1
00:00:00,511 --> 00:00:02,710
[Dean Martin's
Ain't That a Kick in the Head?]
2
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:18,251
(Buddy) People kill themselves
for lots of reasons.
3
00:00:18,253 --> 00:00:20,319
Me?
I just have two.
4
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:22,188
- [grunts]
- ♪ How lucky can one guy be? ♪
5
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:24,524
All I need is one day.
Hand to God.
6
00:00:24,526 --> 00:00:27,860
I am getting a big inheritance
tomorrow from my Uncle Doug.
7
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:30,527
He made his money in tires.
High-end radials,
8
00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:31,980
not that cheap crap.
9
00:00:32,016 --> 00:00:33,299
Take his balls.
10
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:36,461
Whoa, whoa.
Can't we start with a pinky?
11
00:00:36,497 --> 00:00:38,905
Guys, come on.
12
00:00:40,149 --> 00:00:41,356
Oh, you a dead man, Buddy!
13
00:00:41,392 --> 00:00:43,598
One: I don't have
long to live anyway.
14
00:00:43,634 --> 00:00:45,945
Hey, LeeAnne, you know how
you're always saying
15
00:00:45,947 --> 00:00:47,183
- we should take a vacation?
- Mm-hmm.
16
00:00:47,219 --> 00:00:48,614
Let's go.
Right now.
17
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:50,301
Oh, God, what did you do
this time?
18
00:00:50,337 --> 00:00:51,640
Nothing. Look, I'll
take you to Vegas.
19
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:53,203
We'll sit by the pool.
I'll take you to some shows.
20
00:00:53,239 --> 00:00:54,153
Buddy.
21
00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,359
All right, look.
I'm in serious trouble.
22
00:00:56,395 --> 00:00:57,924
There's some guys after me.
We gotta leave town.
23
00:00:57,926 --> 00:00:59,551
How can you pull
this crap on me now?
24
00:00:59,587 --> 00:01:01,260
You know that my mother
is coming to visit.
25
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,995
I'm sorry, baby.
But we gotta go.
26
00:01:02,997 --> 00:01:04,998
- No.
- What?
27
00:01:05,034 --> 00:01:08,568
Buddy, I love you, but I
can't live like this anymore.
28
00:01:10,557 --> 00:01:14,407
LeeAnne, it'll get better.
I promise.
29
00:01:14,409 --> 00:01:15,862
How many times
have you said that?
30
00:01:15,898 --> 00:01:18,987
And it never does.
31
00:01:19,023 --> 00:01:22,458
I'm sorry.
32
00:01:22,494 --> 00:01:25,218
We're done.
33
00:01:25,490 --> 00:01:29,993
And two:
I have nothing to live for.
34
00:01:41,593 --> 00:01:43,169
[tires screech]
35
00:01:43,443 --> 00:01:44,609
(man)
Stop!
36
00:01:44,645 --> 00:01:45,578
Don't!
37
00:01:46,153 --> 00:01:47,810
Whatever the problem is,
it is not worth
38
00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:49,145
killing yourself over.
39
00:01:49,181 --> 00:01:51,248
How the fuck
do you know?
40
00:01:51,284 --> 00:01:52,292
Wait, wait!
41
00:01:52,328 --> 00:01:54,929
I-I know about despair.
42
00:01:55,194 --> 00:01:57,761
A month ago
I had nothing.
43
00:01:57,797 --> 00:02:00,825
No job, no friends,
or family to speak of.
44
00:02:00,861 --> 00:02:04,414
Now I am on my way to
a new job in a new city.
45
00:02:04,450 --> 00:02:07,077
Look, pal.
I'm gonna jump anyway.
46
00:02:07,113 --> 00:02:08,961
There's no reason
to bore me to death.
47
00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,652
The point is that
it is never too late
48
00:02:10,688 --> 00:02:12,264
for redemption.
49
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:14,066
Have you thought about
asking God for help?
50
00:02:14,102 --> 00:02:15,764
I don't believe
in God.
51
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,147
I am sorry you feel that way,
because God provides.
52
00:02:18,183 --> 00:02:21,276
You just have to seize the
opportunities that he gives you.
53
00:02:21,312 --> 00:02:23,714
Yeah, well,
maybe in my next life.
54
00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:24,777
Good luck on the new gig.
55
00:02:24,813 --> 00:02:26,128
No, no, please,
please, please.
56
00:02:26,164 --> 00:02:27,630
What do you care?
57
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,432
You don't give a shit
about me.
58
00:02:29,491 --> 00:02:31,157
Yes, I do.
59
00:02:31,283 --> 00:02:32,316
I'll prove it.
60
00:02:32,427 --> 00:02:33,920
Hey, what are you
doing, man?
61
00:02:33,956 --> 00:02:35,420
I'm gonna come over
there so we can
62
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:39,075
both come back toge...
[screaming]
63
00:02:39,111 --> 00:02:41,741
- [water splashes]
- Oh, shit!
64
00:02:41,777 --> 00:02:43,550
Oh, God!
65
00:02:44,518 --> 00:02:45,732
Whoa!
66
00:02:45,768 --> 00:02:49,107
[car beeping]
67
00:02:49,143 --> 00:02:51,654
(man's voice echoing) God provides.
You just have to seize
68
00:02:51,690 --> 00:02:54,473
the opportunities that
he gives you.
69
00:03:03,151 --> 00:03:08,336
[cell phone rings]
70
00:03:08,372 --> 00:03:09,184
_
71
00:03:12,084 --> 00:03:13,016
Hello?
72
00:03:13,052 --> 00:03:14,151
(Dora)
Jonathan?
73
00:03:14,187 --> 00:03:15,787
Hi, it's Dora.
74
00:03:15,823 --> 00:03:18,190
Oh, my gosh, it's so nice
to finally hear your voice.
75
00:03:18,226 --> 00:03:19,825
Just wondering where
you are.
76
00:03:19,861 --> 00:03:22,955
Uh, St. Vincent Bridge.
77
00:03:22,991 --> 00:03:24,036
(Dora)
Good, you're on schedule.
78
00:03:24,072 --> 00:03:25,315
What do you say
I meet you at the house
79
00:03:25,351 --> 00:03:27,918
tomorrow morning,
10 A.M.?
80
00:03:30,081 --> 00:03:32,114
Why not?
81
00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:33,633
What's that address again?
82
00:03:33,669 --> 00:03:34,539
[Canned Heat's Going Up the Country]
83
00:03:34,575 --> 00:03:36,519
♪ I'm goin' up the country ♪
84
00:03:36,555 --> 00:03:40,423
♪ Baby,
don't you want to go? ♪
85
00:03:40,518 --> 00:03:42,379
♪ I'm goin' up the country ♪
86
00:03:42,415 --> 00:03:45,965
♪ Baby,
don't you want to go? ♪
87
00:03:46,290 --> 00:03:52,144
♪ I'm goin' to some place
where I've never been before ♪
88
00:03:52,234 --> 00:03:54,135
♪ I'm gonna leave this city ♪
89
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:57,970
♪ Got to get away ♪
90
00:03:58,122 --> 00:04:00,117
♪ I'm gonna leave this city ♪
91
00:04:00,194 --> 00:04:03,696
♪ Got to get away ♪
92
00:04:03,992 --> 00:04:05,832
♪ All this fussin'
and fightin', man ♪
93
00:04:05,902 --> 00:04:07,770
♪ You know I sure
can't stay ♪
94
00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:10,200
(Buddy) My plan was to take over
Jonathan Barlow's life
95
00:04:10,236 --> 00:04:12,868
for a few days
till I figured out my next move.
96
00:04:12,927 --> 00:04:14,444
Or until I got caught.
97
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:16,835
Which could be a matter
of seconds.
98
00:04:16,871 --> 00:04:18,218
(Dora)
Well, hello, there.
99
00:04:18,254 --> 00:04:20,132
I'm Dora.
100
00:04:20,168 --> 00:04:21,901
Yeah, come on in.
101
00:04:23,231 --> 00:04:25,838
You know, you're different
than I pictured you.
102
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,025
Yeah, how's that?
103
00:04:27,061 --> 00:04:27,986
I don't know.
You're just...
104
00:04:28,022 --> 00:04:30,236
You're more...
rugged.
105
00:04:30,272 --> 00:04:31,372
[clears throat]
106
00:04:31,523 --> 00:04:34,932
- Thanks, I guess.
- Yeah.
107
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:36,072
Nice place.
108
00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:37,497
Ahh, I'm so glad
you like it.
109
00:04:37,533 --> 00:04:42,254
We hope you enjoy living
here for a long, long time.
110
00:04:42,290 --> 00:04:45,187
Wait...
this is mine?
111
00:04:45,223 --> 00:04:48,432
Yes, I specified in my emails
that we would provide housing.
112
00:04:48,468 --> 00:04:50,701
One of the perks
of the job.
113
00:04:50,737 --> 00:04:52,451
So tell me more
about this job.
114
00:04:52,471 --> 00:04:56,041
Oh, I imagine it's pretty
much like your last one.
115
00:04:56,077 --> 00:04:57,979
So, if you'll
follow me.
116
00:04:58,015 --> 00:05:00,433
In here is
my office area.
117
00:05:00,435 --> 00:05:02,965
As your assistant,
I am usually here from 9 to 5.
118
00:05:03,001 --> 00:05:06,301
But I have my own key, so you
don't have to worry about me.
119
00:05:06,337 --> 00:05:07,719
You like birds, huh?
120
00:05:07,755 --> 00:05:10,255
You know me already.
121
00:05:10,485 --> 00:05:11,918
Listen, I don't mean
to be too forward,
122
00:05:12,046 --> 00:05:13,367
but do you think that
you could give me
123
00:05:13,403 --> 00:05:16,457
a sneak preview of what you're
gonna talk about on Sunday?
124
00:05:16,493 --> 00:05:19,263
- Talk about?
- In your sermon, Reverend.
125
00:05:19,299 --> 00:05:21,385
- Jesus Christ.
- I assumed that,
126
00:05:21,466 --> 00:05:23,309
but what aspect?
127
00:05:23,382 --> 00:05:25,817
I think I'd rather
leave it a surprise.
128
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,625
A man of mystery.
129
00:05:28,685 --> 00:05:30,352
I like it.
130
00:05:30,388 --> 00:05:31,152
[laughs]
131
00:05:31,188 --> 00:05:31,860
So, what do you say?
132
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:34,344
You ready to meet
the church staff?
133
00:05:34,380 --> 00:05:35,856
Ready as I'll ever be.
134
00:05:35,892 --> 00:05:37,137
[Aretha Franklin's
Son of a Preacher Man]
135
00:05:37,173 --> 00:05:39,098
♪ The only one
who could ever reach me ♪
136
00:05:39,134 --> 00:05:41,301
♪ Was the son
of a preacher man ♪
137
00:05:41,337 --> 00:05:44,548
♪ The only boy
who could ever teach me ♪
138
00:05:44,584 --> 00:05:48,609
(Dora) This is Alden Schmidt,
he is our Church President.
139
00:05:48,689 --> 00:05:51,487
Alexa Cummings,
she's the Treasurer.
140
00:05:51,523 --> 00:05:54,390
And Russell Kerry,
he is our Secretary.
141
00:05:54,426 --> 00:05:55,460
(Schmidt)
Uh, Reverend Barlow...
142
00:05:55,496 --> 00:05:57,528
Oh, he prefers
Jonathan.
143
00:05:57,564 --> 00:06:00,091
Actually, you can
just call me Buddy.
144
00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:02,771
It'll be easier
for all of us to remember.
145
00:06:02,807 --> 00:06:06,991
Well, um, as you may know,
uh, Buddy,
146
00:06:07,027 --> 00:06:09,023
we have spent
the better part of a year
147
00:06:09,059 --> 00:06:11,240
searching for
Pastor Willis' replacement.
148
00:06:11,276 --> 00:06:13,091
So we're very excited
that you're here.
149
00:06:13,127 --> 00:06:15,068
Super excited.
150
00:06:15,104 --> 00:06:20,980
Still, we need to talk about
what happened in Florida.
151
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,414
What do you mean?
152
00:06:22,737 --> 00:06:25,278
Well, the... the problem
that you had
153
00:06:25,314 --> 00:06:26,700
with your last
congregation.
154
00:06:26,736 --> 00:06:28,716
We appreciate you being
up-front with that.
155
00:06:28,752 --> 00:06:31,002
Oh, yeah, well, honesty
is the best policy,
156
00:06:31,038 --> 00:06:33,320
especially for a man
of the cloth...
157
00:06:33,356 --> 00:06:35,094
which is what I am.
158
00:06:35,096 --> 00:06:36,729
I, for one, think you
were very courageous.
159
00:06:36,731 --> 00:06:39,030
It can't be easy for
a religious leader to come out.
160
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,047
Of what?
161
00:06:40,083 --> 00:06:42,083
[laughs]
162
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:46,063
- [laughing]
- Oh, that. Yes.
163
00:06:46,154 --> 00:06:48,254
Don't worry, you won't
face any harassment here.
164
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,991
We are very proud
to have a gay pastor.
165
00:06:51,027 --> 00:06:52,632
And super excited.
166
00:06:52,668 --> 00:06:55,309
That being said, again,
167
00:06:55,723 --> 00:06:58,726
we are a conservative
congregation and we prefer
168
00:06:58,762 --> 00:07:03,711
to uphold the tradition of
Ladner Trinity Lutheran Church.
169
00:07:03,747 --> 00:07:05,190
Uh, what tradition is that?
170
00:07:05,226 --> 00:07:09,337
Well, uh, the gay men
and the lesbians
171
00:07:09,373 --> 00:07:11,564
be allowed to serve
as clergy as long as
172
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,804
they remain
sexually inactive.
173
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,400
Not a problem.
174
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:20,095
Oh, so you're not planning
on engaging in any...
175
00:07:20,131 --> 00:07:22,350
homosexual activities?
176
00:07:22,386 --> 00:07:23,979
You have my word.
177
00:07:24,015 --> 00:07:25,393
Excellent.
178
00:07:25,429 --> 00:07:28,198
All right, come on then.
We'll take you on the tour.
179
00:07:28,264 --> 00:07:29,482
Okay.
180
00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:36,853
Not everyone feels
that's a hard and fast rule.
181
00:07:36,889 --> 00:07:38,122
Okay.
182
00:07:44,021 --> 00:07:48,266
"LeeAnne, please forgive me.
I had no choice. Buddy."
183
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:49,675
We found that in the front
seat of his vehicle
184
00:07:49,711 --> 00:07:51,371
tucked into his wallet.
185
00:07:51,407 --> 00:07:53,881
I can't believe he
jumped off the bridge.
186
00:07:53,883 --> 00:07:54,805
Really?
187
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:57,001
Oh, St. Vincent is
the second most popular place
188
00:07:57,037 --> 00:07:58,860
to commit suicide
in the country.
189
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,118
People come from
all over to do it.
190
00:08:01,154 --> 00:08:02,626
Some even take a bus
or a cab just to...
191
00:08:02,662 --> 00:08:04,407
Tim.
192
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:07,539
Had Mr. Dobbs shown any
signs of depression lately?
193
00:08:07,575 --> 00:08:10,692
No, but he was scared.
194
00:08:10,728 --> 00:08:12,651
He said some people
were out to get him.
195
00:08:12,687 --> 00:08:13,724
What people?
196
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,047
I don't know.
197
00:08:15,083 --> 00:08:18,114
Even if he jumped, it doesn't
mean for sure he's dead.
198
00:08:18,150 --> 00:08:20,973
- Right?
- The fatality rate is 98%.
199
00:08:21,009 --> 00:08:24,368
When he hit the water he was
going 86 miles an hour,
200
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,046
so there's a good chance
his neck would have snapped
201
00:08:27,082 --> 00:08:28,265
or his skull
would have been crushed.
202
00:08:28,301 --> 00:08:30,218
Tim.
203
00:08:30,874 --> 00:08:34,104
The good news is, between
the sharks and the tide,
204
00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:35,359
we're probably never
gonna find his body,
205
00:08:35,395 --> 00:08:38,518
so you're not gonna have
to see how mangled he got.
206
00:08:38,554 --> 00:08:41,071
That's your idea
of good news?
207
00:08:41,107 --> 00:08:42,216
If we have any further
developments,
208
00:08:42,252 --> 00:08:43,498
we'll give you a call.
209
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,583
You call.
210
00:08:45,619 --> 00:08:47,957
Not him.
211
00:08:47,993 --> 00:08:50,762
[mellow music]
212
00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:52,834
(Buddy) I knew I couldn't fool
these people for long,
213
00:08:52,870 --> 00:08:54,690
so I figured I'd empty
Barlow's bank account,
214
00:08:54,726 --> 00:08:56,606
and get out of here
as fast as I could.
215
00:08:56,642 --> 00:08:58,982
But first I had to crack
his password.
216
00:08:59,018 --> 00:09:02,490
Jonathan, my friend,
looks like you had a good life.
217
00:09:02,526 --> 00:09:04,886
Sorry it had to end.
218
00:09:05,615 --> 00:09:08,195
Now how the hell do I get
your money?
219
00:09:09,764 --> 00:09:11,043
_
220
00:09:13,529 --> 00:09:14,420
Come on, Rusty.
221
00:09:14,456 --> 00:09:16,333
[computer bonks]
222
00:09:16,369 --> 00:09:17,731
[knocking at door]
223
00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:19,300
Come in.
224
00:09:19,302 --> 00:09:20,544
- Hi-ya.
- Hi.
225
00:09:20,580 --> 00:09:22,355
Marla Simmons,
a congregant,
226
00:09:22,391 --> 00:09:23,412
is here to see you.
227
00:09:23,448 --> 00:09:25,529
She says that it's
a personal matter.
228
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,608
Send her in.
229
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:28,843
To your bedroom?
230
00:09:28,845 --> 00:09:32,013
Uh, no, that would
be wrong.
231
00:09:32,015 --> 00:09:34,215
Where did Pastor Willis
meet people?
232
00:09:34,217 --> 00:09:35,450
In the study.
233
00:09:35,452 --> 00:09:37,452
Let's do it there.
234
00:09:39,235 --> 00:09:40,965
It's my son Jasper.
235
00:09:41,001 --> 00:09:43,191
I think he's headed
on a path to Satan.
236
00:09:43,193 --> 00:09:45,359
That sounds kind of dark.
237
00:09:45,361 --> 00:09:47,595
I found this
in his room.
238
00:09:47,597 --> 00:09:49,208
I think it's marijuana.
239
00:09:49,244 --> 00:09:50,874
High quality too.
240
00:09:50,910 --> 00:09:53,468
How do you know that?
241
00:09:53,470 --> 00:09:55,711
Missionary work
in Jamaica.
242
00:09:55,747 --> 00:09:57,367
I'm scared, Reverend.
243
00:09:57,403 --> 00:09:58,872
Jasper has always been
such a good boy.
244
00:09:58,908 --> 00:10:02,817
But lately he's got problems.
He needs help.
245
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:05,422
Look, just because your son
scored a bag of
246
00:10:05,458 --> 00:10:08,887
what appears to be
Blue Dragon Ultimate Kush
247
00:10:08,923 --> 00:10:11,066
doesn't mean he's on a path
to Satan.
248
00:10:11,102 --> 00:10:12,751
It's not just that.
249
00:10:12,787 --> 00:10:17,030
I came home and found him
having relations with...
250
00:10:17,066 --> 00:10:19,069
A girl?
251
00:10:19,105 --> 00:10:20,873
A woman?
252
00:10:20,909 --> 00:10:22,271
Boy?
253
00:10:22,307 --> 00:10:23,264
Cantaloupe.
254
00:10:23,266 --> 00:10:25,032
[laughing]
Cantaloupe?
255
00:10:25,034 --> 00:10:29,070
I'm... I'm sorry,
how does one...
256
00:10:29,072 --> 00:10:31,130
He said if you bore
a hole in the fruit,
257
00:10:31,166 --> 00:10:32,613
and put it in the microwave,
258
00:10:32,649 --> 00:10:35,527
it provides a sensation
of being with a woman.
259
00:10:35,563 --> 00:10:36,744
That works?
260
00:10:36,746 --> 00:10:38,680
I don't know.
261
00:10:38,716 --> 00:10:40,023
I just thought maybe
you could talk to him,
262
00:10:40,059 --> 00:10:42,081
- set him straight.
- Me?
263
00:10:42,117 --> 00:10:45,250
He needs a male role model,
please.
264
00:10:45,286 --> 00:10:46,672
Okay.
265
00:10:46,708 --> 00:10:47,737
I'll give it a shot.
266
00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,233
Well, thank you.
267
00:10:51,124 --> 00:10:52,299
What should I do
with this?
268
00:10:52,335 --> 00:10:54,896
You don't need to deal
with this burden.
269
00:10:54,977 --> 00:10:56,504
Leave it with me.
270
00:10:59,202 --> 00:11:01,035
[inhales deeply]
271
00:11:06,973 --> 00:11:09,140
Hello?
272
00:11:16,106 --> 00:11:17,961
_
273
00:11:17,963 --> 00:11:20,297
Oh, my God.
274
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:26,553
They got everything, my iPhone,
my laptop, Buddy's TV.
275
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:29,437
Clearly whoever did this isn't
aware of Mr. Dobbs' demise.
276
00:11:29,473 --> 00:11:31,274
I'm afraid
they might come back.
277
00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:32,675
They always do.
278
00:11:32,711 --> 00:11:35,605
And that's when things
get really ugly.
279
00:11:35,641 --> 00:11:38,873
Um, who said you could
take one of my sodas?
280
00:11:38,909 --> 00:11:40,408
I told you
not to bring him.
281
00:11:40,410 --> 00:11:41,209
I have to.
282
00:11:41,211 --> 00:11:42,476
He's the Captain's nephew.
283
00:11:42,478 --> 00:11:43,978
Listen, I know
you've been having
284
00:11:43,980 --> 00:11:45,142
a really tough
time lately.
285
00:11:45,178 --> 00:11:49,684
If you ever need to talk
or maybe get a drink...
286
00:11:50,129 --> 00:11:52,463
Are you shitting me?
287
00:11:52,622 --> 00:11:54,762
My apartment is trashed,
288
00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:57,558
the man I love is dead because
I wasn't there for him,
289
00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:59,792
and you're hitting on me?
290
00:11:59,828 --> 00:12:01,816
Dude...
291
00:12:01,852 --> 00:12:03,852
inappropriate.
292
00:12:09,821 --> 00:12:12,808
(Buddy) The melon banger's weed
was primo.
293
00:12:12,844 --> 00:12:15,458
I thought about all that had
gone down in the last 24 hours,
294
00:12:15,494 --> 00:12:18,618
and my mind kept
coming back to one thing.
295
00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:20,970
I had to let LeeAnne know
I was all right.
296
00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:25,019
[line ringing]
297
00:12:25,021 --> 00:12:27,294
LeeAnne... [coughs]
it's me.
298
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:29,074
I'm alive.
299
00:12:29,110 --> 00:12:31,057
LeeAnne?
300
00:12:31,093 --> 00:12:33,126
[knocking at window]
301
00:12:33,218 --> 00:12:35,685
I saw your light on.
302
00:12:40,117 --> 00:12:41,021
Hey, how's it going?
303
00:12:41,057 --> 00:12:43,445
Yeah, I'm sorry
to bother. I...
304
00:12:43,481 --> 00:12:44,369
Are you okay?
305
00:12:44,405 --> 00:12:46,807
Your eyes are very red.
306
00:12:46,843 --> 00:12:49,719
Oh, yeah, yeah,
I'm just... I'm tired.
307
00:12:49,755 --> 00:12:51,312
May I come in?
308
00:12:52,136 --> 00:12:53,202
[sniffs]
309
00:12:53,238 --> 00:12:55,638
Oof, what's that smell?
310
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:59,060
[sniffs]
Uh, I think it's a skunk.
311
00:12:59,096 --> 00:13:01,258
Boy, must be right
under the house, huh?
312
00:13:01,294 --> 00:13:02,644
Yeah, why don't you
have a seat?
313
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,126
- Oh, thanks.
- What can I do for you?
314
00:13:04,162 --> 00:13:06,659
Well, it's my daughter
Isabella.
315
00:13:06,695 --> 00:13:09,451
She and her husband have
been having terrible
316
00:13:09,487 --> 00:13:11,896
financial difficulties.
It's affecting their marriage.
317
00:13:11,932 --> 00:13:14,101
She says they fight
all the time now.
318
00:13:14,103 --> 00:13:17,532
Oh, that sucks.
319
00:13:17,568 --> 00:13:20,952
Well, I am one who believes
that in times of crisis
320
00:13:20,988 --> 00:13:23,579
it's God's word
that pulls us through.
321
00:13:23,615 --> 00:13:24,763
- Yes.
- And I was hoping
322
00:13:24,799 --> 00:13:28,295
that you could help
by giving them some scripture.
323
00:13:28,331 --> 00:13:29,450
Some what?
324
00:13:29,486 --> 00:13:30,887
Scripture.
325
00:13:30,923 --> 00:13:34,222
Oh, scripture.
Sure.
326
00:13:34,258 --> 00:13:36,824
I love that stuff.
It's awesome.
327
00:13:36,860 --> 00:13:39,394
Reverend, could you give
Isabella a passage
328
00:13:39,430 --> 00:13:41,647
from the Bible, please?
329
00:13:41,683 --> 00:13:43,963
Yes, I can do that.
330
00:13:43,999 --> 00:13:47,398
I just... I don't
have a Bible.
331
00:13:47,434 --> 00:13:49,436
[stammering]
332
00:13:49,472 --> 00:13:52,006
Oh, good.
There's one.
333
00:13:53,743 --> 00:13:56,243
I know just the passage.
334
00:13:59,532 --> 00:14:00,731
Here.
335
00:14:01,277 --> 00:14:04,402
I think she'll find this
very helpful.
336
00:14:04,457 --> 00:14:06,157
All right.
337
00:14:06,361 --> 00:14:08,582
At... Well... this is...
338
00:14:08,618 --> 00:14:12,531
it's just a list of people
who begat other people.
339
00:14:12,567 --> 00:14:17,164
What has that got to do with
Isabella's financial problems?
340
00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:20,968
I can't do all the work,
my son.
341
00:14:24,979 --> 00:14:26,995
(Buddy) I had a feeling
Schmidt was onto me.
342
00:14:27,031 --> 00:14:28,280
But I couldn't run
with no money,
343
00:14:28,316 --> 00:14:31,129
and I still hadn't cracked
Barlow's password.
344
00:14:31,165 --> 00:14:34,807
So I thought I'd take one of
his credit cards for a test run.
345
00:14:36,611 --> 00:14:38,553
I'm sorry, I can't swipe
a credit card
346
00:14:38,589 --> 00:14:39,523
without a picture ID.
347
00:14:39,559 --> 00:14:40,699
It's okay, Chelsea,
348
00:14:40,735 --> 00:14:42,432
you can make an exception
in this case.
349
00:14:42,468 --> 00:14:45,990
This is Reverend Barlow,
our new Minister.
350
00:14:46,026 --> 00:14:49,353
I'm sorry, Reverend.
Um, I-I didn't know.
351
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,348
Not a problem.
352
00:14:50,384 --> 00:14:52,280
Throw 100 in cash
in there too, okay?
353
00:14:52,316 --> 00:14:53,810
Thanks, Alexa.
354
00:14:53,846 --> 00:14:55,084
You remembered.
355
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:56,945
How could I forget?
356
00:14:56,981 --> 00:14:58,011
Here you go.
357
00:14:58,047 --> 00:15:00,748
Oh, bless you.
358
00:15:01,102 --> 00:15:03,578
So, I have to ask,
why would a good looking,
359
00:15:03,614 --> 00:15:06,038
young Minister choose
Ladner of all places?
360
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:07,645
We're in the middle
of nowhere.
361
00:15:07,681 --> 00:15:09,608
Well, let's just say
when the man upstairs
362
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:11,821
tells you where to go,
you don't argue.
363
00:15:11,857 --> 00:15:13,757
Well, I'm so glad
you listened.
364
00:15:13,793 --> 00:15:15,554
So am I.
365
00:15:15,590 --> 00:15:18,149
Oh, hey... you.
366
00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:19,659
Funny we should run
into each other.
367
00:15:19,695 --> 00:15:21,620
I was just gonna
invite you to dinner.
368
00:15:21,656 --> 00:15:23,687
- Dinner?
- You eat, don't you?
369
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:27,126
And I cook.
So, kismet.
370
00:15:27,128 --> 00:15:28,546
It'll be a great way
for you to meet
371
00:15:28,582 --> 00:15:30,042
some members of
our community.
372
00:15:30,078 --> 00:15:33,301
Oh, so there's gonna
be other people there?
373
00:15:33,337 --> 00:15:36,807
Yes, silly, I'm not
asking you on a date.
374
00:15:36,843 --> 00:15:38,201
And we should get
together too.
375
00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:40,376
As Head of the Welcoming
Committee, it is my job
376
00:15:40,412 --> 00:15:41,901
to make sure you
feel at home here.
377
00:15:41,937 --> 00:15:43,861
I thought Dora was Chairman
of the Welcoming Committee.
378
00:15:43,897 --> 00:15:46,255
We're Co-chairs.
379
00:15:46,291 --> 00:15:47,177
Well, I should get going.
380
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:49,011
I'll, um, see you around.
381
00:15:49,047 --> 00:15:50,513
Bye.
382
00:15:50,894 --> 00:15:51,761
What are you doing?
383
00:15:51,797 --> 00:15:52,944
He plays for my team.
384
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:55,220
I am not so sure
about that.
385
00:15:55,356 --> 00:15:57,331
I'm not so sure
about those shoes.
386
00:15:57,620 --> 00:16:00,696
(Schmidt) I'm telling you, there is
something off with this guy.
387
00:16:00,732 --> 00:16:03,436
We all know that you were
against hiring a gay pastor.
388
00:16:03,472 --> 00:16:04,941
No, it's not that.
389
00:16:04,977 --> 00:16:07,611
He didn't even seem to know
what scripture was.
390
00:16:07,647 --> 00:16:10,044
Or maybe you're just looking
for any excuse
391
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:11,859
to find fault with him.
Excuse me.
392
00:16:11,895 --> 00:16:14,498
Or maybe hiring someone
sight unseen over the Internet
393
00:16:14,534 --> 00:16:15,879
was a bad idea.
394
00:16:15,915 --> 00:16:18,241
Do you wanna spend another year
looking for a new pastor?
395
00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:19,611
Because I don't.
396
00:16:19,613 --> 00:16:21,342
Now, I have been corresponding
with Reverend Barlow
397
00:16:21,378 --> 00:16:23,499
for weeks and all
of my instincts tell me
398
00:16:23,535 --> 00:16:25,696
that he is a good man.
399
00:16:25,732 --> 00:16:28,904
Yes, and we all know how good
your instincts about men are.
400
00:16:28,940 --> 00:16:31,558
Alden Schmidt,
for a Christian,
401
00:16:31,594 --> 00:16:33,923
you can be very hurtful.
402
00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:36,448
Oh, Dora.
403
00:16:36,484 --> 00:16:39,967
You make a fine
three bean salad.
404
00:16:40,003 --> 00:16:41,469
Yes, I do.
405
00:16:41,638 --> 00:16:42,337
[knocks on door]
406
00:16:42,373 --> 00:16:44,327
(Mrs. Simmons)
Jasper, Reverend Barlow's here.
407
00:16:44,363 --> 00:16:46,943
[knocking at door]
408
00:16:46,979 --> 00:16:49,146
Didn't you hear me?
409
00:16:49,182 --> 00:16:50,778
You see,
he just ignores me.
410
00:16:50,814 --> 00:16:52,798
Why don't you give us
a minute alone?
411
00:16:55,199 --> 00:16:56,849
Hello, Jasper.
412
00:16:57,961 --> 00:16:59,375
So you're the new homo pastor
413
00:16:59,411 --> 00:17:01,831
everyone's got
such a hard-on for?
414
00:17:01,867 --> 00:17:03,672
It's nice to meet you, too.
415
00:17:03,708 --> 00:17:06,647
Your mom came to me because
she's concerned about you.
416
00:17:06,683 --> 00:17:09,188
You mean concerned I'm
banging cantaloupes, right?
417
00:17:09,224 --> 00:17:10,562
Among other things.
418
00:17:10,598 --> 00:17:12,446
Why do you think
you do that?
419
00:17:12,482 --> 00:17:13,559
'Cause mangoes are too small
420
00:17:13,595 --> 00:17:15,557
and watermelons
fall apart too easy.
421
00:17:15,593 --> 00:17:17,538
But why fruit?
422
00:17:17,574 --> 00:17:20,471
This may shock you, Rev,
423
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:23,442
but despite my movie star looks,
I don't get a lot of ass.
424
00:17:23,478 --> 00:17:24,764
So why not?
425
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,346
Because it's freaking out
your mother
426
00:17:26,382 --> 00:17:28,194
and she seems like
a decent lady.
427
00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:32,651
Yeah, well, she's
a controlling, neurotic bitch!
428
00:17:32,653 --> 00:17:34,660
You have any idea how lucky
you are to have
429
00:17:34,696 --> 00:17:35,743
a parent in your life?
430
00:17:35,779 --> 00:17:38,673
I cannot wait to get away
from that woman.
431
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:39,884
Yeah, when is
that happening?
432
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:41,918
Soon as I finish
high school.
433
00:17:41,954 --> 00:17:43,287
61 days.
434
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:44,852
Okay.
435
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,460
This is how
it's going down.
436
00:17:47,868 --> 00:17:50,443
When you leave this house
you can smoke weed
437
00:17:50,479 --> 00:17:53,349
and pound all
the produce you want.
438
00:17:53,385 --> 00:17:56,213
But for the next 61 days,
439
00:17:56,249 --> 00:17:58,134
you're gonna be a model son.
440
00:17:58,170 --> 00:17:59,283
And why is that?
441
00:17:59,319 --> 00:18:02,137
Because you may
not know this,
442
00:18:02,173 --> 00:18:04,526
but there's a special
place in hell
443
00:18:04,562 --> 00:18:06,262
for little snot-nosed
bastards
444
00:18:06,298 --> 00:18:07,853
who disrespect
their mothers.
445
00:18:07,889 --> 00:18:10,249
And if you don't start
treating her better,
446
00:18:10,285 --> 00:18:12,912
I will personally use
all my clout with the big guy
447
00:18:12,948 --> 00:18:16,999
to make sure you fry
your ass off for all eternity.
448
00:18:17,035 --> 00:18:18,060
You can't do that.
449
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:20,623
Oh, no?
Try me, you little shit.
450
00:18:20,659 --> 00:18:22,986
What's it gonna be, Jasper?
451
00:18:23,022 --> 00:18:24,989
Two months of good behavior
452
00:18:25,025 --> 00:18:30,142
or eternal fucking damnation?
453
00:18:30,711 --> 00:18:33,780
You don't sound like
any preacher I've ever met.
454
00:18:33,816 --> 00:18:36,067
I'll take that as
a compliment.
455
00:18:36,103 --> 00:18:37,811
And you sure don't
seem gay.
456
00:18:37,847 --> 00:18:40,382
Well, I don't know what
you think a gay person
457
00:18:40,418 --> 00:18:42,175
is supposed to seem like,
458
00:18:42,211 --> 00:18:44,924
but make no mistake,
459
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,896
I like cock.
460
00:18:48,162 --> 00:18:51,626
(Buddy)
Come on, Jesus, be the password.
461
00:18:51,662 --> 00:18:53,895
[computer bonks]
462
00:18:54,096 --> 00:18:55,902
Hey, thought you
were gone.
463
00:18:55,938 --> 00:18:58,057
Oh, no, just ducked
out for a sec.
464
00:18:58,093 --> 00:18:58,393
[microwave beeps]
465
00:18:58,429 --> 00:18:59,552
Oh, I'll get that
for you.
466
00:18:59,588 --> 00:19:00,518
Oh, no, no,
that's okay.
467
00:19:00,554 --> 00:19:01,823
You...
468
00:19:03,552 --> 00:19:05,456
Why are you heating up
a cantaloupe?
469
00:19:05,492 --> 00:19:09,936
And why is there
a hole in it?
470
00:19:09,972 --> 00:19:12,431
Why do you think?
471
00:19:12,467 --> 00:19:14,517
To put ice cream in it?
472
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:16,621
Yes!
473
00:19:16,657 --> 00:19:18,292
Yum.
474
00:19:18,328 --> 00:19:20,875
[police radio chatter]
475
00:19:24,585 --> 00:19:25,538
Huh.
476
00:19:25,574 --> 00:19:28,737
I wonder what
this is about.
477
00:19:28,773 --> 00:19:31,377
(Buddy) My time was up.
I had two choices:
478
00:19:31,413 --> 00:19:33,104
tell the truth
and face murder charges
479
00:19:33,140 --> 00:19:35,183
when no one believes
my story,
480
00:19:35,219 --> 00:19:36,633
or make a run for it.
481
00:19:36,669 --> 00:19:39,804
[upbeat music]
482
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:45,808
♪ ♪
483
00:19:45,844 --> 00:19:48,318
- Buddy?
- [screams]
484
00:19:49,249 --> 00:19:54,703
Hey,
I saw this wounded bird.
485
00:19:54,739 --> 00:19:56,246
I was gonna pray over it.
486
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:57,327
Oh, no.
487
00:19:57,363 --> 00:20:00,082
It's okay.
He walked it off.
488
00:20:00,118 --> 00:20:03,201
May we have a word please?
489
00:20:03,237 --> 00:20:03,814
Yeah.
490
00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:07,998
This is my son-in-law
Michael.
491
00:20:08,234 --> 00:20:10,985
Uh, he has something
to say to you.
492
00:20:10,987 --> 00:20:13,221
You tell everyone
you're a pastor?
493
00:20:13,223 --> 00:20:17,540
But I know what
you really are.
494
00:20:17,576 --> 00:20:18,523
You do?
495
00:20:18,559 --> 00:20:19,827
You're a psychic.
496
00:20:19,829 --> 00:20:21,310
I mean, how else
could you know?
497
00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:22,830
- Know?
- That Isabella and I were
498
00:20:22,832 --> 00:20:24,714
fighting over when
to have a baby.
499
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:25,668
That's what you meant
by giving us
500
00:20:25,704 --> 00:20:27,013
that Bible passage,
right?
501
00:20:27,049 --> 00:20:28,353
That the time is now?
502
00:20:28,389 --> 00:20:30,571
So you got that, huh?
503
00:20:30,573 --> 00:20:32,496
- [doorbell rings]
- Ooh, I'll get it.
504
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,406
I've been telling her
that you can't let money
505
00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:36,043
decide when you
start a family.
506
00:20:36,045 --> 00:20:38,079
But it took your passage
to convince her.
507
00:20:38,081 --> 00:20:40,420
I had to come over
and thank you.
508
00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:41,980
You're welcome.
509
00:20:43,745 --> 00:20:46,038
What did you say
to my son?
510
00:20:46,074 --> 00:20:47,686
Uh, just some stuff.
511
00:20:47,722 --> 00:20:50,424
Do you know what he did
after you left?
512
00:20:50,426 --> 00:20:51,974
He said he was sorry.
513
00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:54,121
Then he hugged me.
514
00:20:54,157 --> 00:20:55,537
He hasn't done that
in years.
515
00:20:55,573 --> 00:20:57,192
You're a miracle worker.
516
00:20:57,228 --> 00:20:59,770
Oh, now now.
517
00:20:59,806 --> 00:21:03,395
I'm just God's
humble servant.
518
00:21:03,431 --> 00:21:05,614
And to think, some people
weren't even sure
519
00:21:05,650 --> 00:21:07,119
you were qualified.
520
00:21:07,155 --> 00:21:09,290
Gloating is unbecoming,
Dora.
521
00:21:09,326 --> 00:21:11,726
Yes.
Yes, just...
522
00:21:11,762 --> 00:21:12,580
feels so good.
523
00:21:12,616 --> 00:21:14,997
It is such a blessing
to have you here, Reverend.
524
00:21:15,033 --> 00:21:16,021
Oh, that's funny.
525
00:21:16,057 --> 00:21:17,203
That's the word that
you always use
526
00:21:17,239 --> 00:21:19,344
in your emails,
blessing.
527
00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:23,244
(Buddy) And suddenly, I knew
Jonathan Barlow's password.
528
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,670
12,400 bucks.
529
00:21:25,706 --> 00:21:28,821
Not a fortune, but enough
to hit the road with.
530
00:21:28,857 --> 00:21:30,564
But where should I go?
531
00:21:30,566 --> 00:21:32,700
Back to the city
and all my debts?
532
00:21:32,702 --> 00:21:34,692
Some place as far away
as possible?
533
00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:36,784
[cell phone rings]
534
00:21:36,820 --> 00:21:37,905
- Hello.
- Buddy?
535
00:21:37,941 --> 00:21:39,189
It's Russell.
536
00:21:39,225 --> 00:21:41,642
You've got
the whole town buzzing.
537
00:21:41,644 --> 00:21:42,665
About what?
538
00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:44,028
(Russell)
All the good you've been doing.
539
00:21:44,064 --> 00:21:46,710
Everyone's just so happy
you're here.
540
00:21:48,462 --> 00:21:51,177
You know what?
541
00:21:51,213 --> 00:21:52,092
So am I.
542
00:21:52,128 --> 00:21:55,324
[gospel music]
543
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:58,118
(Buddy) Maybe the real Jonathan Barlow
was right.
544
00:21:58,154 --> 00:22:00,594
Maybe it is never too late
for redemption.
545
00:22:00,596 --> 00:22:02,186
Even for a screw-up
like me.
546
00:22:02,222 --> 00:22:05,593
[cell phone rings]
547
00:22:05,629 --> 00:22:07,447
- Hello?
- Hi, it's Alexa.
548
00:22:07,483 --> 00:22:09,308
I wanted to plan
a big welcoming party
549
00:22:09,344 --> 00:22:10,491
and I'd love to get
your input.
550
00:22:10,527 --> 00:22:13,609
Are you free?
Can I come over?
551
00:22:13,673 --> 00:22:15,940
Uh, sure.
552
00:22:18,264 --> 00:22:19,636
Stop it.
553
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:22,116
You are a gay pastor,
and she is one of your flock.
554
00:22:22,118 --> 00:22:24,211
This is just about
a welcoming party.
555
00:22:24,247 --> 00:22:26,176
[knocks at door]
556
00:22:28,924 --> 00:22:30,171
Hello, Buddy.
557
00:22:30,207 --> 00:22:31,017
[Canned Heat's
Going Up the Country]
558
00:22:31,053 --> 00:22:33,004
♪ I'm goin' up the country ♪
559
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,441
♪ Baby,
don't you want to go? ♪
560
00:22:37,197 --> 00:22:40,532
[soul music]
561
00:22:40,547 --> 00:22:48,787
♪ ♪
562
00:22:48,822 --> 00:22:53,822
Original sync & corrections by explosiveskull
WEB-DL resync by kinglouisxx
563
00:22:53,847 --> 00:22:56,847
www.addic7ed.com