1
00:00:03,087 --> 00:00:04,486
RAE: I need to come back.
2
00:00:04,527 --> 00:00:06,563
I wanna move back in.
3
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,086
- DR ALLEN: I disagree.
- And I want the pills.
4
00:00:08,127 --> 00:00:09,242
The ones I had last time.
5
00:00:09,287 --> 00:00:10,561
I won't recommend those.
6
00:00:10,607 --> 00:00:12,120
Well, they'll be in the file.
7
00:00:12,167 --> 00:00:15,159
No, I'm sorry.
Not unless I deem them necessary.
8
00:00:16,327 --> 00:00:17,999
I rang Dr Gill.
9
00:00:18,047 --> 00:00:19,685
Told him you'd come in.
10
00:00:19,727 --> 00:00:21,558
He said there was no need.
11
00:00:21,607 --> 00:00:24,280
- No need?
- For you to be here.
12
00:00:24,327 --> 00:00:26,158
What else did he say?
13
00:00:26,207 --> 00:00:29,005
He said that you'd been working your way
through your final few sessions
14
00:00:29,047 --> 00:00:32,198
but that, in his view,
you were ready to finish therapy.
15
00:00:32,247 --> 00:00:33,316
That's it, is it?
16
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:38,361
He didn't mention the fact that
he'd been lying to me this whole time?
17
00:00:38,407 --> 00:00:42,480
Rachel, what happened with Kester Gill
was a huge disappointment.
18
00:00:43,527 --> 00:00:45,802
You've clearly had real difficulties.
19
00:00:46,927 --> 00:00:51,398
But the problems you're experiencing -
troubles with your partner,
20
00:00:51,447 --> 00:00:55,520
questions about your future, issues about
how you look, your self-esteem -
21
00:00:55,567 --> 00:00:59,446
these are found
in the majority of people your age.
22
00:00:59,487 --> 00:01:02,126
You just process them differently.
23
00:01:04,047 --> 00:01:07,244
Kester thinks you're ready
to end therapy here.
24
00:01:08,447 --> 00:01:10,915
Well, then, we've got a problem,
haven't we?
25
00:01:12,487 --> 00:01:14,045
Cos I'm not going anywhere.
26
00:01:16,807 --> 00:01:20,163
(# THE CHARLATANS: One To Another)
27
00:01:26,207 --> 00:01:28,243
# I hear our day's coming
28
00:01:28,287 --> 00:01:30,801
# Gets sweeter every year
29
00:01:30,847 --> 00:01:32,803
# Tomorrow could be too easy
30
00:01:32,847 --> 00:01:34,678
# And today's gonna be too near
31
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:37,321
# Trust is for believers
32
00:01:37,367 --> 00:01:39,881
# And love can keep the faith
33
00:01:39,927 --> 00:01:41,804
# I don't need you, I can't buy you
34
00:01:41,847 --> 00:01:44,566
♪ I can't hurt you. ♪
35
00:01:57,407 --> 00:02:00,240
She's recommending a short course only.
36
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:04,599
Take one at dinnertimes, and
if you feel funny or a little over-sleepy,
37
00:02:04,647 --> 00:02:07,400
then you just let us know, OK?
38
00:02:09,887 --> 00:02:12,082
RAE: If I wasn't allowed
to stay in hospital
39
00:02:12,127 --> 00:02:14,561
then I'd just have to take
a bit of the hospital with me.
40
00:02:18,407 --> 00:02:20,284
Rae, shut the door.
41
00:02:21,887 --> 00:02:24,117
Well, you'll have more time
to yell at me that way,
42
00:02:24,167 --> 00:02:26,078
and I won't get kicked out so quickly.
43
00:02:26,127 --> 00:02:28,846
Well, you won't get kicked out.
They don't want me here.
44
00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:30,798
And you're just gonna
try and convince me.
45
00:02:33,967 --> 00:02:35,320
We've got two more sessions.
46
00:02:36,767 --> 00:02:38,280
Oh!
47
00:02:43,367 --> 00:02:44,641
Let me see.
48
00:02:53,767 --> 00:02:56,156
This one's because of Finn.
49
00:02:56,207 --> 00:02:59,279
Before I found out he was cheating on me.
50
00:02:59,327 --> 00:03:01,363
And this one...
51
00:03:01,407 --> 00:03:03,637
Well, this one's because of you.
52
00:03:03,687 --> 00:03:06,759
And it's worse. It hurt more.
53
00:03:06,807 --> 00:03:08,399
These are just setbacks.
54
00:03:08,447 --> 00:03:12,884
Setbacks? Is that what
you just called them, setbacks?
55
00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:15,885
And finding out my therapist
isn't actually a therapist, what's that?
56
00:03:15,927 --> 00:03:17,406
Just another setback?
57
00:03:19,207 --> 00:03:20,606
In March this year...
58
00:03:20,647 --> 00:03:23,286
Oh, what's this, Kester? Another story?
59
00:03:23,327 --> 00:03:25,079
- No, not a story.
- What is it, then?
60
00:03:25,127 --> 00:03:28,358
It's an explanation.
Of what's been happening.
61
00:03:28,407 --> 00:03:32,366
Rae, in March, they put all the doctors
in here under review.
62
00:03:32,407 --> 00:03:36,002
I mean, you name it - if you could make it
into a form, it was sent my way.
63
00:03:36,047 --> 00:03:38,197
Apparently,
I became difficult to work with.
64
00:03:38,247 --> 00:03:41,319
I was suspended, and even though
I was banned from the building,
65
00:03:41,367 --> 00:03:42,959
I kept coming back.
66
00:03:43,007 --> 00:03:47,000
Because of the duty of care
I had... to my patient.
67
00:03:48,287 --> 00:03:50,118
To the patient I care about the most.
68
00:03:52,287 --> 00:03:55,723
And, if I'm honest,
to the person I care about the most.
69
00:03:55,767 --> 00:03:58,918
But by that point, it didn't matter,
Rae, because we did it.
70
00:03:58,967 --> 00:04:01,037
You'd got there.
71
00:04:01,087 --> 00:04:03,317
You were ready.
72
00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:05,927
Yeah, and then all the bad stuff
started happening.
73
00:04:07,287 --> 00:04:09,118
Because of the work you did,
74
00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:12,557
it means you were prepared
for the bad things.
75
00:04:12,607 --> 00:04:15,485
Look, you might wish
to continue with therapy,
76
00:04:15,527 --> 00:04:17,757
but you can go to Bristol, trust me.
77
00:04:17,807 --> 00:04:19,718
Oh.
78
00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:21,280
If you don't believe me,
look in your diary.
79
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:22,726
The diary doesn't work.
80
00:04:22,767 --> 00:04:23,836
I disagree.
81
00:04:25,127 --> 00:04:26,242
It's all in there, Rae.
82
00:04:27,447 --> 00:04:29,597
I mean, I've never read it myself,
but I know the ending.
83
00:04:29,647 --> 00:04:34,323
It's about this amazing girl
who achieves all her dreams.
84
00:04:48,647 --> 00:04:50,000
Well, this is stupid.
85
00:04:55,007 --> 00:04:56,360
I'm scared.
86
00:04:59,927 --> 00:05:01,406
You and the rest of the world.
87
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:07,920
(SIGHS)
88
00:05:14,967 --> 00:05:16,844
You'd better be right about this.
89
00:05:24,567 --> 00:05:28,845
I had no idea if I could make it
to the end of the street,
90
00:05:28,887 --> 00:05:30,843
let alone Bristol.
91
00:05:30,887 --> 00:05:34,084
I had no idea
if things were going to be OK.
92
00:05:34,127 --> 00:05:36,436
I just had to give it a go.
93
00:05:43,407 --> 00:05:46,524
Oh, you're back, love. I thought
you were staying at the hospital.
94
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:49,842
Decided to give it a go.
95
00:05:49,887 --> 00:05:51,684
Are you sure?
96
00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:53,638
Not really.
97
00:06:03,007 --> 00:06:05,680
Karim got a new job.
98
00:06:05,727 --> 00:06:07,797
It's in a factory.
99
00:06:07,847 --> 00:06:09,075
That's great.
100
00:06:10,367 --> 00:06:11,766
Isn't it?
101
00:06:11,807 --> 00:06:13,320
Yeah, it...
102
00:06:13,367 --> 00:06:15,517
means he'll be going away
for a little bit.
103
00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:17,205
It's a bit too far to commute.
104
00:06:17,247 --> 00:06:18,396
- Why, where is it?
- Monastir.
105
00:06:18,447 --> 00:06:19,243
Where?
106
00:06:19,287 --> 00:06:22,404
Tunisia. He goes at the end of the week.
107
00:06:22,447 --> 00:06:25,166
It's a six-month contract,
but he's allowed to come home
108
00:06:25,207 --> 00:06:27,641
for a weekend in the middle of it,
so it's not all bad.
109
00:06:29,327 --> 00:06:31,795
Oh, Finn rang to say he was sorry.
110
00:06:31,847 --> 00:06:34,725
I told him to shove his apology
up his arse.
111
00:06:34,767 --> 00:06:37,042
(# PJ HARVEY: Catherine)
112
00:06:43,607 --> 00:06:46,360
Kester said the answers were in the diary.
113
00:06:50,127 --> 00:06:54,643
All I could see was page after page
of cringeworthy bullshit.
114
00:06:58,847 --> 00:07:02,396
I had to concentrate on the here and now.
115
00:07:02,447 --> 00:07:07,237
♪ You left the thing stinking
I'd shake from your spell... ♪
116
00:07:07,287 --> 00:07:09,755
I had to revise.
117
00:07:09,807 --> 00:07:13,720
♪ ...wind bites more bitter
with each light of morning... ♪
118
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,644
(KISSING)
119
00:07:19,327 --> 00:07:21,602
Rae, concentrate on your own stuff.
120
00:07:24,127 --> 00:07:26,197
I needed to focus.
121
00:07:26,247 --> 00:07:29,637
But how could I think about Lady Macbeth
when my head was full of
122
00:07:29,687 --> 00:07:32,076
Finn fucking Nelson?
123
00:07:32,127 --> 00:07:35,085
And I couldn't start crying to Chloe
about my problems.
124
00:07:35,127 --> 00:07:37,561
She'd only just left hospital.
125
00:07:37,607 --> 00:07:40,246
I had to act normal.
126
00:07:42,567 --> 00:07:43,886
Um...
127
00:07:43,927 --> 00:07:47,203
Guys, what... what is the scene number,
again, with the ghost in it?
128
00:07:47,247 --> 00:07:49,044
- So shiny...
- You know the one I mean?
129
00:07:49,087 --> 00:07:50,406
Do you know what the number is?
130
00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:53,200
Hello?
131
00:07:53,247 --> 00:07:54,839
Yeah, definitely, Rae. Yeah.
132
00:07:54,887 --> 00:07:56,639
Well, you're not even listening.
133
00:07:56,687 --> 00:07:58,996
Oh, I'm picking my dress
for the leavers' ball.
134
00:07:59,047 --> 00:08:01,277
Um...
135
00:08:01,327 --> 00:08:06,196
We are supposed to be studying
for Performing Arts Theory.
136
00:08:06,247 --> 00:08:08,124
Performing Arts Theory's easy.
137
00:08:09,607 --> 00:08:10,960
OK.
138
00:08:11,007 --> 00:08:12,281
Got your dress yet, Rae?
139
00:08:14,767 --> 00:08:17,964
- Well, what about Finn?
- (SIGHS) What about Finn?
140
00:08:18,007 --> 00:08:19,838
- IZZY: Is he wearing a tux?
- I don't know.
141
00:08:19,887 --> 00:08:22,640
- CHLOE: He would look fit in a tux.
- Definitely.
142
00:08:22,687 --> 00:08:24,279
IZZY: He doesn't have to wear one...
143
00:08:24,327 --> 00:08:25,806
Chop's only wearing one
144
00:08:25,847 --> 00:08:28,520
cos he's borrowed it from his dad's mate
Len, who's a magician.
145
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:30,523
All I wanna do is revise.
146
00:08:31,727 --> 00:08:33,718
- Do you want a hand with your stuff?
- Are you OK?
147
00:08:33,767 --> 00:08:34,836
Do you want a hand?
148
00:08:34,887 --> 00:08:37,117
Rae, are you all right?
149
00:08:46,207 --> 00:08:48,163
What the fuck was she doing here?
150
00:08:50,247 --> 00:08:51,566
Rae...
151
00:08:51,607 --> 00:08:53,325
What?
152
00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,437
- Can I talk to you, please?
- No.
153
00:08:55,487 --> 00:08:57,842
- No, I just want to explain myself...
- Katie, what are you doing?
154
00:08:57,887 --> 00:08:59,320
Whoa, Rae, what's going on?
155
00:08:59,367 --> 00:09:01,358
Nothing.
156
00:09:01,407 --> 00:09:03,796
Well, it doesn't look like nothing.
157
00:09:05,207 --> 00:09:07,437
- I just came to pick Rae up.
- It's fine.
158
00:09:10,927 --> 00:09:13,680
Rae, is there something
you're not telling me?
159
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:15,126
No.
160
00:09:15,167 --> 00:09:16,520
Hiya, Katie, you OK?
161
00:09:18,687 --> 00:09:21,645
Just so you know, if I found out
you've done something to make my mate cry
162
00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:23,245
while I've been in hospital,
163
00:09:23,287 --> 00:09:25,482
I'm gonna do something
to make you cry.
164
00:09:25,527 --> 00:09:26,846
D'you know what I'm saying?
165
00:09:28,007 --> 00:09:29,884
Yeah.
166
00:09:31,287 --> 00:09:34,199
- Right, I'll call you later.
- OK.
167
00:09:34,247 --> 00:09:36,078
Come on.
168
00:09:40,127 --> 00:09:41,446
(ENGINE STARTS)
169
00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:44,086
(CAR DOOR SHUTS)
170
00:09:52,607 --> 00:09:54,962
Whatever happened
between me and Finn...
171
00:09:56,647 --> 00:09:58,160
...and it was hardly anything...
172
00:09:59,487 --> 00:10:01,682
...it's over, OK?
173
00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:03,365
OK.
174
00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:07,639
- You were all he could think about.
- (SCOFFS)
175
00:10:07,687 --> 00:10:10,485
- Doubt it.
- I'm telling the truth, Rae.
176
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,721
Fine, yeah.
177
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,121
Never mind.
178
00:10:17,207 --> 00:10:20,244
- What?
- Nothing, it doesn't matter.
179
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,959
No, Katie, it does,
180
00:10:22,007 --> 00:10:26,205
cos if you got something to say
then... now is a good time to say it.
181
00:10:27,287 --> 00:10:29,437
Every time you see him, you bring...
182
00:10:29,487 --> 00:10:31,557
you bring your problems onto him.
183
00:10:33,207 --> 00:10:36,279
He cares about you so much
that he just wants to...
184
00:10:37,687 --> 00:10:39,723
...take that burden, you know?
185
00:10:42,047 --> 00:10:43,480
I hate to be the one to say this,
186
00:10:43,527 --> 00:10:47,122
because, listen, if... if you knew
what you were doing,
187
00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:48,725
I'm sure you wouldn't do it.
188
00:10:51,127 --> 00:10:52,958
Your problems are bringing him down, Rae.
189
00:10:56,087 --> 00:10:58,078
He's just too nice a guy to say anything.
190
00:11:01,287 --> 00:11:02,436
They all are.
191
00:11:07,247 --> 00:11:08,521
All of your friends.
192
00:11:13,487 --> 00:11:16,320
With you, it's like...
193
00:11:16,367 --> 00:11:19,279
you're the one with all the injuries,
194
00:11:19,327 --> 00:11:21,283
but it's them that feel the pain.
195
00:11:22,927 --> 00:11:24,519
What, like...
196
00:11:24,567 --> 00:11:28,321
like I'm some kind of voodoo doll,
is that what you're saying?
197
00:11:33,647 --> 00:11:37,037
They just think that
you're always gonna be like this.
198
00:11:43,527 --> 00:11:48,806
Dear Diary, I would always be a burden
to my friends and family.
199
00:11:50,007 --> 00:11:53,238
Katie could see it
and, deep down, I knew it.
200
00:12:01,207 --> 00:12:04,165
Wow. Karim was leaving.
201
00:12:06,087 --> 00:12:08,396
There was no way Mum was going to cope.
202
00:12:12,047 --> 00:12:13,719
How's your revision?
203
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,997
You should go.
204
00:12:16,047 --> 00:12:17,560
To Tunisia.
205
00:12:17,607 --> 00:12:19,484
Oh, it's not as simple as that, Rae.
206
00:12:19,527 --> 00:12:22,121
There's your sister to think about,
for a start.
207
00:12:22,167 --> 00:12:24,635
I mean, bless her little heart.
208
00:12:24,687 --> 00:12:27,281
We can't go taking her over there,
she'll fry like an egg.
209
00:12:27,327 --> 00:12:30,000
Mum, they do have babies
in Tunisia, you know.
210
00:12:30,047 --> 00:12:32,003
That's how they end up with adults.
211
00:12:33,527 --> 00:12:35,279
And you loved Tunisia
when you went before.
212
00:12:35,327 --> 00:12:38,444
You could go to the mosque.
There'll be loads of mosques.
213
00:12:38,487 --> 00:12:41,638
- And Karim will be there. You love Karim.
- I don't wanna talk about it.
214
00:12:41,687 --> 00:12:43,006
- Why not?
- I just don't.
215
00:12:43,047 --> 00:12:47,723
You go on and on about me going off to uni
and now you can't even leave Stamford.
216
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:48,916
I've got to work!
217
00:12:48,967 --> 00:12:50,764
You hate work.
218
00:12:50,807 --> 00:12:53,367
I don't understand
why you don't want to go.
219
00:12:55,207 --> 00:12:56,879
I do wanna go to Tunisia.
220
00:12:58,287 --> 00:12:59,686
It's my dream.
221
00:13:01,407 --> 00:13:03,045
I wanna be a good Muslim wife.
222
00:13:04,567 --> 00:13:05,920
But I'm not going.
223
00:13:05,967 --> 00:13:09,243
I can't, because
who's gonna look after my baby?
224
00:13:09,287 --> 00:13:10,606
We just spoke about that.
225
00:13:10,647 --> 00:13:12,956
No. You.
226
00:13:13,007 --> 00:13:14,759
You're my baby.
227
00:13:14,807 --> 00:13:16,718
Who's gonna look after you?
228
00:13:18,687 --> 00:13:20,405
I'm going off to uni.
229
00:13:20,447 --> 00:13:21,596
Are you?
230
00:13:21,647 --> 00:13:23,956
Because we want you to go to uni,
of course we do.
231
00:13:24,007 --> 00:13:26,316
We even broke open
the nonalcoholic bloody champagne.
232
00:13:26,367 --> 00:13:31,487
But every day since then, things seem
to be getting harder and harder for you.
233
00:13:32,647 --> 00:13:36,162
I can't leave until you can.
234
00:13:39,967 --> 00:13:41,559
And I don't think you're up to it.
235
00:13:51,167 --> 00:13:53,237
(WATER RUNS)
236
00:13:58,247 --> 00:14:02,035
My name is Rachel Earl
and I have a rare ability.
237
00:14:03,567 --> 00:14:08,687
It's not just that my problems
poison my mind. That's a given.
238
00:14:08,727 --> 00:14:11,924
My problems poison other people.
239
00:14:11,967 --> 00:14:14,527
And the closer those people get,
240
00:14:14,567 --> 00:14:17,127
the worse it becomes.
241
00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:21,206
So, what do you do
when you harm the ones you love?
242
00:14:21,247 --> 00:14:22,316
(PILLS RATTLE)
243
00:14:22,367 --> 00:14:24,039
You get out of their way.
244
00:14:25,287 --> 00:14:27,437
(# RADIOHEAD: Exit Music (For A Film))
245
00:14:38,887 --> 00:14:41,560
# Wake
246
00:14:42,647 --> 00:14:44,160
# From your sleep
247
00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:50,442
# The drying of...
248
00:14:50,487 --> 00:14:55,038
# Your tears
249
00:14:55,087 --> 00:14:56,725
# Today
250
00:14:57,967 --> 00:15:00,435
# We escape
251
00:15:01,487 --> 00:15:06,242
# We escape
252
00:15:11,167 --> 00:15:13,761
# Pack
253
00:15:13,807 --> 00:15:16,401
(MUFFLED) # And get dressed
254
00:15:18,487 --> 00:15:20,239
♪ Before... ♪
255
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:23,438
- (BABY CRIES)
- (INDISTINCT TV COMMENTARY)
256
00:15:32,727 --> 00:15:34,558
(KNOCKING)
257
00:15:37,967 --> 00:15:40,356
(BANGING)
258
00:15:44,287 --> 00:15:46,039
(MUSIC RESUMES)
259
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:52,326
# ...Now
260
00:15:52,367 --> 00:15:55,325
# We are one
261
00:15:56,647 --> 00:16:04,156
# In everlasting peace
262
00:16:04,207 --> 00:16:06,960
# We hope
263
00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:10,761
# That you choke...
264
00:16:10,807 --> 00:16:14,925
# That you choke
265
00:16:19,287 --> 00:16:21,562
# We hope
266
00:16:22,847 --> 00:16:25,315
♪ That you choke... ♪
267
00:16:29,127 --> 00:16:30,879
(GASPS)
268
00:16:32,807 --> 00:16:36,356
- (BABY CRIES)
- (INDISTINCT TV COMMENTARY)
269
00:16:37,527 --> 00:16:42,521
No-one was coming to save me.
I'd have to do this on my own.
270
00:16:45,247 --> 00:16:46,885
(# THE BETA BAND: Dr Baker)
271
00:16:49,047 --> 00:16:51,686
When Kester said
the answers were in the diary,
272
00:16:51,727 --> 00:16:55,117
maybe he was right.
Maybe I had to look harder.
273
00:16:55,167 --> 00:16:57,362
Maybe I had to read through the pain.
274
00:16:57,407 --> 00:17:00,365
KESTER: Now, being on your own
that night was just a trigger.
275
00:17:00,407 --> 00:17:03,240
What we need to figure out
is why you don't like yourself.
276
00:17:03,287 --> 00:17:06,359
We need to start digging deeper,
277
00:17:06,407 --> 00:17:09,763
looking at things in your past and seeing
how you've made sense of them,
278
00:17:09,807 --> 00:17:12,116
things you might not
have thought about for years.
279
00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:14,556
LINDA: You can't spend your life
running away from stuff.
280
00:17:14,607 --> 00:17:18,202
KESTER: This is about being
really honest. Painfully so.
281
00:17:18,247 --> 00:17:20,283
But being honest with yourself.
282
00:17:20,327 --> 00:17:21,919
RAE: I don't get why he likes me.
283
00:17:21,967 --> 00:17:25,323
It's embarrassing to be next to him.
284
00:17:25,367 --> 00:17:27,756
I'm embarrassed for him.
285
00:17:27,807 --> 00:17:30,162
KESTER: You can't believe he likes you
because you can't find anything
286
00:17:30,207 --> 00:17:33,404
- to like about yourself.
- RAE: It's like my mind-set is...
287
00:17:33,447 --> 00:17:34,880
I just eat until it stops...
288
00:17:34,927 --> 00:17:36,758
Getting into weird patterns...
289
00:17:36,807 --> 00:17:41,403
LIAM: We still make the same choices,
because people can't change.
290
00:17:41,447 --> 00:17:44,598
RAE: Something broke inside me.
291
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:45,841
(ALARM RINGS)
292
00:17:45,887 --> 00:17:51,883
KESTER: Do you think perhaps your anger
is borne out of frustration with yourself,
293
00:17:51,927 --> 00:17:56,125
that you're angry and frustrated
with yourself for being ill?
294
00:17:58,607 --> 00:18:01,360
RAE: Maybe my illness wasn't a problem.
295
00:18:01,407 --> 00:18:04,638
Maybe it was just something
I needed to learn to live with.
296
00:18:07,047 --> 00:18:10,926
KESTER: Being brave
isn't about never being afraid.
297
00:18:10,967 --> 00:18:12,844
It's about what you do when you are.
298
00:18:16,207 --> 00:18:18,323
Whether you can keep your head.
Whether you do the right thing.
299
00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:20,597
In the spring,
300
00:18:20,647 --> 00:18:24,117
I was admitted to a mental home,
301
00:18:24,167 --> 00:18:25,998
because I kept trying to hurt myself.
302
00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:30,364
KESTER: If I was to ask one of your
friends what they liked about you,
303
00:18:30,407 --> 00:18:31,635
what do you think they would say?
304
00:18:31,687 --> 00:18:35,282
FINN: Our group of friends was...was
nothing until you sprayed Rae all over it.
305
00:18:35,327 --> 00:18:38,046
You're the one they always look to.
306
00:18:38,087 --> 00:18:39,281
You're the glue.
307
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:42,637
KESTER: You see yourself
as a fragile thing,
308
00:18:42,687 --> 00:18:45,963
like a little broken bird,
sloshing around in a bottle.
309
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:50,876
But basically,
I think you're a pretty tough cookie.
310
00:18:50,927 --> 00:18:54,044
RAE: You don't think
that people can change.
311
00:18:54,087 --> 00:18:56,157
But I know that they can.
312
00:18:58,607 --> 00:19:00,279
If I really was a voodoo doll,
313
00:19:00,327 --> 00:19:02,318
causing all that pain,
314
00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:07,077
then it was only because
I'd been sticking the pins in myself.
315
00:19:07,127 --> 00:19:09,038
And if I'd stuck them in...
316
00:19:09,087 --> 00:19:11,237
then I could pull them out again.
317
00:19:14,727 --> 00:19:16,206
How are the hands?
318
00:19:16,247 --> 00:19:18,442
A bit better.
319
00:19:18,487 --> 00:19:19,920
Good.
320
00:19:22,007 --> 00:19:24,999
So, without wishing to sound rude, Rachel,
321
00:19:25,047 --> 00:19:26,196
why are you here?
322
00:19:27,447 --> 00:19:29,278
Well...
323
00:19:29,327 --> 00:19:30,555
I need your help.
324
00:19:32,167 --> 00:19:34,158
I wanna go to Bristol.
325
00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:35,686
Decided I can do it.
326
00:19:38,007 --> 00:19:40,077
So, I was wondering
327
00:19:40,127 --> 00:19:44,996
if you would be able to write me a letter
in case I don't get the grades.
328
00:19:45,047 --> 00:19:46,480
Saying what?
329
00:19:47,647 --> 00:19:52,357
Just saying that I would have got
the grades if I hadn't have been in here.
330
00:19:52,407 --> 00:19:54,637
I can write a letter,
331
00:19:54,687 --> 00:19:58,202
but I'm afraid I've no idea
what grades you would've got.
332
00:19:59,247 --> 00:20:01,761
Why the sudden turnaround?
333
00:20:01,807 --> 00:20:04,719
You seem so certain about things.
334
00:20:04,767 --> 00:20:08,316
But not so long ago, you were just as
certain you couldn't manage any of this.
335
00:20:09,527 --> 00:20:11,438
Kester says...
336
00:20:11,487 --> 00:20:13,842
that I owe it to myself to try.
337
00:20:13,887 --> 00:20:16,321
How are you going to do that?
338
00:20:16,367 --> 00:20:17,641
Well...
339
00:20:18,767 --> 00:20:22,555
...I've just gotta learn
how to handle things...
340
00:20:22,607 --> 00:20:23,756
on my own.
341
00:20:29,167 --> 00:20:32,204
I'm gonna stop waiting
for someone to come and save me.
342
00:20:33,407 --> 00:20:35,523
So, do you need this letter?
343
00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:40,644
No.
344
00:20:40,687 --> 00:20:42,120
What does that mean?
345
00:20:45,127 --> 00:20:46,685
I guess it means...
346
00:20:48,487 --> 00:20:50,637
...that we're done.
347
00:20:52,407 --> 00:20:54,762
No offence.
348
00:20:54,807 --> 00:20:56,160
I'm glad to hear it.
349
00:20:57,687 --> 00:20:59,518
No offence.
350
00:21:08,047 --> 00:21:10,436
(# EELS: The Medication Is Wearing Off)
351
00:21:15,767 --> 00:21:18,645
Performing Arts Theory is two hours long.
352
00:21:18,687 --> 00:21:23,283
It's also, for many of you,
your final exam, so good luck.
353
00:21:23,327 --> 00:21:25,921
Time now is two o'clock,
which gives you until four o'clock.
354
00:21:25,967 --> 00:21:28,606
You may turn over your papers.
355
00:21:30,847 --> 00:21:32,439
I'd missed one exam already.
356
00:21:32,487 --> 00:21:35,559
That meant this one mattered
more than ever.
357
00:21:35,607 --> 00:21:37,563
I had to make up the marks.
358
00:21:37,607 --> 00:21:41,759
I didn't know if I'd pass or fail,
let alone get into Bristol.
359
00:21:41,807 --> 00:21:44,241
I just knew I had to try.
360
00:21:44,287 --> 00:21:46,482
Bit by bit, question by question,
361
00:21:46,527 --> 00:21:48,916
for no-one else other than me.
362
00:21:48,967 --> 00:21:52,277
♪ The days I'm claiming back for me... ♪
363
00:21:54,567 --> 00:21:56,205
(BELL RINGS)
364
00:21:56,247 --> 00:21:59,762
♪ ...Doo-doo doo dooo
Doo-doo doo-doo dooo dooo... ♪
365
00:22:02,807 --> 00:22:05,275
But just because my exams were over
366
00:22:05,327 --> 00:22:07,761
didn't mean my problems suddenly were.
367
00:22:07,807 --> 00:22:10,367
And some things will never let you go.
368
00:22:10,407 --> 00:22:13,558
Not until you find the strength
to deal with them.
369
00:22:15,247 --> 00:22:17,477
It was time to tell the gang about Finn.
370
00:22:21,087 --> 00:22:22,679
- No fucking way.
- That's what she told me.
371
00:22:22,727 --> 00:22:23,876
- Are you serious, Rae?
372
00:22:23,927 --> 00:22:24,962
- IZZY: That's disgusting.
- RAE: Guys...
373
00:22:25,007 --> 00:22:29,558
Guys... Before you kick off,
just hear me out, yeah?
374
00:22:29,607 --> 00:22:31,837
I haven't been easy to go out with.
375
00:22:31,887 --> 00:22:33,605
- Trust me.
- He's meant to be
376
00:22:33,647 --> 00:22:35,365
your plus-one for the leavers' ball.
377
00:22:35,407 --> 00:22:38,080
He's supposed to be a plus-one
for longer than that.
378
00:22:38,127 --> 00:22:41,437
Forget about Finn.
Are you all right, Rae?
379
00:22:41,487 --> 00:22:42,920
Yeah, we've been worried about you.
380
00:22:44,087 --> 00:22:45,281
Well...
381
00:22:45,327 --> 00:22:48,160
that's why I wanted us to get together.
382
00:22:49,287 --> 00:22:53,963
So I can explain why I've been feeling
the way that I've been feeling.
383
00:22:55,567 --> 00:22:58,604
OK, the only way
that I can describe it is...
384
00:22:59,847 --> 00:23:04,363
It's like I'm walking through a forest
the whole time,
385
00:23:04,407 --> 00:23:06,204
and, for the most part...
386
00:23:06,247 --> 00:23:08,602
it's fine.
387
00:23:08,647 --> 00:23:09,966
It can...
388
00:23:10,007 --> 00:23:11,565
be beautiful.
389
00:23:12,887 --> 00:23:14,115
Peaceful, even.
390
00:23:15,287 --> 00:23:16,959
But...
391
00:23:17,007 --> 00:23:19,316
you always know that at some point...
392
00:23:20,407 --> 00:23:24,958
...you're gonna come across these parts
of the forest that you don't recognise.
393
00:23:26,247 --> 00:23:29,956
Dark corners
that you didn't know were there, but...
394
00:23:30,007 --> 00:23:32,282
well, you always kind of knew
they were coming.
395
00:23:32,327 --> 00:23:34,682
- Does that make sense?
- Yeah.
396
00:23:37,447 --> 00:23:41,076
And that's when the world gets scary.
397
00:23:42,767 --> 00:23:44,917
And that's when you can lose your way.
398
00:23:46,447 --> 00:23:48,403
But...
399
00:23:48,447 --> 00:23:52,360
because I've got great mates...
400
00:23:52,407 --> 00:23:57,879
and people who make me strong
and remind me that...
401
00:23:57,927 --> 00:24:01,397
well, even when I hit
those dark parts of the forest...
402
00:24:02,847 --> 00:24:04,041
...that...
403
00:24:04,087 --> 00:24:06,237
I've just gotta keep walking.
404
00:24:06,287 --> 00:24:10,997
Just keep walking, and I'll be OK.
405
00:24:11,047 --> 00:24:13,083
I'll be scared.
406
00:24:14,527 --> 00:24:16,279
But I'll be OK.
407
00:24:16,327 --> 00:24:18,045
So...
408
00:24:18,087 --> 00:24:23,605
you have to promise me
that you're not gonna worry.
409
00:24:23,647 --> 00:24:26,764
And you're not going to hate Finn.
Promise?
410
00:24:26,807 --> 00:24:28,081
- Promise.
- Promise?
411
00:24:28,127 --> 00:24:29,276
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
412
00:24:29,327 --> 00:24:31,716
It's OK to hate Katie Springer,
though, right?
413
00:24:31,767 --> 00:24:33,644
- Yeah.
- Definitely.
414
00:24:34,687 --> 00:24:38,282
You're not talking about the woods
in Burghley Park, are you?
415
00:24:40,207 --> 00:24:42,004
What?
416
00:24:42,047 --> 00:24:44,003
I go there on my bike all the time.
417
00:24:44,047 --> 00:24:46,083
(LAUGHTER)
418
00:24:46,127 --> 00:24:49,802
- There's loads of dark pa...
- You should cycle somewhere else,
419
00:24:49,847 --> 00:24:51,121
genius that you are.
420
00:24:55,087 --> 00:24:56,202
Rae!
421
00:24:56,247 --> 00:24:57,282
Rae.
422
00:24:57,327 --> 00:25:01,206
Look, I just wanted to say, if Finn
doesn't take you to the leavers' ball,
423
00:25:01,247 --> 00:25:04,876
then I'd consider it an honour
to step in and take you myself.
424
00:25:06,567 --> 00:25:11,243
The only possible caveat
is that I've made some inroads with Kelly
425
00:25:11,287 --> 00:25:13,357
who does the trolleys
in the Safeway's car park.
426
00:25:13,407 --> 00:25:15,557
So if she pages me back...
427
00:25:15,607 --> 00:25:17,757
I'd have to renege on my offer.
428
00:25:17,807 --> 00:25:19,923
I mean, I can't have blurred lines, Rae.
429
00:25:19,967 --> 00:25:21,446
Understood.
430
00:25:21,487 --> 00:25:22,761
Thanks, Danny.
431
00:25:22,807 --> 00:25:24,843
- Chlo...
- I told her, Rae.
432
00:25:24,887 --> 00:25:27,481
I warned her.
433
00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:29,836
Shit. Chlo!
434
00:25:29,887 --> 00:25:32,003
Chlo, wait up. Chlo!
435
00:25:33,167 --> 00:25:34,725
- Chloe...
- What car is it?
436
00:25:36,247 --> 00:25:38,124
Is it one of these?
437
00:25:38,167 --> 00:25:39,805
Or is it this one?
438
00:25:39,847 --> 00:25:42,600
- It's this one, isn't it?
- Chlo...
439
00:25:43,687 --> 00:25:47,885
# That girl think she's the queen
of the neighbourhood
440
00:25:47,927 --> 00:25:51,044
♪ She got the hottest trike in town... ♪
441
00:25:51,087 --> 00:25:52,156
(MOUTHS)
442
00:25:52,207 --> 00:25:54,163
# ... That girl
She holds her head up so high
443
00:25:54,207 --> 00:25:56,004
♪ I think I wanna be
her best friend, yeah... ♪
444
00:25:56,047 --> 00:25:57,036
Chloe!
445
00:25:59,327 --> 00:26:01,716
Chloe, you've just got out of hospital.
446
00:26:01,767 --> 00:26:03,439
KATIE: What's she doing?
447
00:26:04,527 --> 00:26:05,562
Chloe?
448
00:26:05,607 --> 00:26:07,359
CHLOE: I told you, Katie.
449
00:26:07,407 --> 00:26:09,204
I warned you.
450
00:26:09,247 --> 00:26:10,919
- What are you doing?
- I warned you.
451
00:26:10,967 --> 00:26:14,755
You mess with my best mate,
this is what happens.
452
00:26:14,807 --> 00:26:16,604
Your shitty little car gets it.
453
00:26:18,207 --> 00:26:20,767
Chloe, that's not my car.
454
00:26:22,567 --> 00:26:24,205
- That's my car.
- (DESCENDING GUITAR RIFF)
455
00:26:34,127 --> 00:26:37,722
- Oi, Katie.
- No, I get it, Rae, OK?
456
00:26:37,767 --> 00:26:39,837
Yeah, I get it, your mate's pissed off.
457
00:26:39,887 --> 00:26:41,286
Can we just drop it, please?
458
00:26:41,327 --> 00:26:43,238
Yeah, OK, yeah, we can.
459
00:26:43,287 --> 00:26:47,485
But this is the last time that
we ever speak, even if I get into uni.
460
00:26:47,527 --> 00:26:49,483
You're gonna to go to Bristol
461
00:26:49,527 --> 00:26:51,677
and you're gonna ignore
the only person that you know?
462
00:26:51,727 --> 00:26:54,480
Yeah. Yeah, I am, Katie.
463
00:26:54,527 --> 00:26:57,246
Because there is no way
you are anything like a proper mate,
464
00:26:57,287 --> 00:26:59,005
and if your life was so amazing
465
00:26:59,047 --> 00:27:02,084
then you wouldn't be hanging around
in a Lincolnshire cul-de-sac
466
00:27:02,127 --> 00:27:05,085
with the girls from the year below,
would you?
467
00:27:11,087 --> 00:27:12,600
Chlo...
468
00:27:12,647 --> 00:27:14,205
OK?
469
00:27:14,247 --> 00:27:18,525
Listen, you do know that you doing that
makes me love you even more?
470
00:27:18,567 --> 00:27:22,116
Even more than
if you'd have got the right car.
471
00:27:22,167 --> 00:27:24,681
What made you go for the bins?
472
00:27:27,127 --> 00:27:28,845
The only thing I could think of!
473
00:27:30,447 --> 00:27:32,722
Chlo, can you do me a favour?
474
00:27:32,767 --> 00:27:36,726
Will you please try
and stop worrying about me?
475
00:27:36,767 --> 00:27:39,042
I know it's hard, because I am literally
476
00:27:39,087 --> 00:27:41,965
the easiest person in the world
to worry about, but...
477
00:27:42,007 --> 00:27:43,918
you've gotta try.
478
00:27:43,967 --> 00:27:45,798
Yeah?
479
00:27:45,847 --> 00:27:47,075
Yeah.
480
00:27:47,127 --> 00:27:48,924
Got bin juice on my hand now.
481
00:27:50,087 --> 00:27:51,725
- Whose car is that?
- I don't know,
482
00:27:51,767 --> 00:27:53,758
but they're gonna be well pissed.
483
00:27:53,807 --> 00:27:55,718
Come on, hurry up!
484
00:27:55,767 --> 00:27:57,200
(BOTH GIGGLE)
485
00:27:59,167 --> 00:28:00,486
(GIGGLING CONTINUES)
486
00:28:03,007 --> 00:28:04,963
A bit racy.
487
00:28:05,007 --> 00:28:06,804
Racy?
488
00:28:06,847 --> 00:28:08,360
Yeah.
489
00:28:08,407 --> 00:28:10,204
Well, racy.
490
00:28:10,247 --> 00:28:12,078
As in... racy.
491
00:28:12,127 --> 00:28:14,482
Oh, OK. Perfect.
492
00:28:14,527 --> 00:28:16,518
That's the look I normally go for.
493
00:28:22,327 --> 00:28:23,555
Oh!
494
00:28:25,047 --> 00:28:26,685
- OK.
- Oh, good.
495
00:28:28,047 --> 00:28:29,446
- Here you are, then.
- Thanks.
496
00:28:33,087 --> 00:28:38,241
The leavers' ball wasn't exactly top of
my to-do list, especially without Finn...
497
00:28:40,367 --> 00:28:41,925
LINDA: Any good?
498
00:28:41,967 --> 00:28:44,527
...but I had to show Mum
I was on the mend.
499
00:28:45,927 --> 00:28:47,565
Bought it when I was 30.
500
00:28:47,607 --> 00:28:49,245
When I was -
501
00:28:49,287 --> 00:28:52,359
don't bite my head off -
I was a couple of sizes bigger.
502
00:28:53,647 --> 00:28:55,444
I never...
503
00:28:55,487 --> 00:28:58,081
quite had the confidence to wear it out.
504
00:29:08,087 --> 00:29:09,725
Oh, Rae.
505
00:29:10,967 --> 00:29:12,195
I'll wear it.
506
00:29:13,367 --> 00:29:14,880
On one condition.
507
00:29:16,047 --> 00:29:18,277
You go to Tunisia.
508
00:29:19,727 --> 00:29:21,365
- No.
- Mum...
509
00:29:21,407 --> 00:29:24,638
Karim will be missing you like crazy.
510
00:29:24,687 --> 00:29:26,837
You're his life.
511
00:29:26,887 --> 00:29:30,163
I will ring you constantly.
512
00:29:30,207 --> 00:29:33,916
There's this thing called e-mail.
Everyone's getting them.
513
00:29:33,967 --> 00:29:36,322
It's not about that.
514
00:29:36,367 --> 00:29:38,403
Mum...
515
00:29:38,447 --> 00:29:40,642
They still look sore.
516
00:29:40,687 --> 00:29:42,643
Yeah. They are.
517
00:29:44,407 --> 00:29:46,398
But they'll heal.
518
00:29:46,447 --> 00:29:49,280
I am learning how to handle things.
519
00:29:49,327 --> 00:29:51,966
But how am I gonna know you're OK?
520
00:29:54,207 --> 00:29:55,959
You don't.
521
00:29:59,767 --> 00:30:02,281
I'd have to hand my notice in
at the hospital...
522
00:30:10,887 --> 00:30:12,798
(LINDA SIGHS)
523
00:30:17,887 --> 00:30:19,525
Do you need a little jacket?
524
00:30:19,567 --> 00:30:21,797
- How about a little jacket?
- Mum...
525
00:30:23,687 --> 00:30:25,086
I've got a jacket.
526
00:30:36,247 --> 00:30:38,397
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
527
00:30:41,167 --> 00:30:43,158
You look lovely.
528
00:30:43,207 --> 00:30:45,004
So do you.
529
00:30:46,047 --> 00:30:49,164
You just look a bit more pyjama-y
than I expected.
530
00:30:52,607 --> 00:30:54,245
I can't face it, Rae.
531
00:30:55,287 --> 00:30:57,482
What are you on about?
532
00:30:59,007 --> 00:31:00,440
Well... (SNIFFS)
533
00:31:01,847 --> 00:31:03,405
W...
534
00:31:03,447 --> 00:31:05,403
Well, what happens next?
535
00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:07,722
Business college.
536
00:31:07,767 --> 00:31:10,361
I don't know. I don't...
537
00:31:12,887 --> 00:31:17,199
I only got that because my dad plays golf
with the guy who runs it.
538
00:31:17,247 --> 00:31:19,636
And if I don't do that, then...
539
00:31:19,687 --> 00:31:22,440
then I don't know what I'm gonna do.
540
00:31:26,367 --> 00:31:29,882
I just know that
I won't get to do it with you.
541
00:31:29,927 --> 00:31:31,360
Chlo...
542
00:31:34,647 --> 00:31:35,875
Like...
543
00:31:35,927 --> 00:31:38,760
when you told me
to stop worrying about you.
544
00:31:40,327 --> 00:31:42,682
Well, I knew then that you were leaving.
545
00:31:42,727 --> 00:31:44,285
Yeah.
546
00:31:44,327 --> 00:31:46,158
Everyone's leaving, aren't they?
547
00:31:50,247 --> 00:31:52,681
The gang'll stay in touch,
for a bit, but...
548
00:31:54,247 --> 00:31:55,475
Well...
549
00:32:00,447 --> 00:32:02,005
It's just life, isn't it?
550
00:32:05,967 --> 00:32:07,241
But me and you...
551
00:32:07,287 --> 00:32:08,561
Right?
552
00:32:09,927 --> 00:32:13,283
We are Chloe and Rae.
We're not the gang.
553
00:32:15,807 --> 00:32:17,206
And if I go to Bristol...
554
00:32:18,487 --> 00:32:20,398
...then you can just come and visit.
555
00:32:20,447 --> 00:32:22,642
Yeah?
556
00:32:22,687 --> 00:32:24,837
Yeah, that'll be good.
557
00:32:24,887 --> 00:32:27,799
It doesn't matter where we are
or what we're doing...
558
00:32:29,007 --> 00:32:33,205
...I promise we are always gonna be
Chloe and Rae.
559
00:32:33,247 --> 00:32:34,680
Yeah?
560
00:32:36,447 --> 00:32:37,641
Yeah.
561
00:32:37,687 --> 00:32:39,996
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
562
00:32:41,207 --> 00:32:42,959
Chloe...
563
00:32:43,007 --> 00:32:44,326
What?
564
00:32:44,367 --> 00:32:47,916
I spent ages on this make-up
and you've made me cry!
565
00:32:47,967 --> 00:32:50,800
No, you made me cry!
566
00:32:50,847 --> 00:32:53,156
No, I was fine. It was you.
567
00:32:53,207 --> 00:32:55,084
Are you gonna go get ready, then?
568
00:32:55,127 --> 00:32:56,685
Yeah.
569
00:32:56,727 --> 00:32:59,287
And can I borrow some eyeliner
or something?
570
00:32:59,327 --> 00:33:01,636
- Yeah, I'll do your make-up.
- Thank you.
571
00:33:05,767 --> 00:33:08,042
- Izzy, what's happened to your arm?
- Oh, it's better now.
572
00:33:08,087 --> 00:33:09,361
I'll take it off in a minute.
573
00:33:09,407 --> 00:33:11,762
It clashes with my dress.
574
00:33:11,807 --> 00:33:14,162
Here he is.
575
00:33:16,087 --> 00:33:17,645
My date.
576
00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:21,920
You all look gorgeous. Hello!
577
00:33:21,967 --> 00:33:23,798
Mwah!
578
00:33:23,847 --> 00:33:25,326
Look at him. He's total lush.
579
00:33:26,527 --> 00:33:28,483
Hurry up, knobhead.
580
00:33:28,527 --> 00:33:30,722
Right, let's do this.
581
00:33:30,767 --> 00:33:32,325
Er, wait.
582
00:33:32,367 --> 00:33:35,962
Er, I know things
have been a bit tricky lately, um...
583
00:33:36,007 --> 00:33:37,679
but he wanted me to ask, so...
584
00:33:38,967 --> 00:33:42,562
...er, if Finn and you may be able
to be mates in the future...
585
00:33:42,607 --> 00:33:44,802
Archie, can we not do this now, please?
586
00:33:44,847 --> 00:33:47,236
CHOP: To be honest, Raemundo,
he kind of needs to know now.
587
00:33:47,287 --> 00:33:49,198
Cab's cost him a right fortune.
588
00:33:50,527 --> 00:33:51,721
(CAR DOOR SHUTS)
589
00:33:53,367 --> 00:33:56,404
(# WHAM!: Careless Whisper)
590
00:34:03,567 --> 00:34:06,400
Finn Nelson - late, not invited,
591
00:34:06,447 --> 00:34:10,042
taking his life in his own hands
just by being here
592
00:34:10,087 --> 00:34:12,237
and looking beyond sexy in a tuxedo,
593
00:34:12,287 --> 00:34:14,357
which, Dear Diary, is not the point.
594
00:34:20,127 --> 00:34:22,561
- CHOP: Izzy!
- (SOFTLY) Sorry.
595
00:34:22,607 --> 00:34:23,596
Archie!
596
00:34:27,967 --> 00:34:30,003
Well, this was awkward.
597
00:34:30,047 --> 00:34:32,356
(# ALL SAINTS: Never Ever)
598
00:34:33,487 --> 00:34:35,443
(SIGHS)
599
00:34:35,487 --> 00:34:39,878
- Rae, I, um... I-I kissed Katie...
- Finn... It's fine.
600
00:34:39,927 --> 00:34:41,155
No, it's not.
601
00:34:42,367 --> 00:34:44,198
I hurt you, and...
602
00:34:46,047 --> 00:34:47,958
...I'm sorry.
603
00:34:49,527 --> 00:34:51,518
You spend all this time saying how...
604
00:34:51,567 --> 00:34:54,035
how you're not good enough for me,
but I'm not good enough for you.
605
00:34:57,527 --> 00:35:00,724
I'm no better than any of the other
19-year-old knobheads out there.
606
00:35:00,767 --> 00:35:03,600
Are you criticising my taste in men now,
or what?
607
00:35:03,647 --> 00:35:05,319
I'm serious, Rae.
608
00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:09,603
I let you down.
609
00:35:09,647 --> 00:35:11,603
Listen...
610
00:35:13,367 --> 00:35:17,804
...I shouldn't have made out
that you were Mr Perfect.
611
00:35:19,127 --> 00:35:20,560
It wasn't fair.
612
00:35:22,607 --> 00:35:23,926
But me and you...
613
00:35:25,567 --> 00:35:27,159
...we're gonna be all right.
614
00:35:30,207 --> 00:35:32,801
And you know why, don't you?
615
00:35:34,327 --> 00:35:35,885
Cos me and you, we...
616
00:35:37,127 --> 00:35:38,845
...we don't always have to be an "us".
617
00:35:41,567 --> 00:35:44,764
And just because we're not together now,
Finn Nelson...
618
00:35:44,807 --> 00:35:46,525
doesn't mean that we'll never be.
619
00:35:47,967 --> 00:35:49,195
OK?
620
00:35:49,247 --> 00:35:50,566
Yeah.
621
00:35:53,087 --> 00:35:55,476
If it all goes tits-up in Bristol...
622
00:35:56,967 --> 00:35:58,685
...you know where to find me, don't you?
623
00:36:00,767 --> 00:36:02,678
Finn, if...
624
00:36:02,727 --> 00:36:04,365
if it goes tits-up in Bristol...
625
00:36:05,527 --> 00:36:06,596
...then...
626
00:36:08,407 --> 00:36:11,956
...well, I'm just gonna have to
figure it out on my own.
627
00:36:19,567 --> 00:36:22,127
Can I have... one last kiss?
628
00:36:23,247 --> 00:36:25,841
Just to say goodbye.
629
00:36:28,127 --> 00:36:29,355
No.
630
00:36:31,007 --> 00:36:33,999
A kiss would be a backward step,
wouldn't it?
631
00:36:37,687 --> 00:36:39,279
Shall we have a drink?
632
00:36:40,927 --> 00:36:42,963
Come on, it's meant to be a party.
633
00:36:43,007 --> 00:36:44,679
- Cheers.
- M'dear.
634
00:36:44,727 --> 00:36:46,206
- M'dear!
- M'dear.
635
00:36:49,167 --> 00:36:51,362
(# BOYZONE: No Matter What)
636
00:36:55,127 --> 00:36:58,085
I wasn't gonna melt into his arms.
637
00:36:58,127 --> 00:37:02,723
But I did want to be with him
in that moment.
638
00:37:02,767 --> 00:37:04,917
Even if Boyzone were playing.
639
00:37:16,127 --> 00:37:18,846
I've got something to show you.
640
00:37:23,047 --> 00:37:24,605
(# FATBOY SLIM: Praise You)
641
00:37:24,647 --> 00:37:26,205
What?!
642
00:37:26,247 --> 00:37:27,726
Oh, Izzy!
643
00:37:29,687 --> 00:37:32,281
- Look what Izzy's got.
- It matches Chop's.
644
00:37:32,327 --> 00:37:34,363
No! Are you joking me?
645
00:37:34,407 --> 00:37:37,558
- Izzy!
- Do you love it?
646
00:37:37,607 --> 00:37:39,245
- Will you get one?
- No!
647
00:37:39,287 --> 00:37:41,084
We should all get the same one.
648
00:37:42,287 --> 00:37:45,085
ALL: Stan Ford forever!
649
00:37:45,127 --> 00:37:46,640
(ALL CHEER)
650
00:37:46,687 --> 00:37:48,757
# ...Praise you
651
00:37:50,087 --> 00:37:52,396
# I have to praise you
652
00:37:54,567 --> 00:37:56,398
# I have to praise you
653
00:37:58,887 --> 00:38:01,117
# I have to praise you
654
00:38:02,847 --> 00:38:05,566
# I have to praise you
655
00:38:07,847 --> 00:38:10,077
# I have to praise you
656
00:38:12,287 --> 00:38:14,039
♪ I have to praise you... ♪
657
00:38:16,487 --> 00:38:18,398
DANNY TWO HATS: Here we go.
658
00:38:18,447 --> 00:38:21,439
16 electric whiskies.
659
00:38:21,487 --> 00:38:24,524
- Who's playing here tonight, then, Danny?
- Go on, Uncle Archie, mate!
660
00:38:24,567 --> 00:38:26,159
(CHEERING)
661
00:38:28,047 --> 00:38:30,959
I'd like to dedicate this song
to my best mates.
662
00:38:33,927 --> 00:38:35,326
Whoever they go on to be.
663
00:38:35,367 --> 00:38:38,120
(GUITAR INTRO: # Lucky Man)
664
00:38:42,327 --> 00:38:43,919
# Happiness
665
00:38:43,967 --> 00:38:45,480
# More or less
666
00:38:45,527 --> 00:38:49,076
# It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
667
00:38:49,127 --> 00:38:52,836
# Oh, my, my
668
00:38:55,727 --> 00:38:58,844
# Happiness
Coming and going
669
00:38:58,887 --> 00:39:02,641
# I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing, I know
670
00:39:02,687 --> 00:39:05,963
# Just where I am
671
00:39:08,167 --> 00:39:11,557
# How many corners do I have to turn?
672
00:39:11,607 --> 00:39:14,917
# How many times do I have to learn
673
00:39:14,967 --> 00:39:19,995
# All the love I have is in my mind?
674
00:39:20,047 --> 00:39:24,723
ALL: # But I'm a lucky man
675
00:39:27,527 --> 00:39:31,156
# With fire in my hands
676
00:39:34,447 --> 00:39:37,837
# But I'm a lucky man
677
00:39:40,767 --> 00:39:44,680
# Fire in my hands
678
00:39:47,447 --> 00:39:50,519
ARCHIE: # I'm a lucky man... #
679
00:39:50,567 --> 00:39:52,398
None of us knew what was coming next,
680
00:39:52,447 --> 00:39:54,802
or who we would become.
681
00:39:54,847 --> 00:39:57,680
ALL: # ...Fire in my hands... #
682
00:39:57,727 --> 00:40:01,117
We just knew that being together
was the best way of saying goodbye.
683
00:40:01,167 --> 00:40:02,680
(# THE VERVE: Lucky Man)
684
00:40:02,727 --> 00:40:05,116
# Happiness
Something in my own place
685
00:40:05,167 --> 00:40:08,716
# I'm stood here naked
Smiling, I feel no disgrace
686
00:40:08,767 --> 00:40:11,884
♪ With who I am... ♪
687
00:40:14,487 --> 00:40:16,079
Izzy got three Cs.
688
00:40:16,127 --> 00:40:20,200
More than enough to go and do textiles
at Peterborough College of Design.
689
00:40:20,247 --> 00:40:21,999
Rachel Earl.
690
00:40:24,447 --> 00:40:27,837
And Chloe did way better
than anyone expected.
691
00:40:29,087 --> 00:40:30,759
In her retakes, that is.
692
00:40:33,007 --> 00:40:34,804
I didn't open mine straightaway.
693
00:40:35,247 --> 00:40:37,761
I had more important things to do.
694
00:40:38,287 --> 00:40:43,361
# ...I hope you understand
695
00:40:45,127 --> 00:40:48,483
♪ I hope you understand... ♪
696
00:40:49,967 --> 00:40:51,844
We've still got one session left.
697
00:40:56,407 --> 00:41:00,446
As I was walking over here,
a bird took a dump and just missed me.
698
00:41:00,487 --> 00:41:02,398
Just missed my head.
699
00:41:03,607 --> 00:41:06,883
So I like to think that, given
what happened the very first time we met,
700
00:41:06,927 --> 00:41:09,122
that I've made some progress.
701
00:41:09,167 --> 00:41:12,079
Well, maybe it's the pigeon
that's changed.
702
00:41:16,047 --> 00:41:17,560
(SIGHS)
703
00:41:23,887 --> 00:41:25,559
So what did you need?
704
00:41:25,607 --> 00:41:27,120
To get into Bristol?
705
00:41:28,527 --> 00:41:30,677
Two As and a B.
706
00:41:34,647 --> 00:41:35,966
(SNIFFS)
707
00:41:36,007 --> 00:41:37,565
Congratulations.
708
00:41:52,607 --> 00:41:53,801
There you go.
709
00:41:58,927 --> 00:42:02,283
- See ya.
- No, not if I see you first.
710
00:42:02,327 --> 00:42:04,795
(# RADIOHEAD: Creep)
711
00:42:23,007 --> 00:42:25,567
# When you were here before
712
00:42:28,327 --> 00:42:30,795
# Couldn't look you in the eye
713
00:42:33,527 --> 00:42:35,245
♪ You're just like an angel... ♪
714
00:42:35,287 --> 00:42:39,917
Karim asked me to make sure
you didn't forget your chain.
715
00:42:39,967 --> 00:42:43,004
# ... Your skin makes me cry
716
00:42:45,807 --> 00:42:49,686
# You float like a feather
717
00:42:52,047 --> 00:42:54,481
# In a beautiful world
718
00:42:57,687 --> 00:43:00,963
# I wish I was special
719
00:43:03,687 --> 00:43:05,837
♪ You're so very special... ♪
720
00:43:05,887 --> 00:43:08,447
Dear Diary. That's the secret, I reckon.
721
00:43:08,487 --> 00:43:11,160
♪ ...And I'm a creep... ♪
722
00:43:11,207 --> 00:43:15,803
You don't need fixed ideas about
who you are or where you're headed.
723
00:43:15,847 --> 00:43:18,884
# ...I'm a weirdo
724
00:43:20,527 --> 00:43:22,802
♪ What the hell am I doing here? ♪
725
00:43:22,847 --> 00:43:27,204
You don't need offers or grades
or stamps of approval.
726
00:43:27,247 --> 00:43:29,636
# ...I don't belong here
727
00:43:32,567 --> 00:43:34,842
# I don't care if it hurts
728
00:43:37,927 --> 00:43:40,805
# I want to have control
729
00:43:43,287 --> 00:43:47,644
♪ I want a perfect body... ♪
730
00:43:47,687 --> 00:43:51,475
You just need to be ready to cope
with whatever crap comes your way.
731
00:43:51,527 --> 00:43:54,963
# ...I want a perfect soul
732
00:43:55,007 --> 00:43:58,966
♪ I want you to notice... ♪
733
00:43:59,007 --> 00:44:01,760
And as for all the crazy shit...
734
00:44:01,807 --> 00:44:03,877
♪ ... When I'm not around... ♪
735
00:44:03,927 --> 00:44:06,521
...the mental screw-ups and the madness...
736
00:44:06,567 --> 00:44:10,321
♪ ... You're so very special... ♪
737
00:44:10,367 --> 00:44:13,040
...well, that's mine, Dear Diary.
738
00:44:13,087 --> 00:44:15,521
♪ ...I wish I was special... ♪
739
00:44:15,567 --> 00:44:17,922
I get to keep that.
740
00:44:17,967 --> 00:44:20,765
# ...But I'm a creep
741
00:44:24,647 --> 00:44:27,798
♪ I'm a weirdo... ♪
742
00:44:27,847 --> 00:44:29,724
That travels with me.
743
00:44:29,767 --> 00:44:33,726
# ... What the hell am I doing here?
744
00:44:35,807 --> 00:44:39,925
# When I don't belong here
745
00:44:39,967 --> 00:44:43,243
# Whoa, whoa
746
00:44:43,287 --> 00:44:53,800
# She's running out again
747
00:44:53,847 --> 00:45:00,116
# She's running out
748
00:45:00,167 --> 00:45:03,842
# She run, run, run
749
00:45:03,887 --> 00:45:12,124
# Run...
750
00:45:16,967 --> 00:45:26,239
# Run...
751
00:45:27,327 --> 00:45:30,239
♪ Whatever makes you happy. ♪