37,751 No, she did not say that right. 18 00:01:37,834 --> 00:01:40,253 I'd scratch that eczema. 19 00:01:40,336 --> 00:01:43,048 Oh, she is killing your theory, here, Doggett. 20 00:01:43,131 --> 00:01:45,842 Well, her exception proves the rules, 'cause... 21 00:01:45,926 --> 00:01:48,720 you guys gotta know, my boyfriend, Arlen... 22 00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:50,055 [exhales] 23 00:01:50,138 --> 00:01:52,182 He was the master of it. [moans] 24 00:01:52,265 --> 00:01:56,019 He'd bed you whispering, [in sultry voice] "I'd light your crack pipe"? 25 00:01:56,895 --> 00:01:59,690 I didn't smoke crack. Crack's for coloreds. 26 00:01:59,773 --> 00:02:00,982 - [in normal voice] Oh, is it, now? - N... 27 00:02:02,275 --> 00:02:05,070 African Americans. Crack is for African Americans. 28 00:02:05,153 --> 00:02:06,655 Maybe you should just drive. 29 00:02:06,738 --> 00:02:08,198 I am drivin'. 30 00:02:08,281 --> 00:02:10,408 I gotta say, these cup holders are nice. 31 00:02:10,491 --> 00:02:14,495 The air works. Seats don't smell like hot dog juice. 32 00:02:14,579 --> 00:02:16,832 Maybe we should get all of our terminal inmates 33 00:02:16,915 --> 00:02:18,750 to drive our outdated crap into a quarry. 34 00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:21,044 Gotta give it to the baldy, though. 35 00:02:21,127 --> 00:02:23,504 She had some set of balls. 36 00:02:23,588 --> 00:02:25,674 You know, a man went bald... 37 00:02:25,757 --> 00:02:27,008 and he bawled. 38 00:02:27,092 --> 00:02:28,719 [mimics sobbing] 39 00:02:28,802 --> 00:02:30,846 But then he met a really nice lady who... 40 00:02:30,929 --> 00:02:32,305 She liked a clean head, right? 41 00:02:32,388 --> 00:02:34,766 So he balled her real good. 42 00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,643 So you got "bald," "bawled," and "balled," right? 43 00:02:37,728 --> 00:02:41,397 They all sound alike, but they're all spelled different. 44 00:02:41,481 --> 00:02:42,523 [chuckles] Isn't that wild? 45 00:02:42,607 --> 00:02:44,025 My mom taught me that. 46 00:02:44,109 --> 00:02:46,319 She taught me so many cool things. 47 00:02:50,198 --> 00:02:51,950 Come on, hon. Get it all down. 48 00:02:53,576 --> 00:02:55,286 That's right. 49 00:02:55,370 --> 00:02:56,955 Chug, chug, chug. 50 00:02:58,664 --> 00:03:00,332 Hey! All of it! 51 00:03:02,710 --> 00:03:04,170 Finish that bottle. 52 00:03:04,254 --> 00:03:05,756 [young Pennsatucky grunting] 53 00:03:05,839 --> 00:03:08,508 [Debbie] See for yourself she ain't right in the head. 54 00:03:08,591 --> 00:03:12,262 Never had all what belongs to her, poor thing. 55 00:03:13,304 --> 00:03:15,015 But we take what the Lord gives us. 56 00:03:16,016 --> 00:03:18,977 Anyhow, so's I understand it, 57 00:03:19,060 --> 00:03:21,980 supplemental security income benefits for little Bessie bugs like mine 58 00:03:22,063 --> 00:03:24,732 is $314 a month. 59 00:03:25,817 --> 00:03:27,443 Is that right? 60 00:03:27,527 --> 00:03:28,945 [Maxwell] How many kids are coming for Mother's Day? 61 00:03:29,029 --> 00:03:33,158 A lot. Some of our ladies, they have three, four, seven. 62 00:03:33,241 --> 00:03:34,534 [exhales] 63 00:03:34,617 --> 00:03:35,952 I would have had five. 64 00:03:36,953 --> 00:03:38,371 Or six... 65 00:03:38,454 --> 00:03:41,750 if you count the one that fell out after the night in the caves. 66 00:03:41,833 --> 00:03:42,834 Huh. 67 00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:46,087 Would have been a miracle baby, like Tim Tebow. 68 00:03:46,171 --> 00:03:48,131 Based on the state of your mouth when you came in, 69 00:03:48,214 --> 00:03:50,675 I'm gonna say your baby wasn't on the star athlete track. 70 00:03:50,759 --> 00:03:53,629 Oh, yeah? Well... neither was Tim Tebow. 71 00:03:54,679 --> 00:03:56,139 You know, when his mama was pregnant, 72 00:03:56,222 --> 00:03:57,265 she had the sickness 73 00:03:57,348 --> 00:03:59,142 and the doctors told her not to have the baby, 74 00:03:59,225 --> 00:04:00,726 but she had it anyhow. 75 00:04:00,811 --> 00:04:04,272 And she was on dysentery medicine and in Filipino town. 76 00:04:04,355 --> 00:04:06,242 He wasn't such a great quarterback. 77 00:04:07,275 --> 00:04:08,318 Oh. 78 00:04:08,401 --> 00:04:10,946 Like you so great at football. [scoffs] 79 00:04:11,029 --> 00:04:12,363 I may have kids one day. 80 00:04:12,447 --> 00:04:14,074 One day? You got a time machine? 81 00:04:14,157 --> 00:04:16,034 The women in my family have very young ovaries. 82 00:04:16,117 --> 00:04:17,828 My mother had me at 49. 83 00:04:17,911 --> 00:04:20,121 Her mother had my Uncle Chess, at 52. 84 00:04:20,205 --> 00:04:21,289 I got plenty of time. 85 00:04:21,372 --> 00:04:23,166 We believe what we believe. 86 00:04:23,249 --> 00:04:25,293 You guys, look at this... look at this sale stuff. 87 00:04:25,376 --> 00:04:27,712 We should just bring back all this Cinco de Mayo. 88 00:04:27,838 --> 00:04:28,880 I mean, look. 89 00:04:33,009 --> 00:04:34,928 "Fiesta like there's no mañana." 90 00:04:35,011 --> 00:04:36,512 Seriously. 91 00:04:36,596 --> 00:04:38,932 You know most of the kids are gonna be Mexican, 92 00:04:39,015 --> 00:04:40,266 so make 'em feel at home. 93 00:04:40,350 --> 00:04:42,310 Just get 'em one of these red chili piñatas, 94 00:04:42,393 --> 00:04:45,313 a bunch of these... green candies from St. Patrick's Day, 95 00:04:45,396 --> 00:04:46,731 and we got a party. 96 00:04:46,815 --> 00:04:47,941 Doggett, enough. 97 00:04:48,024 --> 00:04:49,192 The only reason why you're in here 98 00:04:49,275 --> 00:04:51,569 is 'cause we couldn't leave you in the van. 99 00:05:00,871 --> 00:05:02,956 Let's go price the helium tanks. 100 00:05:07,085 --> 00:05:08,503 [exhaling] 101 00:05:11,034 --> 00:05:12,118 You all right? 102 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,288 I'm fine. 103 00:05:13,842 --> 00:05:15,093 [breathing deeply] 104 00:05:15,844 --> 00:05:17,345 Are you havin' a panic attack? 105 00:05:17,929 --> 00:05:19,890 I'm breathing mindfully. 106 00:05:19,973 --> 00:05:21,933 I'm supposed to do it to 108... 107 00:05:22,017 --> 00:05:25,728 and then do it again if I'm not feeling any better... 108 00:05:25,811 --> 00:05:27,605 even though I never feel better. 109 00:05:28,731 --> 00:05:30,691 Now I lost count. Shit! 110 00:05:30,775 --> 00:05:31,817 [groans] 111 00:05:32,194 --> 00:05:33,287 Where did you learn this? 112 00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:35,663 Some magazine. I don't know. 113 00:05:35,665 --> 00:05:37,383 I'm just trying to find some fuckin' peace. 114 00:05:39,436 --> 00:05:42,147 Holy shit, look who's back. 115 00:05:42,230 --> 00:05:43,273 You missed me, right? 116 00:05:43,356 --> 00:05:46,276 - Like a bulldog misses his balls. - [chuckles] 117 00:05:46,359 --> 00:05:47,860 You're in that bunk. 118 00:05:50,029 --> 00:05:51,864 I can't sleep on the top bunk. 119 00:05:51,948 --> 00:05:53,783 - Yeah, well, not the top. - [Anita] Oh, no. Uh-uh. 120 00:05:53,866 --> 00:05:56,035 That's Rosa's bed. Back it up. 121 00:05:56,119 --> 00:05:57,870 DeMarco, she's been assigned to that bunk. 122 00:05:57,954 --> 00:05:59,497 Show some respect for the dead. 123 00:06:07,082 --> 00:06:08,458 [groans] 124 00:06:08,508 --> 00:06:11,136 Red, I know you from the first night I spent in this room, 125 00:06:11,301 --> 00:06:13,595 but you take one more thing down, I'm gonna reopen your head wounds. 126 00:06:13,678 --> 00:06:15,263 Wanna build a shrine to Rosa? 127 00:06:15,347 --> 00:06:17,390 Build it somewhere she had joy... 128 00:06:17,474 --> 00:06:21,644 not on this miserable bed where she lay dying of cancer. 129 00:06:21,728 --> 00:06:23,563 The woman went out like a champ. 130 00:06:24,731 --> 00:06:25,940 Tough fuckin' broad. 131 00:06:26,023 --> 00:06:27,400 You want any of this? 132 00:06:27,484 --> 00:06:29,444 Yeah, the playin' cards. 133 00:06:29,527 --> 00:06:31,738 She was a good card player. 134 00:06:34,991 --> 00:06:36,118 [Sister Ingalls] How you doing, Red? 135 00:06:36,201 --> 00:06:37,994 [Red] Strangest thing... 136 00:06:38,077 --> 00:06:41,213 ever since the assault I speak with this Russian accent. 137 00:06:41,998 --> 00:06:44,000 - You still having headaches? - Yeah. [groans] 138 00:06:45,127 --> 00:06:47,420 Trying to wean myself off the pills. 139 00:06:47,504 --> 00:06:50,298 I can't stand feeling foggy all the time. 140 00:06:51,424 --> 00:06:52,842 You got any on ya? 141 00:06:52,925 --> 00:06:54,969 A few. I've been cheeking them. 142 00:06:56,304 --> 00:06:57,347 Here. 143 00:06:57,779 --> 00:06:58,756 How much you want? 144 00:06:59,097 --> 00:07:00,246 Nothin'. 145 00:07:00,248 --> 00:07:02,644 [chuckles] You don't give anything away for free. 146 00:07:02,727 --> 00:07:04,396 I've turned over a new leaf. 147 00:07:04,911 --> 00:07:06,856 Wait. That's been in your mouth? 148 00:07:07,578 --> 00:07:08,870 Briefly, yes. 149 00:07:09,025 --> 00:07:11,319 Ugh. Shkeeve. No offense. 150 00:07:11,403 --> 00:07:14,030 I only share spit with my man and my babies. 151 00:07:16,283 --> 00:07:17,325 I'll take it. 152 00:07:24,918 --> 00:07:27,963 Mother's Day Fair... expanded visitation... 153 00:07:28,253 --> 00:07:30,922 it fosters the inmates' connection to the outside world. 154 00:07:31,005 --> 00:07:33,550 These women forget they have lives on the outside, 155 00:07:33,633 --> 00:07:34,842 it affects how they behave in here. 156 00:07:34,926 --> 00:07:37,179 Maybe they forget for good reason. 157 00:07:37,262 --> 00:07:40,723 Well, that's your job to worry about now. You're the expert. 158 00:07:40,807 --> 00:07:42,600 Not really. My degree's in cosmetology. 159 00:07:42,684 --> 00:07:43,726 My whole résumé's a lie. 160 00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:45,562 But you would be amazed what ladies will reveal 161 00:07:45,645 --> 00:07:47,230 while you're bleaching their arm hair. 162 00:07:48,148 --> 00:07:51,401 [stammers] I don't know you that well. You're joking, right? 163 00:07:51,484 --> 00:07:53,486 'Cause I just got everything square around here, 164 00:07:53,570 --> 00:07:54,696 and it's been an uphill climb. 165 00:07:54,779 --> 00:07:56,047 So I heard. 166 00:07:56,573 --> 00:07:57,865 Now, what'd you hear? 167 00:07:57,949 --> 00:08:01,703 That you got caught in a shit-storm, but you put up a sturdy umbrella. 168 00:08:01,786 --> 00:08:03,163 Yeah, well, it's starting to leak. 169 00:08:03,246 --> 00:08:07,417 Now I'm doing Madame Shit-Storm's job, along with doing my old job, 170 00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:09,961 which the powers-that-be have yet to fill. 171 00:08:10,044 --> 00:08:11,087 [sighs] 172 00:08:11,171 --> 00:08:12,839 I'm doin' two jobs. 173 00:08:12,922 --> 00:08:15,007 Do you resent that the administration hired me 174 00:08:15,091 --> 00:08:16,968 before finding a replacement for your old job? 175 00:08:18,135 --> 00:08:19,221 Are you analyzin' me? 176 00:08:19,304 --> 00:08:20,347 No. 177 00:08:20,430 --> 00:08:23,225 I just don't want any shade without having been given a shot. 178 00:08:23,308 --> 00:08:24,976 My beef's not with you. 179 00:08:25,059 --> 00:08:26,519 What'd you hear about me? 180 00:08:26,603 --> 00:08:29,231 That you're smart and you're qualified and... 181 00:08:29,314 --> 00:08:30,357 you said yes. 182 00:08:31,316 --> 00:08:33,776 Does my saying yes maybe cancel out the smart part? 183 00:08:34,694 --> 00:08:35,676 How's this? 184 00:08:35,678 --> 00:08:38,755 Welcome to Litchfield, where your services are needed 185 00:08:38,757 --> 00:08:42,303 in both the counseling and hair removal arenas. 186 00:08:42,577 --> 00:08:44,996 These are complicated ladies in a complicated place. 187 00:08:45,079 --> 00:08:46,373 [Taystee] Yo! 188 00:08:46,456 --> 00:08:49,501 Mr. Caputo! That your girlfriend? 189 00:08:49,584 --> 00:08:52,254 I had a feeling you had a thing for the darker berries. 190 00:08:53,588 --> 00:08:55,840 Jefferson, this is Counselor Rogers. 191 00:08:55,923 --> 00:08:58,050 Counselor? What about Mr. Healy? 192 00:08:58,134 --> 00:08:59,135 He's still here. 193 00:08:59,219 --> 00:09:01,596 Huh. This is gonna get interestin'. 194 00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:03,348 Is it? How so? 195 00:09:03,431 --> 00:09:05,182 Jefferson, why don't you go help set up? 196 00:09:05,267 --> 00:09:06,809 Yes, sir, mas'er. 197 00:09:08,811 --> 00:09:10,313 Mr. Caputo, sir. 198 00:09:10,397 --> 00:09:11,398 What do you want, Bennett? 199 00:09:11,481 --> 00:09:12,899 Sir, all the lights in C-Dorm went out, 200 00:09:12,982 --> 00:09:15,151 so I sent some of the girls in electrical down to take a look at it. 201 00:09:15,235 --> 00:09:17,320 They're not girls, Bennett. They're inmates. 202 00:09:17,936 --> 00:09:18,905 Or women. 203 00:09:18,988 --> 00:09:20,240 Or electricians. 204 00:09:20,323 --> 00:09:21,449 What's your point? 205 00:09:22,659 --> 00:09:25,245 Um, well, the lights are back on now. 206 00:09:25,328 --> 00:09:27,622 It's a great story. Thank you for sharing. 207 00:09:29,666 --> 00:09:31,501 - Berdie Rogers, new counselor. - Hi. 208 00:09:31,584 --> 00:09:33,336 Officer Bennett... 209 00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:35,422 is there anything else you'd like to tell us? 210 00:09:35,505 --> 00:09:37,048 Nice to meet you. 211 00:09:41,844 --> 00:09:43,179 What's goin' on there? 212 00:09:43,263 --> 00:09:45,723 [sighs] Nothing. It's nothing. 213 00:09:45,807 --> 00:09:48,476 How about we go on a tour of the dorms in all their well-lit glory? 214 00:09:53,815 --> 00:09:55,817 Everybody says she's got magic. 215 00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:58,903 Did she touch it, too? I wanna know that she touched it. 216 00:09:59,821 --> 00:10:03,575 Mmm-hmm. She touched it. She blessed it. 217 00:10:03,658 --> 00:10:04,659 - [gasps] - Oh, shit. 218 00:10:04,742 --> 00:10:05,868 [inmate] What does that mean? 219 00:10:06,953 --> 00:10:09,163 [gasps] Hasan put a curse on me, didn't he? 220 00:10:09,246 --> 00:10:10,915 That's a cursed egg. 221 00:10:10,998 --> 00:10:13,293 I'll lose a foot. 222 00:10:13,376 --> 00:10:14,919 Bobo will attack all the quail. 223 00:10:15,002 --> 00:10:17,046 It's not a cursed egg. My hand slipped, okay? 224 00:10:17,129 --> 00:10:19,382 Why don't you go get cleaned up, and then we'll start all over again? 225 00:10:19,466 --> 00:10:22,051 We're gonna do a whole thing, okay? Go. 226 00:10:22,134 --> 00:10:25,305 [inmate] I'm all eggy now. It's gonna attract snakes. 227 00:10:25,388 --> 00:10:26,639 I know. That's not good. 228 00:10:27,259 --> 00:10:30,018 Now what does the egg do? You makin' somebody else go away? 229 00:10:30,059 --> 00:10:31,436 I'm making an omelet. 230 00:10:31,519 --> 00:10:33,480 I got no scraps for your hooch today, 231 00:10:33,563 --> 00:10:36,566 and I am still waiting on my jar from the last batch. 232 00:10:36,649 --> 00:10:39,569 Okay, it's comin'. A few more days. It's gonna be good. 233 00:10:39,652 --> 00:10:41,613 Listen, we were thinkin' of doin', like, 234 00:10:41,696 --> 00:10:43,448 a little game booth for the kids, 235 00:10:43,531 --> 00:10:47,284 where they throw Ping-Pong balls into little bowls of water. Win a prize. 236 00:10:47,369 --> 00:10:48,453 Can I borrow some bowls? 237 00:10:48,536 --> 00:10:50,642 Where you gonna get some Ping-Pong balls around here? 238 00:10:50,644 --> 00:10:51,925 Found a bunch in the warehouse. 239 00:10:51,927 --> 00:10:54,912 They're old as fuck and mostly dented, but they'll work. 240 00:10:55,229 --> 00:10:57,044 What are you gonna do for prizes? 241 00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:00,006 Buy some Tootsie Rolls from commissary... 242 00:11:00,089 --> 00:11:01,215 dole them out. 243 00:11:02,384 --> 00:11:03,426 That's nice of you. 244 00:11:03,510 --> 00:11:05,845 Yeah, well, it's y'all's day. 245 00:11:05,928 --> 00:11:08,723 Must be hard as fuck bein' in here when you got kids on the outside. 246 00:11:08,806 --> 00:11:09,849 Your kids comin'? 247 00:11:09,932 --> 00:11:12,935 Yeah... for the first time in a long time. 248 00:11:13,019 --> 00:11:15,813 My tía, she moved back into the city. 249 00:11:15,897 --> 00:11:17,940 Don't forget to call your mother tomorrow. 250 00:11:19,191 --> 00:11:20,359 Oh, my mom's passed. 251 00:11:23,405 --> 00:11:24,781 - I'm sorry. - Yeah. 252 00:11:26,365 --> 00:11:27,617 - Mira, Blanca! - [Blanca] Eh? 253 00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:31,621 Why don't you get this one some of those fruit cocktail-sized bowls? 254 00:11:32,622 --> 00:11:33,623 I won a goldfish once 255 00:11:33,706 --> 00:11:35,332 _ 256 00:11:36,292 --> 00:11:37,334 _ 257 00:11:37,419 --> 00:11:38,920 [speaking English] We gave him, like, Froot Loops to eat. 258 00:11:39,003 --> 00:11:40,379 Like 12 years that thing lived... 259 00:11:40,463 --> 00:11:42,757 until my cousin, Antoni, ate him on a dare. 260 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,175 Fucking asshole. 261 00:11:45,217 --> 00:11:47,386 I'm definitely a carbon monoxide guy. 262 00:11:48,262 --> 00:11:50,723 Put on some tunes, breathe deep, go out easy. 263 00:11:51,849 --> 00:11:53,893 - Maybe pills. - Figures. 264 00:11:53,976 --> 00:11:55,352 What do you mean, "figures"? 265 00:11:55,437 --> 00:11:57,229 Pills are expensive. 266 00:11:58,397 --> 00:11:59,398 But you don't even think about that. 267 00:11:59,482 --> 00:12:02,444 Well, I didn't realize that my hypothetical suicide had a budget. 268 00:12:02,527 --> 00:12:04,236 Some of us have to think about these things. 269 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,322 I make 11 cents an hour. 270 00:12:06,405 --> 00:12:09,116 When I get outta here, I will have no home... 271 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,745 I will have no job... and not a whole lot of prospects. 272 00:12:12,829 --> 00:12:14,914 All the more reason to start thinking economically. 273 00:12:15,752 --> 00:12:17,459 Welcome to the real world, princess. 274 00:12:17,542 --> 00:12:19,376 This is not a healthy discussion. 275 00:12:20,086 --> 00:12:23,297 You know, when you go to a shooting range, you don't have to pay until you leave. 276 00:12:23,531 --> 00:12:25,075 So you can check out a gun... 277 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,927 shoot yourself right there. Wouldn't cost you a cent. 278 00:12:28,970 --> 00:12:30,847 I would like to change the subject, please. 279 00:12:32,431 --> 00:12:35,059 You know, the... hot one's back. 280 00:12:35,142 --> 00:12:37,019 What do you mean, "the hot one"? 281 00:12:37,103 --> 00:12:38,104 Your girlfriend. 282 00:12:39,814 --> 00:12:41,608 The Bettie Page of Litchfield. 283 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:44,486 Alex is back? 284 00:12:46,985 --> 00:12:48,070 I gotta go find her. 285 00:12:48,072 --> 00:12:50,974 - Oh, hey! You're on the clock here. - Well, can I go early? 286 00:12:51,183 --> 00:12:52,076 Sure. 287 00:12:52,159 --> 00:12:54,579 Why don't you grab a happy hour cocktail with her at TGI Fridays? 288 00:12:54,662 --> 00:12:56,902 - You wanna put in for vacation time, too? - Okay, okay, all right. 289 00:12:56,904 --> 00:12:58,683 Finish your fucking job. 290 00:12:59,501 --> 00:13:01,252 It's not like she's goin' anywhere. 291 00:13:01,335 --> 00:13:03,045 And to be honest, she looked a little rough. 292 00:13:04,255 --> 00:13:06,423 It sucks when hot chicks start to cool down. 293 00:13:07,675 --> 00:13:10,678 [man speaking indistinctly on PA] 294 00:13:10,762 --> 00:13:11,888 Okay, okay, listen up. 295 00:13:11,971 --> 00:13:14,348 If you don't have children comin' today, please come back another time. 296 00:13:14,431 --> 00:13:16,601 And for all you mothers, it's a numbers day. 297 00:13:16,684 --> 00:13:17,894 No special request. 298 00:13:17,977 --> 00:13:20,822 I only wanna trim so I look the same as the last time I saw her. 299 00:13:21,105 --> 00:13:23,149 It's called object permanence. 300 00:13:23,232 --> 00:13:25,527 It's also called boring... but you the boss. 301 00:13:26,903 --> 00:13:28,613 And what are we doin' with you today? 302 00:13:28,696 --> 00:13:31,157 I'll take number seven, please. 303 00:13:32,909 --> 00:13:34,285 You excited for Mother's Day? 304 00:13:34,368 --> 00:13:36,996 Oh, yeah, all my kids are comin'. 305 00:13:37,079 --> 00:13:39,957 Little Donovan and baby Frankie, 306 00:13:40,041 --> 00:13:42,669 that's short for Francesca, and the twins. 307 00:13:42,752 --> 00:13:43,878 You got four kids? 308 00:13:43,961 --> 00:13:47,131 Oh, sure. Catholic. You know how it goes. 309 00:13:47,214 --> 00:13:49,008 You don't got no kids. 310 00:13:49,091 --> 00:13:52,303 Yes, I do. I have four kids and they're all coming to see me. 311 00:13:52,386 --> 00:13:54,096 Bull... shit. 312 00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:56,515 - Show me your stomach. - What? 313 00:13:56,599 --> 00:13:59,143 Mother of four, twins no less. 314 00:13:59,226 --> 00:14:01,395 Let me see your belly. 315 00:14:01,478 --> 00:14:05,399 Maybe I did a lot of sit-ups, and maybe they're adopted. 316 00:14:05,482 --> 00:14:07,318 Get the fuck out of my chair. 317 00:14:07,401 --> 00:14:10,029 No, I need this. I lost my van. 318 00:14:10,112 --> 00:14:11,948 I have been scrubbin' toilets. 319 00:14:12,031 --> 00:14:13,658 Let me feel like a person. 320 00:14:13,741 --> 00:14:16,869 You can feel like a person after I see my actual baby 321 00:14:16,953 --> 00:14:18,746 that came out of me and exists. 322 00:14:18,830 --> 00:14:21,999 Well, maybe my mother's comin' to visit and I need to look nice for her. 323 00:14:22,083 --> 00:14:23,793 _ 324 00:14:23,883 --> 00:14:26,928 I really haven't been feelin' so good lately, 325 00:14:27,004 --> 00:14:30,675 and dollin' up's the only way I got to feel better. 326 00:14:33,469 --> 00:14:34,721 - Okay. - What? 327 00:14:34,804 --> 00:14:36,556 - I'll work on her real fast. - Come... 328 00:14:36,639 --> 00:14:38,474 I got a soft spot for the pathetics. 329 00:14:38,558 --> 00:14:40,560 [softly] Thank you, thank you, thank you. 330 00:14:41,603 --> 00:14:43,605 Somebody comin' to visit you this weekend? 331 00:14:44,689 --> 00:14:45,898 My son, Michael. 332 00:14:45,982 --> 00:14:47,024 Oh. 333 00:14:47,108 --> 00:14:51,028 How does that work, with you being a lady-man and all? 334 00:14:51,112 --> 00:14:54,824 Do you and his mother both celebrate the day? 335 00:14:54,907 --> 00:14:57,076 You really wanna be callin' me a lady-man 336 00:14:57,159 --> 00:14:59,662 when I got a fistful of your hair in my hand? 337 00:14:59,746 --> 00:15:01,873 Oh, I just thought it sounded nice. 338 00:15:01,956 --> 00:15:04,291 I don't know from these things. 339 00:15:04,375 --> 00:15:06,252 That's why I'm askin' questions. 340 00:15:08,254 --> 00:15:10,172 We're sharing the day. 341 00:15:10,256 --> 00:15:13,384 He's spending Father's Day with her new boyfriend, the pastor. 342 00:15:13,467 --> 00:15:14,468 Oh. 343 00:15:14,551 --> 00:15:17,930 Well, that doesn't seem fair. He's not his father. 344 00:15:18,014 --> 00:15:19,932 Well, I'm not sure I am anymore, either. 345 00:15:20,016 --> 00:15:21,601 ♪ Hit the road, Jack ♪ 346 00:15:21,684 --> 00:15:25,146 ♪ And don't you come back No more, no more, no more, no more ♪ 347 00:15:25,229 --> 00:15:28,524 ♪ Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back no more ♪ 348 00:15:28,608 --> 00:15:29,734 ♪ What you say? ♪ 349 00:15:29,817 --> 00:15:31,068 - Mmm-mmm. - [chuckles] 350 00:15:31,152 --> 00:15:33,154 We goin' about this the wrong way. I should sing. 351 00:15:33,237 --> 00:15:35,364 It'll drive him out of there screaming. 352 00:15:35,447 --> 00:15:36,741 - Mmm. - [chuckles] 353 00:15:36,824 --> 00:15:37,950 Mmm. Do my feet again. 354 00:15:38,034 --> 00:15:40,202 Mmm. Like this, baby? Like this? 355 00:15:40,286 --> 00:15:41,370 Ah, yeah. Ooh. 356 00:15:42,371 --> 00:15:44,666 Yeah, you squeeze there while I pinch my nipples. 357 00:15:44,749 --> 00:15:47,001 We have some more of that spicy chicken from Bongo's, 358 00:15:47,084 --> 00:15:48,628 - have sex again. - [chuckles] 359 00:15:48,711 --> 00:15:51,255 I run around the block a couple times, do some jumpin' jacks. 360 00:15:51,338 --> 00:15:52,715 Get out. 361 00:15:53,758 --> 00:15:55,134 Do you hear me? 362 00:15:55,217 --> 00:15:58,595 It is time for you to vacate the premises. 363 00:15:58,680 --> 00:15:59,931 It's your eviction notice. 364 00:16:00,014 --> 00:16:01,820 [sighs] Ooh. 365 00:16:02,934 --> 00:16:04,018 Did you see that? 366 00:16:05,551 --> 00:16:06,593 That was a foot. 367 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,605 A whole person in there. 368 00:16:10,942 --> 00:16:12,193 Mmm. You scared. 369 00:16:13,277 --> 00:16:14,278 A little. 370 00:16:15,487 --> 00:16:17,239 Don't be. You're gonna make a great daddy. 371 00:16:18,950 --> 00:16:19,992 Ah. 372 00:16:20,076 --> 00:16:21,493 - Back on that foot. - [chuckles] 373 00:16:21,577 --> 00:16:22,995 Back on that... There you go. 374 00:16:23,079 --> 00:16:24,288 There. 375 00:16:26,166 --> 00:16:28,625 You know, there's nothing wrong with that light. 376 00:16:28,710 --> 00:16:30,712 [chuckles] Oh, yeah? Why don't you let me be the judge of that? 377 00:16:30,795 --> 00:16:32,338 Because you don't know what the fuck you're doing. 378 00:16:32,421 --> 00:16:33,505 Okay, you know what? 379 00:16:33,589 --> 00:16:37,134 For your information, there's actually a loose fluorescent bulb in here. 380 00:16:37,218 --> 00:16:40,512 You're lucky I caught this, or we might all be dead. 381 00:16:40,596 --> 00:16:41,597 [scoffs] 382 00:16:43,557 --> 00:16:45,601 You know why she's in here all the time lately? 383 00:16:45,685 --> 00:16:46,936 'Cause she's a dumbshit. 384 00:16:47,019 --> 00:16:48,980 'Cause she got a crush on me. 385 00:16:49,814 --> 00:16:51,065 What are you talking about? 386 00:16:51,148 --> 00:16:54,443 When she had that bet thing going on with the bully butch bitch, 387 00:16:54,526 --> 00:16:57,196 she tried to get me, but I didn't do it. 388 00:16:57,279 --> 00:16:58,698 She wasn't offering anything good. 389 00:16:58,781 --> 00:17:01,617 Well, I've seen you suck a cock for a bag of ranch Doritos. 390 00:17:01,701 --> 00:17:05,246 Totally different. That was a cock. And I love ranch flavor. 391 00:17:05,788 --> 00:17:08,040 The point is, she's really into me, 392 00:17:08,124 --> 00:17:09,709 which is why she keeps coming around here. 393 00:17:09,792 --> 00:17:11,668 Well, you gotta stop leading her on. 394 00:17:11,753 --> 00:17:14,588 I ain't done nothin'. I can't help that I'm dyke bait. 395 00:17:17,216 --> 00:17:19,969 Yeah, look at her, bendin' down, showin' you her ass. 396 00:17:20,052 --> 00:17:21,220 I think you're right. 397 00:17:21,303 --> 00:17:24,556 I'm telling you... she's so desperate for me. 398 00:17:25,474 --> 00:17:27,226 Makes me almost sad for her. 399 00:17:30,146 --> 00:17:32,064 [drier timer buzzing] 400 00:17:32,148 --> 00:17:33,607 [oven timer dings] 401 00:17:36,032 --> 00:17:37,486 Oh, Nicky! She coming! 402 00:17:37,569 --> 00:17:39,864 - Stop her! It's not ready! - What's not ready? 403 00:17:39,947 --> 00:17:41,866 No, Mommy, you have to go back! Go back to bed! 404 00:17:41,949 --> 00:17:43,868 Sweetie, we're having brunch at the Four Seasons. 405 00:17:43,951 --> 00:17:45,745 Paloma, why is she not dressed? 406 00:17:45,828 --> 00:17:48,664 [stammers] I tell her, but she want to surprise you. 407 00:17:48,748 --> 00:17:50,541 She been up since 6:00. 408 00:17:50,624 --> 00:17:53,419 Well, that's very cute, honey, 409 00:17:53,502 --> 00:17:54,921 but we need to get dressed 410 00:17:55,004 --> 00:17:57,631 and put on our happy faces and pretend we like Grandma. 411 00:17:58,883 --> 00:18:00,334 There'll be shrimp cocktail. 412 00:18:00,392 --> 00:18:01,886 But it's Mother's Day. 413 00:18:01,969 --> 00:18:03,512 That's right. It's my day. 414 00:18:03,595 --> 00:18:07,892 So we will get through brunch, and I will head straight for the spa. 415 00:18:07,975 --> 00:18:09,101 Happy mother. 416 00:18:10,602 --> 00:18:11,854 Oh, come on, sweetheart. 417 00:18:11,938 --> 00:18:14,899 Put on the blue dress I bought you from Bergdorf's. 418 00:18:24,283 --> 00:18:26,452 She didn't read my card. 419 00:18:31,123 --> 00:18:33,459 Your hair looks nice like that. 420 00:18:33,542 --> 00:18:35,002 Oh, you noticed. 421 00:18:35,086 --> 00:18:36,212 - [scoffs] - Oh, honey. 422 00:18:36,295 --> 00:18:39,381 Yeah, well, I'm glad to see you keepin' yourself up, doll. 423 00:18:39,465 --> 00:18:43,469 No one likes to see a beautiful, ripe fruit just wither on the vine. 424 00:18:43,552 --> 00:18:44,929 You like my ripe fruit? 425 00:18:45,012 --> 00:18:48,432 [scoffs] So sweet, so juicy. 426 00:18:48,515 --> 00:18:51,894 Oh, as if the smell of this dinner isn't making me feel nauseous enough. 427 00:18:51,978 --> 00:18:54,605 Well, maybe you'd rather talk about vegetables, huh? 428 00:18:54,688 --> 00:18:57,649 Like your favorite stalk of celery that just walked in. 429 00:18:57,733 --> 00:19:00,319 Yeah, looks like she's lost a little bit of her crunch. 430 00:19:00,402 --> 00:19:02,446 What the fuck is she doin' back here? 431 00:19:07,701 --> 00:19:08,744 Hi. 432 00:19:08,828 --> 00:19:10,371 Inmate, no touching. 433 00:19:10,454 --> 00:19:12,623 Yeah, inmate. Let's just keep it orthodox. 434 00:19:12,706 --> 00:19:15,960 What happened? What are you doing back here? 435 00:19:16,043 --> 00:19:17,419 And... 436 00:19:17,503 --> 00:19:19,005 What happened to your face? 437 00:19:20,172 --> 00:19:22,716 Just a little trouble in lockup. I was in a mood. 438 00:19:24,051 --> 00:19:27,179 I forgot that you should let crackheads have their way. 439 00:19:27,263 --> 00:19:28,347 Well, yeah. 440 00:19:28,430 --> 00:19:29,932 Crackheads... 441 00:19:30,016 --> 00:19:31,058 Wookiees... 442 00:19:31,142 --> 00:19:32,809 you know, you gotta let 'em win. 443 00:19:33,853 --> 00:19:36,470 What... did you do? 444 00:19:36,472 --> 00:19:39,901 This is so unbelievably embarrassing. 445 00:19:39,984 --> 00:19:41,568 Come on. 446 00:19:41,652 --> 00:19:43,899 Like anybody in here can judge. 447 00:19:46,073 --> 00:19:47,491 How am I back here? 448 00:19:48,742 --> 00:19:51,097 That's my question. Come on. 449 00:19:51,913 --> 00:19:53,915 [stammers] Let's go take a walk. 450 00:19:53,998 --> 00:19:56,083 [Taystee] But can't real faith make shit happen? 451 00:19:56,167 --> 00:19:58,210 Look, who knows anything, all right? 452 00:19:58,294 --> 00:19:59,711 All I'm saying is, they did some kind of 453 00:19:59,795 --> 00:20:01,088 voodoo spell on Vee, 454 00:20:01,172 --> 00:20:02,548 and, boom, bitch was gone. 455 00:20:02,631 --> 00:20:03,674 Yo. 456 00:20:04,216 --> 00:20:06,552 Vee is fine. 457 00:20:06,635 --> 00:20:08,262 - [Taystee] Oh, my God. - Yo, okay. 458 00:20:08,345 --> 00:20:10,097 I cannot go through this again. 459 00:20:10,181 --> 00:20:15,811 Suzanne... you throw that tray, or anything on it, 460 00:20:15,895 --> 00:20:17,897 we dog-pilin' on you till you're flat. 461 00:20:17,980 --> 00:20:20,357 - Mmm-hmm. - Agree to disagree, 462 00:20:20,441 --> 00:20:22,109 and let's get on with our lives. 463 00:20:22,193 --> 00:20:23,444 Agree to disagree. 464 00:20:23,527 --> 00:20:25,196 Uh-huh. Shit. 465 00:20:25,279 --> 00:20:26,405 Rhymes with, "Vee." 466 00:20:26,488 --> 00:20:28,459 Rhymes with, "Let it be." 467 00:20:28,539 --> 00:20:32,078 So, what you want with this voodoo magic, anyhow? 468 00:20:32,161 --> 00:20:33,370 [Taystee] Don't be playin' around with that. 469 00:20:33,454 --> 00:20:37,124 Mess with the evil forces, you'll be out like Cedric Diggory. 470 00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:38,625 Who? 471 00:20:38,709 --> 00:20:39,904 [both] Harry Potter. 472 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,949 Died in the Triwizard Tournament? 473 00:20:42,338 --> 00:20:43,672 [Poussey] Look, I don't know. I just... 474 00:20:43,755 --> 00:20:45,216 I think it's interestin'. 475 00:20:45,299 --> 00:20:48,928 I mean, who knows what kind of forces are operatin' out there in the universe? 476 00:20:49,011 --> 00:20:51,847 Maybe it ain't such a bad idea to try to get 'em on your side. 477 00:20:52,848 --> 00:20:55,309 [Poussey's mom] All right, Poussey, you read the Calvin part, 478 00:20:55,392 --> 00:20:57,558 I'll be the mom. Here. 479 00:20:58,145 --> 00:21:00,189 "Mom, was I ever a grub?" 480 00:21:00,272 --> 00:21:01,273 "A what?" 481 00:21:01,357 --> 00:21:05,402 "You know, a larva. Did I really 'pup-ate' at age two?" 482 00:21:06,153 --> 00:21:07,129 "Pu-pate." 483 00:21:08,030 --> 00:21:09,365 Like... poo? 484 00:21:09,448 --> 00:21:12,826 Oh, come on. You know that word from when we studied butterflies. 485 00:21:12,909 --> 00:21:15,287 The caterpillar goes through the pupal stage and then... 486 00:21:15,371 --> 00:21:16,622 I love you, Mommy. 487 00:21:18,082 --> 00:21:20,417 Love you, too, baby. 488 00:21:20,602 --> 00:21:21,811 Now, let's keep reading. 489 00:21:24,213 --> 00:21:25,756 I am so excited! 490 00:21:25,839 --> 00:21:27,466 I don't think I'm gonna be able to go to sleep tonight. 491 00:21:27,549 --> 00:21:28,925 No, you gotta try. 492 00:21:29,010 --> 00:21:31,095 You don't want your baby seeing you with bags under your eyes. 493 00:21:31,178 --> 00:21:32,888 That's setting a really bad example. 494 00:21:32,972 --> 00:21:35,557 So, how you feelin' about your first Mother's Day? 495 00:21:35,641 --> 00:21:37,559 - I'm not a mother yet. - Sure you are. 496 00:21:37,643 --> 00:21:40,316 If she's already givin' you pain and trouble, you're a mother. 497 00:21:40,687 --> 00:21:41,855 And I'm a mother. 498 00:21:41,938 --> 00:21:44,108 You getting me a present tomorrow for all I've done for you? 499 00:21:44,733 --> 00:21:46,818 Don't I just cause you pain and trouble? 500 00:21:46,902 --> 00:21:48,668 At least get me a card or something. 501 00:21:49,696 --> 00:21:51,532 Draw me one of your weird pictures. 502 00:21:53,242 --> 00:21:54,493 Give me my stuff! 503 00:21:54,576 --> 00:21:57,496 Oh, no? Something to hide? 504 00:21:57,579 --> 00:22:00,207 Love letters, maybe, from all those men in your life? 505 00:22:00,291 --> 00:22:01,750 This is fancy. 506 00:22:01,833 --> 00:22:02,834 Greenwich, Connecticut? 507 00:22:02,918 --> 00:22:04,336 Who the fuck you know in Greenwich, Connecticut? 508 00:22:04,420 --> 00:22:06,297 No one. I was gonna throw it out. It's stupid. 509 00:22:06,380 --> 00:22:08,299 "I've heard I'm to have a grandchild. 510 00:22:08,382 --> 00:22:09,966 I'd like to see you. 511 00:22:10,051 --> 00:22:12,344 Sincerely, Delia Mendez Powell." 512 00:22:13,137 --> 00:22:14,346 Mendez? 513 00:22:14,348 --> 00:22:16,496 Holy shit! This is Pornstache's mother? 514 00:22:17,891 --> 00:22:20,394 Yo, I smell money here. You gotta say yes. 515 00:22:20,477 --> 00:22:22,229 Write her back and tell her you'll see her. 516 00:22:22,313 --> 00:22:24,231 'Cause I need another person involved here, right? 517 00:22:24,315 --> 00:22:26,067 I don't wanna see her. 518 00:22:28,277 --> 00:22:31,197 Fine. Don't listen to your mother. 519 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,657 'Cause that always works out so well. 520 00:22:37,536 --> 00:22:40,414 So, listen... I got a guy. 521 00:22:40,497 --> 00:22:41,957 You are a guy. 522 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,334 Suck my dick. 523 00:22:46,087 --> 00:22:48,589 He's comin' up the tunnel on Wednesday. He's gonna sell it for us. 524 00:22:48,672 --> 00:22:50,299 So we gotta get that shit to the greenhouse. 525 00:22:50,382 --> 00:22:52,634 So far, the best plan we've come up with 526 00:22:52,718 --> 00:22:54,970 is takin' it out one bag at a time up our snatches 527 00:22:55,053 --> 00:22:57,889 while the meth-heads take their afternoon naps, okay? 528 00:22:57,973 --> 00:23:00,307 And that plan has more holes in it than we have, doesn't it? 529 00:23:01,017 --> 00:23:04,188 All right, we need to space these pompoms out more evenly. 530 00:23:04,806 --> 00:23:06,982 I'm a wacky clown. I don't need symmetry. 531 00:23:07,065 --> 00:23:09,610 And you're stallin'. It's time. 532 00:23:09,693 --> 00:23:12,654 It's so pretty. I like looking at it. 533 00:23:12,738 --> 00:23:15,907 Yeah, well, say goodbye, 'cause come Wednesday, 534 00:23:15,991 --> 00:23:19,203 that shit is going down the tunnel and out into the world for sale... 535 00:23:19,286 --> 00:23:20,704 like a Romanian baby. 536 00:23:21,342 --> 00:23:22,748 This shit is happenin'. 537 00:23:26,168 --> 00:23:28,670 [Gina] I take this ball of blue energy... 538 00:23:30,922 --> 00:23:32,799 and I pass it to you. 539 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:39,473 I take this ball of blue energy and I pass it... 540 00:23:39,556 --> 00:23:41,267 [Frieda] You sure you want to do this, Red? 541 00:23:41,350 --> 00:23:44,353 I've only got two years left, Frieda. 542 00:23:44,436 --> 00:23:49,191 Compared to what I was looking at when I got here, that's so little time. 543 00:23:49,275 --> 00:23:51,485 I see the light at the end of the tunnel. 544 00:23:51,568 --> 00:23:52,903 [chuckles] So to speak. 545 00:23:52,986 --> 00:23:56,240 [grunts] How much time we got before we have to rejoin the witch ladies? 546 00:23:56,323 --> 00:23:57,491 Oh, about a half hour. 547 00:23:57,574 --> 00:24:00,536 It takes 'em forever to pass that ball around the circle. 548 00:24:00,619 --> 00:24:02,663 It drives Maxwell nuts. 549 00:24:02,746 --> 00:24:05,244 She smokes by the basketball courts till they're done. 550 00:24:05,246 --> 00:24:07,000 And this is okay with Caputo? 551 00:24:07,083 --> 00:24:11,874 Oh, it's a whole new world around here. A kinder, gentler Litchfield. 552 00:24:12,214 --> 00:24:14,716 Wiccans get night walks on the full moon. 553 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,719 Things that break get mostly fixed. 554 00:24:17,803 --> 00:24:21,765 I even hear people are getting out early. 555 00:24:21,848 --> 00:24:24,435 Uh, Sanchez in the kitchen, 556 00:24:24,518 --> 00:24:28,439 that, uh... that girl with the nostrils from grounds crew. 557 00:24:28,522 --> 00:24:29,981 [panting] All the more reason to do this. 558 00:24:30,065 --> 00:24:32,359 Are you sure? Are you really sure? 559 00:24:32,443 --> 00:24:34,611 We had a good thing goin' here, Red. 560 00:24:34,695 --> 00:24:35,946 [grunting] 561 00:24:36,947 --> 00:24:38,199 I'm sure. 562 00:24:39,658 --> 00:24:41,159 Bye-bye, tunnel. 563 00:24:42,328 --> 00:24:43,454 [groans] 564 00:24:44,705 --> 00:24:46,957 [Gina] And ye shall be free from slavery. 565 00:24:47,958 --> 00:24:51,002 And as a sign that ye be really free... 566 00:24:51,086 --> 00:24:53,547 ye shall be naked in thy rites. 567 00:24:53,630 --> 00:24:55,341 And ye shall dance... 568 00:24:56,467 --> 00:24:58,427 Wait, don't do that. 569 00:24:58,510 --> 00:24:59,905 It's metaphorical naked. 570 00:24:59,907 --> 00:25:02,596 I mean, we're passing around an invisible ball, for Christ's sake. 571 00:25:02,598 --> 00:25:04,808 I thought we didn't believe in Christ. 572 00:25:04,891 --> 00:25:06,268 [Frieda] Better hurry. 573 00:25:06,352 --> 00:25:07,853 [Red] Almost finished. 574 00:25:11,189 --> 00:25:13,359 You're a twisted fuck, aren't ya? 575 00:25:13,852 --> 00:25:15,611 Life is complex, huh? 576 00:25:16,111 --> 00:25:17,779 Let's rejoin the circle. 577 00:25:17,863 --> 00:25:20,449 I could use some energy, blue or otherwise. 578 00:25:20,532 --> 00:25:21,575 [grunts] 579 00:25:22,817 --> 00:25:24,119 Healy, I wanna go home. 580 00:25:24,202 --> 00:25:26,162 You haven't answered my question. 581 00:25:26,247 --> 00:25:30,208 Why is Rogers here? I started Safe Place. 582 00:25:30,292 --> 00:25:33,295 These women trust me, okay? And I'm good at my job, Joe. 583 00:25:33,379 --> 00:25:35,839 She's here because she's needed. 584 00:25:35,922 --> 00:25:37,674 We never replaced Callahan. 585 00:25:37,758 --> 00:25:39,260 We all know Bailey is senile. 586 00:25:39,541 --> 00:25:43,389 For months, you're tellin' me how swamped you are, how overwhelmed. 587 00:25:43,472 --> 00:25:45,056 Okay, I take it back. I'm fine. 588 00:25:45,140 --> 00:25:47,268 Let her go. I've got it covered, okay? 589 00:25:48,406 --> 00:25:49,262 No. 590 00:25:51,062 --> 00:25:53,023 Fine, then she can have all the blacks and the crazies. 591 00:25:54,145 --> 00:25:54,860 Healy... 592 00:25:54,862 --> 00:25:56,985 Look, I've got a bad feeling about this one. 593 00:25:57,068 --> 00:25:59,112 She doesn't smell right, and I mean that literally. 594 00:25:59,114 --> 00:26:02,071 She's got a weird smell. Have you noticed that? 595 00:26:02,073 --> 00:26:03,046 Sam! 596 00:26:03,617 --> 00:26:05,286 She's here now. 597 00:26:05,369 --> 00:26:06,537 She's your coworker. 598 00:26:07,672 --> 00:26:10,634 Eh, be nice, be respectful. 599 00:26:11,917 --> 00:26:13,502 Come on, be a gentleman. 600 00:26:14,028 --> 00:26:16,004 [Healy's mom] Yes, my little gentleman. 601 00:26:16,216 --> 00:26:17,958 Gentleman Sam. 602 00:26:19,061 --> 00:26:20,396 Yes, and yes again! 603 00:26:20,749 --> 00:26:23,266 Because the angels have spoken to me... 604 00:26:23,637 --> 00:26:25,806 [softly] and they've told me their secrets. 605 00:26:27,265 --> 00:26:28,825 I brought you breakfast. 606 00:26:32,938 --> 00:26:34,690 Now it's a party! 607 00:26:34,773 --> 00:26:36,525 Come dance with Mommy. 608 00:26:44,016 --> 00:26:45,601 [Alex] Is your mom coming? 609 00:26:46,618 --> 00:26:47,813 Are you kidding me? 610 00:26:48,495 --> 00:26:51,623 Carol is spending the day with her un-imprisoned children. 611 00:26:51,625 --> 00:26:52,626 Mmm. 612 00:26:55,794 --> 00:26:59,255 Diane would smack the shit out of me if she were still alive. 613 00:26:59,340 --> 00:27:00,549 [sniffles] 614 00:27:02,509 --> 00:27:05,570 She's probably looking down right now just... 615 00:27:06,847 --> 00:27:09,095 vomiting angel dust. 616 00:27:12,492 --> 00:27:14,526 I feel so stupid. 617 00:27:15,397 --> 00:27:17,122 You were living in Queens. 618 00:27:17,733 --> 00:27:20,569 I'm sure that made prison seem much more attractive. 619 00:27:22,070 --> 00:27:24,573 Every time I close my eyes, I relive that moment. 620 00:27:24,946 --> 00:27:26,783 Fuck up. Fuck up. 621 00:27:26,867 --> 00:27:27,823 Alex... 622 00:27:27,825 --> 00:27:30,536 [sobbing] I had a chance to make a life. 623 00:27:30,621 --> 00:27:32,664 Okay, you need to shut up. 624 00:27:34,416 --> 00:27:35,417 [Alex whimpers] 625 00:27:36,251 --> 00:27:37,419 [sniffles] 626 00:27:39,004 --> 00:27:41,632 Oh, that's not hot when your snot drips in my mouth like that. 627 00:27:41,715 --> 00:27:42,716 - No? - No. 628 00:27:42,799 --> 00:27:44,926 - It's not your thing? - No, I don't like that. 629 00:27:45,010 --> 00:27:46,762 [chuckles] I thought you'd be into it. 630 00:27:46,845 --> 00:27:47,846 Mmm-mmm. 631 00:27:50,265 --> 00:27:51,558 [sobbing] 632 00:27:52,851 --> 00:27:54,478 I'm such an idiot. 633 00:27:54,561 --> 00:27:56,871 No, Alex... 634 00:27:58,399 --> 00:28:01,192 You have to stop. You have to. It wasn't your fault. 635 00:28:01,276 --> 00:28:02,828 Of course it was my fault! 636 00:28:03,404 --> 00:28:05,294 No one put that gun in my hand. 637 00:28:05,296 --> 00:28:07,083 - But you didn't know. - Fuck up! 638 00:28:07,198 --> 00:28:08,992 Alex, it wasn't you. 639 00:28:09,277 --> 00:28:10,528 It wasn't you. 640 00:28:13,497 --> 00:28:14,665 It... 641 00:28:23,924 --> 00:28:25,467 [softly] It was the system. 642 00:28:28,429 --> 00:28:29,763 You got caught... 643 00:28:31,097 --> 00:28:32,683 in the system. 644 00:28:34,225 --> 00:28:37,854 I'm just a fly in the web of the prison industrial complex? 645 00:28:37,938 --> 00:28:39,523 [scoffs] Christ. 646 00:28:39,606 --> 00:28:41,942 But at least we're in the same web, right? 647 00:28:43,944 --> 00:28:45,821 I mean, at least we're in it together. 648 00:28:48,073 --> 00:28:49,157 Yeah. 649 00:28:50,492 --> 00:28:51,827 At least we're in it together. 650 00:28:51,910 --> 00:28:53,161 [Donaldson] Ladies! 651 00:28:53,244 --> 00:28:55,371 Get the heck out of there right now! 652 00:28:55,456 --> 00:28:58,166 You're out of bounds! Count's in five! 653 00:28:59,460 --> 00:29:01,837 I know you're back there! I'm not an idiot! 654 00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,715 Out now! You're both gettin' shots! 655 00:29:17,393 --> 00:29:18,979 Place is goin' to hell. 656 00:29:19,062 --> 00:29:21,189 Hands off! And fingers off! 657 00:29:21,272 --> 00:29:23,942 Back away from the table! And nobody touch me. 658 00:29:24,025 --> 00:29:26,445 If anybody touches me, you don't go in. 659 00:29:27,654 --> 00:29:30,616 You are all expected to behave. 660 00:29:30,699 --> 00:29:33,409 Anyone not behaving will be sent back home. 661 00:29:33,881 --> 00:29:36,121 All caregivers must be reachable 662 00:29:36,204 --> 00:29:39,875 in case your children you've checked in need to be sent back out. 663 00:29:40,917 --> 00:29:42,293 Welcome to the fun zone. 664 00:29:42,651 --> 00:29:44,153 Mother's last name? 665 00:29:44,171 --> 00:29:46,506 I think you know it. How you doin', my friend? 666 00:29:47,340 --> 00:29:48,634 Fine. Fine. 667 00:29:48,717 --> 00:29:50,844 Yeah? Glad to hear it. 668 00:29:50,927 --> 00:29:52,888 So, listen, I got a couple of your baby's aunts and uncle here. 669 00:29:52,971 --> 00:29:54,347 [softly] Hey, can you please keep it down? 670 00:29:54,430 --> 00:29:56,057 Stop sweatin' it, bro. Nobody's listenin'. 671 00:29:57,017 --> 00:29:58,018 Uh, names? 672 00:29:58,101 --> 00:29:59,978 You're gonna have to learn these soon, too, hermano. 673 00:30:00,061 --> 00:30:04,525 Eva, Lucy, Christina, and that's Emiliano. 674 00:30:05,389 --> 00:30:06,652 So, listen, you should come by the house soon, 675 00:30:06,735 --> 00:30:07,778 you know, get to know us. 676 00:30:07,861 --> 00:30:11,197 I'm not just busting balls, okay? You're family now. 677 00:30:11,555 --> 00:30:13,074 Okay, here are your badges. [chuckles awkwardly] Have a nice day. 678 00:30:13,158 --> 00:30:14,200 All right, go ahead, kids. 679 00:30:14,284 --> 00:30:16,620 Go give your mother a big hug and a kiss for me. 680 00:30:16,703 --> 00:30:17,829 And Emiliano... 681 00:30:17,913 --> 00:30:20,165 no tongue, you little perv. 682 00:30:21,291 --> 00:30:22,668 Happy Mother's Day, Johnny boy. 683 00:30:23,919 --> 00:30:25,336 [all cheering] 684 00:30:38,642 --> 00:30:39,935 [boy] This blows! 685 00:30:40,018 --> 00:30:41,269 [puppies yapping] 686 00:30:46,942 --> 00:30:48,484 [imitating airplane engine] 687 00:30:49,662 --> 00:30:52,998 Hey, Warren! You know you're not allowed out there. 688 00:30:53,198 --> 00:30:56,284 Yeah, but I made a kite, Mr. Healy. Kids love kites. 689 00:30:56,367 --> 00:30:58,579 That may be true, but you've been banned 690 00:30:58,662 --> 00:31:01,247 from interacting with the children, and you know that. 691 00:31:01,331 --> 00:31:03,249 Yeah, that was last year. 692 00:31:03,333 --> 00:31:07,295 And this is a kite, not Chinese jump rope. 693 00:31:07,643 --> 00:31:09,505 The answer is no, Warren. 694 00:31:10,678 --> 00:31:13,874 Now, you're not to step foot outside of this building. 695 00:31:14,553 --> 00:31:15,554 Is that clear? 696 00:31:16,972 --> 00:31:18,098 Yes, sir. 697 00:31:35,198 --> 00:31:37,743 [Brook] Everyone needs to back up and line up. 698 00:31:38,133 --> 00:31:39,870 Okay, okay, who's first? 699 00:31:40,441 --> 00:31:41,830 Where's the stick? 700 00:31:41,913 --> 00:31:43,039 Sticks? We can't give 'em sticks. 701 00:31:43,333 --> 00:31:44,916 How are they supposed to break the piñata? 702 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,793 I don't know. Punch it, I guess. 703 00:31:46,877 --> 00:31:49,045 Give it a good shot in the side, work out their anger. 704 00:31:49,129 --> 00:31:51,131 They're having fun. They're not angry. 705 00:31:51,214 --> 00:31:52,382 Sure they are. 706 00:31:52,472 --> 00:31:56,026 Hey, kid, your mother is in prison. 707 00:31:56,286 --> 00:31:57,220 Pummel the piñata. 708 00:31:57,830 --> 00:31:58,795 Jab, jab. 709 00:32:04,628 --> 00:32:05,841 Hit it. 710 00:32:06,764 --> 00:32:08,040 All right. 711 00:32:10,483 --> 00:32:11,526 [gasps] 712 00:32:11,610 --> 00:32:13,987 No, you look really good! 713 00:32:14,070 --> 00:32:15,739 You could, like, leave here and go straight to 714 00:32:15,822 --> 00:32:18,033 a My Chemical Romance concert and be the balls. 715 00:32:19,409 --> 00:32:23,914 [exclaims] You missed! Next! Loser. 716 00:32:23,997 --> 00:32:26,082 Why you being so fuckin' mean, man? They're kids. 717 00:32:26,166 --> 00:32:29,836 Number one, they miss, mo' candy for me. 718 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:31,672 And number two, I don't like kids. 719 00:32:32,505 --> 00:32:34,549 I don't like mamas, neither, for that matter. 720 00:32:34,633 --> 00:32:36,009 Mine thinks I'm shit. 721 00:32:36,092 --> 00:32:38,303 Well, fuck her. I'm done with mama. 722 00:32:38,386 --> 00:32:40,639 - I'm done with stand-ins for mamas. - Mmm. 723 00:32:40,722 --> 00:32:43,016 I am parent-free and proud. 724 00:32:43,492 --> 00:32:45,393 Yeah, well, I liked my moms. 725 00:32:45,395 --> 00:32:47,022 Well, lucky you. 726 00:32:47,187 --> 00:32:48,354 [girl] Oh, come on. 727 00:32:48,438 --> 00:32:51,041 Maybe when mine dies, I'll like her better. 728 00:32:51,357 --> 00:32:52,953 A'ight, next! 729 00:32:53,443 --> 00:32:54,799 Shit. 730 00:32:55,397 --> 00:32:58,687 - Simon says deep breath in. - [all inhaling] 731 00:32:59,535 --> 00:33:02,327 - Simon says deep breath out. - [all exhaling] 732 00:33:02,410 --> 00:33:03,411 Hands in the air. 733 00:33:05,455 --> 00:33:07,332 Chang, Simon didn't say that. 734 00:33:07,415 --> 00:33:09,000 - [kids laughing] - But that's okay. 735 00:33:09,084 --> 00:33:13,171 I encourage you all to follow your own path. 736 00:33:13,254 --> 00:33:15,215 What you in for? 737 00:33:15,298 --> 00:33:18,009 [Yoga Jones] Simon says tug at your ear. 738 00:33:18,093 --> 00:33:20,553 [Yoga Jones] Tug at your other ear. 739 00:33:20,636 --> 00:33:23,849 Simon says wiggle your hips. 740 00:33:23,932 --> 00:33:26,059 Simon says hop on one foot! 741 00:33:26,142 --> 00:33:28,854 - Duck. - [Yoga Jones] Simon says wiggle your hips. 742 00:33:28,937 --> 00:33:30,897 - Duck. - [Yoga Jones] Jump up in the air! 743 00:33:30,981 --> 00:33:32,899 - Simon says turn around. - Duck. 744 00:33:32,983 --> 00:33:35,151 - [Yoga Jones] Don't turn around. - Goose. 745 00:33:35,235 --> 00:33:38,196 [Yoga Jones] Simon says hands on your head. 746 00:33:39,530 --> 00:33:42,784 - Simon says hands on your knees. - [girl] Duck... 747 00:33:42,868 --> 00:33:44,953 Use his shirt like a paper towel. 748 00:33:45,036 --> 00:33:46,412 He loves it. 749 00:33:46,496 --> 00:33:49,916 One, two, three, go. 750 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,584 [kids exclaiming] 751 00:33:53,086 --> 00:33:55,130 Yo, hey, hey! Get out... Get out of here! 752 00:33:55,213 --> 00:33:57,048 - [kids giggling] - Get out of here! 753 00:33:57,132 --> 00:33:59,760 You! You better get out of here! Where's your mother, boy? 754 00:33:59,843 --> 00:34:01,623 Get out of here! 755 00:34:01,625 --> 00:34:04,041 I don't understand. Why isn't your brother here? 756 00:34:05,015 --> 00:34:06,534 He says it's for babies. 757 00:34:07,017 --> 00:34:09,577 I haven't seen him in two and a half years. 758 00:34:11,772 --> 00:34:14,482 Look at you. You got a mustache? 759 00:34:14,565 --> 00:34:16,359 Jesus. [chuckles] 760 00:34:16,442 --> 00:34:17,527 You got hair everywhere? 761 00:34:17,610 --> 00:34:18,694 Oh, Mom! 762 00:34:18,779 --> 00:34:21,023 Never mind. Don't answer that. I can't... 763 00:34:21,614 --> 00:34:23,158 It's good to see you. 764 00:34:23,241 --> 00:34:24,575 You, too. 765 00:34:24,659 --> 00:34:25,897 Lourdes treating you good? 766 00:34:25,984 --> 00:34:28,079 We're fine. She and Benny fight a lot. 767 00:34:28,163 --> 00:34:31,334 They had a crazy one when he got suspended from school last week. 768 00:34:32,131 --> 00:34:33,299 What'd he get suspended for? 769 00:34:33,382 --> 00:34:34,550 Cutting class. 770 00:34:35,170 --> 00:34:37,338 So, he misses school and they make him miss more school, 771 00:34:37,422 --> 00:34:38,840 that makes no sense. 772 00:34:38,924 --> 00:34:41,509 Jesus, what the hell? Cutting class. 773 00:34:41,592 --> 00:34:42,844 You know what? 774 00:34:42,928 --> 00:34:44,930 You tell him that he needs to get his little delinquent ass 775 00:34:45,013 --> 00:34:47,723 over here next week for visitation, you got that? 776 00:34:47,808 --> 00:34:48,934 Okay. 777 00:34:49,976 --> 00:34:51,186 [sighs] 778 00:34:51,507 --> 00:34:52,716 I'm sorry, papi. 779 00:34:53,646 --> 00:34:55,398 - You're here, right? - Yeah. 780 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,744 Yeah, let's talk about you, huh? 781 00:34:58,777 --> 00:35:01,321 What you been up to for the last 30 months? Fun things? 782 00:35:02,322 --> 00:35:04,950 - [girl groans] - All right, next. 783 00:35:05,033 --> 00:35:07,160 [inmate 1] Yeah, I'm glad you're here. 784 00:35:07,243 --> 00:35:09,704 - [Taystee] You was just here. - You made my day. 785 00:35:11,081 --> 00:35:14,042 [Black Cindy chuckles] She made it. Next. 786 00:35:14,125 --> 00:35:17,337 Grandma's not a clown. This is eye shadow. 787 00:35:17,420 --> 00:35:19,172 Grandma put on a face for you. 788 00:35:19,255 --> 00:35:22,425 Please, I'm gorgeous. [clicks tongue] 789 00:35:22,508 --> 00:35:24,677 [inmate 2] I know what you're saying, but... 790 00:35:40,568 --> 00:35:43,446 - All right, honey, take a little spritz. - Mmm-mmm. 791 00:35:43,529 --> 00:35:46,908 What, no? Be a filthy animal. Who raised you, huh? 792 00:35:46,992 --> 00:35:48,034 Oh, hi, Annette. 793 00:35:49,396 --> 00:35:51,841 There you go. Wipe front to back, throw it in the trash. 794 00:35:51,955 --> 00:35:53,039 Thank you very much. 795 00:35:53,123 --> 00:35:54,457 This is a nice setup you got here. 796 00:35:54,540 --> 00:35:55,625 Oh, you. 797 00:35:55,708 --> 00:35:58,753 You are so lucky you are in electrical. 798 00:35:58,837 --> 00:36:00,463 Listen, you want my company or not? 799 00:36:00,905 --> 00:36:03,008 Yes, I do. Sit her down. 800 00:36:03,091 --> 00:36:04,550 - All right. - Yeah. 801 00:36:05,676 --> 00:36:06,887 Look at this shit, right? 802 00:36:06,970 --> 00:36:09,139 I mean, look at this, with these fuckin' kids. 803 00:36:09,222 --> 00:36:10,348 Oh, they're everywhere. 804 00:36:10,431 --> 00:36:11,474 I hate kids. 805 00:36:11,557 --> 00:36:13,684 You know, they don't drink, they haven't traveled. 806 00:36:15,270 --> 00:36:17,188 It's nasty in there. You might wanna hold your breath. 807 00:36:17,272 --> 00:36:19,107 Hey, can I talk to you? 808 00:36:20,191 --> 00:36:22,254 Um, I mean, I can wait till you're finished. 809 00:36:22,861 --> 00:36:25,405 This mad juju that you and Gloria do... 810 00:36:26,364 --> 00:36:27,736 how does it work? 811 00:36:28,449 --> 00:36:29,868 I'm really missing someone. 812 00:36:36,166 --> 00:36:38,459 Is the baby gonna live with us? 813 00:36:38,543 --> 00:36:39,648 Um... 814 00:36:40,295 --> 00:36:41,481 We'll see. 815 00:36:42,130 --> 00:36:43,423 "We'll see"? 816 00:36:43,506 --> 00:36:44,590 What the fuck is that? 817 00:36:45,230 --> 00:36:46,842 I'm gonna be a tía. 818 00:36:46,861 --> 00:36:47,987 [Bennett] Hey. 819 00:36:48,136 --> 00:36:49,421 Hi, there. 820 00:36:49,423 --> 00:36:50,800 Everyone having fun? 821 00:36:52,098 --> 00:36:53,266 [Dayanara sighs] 822 00:36:54,459 --> 00:36:56,806 Um, I have a Mother's Day joke. 823 00:36:57,353 --> 00:37:00,273 How come computers are so smart? 824 00:37:00,356 --> 00:37:01,857 It's 'cause they listen to their motherboards. 825 00:37:04,235 --> 00:37:05,904 Do you get it? That's what they call the... 826 00:37:05,987 --> 00:37:07,238 It's the board thingy in the computer. 827 00:37:07,322 --> 00:37:10,325 I think it's, like, what all the circuits are... attached to. 828 00:37:11,367 --> 00:37:13,731 - It's motherboard, 'cause... - [Aleida clears throat] 829 00:37:16,915 --> 00:37:18,173 All right, well, anyway, have a... 830 00:37:18,959 --> 00:37:20,899 have a great afternoon, so... 831 00:37:27,300 --> 00:37:28,801 CO Bennett, let's chat. 832 00:37:30,511 --> 00:37:32,388 When are you gonna learn to leave well enough alone? 833 00:37:32,472 --> 00:37:34,182 We were just talking. 834 00:37:34,265 --> 00:37:37,185 I do you a solid and sweep everything under the carpet, 835 00:37:37,268 --> 00:37:38,937 and you go around lifting up the corners. 836 00:37:39,020 --> 00:37:41,897 "Hey, everybody, look, look. Look what I got under here." 837 00:37:41,982 --> 00:37:44,442 Okay, respectfully, sir, I'm pretty sure you did yourself a solid. 838 00:37:46,069 --> 00:37:50,192 You think you're the only one ever to be tempted by an inmate? 839 00:37:50,615 --> 00:37:54,244 You think I never saw a tight piece sitting in my office chair crying, 840 00:37:54,327 --> 00:37:56,079 tears covering her khaki-covered tits, 841 00:37:56,162 --> 00:37:58,914 and thought, "I could bend that over my inbox"? 842 00:37:59,466 --> 00:38:02,043 A lesser man would be using this place 843 00:38:02,127 --> 00:38:05,630 as his own personal pussy smorgasbord, 844 00:38:05,713 --> 00:38:08,383 every fucking color, shape, size. 845 00:38:08,466 --> 00:38:10,753 Around the world without ever leaving upstate. 846 00:38:11,052 --> 00:38:12,428 But I am not a lesser man. 847 00:38:13,638 --> 00:38:15,515 When those feelings come on me, you know what I do? 848 00:38:15,598 --> 00:38:16,641 Please don't tell me. 849 00:38:16,724 --> 00:38:19,144 I take care of my fucking self. 850 00:38:19,514 --> 00:38:21,312 - Do you know what I'm saying? - I'm pretty sure I do. 851 00:38:21,396 --> 00:38:22,438 I spank it out, Bennett. 852 00:38:22,522 --> 00:38:23,773 Uh, it's... 853 00:38:23,856 --> 00:38:26,484 And for the love of Pete, I suggest you do the same... 854 00:38:26,567 --> 00:38:30,196 like decent men have been doing since time immemorial. 855 00:38:32,740 --> 00:38:36,744 Me and Diaz, it's about more than sex... sir. 856 00:38:38,954 --> 00:38:40,665 Just stay away from her, okay? 857 00:38:41,707 --> 00:38:43,168 Poor, deluded fuck. 858 00:38:43,251 --> 00:38:44,377 What'd you say? 859 00:38:48,589 --> 00:38:51,554 I mean, I just feel bad because it's her day, you know? 860 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:54,429 And she's just sitting in the car while I'm here. 861 00:38:54,512 --> 00:38:56,222 I didn't mean to steal your mom's day. 862 00:38:56,545 --> 00:38:58,766 Yeah, well, I don't need another mother. 863 00:39:00,393 --> 00:39:01,767 I get that. 864 00:39:02,145 --> 00:39:04,439 So, how are things with the good pastor? 865 00:39:04,522 --> 00:39:05,981 He makin' your mom happy? 866 00:39:06,066 --> 00:39:07,225 Yeah, I guess. 867 00:39:07,543 --> 00:39:09,360 How about you? Gettin' along? 868 00:39:09,938 --> 00:39:11,654 Well, he taught me how to shave. 869 00:39:12,655 --> 00:39:14,142 What'd he say about that? 870 00:39:14,657 --> 00:39:17,993 He tell you to go down, shave with the grain? 871 00:39:18,078 --> 00:39:20,413 No, up and against the grain. 872 00:39:20,496 --> 00:39:21,872 That ain't how you do it. 873 00:39:21,956 --> 00:39:23,583 Well, that's what he told me. 874 00:39:23,666 --> 00:39:25,043 Well, I know better. 875 00:39:25,126 --> 00:39:26,336 Now, who you gonna listen to, 876 00:39:26,419 --> 00:39:29,422 someone who just shaves his face or someone who shaves everywhere? 877 00:39:29,647 --> 00:39:30,923 Ew. 878 00:39:34,344 --> 00:39:36,634 You think that baby over there is cuter than my girl? 879 00:39:36,636 --> 00:39:37,637 Ay, please. 880 00:39:37,924 --> 00:39:40,808 You have the prettiest bebecita here, after mine. 881 00:39:40,891 --> 00:39:41,976 I know. 882 00:39:42,060 --> 00:39:43,061 [giggles] 883 00:39:44,729 --> 00:39:46,397 [Maria] Ay, look at her. 884 00:39:46,481 --> 00:39:48,358 She looks terrified. 885 00:39:48,441 --> 00:39:50,193 - [Maritza] Oh, she'll come around. - [Maria] Mmm-hmm. 886 00:39:50,276 --> 00:39:53,113 I mean, what's more beautiful than having a baby? 887 00:39:53,196 --> 00:39:54,614 Making a life? 888 00:39:54,697 --> 00:39:56,074 The smell of their heads, 889 00:39:56,157 --> 00:39:58,826 the way they put their whole weight on you when they fall asleep. 890 00:39:58,909 --> 00:40:00,453 She's gonna fall in love, and then she'll be fine. 891 00:40:00,536 --> 00:40:01,787 Mmm-hmm. 892 00:40:02,624 --> 00:40:05,500 Ay, chica, you got a little something on your shirt there. 893 00:40:05,583 --> 00:40:08,669 - What is that? Piss or shit? - Oh, it smells like shit. 894 00:40:08,753 --> 00:40:12,132 Oh, my God! This is so disgusting! 895 00:40:13,591 --> 00:40:15,510 - Here, take it! Take it! - Eh? 896 00:40:15,593 --> 00:40:16,927 [Maritza] So gross! 897 00:40:17,011 --> 00:40:18,846 _ 898 00:40:18,929 --> 00:40:20,014 [speaking English] Give it to my sister! 899 00:40:20,098 --> 00:40:21,849 [grunting] 900 00:40:21,932 --> 00:40:23,768 Okay, this is gettin' ridiculous. 901 00:40:23,851 --> 00:40:25,895 Kids, stand back. 902 00:40:32,193 --> 00:40:33,861 [kids exclaiming] 903 00:40:38,073 --> 00:40:39,825 [all screaming excitedly] 904 00:40:46,832 --> 00:40:48,126 - [boy] There's no candy. - Where's the candy? 905 00:40:48,209 --> 00:40:49,502 - [girl] It's empty. - Oh, my God. 906 00:40:49,585 --> 00:40:51,629 This is such a metaphor for their lives. 907 00:40:51,712 --> 00:40:52,713 Didn't you put it in? 908 00:40:52,797 --> 00:40:54,257 I wasn't supposed to put it in. 909 00:40:54,340 --> 00:40:57,051 And I was. Oh, jeez. It's probably still in the van. 910 00:40:57,135 --> 00:40:59,262 Well, no point getting it now. There's nothing to put it in. 911 00:40:59,345 --> 00:41:00,238 I'll take it. 912 00:41:00,721 --> 00:41:03,057 [boy] What's a piñata without candy? 913 00:41:06,936 --> 00:41:08,313 [inaudible] 914 00:41:14,046 --> 00:41:17,133 So, aside from the fact that he don't know how to shave, 915 00:41:17,405 --> 00:41:19,365 I am kind of happy you have a man around. 916 00:41:20,408 --> 00:41:21,867 Does he give you advice about girls and stuff? 917 00:41:21,951 --> 00:41:24,620 His advice about girls was... 918 00:41:24,704 --> 00:41:25,871 "Wait until marriage." 919 00:41:25,955 --> 00:41:27,915 Good Lord, one of those. 920 00:41:28,999 --> 00:41:30,251 Now, you want some real advice? 921 00:41:30,335 --> 00:41:32,837 From my second mom or my used-to-be dad? 922 00:41:33,303 --> 00:41:36,131 From former man to current man. 923 00:41:37,132 --> 00:41:40,553 Now, when I was your age, my dad told me, 924 00:41:40,657 --> 00:41:44,091 "Find a real insecure girl and practice on her. 925 00:41:44,734 --> 00:41:46,861 That way, when you meet a girl you really like, 926 00:41:47,017 --> 00:41:48,425 you'll be good at it." 927 00:41:49,060 --> 00:41:52,419 And you really wanna be a lady in a world where men do that? 928 00:41:53,858 --> 00:41:55,401 God help me, I do. 929 00:41:56,799 --> 00:41:58,363 And you're never tight again. 930 00:41:58,446 --> 00:42:01,218 I mean, you could work it back a little, but... 931 00:42:01,694 --> 00:42:04,202 it's never the same after you've torn that shit up. 932 00:42:04,285 --> 00:42:06,496 And you'll always pee yourself a little when you sneeze, 933 00:42:06,579 --> 00:42:08,163 and you never really sleep again. 934 00:42:09,457 --> 00:42:11,041 You got anything good to say about it? 935 00:42:11,326 --> 00:42:12,953 I just want you to be prepared. 936 00:42:14,128 --> 00:42:16,547 I mean, it's not all bad. You end up with a baby. 937 00:42:17,084 --> 00:42:18,508 It just ruins your life is all. 938 00:42:20,260 --> 00:42:21,511 You sayin' I ruined your life? 939 00:42:21,594 --> 00:42:22,882 Of course. 940 00:42:23,304 --> 00:42:25,306 The day you was born was the end. 941 00:42:26,474 --> 00:42:27,517 [sighs] 942 00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,560 She's just so perfect. 943 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:31,562 [baby Dayanara coos] 944 00:42:31,646 --> 00:42:35,928 How could anythin' be bad... if we made somethin' like this? 945 00:42:38,569 --> 00:42:40,821 - [baby Dayanara fussing] - [shushing] 946 00:42:43,658 --> 00:42:46,572 Anyone seen what's-her-name, the little one? 947 00:42:47,036 --> 00:42:48,424 She was getting me punch. 948 00:42:48,561 --> 00:42:50,089 I haven't seen her for a while. 949 00:42:51,499 --> 00:42:52,750 Go look for your sister. 950 00:42:53,901 --> 00:42:55,237 Lucy? 951 00:42:58,091 --> 00:42:59,134 Lucy! 952 00:42:59,402 --> 00:43:01,008 Go look for your sister. 953 00:43:03,886 --> 00:43:06,221 Now, this is nice. Mmm. 954 00:43:06,306 --> 00:43:08,057 This makes me happy. 955 00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:10,726 Happy Mother's Day, Ma. 956 00:43:10,810 --> 00:43:12,478 Happy Mother's Day. 957 00:43:12,562 --> 00:43:13,646 _ 958 00:43:13,729 --> 00:43:15,189 _ 959 00:43:15,273 --> 00:43:18,401 _ 960 00:43:18,484 --> 00:43:22,780 [speaking English] Ma... so, you ready for things to get goin' again? 961 00:43:23,531 --> 00:43:25,299 [whispers] I got a brand new LED headlamp. 962 00:43:26,158 --> 00:43:28,243 I think we're going to take a little break, darling. 963 00:43:28,971 --> 00:43:30,455 Actually, a long one. 964 00:43:31,339 --> 00:43:33,383 It's too much to think about. 965 00:43:33,791 --> 00:43:36,882 I need to think about the future, getting out, 966 00:43:36,990 --> 00:43:39,339 getting back to my life, my home... 967 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:40,715 the market. 968 00:43:44,677 --> 00:43:46,136 I need to look forward. 969 00:43:46,220 --> 00:43:47,305 Yeah. 970 00:43:50,308 --> 00:43:52,142 Who's minding the store today? 971 00:43:52,226 --> 00:43:53,478 [scoffs] What you mean, Ma? 972 00:43:53,561 --> 00:43:55,605 [chuckles] What I mean is, it's Mother's Day. 973 00:43:55,688 --> 00:43:57,482 That's always been a big day for us. 974 00:43:57,565 --> 00:43:59,692 Platters, baskets... 975 00:43:59,775 --> 00:44:02,069 _ 976 00:44:02,152 --> 00:44:03,988 _ 977 00:44:04,798 --> 00:44:06,532 [speaking English] We can afford to do that? 978 00:44:06,616 --> 00:44:07,661 Yeah. 979 00:44:08,409 --> 00:44:10,911 _ 980 00:44:15,625 --> 00:44:17,126 Hey. Hey, hey, hey. What's goin' on? 981 00:44:17,209 --> 00:44:18,293 Lucy's missing. 982 00:44:18,378 --> 00:44:19,545 - Oh, Jesus. - Oh. 983 00:44:19,629 --> 00:44:21,213 No, stop. What are you doing? 984 00:44:21,296 --> 00:44:22,340 I gotta call it in. 985 00:44:22,423 --> 00:44:23,549 If you call it in, they're gonna pull the alarm. 986 00:44:23,633 --> 00:44:26,176 The day's over for everybody. She's here someplace. 987 00:44:26,260 --> 00:44:28,388 - Let me look a little more. - [sighs] 988 00:44:28,471 --> 00:44:30,931 Okay, look, 20 minutes, okay? And then I gotta call it in. 989 00:44:31,015 --> 00:44:32,099 All right. 990 00:44:33,684 --> 00:44:34,727 [Pennsatucky] In the name of Jesus, 991 00:44:34,810 --> 00:44:36,812 I ask that the souls of my unborn babies 992 00:44:36,896 --> 00:44:40,107 be considered to enter the Holy Kingdom, 993 00:44:40,190 --> 00:44:42,985 even though they never had a chance to get baptized 994 00:44:43,068 --> 00:44:44,278 'cause I was wicked 995 00:44:45,279 --> 00:44:46,656 and I got 'em sucked out... 996 00:44:47,990 --> 00:44:49,366 'cause I was weak... 997 00:44:50,451 --> 00:44:51,786 and I didn't know any better. 998 00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:54,664 And I'm sorry. 999 00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:57,332 [sniffles] 1000 00:44:59,334 --> 00:45:02,469 I'm sorry that I never got to be your mama. 1001 00:45:02,471 --> 00:45:05,210 Little Blake and Bonnie... 1002 00:45:06,467 --> 00:45:09,038 Boyd, Bethany... 1003 00:45:10,345 --> 00:45:11,346 Braeden... 1004 00:45:13,140 --> 00:45:14,975 and even you, little Buddy Jr. 1005 00:45:16,143 --> 00:45:18,353 I see we're fond of the "B" names. 1006 00:45:19,814 --> 00:45:21,190 Yeah, I always liked that letter. 1007 00:45:22,399 --> 00:45:24,819 It's like a whole little graveyard here. 1008 00:45:26,195 --> 00:45:28,113 Yeah, these are all my unborn babies. 1009 00:45:28,197 --> 00:45:29,195 Ooh. 1010 00:45:29,699 --> 00:45:33,077 ♪ She got the Mother's Day blues ♪ 1011 00:45:34,954 --> 00:45:36,706 Jesus, you look like the Angel of Death. 1012 00:45:36,789 --> 00:45:37,915 I get that a lot. 1013 00:45:39,208 --> 00:45:41,461 Yeah, I'm goin' to hell. I know it. 1014 00:45:41,544 --> 00:45:43,295 I mean, even though I was saved and everything, 1015 00:45:43,378 --> 00:45:44,797 I just... 1016 00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,424 They never even had a chance, you know? 1017 00:45:47,508 --> 00:45:49,927 Son, you gotta let go of that shit. 1018 00:45:50,230 --> 00:45:51,386 It's easy for you to say. 1019 00:45:51,471 --> 00:45:54,014 I'm guessing you ain't never had to abort nobody. 1020 00:45:54,098 --> 00:45:55,683 A bold assumption. 1021 00:45:57,101 --> 00:46:00,270 You ever read a book called Freakonomics? 1022 00:46:00,295 --> 00:46:01,422 No. 1023 00:46:01,682 --> 00:46:03,941 What's it about, bearded ladies and midgets? 1024 00:46:03,943 --> 00:46:07,406 Close. It's about economic theory, cause and effect. 1025 00:46:08,571 --> 00:46:09,655 Sounds boring. 1026 00:46:09,739 --> 00:46:11,678 Mmm. It's actually a pretty good read. 1027 00:46:12,298 --> 00:46:13,993 They have this chapter in it, 1028 00:46:14,076 --> 00:46:15,995 "Where Have All the Criminals Gone?" 1029 00:46:17,580 --> 00:46:18,789 Over there in that field. 1030 00:46:18,873 --> 00:46:20,290 [chuckles] 1031 00:46:20,374 --> 00:46:22,417 You know, in the 1990s, 1032 00:46:22,502 --> 00:46:25,129 crime fell spectacularly, 1033 00:46:25,212 --> 00:46:28,619 and this book attributes that to the passing of Roe v. Wade. 1034 00:46:28,883 --> 00:46:30,510 The Darkness of '73. 1035 00:46:30,593 --> 00:46:33,053 The exact opposite, actually. 1036 00:46:33,137 --> 00:46:35,806 I mean, the abortions that occurred after Roe v. Wade... 1037 00:46:35,890 --> 00:46:37,767 These were children that weren't wanted. 1038 00:46:37,850 --> 00:46:40,978 Children who, if their mothers had been forced to have them, 1039 00:46:41,061 --> 00:46:43,981 would've grown up poor and neglected and abused, 1040 00:46:44,064 --> 00:46:48,152 the three most important ingredients when one is making a felon. 1041 00:46:48,235 --> 00:46:49,904 But they were never born. 1042 00:46:49,987 --> 00:46:51,446 So, 20 years later, 1043 00:46:51,531 --> 00:46:54,491 when they would've been of prime crime age, 1044 00:46:54,575 --> 00:46:55,993 they weren't there. 1045 00:46:56,076 --> 00:46:57,995 And the crime rate... [scoffs] 1046 00:46:58,078 --> 00:46:59,955 Dropped dramatically. 1047 00:47:00,039 --> 00:47:02,082 - What's your point? - Well, my point is that 1048 00:47:02,166 --> 00:47:04,794 you were a meth-head, white-trash piece of shit, 1049 00:47:04,877 --> 00:47:06,211 and your children, had they been born, 1050 00:47:06,295 --> 00:47:08,673 would have been meth-head, white-trash pieces of shit. 1051 00:47:08,756 --> 00:47:10,841 So by terminating those pregnancies, 1052 00:47:10,925 --> 00:47:14,970 you spared society the scourge of your offspring. 1053 00:47:15,054 --> 00:47:18,015 I mean, when you think about it, it's... a blessing. 1054 00:47:19,058 --> 00:47:21,518 Never thought about it that way. 1055 00:47:21,602 --> 00:47:23,270 Well, maybe you should, hmm? 1056 00:47:23,353 --> 00:47:25,147 Maybe you should stop punishing yourself. 1057 00:47:25,230 --> 00:47:26,941 I mean, what does a good mother do? 1058 00:47:27,024 --> 00:47:29,443 A good mother does what's best for her children. 1059 00:47:29,526 --> 00:47:31,862 And maybe what was best for your children 1060 00:47:31,946 --> 00:47:35,157 was wipin' 'em out before they had to lead miserable fucking lives. 1061 00:47:39,662 --> 00:47:40,830 Yeah. 1062 00:47:40,913 --> 00:47:42,372 Maybe. 1063 00:47:42,374 --> 00:47:44,374 It makes me feel a little better, actually. 1064 00:47:44,458 --> 00:47:45,751 [chuckles] 1065 00:47:45,835 --> 00:47:47,962 Good, then I've done my job. 1066 00:47:48,045 --> 00:47:50,352 - "Clown cheers crowd." - [chuckling] 1067 00:47:53,801 --> 00:47:54,802 [softly] Lucy? 1068 00:47:56,178 --> 00:47:57,179 Lucy! 1069 00:47:58,222 --> 00:47:59,974 Where the fuck are you? 1070 00:48:06,689 --> 00:48:09,191 - [alarm buzzes] - [sighs] 1071 00:48:09,274 --> 00:48:11,957 Motherfuckers. They couldn't wait? 1072 00:48:17,700 --> 00:48:19,702 I want to stay with Daya. 1073 00:48:19,785 --> 00:48:21,578 You're in so much fucking trouble. 1074 00:48:21,662 --> 00:48:23,122 [guard 1] Everybody, on the ground! 1075 00:48:24,624 --> 00:48:25,750 [guard 2] Get down! Right where you are! 1076 00:48:25,833 --> 00:48:27,417 - [kid sobbing] - [guard 3] Get down on the ground! 1077 00:48:27,501 --> 00:48:28,753 [Black Cindy grunts] 1078 00:48:28,836 --> 00:48:30,462 - [guard 1] Get down! - [girl 1] Mommy, get up! 1079 00:48:31,338 --> 00:48:33,590 [guard 4] Everyone out of those porta-potties now! 1080 00:48:33,674 --> 00:48:34,675 [Nicky] Fuck. 1081 00:48:35,676 --> 00:48:36,844 We're on our way. 1082 00:48:36,927 --> 00:48:39,596 - [girl 1] Mommy, get up! - [girl 2] Do I get on the ground? 1083 00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:41,766 - Mama, what's happening? Get up. - It's okay. Mommy's fine. 1084 00:48:41,849 --> 00:48:44,101 - [girl 3] Is everything okay? - [guard 1] Stay down until we tell you! 1085 00:48:44,184 --> 00:48:45,519 [girl 4 whimpering] 1086 00:48:46,729 --> 00:48:48,022 [sobbing] 1087 00:48:55,655 --> 00:48:57,239 [Maria sighs] 1088 00:48:57,807 --> 00:48:58,808 Good day? 1089 00:48:58,810 --> 00:49:00,019 So good. 1090 00:49:01,326 --> 00:49:03,704 Yads, thank you for bringing her. 1091 00:49:04,424 --> 00:49:06,999 Okay, all right, mami. 1092 00:49:07,315 --> 00:49:09,251 I'll see you next week. 1093 00:49:10,335 --> 00:49:11,503 I don't think so. 1094 00:49:11,586 --> 00:49:13,213 "I don't think so"? What do you mean, "I don't think so"? 1095 00:49:13,297 --> 00:49:16,216 She's getting bigger. She's startin' to understand things. 1096 00:49:16,863 --> 00:49:17,736 I've been reading... 1097 00:49:18,962 --> 00:49:20,218 I don't want her seeing her mother in prison, 1098 00:49:20,220 --> 00:49:21,388 thinkin' this is normal. 1099 00:49:23,598 --> 00:49:25,142 It's best we cut this off right now. 1100 00:49:25,225 --> 00:49:26,310 What are you talkin' about? 1101 00:49:26,852 --> 00:49:28,979 Ruiz, you move it along. 1102 00:49:29,063 --> 00:49:30,522 What do you mean, "Cut this off"? 1103 00:49:30,803 --> 00:49:32,399 - You gonna walk away from me? - Sorry, Maria. 1104 00:49:32,482 --> 00:49:34,068 What, I don't have a choice in this? 1105 00:49:34,151 --> 00:49:35,861 Yadri... Wait! Wait! 1106 00:49:35,945 --> 00:49:36,946 Yadriel! 1107 00:49:37,029 --> 00:49:39,699 Yadriel! Yadriel! Coño! 1108 00:49:39,782 --> 00:49:40,950 Yadriel! [gasping] 1109 00:49:41,033 --> 00:49:43,160 Oh, my... Fuck! 1110 00:49:43,243 --> 00:49:44,536 [gasps] 1111 00:49:54,338 --> 00:49:56,006 [folk-pop music playing] 1112 00:50:35,072 --> 00:50:38,411 _ 1113 00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:49,726 [music continues playing] 1114 00:50:49,727 --> 00:50:51,727 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com