1 00:00:00,106 --> 00:00:02,108 [cell door slams] 2 00:00:02,817 --> 00:00:04,235 [theme song playing] 3 00:00:47,199 --> 00:00:49,034 [cell door slams] 4 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,760 [cell door slams] 5 00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:12,474 [Dayanara groaning] 6 00:01:18,188 --> 00:01:20,148 Feels like somebody's strangling my guts. 7 00:01:20,232 --> 00:01:21,900 I know. 8 00:01:21,984 --> 00:01:23,736 It's like they squeeze them till they die. 9 00:01:23,819 --> 00:01:27,239 I know, mami, I know. But you have to relax. 10 00:01:27,322 --> 00:01:29,282 Try to roll through it, okay? 11 00:01:29,366 --> 00:01:31,534 You fight it, it's worse. 12 00:01:31,618 --> 00:01:33,912 Aquí, put this behind her back. 13 00:01:33,996 --> 00:01:35,831 - Bebé. - [Dayanara] Thanks. 14 00:01:36,832 --> 00:01:40,210 This is why I never had kids. The curse of Eve. 15 00:01:40,293 --> 00:01:43,338 You told me it was 'cause Diablo's junk don't work. 16 00:01:43,421 --> 00:01:45,340 [speaking English] Yeah. That, too. 17 00:01:45,423 --> 00:01:48,927 I can't wait for this baby to come, so she can stop being pregnant. 18 00:01:49,011 --> 00:01:52,597 "Oh! My back! Oh, I'm shitting in pellets now." 19 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,600 Have some compassion. You had a baby, too. 20 00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:57,770 Yeah, but it wasn't a big deal. 21 00:01:57,853 --> 00:01:59,604 I didn't know she was in there till, like, seven months. 22 00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:02,900 How could you not know? You weigh 90 pounds. 23 00:02:02,983 --> 00:02:05,610 You must have looked like a egg with four sticks in it. 24 00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,362 I'm not a scientist, okay? 25 00:02:07,445 --> 00:02:09,156 I was smoking a lot of pot that summer. 26 00:02:12,575 --> 00:02:14,077 I got pineapple! 27 00:02:14,161 --> 00:02:15,788 You eat this, things will go fast. 28 00:02:15,871 --> 00:02:18,540 La china found it on the bottom shelf in commissary. 29 00:02:18,623 --> 00:02:21,001 It's from 2006, but cans last forever, right? 30 00:02:21,084 --> 00:02:23,211 I don't want her in here. She tried to sell the baby. 31 00:02:23,295 --> 00:02:25,588 It's not about the baby. It's about you. 32 00:02:25,672 --> 00:02:28,801 She's a whole thing, but she loves you... in her way. 33 00:02:28,884 --> 00:02:31,762 Her way's not good enough! 34 00:02:31,845 --> 00:02:33,471 Seriously, get out! 35 00:02:33,555 --> 00:02:35,766 Go, get the fuck out! 36 00:02:35,849 --> 00:02:37,017 [groaning] 37 00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:41,396 [Gloria] Okay, all right. You're doing good, mami, that's good. 38 00:02:41,479 --> 00:02:42,522 [Aleida] So, mamá... 39 00:02:42,605 --> 00:02:45,442 I saw a flyer for a camp, upstate. 40 00:02:45,525 --> 00:02:47,444 What kind of camp? 41 00:02:47,527 --> 00:02:49,237 Camp. 42 00:02:49,321 --> 00:02:53,658 Like swimming and shooting a bow and arrow and shit. 43 00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:55,618 They have a program for city kids. 44 00:02:55,702 --> 00:02:59,706 "City kids" meaning "poor brown kids." 45 00:02:59,789 --> 00:03:01,249 [speaking English] So? 46 00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:03,877 Irma from down the street 47 00:03:03,961 --> 00:03:07,505 Put her boy in an after-school program at the community center. 48 00:03:07,589 --> 00:03:11,593 Two weeks later, the social workers show up. 49 00:03:11,676 --> 00:03:16,348 "What does he eat for breakfast?" "How did he get that bruise?" 50 00:03:16,431 --> 00:03:20,185 He got that bruise when Irma punched him in the head 51 00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:23,188 for thugging around like a little shit. 52 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,190 That's her business. 53 00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:28,776 The government, the clubs, the help lines... 54 00:03:28,861 --> 00:03:31,738 they think they can raise our kids better than us. 55 00:03:31,822 --> 00:03:33,031 Their way. 56 00:03:33,115 --> 00:03:35,033 I want her to have a better life. 57 00:03:35,117 --> 00:03:37,911 Even if it doesn't include you? 58 00:03:37,995 --> 00:03:39,246 [speaking English] Ma, look! 59 00:03:39,329 --> 00:03:41,623 It's a balloon that looks like a condom. 60 00:03:48,839 --> 00:03:51,424 [Lorna] I don't wanna be crass about it, but... 61 00:03:51,508 --> 00:03:53,593 everyone knows I'm your best daughter. 62 00:03:53,676 --> 00:03:59,057 But I... will massage your feet every day for a week with my hands. 63 00:03:59,141 --> 00:04:01,101 This is an open lottery, ladies. 64 00:04:01,184 --> 00:04:04,396 I don't play favorites, I don't take bribes. 65 00:04:04,479 --> 00:04:07,941 Put your names on the list, and good luck to you. 66 00:04:08,859 --> 00:04:10,652 They're the ones who gave her the ticket out. 67 00:04:10,735 --> 00:04:12,445 What did they think she was gonna do? 68 00:04:12,529 --> 00:04:15,782 I just can't believe she sat in that bus station like a flat balloon. 69 00:04:15,866 --> 00:04:17,367 I guess she lost faith. 70 00:04:18,743 --> 00:04:20,453 Either that or there's some kind of flaw 71 00:04:20,537 --> 00:04:23,706 in our randomly improvised Norma-based theological system. 72 00:04:23,790 --> 00:04:26,877 That attitude is not gonna help us get seats at this dinner. 73 00:04:29,379 --> 00:04:32,007 I heard the zucchini night was incredible. 74 00:04:32,090 --> 00:04:33,633 Girl, I was there. 75 00:04:33,716 --> 00:04:38,346 She did this fried thing with the flowers that made tears come out of my eyes. 76 00:04:38,430 --> 00:04:39,890 Wait, if you went to the last one, 77 00:04:39,973 --> 00:04:42,350 you should let someone else have a chance. 78 00:04:42,434 --> 00:04:43,601 Past is the past. 79 00:04:43,685 --> 00:04:44,937 Today is a new day, 80 00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:48,815 and we're all equal in Red's magic restaurant. 81 00:04:48,899 --> 00:04:51,109 Not to brag, but if you make it in, 82 00:04:51,193 --> 00:04:55,030 you will feel things about corn you have never felt before. 83 00:04:55,113 --> 00:04:56,907 - [Anita chuckles] - Good luck, ladies. 84 00:04:56,990 --> 00:05:00,953 For the record, I'm an excellent conversationalist on at least... 85 00:05:02,579 --> 00:05:03,997 four topics. 86 00:05:04,081 --> 00:05:05,748 Oh... 87 00:05:12,130 --> 00:05:13,966 You look kind of busted. 88 00:05:14,049 --> 00:05:16,384 Busted or broken-up-with? 89 00:05:17,552 --> 00:05:19,137 Wow, sorry. 90 00:05:20,638 --> 00:05:23,308 But not that sorry. It's kind of a relief, isn't it? 91 00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:25,477 Maybe, I don't know. 92 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:29,439 I mean... she was acting so weird, but it's still, I can't even... It's... 93 00:05:29,522 --> 00:05:30,815 She broke up with me? 94 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:33,110 [chuckles] That's your ego talking. 95 00:05:33,193 --> 00:05:34,319 I mean, what am I supposed to do now? 96 00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:35,653 It's like, we still live in the same place. 97 00:05:35,737 --> 00:05:36,904 It's not like I can just go take off, 98 00:05:36,989 --> 00:05:39,657 and visit my slacker cousins in California for a few weeks 99 00:05:39,741 --> 00:05:41,284 while I lick my wounds and stalk her on Facebook. 100 00:05:41,368 --> 00:05:44,746 Stop being such a girl, Chapman. 101 00:05:46,873 --> 00:05:48,791 Come with me to movie night. 102 00:05:50,085 --> 00:05:52,712 You know, Alex and I may be on a break right now, 103 00:05:52,795 --> 00:05:55,007 and it's not like I... 104 00:05:56,341 --> 00:05:58,010 It's not like I don't feel things. 105 00:05:58,093 --> 00:05:59,177 I just don't... 106 00:05:59,261 --> 00:06:02,055 I don't think I'm ready to just jump into a whole new thing. 107 00:06:02,139 --> 00:06:04,182 I think I'm gonna need a little bit of time. 108 00:06:04,266 --> 00:06:08,561 So, the assumption there is that I'm some starving lesbian jackal 109 00:06:08,645 --> 00:06:12,857 just waiting to pounce on the... warm bones of your relationship. 110 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:14,609 - Well, fuck you. - No. 111 00:06:14,692 --> 00:06:17,654 That's not... I was just trying to... 112 00:06:17,737 --> 00:06:20,990 Was just... I guess I was just trying to be considerate or whatever. 113 00:06:21,074 --> 00:06:24,452 Well, for your information, the jackal does just fine. 114 00:06:26,746 --> 00:06:27,955 Do you know where Berdie is? 115 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:31,126 I went to her office this morning and she wasn't there. 116 00:06:31,209 --> 00:06:34,879 She's suspended while they investigate an incident. 117 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,548 For how long? 118 00:06:36,631 --> 00:06:38,425 I... I have no idea. 119 00:06:39,759 --> 00:06:43,721 I think maybe you... were right. 120 00:06:43,805 --> 00:06:45,515 Which time? 121 00:06:45,598 --> 00:06:46,933 When you... 122 00:06:48,060 --> 00:06:50,270 said I should try medication. 123 00:06:51,729 --> 00:06:53,273 I never really thought I'd do it, 124 00:06:53,356 --> 00:06:57,569 but I don't wanna feel like this anymore. 125 00:06:58,778 --> 00:07:00,280 I'll give you another referral, 126 00:07:00,363 --> 00:07:03,200 with a recommendation for antidepressants. 127 00:07:04,867 --> 00:07:07,620 I really do think they'll help a lot. 128 00:07:10,248 --> 00:07:12,584 Do you know what they'll give me? 129 00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:18,506 MCC just subcontracted Medical out to another corporation. 130 00:07:20,425 --> 00:07:22,760 New doctors, new rules... 131 00:07:25,263 --> 00:07:28,683 but... first steps. 132 00:07:34,481 --> 00:07:36,233 I could tell Caputo, I guess. 133 00:07:37,109 --> 00:07:39,194 He did march old Pornstache right out of here 134 00:07:39,277 --> 00:07:43,406 when he found out what happened with him and that Spanish girl, remember? 135 00:07:43,490 --> 00:07:44,866 The one that looks like a goldfish. 136 00:07:44,949 --> 00:07:47,660 Yeah, but Spanish girl had a belly full of fetus. 137 00:07:47,744 --> 00:07:49,496 That's why the marching happened. 138 00:07:49,579 --> 00:07:52,124 I mean, short of that... [scoffs] you're farting in the wind. 139 00:07:52,207 --> 00:07:53,541 I know, but I'm telling the truth. 140 00:07:53,625 --> 00:07:56,128 Yep, and Donuts, he's gonna lie. 141 00:07:56,211 --> 00:07:57,754 Who do you think they'll believe? 142 00:07:57,837 --> 00:07:59,756 I have a feeling you're gonna say it ain't me. 143 00:07:59,839 --> 00:08:01,758 We are liars and degenerates, 144 00:08:01,841 --> 00:08:04,844 and we deserve everything that happens to us. 145 00:08:04,927 --> 00:08:08,181 So, I get fucked and now I'm screwed. 146 00:08:08,265 --> 00:08:10,850 Yep, that's about the short of it. 147 00:08:10,933 --> 00:08:12,977 But that don't make it over. 148 00:08:13,978 --> 00:08:15,355 You hear me? 149 00:08:15,438 --> 00:08:17,315 Hey! 150 00:08:17,399 --> 00:08:20,610 You got a big, angry bull dyke on your side now. 151 00:08:20,693 --> 00:08:23,988 And I am a firm believer in good ol'-fashioned revenge. 152 00:08:25,407 --> 00:08:28,034 You ain't thinking about killing him, are you? 153 00:08:28,118 --> 00:08:30,828 Nah, that shit's too messy. 154 00:08:30,912 --> 00:08:33,706 Nope, I got a better idea. 155 00:08:33,790 --> 00:08:38,253 We are gonna go full-on Girl with the Dragon Tattoo on this guy. 156 00:08:38,336 --> 00:08:41,464 [scoffs] What's us getting tattoos gonna teach him? 157 00:08:42,382 --> 00:08:44,134 [laughing] 158 00:08:44,217 --> 00:08:45,927 No. 159 00:08:46,010 --> 00:08:47,387 See... 160 00:08:47,470 --> 00:08:50,307 Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, it's Swedish. 161 00:08:50,390 --> 00:08:51,974 It means, "We're gonna rape him back." 162 00:08:55,145 --> 00:08:57,980 Whoa, got it all lubed up for you there, Rodcocker. 163 00:08:58,064 --> 00:08:59,899 Aw, Jesus Christ already. 164 00:08:59,982 --> 00:09:01,734 [Big Boo stifling laughter] 165 00:09:05,071 --> 00:09:07,114 - I'm closed. - [Reema] That's cool. 166 00:09:07,199 --> 00:09:09,701 We just wanted to ask you a question. 167 00:09:11,328 --> 00:09:14,247 Spanish been saying how you still got your dick. 168 00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,500 - That true? - [Sophia sighs] 169 00:09:17,584 --> 00:09:19,126 What you got between your legs is your business, 170 00:09:19,211 --> 00:09:21,045 - and what I got is mine. - Maybe. 171 00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:25,508 But my man is out at Lexington and he's having a real hard time. 172 00:09:25,592 --> 00:09:27,427 Hard. 173 00:09:27,510 --> 00:09:31,097 Meanwhile, you hiding out in here, "pretending" to be a female. 174 00:09:31,181 --> 00:09:33,516 [Gabby] Seems like you got it all figured out. 175 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,353 You have any idea how ignorant you sound? 176 00:09:37,312 --> 00:09:40,898 We just want a little peek. Educate ourselves. 177 00:09:42,275 --> 00:09:43,276 [scoffs] 178 00:09:46,696 --> 00:09:48,323 Get the fuck out of my house. 179 00:09:49,907 --> 00:09:51,033 Not till we see it. 180 00:09:51,117 --> 00:09:52,619 [Gabby] Get her! Get her! [Sophia grunting] 181 00:09:52,702 --> 00:09:54,412 [Reema] Fuck you, she-male! [Sophia] Fuck! 182 00:09:54,496 --> 00:09:55,830 [Gabby laughing] 183 00:09:56,873 --> 00:09:58,708 [both grunting] 184 00:09:59,209 --> 00:10:00,585 [Reema] Ow! 185 00:10:02,295 --> 00:10:04,964 Damn, I told you he still had his man strength! 186 00:10:06,841 --> 00:10:09,093 Don't think I won't kill you, you fucking cunt! 187 00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,970 [Gabby] That's it, bitch! [Sophia grunting] 188 00:10:11,053 --> 00:10:12,972 [Sophia] Fuck you, bitches. 189 00:10:13,055 --> 00:10:14,891 - Help me! - I'll get Caputo. 190 00:10:17,018 --> 00:10:19,687 I try to do the right thing, and my own daughter hates me. 191 00:10:19,771 --> 00:10:21,731 But at least your daughter knows who you are. 192 00:10:21,814 --> 00:10:24,025 Pepa ain't even gonna remember me. 193 00:10:24,942 --> 00:10:26,819 It ain't like you deserve it, naming your daughter Pepa. 194 00:10:26,903 --> 00:10:29,947 Hey! Yo, Push It is me and Yadriel's song, a'ight? 195 00:10:30,031 --> 00:10:31,616 Whatever, I'm sorry. 196 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,118 But I'm telling you, kids... [scoffs] 197 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:37,372 All they do is break your balls, morning to night. 198 00:10:37,455 --> 00:10:39,457 And yet you had, like, 11 of them. 199 00:10:39,541 --> 00:10:41,042 What else was I doing, right? 200 00:10:42,043 --> 00:10:45,297 Plus, when they little, they love you so much. 201 00:10:45,380 --> 00:10:47,674 It's like having fans. 202 00:10:47,757 --> 00:10:49,592 Who puke on you, but still. 203 00:10:49,676 --> 00:10:51,093 [sighs] 204 00:10:51,177 --> 00:10:53,054 Yeah, they think you're perfect. 205 00:10:53,137 --> 00:10:55,557 No one else is ever gonna feel that way about us, that's for sure. 206 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,850 That's the thing, isn't it? 207 00:10:57,934 --> 00:11:00,562 You know, I kept leaving these messages, 208 00:11:00,645 --> 00:11:04,441 calling him an asshole, saying, "Oh, my baby girl needs her mama." 209 00:11:04,524 --> 00:11:08,695 But... the truth is... that she's fine. 210 00:11:08,778 --> 00:11:10,697 Yadriel loves her. 211 00:11:10,780 --> 00:11:14,576 His mother is a good person... and she's gonna be okay. 212 00:11:15,618 --> 00:11:18,245 I'm not freaking out because she needs me. 213 00:11:18,330 --> 00:11:20,957 I'm freaking out because I need her. 214 00:11:23,501 --> 00:11:25,920 [indistinct chattering] 215 00:11:33,052 --> 00:11:34,762 Hi, can I get your name, please? 216 00:11:34,846 --> 00:11:36,013 Diaz. 217 00:11:37,014 --> 00:11:40,727 - I've got seven Diazes. - Dayanara. 218 00:11:40,810 --> 00:11:44,397 Okay, cool! That's a pretty name. 219 00:11:44,481 --> 00:11:47,108 - I wanna go home. - [Stacy] I know. 220 00:11:47,191 --> 00:11:49,736 It's weird being in a new place with all new people, right? 221 00:11:49,819 --> 00:11:52,864 But I promise by tomorrow, you're gonna be settling right in. 222 00:11:52,947 --> 00:11:54,532 You got a phone here, if she needs me? 223 00:11:54,616 --> 00:11:57,869 We have a policy of no phone calls home for the first week. 224 00:11:57,952 --> 00:11:59,829 It helps the campers get acclimated. 225 00:12:01,330 --> 00:12:02,874 You're in Cabin Six! 226 00:12:02,957 --> 00:12:05,377 Why don't I take you over to meet your new bunk mates? 227 00:12:05,460 --> 00:12:06,628 I can take her things. 228 00:12:07,587 --> 00:12:08,880 So, this is it? 229 00:12:08,963 --> 00:12:11,298 She's gonna have a great time. 230 00:12:11,383 --> 00:12:12,800 I hate it here! 231 00:12:12,884 --> 00:12:16,262 There are bugs on the ground! You can't make me stay! 232 00:12:16,345 --> 00:12:18,139 [Aleida] Remember how we talked about this? 233 00:12:18,222 --> 00:12:20,349 I wanna go home, Mommy, please! 234 00:12:20,433 --> 00:12:22,477 Óyeme, you little brat. 235 00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:24,396 You think I got nothing better to do than take care of you? 236 00:12:24,479 --> 00:12:27,106 This is my one-month vacation! 237 00:12:27,189 --> 00:12:30,234 And I got things planned starting tonight. Mommy's going out. 238 00:12:32,236 --> 00:12:33,821 [whimpering] Mommy, no... 239 00:12:33,905 --> 00:12:37,199 Can you... can you just go with her? Just... 240 00:12:39,577 --> 00:12:41,704 - Mommy! - Daya, please! 241 00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,374 I think you should go now. 242 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:50,046 Mommy! Mommy, come back! Mommy! 243 00:12:51,964 --> 00:12:53,591 Mommy! 244 00:12:55,802 --> 00:12:57,512 Mommy! 245 00:13:27,208 --> 00:13:28,460 Hey. 246 00:13:28,543 --> 00:13:30,086 Hi. 247 00:13:30,169 --> 00:13:32,464 - You doing okay? - Why wouldn't I be? 248 00:13:32,547 --> 00:13:35,467 Don't be obtuse. I'm not trying to be a dick. 249 00:13:35,550 --> 00:13:37,802 - I'm fine. - Seriously? That's how you're doing... 250 00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:41,430 Hey, hey, you guys got a second? It's about, um... you know... 251 00:13:41,514 --> 00:13:43,850 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that's more her deal now. 252 00:13:43,933 --> 00:13:47,479 Oh, cool. Look, I... I got a problem. 253 00:13:48,145 --> 00:13:50,690 Did you get the stuff to Cal? 254 00:13:50,773 --> 00:13:52,900 See you later, Chapman. 255 00:13:55,194 --> 00:13:58,197 Everything went fine, okay? I just... 256 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,116 I can't do this anymore, all right? 257 00:14:00,199 --> 00:14:01,659 It's not worth it. I'm sorry. 258 00:14:23,890 --> 00:14:26,893 "Generalized depression and anxiety, 259 00:14:26,976 --> 00:14:30,688 low self-esteem and feelings of isolation." 260 00:14:30,772 --> 00:14:32,815 Mr. Healy says pills might work. 261 00:14:32,899 --> 00:14:35,610 I think you're a candidate for Doxepin. 262 00:14:35,693 --> 00:14:38,279 It might make you a little sleepy, but... 263 00:14:38,362 --> 00:14:40,782 if you're asleep, you won't eat compulsively 264 00:14:40,865 --> 00:14:43,075 and get fat, which is another side effect. 265 00:14:43,159 --> 00:14:44,702 We wouldn't want that. 266 00:14:46,871 --> 00:14:50,708 I'm gonna peek in your chart. You had a physical, right? 267 00:14:50,792 --> 00:14:53,210 When I first got here, six months ago. 268 00:14:53,294 --> 00:14:56,589 Yeah... I'm still moving in. 269 00:14:56,673 --> 00:15:00,677 I've got D to G and P through R. 270 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,930 You're probably in the other room. Give me a sec. 271 00:15:19,445 --> 00:15:23,700 I don't need this right now, inmate. I'm developing a fucking ulcer. 272 00:15:23,783 --> 00:15:26,118 None of this is my fault. 273 00:15:26,202 --> 00:15:28,162 They jumped me. I was attacked. 274 00:15:28,245 --> 00:15:29,789 I know. 275 00:15:29,872 --> 00:15:33,125 - You do? - Yes. 276 00:15:33,209 --> 00:15:35,545 I hear things. 277 00:15:35,628 --> 00:15:38,339 How things have been going ugly for you for a while now. 278 00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:40,466 It's herd mentality. 279 00:15:40,550 --> 00:15:42,844 The tide turns, everybody wigs out. 280 00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:46,681 People don't like what they can't understand. 281 00:15:46,764 --> 00:15:49,433 So, what are you gonna do about it? 282 00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,518 I'm gonna have the guards keep a closer eye on you. 283 00:15:51,603 --> 00:15:53,145 They'll be ready if anything starts up. 284 00:15:53,229 --> 00:15:55,815 So, basically, you're putting me under surveillance? 285 00:15:55,898 --> 00:15:57,483 Well, there's not much else I can do. 286 00:15:57,567 --> 00:16:01,946 There's a lot you could do, starting with firing CO Sikowitz. 287 00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:05,199 Sikowitz is not the problem here. 288 00:16:05,282 --> 00:16:07,994 The problem is she's a chipmunk in boots 289 00:16:08,077 --> 00:16:10,997 who never got proper training due to negligence. 290 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:12,707 [sobbing] I want her fired, 291 00:16:12,790 --> 00:16:16,377 and I want crisis and sensitivity training for all the guards. 292 00:16:17,795 --> 00:16:18,880 Look... 293 00:16:20,297 --> 00:16:21,465 Burset... 294 00:16:22,383 --> 00:16:24,551 I sympathize, I really do. 295 00:16:24,636 --> 00:16:27,221 But we have to be realistic about our recourse here. 296 00:16:28,097 --> 00:16:31,893 Ask my lawyer how realistic I am. 297 00:16:31,976 --> 00:16:35,479 Your lawyer? These guys have teams of lawyers. 298 00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:38,775 Driving in Mercedes, expensing lunches... 299 00:16:38,858 --> 00:16:42,820 and crushing cases like yours under their Italian leather shoes. 300 00:16:43,988 --> 00:16:46,323 I have no doubt. 301 00:16:47,324 --> 00:16:49,035 But here's what I got. 302 00:16:49,118 --> 00:16:50,870 A Post headline... 303 00:16:50,953 --> 00:16:52,997 "She-Male Jail Fail. 304 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,833 Balls to the Wall in Tranny Prison Brawl." 305 00:16:55,917 --> 00:16:58,544 That shit sells like hotcakes. 306 00:16:58,628 --> 00:17:02,589 And everyone will be reading about it, and everyone will be talking about it, 307 00:17:02,674 --> 00:17:05,051 including the ladies of The View. 308 00:17:05,134 --> 00:17:08,763 You think MCC wants that kind of attention? 309 00:17:08,846 --> 00:17:11,098 Jesus, Burset. 310 00:17:11,182 --> 00:17:13,350 Why you do you have to make everything so hard? 311 00:17:14,852 --> 00:17:18,314 No offense, but fuck you... 312 00:17:18,397 --> 00:17:19,857 sir. 313 00:17:23,861 --> 00:17:25,404 [sniffing] Oh, Jesus. 314 00:17:25,487 --> 00:17:27,281 I think we need a plan B. 315 00:17:27,364 --> 00:17:28,700 Are you pussying out on me right now? 316 00:17:28,783 --> 00:17:33,620 Look, if being a pussy is not wanting to eat rats in SHU, then... 317 00:17:33,705 --> 00:17:35,372 [loudly] No one's going to SHU... 318 00:17:36,123 --> 00:17:37,249 Louder. 319 00:17:40,461 --> 00:17:43,047 Remember how I was in the Puppy Program? 320 00:17:44,006 --> 00:17:47,593 Well, see, I may have palmed a doggie sedative, 321 00:17:47,677 --> 00:17:49,053 or four, 322 00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:52,056 that I have been keeping as a treat for myself 323 00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:54,266 in case I would like to fake a seizure, 324 00:17:54,350 --> 00:17:58,479 go on a vacation to a hospital and touch nurses. 325 00:17:59,521 --> 00:18:01,941 Do you see, this is how much I care about you, Doggett. 326 00:18:02,024 --> 00:18:06,487 I am willing to burn that dream on you. 327 00:18:07,822 --> 00:18:10,867 Wait, are you saying that you want to put the puppy night-night pill, 328 00:18:10,950 --> 00:18:11,951 like, in his coffee? 329 00:18:12,034 --> 00:18:14,120 [chuckling] Yeah, he won't even see us coming. 330 00:18:14,203 --> 00:18:15,788 [chuckles] Then what? 331 00:18:15,872 --> 00:18:19,751 Then he wakes up with a flashlight shoved up his ass. 332 00:18:19,834 --> 00:18:24,046 Boo, how do you expect to fit a flashlight up someone's ass 333 00:18:24,130 --> 00:18:25,672 that hasn't had a warm up? 334 00:18:25,757 --> 00:18:28,467 Okay, uh, something slippery? Bar of soap? 335 00:18:28,550 --> 00:18:30,677 Yeah, but bars of soap? They're even wider. 336 00:18:30,762 --> 00:18:33,139 - Think about it, they're like... - Assuming his shit is tight. 337 00:18:33,222 --> 00:18:36,475 I mean, you'd be surprised what people get up to in their free time. 338 00:18:37,559 --> 00:18:38,560 What? 339 00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,481 How about... 340 00:18:42,564 --> 00:18:45,359 How about a broom? A broomstick? 341 00:18:45,442 --> 00:18:47,194 - Great. - No, wait, wait, wait, wait. 342 00:18:48,112 --> 00:18:51,407 Nope, splinters. He'll get splinters in his ass. 343 00:18:51,490 --> 00:18:52,784 Doggett... 344 00:18:52,867 --> 00:18:56,746 his comfort is not our fucking concern. 345 00:18:57,747 --> 00:18:59,456 - That's right. - It's right. 346 00:18:59,540 --> 00:19:01,834 - Yeah. - You got me there. 347 00:19:01,918 --> 00:19:04,128 I'm just a girl trying to start a business, 348 00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:06,756 get a tiny piece of the American dream for myself. 349 00:19:06,839 --> 00:19:08,215 Why does the universe hate me? 350 00:19:08,299 --> 00:19:10,843 He's not quitting. 351 00:19:10,927 --> 00:19:14,305 He's wised up. He's playing you like a fiddle. 352 00:19:16,265 --> 00:19:19,310 Shit... you're right. 353 00:19:20,602 --> 00:19:22,939 - He said it wasn't worth it. - [Stella] Mmm. 354 00:19:23,022 --> 00:19:24,606 He probably wants more money like everyone else. 355 00:19:24,690 --> 00:19:26,608 But he didn't... 356 00:19:28,444 --> 00:19:31,155 Oh, my God. 357 00:19:32,448 --> 00:19:35,034 - This is about the handjob. - Oh, you gave him a handjob? 358 00:19:35,117 --> 00:19:37,203 No, I may have promised... 359 00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:41,833 I may have intimated that there was a slight... possibility. 360 00:19:41,916 --> 00:19:45,086 I mean, if he proved his value to the organization. 361 00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:47,880 Another mystery solved. 362 00:19:47,964 --> 00:19:48,965 No. 363 00:19:49,048 --> 00:19:51,633 If this is what he's angling for, why didn't he just come out with it? 364 00:19:51,717 --> 00:19:53,219 No pun intended. 365 00:19:53,302 --> 00:19:55,012 He's a kid. He's barely through puberty. 366 00:19:55,096 --> 00:19:56,680 He's probably never even kissed a girl. 367 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:59,934 Oh, that is so sweet. Well, it shouldn't take long. 368 00:20:00,017 --> 00:20:02,644 Forty-five seconds and he'll be sneezing right in your hand. 369 00:20:02,728 --> 00:20:03,729 Oh! 370 00:20:04,730 --> 00:20:06,398 What does Vause think of it? 371 00:20:06,482 --> 00:20:09,026 Vause does not need to know about this, capisce? 372 00:20:09,110 --> 00:20:11,863 Suit yourself. I don't get involved. 373 00:20:11,946 --> 00:20:13,155 Mmm. 374 00:20:14,156 --> 00:20:15,741 I feel like a molester. 375 00:20:16,575 --> 00:20:18,577 Which is weird... 376 00:20:18,660 --> 00:20:21,288 because I am clearly also being exploited here. 377 00:20:21,372 --> 00:20:22,999 Hmm... 378 00:20:23,082 --> 00:20:25,835 sounds like you've got a dilemma. 379 00:20:25,918 --> 00:20:27,753 [indistinct chatter] 380 00:20:47,148 --> 00:20:49,025 Whoo! Man... 381 00:20:49,108 --> 00:20:52,736 this farm-to-table thing is for real, am I right? 382 00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:56,490 Man, we're gonna be flossin' for, like, a straight hour after this. 383 00:20:56,573 --> 00:20:59,701 Yo, what happened to your new weave? You were lookin' fresh. 384 00:20:59,785 --> 00:21:01,370 Nah, I wasn't feelin' it. 385 00:21:01,453 --> 00:21:03,539 Yeah, what she feeling is scared 386 00:21:03,622 --> 00:21:06,042 that Sophia gonna hulk out on her and shit. 387 00:21:06,125 --> 00:21:08,502 - [both grumbling] - [Taystee] Untrue. 388 00:21:08,585 --> 00:21:09,921 Yo, I don't blame you. 389 00:21:10,004 --> 00:21:12,131 Shit's getting ugly in the RuPaul Drag Race. 390 00:21:12,214 --> 00:21:14,425 Yo, Sophia ain't a drag queen, yo. 391 00:21:14,508 --> 00:21:16,010 She ain't walking around in a costume. 392 00:21:16,093 --> 00:21:17,970 I feel bad about it. 393 00:21:18,054 --> 00:21:20,932 - This is why I do my own hair. - Wait, that's hair? 394 00:21:21,015 --> 00:21:23,267 This whole time I thought you was wearin' Mickey Mouse ears! 395 00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:25,394 - [all laughing] - You... 396 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,611 [gasps] Oh, tell me what's happening here. 397 00:21:34,695 --> 00:21:37,739 Mmm, at the moment, we enjoying some corn. 398 00:21:37,823 --> 00:21:39,992 - [Janae] Mmm-hmm. - Corn that doesn't belong to you. 399 00:21:40,076 --> 00:21:42,954 Uh-huh, 'cause it came from the garden, you see what I'm sayin', 400 00:21:43,037 --> 00:21:45,664 which is on community prison property that we all share. 401 00:21:45,747 --> 00:21:48,375 So, really, it do belong to us. 402 00:21:48,459 --> 00:21:50,502 You lazy shakhtor thief! 403 00:21:50,586 --> 00:21:52,838 [Janae] Shit... [Red] You did nothing for this. 404 00:21:52,922 --> 00:21:55,674 Other people planted it, watered it, raked the weeds. 405 00:21:55,757 --> 00:21:57,343 Yeah, well, guess who else got experience 406 00:21:57,426 --> 00:22:00,429 growin' shit for other people to eat and gettin' none of it? 407 00:22:00,512 --> 00:22:02,098 - I know! - [Black Cindy] Watson? 408 00:22:02,181 --> 00:22:03,807 Is it our ancestors? 409 00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:06,018 - Ohhh, correct! - [Janae] Whoo-hoo! 410 00:22:06,102 --> 00:22:10,522 And now, we takin' back a little thing called... reparations. 411 00:22:10,606 --> 00:22:13,067 You sure you want to get into the ring with me? 412 00:22:13,150 --> 00:22:14,610 - Oh, okay! - [Janae] What if she do? 413 00:22:14,693 --> 00:22:16,737 [Taystee] All right, everybody jump back, jump back. 414 00:22:16,820 --> 00:22:18,364 You think I won't pound that spiky redhead? 415 00:22:18,447 --> 00:22:19,740 Yo, I said, jump back! 416 00:22:19,823 --> 00:22:21,325 What the fuck? 417 00:22:21,408 --> 00:22:23,577 Now, this is not how you handle your shit with Red. 418 00:22:23,660 --> 00:22:25,079 - Man, fuck her! - Okay? 419 00:22:25,162 --> 00:22:26,788 And you got to stop using slavery 420 00:22:26,872 --> 00:22:28,499 every time you wanna justify some foolishness! 421 00:22:28,582 --> 00:22:31,418 I'm just using it as a placeholder till I become Jewish 422 00:22:31,502 --> 00:22:32,711 and I can pin it on Hitler. 423 00:22:32,794 --> 00:22:34,255 Crazy, man. 424 00:22:34,338 --> 00:22:35,547 Listen up, all right? 425 00:22:35,631 --> 00:22:38,050 We are not getting into it with the white girls. 426 00:22:38,134 --> 00:22:39,510 We had enough of that with Vee! 427 00:22:39,593 --> 00:22:41,512 [Black Cindy sighs] [Taystee sighs] 428 00:22:44,806 --> 00:22:46,350 I apologize. 429 00:22:46,433 --> 00:22:49,478 You know what I can't do with an apology, Jefferson? 430 00:22:49,561 --> 00:22:52,689 I can't roast it with creamer and chili powder 431 00:22:52,773 --> 00:22:55,609 and serve it to the people who are coming to my dinner tomorrow night. 432 00:22:55,692 --> 00:22:56,985 What else you got? 433 00:22:57,069 --> 00:22:59,613 Parsley... and I got some onions, 434 00:22:59,696 --> 00:23:02,658 and I got a pantry full of Saltines. 435 00:23:02,741 --> 00:23:04,743 Okay, okay, um... 436 00:23:06,953 --> 00:23:11,750 But nobody will care... when you introduce your new sommelier. 437 00:23:11,833 --> 00:23:13,210 Ah! [speaking mock French] 438 00:23:13,294 --> 00:23:15,962 This is ridiculous. 439 00:23:16,047 --> 00:23:17,048 Man, it could be classy. 440 00:23:17,131 --> 00:23:18,715 Look, I know a hooch specialist 441 00:23:18,799 --> 00:23:21,760 who's got a little extra that she needs to unload. 442 00:23:21,843 --> 00:23:24,513 Wait, you clownin' on me, right? This her fault! 443 00:23:24,596 --> 00:23:27,808 I know, but she has fewer marketable skills, all right? 444 00:23:28,809 --> 00:23:30,436 I'm so sorry, Red. 445 00:23:30,519 --> 00:23:32,229 We just been eatin' crap for so long 446 00:23:32,313 --> 00:23:35,566 that when we ran into the corn, we just... 447 00:23:35,649 --> 00:23:36,942 lost our minds a little bit. 448 00:23:41,655 --> 00:23:45,117 She can wash dishes for me. You and Watson, too. 449 00:23:45,201 --> 00:23:47,369 I want the kitchen spotless tonight, 450 00:23:47,453 --> 00:23:49,913 - and I want you to do the clean-up after. - Fine. 451 00:23:49,996 --> 00:23:51,665 - Aw, man, that's some bullshit... - Shut up, Cindy. 452 00:23:51,748 --> 00:23:54,626 - And I'll take that hooch. - [Taystee] Good. 453 00:23:54,710 --> 00:23:56,920 And no one touches my garden again. 454 00:23:58,672 --> 00:24:00,091 Obviously. 455 00:24:03,260 --> 00:24:06,388 [Cal] Forty-two pairs of beautiful, sweaty panties, 456 00:24:06,472 --> 00:24:08,765 painstakingly crafted over days at a time, 457 00:24:08,849 --> 00:24:11,435 and they don't even make a dent in the orders. 458 00:24:11,518 --> 00:24:12,811 - [Neri sighs] - [machine whirring] 459 00:24:12,894 --> 00:24:16,315 I feel like we're standing in front of a Vegas buffet of money 460 00:24:16,398 --> 00:24:19,443 and we're only allowed to take, like, a plate of fries at a time. 461 00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:21,903 Maybe we can jack up the prices again? 462 00:24:21,987 --> 00:24:25,574 I mean, this is premium artisanal shit, right? 463 00:24:25,657 --> 00:24:29,786 The Spanish charge $400 for a ham and nobody blinks an eye. 464 00:24:29,870 --> 00:24:34,791 Well, that's because they feed those pigs only acorns or olives or whatever. 465 00:24:34,875 --> 00:24:37,002 Wait, this is genius. 466 00:24:37,085 --> 00:24:39,671 What if the panties were flavored? 467 00:24:39,755 --> 00:24:42,591 Like, this girl only ate strawberries for a week. 468 00:24:42,674 --> 00:24:46,595 Hmm, I think that might go against the whole authentic prison vibe. 469 00:24:46,678 --> 00:24:49,431 They're dirty, dirty felons, not Kobe beef. 470 00:24:49,515 --> 00:24:50,849 I know. Damn it. 471 00:24:52,058 --> 00:24:53,852 [Neri] Maybe we go the other way. 472 00:24:53,935 --> 00:24:56,855 Like, who makes more money, Bloomingdales or Walmart? 473 00:24:56,938 --> 00:24:59,691 We crank 'em out fast and cheap, flood the market. 474 00:24:59,775 --> 00:25:02,486 And where do we get these cheap and fast girls, 475 00:25:02,569 --> 00:25:05,572 other than every single friend of yours? No. 476 00:25:05,656 --> 00:25:07,741 We are not getting into bed with your friends, 477 00:25:07,824 --> 00:25:09,493 because they are horrible people, 478 00:25:09,576 --> 00:25:13,622 and they can't keep their traps shut for five goddamn minutes at a time. 479 00:25:13,705 --> 00:25:16,082 And they're not in prison... 480 00:25:16,167 --> 00:25:17,334 yet. 481 00:25:17,418 --> 00:25:18,460 - But... [whines] - No. 482 00:25:18,544 --> 00:25:20,921 This is Piper's very illegal business. 483 00:25:21,004 --> 00:25:23,632 We can't go bringing people into it willy-nilly. 484 00:25:23,715 --> 00:25:25,467 Well, what Piper doesn't know won't hurt her. 485 00:25:25,551 --> 00:25:27,010 Oh, my God, listen to yourself. 486 00:25:27,093 --> 00:25:29,596 Thug life is already making you cold. 487 00:25:31,765 --> 00:25:33,350 [machine whirring] 488 00:25:36,353 --> 00:25:38,314 [grunting] 489 00:25:38,397 --> 00:25:39,690 [breathing heavily] 490 00:25:39,773 --> 00:25:41,608 [Maritza] That was a rough one. 491 00:25:41,692 --> 00:25:45,987 Hey, you want me to do your hair or something? 492 00:25:46,071 --> 00:25:48,240 It's just all flat and sweaty. 493 00:25:48,324 --> 00:25:50,909 I'll make you look real pretty for the baby. 494 00:25:50,992 --> 00:25:53,119 - You're not helping, Ramos! - Sorry. 495 00:25:53,204 --> 00:25:55,121 Oh, fuck! 496 00:25:57,999 --> 00:25:59,418 How you doing? 497 00:26:02,128 --> 00:26:04,923 - Can I talk at least? - Fine. 498 00:26:12,556 --> 00:26:13,599 [whimpering] 499 00:26:13,682 --> 00:26:17,728 I know you feel like I only look out for myself, and maybe I do. 500 00:26:17,811 --> 00:26:19,521 That's how I know to do life. 501 00:26:20,481 --> 00:26:23,191 But I want you to know, this baby... 502 00:26:24,318 --> 00:26:25,736 it wasn't about the money. 503 00:26:25,819 --> 00:26:27,738 [groaning] 504 00:26:27,821 --> 00:26:30,532 Okay, it was about the money. 505 00:26:30,616 --> 00:26:32,784 But also, I... I was trying to help you. 506 00:26:33,619 --> 00:26:35,787 You know what would've helped? 507 00:26:37,038 --> 00:26:39,333 Some fucking support. 508 00:26:39,416 --> 00:26:43,254 Did you ask me how I feel, what I want, huh? 509 00:26:43,337 --> 00:26:46,298 How you feel is what ruins it. 510 00:26:46,382 --> 00:26:48,675 I loved you. 511 00:26:48,759 --> 00:26:50,344 I wanted you around me. 512 00:26:50,427 --> 00:26:54,055 And now here you are, doing the same stupid shit I did. 513 00:26:54,139 --> 00:26:55,849 [whimpering] 514 00:26:56,350 --> 00:26:57,809 [Aleida] I tried, you know? 515 00:26:58,977 --> 00:27:01,313 But it was for nothing. 516 00:27:01,397 --> 00:27:03,274 You turned out just like me. 517 00:27:04,858 --> 00:27:07,778 I made kids, and then I fucked them up. 518 00:27:12,533 --> 00:27:13,950 I'm a terrible mother. 519 00:27:16,662 --> 00:27:20,666 And I never want you to feel how I feel. 520 00:27:26,630 --> 00:27:27,923 I don't believe you. 521 00:27:28,924 --> 00:27:33,053 This kid was never... was never nothing but a paycheck to you. 522 00:27:34,638 --> 00:27:39,142 I swallowed your bullshit for the last fucking time. 523 00:27:39,225 --> 00:27:41,562 [groaning] My hips are coming apart. 524 00:27:45,357 --> 00:27:49,110 Think about floating in the ocean. [exhaling] 525 00:27:49,194 --> 00:27:50,446 Fuck off, Maritza! 526 00:27:50,529 --> 00:27:51,822 Fuck! 527 00:27:51,905 --> 00:27:53,365 What? 528 00:27:55,451 --> 00:27:58,119 What? Is this normal? 529 00:27:58,203 --> 00:27:59,330 That does not seem normal. 530 00:28:00,331 --> 00:28:01,832 Somebody help! She's bleeding! 531 00:28:01,915 --> 00:28:03,584 [Dayanara groaning] 532 00:28:07,421 --> 00:28:08,964 Fuck. Call an ambulance! 533 00:28:09,047 --> 00:28:11,425 - [Gloria] Okay, come on, mija. - Thank you, Gloria. 534 00:28:13,427 --> 00:28:14,845 Gloria's coming with me, right? 535 00:28:21,142 --> 00:28:23,019 [kids chattering] 536 00:28:29,735 --> 00:28:32,529 Dayanara, Mommy's here. 537 00:28:33,530 --> 00:28:34,573 Just a minute! 538 00:28:34,656 --> 00:28:37,368 I said, Mommy's here. Ain't you glad to see me? 539 00:28:39,661 --> 00:28:42,456 - Bye. - [girls] Bye. 540 00:28:45,917 --> 00:28:48,044 [straining] 541 00:28:48,128 --> 00:28:49,796 Come on, let's go get your stuff. 542 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:50,881 Who did your hair? 543 00:28:50,964 --> 00:28:53,008 Stacy. She did it just like hers! 544 00:28:53,091 --> 00:28:54,259 Oh. 545 00:28:55,594 --> 00:28:56,720 Did you have a good time? 546 00:28:56,803 --> 00:28:58,304 It's so fun! 547 00:28:58,389 --> 00:29:00,974 I made three best friends and six regular friends, 548 00:29:01,057 --> 00:29:02,893 and I learned how to swim like a frog! 549 00:29:02,976 --> 00:29:04,310 That's great, baby. 550 00:29:04,395 --> 00:29:08,982 And Jordache says that I can sleep over at her house whenever I want! 551 00:29:09,065 --> 00:29:12,277 Jordache? Someone named their kid after pants? 552 00:29:12,361 --> 00:29:14,571 Come on, I have to show you arts and crafts. 553 00:29:14,655 --> 00:29:16,407 Okay, okay. 554 00:29:16,490 --> 00:29:18,409 Stacy, my mom came! 555 00:29:18,492 --> 00:29:21,244 - Hey, Mrs. Diaz! - It's "Ms." 556 00:29:21,327 --> 00:29:23,121 Oh, sure. 557 00:29:23,204 --> 00:29:26,332 Well, I have to tell you, Daya's had an amazing month. 558 00:29:26,417 --> 00:29:30,253 At first, she was pretty shy, but then she just blossomed. 559 00:29:30,336 --> 00:29:33,382 - Can I come back next year? - We can talk about it. 560 00:29:33,465 --> 00:29:36,885 Oh, and check out some of her artwork. 561 00:29:36,968 --> 00:29:38,554 Tell your mom what you're thinking about 562 00:29:38,637 --> 00:29:41,848 for your career goal for when you're a grown-up? 563 00:29:41,932 --> 00:29:44,100 Mommy, I wanna be an artist. 564 00:29:44,184 --> 00:29:47,479 That and a token will get you on the subway. 565 00:29:49,898 --> 00:29:52,317 That's really great, baby. Really great. 566 00:29:52,401 --> 00:29:53,735 We gotta go now. 567 00:29:53,819 --> 00:29:54,861 Jazmina needs her car back 568 00:29:54,945 --> 00:29:56,572 so she could sell the radios out of the trunk. 569 00:29:57,698 --> 00:30:00,241 - I'm gonna miss you. - I'm gonna miss you, too. 570 00:30:08,709 --> 00:30:10,335 [groaning] 571 00:30:58,091 --> 00:31:00,469 [indistinct walkie chatter] 572 00:31:01,553 --> 00:31:02,638 [whispers] You're not supposed to be in here. 573 00:31:02,721 --> 00:31:05,891 We're not supposed to do a lot of things, but... 574 00:31:05,974 --> 00:31:08,018 business is business, right? 575 00:31:08,101 --> 00:31:10,270 Is this about earlier? 576 00:31:10,353 --> 00:31:13,649 Look, this may be weird for you. 577 00:31:15,191 --> 00:31:16,902 I get it. 578 00:31:16,985 --> 00:31:20,196 But when I make a vaguely-worded, insinuated promise... 579 00:31:21,364 --> 00:31:23,700 I do my best to keep it. 580 00:31:23,784 --> 00:31:27,328 Especially if I... basically have no other choice. 581 00:31:27,412 --> 00:31:29,956 No, no, no, no, no. I... I don't want anything from you. 582 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,000 The whole thing has just been stressing me out, okay? 583 00:31:32,083 --> 00:31:34,169 I don't like breaking the rules. I get sweaty all the time. 584 00:31:34,252 --> 00:31:37,213 I had to take a beta blocker. It's not worth it for me. 585 00:31:37,297 --> 00:31:40,050 - Oh... - Chapman, don't. 586 00:31:40,967 --> 00:31:42,761 No way this kid gets a handjob off you. 587 00:31:42,844 --> 00:31:44,179 [Piper] Right, well, actually it turns out... 588 00:31:44,262 --> 00:31:47,223 Listen, you quivering, Michael Cera-looking sack of squid bits. 589 00:31:47,307 --> 00:31:49,893 You think an opportunity like this comes along every day? 590 00:31:49,976 --> 00:31:51,728 What? No, no. I don't care about the money. 591 00:31:51,812 --> 00:31:53,814 Fuck no, you don't care about the money. 592 00:31:53,897 --> 00:31:55,857 What you care about is that you're illegally smuggling 593 00:31:55,941 --> 00:31:57,943 women's panties out of a women's prison. 594 00:31:58,026 --> 00:32:02,322 A story that is gonna get you free beer at any bar you choose 595 00:32:02,405 --> 00:32:05,826 for the rest of your pathetic anti-climax of a life. 596 00:32:05,909 --> 00:32:10,121 This caper is the most interesting goddamn thing that's ever happened to you. 597 00:32:11,081 --> 00:32:12,290 [sighs] 598 00:32:13,959 --> 00:32:15,043 Okay. 599 00:32:15,126 --> 00:32:16,837 Okay, good. 600 00:32:18,504 --> 00:32:20,215 - Come on. - Hey, wait... 601 00:32:20,298 --> 00:32:22,383 I was gonna get a handjob out of this? 602 00:32:41,987 --> 00:32:44,781 Think you can slide in a few good words for me? 603 00:32:44,865 --> 00:32:47,158 In between the widows and orphans or whatever. 604 00:32:47,242 --> 00:32:51,287 Nothing like dark days to bring a person running back to the church. 605 00:32:51,371 --> 00:32:55,458 [sighs] I was never in the church. 606 00:32:55,541 --> 00:32:59,004 Well, you sure were interested when you were having problems, then... 607 00:32:59,087 --> 00:33:02,883 things got better and... poof. 608 00:33:02,966 --> 00:33:08,013 No offense... but I was jumped in my salon yesterday. 609 00:33:08,096 --> 00:33:10,807 I don't have a lot left over for your hurt feelings. 610 00:33:10,891 --> 00:33:12,726 I was minding my own business. 611 00:33:12,809 --> 00:33:16,437 [sighs] I'm here... 612 00:33:16,521 --> 00:33:19,858 because I realized you might be my only friend. 613 00:33:21,943 --> 00:33:26,197 [sighs deeply] I'm sorry, Sophia. 614 00:33:26,782 --> 00:33:29,701 Everybody acts cool most of the time, you know? 615 00:33:30,827 --> 00:33:33,747 "Oh, Sophia, hit me with the gossip." 616 00:33:33,830 --> 00:33:35,498 "What do you think about bangs, Sophia?" 617 00:33:35,581 --> 00:33:39,169 You start to feel like one of the girls. 618 00:33:39,252 --> 00:33:44,382 But then something turns... and you realize... 619 00:33:44,465 --> 00:33:48,762 you're still a freak and you'll never be one of them. 620 00:33:48,845 --> 00:33:52,683 Jesus said, "But I say to you, love your enemies and... 621 00:33:52,766 --> 00:33:54,184 [inhales deeply] 622 00:33:54,267 --> 00:33:56,561 Pray for those who persecute you." 623 00:33:56,645 --> 00:34:00,481 Nothin' about disemboweling your enemies with a hot curling iron? 624 00:34:00,565 --> 00:34:02,776 [chuckles] You'd think, right? 625 00:34:04,152 --> 00:34:07,906 Especially since he had it pretty rough there at the end. 626 00:34:07,989 --> 00:34:09,490 But he went quietly. 627 00:34:09,574 --> 00:34:13,829 He should've kicked a few nutsacks inside out while he had the chance. 628 00:34:13,912 --> 00:34:15,872 [chuckling] Oh, I don't know. 629 00:34:17,749 --> 00:34:19,042 [sighs] 630 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,087 Assuming you're beat, at least for the moment, 631 00:34:22,170 --> 00:34:25,465 I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of watching you unravel. 632 00:34:27,133 --> 00:34:30,095 Also, as a former protest junkie... 633 00:34:31,554 --> 00:34:34,515 when you go ape-shit, it gives them a reason to fight you. 634 00:34:34,599 --> 00:34:38,519 I like to get real quiet and look them in the face, like... 635 00:34:39,855 --> 00:34:41,857 "I'll remember you later." 636 00:34:43,149 --> 00:34:45,736 Freaks them out. They go bonkers. 637 00:34:46,695 --> 00:34:48,029 That's all you got? 638 00:34:48,113 --> 00:34:50,240 [sighs] 639 00:35:02,878 --> 00:35:06,464 So now she's accusing us of skimping on training for the new guards, 640 00:35:06,547 --> 00:35:09,550 which, let's be honest, isn't exactly untrue. 641 00:35:09,634 --> 00:35:12,095 [scoffing] You're saying she's threatening us? 642 00:35:12,178 --> 00:35:13,388 What do you want me to do, Dad? 643 00:35:14,472 --> 00:35:16,099 What we did in Arizona. 644 00:35:16,182 --> 00:35:19,352 Some time alone. Let her clear her head. 645 00:35:20,020 --> 00:35:21,354 She hasn't done anything wrong. 646 00:35:21,437 --> 00:35:25,066 Well, of course not, but we can't weed out all the bullies. 647 00:35:26,735 --> 00:35:28,278 It's for her own protection. 648 00:35:30,405 --> 00:35:31,614 What about when she gets out? 649 00:35:31,697 --> 00:35:34,826 I mean, what do you think happens then? Think about the long term. 650 00:35:34,910 --> 00:35:37,203 Nobody cares about the long term, Danny. 651 00:35:38,538 --> 00:35:40,957 Look, a year from now, 652 00:35:41,041 --> 00:35:45,045 Huey Strath will be CEO of CCA 653 00:35:45,128 --> 00:35:48,214 or fucking Best Western or some other company. 654 00:35:48,298 --> 00:35:52,385 All the top guys get traded around like baseball cards, you know that. 655 00:35:52,468 --> 00:35:56,139 The important thing is that we nail this quarter and the next one 656 00:35:56,222 --> 00:35:58,516 and let everyone collect their bonuses. 657 00:35:59,810 --> 00:36:02,687 I'm so grossed out right now. 658 00:36:02,771 --> 00:36:04,314 This isn't who we are. 659 00:36:04,397 --> 00:36:07,733 Spare me the speech, please. 660 00:36:11,737 --> 00:36:15,575 We do what we do or someone else does. It's not personal. 661 00:36:15,658 --> 00:36:17,285 Is that what Mom would say? 662 00:36:18,494 --> 00:36:20,956 What do you think of this one, Ma? 663 00:36:25,168 --> 00:36:26,211 [Jack] Shit. 664 00:36:30,465 --> 00:36:32,508 - Fine. - Really? 665 00:36:32,592 --> 00:36:34,510 Go back to Utica. 666 00:36:36,221 --> 00:36:39,933 We'll meet tomorrow, talk to the board... go over our options. 667 00:36:40,016 --> 00:36:41,434 Thank you. 668 00:36:41,517 --> 00:36:42,978 Thanks, Dad. 669 00:36:49,025 --> 00:36:50,443 [Red] Ha! 670 00:36:50,526 --> 00:36:54,072 Guess the floors are mopping themselves now, huh? 671 00:36:54,155 --> 00:36:55,907 Red, check this. 672 00:36:57,658 --> 00:37:00,120 You got a fairy godmother we don't know about? [scoffs] 673 00:37:00,203 --> 00:37:01,746 Abracadabra. 674 00:37:19,472 --> 00:37:21,850 [Caputo] I sent the cards off yesterday, priority. 675 00:37:21,933 --> 00:37:22,934 And once they get them, 676 00:37:23,018 --> 00:37:26,187 they'll send a rep down and we'll elect our union leaders. 677 00:37:26,271 --> 00:37:27,981 [O'Neill] I feel like the leaders are pretty obvious. 678 00:37:28,899 --> 00:37:30,775 Do you? 679 00:37:30,859 --> 00:37:32,693 Yeah, people who've been there since the beginning, you know? 680 00:37:32,777 --> 00:37:33,778 People who started the whole thing. 681 00:37:33,862 --> 00:37:37,823 The ones who made the reservation at the bar for the first meeting. 682 00:37:37,908 --> 00:37:40,743 Red-blooded, hard-working, solid people. 683 00:37:41,702 --> 00:37:44,330 I don't know, O'Neill. 684 00:37:44,414 --> 00:37:46,457 Look, I'm obviously one of the leaders. 685 00:37:46,541 --> 00:37:49,210 It means we got the white guy demographic covered. 686 00:37:49,294 --> 00:37:52,005 We gotta be sure to include a spectrum. 687 00:37:52,088 --> 00:37:54,090 A spectrum. So, you're talking about Maxwell? 688 00:37:54,174 --> 00:37:57,260 Sir, she's got the leadership qualities of a goddamn dish sponge. 689 00:37:57,343 --> 00:37:58,428 Or Ford. 690 00:37:58,511 --> 00:38:00,721 Do not be taken in by the fact that he's a total hunk, sir. 691 00:38:00,805 --> 00:38:04,434 Ford knits in his spare time, like a grandma. 692 00:38:04,517 --> 00:38:07,520 That's not relevant. The relevant thing is that he's black! 693 00:38:08,604 --> 00:38:12,150 Black people get everything. I gotta piss. 694 00:38:13,944 --> 00:38:15,445 Now? 695 00:38:15,528 --> 00:38:17,948 We just passed the piss rock. 696 00:38:18,031 --> 00:38:20,533 It's where we pee when we gotta pee when we're walking the perimeter. 697 00:38:20,616 --> 00:38:23,494 It's like... a Pavlovian thing now. 698 00:38:25,371 --> 00:38:27,040 I wouldn't have thought Ford was your type. 699 00:38:27,123 --> 00:38:28,291 He's not my type. 700 00:38:28,374 --> 00:38:31,336 He's just a beautiful man. It's empirical. 701 00:38:32,503 --> 00:38:34,380 Holy... 702 00:38:34,464 --> 00:38:37,633 - O'Neill, get over here. - I'm indisposed. 703 00:38:37,717 --> 00:38:41,930 There's a fucking... chicken over here. 704 00:38:42,013 --> 00:38:43,598 [O'Neill] The chicken is a myth. Nice try, sir. 705 00:38:43,681 --> 00:38:45,350 I'm serious. It's real! 706 00:38:45,433 --> 00:38:46,726 It's got a beak and feathers! 707 00:38:46,809 --> 00:38:48,728 It's pecking, it's pecking in the grass, it... 708 00:38:48,811 --> 00:38:50,939 Okay, show me. 709 00:38:56,027 --> 00:38:57,070 Went in the bushes. 710 00:38:57,153 --> 00:38:59,155 We know you've been under a lot of stress recently, 711 00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:01,449 - but the chicken is not a real thing... - Shut up, O'Neill. 712 00:39:01,532 --> 00:39:03,368 [sighs] 713 00:39:06,704 --> 00:39:08,706 Look at this. 714 00:39:15,630 --> 00:39:18,174 I feel like we're in Narnia. 715 00:39:27,725 --> 00:39:28,726 [clears throat] 716 00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:31,896 [phone ringing] 717 00:39:34,690 --> 00:39:35,858 Hello? 718 00:39:38,819 --> 00:39:40,696 Yes, yes, yes, I accept. 719 00:39:40,780 --> 00:39:44,784 Dayanara? It's funny, I was... I was just putting diapers away. 720 00:39:44,867 --> 00:39:47,328 - Are you okay? - It's her mother. 721 00:39:47,412 --> 00:39:48,621 Oh. 722 00:39:48,704 --> 00:39:51,249 Mrs. Diaz, how's she doing? 723 00:39:52,250 --> 00:39:53,793 Not so good. 724 00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:56,837 The baby came this morning. 725 00:39:56,921 --> 00:40:00,175 He had the cord wrapped around his neck. 726 00:40:02,677 --> 00:40:04,679 So, so, it's a boy? 727 00:40:04,762 --> 00:40:06,306 Yeah. 728 00:40:10,601 --> 00:40:11,852 He died. 729 00:40:13,854 --> 00:40:15,148 Oh, my God. 730 00:40:16,941 --> 00:40:20,320 I wanted to tell you, one grandma to another. 731 00:40:25,075 --> 00:40:27,243 Who was her doctor? 732 00:40:27,327 --> 00:40:31,497 I don't know anything about... prison medical standards, but... 733 00:40:31,581 --> 00:40:33,583 It wasn't anyone's fault. 734 00:40:33,666 --> 00:40:35,626 It was just one of those things, you know? 735 00:40:35,710 --> 00:40:38,421 Can I see her? 736 00:40:38,504 --> 00:40:39,630 Sure, sure. 737 00:40:40,923 --> 00:40:44,594 But not right away. It's gonna take her a while. 738 00:40:44,677 --> 00:40:46,846 Sure, I understand. 739 00:40:48,931 --> 00:40:50,850 I'll write to her. 740 00:40:52,268 --> 00:40:53,603 Christ. 741 00:40:54,937 --> 00:40:57,565 I'm so sorry. 742 00:40:58,816 --> 00:41:01,652 I'm... I'm so sorry, too. 743 00:41:18,544 --> 00:41:19,920 It smells funny in here. 744 00:41:20,004 --> 00:41:21,631 Put your suitcase away. 745 00:41:43,944 --> 00:41:45,321 That's my art. 746 00:41:45,405 --> 00:41:47,323 There's a lot. 747 00:41:47,407 --> 00:41:49,367 We have enough clutter around here. 748 00:41:49,450 --> 00:41:50,785 But I made it. 749 00:41:50,868 --> 00:41:52,995 Only 'cause they told you to. 750 00:41:53,078 --> 00:41:55,831 But now you can make new stuff, your own stuff. 751 00:42:00,961 --> 00:42:03,381 I missed you so much. 752 00:42:04,674 --> 00:42:07,427 - Did you miss me? - Yes. 753 00:42:07,510 --> 00:42:10,430 Maybe that camp was a mistake, huh? 754 00:42:10,513 --> 00:42:14,475 Maybe it was too hard for you to be without your mommy for so long. 755 00:42:16,977 --> 00:42:18,979 It was kind of boring anyway. 756 00:42:19,063 --> 00:42:21,316 I knew you'd be bored. 757 00:42:21,399 --> 00:42:23,734 You love your Judge Judy, don't you? 758 00:42:23,818 --> 00:42:26,696 And we had to sing those dumb songs before dinner. 759 00:42:29,031 --> 00:42:31,284 You liked Stacy, though. 760 00:42:32,993 --> 00:42:36,872 Whatever, she had this stupid crush on one of the boy counselors. 761 00:42:36,956 --> 00:42:39,250 It was kind of desperate. 762 00:42:39,334 --> 00:42:42,212 Bitches be like that. Don't matter where they're from. 763 00:42:42,295 --> 00:42:44,547 Yeah, bitches. 764 00:42:52,763 --> 00:42:56,016 So, you really wanna be an artist? 765 00:42:57,101 --> 00:43:00,188 Nah, I wanna be a mom. 766 00:43:00,271 --> 00:43:02,106 [baby cooing] 767 00:43:03,774 --> 00:43:06,068 Here you go, there, little pretty girl. 768 00:43:07,278 --> 00:43:09,572 - Do you wanna see her? - Yeah. 769 00:43:09,655 --> 00:43:12,408 Here you go. Here. 770 00:43:16,454 --> 00:43:19,290 Baby. Hi, little baby. 771 00:43:19,374 --> 00:43:20,833 [shushing] 772 00:43:28,799 --> 00:43:31,427 I love you. You know that? 773 00:43:31,511 --> 00:43:34,096 I love you. 774 00:43:35,348 --> 00:43:38,809 My job is so weird. 775 00:44:00,831 --> 00:44:02,375 [inhales deeply] 776 00:44:03,793 --> 00:44:05,085 [exhales] 777 00:44:08,673 --> 00:44:12,260 It's like you're Madame Curie, but stupid. 778 00:44:12,343 --> 00:44:14,387 It's a chemical composition. 779 00:44:14,470 --> 00:44:16,431 We crack it, we can churn out more product. 780 00:44:16,514 --> 00:44:20,351 Without involving anyone else. We add to Piper's profit margin! 781 00:44:20,435 --> 00:44:21,977 It's not ethical. 782 00:44:22,061 --> 00:44:24,063 We're selling crusty jail panties to perverts. 783 00:44:24,146 --> 00:44:25,940 Yeah, but we have our integrity. 784 00:44:26,023 --> 00:44:28,484 We gotta get out of Carol's house, dude. 785 00:44:28,568 --> 00:44:29,944 My soul is dying. 786 00:44:30,027 --> 00:44:31,654 Oh, come on, it's not so bad. 787 00:44:31,737 --> 00:44:33,823 Cal, the doilies! 788 00:44:33,906 --> 00:44:35,991 Touché. 789 00:44:36,075 --> 00:44:37,702 - [sighs] - Look, this is never gonna work. 790 00:44:37,785 --> 00:44:41,872 The tuna thing is a dead giveaway. Give me this. 791 00:44:41,956 --> 00:44:43,749 Yeah, it's just all fish. There's no nuance. 792 00:44:43,833 --> 00:44:45,250 Well, sure. 793 00:44:45,335 --> 00:44:47,753 You should know. [chuckles] I mean... 794 00:44:47,837 --> 00:44:51,215 you do know what a vagina smells like. 795 00:44:53,426 --> 00:44:55,511 Right, sweetie? 796 00:44:57,805 --> 00:45:01,141 Obviously, I do. 797 00:45:01,225 --> 00:45:03,143 Obviously. 798 00:45:03,227 --> 00:45:05,813 Oh, my God. 799 00:45:05,896 --> 00:45:08,358 Please don't think less of me. 800 00:45:08,441 --> 00:45:11,777 You went to Vassar! You lived in campus housing! 801 00:45:11,861 --> 00:45:14,697 It was dark times. Our nation was at war! 802 00:45:14,780 --> 00:45:16,824 Whoa, okay, I never thought I would say this... 803 00:45:18,033 --> 00:45:19,827 but this is not Dick Cheney's fault. 804 00:45:19,910 --> 00:45:23,789 So, are none of your stories true? [stutters] The repressed Pakistani girl? 805 00:45:23,873 --> 00:45:25,833 The three-way with Georgia Pellegrini? 806 00:45:25,916 --> 00:45:28,085 I wanted you to think I was cool. 807 00:45:28,168 --> 00:45:29,754 [whimpers] 808 00:45:37,261 --> 00:45:38,763 [sighs] Okay. 809 00:45:39,722 --> 00:45:43,893 First... we gotta get some miso. 810 00:45:45,936 --> 00:45:51,567 To lay down a nice umami base note. Then we can go from there. 811 00:45:55,405 --> 00:45:56,406 [squeals] 812 00:45:56,489 --> 00:45:58,449 - I'm heartbroken. - I know. I'm sorry. 813 00:45:58,533 --> 00:46:00,993 I loved that Georgia Pellegrini three-way story. 814 00:46:01,076 --> 00:46:02,453 I'm sorry. 815 00:46:02,537 --> 00:46:04,622 [classical music playing on radio] 816 00:46:06,874 --> 00:46:10,586 - I hope everyone has enjoyed the soup. - [all moan] 817 00:46:10,670 --> 00:46:12,672 [Anita] Bravo! [Lorna] Oh, my God, yes. 818 00:46:12,755 --> 00:46:14,089 Thank you. 819 00:46:14,173 --> 00:46:17,593 Now, this, uh, might sound a little corny, but... 820 00:46:17,677 --> 00:46:19,053 ears to you. 821 00:46:19,136 --> 00:46:20,179 [all] Aw... [Lorna] Huh? 822 00:46:20,262 --> 00:46:22,014 - [all laughing] - [inmate] Yeah, bravo! 823 00:46:22,097 --> 00:46:24,308 One more pun, and it goes away. 824 00:46:24,391 --> 00:46:26,185 It's truly amazing, Red. 825 00:46:26,268 --> 00:46:27,562 Thank you. 826 00:46:27,645 --> 00:46:28,646 [Anita] Whoo! 827 00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:32,483 I kind of want to take off all my clothes. 828 00:46:32,567 --> 00:46:33,693 [Anita laughing] 829 00:46:34,527 --> 00:46:35,528 Yippee! 830 00:46:43,703 --> 00:46:46,622 I heard you called it off with Chapman. 831 00:46:46,706 --> 00:46:50,125 Yeah, I don't know what it means. [chuckles] 832 00:46:50,209 --> 00:46:52,127 You ever have a thing with someone that... 833 00:46:52,211 --> 00:46:54,714 never seems to really be over, even when it is? 834 00:46:54,797 --> 00:46:58,676 Rumi says, "Lovers never meet. 835 00:46:58,759 --> 00:47:02,012 They're in each other all along." 836 00:47:03,556 --> 00:47:07,267 Yeah, it's kind of like that, only with drugs and backstabbing. 837 00:47:09,895 --> 00:47:11,897 Oh, garçon! 838 00:47:11,981 --> 00:47:13,398 [all laughing] 839 00:47:13,483 --> 00:47:19,154 Corn and leek quiche with a fried sage garnish. 840 00:47:20,364 --> 00:47:22,074 I love everybody. 841 00:47:22,157 --> 00:47:23,659 [all laughing] 842 00:47:23,743 --> 00:47:24,744 Oh. 843 00:47:28,122 --> 00:47:29,331 [Red] Eat up, Chang. 844 00:47:32,543 --> 00:47:34,837 - This is so good! - [Anita] Salud! 845 00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:36,463 Mmm! 846 00:48:01,113 --> 00:48:02,948 [chuckles] 847 00:48:04,324 --> 00:48:06,577 [indistinct chatter] 848 00:48:17,046 --> 00:48:18,130 Keep walking. 849 00:48:19,423 --> 00:48:20,716 [sighs] 850 00:48:21,592 --> 00:48:23,636 [Black Cindy] You so gangsta. 851 00:48:25,054 --> 00:48:26,513 [sighs sharply] 852 00:48:29,099 --> 00:48:30,142 Man. 853 00:48:30,225 --> 00:48:32,394 What are you gettin' all blinky about now? 854 00:48:32,477 --> 00:48:35,189 It's Chapter Nine of the Time Hump saga. 855 00:48:35,272 --> 00:48:36,481 I thought you quit that rag. 856 00:48:36,566 --> 00:48:38,525 That's the thing. I didn't write it. 857 00:48:38,609 --> 00:48:40,820 I found it in the bathroom. 858 00:48:40,903 --> 00:48:43,447 They go through a wormhole and when they come out, 859 00:48:43,530 --> 00:48:46,617 they meet sexy vampires. 860 00:48:46,701 --> 00:48:49,745 Vampires are derivative. 861 00:48:49,829 --> 00:48:52,372 Look, if bitches is copying you, 862 00:48:52,456 --> 00:48:54,416 it's because they like what you did. 863 00:48:54,499 --> 00:48:57,377 They didn't want it to end, so they made it their own shit. 864 00:48:57,461 --> 00:48:59,254 It's called fan fiction. 865 00:49:00,130 --> 00:49:02,174 Kind of like the New Testament, am I right? 866 00:49:02,257 --> 00:49:06,345 You don't wanna go be throwin' shade at other folks' religion. 867 00:49:06,428 --> 00:49:09,181 They get bacon and Christmas, I think they can handle it. 868 00:49:09,264 --> 00:49:10,850 I'm offended. 869 00:49:10,933 --> 00:49:12,852 [scoffs] What is this? 1936? 870 00:49:12,935 --> 00:49:15,730 Don't make me come back there, Cindy, I swear to God! 871 00:49:15,813 --> 00:49:19,149 - Fan fiction is cheapening my legacy! - Just breathe. 872 00:49:19,233 --> 00:49:21,861 Yo, Jefferson. 873 00:49:21,944 --> 00:49:24,864 This is the third day this week I caught your girl Watson 874 00:49:24,947 --> 00:49:28,367 washing her sweaty socks out in the bathroom sink. 875 00:49:28,450 --> 00:49:30,119 It ain't fucking civilized. 876 00:49:30,202 --> 00:49:34,498 Why are you telling me about it? Work it out with her. 877 00:49:34,581 --> 00:49:36,959 You think I haven't tried? 878 00:49:37,042 --> 00:49:40,921 [scoffs] It's not the being told to fuck myself I mind so much... 879 00:49:41,005 --> 00:49:44,091 it's more the poking. 880 00:49:44,174 --> 00:49:49,596 And I'd like to avoid fighting her, because I'm not sure I'd win. 881 00:49:50,514 --> 00:49:52,767 But I'm not sure I'd lose, either. 882 00:49:52,850 --> 00:49:55,853 I still don't see how this is my problem. 883 00:50:00,733 --> 00:50:02,234 Hold up... 884 00:50:03,610 --> 00:50:05,112 am I the mom? 885 00:50:06,446 --> 00:50:09,033 Oh, my God. 886 00:50:10,450 --> 00:50:11,911 I'm the mom? 887 00:50:13,663 --> 00:50:16,415 My moms moved to Tucson with her boyfriend, 888 00:50:16,498 --> 00:50:20,127 so I got my cousin Jazmina to go to the hospital. 889 00:50:20,210 --> 00:50:22,421 She's next of kin. 890 00:50:22,504 --> 00:50:25,132 She can hand the baby over to Cesar. 891 00:50:25,215 --> 00:50:27,342 Dayanara's gonna kill you. 892 00:50:28,678 --> 00:50:31,096 I talked her into the whole thing, right? 893 00:50:31,180 --> 00:50:33,598 At least now I got nothing on my conscious. 894 00:50:36,643 --> 00:50:38,688 You really think that man can handle another one? 895 00:50:38,771 --> 00:50:41,440 It's like the Muppet Babies up in his house. 896 00:50:41,523 --> 00:50:45,444 He'll just slide another girl on his dick, make her help out. 897 00:50:45,527 --> 00:50:48,280 - What, like he ain't fuckin' other people? - [Gloria laughs] 898 00:50:48,363 --> 00:50:51,200 We all know what happens out there. He gotta do what he gotta do. 899 00:50:52,284 --> 00:50:56,205 Man, you ever feel like, you know, maybe one time in my life, 900 00:50:56,288 --> 00:50:59,875 the shit I gotta do could be the shit that makes me happy? 901 00:51:01,085 --> 00:51:04,129 No, 'cause I ain't a greedy fuck like you. 902 00:51:06,423 --> 00:51:08,508 [laughs] 903 00:51:09,634 --> 00:51:11,095 I'll tell you what, though. 904 00:51:12,179 --> 00:51:13,723 I'm an abuela now. 905 00:51:13,806 --> 00:51:15,099 Mmm. 906 00:51:15,182 --> 00:51:17,642 At least now, I got a chance to do somethin' right. 907 00:51:17,727 --> 00:51:18,769 [chuckles] 908 00:51:18,853 --> 00:51:21,772 Or maybe do it a little less shitty. 909 00:51:24,399 --> 00:51:25,484 [Gloria laughs] 910 00:51:29,654 --> 00:51:31,115 [groaning] 911 00:51:54,554 --> 00:51:58,392 [Big Boo] Oh, God, he's a heavy fucker. Easy. 912 00:51:58,475 --> 00:52:00,060 - Come on. - [both grunting] 913 00:52:02,980 --> 00:52:04,398 [panting] 914 00:52:26,921 --> 00:52:28,839 Okay, go ahead. 915 00:52:28,923 --> 00:52:30,715 No, no, no, after you. 916 00:52:32,176 --> 00:52:33,886 Please... go. 917 00:52:33,969 --> 00:52:35,179 Get in there. 918 00:52:37,181 --> 00:52:40,225 This was your big Swedish idea. 919 00:52:40,309 --> 00:52:42,144 But you're the victim. 920 00:52:42,227 --> 00:52:43,437 [Pennsatucky sighs] 921 00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:47,024 Look, you get the ball rolling, okay? It's not like I've ever done this before. 922 00:52:47,107 --> 00:52:48,650 And I have? 923 00:52:48,733 --> 00:52:50,777 Well, it definitely seemed like you had. 924 00:52:50,861 --> 00:52:53,864 You know, I've done some deeply questionable shit in my life, 925 00:52:53,948 --> 00:52:57,117 but the foreign-object-ass-rape of an unconscious man? 926 00:52:57,201 --> 00:52:58,994 Still not crossed off my list. 927 00:52:59,078 --> 00:53:03,874 Boo, this is fucking creepy, and you know it, right? 928 00:53:03,958 --> 00:53:05,960 Yeah, of course, but... 929 00:53:06,043 --> 00:53:07,711 [sighs] 930 00:53:07,794 --> 00:53:09,839 Yeah, but I thought you'd wanna do it. 931 00:53:10,965 --> 00:53:12,466 This is my gift to you. 932 00:53:12,549 --> 00:53:15,719 It'll help you to work out that rage and that anger. 933 00:53:15,802 --> 00:53:17,637 You know, hmm? 934 00:53:17,721 --> 00:53:18,931 [sighs] 935 00:53:20,474 --> 00:53:23,018 I don't have rage. [laughs meekly] 936 00:53:27,397 --> 00:53:29,233 I'm just sad. 937 00:53:35,197 --> 00:53:36,949 [movie playing] 938 00:54:11,483 --> 00:54:14,403 You know... the thing is... 939 00:54:16,155 --> 00:54:19,699 I don't think I'm very good at being on my own. 940 00:54:22,077 --> 00:54:23,703 Neither am I. 941 00:54:24,914 --> 00:54:27,624 I really like you. 942 00:54:30,794 --> 00:54:33,047 I was thinking maybe we could be... 943 00:54:34,631 --> 00:54:35,799 partners. 944 00:54:38,302 --> 00:54:42,472 You know, like, in the business. Like business partners. 945 00:54:46,977 --> 00:54:48,562 Oh, my God, you don't even... 946 00:54:48,645 --> 00:54:51,065 You don't even... I shouldn't have said anything. 947 00:54:51,148 --> 00:54:53,525 No, it's not that. 948 00:54:53,608 --> 00:54:55,485 I'm getting out, Piper... 949 00:54:56,486 --> 00:54:58,113 on Tuesday. 950 00:55:02,326 --> 00:55:05,329 You're getting... You're... Oh! 951 00:55:08,165 --> 00:55:09,166 Oh... 952 00:55:20,635 --> 00:55:21,678 Oh. 953 00:55:37,987 --> 00:55:39,446 [indistinct chatter] 954 00:56:09,518 --> 00:56:11,311 Oh, shit. 955 00:56:24,491 --> 00:56:27,411 Burset, you're coming with us. 956 00:56:27,494 --> 00:56:29,204 What the hell? 957 00:56:29,288 --> 00:56:31,040 Let's go, honey. 958 00:56:31,123 --> 00:56:33,333 You gotta tell me what's going on. 959 00:56:35,419 --> 00:56:36,586 You're going to the SHU. 960 00:56:37,629 --> 00:56:38,963 For what? 961 00:56:39,881 --> 00:56:42,217 For your own protection. 962 00:56:43,635 --> 00:56:44,803 [Ford] Caputo got a call. 963 00:56:46,971 --> 00:56:49,599 [whispering] You must have pissed off a pretty big dog. 964 00:56:49,683 --> 00:56:50,934 [scoffs] 965 00:56:51,017 --> 00:56:53,353 This is bullshit, you both know it. 966 00:56:53,437 --> 00:56:55,564 - Let's just get this over with. - Don't touch me. 967 00:56:55,647 --> 00:56:56,981 Inmate. 968 00:57:09,786 --> 00:57:11,371 [exhales] 969 00:57:18,545 --> 00:57:19,713 Let's go, then. 970 00:57:20,922 --> 00:57:22,924 [blues song playing] 971 00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:05,259 [buzzer sounds]