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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com
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Where's Chelsea? Why isn't she back yet?
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Honey, I'm sure Farkle
took very good care of her.
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Hey, Matthews, why are you making us do
the whole class-mascot thing anyway?
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Don't ruin this for me, Maya.
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Everybody got the chance to
take Chelsea home for a week
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and now it's my turn and
I'm looking forward to it.
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Good, because if you bring her back safely,
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Chelsea will have survived the whole class.
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Then it's as good as done.
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You know I am fantastic with pets.
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Mr. Puffles.
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That was sad.
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It's Chelsea! It is.
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Nice job, Farkle.
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Here's your sticker.
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Chelsea!
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Are you ready to come to our house?
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Hey, Farkle, did you go
to Phil's fish store?
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Why would you ask me that, Auggie?
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Why would you think that?
Why would you say that? Why?
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Elementary, my dear Farkle.
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There's a new castle in the bowl.
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Very impressive, Auggie.
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Yeah, he watches "owl detective" every day.
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He always knows whodunnit.
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Hoooo-dunnit!
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Every day.
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Okay, Riley, she's all yours.
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Now all you have to do
is feed her once a day
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and every once in a while,
you throw her a compliment.
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You are talking about the fish, right?
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No.
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All right, is she all ready to go, Auggie?
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All fed and ready to go.
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Riley, here's Chelsea.
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She means the world to me.
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Don't blow this.
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This fish is in good hands.
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Let me just get our first picture together.
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Um...
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What?
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Let me take another one.
Chelsea's upside-down.
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Oh, boy.
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"Day one, I died!"
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Chelsea!
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No, I'll cry for you later.
48
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Right now there's a mystery to be solved.
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What mystery, Auggie? I killed the fish.
50
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No, you did not kill this fish.
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This fish was the victim of foul play.
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Somebody here is responsible.
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The only question is...
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Oh, no.
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...Hooooo-dunnit?!
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The dame was 39 lbs of blue-eyed dynamite.
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T.N.T...
Teeth...
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And teeth.
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They call her "lady a"
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because she writes her "a" s good.
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Let's go over the suspect list, doll face.
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I like when she calls me doll face.
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Makes me feel dainty.
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Chelsea was kaput, belly up.
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Of this, there is no question.
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The only question was...
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I want to do this with you!
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Fine, on three.
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One...
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hoooo-dunnit!
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Why do I always let you get away with this?
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Because I've got the best
baby teeth in the business.
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Have my owl detectives cracked the case?
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The other woman in my life.
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Some call her Topanga.
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I call her mommy.
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- Ava?
- Topanga?
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These two are icier than two popsicles...
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In Alaska in the winter
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that don't like each other.
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I brought your favorite.
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Graham crackers!
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Maya.
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- Phil.
- Oh, you two know each other?
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Actually, I'm familiar
with your whole class.
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Oh, do you have a son or
daughter at John Q. Adams?
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00:05:05,842 --> 00:05:08,977
Well, you might say I have a whole
school of kids at John Q. Adams.
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What a random and curious comment
to make, "fish store Phil."
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00:05:12,749 --> 00:05:15,784
Oh, she doesn't... - No no, this
one's very trusting and sensitive.
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Ooh, I like people like that.
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Do you got your own debit card, young lady?
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Phil.
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Sorry.
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It's our class goldfish, Chelsea.
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She made it through the whole year,
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right up until it was
my turn to take her home.
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And then she...
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and then she...
is she dead?
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Because either she is dead
or she is so so very tired.
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Can you wake her up, "fish store Phil?"
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Uh, what do I do?
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You wake her up, Phil.
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Okay, I see how this is.
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Well, it's a bright sunshiny day.
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Time to wake up and have some French
toast and get to the ol' fish job.
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Dead.
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00:06:00,864 --> 00:06:02,831
Well, he tried.
108
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Yes, I tried really hard.
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Well, I guess I always
knew, "fish store Phil."
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Chelsea did not survive Riley.
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What will happen to her now?
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- Oh, she'll go in the potty.
- The potty?!
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Uh, whoop whoop, "da party!"
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Okay, we'll go that way.
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Young lady, how would you like
to watch your goldfish loved one
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swim to that great fishbowl in the sky?
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I would like that very
much, "fish store Phil," yes.
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How does she get there?
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Well, the 4:15 express
is leaving right now.
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Get her on it! Get her on it!
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Close your eyes with me,
Riley. Let's bow our heads.
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Of course.
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What was that?
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That... that was the sound of Chelsea's
fish soul swimming up to fish heaven.
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But it sounded a lot like a toilet...
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who are you to question
the ways of fish heaven?
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00:07:01,057 --> 00:07:06,594
Do you think you might possibly have
another one that looks like Chelsea?
128
00:07:11,367 --> 00:07:15,036
Why don't you have
yourself a little looky-see
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and maybe you'll locate another
unique and one-of-a-kind orange one.
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This one.
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It's a miracle.
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Chelsea is replaced.
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So ends the long, glorious reign of
Chelsea the first, long live Chelsea ii!
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Nobody miff.
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- Miff?
- No, don't miff.
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Don't miff?
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Too late. You miffed.
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The reason you have all been summoned
here today is that Chelsea the first
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is dead, which means that one of
the people in this room is...
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A muh-deh-her.
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I'm going to talk to Farkle first.
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Why? 'Cause you think I'll crack?
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Well, I'm not the one who's
going to crack, pally boy.
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It's going to take a lot
better than you to crack me.
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Okay, um, I just need the sound of
Graham-cracker crunching to stop.
146
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It's just that particular
sound that really bothers me.
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I need it to stop, please.
148
00:09:01,044 --> 00:09:04,913
Look, I don't even know if
you know you're doing it,
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00:09:04,915 --> 00:09:07,015
but I need it to stop. I really do.
150
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Thank you.
151
00:09:13,222 --> 00:09:15,757
I can't take it!
152
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I confess!
153
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What?
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I killed Chelsea.
155
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These don't taste as good
when you're a muh-deh-her.
156
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I'm not worthy of this
sticker. I'm not worthy.
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I can't believe that you
killed my fish, Farkle.
158
00:09:44,521 --> 00:09:47,188
No, not your
fish... my fish.
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00:09:47,190 --> 00:09:50,058
You weren't the only one
who had to replace Chelsea.
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I replaced her too.
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What? When?!
162
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In the middle of my week.
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Everything went so well
on Monday and Tuesday.
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On Wednesday, I decided to give her a bath.
165
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What?!
166
00:09:59,869 --> 00:10:02,937
- On Thursday...
- Wait wait, go back.
167
00:10:02,939 --> 00:10:04,806
I took Chelsea to the birdbath.
168
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She looked like she was
having such a great time.
169
00:10:06,843 --> 00:10:10,078
I didn't think anything when the
first bird sat on the telephone wire.
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Before you knew it, I
couldn't see the sky anymore.
171
00:10:12,849 --> 00:10:14,849
Did you know goldfish can scream?
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- They can't.
- Then it was me!
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I scream like a goldfish.
174
00:10:20,923 --> 00:10:23,992
Anyway, all the birds
swooped down at the same time
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00:10:23,994 --> 00:10:25,526
in a fascinating migratory pattern.
176
00:10:25,528 --> 00:10:27,829
It was like a national geographic special.
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00:10:27,831 --> 00:10:29,839
I caught a little on my phone.
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00:10:33,103 --> 00:10:37,939
And surprisingly, as smart as I am, you
would think I'd have learned my lesson
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00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:39,807
not to put the next Chelsea in a birdbath.
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00:10:39,809 --> 00:10:42,143
This one I put in my cat's water dish.
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You didn't?!
182
00:10:44,914 --> 00:10:47,215
No, Fluffy, new Chelsea's taking a bath!
183
00:10:49,085 --> 00:10:52,453
Anyhoo, I replaced my new
Chelsea with another Chelsea
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00:10:52,455 --> 00:10:54,455
and came right to
school. So as you can see,
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I had nothing to do with
the death of your Chelsea.
186
00:10:56,826 --> 00:11:00,328
So the current Chelsea
isn't Chelsea #2 at all.
187
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She's Chelsea #4.
188
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Five.
189
00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:06,334
How?
190
00:11:06,336 --> 00:11:11,139
I was too ashamed to tell you about our
trip to the empire state building.
191
00:11:11,141 --> 00:11:14,409
I took her all the way up
and sat her on the ledge.
192
00:11:14,411 --> 00:11:17,211
And then I said, "lean back a little."
193
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And she listened to me.
194
00:11:26,088 --> 00:11:28,890
So this is the hot seat, huh?
195
00:11:28,892 --> 00:11:31,492
It is when you're in it, big boy.
196
00:11:31,494 --> 00:11:33,161
- Ava!
- Lucas.
197
00:11:33,163 --> 00:11:34,295
Me?
198
00:11:34,297 --> 00:11:36,130
Okay, Lucas, spill it.
199
00:11:36,132 --> 00:11:37,565
- Spill what?
- The beans.
200
00:11:37,567 --> 00:11:39,901
- What does that mean?
- It's what owl detective says.
201
00:11:39,903 --> 00:11:41,102
Thank you, Riley.
202
00:11:41,104 --> 00:11:42,603
You're welcome, I'm sure.
203
00:11:42,605 --> 00:11:44,372
So what about those beans?
204
00:11:44,374 --> 00:11:46,541
- I don't have any beans.
- Then sing like a canary.
205
00:11:46,543 --> 00:11:48,910
- I don't sing so good.
- Then let the cat out of the bag.
206
00:11:48,912 --> 00:11:51,312
- I'm more of a dog person.
- Aw, me too.
207
00:11:52,548 --> 00:11:54,482
Just tell them what happened.
208
00:11:54,484 --> 00:11:56,384
I'm sure you have nothing to hide.
209
00:11:58,253 --> 00:11:59,420
Do you?
210
00:11:59,422 --> 00:12:02,356
Let me take you back
to the week of the 15th.
211
00:12:02,358 --> 00:12:05,059
- I don't want to go.
- You took Chelsea out of the classroom.
212
00:12:05,061 --> 00:12:06,594
- I took her straight home.
- No stops?
213
00:12:06,596 --> 00:12:08,563
- I wouldn't call it a stop.
- So what would you call it?
214
00:12:08,565 --> 00:12:10,098
- I'd call it a pause.
- So you paused.
215
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:12,066
Okay, I stopped.
216
00:12:12,068 --> 00:12:14,202
We had a baseball game
against Einstein academy.
217
00:12:14,204 --> 00:12:15,203
Tiggleman was on the mound.
218
00:12:15,205 --> 00:12:16,904
Curve-ball Tiggleman?
219
00:12:16,906 --> 00:12:19,107
Best in the league and no one can hit it.
220
00:12:19,109 --> 00:12:20,641
- Except you.
- Except me.
221
00:12:20,643 --> 00:12:22,677
And he knows that, but he is proud, see?
222
00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:24,645
So I says... I says, "Tig, please.
223
00:12:24,647 --> 00:12:26,981
I put Chelsea in the bleachers
'cause it's nice and shady over there,
224
00:12:26,983 --> 00:12:28,983
so lay off the curve because
you know where it's going."
225
00:12:28,985 --> 00:12:30,418
- The bleachers.
- Yeah, the bleachers.
226
00:12:30,420 --> 00:12:31,953
Guess what pitch the jerk throws.
227
00:12:31,955 --> 00:12:33,454
- The curve.
- The curve.
228
00:12:33,456 --> 00:12:35,523
So where'd you hit the ball, Lucas?
229
00:12:35,525 --> 00:12:38,092
It was impossible.
230
00:12:38,094 --> 00:12:40,194
Impossible, I tells ya.
231
00:12:40,196 --> 00:12:42,263
Chelsea caught my home-run ball...
232
00:12:42,265 --> 00:12:44,132
In the head.
233
00:12:44,134 --> 00:12:47,168
The sound of her fishbowl
shattering has haunted me ever since.
234
00:12:47,170 --> 00:12:51,038
Yeah, I was at the game. I
caught it all on my phone!
235
00:12:52,074 --> 00:12:53,975
Oh, no, run!
236
00:12:53,977 --> 00:12:55,543
Chelsea, run!
237
00:12:55,545 --> 00:12:58,212
Chelsea!
238
00:12:58,214 --> 00:13:00,548
Oh, you absolutely
hate to see this, folks.
239
00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:03,017
You're swimming around,
enjoying a great game
240
00:13:03,019 --> 00:13:04,385
and then boom! Dead!
241
00:13:04,387 --> 00:13:08,156
Meanwhile, Lucas Friar crosses
home plate and Quincy wins!
242
00:13:08,158 --> 00:13:10,291
You ran the bases?
243
00:13:10,293 --> 00:13:13,161
I had to. Otherwise she died for nothing.
244
00:13:13,163 --> 00:13:15,363
But I had nothing to do with what
happened to your Chelsea, Riley.
245
00:13:15,365 --> 00:13:18,132
- I promise.
- You mean Chelsea #6.
246
00:13:18,134 --> 00:13:19,333
Seven.
247
00:13:19,335 --> 00:13:22,203
I had a double header.
248
00:13:27,609 --> 00:13:29,343
You'll never break me, Auggie.
249
00:13:29,345 --> 00:13:31,145
Oh, you'll blink first.
250
00:13:31,147 --> 00:13:32,313
What makes you so sure?
251
00:13:32,315 --> 00:13:33,981
I'm an owl.
252
00:13:36,185 --> 00:13:38,753
- All right, I went through seven fish.
- What?!
253
00:13:38,755 --> 00:13:40,755
Riley, they're goldfish. We're kids.
254
00:13:40,757 --> 00:13:42,356
Kids are the natural enemy of goldfish
255
00:13:42,358 --> 00:13:44,091
and the natural meal
ticket of "fish store Phil"
256
00:13:44,093 --> 00:13:45,226
who makes a fortune off of us.
257
00:13:45,228 --> 00:13:47,094
How can he make a fortune, Maya?
258
00:13:47,096 --> 00:13:48,362
They cost $1 each.
259
00:13:48,364 --> 00:13:50,565
He sells them to every kid in every school
260
00:13:50,567 --> 00:13:52,733
in every class in the tristate area.
261
00:13:52,735 --> 00:13:56,170
You do the math, 'cause
you know me and math.
262
00:13:56,172 --> 00:13:58,539
Wow, Phil the fish guy,
263
00:13:58,541 --> 00:14:03,244
cleaning up on the heartbreak
of the class mascot business.
264
00:14:03,246 --> 00:14:08,316
Riley, I hate to break it to you, but
Chelsea hasn't survived any of us.
265
00:14:08,318 --> 00:14:10,418
Every kid in the class replaced her.
266
00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:13,120
I am not gonna believe this.
267
00:14:13,122 --> 00:14:19,260
I know my classmates and they are a
loving and caring group of children,
268
00:14:19,262 --> 00:14:26,767
who place value on the spark of life even
in the smallest of living creatures.
269
00:14:28,437 --> 00:14:30,605
Okay.
270
00:14:36,178 --> 00:14:39,280
All right, how many of
you knocked off a fish?
271
00:14:41,083 --> 00:14:43,084
How many fish you all knocked off?
272
00:14:44,419 --> 00:14:46,254
Et tu, yogi?
273
00:14:47,422 --> 00:14:49,056
No, he had three.
274
00:14:50,225 --> 00:14:52,093
Go on, get out of here.
275
00:14:52,095 --> 00:14:55,096
I can't even look at you guys
anymore. Just get out of here!
276
00:14:57,366 --> 00:15:04,338
Chelsea 105, on behalf of all of my
fellow human beings, I am so sorry.
277
00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:06,173
You and your little fish friends
278
00:15:06,175 --> 00:15:09,277
all deserve to be safe
in your goldfish bowls.
279
00:15:09,279 --> 00:15:13,114
I wish there was a way you guys could
all take care of each other somehow.
280
00:15:13,116 --> 00:15:15,316
But you're only stuck with us.
281
00:15:16,718 --> 00:15:18,419
I am sorry.
282
00:15:18,421 --> 00:15:21,155
Okay, you're all free to go.
283
00:15:24,426 --> 00:15:29,196
Don't nobody leave town.
284
00:15:30,599 --> 00:15:33,100
What about my Chelsea, Auggie?
285
00:15:33,102 --> 00:15:35,503
Her killer still walks among us.
286
00:15:35,505 --> 00:15:39,473
I just don't know hoooo!
287
00:15:44,346 --> 00:15:46,714
Hi, Chelsea.
288
00:15:46,716 --> 00:15:49,317
Are you hungry? Riley's right.
289
00:15:49,319 --> 00:15:52,853
We need to take good care of you.
290
00:15:52,855 --> 00:15:55,156
Auggie, stop. What are you doing?
291
00:15:55,158 --> 00:15:57,725
I'm feeding Chelsea 105.
292
00:15:57,727 --> 00:16:00,294
You can't feed a fish Graham crackers.
293
00:16:01,864 --> 00:16:03,464
You can't?
294
00:16:03,466 --> 00:16:04,799
No!
295
00:16:04,801 --> 00:16:08,336
Well, this seems like the real problem.
296
00:16:17,679 --> 00:16:20,848
Oh, no.
297
00:16:20,850 --> 00:16:25,319
I-I-I-I-I-dunnit!
298
00:16:34,930 --> 00:16:38,933
Aw, honey, don't be
sad. You solved the case!
299
00:16:38,935 --> 00:16:41,702
I fed Chelsea Graham crackers.
300
00:16:41,704 --> 00:16:42,903
Maybe that wasn't it.
301
00:16:42,905 --> 00:16:45,239
Oh, it was it!
302
00:16:45,241 --> 00:16:46,874
Ava!
303
00:16:46,876 --> 00:16:49,543
She's right. Graham
crackers expand in water.
304
00:16:49,545 --> 00:16:50,911
- Farkle!
- He's right.
305
00:16:50,913 --> 00:16:53,714
- So the crumbs expanded inside her.
- Lucas!
306
00:16:53,716 --> 00:16:55,549
- He's right.
- Maya!
307
00:16:59,354 --> 00:17:01,922
I 'sploded Chelsea 104.
308
00:17:01,924 --> 00:17:05,459
I feel bad for what I done.
Will I ever feel better?
309
00:17:09,731 --> 00:17:13,300
No, you probably shouldn't put her near me.
310
00:17:13,302 --> 00:17:15,469
Why not? She's yours.
311
00:17:15,471 --> 00:17:16,670
She is?
312
00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:21,342
Yeah, you take this one.
313
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:25,279
I'm going to pay Phil the
fish guy one more little visit.
314
00:17:25,281 --> 00:17:26,714
But I made a mistake.
315
00:17:26,716 --> 00:17:30,217
But I know you, Auggie.
You won't do it again.
316
00:17:30,219 --> 00:17:34,355
It is no mystery to me that you'll
take very good care of her.
317
00:17:36,491 --> 00:17:39,627
My sister is some dame, ain't she?
318
00:17:39,629 --> 00:17:41,662
She knows just how to pick up the spirits
319
00:17:41,664 --> 00:17:44,331
of a heartbroken little detective like me.
320
00:17:50,639 --> 00:17:54,909
This wraps up the case of the
fish who ate the Graham cracker.
321
00:17:54,911 --> 00:17:57,244
Now that I heard the name of the case,
322
00:17:57,246 --> 00:17:59,880
I guess I should have known what happened.
323
00:18:10,459 --> 00:18:12,793
How ya doin', Phil?
324
00:18:12,795 --> 00:18:15,963
Well, my my my. What have we here?
325
00:18:15,965 --> 00:18:19,700
All my favorite customers
here at the same time.
326
00:18:19,702 --> 00:18:22,036
Ooh, excuse me a minute while I consider
327
00:18:22,038 --> 00:18:24,839
which chateau in France I'll
be staying at this summer.
328
00:18:24,841 --> 00:18:29,276
One goldfish for our whole class, please.
329
00:18:29,278 --> 00:18:32,847
Looks like you finally met
your match on this one, Phil.
330
00:18:32,849 --> 00:18:34,281
Hmm!
331
00:18:34,283 --> 00:18:36,684
Y'all gonna keep this
one alive, huh, birdbath?
332
00:18:36,686 --> 00:18:39,286
What you laughin' at, slugger?
333
00:18:39,288 --> 00:18:40,621
Nothing.
334
00:18:42,057 --> 00:18:44,291
We'll take this one.
335
00:18:44,293 --> 00:18:45,187
Okay.
336
00:18:45,218 --> 00:18:48,762
How long are goldfish supposed to live?
337
00:18:48,764 --> 00:18:52,700
Well, with proper care,
they can go 15, 20 years.
338
00:18:52,702 --> 00:18:54,969
Then that's when we'll see you next.
339
00:18:54,971 --> 00:18:56,437
Right, guys?
340
00:18:57,606 --> 00:18:59,573
I hope so, kid. I'll miss you.
341
00:18:59,575 --> 00:19:01,108
- You will?
- Yeah.
342
00:19:01,110 --> 00:19:04,612
You're sincere, you're
honest. You changed me today.
343
00:19:04,614 --> 00:19:06,046
Really?
344
00:19:06,048 --> 00:19:09,083
Yeah. That'll be $17,000.
345
00:19:09,085 --> 00:19:12,386
- Phil.
- Okay.
346
00:19:13,955 --> 00:19:15,923
This one's on me.
347
00:19:15,925 --> 00:19:18,692
Thank you, "fish store Phil."
348
00:19:33,642 --> 00:19:38,345
Okay, dad, so what was the
purpose of this horrible lesson?
349
00:19:38,347 --> 00:19:39,980
There was no lesson.
350
00:19:39,982 --> 00:19:42,950
Oh, come on, Matthews. There's
always a lesson with you.
351
00:19:42,952 --> 00:19:45,452
You wouldn't have put these
goldfish in our hands for no reason.
352
00:19:45,454 --> 00:19:46,987
Sorry, guys.
353
00:19:46,989 --> 00:19:51,358
No lesson here, except
whatever you came up with.
354
00:19:52,460 --> 00:19:56,797
This goldfish is going to live 15 years.
355
00:19:56,799 --> 00:19:57,659
Why is that?
356
00:19:57,690 --> 00:20:01,101
Because there's supposed
to be that much life in her.
357
00:20:01,103 --> 00:20:04,104
And everything alive deserves to be...
358
00:20:04,106 --> 00:20:05,539
cared for the right way.
359
00:20:06,708 --> 00:20:09,076
Very good.
360
00:20:09,078 --> 00:20:10,978
Oh, by the way...
361
00:20:10,980 --> 00:20:13,480
I knew it!
362
00:20:13,482 --> 00:20:16,450
Permission slips for the class retreat.
363
00:20:16,452 --> 00:20:19,053
We're going to the berkshire
mountains this year.
364
00:20:19,055 --> 00:20:22,022
I want you to all watch out for each other.
365
00:20:22,024 --> 00:20:25,092
Let's bring everybody home safe and sound.
366
00:20:25,094 --> 00:20:27,061
You think you can do that?
367
00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:36,070
Yeah, I think you can too.
368
00:20:55,791 --> 00:21:03,791
Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea,
Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea,
369
00:21:05,668 --> 00:21:13,668
Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea,
Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea.