1
00:00:33,186 --> 00:00:36,021
Evening, Mr. Ambassador. Looking
forward to the party tonight.
2
00:00:36,055 --> 00:00:37,389
I'm sure you are, Talbot.
3
00:00:37,391 --> 00:00:39,358
I was wondering if I could get
five minutes with you tomorrow.
4
00:00:39,392 --> 00:00:41,793
Yes. I've been meaning to
talk to you about your future.
5
00:00:41,828 --> 00:00:44,780
I just saw a job posting for a
director of environmental affairs.
6
00:00:44,814 --> 00:00:45,781
We'll talk in the morning then.
7
00:00:45,815 --> 00:00:47,232
Perfect.
8
00:00:48,067 --> 00:00:49,901
I can't wait to fire that guy.
9
00:00:49,952 --> 00:00:52,704
Rafiq! We're going on a mission.
10
00:00:52,739 --> 00:00:53,955
No, we are not going on a mission.
11
00:00:53,990 --> 00:00:55,874
Please get away from me. I'm
not even supposed to talk to you.
12
00:00:55,908 --> 00:00:57,993
- Come on. No fuss, no muss.
- Nope.
13
00:00:58,044 --> 00:00:59,745
Heard you lost your driving privileges,
14
00:00:59,747 --> 00:01:02,381
because they had to steam clean that
SUV that you took to the cricket match.
15
00:01:02,415 --> 00:01:04,655
It's not my fault those ladies
couldn't hold their liquor.
16
00:01:04,667 --> 00:01:05,584
Come on, be a buddy.
17
00:01:05,586 --> 00:01:07,019
I'm the only one at this fucking embassy
18
00:01:07,053 --> 00:01:08,003
who bothered to learn your name.
19
00:01:08,054 --> 00:01:09,588
I'm not taking you!
20
00:01:09,590 --> 00:01:11,223
Let's go!
21
00:01:11,257 --> 00:01:13,725
I guess I'm taking you.
22
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,345
- Putz.
- Yeah! Now we're talking.
23
00:01:16,396 --> 00:01:19,231
I'm telling you, it's
getting dangerous out there.
24
00:01:19,265 --> 00:01:20,982
I don't feel safe going out.
There's a rage in the air.
25
00:01:21,017 --> 00:01:23,318
You know what your problem
is? You telegraph fear.
26
00:01:23,353 --> 00:01:25,237
The militants can smell it on you.
27
00:01:25,271 --> 00:01:27,606
Ah. You telegraph arrogance.
28
00:01:27,657 --> 00:01:29,491
The militants are going to cut
your throat and put it on YouTube.
29
00:01:29,525 --> 00:01:31,443
- They have a channel just for that.
- Yeah, exactly.
30
00:01:31,494 --> 00:01:34,613
So you think I'm going to take any
risks in this anal cavity of a country?
31
00:01:34,615 --> 00:01:36,198
Ooh, so you're
writing a travel guide?
32
00:01:36,232 --> 00:01:38,333
I'm just here to help, my man.
33
00:01:38,368 --> 00:01:40,786
I'm telling you, this is
the wrong day for your bullshit.
34
00:01:48,711 --> 00:01:50,128
Oh, yeah.
35
00:01:50,179 --> 00:01:52,097
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
36
00:01:52,131 --> 00:01:54,383
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, shit, yeah.
37
00:01:55,885 --> 00:01:58,303
- Fuck, yeah.
- Yeah.
38
00:02:01,557 --> 00:02:04,192
Mmm. Sweet Jesus.
39
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,751
Walter?
40
00:02:31,587 --> 00:02:32,838
Walter!
41
00:02:32,889 --> 00:02:34,890
Shit! Don't scare me like that!
42
00:02:34,924 --> 00:02:38,226
Oh, too soon. The sexy ninja assassin
took the pillow away too soon.
43
00:02:38,261 --> 00:02:40,011
Evil American bureaucrat is still alive.
44
00:02:40,062 --> 00:02:43,849
- Oh. Let's try something else.
- No, on, no. We'll get it.
45
00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:46,685
It's a timing issue. Another
15 seconds would've done it.
46
00:02:46,736 --> 00:02:47,903
I don't want to go to jail for murder.
47
00:02:47,937 --> 00:02:49,855
They'd never hit you with murder.
48
00:02:49,906 --> 00:02:52,941
Manslaughter, but you just tell
them you were defending yourself.
49
00:02:52,992 --> 00:02:55,277
I was trying to attack
you. Ooh, let's try that.
50
00:02:55,328 --> 00:02:56,912
I'll pretend to be attacking you,
51
00:02:56,946 --> 00:02:59,781
and you pretend to take a dirty
knife from a room service tray
52
00:02:59,832 --> 00:03:02,751
and kill me, yeah? Why do
all of your sexual fantasies
53
00:03:02,785 --> 00:03:04,586
involve you getting murdered?
54
00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:06,004
Why do all your sexual fantasies
55
00:03:06,038 --> 00:03:08,790
involve you fleeing Cambodia
in a cargo container?
56
00:03:08,841 --> 00:03:11,877
That story wasn't a sexual fantasy.
57
00:03:11,928 --> 00:03:13,595
That was my childhood.
58
00:03:13,629 --> 00:03:16,848
Come here, baby. Papa's thirsty.
59
00:03:17,934 --> 00:03:20,051
Oh! Christ almighty.
60
00:03:20,053 --> 00:03:21,553
- Untie me!
- Oh, God.
61
00:03:21,604 --> 00:03:23,722
As you know, threesomes are extra.
62
00:03:23,724 --> 00:03:26,191
Whoever it is, get rid of
them. Untie me, untie me!
63
00:03:26,225 --> 00:03:28,443
I know he's in there.
64
00:03:29,562 --> 00:03:33,031
- There's no Walter here.
- Excuse me.
65
00:03:33,065 --> 00:03:34,699
You can't come in here.
66
00:03:34,734 --> 00:03:36,401
Mr. Secretary.
67
00:03:38,621 --> 00:03:40,238
This had better be important,
68
00:03:40,289 --> 00:03:42,769
'cause as you can plainly see,
I am in the middle of a meeting.
69
00:03:47,547 --> 00:03:50,749
I found him. Yeah, we'll
be there in seven...
70
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,584
make that eight minutes.
71
00:03:52,586 --> 00:03:55,887
- You're not his wife?
- Yeah, thank God.
72
00:03:55,922 --> 00:03:58,340
Kendra, Jasmine. Jasmine, Kendra.
73
00:03:58,391 --> 00:04:00,225
Pants. Car.
74
00:04:00,259 --> 00:04:01,593
Now.
75
00:04:04,847 --> 00:04:07,432
- Do you want a mint?
- No, thank you.
76
00:04:07,483 --> 00:04:09,901
- Brief me.
- Okay, Pakistan.
77
00:04:09,936 --> 00:04:11,937
Did you read through
the binders I sent you?
78
00:04:11,939 --> 00:04:15,574
Unless they were encrypted on the
vaginal walls of an Asian call girl, no.
79
00:04:15,608 --> 00:04:16,658
What binders?
80
00:04:16,692 --> 00:04:18,743
The ones marked "Secretary
of State" on the covers,
81
00:04:18,778 --> 00:04:22,380
the ones containing incredibly sensitive
SCI level clearance information.
82
00:04:22,415 --> 00:04:27,168
Oh, yeah. I think I might have
left them on the bar at Bobby Van's.
83
00:04:27,253 --> 00:04:29,888
We'll have to send someone to
track them down and shred them.
84
00:04:29,922 --> 00:04:31,790
- Billy can do it?
- Billy?
85
00:04:31,841 --> 00:04:34,125
He's the bartender there.
86
00:04:34,127 --> 00:04:36,678
Right. So, you want to
trust Billy the bartender
87
00:04:36,712 --> 00:04:38,463
with classified military documents
88
00:04:38,465 --> 00:04:41,049
and the names of covert
CIA agents in Pakistan?
89
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:44,936
He's a good kid. He's also
my wife's personal trainer.
90
00:04:44,971 --> 00:04:47,389
I think he might be fucking her.
91
00:04:47,423 --> 00:04:49,608
Are you absolutely sure no mint?
92
00:04:49,642 --> 00:04:52,444
Speaking of which, let's not
let a good crisis go to waste.
93
00:04:52,478 --> 00:04:56,064
Call my wife, tell her I've been with
the president for the last 12 hours.
94
00:04:56,115 --> 00:04:58,733
Now, tell me everything I
need to know about Pakistan
95
00:04:58,784 --> 00:05:00,485
and not a goddamn thing more.
96
00:05:00,536 --> 00:05:01,703
Okay.
97
00:05:14,166 --> 00:05:17,502
Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up.
98
00:05:18,638 --> 00:05:20,889
- Hello?
- Hey! It's Zeke.
99
00:05:20,923 --> 00:05:23,091
Where are you? We're
somewhere in the Red Sea.
100
00:05:23,142 --> 00:05:25,977
Can't be too precise, OPSEC
and all that. How are the kids?
101
00:05:26,012 --> 00:05:27,729
They're good. When can you Skype with them?
102
00:05:27,763 --> 00:05:29,314
Not for a while. We're underway.
103
00:05:29,348 --> 00:05:31,249
The guy from the bank called again.
104
00:05:31,284 --> 00:05:32,484
It sounds like they're gonna foreclose,
105
00:05:32,518 --> 00:05:33,852
so I need you to increase the cash flow.
106
00:05:33,854 --> 00:05:36,688
Ashley, I keep
telling you, send me more product.
107
00:05:36,739 --> 00:05:39,324
I'm not gonna break into my
stock. You need to charge more.
108
00:05:39,358 --> 00:05:41,860
Your markup is pathetic.
They can't pay more.
109
00:05:41,911 --> 00:05:44,946
Most of these poor guys,
they net 250 a week.
110
00:05:44,997 --> 00:05:48,166
After sending money home, Xbox,
porn... there's nothing left.
111
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:50,201
Who the hell pays for porn these days?
112
00:05:50,203 --> 00:05:53,004
Horny sailors stuck in the
middle of the ocean with no wifi.
113
00:05:53,039 --> 00:05:55,040
Look, Zeke, I really don't
wanna have this argument again.
114
00:05:55,074 --> 00:05:56,958
- What do you mean? We're not arguing.
- Z-Pak.
115
00:05:57,009 --> 00:05:59,878
- Been looking all over for you.
- Ashley, don't hang up.
116
00:05:59,929 --> 00:06:02,430
Sir! Shit just got real.
117
00:06:02,465 --> 00:06:05,433
Admiral wants his best sticks in the
air, and that definitely means you.
118
00:06:05,468 --> 00:06:06,885
Get off the phone. Now.
119
00:06:06,887 --> 00:06:09,554
Ashley, these drugs are the only thing
120
00:06:09,556 --> 00:06:11,006
keeping everybody on this ship awake.
121
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,608
- Then they need to drink more coffee.
- How about a little compassion
122
00:06:13,643 --> 00:06:16,645
for the brave men and women who
keep you from having to wear a burqa?
123
00:06:16,696 --> 00:06:19,614
Okay, fine. I will put a
yellow ribbon on my bumper.
124
00:06:19,649 --> 00:06:21,483
Please, Ashley, I'm begging you.
125
00:06:21,534 --> 00:06:23,735
Send me more
product. You've gotta do it, Ash!
126
00:06:23,737 --> 00:06:25,286
Right now, look, I really gotta go.
127
00:06:25,321 --> 00:06:27,405
- Listen to me! Ashley.
- I'm late.
128
00:06:27,407 --> 00:06:29,624
By the way, so is your alimony check.
129
00:06:29,659 --> 00:06:32,043
Don't hang up! No!
130
00:06:34,046 --> 00:06:35,747
Fuck me.
131
00:06:35,749 --> 00:06:39,834
Ashley, I really need
you to get here on time.
132
00:06:39,885 --> 00:06:41,836
I can take the first customer.
133
00:06:43,305 --> 00:06:45,256
Okay. Is this it for today?
134
00:06:54,984 --> 00:06:56,935
This is it. This is it.
135
00:07:00,272 --> 00:07:03,324
If I'm not back in 10, just
drive away like nothing's wrong,
136
00:07:03,359 --> 00:07:05,860
call the op desk, remember me fondly.
137
00:07:16,622 --> 00:07:18,423
Do you have the package?
138
00:07:18,457 --> 00:07:20,258
The price has gone up.
139
00:07:22,628 --> 00:07:24,929
What is it with your
people? We agreed on a price.
140
00:07:24,964 --> 00:07:27,215
I agreed to nothing.
141
00:07:27,266 --> 00:07:30,719
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait. Whatever it is, I can pay.
142
00:07:30,770 --> 00:07:33,054
You got me by the short
hairs. Go ahead and squeeze.
143
00:07:33,105 --> 00:07:34,856
Lemonade my balls.
144
00:07:34,890 --> 00:07:37,976
- Double.
- Double? No problem.
145
00:07:39,645 --> 00:07:42,063
Pleasure doing business with you.
146
00:07:42,982 --> 00:07:44,282
At least throw in a shirt.
147
00:07:45,618 --> 00:07:47,819
Too much to ask?
Everything's a negotiation.
148
00:07:47,870 --> 00:07:49,821
It's not necessarily a bad thing.
149
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,745
Back to the embassy, Tonto.
150
00:07:56,796 --> 00:07:59,047
As much as I relish leaving this shithole,
151
00:07:59,081 --> 00:08:00,799
I'm gonna miss your exquisite weed.
152
00:08:00,833 --> 00:08:02,250
This was all about scoring dope?
153
00:08:02,301 --> 00:08:04,836
No, this is about scoring with Malena.
154
00:08:04,887 --> 00:08:06,671
She works at the Danish embassy,
155
00:08:06,722 --> 00:08:09,758
and I intend to nation build
with her at the big party tonight.
156
00:08:09,809 --> 00:08:13,011
- Hence the primo smoke.
- Ah. Diplomacy takes many forms.
157
00:08:13,062 --> 00:08:15,847
Look, I spend all day
organizing clean water projects,
158
00:08:15,849 --> 00:08:18,233
- only to see them sabotaged by the Taliban.
- Go!
159
00:08:18,267 --> 00:08:20,435
I deserve a little Danish nookie.
160
00:08:20,486 --> 00:08:22,187
What happened to Eva at the German embassy?
161
00:08:22,189 --> 00:08:24,405
She wanted me to help her get
a green card, and that kinda...
162
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,658
ruined everything.
163
00:08:26,692 --> 00:08:29,577
And if she finds out about Malena,
she'll send me to the gas chamber.
164
00:08:29,612 --> 00:08:32,363
I'm glad you're risking my
life so that you can dine out,
165
00:08:32,365 --> 00:08:34,582
at the International House of Pussy.
166
00:08:37,369 --> 00:08:39,370
That's no gay pride parade.
167
00:08:39,421 --> 00:08:41,923
Shit. They're still protesting
the election results.
168
00:08:41,957 --> 00:08:44,042
Where do they find time
to do all this protesting?
169
00:08:44,044 --> 00:08:45,093
Don't they have jobs?
170
00:08:45,127 --> 00:08:46,567
- Whoa, whoa.
- Why are you stopping?
171
00:08:48,214 --> 00:08:50,465
Something's not right. Fuck me.
172
00:08:50,516 --> 00:08:53,218
- Stay here.
- Damn it.
173
00:08:58,307 --> 00:08:59,941
Shit!
174
00:08:59,975 --> 00:09:02,560
Okay, you need to get out of the
car and help me change this tire.
175
00:09:02,611 --> 00:09:05,196
Yeah, pass. I'm not really
feeling the love out here tonight.
176
00:09:06,782 --> 00:09:07,899
Hey, they're coming here for us, okay?
177
00:09:07,950 --> 00:09:10,235
Where the hell is a
drone when you need one?
178
00:09:10,237 --> 00:09:11,786
Oh, God! I'm gonna be butt-raped!
179
00:09:11,821 --> 00:09:15,323
You need to really stop obsessing about
man-rape and get the fuck out of the car!
180
00:09:15,374 --> 00:09:16,791
Let's get the fuck out
of here, god damn it!
181
00:09:16,826 --> 00:09:18,409
Go, go, go, go!
182
00:09:18,411 --> 00:09:20,295
Go! Go!
183
00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:26,835
Oh, Jesus!
184
00:09:40,349 --> 00:09:41,482
Oh, outstanding.
185
00:09:41,517 --> 00:09:45,436
Okay, see that? This is not
a spontaneous demonstration.
186
00:09:45,438 --> 00:09:47,572
It's a show staged by the military.
187
00:09:47,606 --> 00:09:49,908
- Which way back to the embassy?
- No, no, it's blocked.
188
00:09:49,942 --> 00:09:52,694
We're going to have to find a
place to lay low for a while.
189
00:09:52,745 --> 00:09:54,112
- How about Vancouver?
- Ah.
190
00:09:54,163 --> 00:09:55,613
No signal.
191
00:09:55,615 --> 00:09:57,031
- Huh?
- Fuck!
192
00:09:57,082 --> 00:09:59,250
The military has cut off cell reception.
193
00:09:59,285 --> 00:10:01,286
- They do that a lot?
- Yeah.
194
00:10:01,337 --> 00:10:03,204
Yeah. It's a Pakistani tradition.
195
00:10:06,709 --> 00:10:08,626
I just want to get a straight answer.
196
00:10:08,677 --> 00:10:10,795
Walter! Finally, somebody who
knows what's going on in the world.
197
00:10:10,846 --> 00:10:12,964
- Good morning, Mr. President.
- Morning.
198
00:10:13,015 --> 00:10:15,049
Are you sick? You don't look well.
199
00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:18,102
I've never felt better.
What's going on in Pakistan?
200
00:10:18,137 --> 00:10:21,639
There are anti-government protests on
the streets of Karachi and Islamabad.
201
00:10:21,641 --> 00:10:24,359
Diplomatic enclaves are
sealed. TV and radio are down.
202
00:10:24,393 --> 00:10:26,361
Internet's down, too, which
means there's no Twitter feed
203
00:10:26,395 --> 00:10:27,645
to tell us what the hell's happening.
204
00:10:27,696 --> 00:10:29,197
Why can't we reach the
Pakistani ambassador?
205
00:10:29,231 --> 00:10:31,649
He's been recalled. Flew
out of Dulles six hours ago.
206
00:10:31,651 --> 00:10:33,985
It's a signal. The last call.
207
00:10:33,987 --> 00:10:36,070
Stools on the bar. No
more business as usual.
208
00:10:36,121 --> 00:10:39,824
- Smells like a coup d'état.
- Led by who?
209
00:10:40,659 --> 00:10:43,661
- I can't tell you that.
- I'm the president.
210
00:10:43,663 --> 00:10:46,664
No, I mean... we don't know.
211
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,334
- Terrific.
- Mr. President,
212
00:10:49,385 --> 00:10:52,420
all of Pakistan's nuclear
warheads are at risk.
213
00:10:52,471 --> 00:10:54,672
Imagine if al-Qaeda
got their hands on them.
214
00:10:54,674 --> 00:10:56,341
Our contingency plan needs to be put
215
00:10:56,392 --> 00:10:58,810
- into motion immediately.
- Contingency plan?
216
00:10:58,844 --> 00:11:01,429
Pierce, haven't you been
a busy little beaver?
217
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,231
Now, what
carriers do we have nearby?
218
00:11:03,265 --> 00:11:06,601
Well, the Reagan had to leave station
three days ago due to propulsion issues,
219
00:11:06,652 --> 00:11:08,686
but we do have a backup en route,
220
00:11:08,688 --> 00:11:10,355
and they can launch from the Red Sea.
221
00:11:10,357 --> 00:11:13,658
Adds a little flight time, so we've
begun putting assets in the air now.
222
00:11:13,692 --> 00:11:15,412
All we need is your
go-ahead, Mr. President.
223
00:11:15,444 --> 00:11:17,412
Whoa. Gentlemen, let's
just take a breath here
224
00:11:17,446 --> 00:11:20,198
and tuck our tiny little
peckers back into our pants.
225
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,834
Here's an idea. Let's find
out what the fuck is going on,
226
00:11:22,868 --> 00:11:24,919
then we can start World War III!
227
00:11:24,954 --> 00:11:27,755
Jesus, Walter, your
breath is a goddamn fire hazard.
228
00:11:27,790 --> 00:11:30,091
Who do we have on the
streets outside the embassy?
229
00:11:30,125 --> 00:11:31,759
We're still checking
on that, Mr. President.
230
00:11:31,794 --> 00:11:34,879
Most of our key people
were already at the embassy
231
00:11:34,913 --> 00:11:37,382
at a social function
when it was sealed off.
232
00:11:37,433 --> 00:11:39,717
It's the monthly "This
country's a ticking time bomb,
233
00:11:39,719 --> 00:11:41,970
"so we might as well
all get shitfaced" gala.
234
00:11:42,021 --> 00:11:43,721
It's a heck of a party, actually.
235
00:11:43,772 --> 00:11:45,890
We need eyes and ears on the ground.
236
00:11:45,941 --> 00:11:48,476
And I need
hair of the dog, pronto.
237
00:11:48,527 --> 00:11:51,362
Yeah, well, you know there's no
alcohol allowed in the situation room.
238
00:11:51,397 --> 00:11:53,448
Well, make it look like orange juice.
239
00:11:53,482 --> 00:11:56,534
Christ, do you think LBJ fought
Vietnam in this room sober?
240
00:11:56,568 --> 00:11:58,569
Yeah, we lost that one, remember?
241
00:11:58,571 --> 00:12:01,372
Tell me about it. This job sucks ass.
242
00:12:01,407 --> 00:12:04,325
I should've asked for
Secretary of Interior.
243
00:12:04,376 --> 00:12:06,244
No one's gonna take you away from a hooker
244
00:12:06,295 --> 00:12:08,546
in the middle of the night
to save Mount Rushmore.
245
00:12:08,580 --> 00:12:10,832
- Yeah, well, too late.
- Can I have a mint?
246
00:12:10,883 --> 00:12:13,718
Uh, a guy named Billy called,
247
00:12:13,752 --> 00:12:17,255
says he's a bartender at Bobby
Van's. He says it's important.
248
00:12:18,257 --> 00:12:19,724
I don't... I don't know.
249
00:12:19,758 --> 00:12:21,142
Kendra?
250
00:12:24,513 --> 00:12:26,097
It's not safe here.
251
00:12:26,099 --> 00:12:27,565
You might as well have
a target on your back
252
00:12:27,599 --> 00:12:29,350
- with that Brooks Brothers jacket.
- I'm sorry.
253
00:12:29,401 --> 00:12:31,903
- I left my fez at home.
- Okay. Shit!
254
00:12:31,937 --> 00:12:33,438
I've got to get you off the street.
255
00:12:33,489 --> 00:12:35,440
We'll go to my parents'
house. It's not far from here.
256
00:12:35,442 --> 00:12:37,191
Isn't it a little soon
to meet your parents?
257
00:12:37,242 --> 00:12:38,776
I mean, we just started dating.
258
00:12:41,563 --> 00:12:44,515
- Rock and roll, baby!
- Hey, what's going on, buddy?
259
00:12:44,550 --> 00:12:47,502
Hey, you know that public affairs officer?
260
00:12:47,536 --> 00:12:49,787
Gail what's-her-name?
Real cute.
261
00:12:49,789 --> 00:12:51,839
- Who? Gail Sweet?
- Yeah!
262
00:12:51,874 --> 00:12:53,458
- Yeah.
- She's pregnant.
263
00:12:53,460 --> 00:12:55,543
- What?
- Yeah!
264
00:12:55,594 --> 00:12:57,462
CJ over in Medical told me.
265
00:12:57,464 --> 00:13:00,631
God! Whoever she's banging...
luckiest son of a bitch on this boat...
266
00:13:00,633 --> 00:13:02,100
just became the unluckiest.
267
00:13:02,134 --> 00:13:04,018
She ain't pregnant.
268
00:13:04,053 --> 00:13:05,937
She can't be.
269
00:13:05,971 --> 00:13:08,022
How would you know that?
270
00:13:09,808 --> 00:13:12,393
Oh, shit!
271
00:13:12,444 --> 00:13:15,063
Ah! She swore to me she
was on the pill, man.
272
00:13:15,114 --> 00:13:17,398
- Pregnant?
- Well, that's what CJ says.
273
00:13:17,449 --> 00:13:20,234
Fuck me! I cannot afford
this shit right now.
274
00:13:20,285 --> 00:13:21,786
I'm worried about you, Z-Pak.
275
00:13:21,820 --> 00:13:24,038
I'm dealing with two underwater
mortgages and child support.
276
00:13:24,073 --> 00:13:27,058
I've been living off of credit
cards since flight school,
277
00:13:27,092 --> 00:13:29,210
flying $65 million fighter jets
278
00:13:29,244 --> 00:13:30,828
for minimum fucking wage!
279
00:13:30,830 --> 00:13:33,331
I should've been a plumber like my brother.
280
00:13:33,382 --> 00:13:34,632
Son of a bitch makes out like a bandit.
281
00:13:34,666 --> 00:13:36,334
Well, you both know how to lay pipe.
282
00:13:36,336 --> 00:13:37,885
I could teach people
to push pills for me.
283
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,637
- You in?
- Fuck no.
284
00:13:39,671 --> 00:13:41,839
No, I'm thinking of taking my FAA exam.
285
00:13:41,841 --> 00:13:43,808
Yeah, gonna fly for FedEx or JetBlue!
286
00:13:43,842 --> 00:13:45,510
I hate to pop your dream bubble,
287
00:13:45,512 --> 00:13:47,979
but FedEx ain't hiring
and Jet Blue pays shit.
288
00:13:48,013 --> 00:13:48,838
Where'd you hear this?
289
00:13:48,839 --> 00:13:50,493
Why do you think Mace
and Boomer just re-upped?
290
00:13:50,517 --> 00:13:52,350
Well, it ain't for the
food, that's for damn sure.
291
00:13:52,352 --> 00:13:54,152
So, you with me?
292
00:13:54,186 --> 00:13:56,237
Doesn't seem like I got much of a choice.
293
00:13:56,271 --> 00:13:58,489
Roger that.
294
00:13:59,658 --> 00:14:01,526
Is there any money in crop dusting?
295
00:14:01,528 --> 00:14:03,411
Now, will somebody please tell me
296
00:14:03,445 --> 00:14:05,913
who the fuck we're supposed
to bomb the shit out of?
297
00:14:09,001 --> 00:14:12,036
Word is Walter Larson's
gonna make a run for president.
298
00:14:12,038 --> 00:14:14,872
Mm-hmm. And the last time he
was here, I hooked him up with girls.
299
00:14:14,874 --> 00:14:17,792
Twins. Blonde Asian twins.
300
00:14:17,843 --> 00:14:19,927
High degree of difficulty
in this goddamn desert.
301
00:14:19,962 --> 00:14:22,763
And he told me that he
and I were, and I quote,
302
00:14:22,798 --> 00:14:24,549
"cut from the same cloth."
303
00:14:24,551 --> 00:14:27,101
If he gets elected, it'll be payback time.
304
00:14:27,136 --> 00:14:28,728
Why are you here?
305
00:14:28,752 --> 00:14:30,555
Because I can't get back
to the fucking embassy.
306
00:14:30,556 --> 00:14:32,640
No, I mean, why are you
in the foreign service?
307
00:14:32,691 --> 00:14:34,892
Mmm! You make a miserable diplomat.
308
00:14:34,943 --> 00:14:37,195
Because when all the other
pricks from my class at Dartmouth
309
00:14:37,229 --> 00:14:39,030
went off to Wall Street
to suck every nickel
310
00:14:39,064 --> 00:14:41,616
from the poor and middle-class,
I didn't want to be one of 'em!
311
00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:43,401
Hard as it may be for you to fathom,
312
00:14:43,452 --> 00:14:46,871
- I want to make a difference.
- Ah, by procuring prostitutes
313
00:14:46,905 --> 00:14:48,623
- for your boss?
- You know what?
314
00:14:48,657 --> 00:14:50,458
An army marches on its stomach.
315
00:14:50,576 --> 00:14:52,460
Walter Larson marches on his dick.
316
00:14:52,494 --> 00:14:55,630
Who cares? Underneath all
that, Walter's a good guy.
317
00:14:55,664 --> 00:14:58,249
I heard he tips well.
318
00:15:03,021 --> 00:15:04,172
Is that fresh-squeezed?
319
00:15:04,223 --> 00:15:05,840
Yeah, just like you asked.
320
00:15:05,891 --> 00:15:08,476
All right, we now believe
that whoever is in charge
321
00:15:08,510 --> 00:15:11,646
has assumed command and control
of their nuclear arsenal,
322
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:14,315
and is attempting to relocate the warheads.
323
00:15:14,349 --> 00:15:16,100
- Terrific.
- Mr. President,
324
00:15:16,151 --> 00:15:18,819
we need to take out those key
sites before they can be moved.
325
00:15:18,854 --> 00:15:20,574
Come on. Once they're
hit, it'll be too late.
326
00:15:20,606 --> 00:15:23,324
These sites are just guesses.
It's your same bad intel
327
00:15:23,358 --> 00:15:24,909
that missed Bin Laden year after year
328
00:15:24,943 --> 00:15:27,612
while he was swapping wives every
night right in the middle of Abbottabad.
329
00:15:27,663 --> 00:15:29,330
All right, Walter, what's your proposal?
330
00:15:29,364 --> 00:15:31,582
Call an emergency session
of the UN Security Council,
331
00:15:31,617 --> 00:15:33,918
- get a regional summit going.
- The region will be a smoking ruin
332
00:15:33,952 --> 00:15:37,121
before your summit can negotiate
a group rate on hotel rooms.
333
00:15:37,172 --> 00:15:38,172
You'll never hit all those sites,
334
00:15:38,207 --> 00:15:39,957
and the ones you miss
will end up being sold
335
00:15:40,008 --> 00:15:42,009
to the highest bidder on the black market!
336
00:15:42,044 --> 00:15:44,545
Mr. President, if you go with this plan,
337
00:15:44,596 --> 00:15:46,297
it won't be long before you see a listing
338
00:15:46,299 --> 00:15:48,382
for a long-range
ballistic missile on eBay.
339
00:15:52,888 --> 00:15:54,972
Oh, hello. Nice house.
340
00:15:55,023 --> 00:15:57,391
- You live here?
- Yeah, what did you expect?
341
00:15:57,442 --> 00:16:00,695
I don't know. A mud hut,
stray goats, burning tires.
342
00:16:00,729 --> 00:16:02,863
Oh. Yeah.
343
00:16:02,898 --> 00:16:04,899
Hey, what does it feel like
344
00:16:04,950 --> 00:16:06,951
to be such an asshole?
345
00:16:06,985 --> 00:16:09,153
Well, the world is run
by assholes, my friend.
346
00:16:09,155 --> 00:16:11,122
Don't underestimate the asshole.
347
00:16:11,156 --> 00:16:14,575
It's the most powerful muscle
in the body. It will crush you.
348
00:16:18,647 --> 00:16:19,830
Ready?
349
00:16:21,133 --> 00:16:22,583
Z-Pak!
350
00:16:23,502 --> 00:16:25,886
You're being singled out
for something special.
351
00:16:25,921 --> 00:16:28,139
- Sir, what's going on?
- You know as much as I do!
352
00:16:28,173 --> 00:16:30,424
Just get on station and
await further instruction.
353
00:16:30,475 --> 00:16:32,476
- Hey.
- Huh?
354
00:16:32,511 --> 00:16:34,812
Here's the 50 that I
owe you for the Provigil.
355
00:16:34,846 --> 00:16:37,048
How soon can you get me some more?
356
00:16:37,082 --> 00:16:40,484
Sir, having a little supply issue!
357
00:16:40,519 --> 00:16:42,853
Should be all straightened out
shortly. I'll be in touch, sir!
358
00:16:42,855 --> 00:16:46,157
Good! I shouldn't have to
remind you that if I fall asleep,
359
00:16:46,191 --> 00:16:49,110
our planes end up
crashing into one another.
360
00:16:49,161 --> 00:16:50,444
Sir, no, sir!
361
00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:57,585
This... is Alex,
362
00:16:57,619 --> 00:17:00,037
the one that I was telling you all about.
363
00:17:00,039 --> 00:17:02,373
Oh. Yes.
364
00:17:02,375 --> 00:17:04,875
So happy to finally meet you.
365
00:17:04,926 --> 00:17:07,211
- Likewise.
- Our son informs us
366
00:17:07,262 --> 00:17:09,263
that your ignorance of all things Pakistani
367
00:17:09,298 --> 00:17:12,466
is truly astonishing, a sight to behold.
368
00:17:12,517 --> 00:17:15,019
I cannot wait to witness it for myself.
369
00:17:15,053 --> 00:17:15,674
Naeema.
370
00:17:15,698 --> 00:17:18,650
And why is it you treat
my boy, little Rafi, so badly?
371
00:17:18,651 --> 00:17:21,052
Hush, woman! He is lucky to have this job.
372
00:17:21,109 --> 00:17:22,727
But he has gained so much weight
373
00:17:22,729 --> 00:17:24,395
since he started working for you people.
374
00:17:24,397 --> 00:17:26,647
- What are you feeding him?
- Ignore my wife.
375
00:17:26,698 --> 00:17:29,367
My son, he is very happy working for you.
376
00:17:29,401 --> 00:17:32,086
- May I ask what you do?
- I'm a writer.
377
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,872
He writes popular fiction...
spy novels, thrillers,
378
00:17:34,906 --> 00:17:37,792
things like that. He's been
translated into seven languages.
379
00:17:37,826 --> 00:17:40,544
Random House has an offer on the table.
380
00:17:40,579 --> 00:17:42,797
A very generous offer.
381
00:17:42,831 --> 00:17:46,917
I refuse to give up movie
and television rights.
382
00:17:48,553 --> 00:17:50,588
The Middle East is hot right now.
383
00:17:50,639 --> 00:17:53,140
What's going on?
384
00:17:53,175 --> 00:17:56,811
- Who is this?
- This is...
385
00:17:56,845 --> 00:17:59,513
Rafi's friend from the American embassy.
386
00:17:59,598 --> 00:18:01,565
This is my uncle Hasan.
387
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,251
He's a renowned psychologist,
teaches at the university.
388
00:18:04,286 --> 00:18:05,936
You work for the CIA, don't you?
389
00:18:05,987 --> 00:18:08,155
What? Me? No! Oh, God.
390
00:18:08,190 --> 00:18:10,241
Honestly. I-I... I am...
391
00:18:10,275 --> 00:18:12,109
in no way affiliated
392
00:18:12,111 --> 00:18:13,611
with the Central Intelligence
393
00:18:13,613 --> 00:18:15,663
Agency. I am a functionary
394
00:18:15,697 --> 00:18:17,915
of the State Department
at the lowest level.
395
00:18:17,949 --> 00:18:21,285
_
396
00:18:21,287 --> 00:18:23,421
_
397
00:18:27,422 --> 00:18:28,372
_
398
00:18:28,377 --> 00:18:30,494
- Oh, yes.
- _
399
00:18:32,214 --> 00:18:34,548
_
400
00:18:34,599 --> 00:18:36,684
_
401
00:18:37,691 --> 00:18:40,080
_
402
00:18:40,305 --> 00:18:41,806
What... What are you guys talking about?
403
00:18:41,808 --> 00:18:44,442
We were just discussing
404
00:18:44,476 --> 00:18:47,478
how much we admire American foreign policy.
405
00:18:48,363 --> 00:18:50,314
Yeah.
406
00:18:50,316 --> 00:18:53,818
So, do any of you have any
idea what's happening out there?
407
00:18:53,869 --> 00:18:55,453
I mean, has there been any news?
408
00:18:55,487 --> 00:18:59,373
Uh... just bits and pieces...
409
00:18:59,408 --> 00:19:03,961
Of people they believe
to be CIA collaborators.
410
00:19:03,995 --> 00:19:05,996
Good.
411
00:19:06,047 --> 00:19:07,748
A bit of that droll Pakistani humor
412
00:19:07,799 --> 00:19:10,334
you and your fellow countrymen
are not so famous for.
413
00:19:12,337 --> 00:19:14,171
No?
414
00:19:16,508 --> 00:19:18,225
Pakistani TV is back up.
415
00:19:22,347 --> 00:19:24,181
- Sound?
- Working on it.
416
00:19:24,183 --> 00:19:26,984
- Who the hell is that?
- It's Umair Zaman,
417
00:19:27,018 --> 00:19:29,653
the former general. He's ex-ISI leader.
418
00:19:29,688 --> 00:19:30,893
He's our guy.
419
00:19:30,894 --> 00:19:33,765
He was our handpicked guy
until he turned radical.
420
00:19:33,775 --> 00:19:36,243
He's still got a lot
of support in the army.
421
00:19:36,278 --> 00:19:39,196
He's head of the Pakistani Unity Party,
422
00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:42,666
ran in the last election,
lost, contested the results.
423
00:19:42,701 --> 00:19:45,286
I guess he's not bothering
to wait around for a recount.
424
00:19:45,337 --> 00:19:47,538
Looks like he's in charge now.
425
00:19:47,540 --> 00:19:49,089
There... Ah, sound.
426
00:19:49,124 --> 00:19:51,292
- Who speaks Urdu?
- I do, sir.
427
00:19:51,343 --> 00:19:52,510
Lovely.
428
00:19:54,129 --> 00:19:55,546
If you could translate, please.
429
00:19:57,516 --> 00:20:00,684
He's saying
430
00:20:00,719 --> 00:20:05,222
that the drone war being carried out inside
Pakistan's sovereign borders is illegal.
431
00:20:06,057 --> 00:20:09,109
The former government was
complicit in these crimes.
432
00:20:09,144 --> 00:20:13,063
He says the US drone war
is a Zionist conspiracy.
433
00:20:13,114 --> 00:20:15,733
He's just playing to the
cheap seats, Mr. President.
434
00:20:15,784 --> 00:20:18,569
He says the American-Zionist drones
435
00:20:18,620 --> 00:20:21,071
have spread dangerous
electromagnetic activity
436
00:20:21,122 --> 00:20:23,324
across Pakistan, and...
437
00:20:25,494 --> 00:20:27,127
Yes? Go on.
438
00:20:27,162 --> 00:20:30,414
This electromagnetic energy
439
00:20:30,416 --> 00:20:32,967
is a secret diabolical program
440
00:20:33,001 --> 00:20:36,670
to alter the reproductive
biology of our girls
441
00:20:36,721 --> 00:20:38,556
and to emasculate our boys.
442
00:20:39,808 --> 00:20:41,759
We're not
really doing that, are we?
443
00:20:49,518 --> 00:20:51,235
- What's he saying?
- I don't know.
444
00:20:51,269 --> 00:20:53,437
I don't know. Something about the drones
445
00:20:53,439 --> 00:20:55,940
being a form of birth control
invented by the Israelis.
446
00:20:55,991 --> 00:20:57,324
He's completely off his rocker.
447
00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:00,361
Yes, Umair Zaman is certifiable.
448
00:21:00,412 --> 00:21:01,779
In fact, I certified him.
449
00:21:01,830 --> 00:21:04,331
He suffered a full psychotic
break about five years ago.
450
00:21:04,366 --> 00:21:08,419
You treated him? He was a
patient of mine for many years.
451
00:21:08,453 --> 00:21:11,205
I have a file upstairs... Quite thick!
452
00:21:11,256 --> 00:21:13,707
He has acute episodic schizophrenia.
453
00:21:13,758 --> 00:21:15,459
Textbook case, really.
454
00:21:15,510 --> 00:21:17,628
So much for doctor-patient
confidentiality.
455
00:21:17,679 --> 00:21:20,097
The militants are gonna
eat this nonsense up.
456
00:21:20,131 --> 00:21:21,715
There's going to be rioting.
457
00:21:21,766 --> 00:21:24,552
They will burn the Domino's
Pizza to the ground again.
458
00:21:24,603 --> 00:21:26,637
We're gonna have to order from Rawalpindi.
459
00:21:26,639 --> 00:21:28,639
That's gonna take forever.
460
00:21:29,808 --> 00:21:31,448
Have you been listening to the television?
461
00:21:32,477 --> 00:21:34,628
I don't believe we've been introduced.
462
00:21:34,696 --> 00:21:38,232
Alex, this is my sister, Fareeda.
463
00:21:38,283 --> 00:21:41,902
You must be my brother's
insufferable, oversexed boss.
464
00:21:42,988 --> 00:21:45,122
Sorry to hear about your STD.
465
00:21:45,156 --> 00:21:47,908
Jeez, you didn't
do me any favors, did you?
466
00:21:47,959 --> 00:21:49,710
Hey, listen,
I'm not fucking around, okay?
467
00:21:49,744 --> 00:21:53,080
You stay away from her, or I will
cut your throat and put it on YouTube.
468
00:21:53,131 --> 00:21:54,715
Whoa! Hey, my friend,
469
00:21:54,749 --> 00:21:56,166
Yeah. We've had a very stressful night.
470
00:21:56,217 --> 00:21:58,385
- Let's just inhale and exhale.
- I'm just saying... Yeah.
471
00:21:58,420 --> 00:22:00,888
God save us from this lunatic.
472
00:22:00,922 --> 00:22:04,224
It's God who is responsible
for this lunatic.
473
00:22:11,933 --> 00:22:13,601
- Hey!
- What? I can't look?
474
00:22:13,652 --> 00:22:15,269
- I'm just looking at her.
- No, don't look.
475
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,688
- Look, I'm not a dog, okay?
- I'm not gonna do anything.
476
00:22:17,690 --> 00:22:19,356
- Just keep it... okay.
- Okay.
477
00:22:20,742 --> 00:22:22,910
"We cannot stand by while our ability
478
00:22:22,944 --> 00:22:25,112
"to reproduce is attacked in this way.
479
00:22:25,163 --> 00:22:28,282
"We will respond by
using our long-range power
480
00:22:28,333 --> 00:22:30,000
"to remove the Zionist state.
481
00:22:30,035 --> 00:22:31,452
"Israel is an illegal entity."
482
00:22:31,503 --> 00:22:33,203
Did he just say "remove"?
483
00:22:33,254 --> 00:22:34,538
Yes, "remove."
484
00:22:34,589 --> 00:22:36,707
What are the range on their missiles?
485
00:22:36,758 --> 00:22:39,877
Well, we've just discovered they've
acquired the ability to reach Tel Aviv.
486
00:22:39,879 --> 00:22:41,629
Terrific.
487
00:22:42,464 --> 00:22:44,632
"Tonight, we have made history.
488
00:22:44,683 --> 00:22:47,718
"Tomorrow, a new day dawns on our nation.
489
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:49,103
"Good night.
490
00:22:49,971 --> 00:22:51,271
"God is great."
491
00:22:51,306 --> 00:22:53,190
Thank you. Great job.
492
00:22:54,225 --> 00:22:55,776
Get me her details.
493
00:22:57,445 --> 00:22:59,229
Prime minister of Israel on the line.
494
00:23:00,532 --> 00:23:01,649
Oy.
495
00:23:06,571 --> 00:23:08,706
Oh, dude, I'm really nervous.
496
00:23:08,740 --> 00:23:10,457
This isn't my thing, man.
497
00:23:10,492 --> 00:23:11,575
I just fly jets
498
00:23:11,577 --> 00:23:13,160
and blow shit up. Why'd they choose me?
499
00:23:13,211 --> 00:23:14,962
Are you kidding me, man?
500
00:23:14,996 --> 00:23:17,047
After downing that Iranian arms shipment,
501
00:23:17,082 --> 00:23:18,582
you're a rock star, brother.
502
00:23:18,633 --> 00:23:20,034
They got plans for you.
503
00:23:20,068 --> 00:23:23,253
Unless those plans include
debt relief, I'm not interested.
504
00:23:23,255 --> 00:23:24,421
Hey, come on, buddy.
505
00:23:24,423 --> 00:23:26,590
This is your chance to shine a light on it.
506
00:23:26,592 --> 00:23:29,143
You just relax and be the Z-Pak.
507
00:23:31,146 --> 00:23:33,097
- What the hell was that?
- A Xanax.
508
00:23:33,099 --> 00:23:34,565
Oh, hell, yeah. Gimme one of those.
509
00:23:34,599 --> 00:23:36,517
You're like a pharmacy, man.
510
00:23:37,435 --> 00:23:38,852
Damn, I love flying with you.
511
00:23:38,903 --> 00:23:41,155
Oh, man, I am having the
worst fucking day of my life.
512
00:23:41,189 --> 00:23:43,657
20 knots over
the deck. Cleared for launch.
513
00:23:43,692 --> 00:23:45,109
Verified.
514
00:23:54,130 --> 00:23:56,882
Avi, I understand your concern.
515
00:23:57,917 --> 00:24:00,886
Avi, please. No, no, slow down.
516
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,504
Okay. I...
517
00:24:02,555 --> 00:24:05,340
We're in the process of finding
out exactly what he meant.
518
00:24:05,391 --> 00:24:07,392
"Remove" could mean 10
different things in Urdu.
519
00:24:07,427 --> 00:24:09,094
You know these tribal languages.
520
00:24:09,096 --> 00:24:11,430
I promise we will not let that happen.
521
00:24:11,481 --> 00:24:14,733
No, as soon as I hear
anything, I will call you.
522
00:24:14,767 --> 00:24:18,103
Yes, I promise that,
unlike your grandchildren,
523
00:24:18,105 --> 00:24:19,988
I will call you.
524
00:24:20,023 --> 00:24:22,908
Avi, don't do that. Just wait.
525
00:24:26,863 --> 00:24:30,749
He says that unless we launch
a preemptive strike, he will.
526
00:24:33,536 --> 00:24:36,288
Walter, talk to me. Mr.
President, I am in the process
527
00:24:36,290 --> 00:24:38,757
of tracking down moderate elements
in the Pakistani government.
528
00:24:38,791 --> 00:24:40,542
Give me 24 hours to find a different way.
529
00:24:40,593 --> 00:24:41,960
We don't have 24 hours, Mr. President.
530
00:24:42,011 --> 00:24:44,463
We need to remove those weapons now.
531
00:24:44,465 --> 00:24:47,132
Spoken like a true chicken
hawk. You're out of line, Walter.
532
00:24:47,134 --> 00:24:49,468
Am I? I was on the goddamn roof
533
00:24:49,470 --> 00:24:51,219
defending the last chopper out of Saigon
534
00:24:51,270 --> 00:24:52,554
before my 19th birthday.
535
00:24:52,605 --> 00:24:55,474
When you were 19, you were
date-raping Radcliffe girls.
536
00:24:55,525 --> 00:24:57,476
Fuck you. Or was it Harvard boys?
537
00:24:57,527 --> 00:24:59,047
Lucky for you, your prick was so small,
538
00:24:59,062 --> 00:25:00,562
they didn't have the
heart to press charges.
539
00:25:00,613 --> 00:25:02,864
- Fuck you! Fuck you!
- Fuck you. Fuck you!
540
00:25:02,899 --> 00:25:04,950
- Fuck you!
- Enough!
541
00:25:05,818 --> 00:25:07,069
What is it with you two?
542
00:25:08,037 --> 00:25:09,571
He started it.
543
00:25:12,075 --> 00:25:14,042
I need better information!
544
00:25:14,077 --> 00:25:16,378
I need a tie breaker!
545
00:25:16,412 --> 00:25:18,163
Fuck you.
546
00:25:20,717 --> 00:25:22,000
Grab the menu book,
547
00:25:22,051 --> 00:25:23,752
'cause these hungry little
beasts need to be fed
548
00:25:23,803 --> 00:25:25,303
or they're gonna blow up the planet.
549
00:26:07,513 --> 00:26:09,347
Oh, shit.
550
00:26:10,900 --> 00:26:12,684
Oh, yeah, mamacita.
551
00:26:13,652 --> 00:26:16,321
This shit is solid gold.
552
00:26:23,612 --> 00:26:26,414
I want Paris for this!
553
00:26:28,117 --> 00:26:30,585
What are you doing?
554
00:26:30,619 --> 00:26:32,871
Uh... you couldn't sleep either?
555
00:26:32,873 --> 00:26:35,039
You are CIA. I knew it!
556
00:26:35,041 --> 00:26:37,625
Uncle Hasan, I can explain.
I had to fax my dad.
557
00:26:37,676 --> 00:26:39,644
I get homesick! Oh, God!
558
00:26:39,678 --> 00:26:41,930
Stop, god damn it! That hurts!
559
00:26:41,964 --> 00:26:43,214
Oh!
560
00:26:48,437 --> 00:26:51,473
- Damn it!
- I'm sorry. What the fuck is going on?
561
00:26:51,524 --> 00:26:52,941
He's attacking me!
562
00:26:52,975 --> 00:26:55,727
This medical file on Umair Zaman
563
00:26:55,729 --> 00:26:57,979
just came in from a source on the ground,
564
00:26:58,030 --> 00:26:59,647
Alex Talbot.
565
00:27:00,566 --> 00:27:03,785
- Who's he?
- He's a low-level embassy guy.
566
00:27:03,819 --> 00:27:07,405
He works on clean water, malaria
projects... stuff like that.
567
00:27:07,456 --> 00:27:08,706
One of your guys, Walter?
568
00:27:08,741 --> 00:27:10,575
Never heard of him.
569
00:27:10,626 --> 00:27:12,544
Alex Talbot.
570
00:27:12,578 --> 00:27:15,130
So he's CIA under diplomatic cover?
571
00:27:15,164 --> 00:27:17,665
No. He applied twice, and we rejected him
572
00:27:17,750 --> 00:27:21,469
'cause there were concerns he wouldn't
hold up well under enhanced interrogation.
573
00:27:21,504 --> 00:27:23,421
Well, he's working for you now.
574
00:27:23,472 --> 00:27:26,307
He risked life for country to get us this.
575
00:27:26,342 --> 00:27:27,842
This is page three of 30.
576
00:27:27,877 --> 00:27:29,811
This... This is incomplete.
577
00:27:29,845 --> 00:27:32,096
Well, transmission ended abruptly.
578
00:27:32,148 --> 00:27:33,765
We're trying to pinpoint
the phone number now.
579
00:27:33,816 --> 00:27:35,600
Does anybody object to Thai food?
580
00:27:35,651 --> 00:27:38,102
- Jesus.
- Just circle which one.
581
00:27:39,522 --> 00:27:41,940
The summary, page two.
582
00:27:41,942 --> 00:27:44,442
Zaman's been treated
for episodes of delusion
583
00:27:44,444 --> 00:27:46,194
and personality disorder
584
00:27:46,245 --> 00:27:48,029
going back a decade.
585
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,198
He suffered a full psychotic break.
586
00:27:50,249 --> 00:27:52,834
- There's your tie breaker!
- How is that a tie breaker?
587
00:27:52,868 --> 00:27:55,787
The man is psychotic and he's
got his finger on the button.
588
00:27:55,838 --> 00:27:58,506
While I admit that is cause
for concern, Mr. President,
589
00:27:58,541 --> 00:28:00,792
the answer is not to start global war.
590
00:28:17,276 --> 00:28:19,394
Pierce, set your plan in motion.
591
00:28:19,445 --> 00:28:21,312
Good lord.
592
00:28:21,363 --> 00:28:23,982
I think you're making a
big mistake, Mr. President.
593
00:28:28,087 --> 00:28:29,370
We're going rogue.
594
00:28:29,405 --> 00:28:33,208
Get me in touch with my old
friend Haroon Raja in the ISI.
595
00:28:33,242 --> 00:28:35,159
If we have any hope of averting armageddon,
596
00:28:35,161 --> 00:28:37,161
that two-faced Paki weasel is it.
597
00:28:37,163 --> 00:28:38,413
Two-faced Paki weasel.
598
00:28:38,464 --> 00:28:41,082
But... You... Don't call
him a two-faced Paki weasel.
599
00:28:41,133 --> 00:28:42,300
No, no, of course not. Okay.
600
00:28:43,669 --> 00:28:44,919
Avi.
601
00:28:47,506 --> 00:28:49,140
Oh, man.
602
00:28:49,174 --> 00:28:51,843
The Xanax is starting to kick in!
603
00:28:51,845 --> 00:28:53,445
Wait a second, this can't be right.
604
00:28:53,479 --> 00:28:54,846
Our target's right in the middle
605
00:28:54,848 --> 00:28:56,814
of a residential district in Islamabad.
606
00:28:56,849 --> 00:28:58,683
Yeah. Went over that in pre-flight.
607
00:28:58,685 --> 00:29:01,603
I'm gonna reconfirm. Flight Op!
608
00:29:01,654 --> 00:29:03,354
This is Hammer One Nine, do you read?
609
00:29:03,356 --> 00:29:05,023
Go ahead, Hammer One Nine.
610
00:29:05,074 --> 00:29:06,608
Yeah, I got an
issue with this target.
611
00:29:06,659 --> 00:29:09,277
Looks like it's right in the
middle of a heavily populated area.
612
00:29:09,328 --> 00:29:10,662
Is that correct?
613
00:29:12,331 --> 00:29:14,115
I just got off the phone
with the Chinese ambassador.
614
00:29:14,166 --> 00:29:15,867
He's warning that any
action against Pakistan
615
00:29:15,918 --> 00:29:17,919
will be seen as an act of
aggression against an ally,
616
00:29:17,953 --> 00:29:21,205
claims it gives them license to move
on their disputed border with India.
617
00:29:21,257 --> 00:29:22,674
This plan is already starting to unleash
618
00:29:22,708 --> 00:29:25,677
some major chain reactions, Mr. President.
619
00:29:25,711 --> 00:29:28,546
Indian ambassador
just called. He sounds freaked out,
620
00:29:28,597 --> 00:29:31,182
convinced his country's
next on Zaman's hit list.
621
00:29:31,216 --> 00:29:32,550
They're going on full alert.
622
00:29:32,552 --> 00:29:34,636
Also, soup or egg roll? It comes with.
623
00:29:34,687 --> 00:29:37,772
- Egg roll. No, too greasy. Soup.
- Mm-hmm.
624
00:29:37,806 --> 00:29:40,108
- Actually, I'll take both.
- Yup. Okay.
625
00:29:40,142 --> 00:29:42,443
And I want zero civilian casualties.
626
00:29:42,478 --> 00:29:44,412
Yeah, and I wanna fuck Scarlett Johansson.
627
00:29:44,446 --> 00:29:47,365
Mr. President, there
are no guarantees in war.
628
00:29:47,399 --> 00:29:49,067
I have a high degree of confidence
629
00:29:49,069 --> 00:29:51,402
in the full array of assets we've deployed.
630
00:29:51,453 --> 00:29:53,121
That golf junket you took with your wife
631
00:29:53,155 --> 00:29:55,573
courtesy of Lockheed Martin
is really starting to pay off.
632
00:29:55,624 --> 00:29:57,709
- Excuse me?
- Damn it, Walter.
633
00:29:57,743 --> 00:29:59,210
General Stanton on the screen.
634
00:30:00,245 --> 00:30:02,964
General, who's the tip of the spear?
635
00:30:02,998 --> 00:30:06,050
"Tip of the spear"? What a tool.
636
00:30:06,085 --> 00:30:08,086
Carrier Strike Group 16.
637
00:30:08,137 --> 00:30:09,554
Some of the best pilots this country
638
00:30:09,588 --> 00:30:10,805
has ever sent into harm's way.
639
00:30:10,839 --> 00:30:12,590
I've got a location on Alex Talbot.
640
00:30:12,592 --> 00:30:15,343
It looks like a house in a
residential district in Islamabad.
641
00:30:18,514 --> 00:30:20,098
You've been caught red-handed!
642
00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:23,067
We're all going to be shot
because of this pompous douchebag!
643
00:30:23,102 --> 00:30:24,936
I'm sure you meant that
644
00:30:24,987 --> 00:30:26,654
as the compliment it was intended to be.
645
00:30:29,491 --> 00:30:31,109
It is the army. Shit.
646
00:30:31,111 --> 00:30:32,944
Good-bye, Random House.
- I say we hand him
647
00:30:32,946 --> 00:30:34,245
over to them and be done with it!
648
00:30:34,279 --> 00:30:36,748
You wouldn't happen to have
an attic or a hidden basement?
649
00:30:37,833 --> 00:30:40,451
- Come on, Rafiq. This is insane.
- We're pals.
650
00:30:40,486 --> 00:30:43,121
No pals! He is CIA! I
told you from day one.
651
00:30:43,123 --> 00:30:46,374
Rafiq, come on. We smoked J together.
652
00:30:46,425 --> 00:30:48,893
Mr. Alex, in Pakistan, the army knocking,
653
00:30:48,927 --> 00:30:50,211
that is not good. It's not good.
654
00:30:50,262 --> 00:30:53,014
Okay, everybody just shut up! Let me think!
655
00:30:56,135 --> 00:30:58,102
Shit.
656
00:30:58,137 --> 00:31:01,522
Mr. President, right now I'd
like to show you something
657
00:31:01,557 --> 00:31:03,474
that's gonna put you in the
middle of all the action.
658
00:31:03,525 --> 00:31:05,810
Hello, Mr. President!
659
00:31:06,812 --> 00:31:08,896
Zeke... I mean,
660
00:31:08,947 --> 00:31:10,982
Lieutenant Commander Zeke Tilson here.
661
00:31:10,984 --> 00:31:12,567
Hello, Commander Tilson.
662
00:31:12,618 --> 00:31:15,703
It's an honor, sir, to be chosen
663
00:31:15,738 --> 00:31:18,122
to represent all the brave men and women
664
00:31:18,157 --> 00:31:20,875
who fight for this
country on a daily basis.
665
00:31:20,909 --> 00:31:22,827
And I'd like to take this opportunity...
666
00:31:22,829 --> 00:31:26,164
Oh, shit, man! I
can't feel my fucking face!
667
00:31:26,215 --> 00:31:29,133
Hey, watch your mouth, man! I'm
talking to the fucking Pre...
668
00:31:29,168 --> 00:31:30,835
What's going on?
669
00:31:30,837 --> 00:31:32,470
We... We seem to have lost audio.
670
00:31:37,309 --> 00:31:39,343
Ladies and gentlemen, congratulations.
671
00:31:39,345 --> 00:31:41,929
This plan is off to great
start.
672
00:31:47,403 --> 00:31:49,987
I think I mixed up the pills, man.
673
00:31:50,022 --> 00:31:51,906
Yeah, well, what the hell did we take?
674
00:31:51,940 --> 00:31:54,442
If it's what I think it is,
we're in for one hell of a ride.
675
00:31:55,661 --> 00:31:57,328
I think I just shit my pants.