1 00:01:11,903 --> 00:01:14,352 synced and corrected by Caio www.addic7ed.com 2 00:01:30,253 --> 00:01:31,379 Sit, sit, sit. 3 00:01:31,463 --> 00:01:32,965 We don't give a shit about the movie. 4 00:01:33,048 --> 00:01:35,133 My heart is beating so fast right now. 5 00:01:35,217 --> 00:01:38,136 Bony, rat-faced son of a bitch deserved to grow an ass tulip. 6 00:01:38,220 --> 00:01:39,471 What in the fuck is wrong with us? 7 00:01:39,554 --> 00:01:41,306 We ain't rapey enough. 8 00:01:41,389 --> 00:01:43,475 I mean, I sure as hell don't wanna keep staring down that 9 00:01:43,558 --> 00:01:47,187 naked, hairy butthole and trying to pull apart them sticky cheeks. 10 00:01:47,270 --> 00:01:51,483 Do you think that he agonized over this like some little bitch? 11 00:01:52,359 --> 00:01:55,362 No. He planned his rape, and he raped his plan. 12 00:01:55,445 --> 00:01:56,905 He didn't plan it. 13 00:01:56,989 --> 00:02:00,993 At least not the first time. How do I know that he didn't feel bad? 14 00:02:01,076 --> 00:02:04,287 I mean, after he came? He could actually hate himself. 15 00:02:04,371 --> 00:02:06,331 Well, he fucking should. He's a rapist. 16 00:02:06,414 --> 00:02:07,540 Well, then maybe it's good 17 00:02:07,624 --> 00:02:11,044 that we didn't shove a carrot down his rabbit hole, 18 00:02:11,128 --> 00:02:14,131 'cause we could be sitting here, hating on ourselves too, Boo. 19 00:02:14,214 --> 00:02:15,924 Face it... 20 00:02:16,008 --> 00:02:19,344 we ain't Swedish enough to be splitting his starfish. 21 00:02:20,428 --> 00:02:23,015 And I ain't a rapist. I ain't, and I feel good about it. 22 00:02:23,098 --> 00:02:27,227 Well, I hope that is a consolation tomorrow when you have van duty. 23 00:02:28,186 --> 00:02:29,187 Shit. 24 00:02:29,271 --> 00:02:30,730 Oh. 25 00:02:30,813 --> 00:02:35,110 Maybe I'll drink that Mexican diarrhea tea that the fat chicolos make, 26 00:02:35,193 --> 00:02:36,444 and I'll be too sick to work. 27 00:02:36,528 --> 00:02:38,989 Yeah, that's great, but what about the next day, 28 00:02:39,072 --> 00:02:40,991 and the day after that and the next? 29 00:02:41,699 --> 00:02:44,744 He's got you. God, there's no fucking justice! 30 00:02:44,827 --> 00:02:47,164 Yeah, and I really don't like tea. 31 00:02:56,589 --> 00:02:57,632 Hmm? 32 00:02:57,715 --> 00:03:00,343 - I'm freaking the fuck out. - Relax, I'll catch you up. 33 00:03:00,427 --> 00:03:02,971 See, she's uptight, right, and he's this unpredictable sous chef... 34 00:03:03,055 --> 00:03:05,807 No, Soso is dead in the library. 35 00:03:06,975 --> 00:03:10,395 For real, I think. Look, I walked in... 36 00:03:10,478 --> 00:03:11,896 Go find a CO. 37 00:03:11,980 --> 00:03:13,106 No, I wanna see. Where is she? 38 00:03:13,190 --> 00:03:14,566 Will you please just come? 39 00:03:14,649 --> 00:03:16,026 Can we see? 40 00:03:16,109 --> 00:03:18,736 Oh, please, please, please, please, with extra sugar on top. 41 00:03:18,820 --> 00:03:20,030 - Please, please... - Okay. 42 00:03:20,113 --> 00:03:22,782 You save our seats, and tell me everything I miss. 43 00:03:22,865 --> 00:03:23,992 Fine. 44 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:29,372 Dead bodies. Dead bodies, dead bodies, dead bodies, dead bodies. 45 00:03:29,456 --> 00:03:30,707 Come on. 46 00:03:47,432 --> 00:03:49,142 - She ain't dead. - She ain't? 47 00:03:49,226 --> 00:03:51,186 I done seen enough dead to know alive. 48 00:03:59,027 --> 00:04:00,153 Here. 49 00:04:02,655 --> 00:04:04,616 What we gonna do with her? 50 00:04:04,699 --> 00:04:07,410 If only we had an invisibility cloak. 51 00:04:07,494 --> 00:04:10,788 Or an extremely deep and wide belly button. 52 00:04:10,872 --> 00:04:11,957 Stop it. 53 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,042 Man, we need to make sure the girl don't go to Psych. 54 00:04:14,126 --> 00:04:18,463 No. Like, N-O, no. Psych's so bad. 55 00:04:18,546 --> 00:04:20,382 I wouldn't even wish it on the people running it. 56 00:04:20,465 --> 00:04:22,759 Although that would be poetic in its own way. 57 00:04:22,842 --> 00:04:23,843 On my count, all right? 58 00:04:23,926 --> 00:04:26,679 One, two... 59 00:04:26,763 --> 00:04:28,140 Watch her head, watch her head. 60 00:04:28,223 --> 00:04:29,307 Got it. Got it. I got it. 61 00:04:29,391 --> 00:04:31,643 All right, you get the front. I got the back. 62 00:04:42,945 --> 00:04:45,115 Three, four, and wrong! 63 00:04:50,412 --> 00:04:51,413 Well? 64 00:04:51,496 --> 00:04:56,834 I skipped the final repetition and played directly into the coda. 65 00:04:56,918 --> 00:04:58,336 You thought I wouldn't notice? 66 00:04:59,254 --> 00:05:00,922 Do you know what happens to cheaters? 67 00:05:01,714 --> 00:05:02,757 They go to hell. 68 00:05:03,925 --> 00:05:04,926 Who told you that? 69 00:05:06,594 --> 00:05:07,637 Brook! 70 00:05:09,056 --> 00:05:10,473 Reverend Pat Roberts. 71 00:05:11,599 --> 00:05:14,019 I didn't watch TV on purpose. 72 00:05:14,102 --> 00:05:17,105 Jessica's parents always have The 700 Club on. 73 00:05:17,189 --> 00:05:20,567 And that's why Jessica never places at the science fair. 74 00:05:21,943 --> 00:05:24,446 There is no hell. There is no heaven. 75 00:05:24,529 --> 00:05:28,908 When we die, all that remains are the memories of our achievements. 76 00:05:28,991 --> 00:05:33,371 And cheaters are very quickly forgotten. 77 00:05:33,455 --> 00:05:35,207 Again. 78 00:05:37,041 --> 00:05:39,211 Play. And sit up straight! 79 00:05:41,671 --> 00:05:44,006 Hey. You have a nice day? 80 00:05:45,049 --> 00:05:46,343 We went to Olive Garden. 81 00:05:46,426 --> 00:05:48,928 Well, I had a good day, too. Helped some inmates. 82 00:05:49,011 --> 00:05:51,348 Your Russian friend? 83 00:05:51,431 --> 00:05:53,141 Yeah, and an Asian girl. 84 00:05:54,058 --> 00:05:57,270 Had a case of jailbird blues. Hey... 85 00:05:58,980 --> 00:06:02,150 did you ever consider that you're technically Asian? 86 00:06:02,234 --> 00:06:05,027 Round-eyed Asian with blond hair? 87 00:06:05,112 --> 00:06:06,363 I'm Ukrainian. 88 00:06:08,156 --> 00:06:10,200 I'm making a joke. 89 00:06:16,998 --> 00:06:20,377 You know, it wouldn't kill you to smile once in a while. 90 00:06:22,044 --> 00:06:24,672 It's not like I'm asking you to sleep in my bed... 91 00:06:25,798 --> 00:06:28,926 or bring me back leftovers of Lasagna Classico... 92 00:06:30,553 --> 00:06:32,597 which you pay for with my money, 93 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:36,518 which you know I enjoy, which you never finish! 94 00:06:38,270 --> 00:06:41,148 _ 95 00:06:44,442 --> 00:06:46,736 You know what? I had a really good day today. 96 00:06:46,819 --> 00:06:49,071 I had a really good day today. 97 00:06:50,323 --> 00:06:53,660 And I just wanted to come home and share it with you... 98 00:06:53,743 --> 00:06:55,162 and you don't care. 99 00:06:55,245 --> 00:06:56,496 At all! 100 00:06:58,790 --> 00:07:02,084 _ 101 00:07:03,002 --> 00:07:04,421 _ 102 00:07:13,513 --> 00:07:16,933 I think you and your mother ought to go get an apartment. 103 00:07:17,016 --> 00:07:19,852 - I'll help you pay for it. - You would do that? 104 00:07:22,689 --> 00:07:25,900 I'm surrounded by women in captivity all day long. 105 00:07:27,152 --> 00:07:31,030 I don't need to come home to another one who feels like she's trapped in a cage. 106 00:07:41,791 --> 00:07:44,126 Well, what you waiting for? 107 00:07:44,211 --> 00:07:46,338 Why don't you... put your fingers down her throat? 108 00:07:46,421 --> 00:07:49,841 Knowing what to do does not make me bottom bitch of the vomitorium. 109 00:07:49,924 --> 00:07:52,177 Maybe stick your fingers down your own throat. 110 00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:55,930 People see or hear other people puke, makes them wanna do it. 111 00:07:56,013 --> 00:07:57,557 Sympathetic vomiting. 112 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,601 Just... Fine, we wasting time. 113 00:07:59,684 --> 00:08:02,019 - Just fuck it. - No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 114 00:08:04,814 --> 00:08:05,857 Ew. 115 00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:07,192 - Easier cleanup. - Yeah. 116 00:08:07,275 --> 00:08:08,776 Okay. Good. Go. 117 00:08:11,988 --> 00:08:13,406 Okay. 118 00:08:17,118 --> 00:08:18,160 Yes. 119 00:08:19,787 --> 00:08:22,123 Oh, Jesus! 120 00:08:22,207 --> 00:08:23,541 Ew! 121 00:08:24,459 --> 00:08:26,168 Chunks! That's nasty! 122 00:08:26,253 --> 00:08:29,381 Hmm, but look at all them pills. 123 00:08:29,464 --> 00:08:30,798 Sympathetic vomiting. 124 00:08:32,049 --> 00:08:33,426 Pull the drain. 125 00:08:36,012 --> 00:08:39,307 Now, should we stick a needle in her heart or something? 126 00:08:39,391 --> 00:08:43,144 This ain't Pulp Fiction, and that ain't heroin. 127 00:08:43,228 --> 00:08:44,354 Well, why ain't she awake? 128 00:08:44,437 --> 00:08:46,939 'Cause she ate fistfuls of pills like they was Tic Tacs 129 00:08:47,023 --> 00:08:49,567 - and she weighs three pounds. - Good point. 130 00:08:49,651 --> 00:08:51,944 We gotta watch her and make sure she doesn't stop breathing, 131 00:08:52,028 --> 00:08:54,113 and if she does, we give her CPR. 132 00:08:54,196 --> 00:08:55,282 Shit. 133 00:08:55,365 --> 00:08:59,201 Look, if that happens, man, you giving her the mouth-to-throw-up-mouth, all right? 134 00:09:00,161 --> 00:09:01,203 She okay? 135 00:09:01,996 --> 00:09:04,666 There's no blood in it, so that's good. 136 00:09:05,292 --> 00:09:06,668 Huh. 137 00:09:06,751 --> 00:09:08,836 She'll be fine. 138 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,213 Man, why this shit gotta happen on movie night? 139 00:09:11,298 --> 00:09:12,799 Anybody want some cigarettes? 140 00:09:14,384 --> 00:09:16,928 I found these hanging from the drain. 141 00:09:18,846 --> 00:09:21,266 Relax. We go in, we make our case. 142 00:09:21,349 --> 00:09:24,644 Uh-uh. With Dad, we go in with one agenda, 143 00:09:24,727 --> 00:09:27,063 we come out excited to do the exact opposite. 144 00:09:27,146 --> 00:09:30,232 He's like a magical, manipulative wizard. 145 00:09:30,317 --> 00:09:32,985 There is no way either of us are gonna walk out of there 146 00:09:33,069 --> 00:09:37,449 thinking it's okay to punish the victim of a hate crime. 147 00:09:37,532 --> 00:09:40,368 "Burset comes out of the SHU." That's our mantra. 148 00:09:40,452 --> 00:09:42,004 - "Burset comes out of the SHU." - There you go. 149 00:09:42,078 --> 00:09:44,423 - Yeah. "Burset comes out of the SHU." - "Burset comes out of the SHU." 150 00:09:44,456 --> 00:09:47,124 Well, why don't we just drive back there and let her out ourselves? 151 00:09:47,208 --> 00:09:50,462 Okay, suppose we do that. Then what happens? 152 00:09:50,545 --> 00:09:51,921 We probably get fired. 153 00:09:52,004 --> 00:09:54,215 That's right. And then what? 154 00:09:54,299 --> 00:09:55,883 She gets thrown back in. 155 00:09:55,967 --> 00:09:58,470 But this time, there's no one around to help her. 156 00:09:58,553 --> 00:10:00,763 They'll bury her in there. You know that. 157 00:10:00,847 --> 00:10:03,975 - Let's do this right. - You're walking into the lion's den. 158 00:10:04,058 --> 00:10:05,768 I'm with a guy named Daniel. 159 00:10:05,852 --> 00:10:08,104 No one calls me that. 160 00:10:08,187 --> 00:10:11,316 And "Danny in the Lion's Den" sounds like the name of a picture book 161 00:10:11,399 --> 00:10:13,318 for slow, homeschooled kids. 162 00:10:14,611 --> 00:10:17,405 - Joe, he's my dad. - And he's wrong. 163 00:10:17,489 --> 00:10:19,574 You need to stand up to him, tell him that. 164 00:10:19,657 --> 00:10:21,701 He's gonna respect you for it. 165 00:10:21,784 --> 00:10:23,828 And if he doesn't, he's your dad, he's still gonna love you. 166 00:10:23,911 --> 00:10:27,749 Man, you know nothing about WASPs. 167 00:10:31,919 --> 00:10:34,922 Maybe you need to bust out the eggs again, like in the old days. 168 00:10:35,006 --> 00:10:36,257 Norma doesn't need that voodoo shit. 169 00:10:36,341 --> 00:10:38,510 Well, maybe she does. I mean, no offense, Norma, 170 00:10:38,593 --> 00:10:41,721 but your latest gift seems to be making your flock disappear. 171 00:10:41,804 --> 00:10:44,807 Those quitters aren't Norma's sheep. They're rats. 172 00:10:44,891 --> 00:10:47,101 Don't rats leave the sinking ship first? 173 00:10:47,184 --> 00:10:49,687 Shut up, Angie. It's your fault everybody bailed. 174 00:10:49,771 --> 00:10:50,938 What did Angie do? 175 00:10:51,022 --> 00:10:54,526 I ruined my miracle by getting thrown in the SHU. 176 00:10:55,317 --> 00:10:57,904 Which was seriously the worst thing that's ever happened to me. 177 00:10:57,987 --> 00:11:01,783 Even counting that time I smoked crack thinking it was meth 178 00:11:01,866 --> 00:11:04,786 and then took four shots of Everclear and ate cat poop. 179 00:11:05,828 --> 00:11:09,541 Maybe those quitter, rat-sheep girls are a little right. 180 00:11:09,624 --> 00:11:12,627 Like, if it was a miracle, shouldn't she be in France 181 00:11:12,710 --> 00:11:16,255 or Albuquerque or something? 182 00:11:16,338 --> 00:11:20,009 I'm sorry, Holy Norma. I didn't mean to mess it up. 183 00:11:21,343 --> 00:11:24,346 You'll go back to making people cry, but in a good way, really soon. 184 00:11:26,641 --> 00:11:27,642 Get out. 185 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,071 I heard a rumor we're getting new beds. 186 00:11:41,322 --> 00:11:43,658 Did your spirit friends have anything to do with that? 187 00:11:45,743 --> 00:11:49,831 Look, people love a sign, you know? 188 00:11:50,915 --> 00:11:53,460 We're all looking for a clue that there's a reason for things, 189 00:11:53,543 --> 00:11:57,672 that everything's not all random and lonely, you know? 190 00:11:57,755 --> 00:12:02,259 Maybe focus on another miracle... one some dummy can't fuck up. 191 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:11,227 What do you want, Gonzales? 192 00:12:12,436 --> 00:12:14,981 Straight-up gangsta, Chapman. Respect. 193 00:12:15,064 --> 00:12:18,818 - I'm not the Godfather. - No. You're taller and tighter. 194 00:12:19,944 --> 00:12:21,153 It was business. 195 00:12:21,237 --> 00:12:23,072 So what's it gonna take for me to get back in? 196 00:12:23,155 --> 00:12:24,616 Have you actually seen The Godfather? 197 00:12:24,699 --> 00:12:28,035 You're the sour-pantied Luca Brasi. 198 00:12:28,119 --> 00:12:29,579 You sleep with the fishes. 199 00:12:29,662 --> 00:12:32,289 - I can help. - You're dead to me. 200 00:12:32,373 --> 00:12:33,415 Basta. 201 00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,334 Oh, come on, my mom is sick. 202 00:12:35,417 --> 00:12:37,003 Really? Is that the best that you can come up with? 203 00:12:37,086 --> 00:12:39,631 No! For real. 204 00:12:40,882 --> 00:12:42,133 She's got lymphoma, 205 00:12:42,216 --> 00:12:45,595 and the co-pays and shit are killing her faster than the cancer. 206 00:12:47,304 --> 00:12:49,098 I gotta be able to help her. 207 00:12:49,181 --> 00:12:53,645 But instead, I'm stuck in this shithole, barely making enough to pay for Pantene. 208 00:12:55,146 --> 00:12:56,147 I'm sorry. 209 00:12:56,230 --> 00:13:00,401 Come on, Chapman, please. I know you're a good person. 210 00:13:00,484 --> 00:13:03,112 And think of all that sweet potorro tang I'm wasting. 211 00:13:03,195 --> 00:13:07,449 I'm begging and I don't do that 'cause I got Latin pride and shit. 212 00:13:07,534 --> 00:13:11,996 But I'm begging you for this, 'cause it's real stuff going on. 213 00:13:14,541 --> 00:13:17,001 You start off at a lower rate than everybody else. 214 00:13:17,084 --> 00:13:18,085 Thank you. 215 00:13:18,169 --> 00:13:20,421 - Thank you... - No hugging. Mmm-mmm. 216 00:13:27,804 --> 00:13:28,846 It's none of my business, 217 00:13:28,930 --> 00:13:32,474 but you know that teardrop under her eye isn't real, right? 218 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:35,770 You're right. It's literally none of your business. 219 00:13:35,853 --> 00:13:38,565 It's my business, and it's flourishing. 220 00:13:38,648 --> 00:13:42,109 How do you think that's gonna look? Bringing back the agitator-in-chief? 221 00:13:42,193 --> 00:13:45,487 Like I am a good and benevolent dictator. 222 00:13:45,572 --> 00:13:47,990 Like King Wangchuck of Bhutan. 223 00:13:48,074 --> 00:13:50,367 He created the Gross National Happiness scale 224 00:13:50,451 --> 00:13:54,538 so his people would be content and remain loyal. 225 00:13:54,622 --> 00:13:56,290 And how did that work out for him? 226 00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:58,835 Yeah. 227 00:13:58,918 --> 00:14:01,588 There's no such thing as a benevolent dictator, 228 00:14:01,671 --> 00:14:03,380 only a weak one, or a dead one. 229 00:14:03,464 --> 00:14:07,509 He did not die. He abdicated voluntarily. 230 00:14:07,594 --> 00:14:08,678 You know what I mean. 231 00:14:08,761 --> 00:14:10,554 You're letting the fox back into the hen house. 232 00:14:10,638 --> 00:14:14,391 You dumped me because I fired Flaca, 233 00:14:14,475 --> 00:14:17,061 and now you're criticizing me for bringing her back. 234 00:14:17,144 --> 00:14:20,106 I broke up with you because you were being gross, 235 00:14:20,189 --> 00:14:21,608 and now you're being stupid. 236 00:14:21,691 --> 00:14:25,695 That girl wants to fuck you over and get her prison cred back. 237 00:14:25,778 --> 00:14:26,779 But you're right. 238 00:14:26,863 --> 00:14:29,657 It's none of my business. 239 00:14:29,741 --> 00:14:31,576 Godfather knows best. 240 00:14:38,207 --> 00:14:39,959 Oh, shit! 241 00:14:40,042 --> 00:14:41,878 What the fuck? 242 00:14:45,673 --> 00:14:47,842 Well, can't make it worse. 243 00:14:47,925 --> 00:14:49,301 Seriously? 244 00:14:49,385 --> 00:14:52,179 You feed people food from the fucking floor, like we're animals? 245 00:14:52,263 --> 00:14:55,224 Maybe we should all get down on our knees and lick it up! 246 00:14:55,307 --> 00:14:56,684 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 247 00:14:56,768 --> 00:14:57,935 I'm kidding. 248 00:14:58,019 --> 00:15:01,438 They doubled our order of slop this month, we can cover it. 249 00:15:02,607 --> 00:15:03,775 What's gotten into you? 250 00:15:03,858 --> 00:15:05,526 It's not your problem. 251 00:15:06,694 --> 00:15:08,570 She got man troubles. 252 00:15:08,655 --> 00:15:10,782 Well, why didn't you say so? 253 00:15:12,617 --> 00:15:14,201 Don't give it back when you're done. 254 00:15:14,285 --> 00:15:16,287 Not that kind of man. 255 00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:17,830 What other kind is there? 256 00:15:22,209 --> 00:15:23,628 The kind with tits. 257 00:15:23,711 --> 00:15:26,631 Burset? They took her to Seg. 258 00:15:26,714 --> 00:15:28,841 I've had enough. What's done is done. 259 00:15:28,925 --> 00:15:30,134 Let's not beat a dead horse. 260 00:15:30,217 --> 00:15:32,303 Black Beauty was the one beat you. 261 00:15:32,386 --> 00:15:34,972 - You ask me, it got what was coming. - Uh-uh. 262 00:15:35,056 --> 00:15:37,391 - Don't blame me for what happened. - I'm giving you credit. 263 00:15:37,474 --> 00:15:39,977 You were the one that started spreading all those rumors about her. 264 00:15:40,061 --> 00:15:42,647 So I'll take credit, too. Mission accomplished. 265 00:15:42,730 --> 00:15:44,857 You two need to clean this up. 266 00:15:44,941 --> 00:15:46,734 I'll get the mop. 267 00:15:46,818 --> 00:15:52,239 Gloria, sometimes there's a mess. It happens. 268 00:15:55,576 --> 00:15:56,994 Yeah. 269 00:16:02,249 --> 00:16:05,294 Something's the matter. I can tell. 270 00:16:05,377 --> 00:16:08,673 I got this talent for knowing when things are bothering people. 271 00:16:08,756 --> 00:16:09,799 Nothing's bothering me. 272 00:16:09,882 --> 00:16:13,970 Yeah, something is. I can feel it in my elbow. 273 00:16:14,053 --> 00:16:16,263 All the women in my family got the knowing elbow. 274 00:16:17,974 --> 00:16:19,851 Yeah, well, something's bothering you, too. 275 00:16:19,934 --> 00:16:21,143 I can feel it in my toe. 276 00:16:21,227 --> 00:16:22,394 Which toe? 277 00:16:23,896 --> 00:16:26,107 Oh, you're bluffing. 278 00:16:27,358 --> 00:16:29,485 All right, fine. 279 00:16:29,568 --> 00:16:31,445 - You want me to say this? - Yeah. 280 00:16:31,528 --> 00:16:33,197 I think we should end this. 281 00:16:35,657 --> 00:16:37,118 Oh, no. 282 00:16:37,201 --> 00:16:42,373 No, that is not what I was thinking at all. 283 00:16:43,958 --> 00:16:45,001 It wasn't? 284 00:16:45,084 --> 00:16:47,044 No, I... 285 00:16:47,128 --> 00:16:50,297 I was thinking how hard gravity had been on me 286 00:16:50,381 --> 00:16:53,550 'cause I fell so far so fast for you. 287 00:16:53,634 --> 00:16:56,512 I was gonna tell you I love you, 288 00:16:56,595 --> 00:17:00,182 and I ain't never said that to nobody, except this one guy before. 289 00:17:00,892 --> 00:17:03,019 You telling me you don't love me? 290 00:17:03,102 --> 00:17:05,855 It ain't got nothing to do with feelings, okay? 291 00:17:05,938 --> 00:17:07,689 I got crazy feelings for you. 292 00:17:07,774 --> 00:17:10,692 Pauly D, JWoww 2010 kind of feelings. 293 00:17:10,777 --> 00:17:14,155 - But that's the problem, you know? - I don't get that! 294 00:17:14,238 --> 00:17:16,157 They couldn't act on them. 295 00:17:17,199 --> 00:17:18,700 JWoww had a boyfriend. 296 00:17:18,785 --> 00:17:20,244 You got prison. 297 00:17:20,327 --> 00:17:22,454 Well, there's nowhere to go. 298 00:17:22,538 --> 00:17:24,957 It's like it's blue balls, but for my heart, Lorna. 299 00:17:25,041 --> 00:17:27,877 No, this is not happening. I... 300 00:17:29,295 --> 00:17:32,256 I was saving this for my vision board. 301 00:17:32,339 --> 00:17:35,176 But all vision, no action kills Hamlet, right? 302 00:17:35,259 --> 00:17:37,386 I guess. I don't really know. 303 00:17:37,469 --> 00:17:39,305 It did. I saw the movie. 304 00:17:42,016 --> 00:17:43,059 Whoa, whoa. 305 00:17:43,142 --> 00:17:44,894 Come on, baby. What are you doing? 306 00:17:46,813 --> 00:17:50,274 I love you, Vince Muccio. 307 00:17:50,357 --> 00:17:53,402 And I love everything that you've done for me, 308 00:17:53,485 --> 00:17:57,448 especially beating up that good-for-nothing Christopher, 309 00:17:57,531 --> 00:18:00,409 showing me what a real man looks like. 310 00:18:01,577 --> 00:18:03,620 I wanna spend my life with you... 311 00:18:04,914 --> 00:18:07,166 and I don't wanna wait. 312 00:18:07,249 --> 00:18:09,293 Inmate, back in your seat! 313 00:18:10,377 --> 00:18:11,670 I want you to marry me. 314 00:18:13,172 --> 00:18:16,592 Morello, no touching! Back in your seat, now! 315 00:18:22,264 --> 00:18:24,141 Well, don't leave a girl hanging. 316 00:18:25,517 --> 00:18:26,768 What do you say? 317 00:18:29,771 --> 00:18:35,111 You are the most amazing girl I have ever met, Lorna Morello. 318 00:18:35,194 --> 00:18:38,197 I mean, it should be the guy doing the asking, 319 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,324 but I gotta say there's something kind of hot about you 320 00:18:40,407 --> 00:18:41,492 down on your knees like that. 321 00:18:48,415 --> 00:18:49,458 Yes. 322 00:18:50,626 --> 00:18:53,129 - Yes. Yes, I will. - Oh! 323 00:18:53,212 --> 00:18:55,047 I will marry you. I will marry you. 324 00:18:56,841 --> 00:19:00,177 I swear, I'm gonna be... 325 00:19:00,261 --> 00:19:02,679 such a good wife. 326 00:19:02,763 --> 00:19:04,765 - The best. - The best. 327 00:19:04,849 --> 00:19:05,975 I don't want you to go, 328 00:19:06,058 --> 00:19:08,644 but I think we should say goodbye so we can kiss. Yeah? 329 00:19:08,727 --> 00:19:09,728 Okay. 330 00:19:09,811 --> 00:19:11,939 CO Ford, uh, we are done here. 331 00:19:12,023 --> 00:19:15,276 Can we say goodbye and maybe kiss a little, please? 332 00:19:35,671 --> 00:19:36,838 All right, wrap it up. 333 00:19:40,717 --> 00:19:42,261 Morello, wrap it up! 334 00:19:48,059 --> 00:19:49,476 The body of Christ. 335 00:19:50,519 --> 00:19:51,812 Amen. 336 00:19:51,896 --> 00:19:53,522 The body of Christ. 337 00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:57,859 - The body of Christ. - Amen. 338 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,033 The body of Christ. Amen. 339 00:20:04,116 --> 00:20:05,201 The body of Christ. 340 00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:08,955 - Amen. - The body of Christ. 341 00:20:11,999 --> 00:20:14,335 Ah, look at my little princess. 342 00:20:14,418 --> 00:20:17,671 You got Christ in your body now, dolly. That means you got responsibilities. 343 00:20:17,754 --> 00:20:20,132 - I love this dress! - What's in your hand? 344 00:20:20,216 --> 00:20:23,344 I read in a magazine that white food makes you fat. 345 00:20:23,427 --> 00:20:26,180 You didn't eat your Eucharist? She didn't eat her Eucharist. 346 00:20:26,263 --> 00:20:28,682 You gotta eat the cracker, Lorna. The cracker's the whole point. 347 00:20:28,765 --> 00:20:31,143 No, Mommy, the dress is the whole point! 348 00:20:31,227 --> 00:20:34,480 Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Jesus! 349 00:20:53,540 --> 00:20:56,210 - Should I remain silent? - Actually, I... 350 00:20:56,293 --> 00:20:58,004 I could use a nice chat. 351 00:21:00,381 --> 00:21:02,174 You ever believe in anything, Red? 352 00:21:02,258 --> 00:21:06,720 Valentina Vladimirovna Tereshkova. 353 00:21:06,803 --> 00:21:11,183 Her father drove a tractor and her mother worked in a textile plant, 354 00:21:11,267 --> 00:21:14,436 and she went to outer space in a rocket ship. 355 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:18,065 First woman to do that. I worshipped her. 356 00:21:18,149 --> 00:21:19,191 What happened? 357 00:21:19,275 --> 00:21:21,943 Nothing, I still think she's terrific. 358 00:21:22,028 --> 00:21:25,322 She's in her 70s now and she wants to go to Mars. 359 00:21:25,406 --> 00:21:27,074 Put in a request with Putin. 360 00:21:27,992 --> 00:21:30,036 Russians stay focused. 361 00:21:35,791 --> 00:21:39,295 This doesn't feel like the good kind of silence. 362 00:21:39,378 --> 00:21:40,379 It's not. 363 00:21:40,462 --> 00:21:42,673 At least it's bread day. 364 00:21:42,756 --> 00:21:46,052 And it's so over-toasted, you could pretend it was a cracker. 365 00:21:46,135 --> 00:21:47,636 Wait. 366 00:21:54,060 --> 00:21:57,479 I never doubted you, not for a second! 367 00:21:57,563 --> 00:21:59,648 Gently, gently. Hold it up. 368 00:22:03,527 --> 00:22:06,780 It's her! It's exactly her! 369 00:22:08,407 --> 00:22:10,326 - Oh, my Norma! - Careful. 370 00:22:13,579 --> 00:22:15,206 It's Toast Norma. 371 00:22:16,248 --> 00:22:19,251 It's a miracle. Toast Norma! 372 00:22:19,335 --> 00:22:20,669 Toast Norma! 373 00:22:23,505 --> 00:22:27,509 It's like one of those 3D poster thingies from when we were kids. 374 00:22:27,593 --> 00:22:29,720 You gotta wait a second to see it. 375 00:22:35,642 --> 00:22:37,311 Praise be to Norma. 376 00:22:37,394 --> 00:22:42,566 Her image has been emblazoned by the universe unto toast 377 00:22:42,649 --> 00:22:46,487 as a reminder of her power and goodliness here on this earth. 378 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,324 There's never any dignity at the end. 379 00:22:50,407 --> 00:22:53,076 Yeah, I'm gonna check it out. 380 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,622 Gina. Gina... don't be a fool. 381 00:22:56,705 --> 00:23:00,292 I have a birthmark on my left butt cheek that's shaped like a scarab. 382 00:23:00,376 --> 00:23:02,043 Doesn't make me Cleopatra. 383 00:23:02,128 --> 00:23:04,171 Yo, Norma, you in their toast! 384 00:23:04,255 --> 00:23:06,215 You in the toast! 385 00:23:06,298 --> 00:23:08,300 What's going on? 386 00:23:08,384 --> 00:23:11,928 - Gaze upon the glory of the toast. - You in the toast. 387 00:23:12,012 --> 00:23:14,014 - Look at that! - Yeah, I don't see it. It... 388 00:23:14,097 --> 00:23:16,016 Oh, holy mother, there it is in, in the burn marks. 389 00:23:16,099 --> 00:23:17,684 - Yeah! - Oh, it's beautiful! 390 00:23:17,768 --> 00:23:20,646 It's a gift. It's a gift. 391 00:23:20,729 --> 00:23:25,151 It's a gift! Thank you. Thank you, Norma. 392 00:23:25,234 --> 00:23:26,360 It's so crazy. Toast Norma. 393 00:23:26,443 --> 00:23:27,861 It's a miracle. 394 00:23:27,944 --> 00:23:30,531 Norma, it looks just like you. It's a real miracle. 395 00:23:31,490 --> 00:23:34,075 - She's sleeping again. - What? 396 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,202 Yo, Bennie. 397 00:23:35,286 --> 00:23:37,120 Wake up. 398 00:23:37,204 --> 00:23:38,497 "Bennie"? 399 00:23:38,580 --> 00:23:40,374 Yeah, we checked out them foils, man. 400 00:23:40,457 --> 00:23:42,251 You took, like, 100 Benadryls. 401 00:23:42,334 --> 00:23:46,255 But the good news is your allergies are squared away for, like, a decade. 402 00:23:48,006 --> 00:23:50,384 I still don't understand why we're helping her anyway. 403 00:23:50,467 --> 00:23:51,635 She ain't one of us. 404 00:23:51,718 --> 00:23:54,388 Because you have never been to Psych. 405 00:23:54,471 --> 00:23:56,097 Nobody saved me from the SHU. 406 00:23:56,182 --> 00:23:58,392 Well, eventually, you come back from the SHU. 407 00:23:58,475 --> 00:24:00,060 And look, besides, as long as she with us, 408 00:24:00,143 --> 00:24:02,896 we're gonna be like the Tiger Woods of prison cliques. 409 00:24:02,979 --> 00:24:04,856 Blasian is beautiful. 410 00:24:04,940 --> 00:24:06,317 Hey, that's right. 411 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:10,237 Your skin doesn't have to be black, as long as your heart is black. 412 00:24:11,488 --> 00:24:12,989 Um... 413 00:24:13,073 --> 00:24:14,241 She's sleeping again. 414 00:24:14,325 --> 00:24:16,660 You've been pretty chill about all of this. 415 00:24:16,743 --> 00:24:19,330 - Shh. - Man, what you doin', anyway? 416 00:24:19,413 --> 00:24:22,416 Well, for your nosy information, I'm working on my conversion essay. 417 00:24:22,499 --> 00:24:24,960 - You still on that? - You damn right. 418 00:24:25,043 --> 00:24:26,503 No matter what they take from me, 419 00:24:26,587 --> 00:24:28,589 they can't take away my motherfucking kosher meals. 420 00:24:28,672 --> 00:24:33,093 Okay. I got a Black Jew, I got an Asian Black, 421 00:24:33,176 --> 00:24:35,846 a bunch of race-squatting carpetbaggers. 422 00:24:35,929 --> 00:24:40,642 You've disciplined your body in accordance with the teachings of blessed Elijah, 423 00:24:40,726 --> 00:24:42,978 for the glory of Allah. 424 00:24:43,061 --> 00:24:44,771 But anything more, anything more, 425 00:24:44,855 --> 00:24:47,816 is self-aggrandizing and immodest, and I forbid it. 426 00:24:47,899 --> 00:24:50,068 What about college? 427 00:24:50,151 --> 00:24:52,153 Running track can pay for it. 428 00:24:52,238 --> 00:24:56,074 Not if it means running half-naked in public, like a common whore. 429 00:24:56,157 --> 00:24:57,868 I can't compete wearing a tent. 430 00:24:57,951 --> 00:25:01,663 She has a talent and a passion, and college, 431 00:25:01,747 --> 00:25:05,417 a good college, is out of reach without this. 432 00:25:05,501 --> 00:25:10,046 Especially for a woman. Especially for a black woman. 433 00:25:10,130 --> 00:25:12,591 Money is not my god. 434 00:25:14,426 --> 00:25:17,638 Maybe Allah ain't my god. 435 00:25:19,014 --> 00:25:23,101 Maybe I don't want to be a proud daughter in the Nation of Islam. 436 00:25:35,238 --> 00:25:37,741 _ 437 00:25:37,824 --> 00:25:40,369 _ 438 00:25:40,452 --> 00:25:41,495 Mmm. 439 00:25:41,578 --> 00:25:44,623 _ 440 00:25:44,706 --> 00:25:48,502 _ 441 00:25:48,585 --> 00:25:51,171 _ 442 00:25:51,254 --> 00:25:53,507 - A mailbox that leaks pee. - Uh-uh. 443 00:25:54,341 --> 00:25:55,801 I asked for a C-section, 444 00:25:55,884 --> 00:25:58,804 so my sails wouldn't be flapping in the wind. 445 00:25:58,887 --> 00:26:00,389 I don't have anything flapping. 446 00:26:00,472 --> 00:26:03,141 It feels like, you know, when you get punched in the eye and it swells shut? 447 00:26:03,224 --> 00:26:04,601 Except I got punched in the chocha. 448 00:26:04,685 --> 00:26:07,062 You're back, and you didn't come talk to your mother? 449 00:26:07,145 --> 00:26:08,229 What kind of shit is that? 450 00:26:09,523 --> 00:26:12,318 I knew I didn't have to 'cause you're gonna butt in anyway. 451 00:26:12,401 --> 00:26:14,027 You got what you wanted, didn't you? 452 00:26:14,110 --> 00:26:15,821 I was with my baby two hours, 453 00:26:15,904 --> 00:26:18,740 getting ready to hand it over to Pornstache's mom. 454 00:26:18,824 --> 00:26:21,910 And who shows up? Cesar and our cousin, Yas. 455 00:26:21,993 --> 00:26:24,663 Don't pretend like you ain't happy, 'cause I know you are. 456 00:26:24,746 --> 00:26:25,956 Ah, you don't know anything. 457 00:26:26,957 --> 00:26:30,377 You're happy, but you can't say it 'cause you gotta hate me. 458 00:26:31,420 --> 00:26:33,922 You said keeping the baby was the worst thing for her. 459 00:26:34,005 --> 00:26:35,341 Yeah, well, kids adapt. 460 00:26:35,424 --> 00:26:37,593 Marc Anthony grew up in the projects 461 00:26:37,676 --> 00:26:41,012 and now he's rich and got to stick it to J. Lo even though he's pocket-size. 462 00:26:42,013 --> 00:26:43,849 And this was about you. 463 00:26:44,766 --> 00:26:48,103 I know that feeling you got when you had her in your arms. 464 00:26:48,186 --> 00:26:51,147 And if that went away forever, you'd be all kinds of fucked up. 465 00:26:51,231 --> 00:26:54,109 You make her sound like she's drugs. 466 00:26:54,192 --> 00:26:55,652 The worst kind. 467 00:26:56,945 --> 00:27:00,366 She's gonna make you feel better than you ever thought you could, 468 00:27:00,449 --> 00:27:02,951 then drain all your money and ruin your life. 469 00:27:03,952 --> 00:27:05,203 You're always gonna need her. 470 00:27:06,538 --> 00:27:09,500 And even when you hate her, you're gonna love her. 471 00:27:10,709 --> 00:27:12,628 Even when she's in prison with you. 472 00:27:20,176 --> 00:27:23,013 - Thank you. - Was that so fucking hard? 473 00:27:25,098 --> 00:27:28,644 Nosing whiskey isn't like sniffing wine. 474 00:27:28,727 --> 00:27:31,062 Now, you'd fry your brain right out of your skull 475 00:27:31,146 --> 00:27:34,400 with full nasal insertion into the tumbler. 476 00:27:34,483 --> 00:27:36,568 No, nosing is an art form of its own. 477 00:27:36,652 --> 00:27:39,613 All right, when you boys are ready, go ahead and imbibe. 478 00:27:39,696 --> 00:27:40,864 But don't swallow. 479 00:27:40,947 --> 00:27:43,450 Chew the scotch. 480 00:27:43,534 --> 00:27:47,370 Let it explore the different taste corners of your tongue. 481 00:27:47,454 --> 00:27:50,373 He stole all that fellating whiskey stuff from a YouTube video. 482 00:27:50,457 --> 00:27:51,917 You got something to say there, Danny? 483 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,294 Dad, uh, we just really need to get down to business. 484 00:27:54,377 --> 00:27:56,922 Danny, I'm trying to teach you. 485 00:27:57,005 --> 00:27:58,339 It's all business. 486 00:27:58,424 --> 00:28:01,885 The club, the bullshit, it's a dance. 487 00:28:01,968 --> 00:28:04,012 Yeah, well, Burset comes out of the SHU. Cha-cha-cha. 488 00:28:06,139 --> 00:28:07,599 Uh, Burset comes out of the SHU. 489 00:28:07,683 --> 00:28:09,184 I heard you the first time. 490 00:28:10,268 --> 00:28:11,352 Where was your preamble? 491 00:28:11,437 --> 00:28:14,147 Where was the lead-in where you reminded me 492 00:28:14,230 --> 00:28:17,568 how you saved money on the fence repair and the new meal plan? 493 00:28:17,651 --> 00:28:19,820 Come on, I taught you better! 494 00:28:20,403 --> 00:28:22,614 Tell me about the new beds we're installing. 495 00:28:22,698 --> 00:28:25,451 Tell me how much more money we're gonna make. 496 00:28:25,534 --> 00:28:28,369 Mr. Pearson, we need to focus 497 00:28:28,454 --> 00:28:31,331 on the people we're tucking into these new beds, 498 00:28:31,414 --> 00:28:33,792 or any budget surplus we find 499 00:28:33,875 --> 00:28:38,589 is going straight to fight one gross-negligence lawsuit after another. 500 00:28:38,672 --> 00:28:42,843 We have a chance to set the pace with Burset. 501 00:28:42,926 --> 00:28:44,803 We can't keep her in the SHU forever, 502 00:28:44,886 --> 00:28:47,973 and the longer we do, the more we open ourselves up for... 503 00:28:48,056 --> 00:28:50,476 Let me back you up here for a second, Joe. 504 00:28:50,559 --> 00:28:53,770 Ms. Burset is in protective custody, 505 00:28:53,854 --> 00:28:56,565 not solitary confinement. 506 00:28:56,648 --> 00:28:59,067 It's both one and the horrible same, sir. 507 00:28:59,150 --> 00:29:01,027 I understand. 508 00:29:01,111 --> 00:29:06,575 And we need to talk about updating our facilities and our policies 509 00:29:06,658 --> 00:29:08,785 about their use as a long-term priority. 510 00:29:08,869 --> 00:29:11,371 - Well, how can a priority be long-term? - Uh, Danny... 511 00:29:11,455 --> 00:29:15,333 No, no, no, a priority by definition is something that needs to happen right now. 512 00:29:15,416 --> 00:29:16,585 I think what Danny means... 513 00:29:16,668 --> 00:29:18,587 No, no, no, no, he knows what I mean. 514 00:29:18,670 --> 00:29:20,506 What I mean is Burset comes out of the SHU, 515 00:29:20,589 --> 00:29:22,796 - 'cause she didn't do anything wrong! - All right, son, all right. 516 00:29:22,841 --> 00:29:26,177 No, don't do that! That placating thing! You're doing it right now! 517 00:29:26,261 --> 00:29:28,514 And you lied to me, and you did it to my face! 518 00:29:28,597 --> 00:29:30,140 I told you we would look over our options. 519 00:29:30,223 --> 00:29:31,600 We did... 520 00:29:31,683 --> 00:29:33,752 ... and there were none better. So you can either suck it up... 521 00:29:33,769 --> 00:29:35,436 You know, fine! That's it! I quit! 522 00:29:35,521 --> 00:29:36,980 Whoa, what's going on? 523 00:29:37,063 --> 00:29:40,191 Yeah. Enjoy nose-fucking your whiskey! 524 00:29:41,735 --> 00:29:42,903 This is out of line. 525 00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:01,922 Find anything good? 526 00:30:02,005 --> 00:30:04,257 These donated books are the suck. 527 00:30:05,676 --> 00:30:07,636 I read that one already. 528 00:30:07,719 --> 00:30:10,764 Once you rebuild your bones with butter, you're gonna have to unclog your arteries 529 00:30:10,847 --> 00:30:13,266 with, like, a Shop-Vac or something. 530 00:30:13,349 --> 00:30:14,560 It's kind of bullshit. 531 00:30:14,643 --> 00:30:15,769 Spoiler alert. 532 00:30:17,103 --> 00:30:21,274 Hey, um, thanks again for giving me a second chance, Chapman. 533 00:30:22,609 --> 00:30:23,652 I'm really grateful. 534 00:30:23,735 --> 00:30:24,736 Uh-huh. 535 00:30:31,451 --> 00:30:33,620 Next! 536 00:30:33,704 --> 00:30:34,913 Nah, we don't got that. 537 00:30:34,996 --> 00:30:38,584 All these new guards. Infiltrators. 538 00:30:38,667 --> 00:30:39,793 Next. 539 00:30:39,876 --> 00:30:41,962 Did you see the toothpick guy? 540 00:30:42,045 --> 00:30:44,089 Uh, no. I've been laying real low. 541 00:30:44,172 --> 00:30:45,506 Don't turn around! 542 00:30:47,593 --> 00:30:49,010 They're watching. 543 00:30:50,303 --> 00:30:52,598 There's the squirrelly dude who looks like a young Jack Nicholson, 544 00:30:52,681 --> 00:30:55,016 who's always givin' everybody donuts. 545 00:30:55,100 --> 00:30:56,893 Then there's the high-school-looking kid 546 00:30:56,977 --> 00:31:00,647 who uses that little baby face to get away with... something. 547 00:31:00,731 --> 00:31:04,860 And now, there's a toothpick guy. He started today! 548 00:31:04,943 --> 00:31:06,737 Next. 549 00:31:06,820 --> 00:31:09,573 - Thanks. I'll be careful. - You will be dead. 550 00:31:10,824 --> 00:31:14,160 I haven't even gotten started on the black Mr. Clean over there. 551 00:31:15,704 --> 00:31:19,415 What, CO Please-and-thank-you? He's a teddy bear. 552 00:31:19,499 --> 00:31:23,294 Who are the Teddy Bears? Should I know about them? 553 00:31:25,005 --> 00:31:26,131 Next. 554 00:31:28,925 --> 00:31:31,595 Ivory soap, Colgate, Diet Coke. 555 00:31:34,765 --> 00:31:35,766 Bad choice. 556 00:31:35,849 --> 00:31:39,310 Aspartame invented by Donald Rumsfeld in the '80s. 557 00:31:40,478 --> 00:31:42,563 Mind control. 558 00:31:42,648 --> 00:31:43,899 That's true. 559 00:31:43,982 --> 00:31:46,067 Seriously? You, too? 560 00:31:47,277 --> 00:31:49,905 Did you know that Monsanto 561 00:31:49,988 --> 00:31:53,491 gave Donald Rumsfeld $12 million for aspartame in 1985? 562 00:31:53,574 --> 00:31:54,993 Yes. 563 00:31:55,911 --> 00:31:57,287 All right, we should talk. 564 00:31:59,539 --> 00:32:01,582 Soso, thanks for comin'. 565 00:32:01,667 --> 00:32:04,419 Please, have a seat. 566 00:32:08,589 --> 00:32:09,841 Are you okay? 567 00:32:11,092 --> 00:32:13,053 You look, uh... 568 00:32:14,220 --> 00:32:16,597 Did they give you your prescription at medical? 569 00:32:17,598 --> 00:32:19,851 Well, sometimes it takes a couple of weeks to even out. 570 00:32:19,935 --> 00:32:21,645 What did you wanna see me about? 571 00:32:21,728 --> 00:32:23,104 Berdie Rogers. 572 00:32:24,189 --> 00:32:25,440 Is she coming back? 573 00:32:26,692 --> 00:32:31,487 Mr. Caputo is gonna be talking to several inmates about her conduct. 574 00:32:31,571 --> 00:32:33,489 I want you to know that you can trust him. 575 00:32:33,573 --> 00:32:37,118 You can basically tell him anything you would tell me. 576 00:32:37,202 --> 00:32:42,373 For example, don't be afraid to tell him that you spoke with her for several weeks 577 00:32:42,457 --> 00:32:44,918 and she offered you no medical care for your... 578 00:32:46,127 --> 00:32:47,462 Your mental condition. 579 00:32:49,589 --> 00:32:52,383 You're really bad at your job, Mr. Healy. 580 00:32:55,303 --> 00:32:58,098 Like, really bad. 581 00:33:00,141 --> 00:33:03,644 You make me feel worse about myself every time we talk. 582 00:33:05,521 --> 00:33:06,982 Berdie helped me. 583 00:33:08,608 --> 00:33:10,526 I'm going now. 584 00:33:19,745 --> 00:33:21,830 - We're ready. - You made that? 585 00:33:21,913 --> 00:33:23,331 Mmm-hmm. 586 00:33:23,414 --> 00:33:25,917 As good as any tattoo gun you'll see in the real world. 587 00:33:26,001 --> 00:33:27,335 I mean, almost. 588 00:33:27,418 --> 00:33:29,379 This is a spinny thing from an old Discman, 589 00:33:29,462 --> 00:33:31,923 and that drives the needle that I snagged from the sweatshop. 590 00:33:32,007 --> 00:33:34,175 Where did you find a Discman? 591 00:33:34,259 --> 00:33:36,302 One of the OG ladies. 592 00:33:36,386 --> 00:33:39,597 She traded it for a fan. Thank God for hot flashes. 593 00:33:41,599 --> 00:33:43,769 Add a little power. 594 00:33:46,562 --> 00:33:48,564 And some ink. 595 00:33:49,733 --> 00:33:52,610 Now all I need... is the girl. 596 00:33:53,653 --> 00:33:58,324 I'm thinking an infinity symbol. I'm thinking a small infinity symbol. 597 00:33:58,408 --> 00:33:59,785 Mmm-mmm. Cliché. 598 00:33:59,868 --> 00:34:01,995 Said the girl with the... 599 00:34:03,830 --> 00:34:05,081 Yeah. 600 00:34:05,165 --> 00:34:07,208 Those are all pretty unique. 601 00:34:07,292 --> 00:34:10,962 Let me surprise you. Unless you don't trust me. 602 00:34:11,046 --> 00:34:12,839 I don't trust anybody, 603 00:34:12,923 --> 00:34:14,758 and I'm starting to have second thoughts about this. 604 00:34:14,841 --> 00:34:16,634 Chicken. Come on, it's white ink. 605 00:34:16,717 --> 00:34:18,855 You're not even gonna see it, not unless you're looking for it. 606 00:34:19,971 --> 00:34:22,390 Fine. But subtle. 607 00:34:25,226 --> 00:34:26,311 Ow! 608 00:34:26,394 --> 00:34:27,478 Oh, this hurts. 609 00:34:27,562 --> 00:34:30,148 Um, I need a distraction. 610 00:34:30,231 --> 00:34:34,402 Nope. That's not it at all. You need to do the opposite. 611 00:34:34,485 --> 00:34:37,072 You need to honor the pain. 612 00:34:37,155 --> 00:34:38,323 Really feel it. 613 00:34:38,406 --> 00:34:42,202 Tell yourself you're into it. It's your pain. 614 00:34:42,285 --> 00:34:43,619 I'm into it? 615 00:34:43,703 --> 00:34:47,123 Yeah, you're really into it. You own it. 616 00:34:49,334 --> 00:34:51,169 I'm gonna miss you. 617 00:34:51,752 --> 00:34:54,130 At least now you'll have something to remember me by. 618 00:34:58,134 --> 00:35:02,472 Something that both June and Joann don't realize. 619 00:35:02,555 --> 00:35:04,891 Hold on, ladies. Ladies. Okay. 620 00:35:04,975 --> 00:35:08,603 Sister, I got a favor to ask. Can I make a confession to you? 621 00:35:08,686 --> 00:35:10,771 Of sin or crime? 622 00:35:10,856 --> 00:35:14,359 Not that I'm qualified to handle either one. 623 00:35:14,442 --> 00:35:15,526 Sin. Guilt. 624 00:35:15,610 --> 00:35:17,278 How about I listen and advise? 625 00:35:18,113 --> 00:35:21,449 - You wanna wait till your show's over? - Oh, it's a repeat. Go ahead. 626 00:35:27,038 --> 00:35:30,750 Okay, so, I had a grudge against this person, 627 00:35:30,834 --> 00:35:33,253 and she got herself into some trouble. 628 00:35:33,336 --> 00:35:36,631 And I never spoke up 629 00:35:36,714 --> 00:35:40,927 and said, "Hey, she's not really dangerous!" 630 00:35:41,928 --> 00:35:43,847 It's never too late to do the right thing. 631 00:35:43,930 --> 00:35:47,642 It is... if she's already in Seg. 632 00:35:47,725 --> 00:35:49,602 Sophia's my friend, 633 00:35:49,685 --> 00:35:53,731 so forgive me if I have a hard time staying objective. 634 00:35:53,814 --> 00:35:57,152 It's this place. 635 00:35:59,154 --> 00:36:02,657 We're locked up, all of us in a cage. 636 00:36:03,741 --> 00:36:05,785 And it brings out, man... 637 00:36:05,869 --> 00:36:10,290 it brings out the worst, most selfish parts. 638 00:36:10,373 --> 00:36:11,582 It's this place. 639 00:36:11,666 --> 00:36:13,709 It's us. 640 00:36:13,793 --> 00:36:16,504 I didn't say anything either when they took Sophia to Seg. 641 00:36:18,298 --> 00:36:21,676 We fail, and God forgives us, but... 642 00:36:23,636 --> 00:36:27,933 I don't know if we can ever really... forgive each other... 643 00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:30,726 or ourselves. 644 00:36:30,810 --> 00:36:33,688 I guess you can say some Hail Marys. 645 00:36:33,771 --> 00:36:36,691 I don't know what else to tell you. It's all wrong. 646 00:36:38,859 --> 00:36:41,947 _ 647 00:36:42,030 --> 00:36:43,114 Shh! 648 00:36:49,412 --> 00:36:51,957 _ 649 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:53,708 _ 650 00:36:53,791 --> 00:36:56,711 _ 651 00:36:56,794 --> 00:36:58,421 _ 652 00:37:01,466 --> 00:37:03,259 Pretend like she ain't even here. 653 00:37:05,761 --> 00:37:06,887 Let's get you set up. 654 00:37:09,265 --> 00:37:12,685 - Okay. This may be a little cold. - Mmm. 655 00:37:16,022 --> 00:37:17,773 Okay. 656 00:37:24,948 --> 00:37:26,824 Everything's looking good. 657 00:37:27,908 --> 00:37:31,537 Heart's beating like a little hummingbird. 658 00:37:31,621 --> 00:37:32,705 And the... 659 00:37:37,002 --> 00:37:38,169 What happened? 660 00:37:38,253 --> 00:37:40,755 Uh, no, no. She's fine. It's just... 661 00:37:41,589 --> 00:37:43,133 she's a he. 662 00:37:43,216 --> 00:37:45,551 It's rare that we're wrong on that, but... 663 00:37:45,635 --> 00:37:47,387 _ 664 00:37:47,470 --> 00:37:49,930 I can see his little pee-pee right there! 665 00:37:57,313 --> 00:38:00,525 I still don't understand what I'm doing here. 666 00:38:00,608 --> 00:38:03,486 - You a part of my Beit Din. - Excuse me? 667 00:38:03,569 --> 00:38:05,280 I'm converting. 668 00:38:05,363 --> 00:38:06,781 Mmm-hmm. 669 00:38:06,864 --> 00:38:08,824 This here's Ginsberg. She's been helping me out. 670 00:38:08,908 --> 00:38:10,201 And that's Boyle. 671 00:38:10,285 --> 00:38:11,536 I know her name don't sound Jewish, 672 00:38:11,619 --> 00:38:15,498 but she Jewish on her mama's side, and her great-uncle died in the Holocaust, 673 00:38:15,581 --> 00:38:17,917 and she taught me the Hebrew alphabet for granola bars. 674 00:38:18,001 --> 00:38:21,296 So, I'm here to present my case. 675 00:38:21,379 --> 00:38:22,963 I'm here to ask three times 676 00:38:23,048 --> 00:38:25,800 and get told "No" and "No," and then "Yes," 677 00:38:25,883 --> 00:38:27,093 and then be a Jew. 678 00:38:27,177 --> 00:38:30,180 I'm here to take the name Tova, which means "good"... 679 00:38:31,139 --> 00:38:32,348 because it's all good now. 680 00:38:34,309 --> 00:38:36,269 I've been working for real, Rabbi. Try me. 681 00:38:36,352 --> 00:38:37,978 For serious! 682 00:38:38,063 --> 00:38:39,897 I'm ready to get my Jew on. 683 00:38:39,980 --> 00:38:43,818 And it ain't just about the food, although the more I been learnin', 684 00:38:43,901 --> 00:38:45,945 the food a big part of it, am I right? 685 00:38:46,029 --> 00:38:47,780 She's been really dedicated. 686 00:38:47,863 --> 00:38:50,325 Why she wants to go from being a hated minority 687 00:38:50,408 --> 00:38:54,537 to a double-hated minority is beyond me, but she's for real. 688 00:38:55,288 --> 00:38:57,373 We've been studying, arguing. 689 00:38:58,999 --> 00:39:03,546 Hey, uh, you wouldn't happen to be related to Aimee Tatelbaum, would you? 690 00:39:03,629 --> 00:39:05,173 She's my cousin. 691 00:39:05,256 --> 00:39:08,593 Oh, my God! We were at Penn together. 692 00:39:10,220 --> 00:39:12,972 Wait, Alan? Cousin Alan? 693 00:39:14,765 --> 00:39:18,603 I know some things about you. Oh, Alan. 694 00:39:18,686 --> 00:39:21,272 You'd better Beit Din this woman before I start to talk. 695 00:39:21,356 --> 00:39:24,067 - Well, Aimee's full of shit. - Oh, is she? 696 00:39:24,150 --> 00:39:27,403 Like the story about you and the Berkshires with Samantha Gottleib 697 00:39:27,487 --> 00:39:30,365 - and the mushrooms, that's bullshit? Yeah. - That's not... 698 00:39:30,448 --> 00:39:32,367 - Ask, Tova. Ask. - Mmm. Mmm-hmm. 699 00:39:32,450 --> 00:39:34,077 Hey. 700 00:39:35,245 --> 00:39:37,997 - Can I be a Jew? - No. 701 00:39:39,082 --> 00:39:41,041 Can I be a Jew? 702 00:39:41,126 --> 00:39:42,418 No. 703 00:39:45,588 --> 00:39:47,132 Can I be a Jew? 704 00:39:48,466 --> 00:39:49,800 You really want this? 705 00:39:50,593 --> 00:39:52,052 Sincerely? 706 00:39:52,137 --> 00:39:55,931 Not because this one's trying to blackmail me for something stupid when I was 19 707 00:39:56,015 --> 00:39:58,643 or for broccoli with your dinner? 708 00:39:58,726 --> 00:40:00,103 What is this for you? 709 00:40:05,441 --> 00:40:06,859 Honestly... 710 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:21,957 I think I found my people. 711 00:40:27,713 --> 00:40:30,508 I was raised in a church... 712 00:40:30,591 --> 00:40:33,636 where I was told to believe and pray. 713 00:40:35,471 --> 00:40:37,890 And if I was bad, I'd go to hell. 714 00:40:37,973 --> 00:40:40,643 If I was good, I'd go to heaven. 715 00:40:40,726 --> 00:40:44,730 And if I'd ask Jesus, he'd forgive me, and that was that. 716 00:40:44,814 --> 00:40:48,276 And here y'all saying ain't no hell... ain't... 717 00:40:49,569 --> 00:40:51,529 sure about heaven. 718 00:40:51,612 --> 00:40:56,075 And if you do something wrong, you got to figure it out yourself. 719 00:40:56,159 --> 00:40:58,369 And as far as God's concerned, 720 00:40:58,453 --> 00:41:04,124 it's your job to keep aksing questions and to keep learning and to keep arguing. 721 00:41:04,209 --> 00:41:08,754 It's like a verb. It's like... you do God. 722 00:41:10,923 --> 00:41:12,925 And that's a lot of work. 723 00:41:14,219 --> 00:41:18,055 But I think I'm in, at least as far as I can see it. 724 00:41:19,224 --> 00:41:20,600 I mean, maybe I'll learn more... 725 00:41:22,727 --> 00:41:24,729 and say, "Fuck the whole thing." 726 00:41:24,812 --> 00:41:30,025 I mean, but I wanna learn more, and I think I gotta be in it to do that. 727 00:41:30,109 --> 00:41:32,111 You know, does that make sense? 728 00:41:32,195 --> 00:41:34,572 Shit, did I just talk myself out of it? 729 00:41:38,158 --> 00:41:39,244 Fuck. 730 00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:46,209 Ask me again. 731 00:41:52,923 --> 00:41:54,842 - Can I be a Jew? - Yes. 732 00:41:54,925 --> 00:41:56,927 No, I need three answers. 733 00:41:57,011 --> 00:41:59,096 - Yes. - Yes. 734 00:42:01,349 --> 00:42:03,268 Yeah! 735 00:42:04,852 --> 00:42:08,188 Look at me now! I'm a bona fide jailhouse Jew! 736 00:42:09,189 --> 00:42:11,776 Sort of. It's not really official without the mikvah, 737 00:42:11,859 --> 00:42:14,904 but that was wonderful. Really, Tova. Congratulations. 738 00:42:14,987 --> 00:42:16,489 Hold up. Mik-what? 739 00:42:16,572 --> 00:42:18,241 Oh, it's like, um... 740 00:42:18,324 --> 00:42:20,951 It's like a baptism, but without all the touching. 741 00:42:21,035 --> 00:42:22,287 You soak in a pool 742 00:42:22,370 --> 00:42:25,915 and you clean off all that Christian filth that you've been carrying around. 743 00:42:27,124 --> 00:42:29,669 - We can fake that shit in the shower. - No, that won't count. 744 00:42:29,752 --> 00:42:32,338 The mikvah needs to be pure, naturally occurring water, 745 00:42:32,422 --> 00:42:34,882 and you need to be fully submerged, and nude. 746 00:42:34,965 --> 00:42:37,176 Yeah. Maybe it'll rain, okay? 747 00:42:37,260 --> 00:42:40,388 There'll be a sinkhole or something, and we'll make it official then. 748 00:42:40,471 --> 00:42:43,098 In the meantime, you are Jew-ish. 749 00:42:43,182 --> 00:42:44,183 Huh? 750 00:42:47,186 --> 00:42:50,481 Most holy, righteous, and everywhere-present God, 751 00:42:50,565 --> 00:42:55,653 our Father who art in Heaven, we ask thy blessing upon this food. 752 00:42:55,736 --> 00:42:58,823 Bless the hearts and the hands of those that provide the same, 753 00:42:58,906 --> 00:43:03,202 and when it is ours to pass from time to eternity... 754 00:43:07,582 --> 00:43:10,293 Do you know what awaits sinners like you, 755 00:43:10,376 --> 00:43:12,252 self-worshippers of the flesh? 756 00:43:12,337 --> 00:43:15,756 Do you know what is your Promised Land? 757 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:18,133 Answer me, Cindy! Do you know? 758 00:43:19,259 --> 00:43:24,432 Deuteronomy, chapter 29, verse 23, tells us about your Promised Land. 759 00:43:24,515 --> 00:43:26,809 Your land is brimstone and salt, 760 00:43:26,892 --> 00:43:30,145 a burning waste, unsown and unproductive, 761 00:43:30,229 --> 00:43:34,108 and no grass grows on it, like the overthrow of Sodom and Gomorrah. 762 00:43:34,191 --> 00:43:37,987 So thou must not sin! Amen! 763 00:43:38,070 --> 00:43:40,280 - Amen. - Say "amen"! 764 00:43:40,365 --> 00:43:43,493 Amen, amen, amen, amen. 765 00:43:47,663 --> 00:43:49,123 Maxwell said you wanted to see me? 766 00:43:49,206 --> 00:43:52,502 Yeah, Morello's getting married. She asked that you be the witness. 767 00:43:52,585 --> 00:43:55,170 Ah, I heard the happy news an hour ago. 768 00:43:55,254 --> 00:43:57,089 Oh, she's a rash girl. 769 00:43:57,172 --> 00:44:00,843 All heart and tits and no brain, hmm? 770 00:44:00,926 --> 00:44:02,762 Well, thanks for letting me know. 771 00:44:02,845 --> 00:44:05,848 I'll get started on my maid of honor speech. 772 00:44:05,931 --> 00:44:07,099 Can I ask you a question? 773 00:44:19,111 --> 00:44:24,534 You and I... have a special relationship. 774 00:44:24,617 --> 00:44:27,412 That's why I feel like I can ask you this question. 775 00:44:27,495 --> 00:44:30,456 Would you say that I'm bad at my job? 776 00:44:30,540 --> 00:44:33,918 Well, the very fact that we have a special relationship 777 00:44:34,001 --> 00:44:35,420 and that you acknowledge it 778 00:44:35,503 --> 00:44:38,673 should at least partially answer your question, Healy. 779 00:44:39,715 --> 00:44:42,385 But I'd be lying if I said it hasn't helped me. 780 00:44:43,052 --> 00:44:45,054 It has. 781 00:44:45,137 --> 00:44:48,558 Having a contemporary in here who isn't A, a woman, 782 00:44:48,641 --> 00:44:53,312 and B, a thieving, lying, crazy, murderous, drug-addled woman, 783 00:44:53,395 --> 00:44:55,565 has been a godsend. 784 00:44:55,648 --> 00:44:57,692 Are you good at your job? 785 00:44:57,775 --> 00:44:59,902 I don't know. 786 00:45:01,403 --> 00:45:05,365 But I know that you've helped me, and I'm grateful to you for it. 787 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:11,456 Can I go now that I've watered your ego flower? 788 00:45:11,539 --> 00:45:13,666 Yes. 789 00:45:15,918 --> 00:45:19,922 Your prison mistress gave you a prison tat. 790 00:45:20,005 --> 00:45:21,466 You are turning into a trope. 791 00:45:21,549 --> 00:45:24,760 - She's my business partner, with benefits. - Ah. 792 00:45:24,844 --> 00:45:27,722 She's getting out and wanted to give me something to remember her by. 793 00:45:27,805 --> 00:45:29,807 I was sad, so I let her. 794 00:45:29,890 --> 00:45:32,309 White ink, huh? 795 00:45:32,392 --> 00:45:36,313 That must be pretty intimidating to some of these girls, 796 00:45:36,396 --> 00:45:38,983 maybe under, like, a black light or something. 797 00:45:39,900 --> 00:45:42,152 - What does it say? - It says "Trust no bitch." 798 00:45:42,903 --> 00:45:46,365 And yes, as a matter of fact, the girls are scared shitless. 799 00:45:47,116 --> 00:45:48,117 Hmm. 800 00:45:48,951 --> 00:45:50,327 I'm quite gangsta. 801 00:45:52,830 --> 00:45:57,042 Oh, shit. What? 802 00:45:57,126 --> 00:46:00,129 I have to give you honesty, because that's how I need to live, 803 00:46:00,212 --> 00:46:01,255 in truth. 804 00:46:01,338 --> 00:46:02,923 What the fuck, Cal? 805 00:46:03,007 --> 00:46:05,968 Neri is selling extra panties on the side. 806 00:46:07,219 --> 00:46:08,638 What? No. 807 00:46:08,721 --> 00:46:10,055 - Yeah. - All wrong. 808 00:46:10,139 --> 00:46:11,473 And where's she getting people to wear them? 809 00:46:11,557 --> 00:46:16,812 Well, um, actually, we invented a miso-tuna-honey sauce 810 00:46:16,896 --> 00:46:19,774 that tastes quite delicious until you add the glue. 811 00:46:19,857 --> 00:46:23,235 You're diluting the brand. You have to get her to stop. 812 00:46:23,318 --> 00:46:25,445 Neri's knock-off prison panties aren't the problem. 813 00:46:25,530 --> 00:46:29,199 In fact, her questionable criminal ethics might actually offset the real problem. 814 00:46:29,283 --> 00:46:32,161 My job is to handle shit in here. Your job is to handle shit out there. 815 00:46:32,244 --> 00:46:36,331 Okay, Pipes, while I'm really proud of how evil prison has made you, 816 00:46:36,415 --> 00:46:38,584 I think you're overestimating your villain index. 817 00:46:38,668 --> 00:46:40,545 You're still transitioning. 818 00:46:40,628 --> 00:46:43,422 You know, you're not Walter White yet. You're... 819 00:46:43,505 --> 00:46:44,549 Walter White-ink. 820 00:46:44,632 --> 00:46:46,091 What are you talking about? 821 00:46:47,968 --> 00:46:49,469 Your money is gone. 822 00:46:50,512 --> 00:46:53,182 Somebody transferred all of your clam clams. 823 00:46:54,016 --> 00:46:55,935 - When? - This morning. 824 00:46:57,061 --> 00:46:58,896 Fucking Flaca! 825 00:47:22,753 --> 00:47:26,173 Was a time, Norma, you were good at making people feel safe... 826 00:47:26,924 --> 00:47:28,968 at peace and calm. 827 00:47:29,051 --> 00:47:31,679 Then you let this cave troll turn it into a cult. 828 00:47:31,762 --> 00:47:34,306 Hey, we're toasting Norma here. It's our new thing. 829 00:47:34,389 --> 00:47:37,059 Brook Soso tried to kill herself. 830 00:47:37,142 --> 00:47:39,144 She needed help, and you pushed her away. 831 00:47:39,228 --> 00:47:41,772 As far as I'm concerned, that makes you an accessory. 832 00:47:41,856 --> 00:47:44,108 - What the fuck? - You better back up off 833 00:47:44,191 --> 00:47:47,444 before I smash those shit-stained Chiclets you call teeth down your throat! 834 00:47:50,990 --> 00:47:53,283 Look at all of y'all. 835 00:47:53,367 --> 00:47:57,037 The whole point of being here was to escape our shitty reality. 836 00:47:57,121 --> 00:48:00,207 What, and now you're worshipping a piece of toast? 837 00:48:03,127 --> 00:48:05,755 You know, you actually had me believing in miracles. 838 00:48:06,881 --> 00:48:10,009 But now I know miracles ain't real, and you ain't shit. 839 00:48:13,053 --> 00:48:14,513 Okay, it's fine. It's okay. 840 00:48:14,596 --> 00:48:16,473 It's okay. 841 00:48:16,556 --> 00:48:20,227 Would you stop it? It's fine. 842 00:48:21,395 --> 00:48:24,481 Norma Toast is safe. We're good. 843 00:48:26,150 --> 00:48:27,735 Back to it. 844 00:48:29,319 --> 00:48:31,989 ... and so then I woke up in the laundry room. 845 00:48:32,072 --> 00:48:34,784 It was so weird. 846 00:48:34,867 --> 00:48:37,577 Maybe I was gonna wash my pants, and I fell asleep. 847 00:48:38,663 --> 00:48:41,749 I think I need to start taking vitamins, or... 848 00:48:41,832 --> 00:48:44,752 stop taking Ambien. Something. 849 00:48:45,753 --> 00:48:48,964 Ooh, there's... There's an underpass down Broad Street. 850 00:48:49,048 --> 00:48:51,759 It's a good spot. Take a left up here. 851 00:48:51,842 --> 00:48:53,302 I don't feel very good. 852 00:48:53,385 --> 00:48:55,095 It's all right, I'll make you feel better. 853 00:48:55,179 --> 00:48:57,639 No, my, my head. It's, like, it's banging right now. 854 00:48:57,723 --> 00:48:59,224 It must be my lady time. 855 00:48:59,308 --> 00:49:02,019 Ain't nothing sexy about that. 856 00:49:02,978 --> 00:49:05,230 It doesn't bother me. I kind of like it. 857 00:49:06,481 --> 00:49:09,443 Right here. Take this left, right here. 858 00:49:09,526 --> 00:49:11,779 Hey, what are you doing? I told you to make that left. 859 00:49:11,862 --> 00:49:13,488 What's the matter with you? You want... 860 00:49:13,572 --> 00:49:14,656 You want me to get a little rough? 861 00:49:14,740 --> 00:49:17,242 Is that it? A little roleplay? You into that? 862 00:49:19,286 --> 00:49:21,872 Something's really wrong, like, 863 00:49:21,956 --> 00:49:24,709 like my Nancy Grace ears catnip. 864 00:49:24,792 --> 00:49:27,044 - What? - Yes, something's... 865 00:49:27,127 --> 00:49:30,005 It's like my Nancy Grace ears catnip bluegrass funeral. 866 00:49:30,089 --> 00:49:32,424 Tiff, are you okay? What's the matter with you? 867 00:49:32,507 --> 00:49:33,843 Nancy Grace ears. I can't... 868 00:49:35,010 --> 00:49:36,804 Shit! 869 00:49:36,887 --> 00:49:38,180 Ahh! 870 00:49:46,856 --> 00:49:48,440 What the fuck is that noise? 871 00:49:48,523 --> 00:49:51,193 Is that real, or are you doing it 'cause you think it's a turn-on? 872 00:49:51,276 --> 00:49:52,903 - Is that your fucking excuse? - Oh, fuck. 873 00:49:54,613 --> 00:49:56,741 - Fuck. - The fuck. 874 00:49:57,783 --> 00:49:59,659 You've got to be fucking kidding me. 875 00:50:00,828 --> 00:50:02,121 Oh. 876 00:50:02,204 --> 00:50:04,248 What, are you gonna start crying now? 877 00:50:04,331 --> 00:50:06,792 My dick must have finally realized who you are. 878 00:50:06,876 --> 00:50:07,877 I did not think 879 00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:11,338 one man could possibly have more self-loathing than you already did. 880 00:50:11,421 --> 00:50:12,840 You must be loving this. 881 00:50:14,258 --> 00:50:16,301 Why are you here? Why do you keep coming here? 882 00:50:16,385 --> 00:50:18,012 "Coming" is the operative word, 883 00:50:18,095 --> 00:50:20,347 which obviously isn't happening tonight, so... 884 00:50:20,430 --> 00:50:22,057 Natalie, wait. Wait a second. 885 00:50:22,141 --> 00:50:25,102 "Natalie"? Jesus fucking Christ. 886 00:50:25,185 --> 00:50:27,772 I'm here because you're a good lay, 887 00:50:27,855 --> 00:50:30,816 and I relish the fact that you hate me 888 00:50:30,900 --> 00:50:32,526 but you can't resist me. 889 00:50:32,609 --> 00:50:36,321 Don't worry. I still loathe you, Fig. 890 00:50:36,405 --> 00:50:37,406 Oh, good. 891 00:50:37,489 --> 00:50:39,324 But you're, uh... 892 00:50:39,408 --> 00:50:41,451 I'm not really close to anyone right now. 893 00:50:41,535 --> 00:50:44,997 Do you have any idea how pathetic you are, weirdo? 894 00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:47,457 Yes, actually, I do. 895 00:50:47,541 --> 00:50:50,585 I work for a sleazebag corporation, 896 00:50:50,669 --> 00:50:54,673 and I am hate-fucking a dead-eyed, anorexic crone... 897 00:50:56,175 --> 00:50:57,802 who's the only person I can talk to. 898 00:50:58,718 --> 00:51:00,554 I'm living my worst nightmare. 899 00:51:01,596 --> 00:51:03,808 Then channel your inner Freddy Krueger 900 00:51:03,891 --> 00:51:07,394 and grab life by the balls with your big, bladed fingers. 901 00:51:08,228 --> 00:51:11,065 Pearson quit over this Burset thing. 902 00:51:11,148 --> 00:51:13,275 - I should too, but... - Wait. Wait, wait, wait. 903 00:51:13,358 --> 00:51:15,360 Pearson quit? 904 00:51:15,444 --> 00:51:17,779 You have the chance for a promotion, and you're going limp? 905 00:51:17,863 --> 00:51:21,366 Even if I wanted his job, and I don't, it's a lateral move. 906 00:51:21,450 --> 00:51:23,160 A lateral move with more pay? 907 00:51:23,243 --> 00:51:25,913 Yes. It's a promotion. 908 00:51:27,539 --> 00:51:30,835 But I'm not gonna capitalize on Burset. I'm gonna fight for her. 909 00:51:30,918 --> 00:51:31,961 Why? 910 00:51:32,044 --> 00:51:34,671 Because I wear protection, so I haven't caught 911 00:51:34,754 --> 00:51:38,008 whatever form of syphilis you have that caused your soul to rot. 912 00:51:38,092 --> 00:51:40,677 No, really. Why? 913 00:51:41,303 --> 00:51:43,347 You keep on martyring yourself for these people, and why? 914 00:51:43,430 --> 00:51:46,683 Has anyone ever thanked you for saving the prison? 915 00:51:47,434 --> 00:51:49,436 Just the people who are now profiting from it. 916 00:51:49,519 --> 00:51:53,773 Well, maybe those are the people you should be sticking your neck out for. 917 00:51:53,858 --> 00:51:56,110 Do what you have to do, 918 00:51:56,193 --> 00:51:59,696 or you're the one who gets fucked in the ass. 919 00:52:01,866 --> 00:52:03,283 Speaking of which... 920 00:52:09,498 --> 00:52:11,291 You're so disgusting. 921 00:52:30,352 --> 00:52:31,520 Hey. 922 00:52:33,063 --> 00:52:35,565 I heard about your mother. 923 00:52:35,649 --> 00:52:37,985 Yeah. Thanks. 924 00:52:39,736 --> 00:52:40,737 You two good? 925 00:52:40,820 --> 00:52:42,239 What's that supposed to mean? 926 00:52:45,117 --> 00:52:46,410 You know what? 927 00:52:46,493 --> 00:52:49,121 Let's say our prayers and go on with our days. 928 00:52:49,204 --> 00:52:50,789 That sounds good to you, little girl? 929 00:52:50,872 --> 00:52:53,083 - I ain't your little girl. - Oh, I know that. 930 00:52:54,126 --> 00:52:56,211 You don't need nobody. I got it. 931 00:52:56,295 --> 00:52:58,172 Certainly don't need people who don't got my back. 932 00:52:58,255 --> 00:52:59,589 Well, maybe people would have your back 933 00:52:59,673 --> 00:53:01,800 if they knew you weren't gonna turn it on them. 934 00:53:04,469 --> 00:53:07,764 Hey, Gonzales. You took my money? 935 00:53:07,847 --> 00:53:10,100 - What? - You wanna fuck with me? 936 00:53:10,184 --> 00:53:12,561 You need to step back right now, 937 00:53:12,644 --> 00:53:14,396 or you gonna lay back, bitch. 938 00:53:14,479 --> 00:53:17,399 I don't care what she did, what you think she did. 939 00:53:17,482 --> 00:53:19,484 You don't get to come here and push, 940 00:53:19,568 --> 00:53:21,486 or you're gonna get pushed. 941 00:53:21,570 --> 00:53:25,490 She saw me this morning in the library, conducting business. 942 00:53:25,574 --> 00:53:27,952 All I saw you was reading that stupid butter-bones book, 943 00:53:28,035 --> 00:53:30,037 and I told you it was bad science. What are you talking about? 944 00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:32,039 You made up a story about your sick mom 945 00:53:32,122 --> 00:53:33,457 so that I would let you back in. 946 00:53:33,540 --> 00:53:36,876 Her mother is sick, idiot. 947 00:53:36,961 --> 00:53:39,296 And why you think she's in here on her knees? 948 00:53:39,379 --> 00:53:41,006 Huh, what's the matter with you? 949 00:53:43,842 --> 00:53:44,843 Well, good. 950 00:53:45,885 --> 00:53:47,179 I mean, not good that she's sick, 951 00:53:47,262 --> 00:53:49,348 but good that you weren't lying, 952 00:53:49,431 --> 00:53:51,350 and I hope that she feels better, 953 00:53:51,433 --> 00:53:54,603 and I hope that you both know not to mess with me. 954 00:54:29,804 --> 00:54:32,099 Angie ate Toast Norma. 955 00:54:33,975 --> 00:54:37,229 She thought it would give her powers or some stupid shit, 956 00:54:37,312 --> 00:54:41,816 and I didn't stop her because the people believed the stupid, black dyke 957 00:54:41,900 --> 00:54:44,944 who listened to that stupid, yellow chink. 958 00:54:45,612 --> 00:54:48,615 I mean "yellow" both racially and as a chicken-shit. 959 00:54:48,698 --> 00:54:50,492 Only chicken-shits try to kill themselves. 960 00:54:52,911 --> 00:54:55,622 I know you're upset about the toast. 961 00:54:55,705 --> 00:54:57,416 It was a bad idea. 962 00:55:01,753 --> 00:55:03,672 Norma, I still believe in you. 963 00:55:05,465 --> 00:55:08,552 Don't do this to me, please. 964 00:55:10,304 --> 00:55:12,181 You need me. 965 00:55:12,722 --> 00:55:14,058 I need you. 966 00:55:15,100 --> 00:55:16,518 We made miracles. 967 00:55:17,186 --> 00:55:18,353 No. 968 00:55:36,455 --> 00:55:38,415 It's just a scratch. 969 00:55:38,498 --> 00:55:41,000 - They'll probably just buff that out. - It's not a scratch, man. 970 00:55:41,085 --> 00:55:44,003 Huh. You okay? What'd the doc say? 971 00:55:44,088 --> 00:55:47,006 I told him all about the word soup and white eyeballs. 972 00:55:47,757 --> 00:55:49,634 - And? - And, you know, 973 00:55:49,718 --> 00:55:53,972 even though it's probably just a one-time, freak thing... 974 00:55:54,889 --> 00:55:56,975 I ain't fit to be the van girl no more. 975 00:56:02,647 --> 00:56:04,858 Who knew cousin Sandy's epilepsy 976 00:56:04,941 --> 00:56:07,277 would one day save your hillbilly prison soul? 977 00:56:07,361 --> 00:56:09,070 You're a really good teacher. 978 00:56:09,154 --> 00:56:11,573 Yeah, and you, apparently, are a fine actress. 979 00:56:13,658 --> 00:56:15,327 All he gets is a bandage over his eye. 980 00:56:15,410 --> 00:56:17,621 Yeah, but he bled a lot. 981 00:56:17,704 --> 00:56:19,080 Not out of his butt. 982 00:56:19,831 --> 00:56:21,916 Still, I consider that a win. 983 00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:23,042 Yeah. 984 00:56:23,127 --> 00:56:24,878 We need you over here. 985 00:56:24,961 --> 00:56:27,506 Hi, it's Maritza. 986 00:56:27,589 --> 00:56:30,049 Aw, shit. 987 00:56:38,517 --> 00:56:39,518 Ah, shit. 988 00:56:56,493 --> 00:56:57,952 Miss Black? 989 00:56:58,036 --> 00:57:00,372 Your heart was in a dangerous arrhythmia. 990 00:57:00,455 --> 00:57:02,541 We were able to shock it back to sinus rhythm. 991 00:57:02,624 --> 00:57:03,667 You're gonna be fine. 992 00:57:05,294 --> 00:57:07,171 There's no God. 993 00:57:08,672 --> 00:57:10,257 There's nothing. 994 00:57:14,886 --> 00:57:16,012 How's the tat feeling? 995 00:57:16,095 --> 00:57:18,056 It's burning. 996 00:57:18,140 --> 00:57:19,808 Searing, even. 997 00:57:19,891 --> 00:57:22,686 It looks okay. Doesn't look infected or anything. 998 00:57:22,769 --> 00:57:24,938 It must be the irony, then. 999 00:57:25,021 --> 00:57:27,106 "Trust no bitch." 1000 00:57:27,191 --> 00:57:28,483 I don't get it. 1001 00:57:28,567 --> 00:57:31,695 You and Alex are the only people who know where that phone is... 1002 00:57:32,321 --> 00:57:33,322 and maybe Flaca, 1003 00:57:33,405 --> 00:57:34,614 but I really don't think so. 1004 00:57:34,698 --> 00:57:36,741 And neither one of them are getting out in two days. 1005 00:57:38,785 --> 00:57:41,120 You fucked me, Stella. 1006 00:57:41,205 --> 00:57:42,456 I'm panicking, Piper. 1007 00:57:42,539 --> 00:57:44,749 Oh, so you decide to steal from me? 1008 00:57:44,833 --> 00:57:47,211 I have no family, no friends and $20. 1009 00:57:47,294 --> 00:57:48,920 That doesn't even get me one night in a motel. 1010 00:57:49,003 --> 00:57:50,129 It'll pay for an hour, 1011 00:57:50,214 --> 00:57:53,258 which is plenty of time to use your hot tits and your pretty, little lying face 1012 00:57:53,342 --> 00:57:55,219 to lure in a sucker and rob him blind. 1013 00:57:55,302 --> 00:57:57,637 What's going on with The L Word over there? 1014 00:57:57,721 --> 00:58:00,474 Thunder from Down Under been necking with somebody else? 1015 00:58:00,557 --> 00:58:04,228 Nah, Chapman's been accusing people of stealing her money. 1016 00:58:04,311 --> 00:58:05,770 Oh, that bitch guilty. 1017 00:58:05,854 --> 00:58:08,106 - How do you know? - She desperate. 1018 00:58:08,190 --> 00:58:10,484 I hit her up to see what she was gonna leave me in her prison will, 1019 00:58:10,567 --> 00:58:12,361 - and she taking everything. - Ooh. 1020 00:58:12,444 --> 00:58:14,028 She even taking the Maxi Pads. 1021 00:58:14,112 --> 00:58:17,574 Man, Chapman came at me ready to bash my skull in, 1022 00:58:17,657 --> 00:58:19,826 but she gonna let her off the hook? 1023 00:58:19,909 --> 00:58:21,578 It pays to hump the boss. 1024 00:58:22,454 --> 00:58:26,250 She let you come back and let the kangaroo rob her blind? 1025 00:58:26,333 --> 00:58:28,543 Girls, this is good news. 1026 00:58:28,627 --> 00:58:30,670 She'll gum you, but the boss got no teeth. 1027 00:58:30,754 --> 00:58:32,631 I'm gonna ask for more money. 1028 00:58:32,714 --> 00:58:35,800 She gonna donate to the Foster's, she can donate to Colt 45. 1029 00:58:36,718 --> 00:58:39,846 Or should I be saying "Manischewitz" now? 1030 00:58:40,847 --> 00:58:45,101 You could have asked me instead of burgling me. 1031 00:58:45,184 --> 00:58:48,688 I'm asking you now... to understand. 1032 00:58:48,772 --> 00:58:50,315 Of course I understand. 1033 00:58:50,399 --> 00:58:54,736 Your situation is going to be my situation in the next six to 12 months, 1034 00:58:54,819 --> 00:58:58,323 which is why I started Felonious Spunk in the first place. 1035 00:58:58,407 --> 00:59:00,116 To take money from perverts, 1036 00:59:00,199 --> 00:59:02,286 not from people that I pretend to care about. 1037 00:59:02,369 --> 00:59:04,371 I do care! Don't you? 1038 00:59:05,955 --> 00:59:09,501 I'm going to make this up to you. I promise. 1039 00:59:17,342 --> 00:59:20,178 And as groom and bride prepared for this ceremony, 1040 00:59:20,262 --> 00:59:23,348 they reflected on what it is that brought them here today, 1041 00:59:23,432 --> 00:59:26,476 ready to commit their lives to one another. 1042 00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:28,687 You have your vows, yes? 1043 00:59:28,770 --> 00:59:30,229 Groom goes first. 1044 00:59:33,317 --> 00:59:34,734 "Lorna, 1045 00:59:34,818 --> 00:59:38,405 I cannot believe we are doing this. 1046 00:59:38,488 --> 00:59:40,657 In fact, I think we might be crazy. 1047 00:59:40,740 --> 00:59:43,743 But we are crazy together. 1048 00:59:43,827 --> 00:59:45,662 We fit, and we match 1049 00:59:45,745 --> 00:59:47,914 and I think you are beautiful... 1050 00:59:48,832 --> 00:59:50,083 and you make me feel tall. 1051 00:59:50,166 --> 00:59:52,711 And I love your heart." 1052 00:59:53,337 --> 00:59:54,546 You're good, Lorna. 1053 00:59:55,672 --> 00:59:59,718 "I cannot wait to spend every day that I am allowed to with you, 1054 00:59:59,801 --> 01:00:02,804 and then when you are out, just every day." 1055 01:00:05,807 --> 01:00:07,100 Vince... 1056 01:00:08,184 --> 01:00:11,355 I'm just so happy and honored 1057 01:00:11,438 --> 01:00:14,649 to be Lorna Muccio. 1058 01:00:14,733 --> 01:00:18,194 And for that, I thank you very much-io. 1059 01:00:20,489 --> 01:00:23,157 I'm not a great writer like you, so... 1060 01:00:23,241 --> 01:00:25,369 I have a poem to read. 1061 01:00:27,454 --> 01:00:31,458 "In my life, there's been heartache and pain. 1062 01:00:31,541 --> 01:00:34,794 I don't know if I can face it again. 1063 01:00:35,629 --> 01:00:38,507 Can't stop now, 1064 01:00:38,590 --> 01:00:40,675 I've traveled so far 1065 01:00:40,759 --> 01:00:43,887 to change this lonely life. 1066 01:00:46,264 --> 01:00:49,351 I want to know what love is. 1067 01:00:50,644 --> 01:00:53,438 I want you to show me. 1068 01:00:54,356 --> 01:00:56,900 I want to feel what love is. 1069 01:00:58,109 --> 01:00:59,569 I know you can show me." 1070 01:01:00,737 --> 01:01:02,822 Foreigner, my favorite band. 1071 01:01:02,906 --> 01:01:04,282 I knew it! 1072 01:01:05,283 --> 01:01:07,577 - Beautiful. - Yeah. 1073 01:01:07,661 --> 01:01:09,203 And now the rings. 1074 01:01:09,954 --> 01:01:10,955 Vince, 1075 01:01:11,039 --> 01:01:14,376 place your ring on Lorna's finger and repeat after me. 1076 01:01:14,459 --> 01:01:15,502 Oh. 1077 01:01:15,585 --> 01:01:19,005 "Through this ring, I, Vincent Muccio, 1078 01:01:19,088 --> 01:01:24,177 accept you, Lorna Morello, as my wife, now and for all time." 1079 01:01:24,260 --> 01:01:26,220 Through this ring, 1080 01:01:26,304 --> 01:01:27,972 I, Vincent Muccio, 1081 01:01:28,056 --> 01:01:30,892 accept you, Lorna Morello, as my wife, 1082 01:01:30,975 --> 01:01:33,520 now and for all time. 1083 01:01:35,855 --> 01:01:38,066 And now, Lorna, place your ring on Vincent's finger. 1084 01:01:38,149 --> 01:01:41,360 This is so beautiful. This is why I don't wanna elope. 1085 01:01:41,445 --> 01:01:44,406 I can't cry like this in front of my mother. 1086 01:01:46,157 --> 01:01:48,535 Oh, shit, I missed her putting on the ring. 1087 01:01:48,618 --> 01:01:50,203 Get the kiss, you big galoot. 1088 01:01:50,286 --> 01:01:51,996 Through this ring, 1089 01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,373 I, Lorna Morello, 1090 01:01:54,458 --> 01:01:58,169 accept you, Vincent Muccio, 1091 01:01:58,252 --> 01:02:02,674 as my husband, now and forever. 1092 01:02:04,175 --> 01:02:05,427 Now, normally, at this point, 1093 01:02:05,510 --> 01:02:07,554 I would have you both light the unity candle, 1094 01:02:07,637 --> 01:02:10,974 but prison restrictions on open flames won't allow it. 1095 01:02:11,057 --> 01:02:13,101 Plus, our bride is wearing paper. 1096 01:02:13,184 --> 01:02:15,687 So instead, I will urge you 1097 01:02:15,770 --> 01:02:17,939 to gaze into each other's eyes 1098 01:02:18,022 --> 01:02:20,358 and light the fire within. 1099 01:02:21,443 --> 01:02:22,569 As you do... 1100 01:02:23,361 --> 01:02:27,281 by the power vested in me by the state of New York, 1101 01:02:27,365 --> 01:02:31,369 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 1102 01:02:31,453 --> 01:02:33,204 You may kiss the bride! 1103 01:02:33,287 --> 01:02:34,498 Oh, my goodness! 1104 01:02:41,838 --> 01:02:44,674 Ah, they make a beautiful couple, absolutely beautiful. 1105 01:02:51,430 --> 01:02:54,518 Okay, you two can spend an hour in here together. 1106 01:02:54,601 --> 01:02:55,727 Bell will stay with you. 1107 01:02:55,810 --> 01:02:56,811 Uh, here? 1108 01:02:57,395 --> 01:03:00,148 You don't have a trailer or somethin' a little more private, alone? 1109 01:03:00,231 --> 01:03:02,441 There's no conjugal visits in Federal. 1110 01:03:03,317 --> 01:03:04,443 I'm sorry. 1111 01:03:08,447 --> 01:03:11,117 - Yes! Husband, yes! - Yeah! 1112 01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:13,161 Fuck yeah, wife! 1113 01:03:13,244 --> 01:03:15,747 Consummate this marriage! 1114 01:03:15,830 --> 01:03:18,207 Consummating the shit out of you, babe! 1115 01:03:22,295 --> 01:03:24,338 Yeah, yeah. 1116 01:03:24,422 --> 01:03:25,423 Young love... 1117 01:03:25,507 --> 01:03:28,552 they have no idea what they're in for. 1118 01:03:28,635 --> 01:03:30,178 It doesn't always end badly. 1119 01:03:30,261 --> 01:03:33,014 Oh, said the man whose wife sleeps in her mother's bed 1120 01:03:33,097 --> 01:03:38,102 to the prisoner whose brand-new divorce certificate is her most prized possession. 1121 01:03:38,186 --> 01:03:40,814 You gotta believe in something. Why not love? 1122 01:03:40,897 --> 01:03:43,817 Because "happily ever after" was invented for the storybooks, 1123 01:03:43,900 --> 01:03:47,320 so kids reach breeding age without killing themselves. 1124 01:03:47,403 --> 01:03:51,533 So, love is the lie we tell ourselves so we don't go extinct? 1125 01:03:51,616 --> 01:03:53,952 That's pretty bleak, Red, even for you. 1126 01:03:54,035 --> 01:03:57,288 Oh, and you caught me on a glass-half-full day. 1127 01:03:57,371 --> 01:03:59,082 So, you don't think 1128 01:03:59,165 --> 01:04:02,376 there's someone out there you're meant to be with? 1129 01:04:04,212 --> 01:04:05,630 Of course I do. 1130 01:04:06,923 --> 01:04:08,507 Everybody has a soul mate. 1131 01:04:08,592 --> 01:04:12,178 But they're usually on the other side of the bars, or the wall, 1132 01:04:12,261 --> 01:04:14,472 or the planet from you. 1133 01:04:15,682 --> 01:04:17,433 That's the way the universe works. 1134 01:04:17,516 --> 01:04:20,019 You're not gonna be in prison forever. 1135 01:04:21,813 --> 01:04:23,565 You got a future to think about. 1136 01:04:24,774 --> 01:04:26,901 Our ships passed too late in the night 1137 01:04:26,985 --> 01:04:30,196 for one of them to change course, Sam. 1138 01:04:49,633 --> 01:04:50,967 Father! 1139 01:04:52,260 --> 01:04:54,596 Father! 1140 01:04:54,679 --> 01:04:56,806 Father! 1141 01:05:01,811 --> 01:05:04,773 God, please help my mother. 1142 01:05:10,153 --> 01:05:11,445 Father? 1143 01:05:11,529 --> 01:05:13,114 My mom is sick again. 1144 01:05:15,617 --> 01:05:16,618 Jesus? 1145 01:05:19,663 --> 01:05:20,705 Ahh! 1146 01:05:20,789 --> 01:05:24,626 Help me, please! Somebody, please! He smells! 1147 01:05:24,709 --> 01:05:29,338 Oh, gross! Get the fuck off of me! 1148 01:05:36,846 --> 01:05:40,224 I've rewritten this at least ten times. 1149 01:05:43,311 --> 01:05:45,146 I don't know what to say. 1150 01:05:51,695 --> 01:05:53,446 I feel like you're saving my life. 1151 01:05:56,199 --> 01:05:57,616 I came to say goodbye. 1152 01:05:58,534 --> 01:06:01,120 Well, I still have a few more days. 1153 01:06:02,621 --> 01:06:04,040 Clear the bunk. 1154 01:06:10,254 --> 01:06:11,339 Not you. 1155 01:06:11,422 --> 01:06:12,882 We have reports of contraband. 1156 01:06:12,966 --> 01:06:14,633 I haven't got anything. I'm getting out in two days. 1157 01:06:14,718 --> 01:06:16,219 Well, hopefully you've given everything away, then. 1158 01:06:16,302 --> 01:06:17,386 Well... 1159 01:06:24,477 --> 01:06:26,354 - Found a lighter. - That's not mine. 1160 01:06:28,690 --> 01:06:30,274 Marijuana cigarettes? 1161 01:06:30,358 --> 01:06:32,026 Wait, wait... 1162 01:06:32,110 --> 01:06:34,153 Cigarette cigarettes. 1163 01:06:34,237 --> 01:06:35,822 This isn't even my stuff. 1164 01:06:35,905 --> 01:06:37,573 It can't be! 1165 01:06:38,574 --> 01:06:39,617 Ugh! 1166 01:06:39,701 --> 01:06:41,529 Where'd you get illegal chicken from, inmate? 1167 01:06:41,577 --> 01:06:42,578 What? 1168 01:06:43,496 --> 01:06:46,624 Bayley, check out this candy shiv. 1169 01:06:46,708 --> 01:06:48,001 How cool is that? 1170 01:06:49,627 --> 01:06:51,462 I mean... 1171 01:06:51,545 --> 01:06:53,589 this is a deadly weapon. 1172 01:06:53,672 --> 01:06:55,842 You are so going to Max, inmate. 1173 01:07:15,779 --> 01:07:17,696 Sorry about your dildo, Boo. 1174 01:07:17,781 --> 01:07:22,035 Cost of doing business. I'll make it up to you. 1175 01:07:22,118 --> 01:07:25,538 Damn, Chapman. That is some stone-cold shit. 1176 01:07:25,621 --> 01:07:29,417 I don't fuck around. Let the people know. 1177 01:07:32,796 --> 01:07:36,424 I'm hoping this voluntary organizing meeting is, uh, code for 1178 01:07:36,507 --> 01:07:38,384 "our union petition has been accepted." 1179 01:07:38,467 --> 01:07:42,180 Maybe he just wants us to pull together our official list of demands. 1180 01:07:42,263 --> 01:07:45,141 I think the prison should issue us socks and underwear, 1181 01:07:45,224 --> 01:07:46,225 not just outerwear. 1182 01:07:46,309 --> 01:07:48,311 I want them to pay my college loans. 1183 01:07:48,394 --> 01:07:49,728 You went to college, and you're working here? 1184 01:07:49,813 --> 01:07:53,316 Associate's degree, Justice Admin, DeVry. 1185 01:07:53,942 --> 01:07:56,527 Here he is, the white Cesar Chavez. 1186 01:07:56,610 --> 01:08:00,907 Today, as you know, is a very big day. So, let's make this quick. 1187 01:08:00,990 --> 01:08:03,785 We hear Pearson's out. Are you next? Are they union-busting? 1188 01:08:03,868 --> 01:08:06,662 Or did our petition go through and he got canned for not stopping it? 1189 01:08:06,745 --> 01:08:08,081 Pearson quit. 1190 01:08:08,998 --> 01:08:11,084 There's a new Director of Human Activity. 1191 01:08:13,711 --> 01:08:14,796 It's you, isn't it? 1192 01:08:15,964 --> 01:08:17,548 Everyone has the right to unionize. 1193 01:08:17,631 --> 01:08:19,258 Shit. Motherfucking shit. 1194 01:08:19,342 --> 01:08:21,803 But I have access to budgets now. 1195 01:08:21,886 --> 01:08:26,265 And all that noise about the whole shebang coming crashing down 1196 01:08:26,349 --> 01:08:28,476 if MCC starts covering benefits, 1197 01:08:28,559 --> 01:08:30,228 it is 100% true. 1198 01:08:30,311 --> 01:08:32,230 They must have given you a pretty good pay raise. 1199 01:08:32,313 --> 01:08:34,232 Yeah, like 30 pieces of silver. 1200 01:08:35,900 --> 01:08:37,610 I have done nothing... 1201 01:08:38,527 --> 01:08:42,240 but save your asses since this prison was scheduled to close. 1202 01:08:43,491 --> 01:08:45,743 You're goddamn right. 1203 01:08:45,827 --> 01:08:47,578 It was a pretty good pay raise. 1204 01:08:47,661 --> 01:08:51,582 And any one of you ungrateful, selfish sons of bitches 1205 01:08:51,665 --> 01:08:55,544 would have thrown me under the bus and run me over to get the same. 1206 01:08:55,628 --> 01:08:58,214 Well, guess what? It's my turn. 1207 01:08:59,132 --> 01:09:00,216 It's the year of Caputo. 1208 01:09:00,299 --> 01:09:03,302 You know, we had a union captain once 1209 01:09:03,386 --> 01:09:07,681 who told us that the corporation would call an optional meeting 1210 01:09:07,765 --> 01:09:10,101 and then try to scare us out of unionizing. 1211 01:09:10,184 --> 01:09:11,227 I remember that. 1212 01:09:11,310 --> 01:09:13,604 He said, "When they did that, we should say," 1213 01:09:13,687 --> 01:09:15,899 and I am paraphrasing... 1214 01:09:15,982 --> 01:09:16,983 "Fuck you!" 1215 01:09:17,066 --> 01:09:18,734 That's right, because he said, 1216 01:09:18,817 --> 01:09:21,195 "The company needs you more than you need them." 1217 01:09:21,279 --> 01:09:23,489 Now I've seen things from the inside, 1218 01:09:24,157 --> 01:09:25,241 and I stand corrected. 1219 01:09:25,324 --> 01:09:26,910 You're all replaceable. 1220 01:09:27,576 --> 01:09:28,827 Not today, we're not. 1221 01:09:29,495 --> 01:09:32,081 I'd say today of all days, 1222 01:09:32,165 --> 01:09:35,459 the company still needs us pretty damn bad. 1223 01:09:35,543 --> 01:09:39,380 Yeah, I'm gonna go with my old captain on this one. 1224 01:09:41,590 --> 01:09:42,633 Fuck you. 1225 01:09:48,639 --> 01:09:50,516 It ain't right, Mr. Caputo. 1226 01:09:53,269 --> 01:09:54,853 It ain't right. 1227 01:10:15,666 --> 01:10:17,751 Good luck letting the monkeys run the zoo. 1228 01:10:28,387 --> 01:10:32,141 All right, all tools are present and accounted for. 1229 01:10:36,854 --> 01:10:39,857 All good. Thanks, ladies. 1230 01:10:39,941 --> 01:10:42,651 Oh, wait, wait. Hold up. Someone needs to sweep. 1231 01:10:43,569 --> 01:10:45,404 - Not me. - No way. 1232 01:10:45,488 --> 01:10:48,699 Fine. I'll do it. But you guys owe me. 1233 01:10:49,408 --> 01:10:50,409 Okay. 1234 01:10:50,493 --> 01:10:51,942 Thank you, Vause. I'm gonna walk them over. 1235 01:10:51,995 --> 01:10:55,081 Yeah, yeah, I'll just be here, sweeping like Cinderella. 1236 01:11:05,424 --> 01:11:07,135 Well, that was quick. 1237 01:11:11,055 --> 01:11:12,056 Aydin. 1238 01:11:13,057 --> 01:11:14,100 How... 1239 01:11:14,183 --> 01:11:16,644 This place would hire Forrest fucking Gump. 1240 01:11:16,727 --> 01:11:18,141 The guy who interviewed me was so relieved 1241 01:11:18,146 --> 01:11:20,856 to find someone who's actually qualified. 1242 01:11:23,234 --> 01:11:25,153 You don't have to do this. 1243 01:11:25,944 --> 01:11:27,530 Yeah, I do. 1244 01:12:46,525 --> 01:12:49,987 Hey, uh, there's no inmates in the dorms while the bunks are being installed. 1245 01:12:50,071 --> 01:12:51,572 She needs to sit down. 1246 01:12:51,655 --> 01:12:53,324 I'm sorry. Rules is rules. 1247 01:12:54,783 --> 01:12:56,285 This one. 1248 01:12:57,495 --> 01:12:59,288 At least we're getting new beds. 1249 01:12:59,372 --> 01:13:01,207 I'm a little good at a lot of things 1250 01:13:01,290 --> 01:13:02,791 and I'm helping New Yorkers 1251 01:13:02,875 --> 01:13:04,543 one thing at a time. 1252 01:13:11,300 --> 01:13:13,010 - Who are you? - Is Cesar home? 1253 01:13:13,594 --> 01:13:16,347 Cesar? Some white guy! 1254 01:13:16,430 --> 01:13:19,057 Okay, it's okay. 1255 01:13:20,851 --> 01:13:22,060 Yo, what's up, man? Who are you? 1256 01:13:22,145 --> 01:13:23,312 Uh, Cesar Velazquez? 1257 01:13:24,355 --> 01:13:25,666 Fuck. 1258 01:13:25,731 --> 01:13:27,775 Get back in the room! Go back in the room! 1259 01:13:27,858 --> 01:13:29,193 What do you mean get back in the room? 1260 01:13:29,277 --> 01:13:30,611 Cesar, we have a warrant! 1261 01:13:35,449 --> 01:13:36,617 Come on! 1262 01:13:37,660 --> 01:13:38,744 - Please don't take my baby! - Move in! 1263 01:13:38,827 --> 01:13:39,828 Hands up! Don't move! 1264 01:13:39,912 --> 01:13:41,079 Get back in the room! Get back in your... 1265 01:13:41,164 --> 01:13:43,081 - Cesar! Cesar! - No! It's okay. 1266 01:13:43,791 --> 01:13:46,001 Yo, get your filthy fucking hands off my baby! 1267 01:13:46,752 --> 01:13:48,254 You two, with me! Let's go! 1268 01:13:52,007 --> 01:13:53,759 He's over there! 1269 01:13:53,842 --> 01:13:55,739 Get your hands off my daughter, you stupid motherfucker! 1270 01:13:55,761 --> 01:13:57,555 Get him down on the ground! 1271 01:13:57,638 --> 01:13:59,807 Get your hands off my fucking daughter! 1272 01:13:59,890 --> 01:14:01,309 - Motherfucker! - Daddy! 1273 01:14:01,392 --> 01:14:03,352 Get your hands off my daughter, motherfucker! 1274 01:14:03,436 --> 01:14:04,437 Come here, come here! 1275 01:14:04,520 --> 01:14:07,064 Let go of my daughter! I swear, the... 1276 01:14:07,148 --> 01:14:09,275 Jesus, looks like heroin Romper Room in here. 1277 01:14:09,358 --> 01:14:12,486 - Let's go, let's go! - Get Child Services down here, now. 1278 01:14:12,570 --> 01:14:14,488 And, Donna, get the baby out. 1279 01:14:15,989 --> 01:14:18,367 What are you doin'? No, no. 1280 01:14:20,286 --> 01:14:23,121 Let go of my baby. Let go of my baby, you mother... 1281 01:14:25,374 --> 01:14:27,501 Get off... 1282 01:14:27,585 --> 01:14:28,586 Daddy! 1283 01:14:28,669 --> 01:14:30,963 Christina! Take care of Daya's baby! 1284 01:14:31,046 --> 01:14:32,173 Let go of me. 1285 01:14:33,382 --> 01:14:34,675 Get off my girl! 1286 01:14:34,758 --> 01:14:36,844 Get off my girl, motherfucker! 1287 01:14:48,021 --> 01:14:49,940 Cliché, my ass. 1288 01:14:50,774 --> 01:14:53,444 It's... It's fucking awesome. 1289 01:15:14,798 --> 01:15:16,174 Hello? 1290 01:15:19,177 --> 01:15:20,178 Hello? 1291 01:15:20,263 --> 01:15:22,431 Judy King is here. 1292 01:15:22,515 --> 01:15:23,682 Anyone? 1293 01:15:28,354 --> 01:15:30,648 We're here to self-surrender! 1294 01:15:31,440 --> 01:15:32,483 Anyone? 1295 01:15:32,566 --> 01:15:34,192 Well, fuck a duck. 1296 01:15:34,277 --> 01:15:36,862 Already this place is a goddamn joke. 1297 01:15:37,488 --> 01:15:39,365 I told you we should've stuck with Alderson, 1298 01:15:39,448 --> 01:15:43,201 but no, no, you gotta drag my ass all the way to upstate Jew York. 1299 01:15:43,911 --> 01:15:46,664 I should kick your balls into your sternum. 1300 01:15:54,255 --> 01:15:57,049 Well, did we or did we not call ahead? 1301 01:15:57,132 --> 01:15:58,426 I mean, this is just... 1302 01:15:59,885 --> 01:16:01,178 rude. 1303 01:16:02,430 --> 01:16:03,681 Oh, God. 1304 01:17:11,289 --> 01:17:13,584 Hey, where's Norma Christ going? 1305 01:17:13,667 --> 01:17:16,086 - Holy... - Shit! 1306 01:17:17,254 --> 01:17:19,632 - Where the guards at? - I feel like this is one of those things, 1307 01:17:19,715 --> 01:17:21,509 like when all the dogs and the horses disappear 1308 01:17:21,592 --> 01:17:24,094 before there's an earthquake or a tidal wave or something. 1309 01:17:24,177 --> 01:17:26,013 - I'm going. - You crazy. 1310 01:17:26,096 --> 01:17:28,682 They're the ones who took the fence down. Maybe they're expanding the yard. 1311 01:17:28,766 --> 01:17:30,851 Are we supposed to know any better? 1312 01:17:33,228 --> 01:17:34,397 She got a good point. 1313 01:17:34,480 --> 01:17:36,106 The fuck? 1314 01:17:39,568 --> 01:17:41,153 Oh, shit. 1315 01:17:56,627 --> 01:17:57,836 What's even over there? 1316 01:17:57,920 --> 01:18:00,255 A bunch of bitches going to Seg. 1317 01:18:00,338 --> 01:18:05,177 Nah, nah! It's the lake! It's not escapable or nothin'. 1318 01:18:05,260 --> 01:18:06,970 It's a miracle. 1319 01:18:19,483 --> 01:18:21,735 - Come on, yo! - Oh, man, you too? 1320 01:18:21,819 --> 01:18:23,026 - What? - Even if we don't get busted, 1321 01:18:23,070 --> 01:18:24,697 you ain't worried about eels or some shit? 1322 01:18:24,780 --> 01:18:26,699 There ain't no eels in the freedom lake, man. 1323 01:18:26,782 --> 01:18:28,075 Stop being such a stereotype. 1324 01:18:28,158 --> 01:18:30,578 One of them black bitches gonna get they shit drowned, 1325 01:18:30,661 --> 01:18:32,204 and I ain't gonna be responsible. 1326 01:18:32,705 --> 01:18:33,706 Look. 1327 01:18:36,792 --> 01:18:39,878 Let's just be free for a second. 1328 01:18:41,213 --> 01:18:43,632 It's gonna be the last time in a long time. 1329 01:18:49,221 --> 01:18:50,681 Jesus! 1330 01:18:55,352 --> 01:18:56,479 Nope. 1331 01:18:58,105 --> 01:19:00,315 Hey, y'all seen Ginsberg? 1332 01:19:00,398 --> 01:19:02,234 But now's my chance for some new-Jew juju! 1333 01:19:02,317 --> 01:19:04,695 - I don't follow you. - That lake's my mikvah! 1334 01:19:04,778 --> 01:19:07,531 Isn't that her crashing through the underbrush? 1335 01:19:07,615 --> 01:19:10,075 Oh, Ginsberg! Ginsberg! 1336 01:19:10,158 --> 01:19:12,661 You know... 1337 01:19:12,745 --> 01:19:17,374 I think I could stand a little sand between my toes, too. 1338 01:19:19,960 --> 01:19:21,169 Let's do it. 1339 01:19:23,296 --> 01:19:27,801 No, no, no, no, no, no! Hey! Hey! No, no. Okay. 1340 01:19:27,885 --> 01:19:29,845 Uh, stop! Hey, hey! 1341 01:19:29,928 --> 01:19:31,304 - Hey! Stop it! - Boo! 1342 01:19:32,515 --> 01:19:36,184 Come on. Why now? Why now? Somebody, please! 1343 01:19:53,118 --> 01:19:54,119 Hallelujah! 1344 01:20:04,505 --> 01:20:05,673 Yo... 1345 01:20:08,759 --> 01:20:09,760 Crazy? 1346 01:20:09,843 --> 01:20:11,428 - Do you see her? - Yo! 1347 01:20:30,531 --> 01:20:32,991 Wow. 1348 01:21:22,207 --> 01:21:24,835 You're going down. 1349 01:21:34,011 --> 01:21:35,387 Go! Go! Charge her! 1350 01:21:37,640 --> 01:21:39,474 No! You can't stop the Boo-satucky! 1351 01:21:39,557 --> 01:21:42,019 No! No! 1352 01:22:15,552 --> 01:22:16,553 Oh! 1353 01:22:16,679 --> 01:22:18,305 No, oh. 1354 01:24:14,755 --> 01:24:15,839 Whoo! 1355 01:24:15,923 --> 01:24:19,885 Taystee, come on in! The water's fine! 1356 01:24:19,968 --> 01:24:22,429 - Come on in, girl! - Okay! Okay! I'm in! 1357 01:24:23,180 --> 01:24:25,723 Whoo! 1358 01:25:17,067 --> 01:25:19,402 Mazel tov. 1359 01:25:31,414 --> 01:25:32,916 Oh. Oh, no. 1360 01:25:47,722 --> 01:25:49,474 Oh!