1
00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:08,014
WHERE'S CHELSEA?
WHY ISN'T SHE BACK YET?

2
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:10,325
HONEY, I'M SURE FARKLE
TOOK VERY GOOD CARE OF HER.

3
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:11,927
HEY, MATTHEWS,
WHY ARE YOU MAKING US

4
00:00:11,962 --> 00:00:13,019
DO THE WHOLE CLASS-MASCOT THING
ANYWAY?

5
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:15,197
DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME, MAYA.

6
00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:18,100
EVERYBODY GOT THE CHANCE
TO TAKE CHELSEA HOME FOR A WEEK

7
00:00:18,102 --> 00:00:20,760
AND NOW IT'S MY TURN
AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

8
00:00:20,795 --> 00:00:23,046
GOOD, BECAUSE IF YOU
BRING HER BACK SAFELY,

9
00:00:23,082 --> 00:00:25,632
CHELSEA WILL HAVE SURVIVED
THE WHOLE CLASS.

10
00:00:25,667 --> 00:00:27,793
THEN IT'S AS GOOD AS DONE.

11
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:30,070
YOU KNOW I AM FANTASTIC
WITH PETS.

12
00:00:30,106 --> 00:00:31,980
MR. PUFFLES.

13
00:00:32,015 --> 00:00:34,191
THAT WAS SAD.

14
00:00:35,944 --> 00:00:38,645
IT'S CHELSEA!
IT IS.

15
00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:40,964
NICE JOB, FARKLE.

16
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,075
HERE'S YOUR STICKER.

17
00:00:44,686 --> 00:00:47,187
CHELSEA!

18
00:00:47,222 --> 00:00:49,506
ARE YOU READY TO COME
TO OUR HOUSE?

19
00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:51,200
HEY, FARKLE,

20
00:00:51,235 --> 00:00:53,318
DID YOU GO
TO PHIL'S FISH STORE?

21
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:55,195
WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT,
AUGGIE?

22
00:00:55,230 --> 00:00:56,488
WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? WHY?

23
00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:58,832
ELEMENTARY, MY DEAR FARKLE.

24
00:00:58,867 --> 00:01:00,934
THERE'S A NEW CASTLE
IN THE BOWL.

25
00:01:00,969 --> 00:01:02,928
VERY IMPRESSIVE, AUGGIE.

26
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:05,672
YEAH, HE WATCHES "OWL DETECTIVE"
EVERY DAY.

27
00:01:05,707 --> 00:01:07,532
HE ALWAYS KNOWS WHODUNNIT.

28
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,202
( sing-song )
HOOOO-DUNNIT!

29
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,412
EVERY DAY.

30
00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:14,715
OKAY, RILEY,
SHE'S ALL YOURS.

31
00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:17,176
NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS FEED HER ONCE A DAY

32
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:19,344
AND EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,
YOU THROW HER A COMPLIMENT.

33
00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:20,654
YOU ARE TALKING
ABOUT THE FISH, RIGHT?

34
00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:22,322
NO.

35
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,668
ALL RIGHT, IS SHE
ALL READY TO GO, AUGGIE?

36
00:01:26,703 --> 00:01:28,962
ALL FED AND READY TO GO.

37
00:01:28,997 --> 00:01:31,573
RILEY, HERE'S CHELSEA.

38
00:01:31,608 --> 00:01:32,999
SHE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME.

39
00:01:34,411 --> 00:01:36,778
DON'T BLOW THIS.

40
00:01:36,813 --> 00:01:38,913
THIS FISH IS IN GOOD HANDS.

41
00:01:38,949 --> 00:01:40,774
LET ME JUST GET
OUR FIRST PICTURE TOGETHER.

42
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,042
( clicks )

43
00:01:42,077 --> 00:01:43,593
UM...

44
00:01:43,628 --> 00:01:45,912
WHAT?

45
00:01:45,947 --> 00:01:47,422
LET ME TAKE ANOTHER ONE.
CHELSEA'S UPSIDE-DOWN.

46
00:01:47,457 --> 00:01:48,706
OH, BOY.

47
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:51,526
"DAY ONE, I DIED!"

48
00:01:51,561 --> 00:01:54,721
( all gasping )
CHELSEA!

49
00:01:54,756 --> 00:01:57,273
NO, I'LL CRY FOR YOU LATER.

50
00:01:57,308 --> 00:01:59,326
RIGHT NOW THERE'S A MYSTERY
TO BE SOLVED.

51
00:01:59,361 --> 00:02:02,312
WHAT MYSTERY, AUGGIE?
I KILLED THE FISH.

52
00:02:02,347 --> 00:02:04,339
NO, YOU DID NOT
KILL THIS FISH.

53
00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:07,116
THIS FISH WAS THE VICTIM
OF FOUL PLAY.

54
00:02:07,152 --> 00:02:11,671
SOMEBODY HERE
IS RESPONSIBLE.

55
00:02:11,706 --> 00:02:13,573
THE ONLY QUESTION IS...

56
00:02:13,608 --> 00:02:15,242
OH, NO.

57
00:02:15,277 --> 00:02:18,253
All:
...HOOOOO-DUNNIT?!

58
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,133
<i> ( theme music playing )</i>

59
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,804
<i> ♪ I'VE BEEN WAITING ♪</i>

60
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,614
<i> ♪ FOR A DAY LIKE THIS TO COME ♪</i>

61
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,942
<i> ♪ STRUCK LIKE LIGHTNING ♪</i>

62
00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:33,819
<i> ♪ MY HEART'S BEATING</i>
<i> LIKE A DRUM ♪</i>

63
00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:36,588
<i> ♪ ON THE EDGE OF SOMETHING ♪</i>

64
00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:38,122
<i> ♪ WONDERFUL ♪</i>

65
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,684
<i> ♪ FACE TO FACE</i>
<i> WITH CHANGES ♪</i>

66
00:02:40,719 --> 00:02:42,285
<i> ♪ WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT? ♪</i>

67
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,304
<i> ♪ LIFE IS CRAZY ♪</i>

68
00:02:44,339 --> 00:02:46,506
<i> ♪ BUT I KNOW</i>
<i> I CAN WORK IT OUT ♪</i>

69
00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:50,902
<i> ♪ 'CAUSE I GOT YOU</i>
<i> TO LIVE IT WITH ME ♪</i>

70
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:54,989
<i> ♪ I FEEL ALL RIGHT,</i>
<i> I'M GONNA TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪</i>

71
00:02:55,025 --> 00:02:57,600
<i> ♪ LIGHT UP THE STARS,</i>
<i> I'VE GOT SOME PAGES TO TURN ♪</i>

72
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,986
<i> ♪ I'M SINGING, OH OH OH ♪</i>

73
00:03:00,022 --> 00:03:03,081
<i> ♪ OH OH OH OH ♪</i>

74
00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:06,167
<i> ♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD,</i>
<i> TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪</i>

75
00:03:06,203 --> 00:03:08,562
<i> ♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD,</i>
<i> TAKE ON THE WORLD ♪</i>

76
00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:11,014
<i> ♪ TAKE ON THE WORLD,</i>
<i> TAKE ON THE WORLD. ♪</i>

77
00:03:13,010 --> 00:03:15,393
<i> ( noir music playing )</i>

78
00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:25,303
THE DAME WAS 39 lbs
OF BLUE-EYED DYNAMITE.

79
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:29,174
T.N.T.-TEETH...

80
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,450
AND TEETH.

81
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,788
( howling, panting )

82
00:03:36,541 --> 00:03:38,958
THEY CALL HER "LADY A"

83
00:03:38,994 --> 00:03:42,253
BECAUSE SHE WRITES
HER "A"s GOOD.

84
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:46,616
LET'S GO OVER THE SUSPECT LIST,
DOLL FACE.

85
00:03:46,651 --> 00:03:49,018
I LIKE WHEN SHE CALLS ME
DOLL FACE.

86
00:03:49,053 --> 00:03:51,980
MAKES ME FEEL DAINTY.

87
00:03:52,015 --> 00:03:55,734
CHELSEA WAS KAPUT,
BELLY UP.

88
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,902
OF THIS,
THERE IS NO QUESTION.

89
00:03:57,937 --> 00:04:00,138
THE ONLY QUESTION WAS--

90
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,024
I WANT TO DO THIS WITH YOU!

91
00:04:02,059 --> 00:04:04,318
FINE, ON THREE.

92
00:04:04,353 --> 00:04:05,535
Both:
ONE--

93
00:04:05,571 --> 00:04:08,980
HOOOO-DUNNIT!

94
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:11,691
WHY DO I ALWAYS LET YOU
GET AWAY WITH THIS?

95
00:04:11,727 --> 00:04:14,119
BECAUSE I'VE GOT THE BEST
BABY TEETH IN THE BUSINESS.

96
00:04:20,118 --> 00:04:23,111
HAVE MY OWL DETECTIVES
CRACKED THE CASE?

97
00:04:23,146 --> 00:04:25,263
THE OTHER WOMAN IN MY LIFE.

98
00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:27,782
SOME CALL HER TOPANGA.

99
00:04:27,818 --> 00:04:30,535
I CALL HER MOMMY.

100
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:33,939
AVA?
TOPANGA?

101
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:36,557
THESE TWO ARE ICIER
THAN TWO POPSICLES...

102
00:04:36,593 --> 00:04:39,845
IN ALASKA
IN THE WINTER

103
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,880
THAT DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER.

104
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,981
I BROUGHT
YOUR FAVORITE.

105
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:46,484
Both:
GRAHAM CRACKERS!

106
00:04:56,479 --> 00:04:58,846
MAYA.

107
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,416
PHIL.
OH, YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER?

108
00:05:01,451 --> 00:05:03,593
ACTUALLY, I'M FAMILIAR
WITH YOUR WHOLE CLASS.

109
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:07,180
OH, DO YOU HAVE A SON
OR DAUGHTER AT JOHN Q. ADAMS?

110
00:05:07,216 --> 00:05:10,217
WELL, YOU MIGHT SAY
I HAVE A WHOLE SCHOOL OF KIDS
AT JOHN Q. ADAMS.

111
00:05:10,252 --> 00:05:14,096
WHAT A RANDOM
AND CURIOUS COMMENT TO MAKE,
"FISH STORE PHIL."

112
00:05:14,131 --> 00:05:16,398
OH, SHE DOESN'T--
NO NO, THIS ONE'S
VERY TRUSTING AND SENSITIVE.

113
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:18,507
OOH, I LIKE PEOPLE
LIKE THAT.

114
00:05:18,543 --> 00:05:19,559
DO YOU GOT YOUR OWN DEBIT CARD,
YOUNG LADY?

115
00:05:19,594 --> 00:05:21,219
PHIL.

116
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:24,739
SORRY.

117
00:05:24,774 --> 00:05:27,934
IT'S OUR CLASS GOLDFISH,
CHELSEA.

118
00:05:27,969 --> 00:05:29,961
SHE MADE IT
THROUGH THE WHOLE YEAR,

119
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,154
RIGHT UP UNTIL IT WAS MY TURN
TO TAKE HER HOME.

120
00:05:31,189 --> 00:05:33,473
AND THEN SHE--

121
00:05:33,508 --> 00:05:35,292
AND THEN SHE--
IS SHE DEAD?

122
00:05:35,327 --> 00:05:40,471
BECAUSE EITHER SHE IS DEAD
OR SHE IS SO SO VERY TIRED.

123
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,474
CAN YOU WAKE HER UP,
"FISH STORE PHIL?"

124
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,552
( between teeth )
UH, WHAT DO I DO?

125
00:05:45,587 --> 00:05:48,004
YOU WAKE HER UP, PHIL.

126
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,907
OKAY, I SEE HOW THIS IS.

127
00:05:50,942 --> 00:05:53,651
WELL,
IT'S A BRIGHT SUNSHINY DAY.

128
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,745
<i> TIME TO WAKE UP</i>
<i> AND HAVE SOME FRENCH TOAST</i>

129
00:05:55,780 --> 00:05:59,391
AND GET TO THE OL' FISH JOB.

130
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:01,217
DEAD.

131
00:06:01,252 --> 00:06:03,345
WELL, HE TRIED.

132
00:06:03,380 --> 00:06:07,299
YES, I TRIED REALLY HARD.

133
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:10,376
WELL, I GUESS I ALWAYS KNEW,
"FISH STORE PHIL."

134
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:13,096
CHELSEA DID NOT SURVIVE RILEY.

135
00:06:13,131 --> 00:06:15,106
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HER NOW?

136
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:16,666
OH, SHE'LL GO IN THE POTTY.
THE POTTY?!

137
00:06:16,701 --> 00:06:18,851
UH, WHOOP WHOOP,
"DA PARTY!"

138
00:06:18,887 --> 00:06:20,411
( both giggling )

139
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:22,830
OKAY, WE'LL GO THAT WAY.

140
00:06:22,866 --> 00:06:24,908
YOUNG LADY,
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE

141
00:06:24,943 --> 00:06:27,719
TO WATCH
YOUR GOLDFISH LOVED ONE

142
00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:31,131
SWIM TO THAT GREAT FISHBOWL
IN THE SKY?

143
00:06:31,166 --> 00:06:33,474
I WOULD LIKE THAT VERY MUCH,
"FISH STORE PHIL," YES.

144
00:06:33,509 --> 00:06:35,301
HOW DOES SHE GET THERE?

145
00:06:35,336 --> 00:06:37,578
WELL, THE 4:15 EXPRESS
IS LEAVING RIGHT NOW.

146
00:06:37,613 --> 00:06:39,931
GET HER ON IT!
GET HER ON IT!

147
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,074
CLOSE YOUR EYES WITH ME, RILEY.
LET'S BOW OUR HEADS.

148
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:41,850
OF COURSE.

149
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,983
<i> ( toilet flushing )</i>

150
00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:52,077
WHAT WAS THAT?

151
00:06:52,154 --> 00:06:54,204
THAT-THAT WAS THE SOUND
OF CHELSEA'S FISH SOUL

152
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:55,763
SWIMMING UP
TO FISH HEAVEN.

153
00:06:55,798 --> 00:06:57,999
BUT IT SOUNDED A LOT
LIKE A TOILET--

154
00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:01,978
WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION
THE WAYS OF FISH HEAVEN?

155
00:07:02,013 --> 00:07:05,456
DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT
POSSIBLY HAVE ANOTHER ONE

156
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:06,416
THAT LOOKS LIKE CHELSEA?

157
00:07:12,366 --> 00:07:15,783
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE YOURSELF
A LITTLE LOOKY-SEE

158
00:07:15,818 --> 00:07:18,311
AND MAYBE YOU'LL LOCATE
ANOTHER UNIQUE

159
00:07:18,346 --> 00:07:20,638
AND ONE-OF-A-KIND
ORANGE ONE.

160
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,166
THIS ONE.

161
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,067
( softly )
IT'S A MIRACLE.

162
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,397
CHELSEA IS REPLACED.

163
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:49,059
SO ENDS
THE LONG, GLORIOUS REIGN
OF CHELSEA THE FIRST,

164
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,252
LONG LIVE CHELSEA II!

165
00:07:53,615 --> 00:07:56,558
( French accent )
NOBODY <i> MIFF.</i>

166
00:07:56,593 --> 00:07:58,476
MIFF?
NO, DON'T <i> MIFF.</i>

167
00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,495
DON'T MIFF?

168
00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:02,180
TOO LATE.
YOU <i> MIFFED.</i>

169
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,927
THE REASON YOU HAVE ALL
BEEN SUMMONED HERE TODAY

170
00:08:07,962 --> 00:08:10,012
IS THAT CHELSEA THE FIRST

171
00:08:10,047 --> 00:08:13,191
IS DEAD,

172
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:14,951
<i> WHICH MEANS</i>

173
00:08:14,986 --> 00:08:18,939
THAT ONE
OF THE PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM IS--

174
00:08:18,974 --> 00:08:20,823
( French accent )
A <i> MUH-DEH-HER.</i>

175
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,719
I'M GOING TO TALK
TO FARKLE FIRST.

176
00:08:32,754 --> 00:08:35,713
WHY?
'CAUSE YOU THINK I'LL CRACK?

177
00:08:35,748 --> 00:08:37,140
WELL, I'M NOT THE ONE
WHO'S GOING TO CRACK, PALLY BOY.

178
00:08:37,175 --> 00:08:39,551
IT'S GOING TO TAKE A LOT BETTER
THAN YOU TO CRACK ME.

179
00:08:43,197 --> 00:08:45,139
( both crunching crackers )

180
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:51,195
OKAY, UM,

181
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:53,189
I JUST NEED THE SOUND
OF GRAHAM-CRACKER CRUNCHING
TO STOP.

182
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:58,036
IT'S JUST THAT PARTICULAR SOUND

183
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,105
THAT REALLY BOTHERS ME.

184
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,073
I NEED IT TO STOP, PLEASE.

185
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:05,610
LOOK, I DON'T EVEN KNOW
IF YOU KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT,

186
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:06,911
BUT I NEED IT TO STOP.
I REALLY DO.

187
00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:10,248
( sighs )
THANK YOU.

188
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,937
I CAN'T TAKE IT!

189
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,705
I CONFESS!

190
00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:19,115
WHAT?

191
00:09:19,151 --> 00:09:20,216
I KILLED CHELSEA.

192
00:09:26,408 --> 00:09:28,850
THESE DON'T TASTE AS GOOD
WHEN YOU'RE A <i> MUH-DEH-HER.</i>

193
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:39,444
I'M NOT WORTHY OF THIS STICKER.
I'M NOT WORTHY.

194
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:45,250
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT YOU KILLED MY FISH, FARKLE.

195
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,243
NO, NOT YOUR FISH--
MY FISH.

196
00:09:47,278 --> 00:09:50,472
YOU WEREN'T THE ONLY ONE
WHO HAD TO REPLACE CHELSEA.

197
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:51,589
I REPLACED HER TOO.

198
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,599
WHAT? WHEN?!

199
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:55,518
IN THE MIDDLE
OF MY WEEK.

200
00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:57,453
EVERYTHING WENT SO WELL
ON MONDAY AND TUESDAY.

201
00:09:57,489 --> 00:09:58,838
ON WEDNESDAY, I DECIDED
TO GIVE HER A BATH.

202
00:09:58,873 --> 00:10:00,598
WHAT?!

203
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:03,518
ON THURSDAY--
WAIT WAIT, GO BACK.

204
00:10:03,553 --> 00:10:05,687
I TOOK CHELSEA
TO THE BIRDBATH.

205
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:08,205
SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE
WAS HAVING SUCH A GREAT TIME.

206
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,066
I DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING
WHEN THE FIRST BIRD SAT
ON THE TELEPHONE WIRE.

207
00:10:10,101 --> 00:10:13,470
BEFORE YOU KNEW IT,
I COULDN'T SEE THE SKY ANYMORE.

208
00:10:13,505 --> 00:10:15,438
DID YOU KNOW
GOLDFISH CAN SCREAM?

209
00:10:15,474 --> 00:10:17,640
THEY CAN'T.
THEN IT WAS ME!

210
00:10:17,675 --> 00:10:19,484
I SCREAM LIKE A GOLDFISH.

211
00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:24,722
ANYWAY, ALL THE BIRDS
SWOOPED DOWN AT THE SAME TIME

212
00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:26,449
IN A FASCINATING
MIGRATORY PATTERN.

213
00:10:26,484 --> 00:10:28,443
IT WAS LIKE
A NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC SPECIAL.

214
00:10:28,478 --> 00:10:30,344
<i> I CAUGHT A LITTLE</i>
<i> ON MY PHONE.</i>

215
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:33,848
<i> ( birds squawking ) </i>
<i> </i> <i> ( Farkle screaming )</i>

216
00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:36,867
AND SURPRISINGLY,
AS SMART AS I AM,

217
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,744
YOU WOULD THINK
I'D HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON

218
00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:40,479
NOT TO PUT THE NEXT CHELSEA
IN A BIRDBATH.

219
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,431
THIS ONE I PUT
IN MY CAT'S WATER DISH.

220
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:46,185
YOU DIDN'T?!

221
00:10:46,221 --> 00:10:47,587
Farkle ( on phone ):
<i> No, Fluffy, new Chelsea's</i>
<i> taking a bath!</i>

222
00:10:47,622 --> 00:10:49,255
<i> ( cat meowing )</i>

223
00:10:49,290 --> 00:10:50,999
ANYHOO,

224
00:10:51,034 --> 00:10:53,418
I REPLACED MY NEW CHELSEA
WITH ANOTHER CHELSEA

225
00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:55,561
AND CAME RIGHT TO SCHOOL.
SO AS YOU CAN SEE,

226
00:10:55,596 --> 00:10:57,596
I HAD NOTHING TO DO
WITH THE DEATH OF YOUR CHELSEA.

227
00:10:57,632 --> 00:11:00,683
SO THE CURRENT CHELSEA
ISN'T CHELSEA #2 AT ALL.

228
00:11:00,718 --> 00:11:03,177
SHE'S CHELSEA #4.

229
00:11:03,213 --> 00:11:05,113
( groans )
FIVE.

230
00:11:05,148 --> 00:11:07,006
HOW?

231
00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,908
I WAS TOO ASHAMED TO TELL YOU

232
00:11:08,943 --> 00:11:11,653
ABOUT OUR TRIP
TO THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.

233
00:11:11,688 --> 00:11:13,488
I TOOK HER ALL THE WAY UP

234
00:11:13,523 --> 00:11:15,222
AND SAT HER ON THE LEDGE.

235
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,125
AND THEN I SAID,
"LEAN BACK A LITTLE."

236
00:11:19,670 --> 00:11:22,388
AND SHE LISTENED TO ME.

237
00:11:22,424 --> 00:11:24,173
( wailing )

238
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,504
SO THIS IS THE HOT SEAT, HUH?

239
00:11:29,539 --> 00:11:31,923
IT IS WHEN YOU'RE IN IT,
BIG BOY.

240
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,308
AVA!
LUCAS.

241
00:11:33,343 --> 00:11:34,775
ME?

242
00:11:34,810 --> 00:11:36,636
OKAY, LUCAS, SPILL IT.

243
00:11:36,671 --> 00:11:37,654
SPILL WHAT?
THE BEANS.

244
00:11:37,689 --> 00:11:40,181
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
IT'S WHAT OWL DETECTIVE SAYS.

245
00:11:40,216 --> 00:11:41,607
THANK YOU, RILEY.

246
00:11:41,643 --> 00:11:43,268
YOU'RE WELCOME, I'M SURE.

247
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:45,519
SO WHAT ABOUT THOSE BEANS?

248
00:11:45,555 --> 00:11:47,888
I DON'T HAVE ANY BEANS.
THEN SING LIKE A CANARY.

249
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:49,690
I DON'T SING SO GOOD.
THEN LET THE CAT
OUT OF THE BAG.

250
00:11:49,726 --> 00:11:51,242
I'M MORE OF A DOG PERSON.
AW, ME TOO.

251
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,271
JUST TELL THEM WHAT HAPPENED.

252
00:11:55,306 --> 00:11:56,330
I'M SURE YOU HAVE NOTHING
TO HIDE.

253
00:11:58,401 --> 00:12:00,209
DO YOU?

254
00:12:00,244 --> 00:12:03,654
LET ME TAKE YOU BACK
TO THE WEEK OF THE 15th.

255
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,807
I DON'T WANT TO GO.
YOU TOOK CHELSEA OUT
OF THE CLASSROOM.

256
00:12:05,842 --> 00:12:06,783
I TOOK HER STRAIGHT HOME.
NO STOPS?

257
00:12:06,818 --> 00:12:09,401
I WOULDN'T CALL IT A STOP.
SO WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT?

258
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:10,419
I'D CALL IT A PAUSE.
SO YOU PAUSED.

259
00:12:10,454 --> 00:12:12,981
OKAY, I STOPPED.

260
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,716
WE HAD A BASEBALL GAME
AGAINST EINSTEIN ACADEMY.

261
00:12:14,751 --> 00:12:15,650
TIGGLEMAN WAS ON THE MOUND.

262
00:12:15,685 --> 00:12:17,643
CURVE-BALL TIGGLEMAN?

263
00:12:17,678 --> 00:12:19,595
BEST IN THE LEAGUE
AND NO ONE CAN HIT IT.

264
00:12:19,630 --> 00:12:21,564
EXCEPT YOU.
EXCEPT ME.

265
00:12:21,599 --> 00:12:23,508
AND HE KNOWS THAT,
BUT HE IS PROUD, SEE?

266
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:26,152
SO I SAYS-I SAYS,
"TIG, PLEASE.

267
00:12:26,187 --> 00:12:28,154
I PUT CHELSEA
IN THE BLEACHERS 'CAUSE
IT'S NICE AND SHADY OVER THERE,

268
00:12:28,189 --> 00:12:29,713
SO LAY OFF
THE CURVE BECAUSE
YOU KNOW WHERE IT'S GOING."

269
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,191
THE BLEACHERS.
YEAH, THE BLEACHERS.

270
00:12:31,226 --> 00:12:32,475
GUESS WHAT PITCH
THE JERK THROWS.

271
00:12:32,510 --> 00:12:34,194
THE CURVE.
THE CURVE.

272
00:12:34,229 --> 00:12:35,978
SO WHERE'D YOU HIT THE BALL,
LUCAS?

273
00:12:36,014 --> 00:12:38,506
IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE.

274
00:12:38,541 --> 00:12:40,867
IMPOSSIBLE, I TELLS YA.

275
00:12:40,902 --> 00:12:42,551
CHELSEA CAUGHT
MY HOME-RUN BALL...

276
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:45,429
IN THE HEAD.

277
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:48,174
THE SOUND OF HER FISHBOWL
SHATTERING HAS HAUNTED ME
EVER SINCE.

278
00:12:48,209 --> 00:12:50,927
YEAH, I WAS AT THE GAME.
I CAUGHT IT ALL ON MY PHONE!

279
00:12:53,223 --> 00:12:54,255
<i> ( bat hitting ball ) </i>
<i> </i> Farkle: <i> Oh, no, run!</i>

280
00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:56,641
<i> Chelsea, run! </i>

281
00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:59,343
Lucas: <i> Chelsea!</i>
<i> </i> <i> ( glass shattering )</i>

282
00:12:59,378 --> 00:13:01,488
Announcer:
<i> Oh, you absolutely hate</i>
<i> to see this, folks.</i>

283
00:13:01,564 --> 00:13:03,406
<i> You're swimming around,</i>
<i> enjoying a great game</i>

284
00:13:03,441 --> 00:13:05,265
<i> and then boom! Dead!</i>

285
00:13:05,301 --> 00:13:07,143
<i> Meanwhile, Lucas Friar</i>
<i> crosses home plate</i>

286
00:13:07,178 --> 00:13:08,477
<i> and Quincy wins!</i>

287
00:13:08,512 --> 00:13:11,155
YOU RAN THE BASES?

288
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:14,425
I HAD TO. OTHERWISE
SHE DIED FOR NOTHING.

289
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,110
BUT I HAD NOTHING
TO DO WITH WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR CHELSEA, RILEY.

290
00:13:16,145 --> 00:13:18,279
I PROMISE.
YOU MEAN CHELSEA #6.

291
00:13:18,314 --> 00:13:19,797
SEVEN.

292
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:22,083
I HAD A DOUBLE HEADER.

293
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,807
YOU'LL NEVER BREAK ME, AUGGIE.

294
00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:31,559
OH, YOU'LL BLINK FIRST.

295
00:13:31,594 --> 00:13:32,568
WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE?

296
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:33,803
I'M AN OWL.

297
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,617
ALL RIGHT,
I WENT THROUGH SEVEN FISH.
WHAT?!

298
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,653
RILEY, THEY'RE GOLDFISH.
WE'RE KIDS.

299
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:43,287
KIDS ARE THE NATURAL ENEMY
OF GOLDFISH

300
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,688
AND THE NATURAL MEAL TICKET
OF "FISH STORE PHIL"

301
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:45,856
WHO MAKES A FORTUNE
OFF OF US.

302
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:47,424
HOW CAN HE MAKE A FORTUNE,
MAYA?

303
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,268
THEY COST $1 EACH.

304
00:13:49,304 --> 00:13:51,345
HE SELLS THEM TO EVERY KID
IN EVERY SCHOOL

305
00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:53,723
IN EVERY CLASS
IN THE TRISTATE AREA.

306
00:13:53,758 --> 00:13:56,584
YOU DO THE MATH,
'CAUSE YOU KNOW ME AND MATH.

307
00:13:56,619 --> 00:13:59,637
WOW, PHIL THE FISH GUY,

308
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:03,874
CLEANING UP ON THE HEARTBREAK
OF THE CLASS MASCOT BUSINESS.

309
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:06,444
RILEY, I HATE
TO BREAK IT TO YOU,

310
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:09,063
BUT CHELSEA HASN'T SURVIVED
ANY OF US.

311
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,990
EVERY KID IN THE CLASS
REPLACED HER.

312
00:14:11,025 --> 00:14:13,484
I AM NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

313
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,646
I KNOW MY CLASSMATES

314
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,957
AND THEY ARE A LOVING
AND CARING GROUP OF CHILDREN,

315
00:14:19,992 --> 00:14:24,061
WHO PLACE VALUE
ON THE SPARK OF LIFE

316
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:26,772
EVEN IN THE SMALLEST
OF LIVING CREATURES.

317
00:14:28,676 --> 00:14:30,568
OKAY.

318
00:14:37,051 --> 00:14:39,201
ALL RIGHT, HOW MANY OF YOU
KNOCKED OFF A FISH?

319
00:14:41,698 --> 00:14:42,914
HOW MANY FISH
YOU ALL KNOCKED OFF?

320
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,125
<i> ET TU,  </i> YOGI?

321
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:48,878
NO, HE HAD THREE.

322
00:14:50,673 --> 00:14:52,215
GO ON, GET OUT OF HERE.

323
00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:54,967
I CAN'T EVEN LOOK
AT YOU GUYS ANYMORE.
JUST GET OUT OF HERE!

324
00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:00,765
CHELSEA 105,

325
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,850
ON BEHALF OF
ALL OF MY FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS,

326
00:15:02,885 --> 00:15:04,977
I AM SO SORRY.

327
00:15:05,013 --> 00:15:07,004
YOU AND YOUR LITTLE
FISH FRIENDS

328
00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:10,641
ALL DESERVE TO BE SAFE
IN YOUR GOLDFISH BOWLS.

329
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:13,669
I WISH THERE WAS A WAY
YOU GUYS COULD ALL TAKE CARE
OF EACH OTHER SOMEHOW.

330
00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:15,237
BUT YOU'RE ONLY STUCK WITH US.

331
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:19,016
I AM SORRY.

332
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:20,993
OKAY, YOU'RE ALL FREE TO GO.

333
00:15:24,915 --> 00:15:29,043
DON'T NOBODY LEAVE TOWN.

334
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,706
WHAT ABOUT MY CHELSEA, AUGGIE?

335
00:15:33,741 --> 00:15:35,975
HER KILLER
STILL WALKS AMONG US.

336
00:15:36,010 --> 00:15:39,387
I JUST DON'T KNOW HOOOO!

337
00:15:44,602 --> 00:15:47,436
HI, CHELSEA.

338
00:15:47,472 --> 00:15:49,938
ARE YOU HUNGRY?
RILEY'S RIGHT.

339
00:15:49,974 --> 00:15:53,676
WE NEED TO
TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU.

340
00:15:53,711 --> 00:15:55,611
AUGGIE, STOP.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

341
00:15:55,647 --> 00:15:58,547
I'M FEEDING CHELSEA 105.

342
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,533
YOU CAN'T FEED A FISH
GRAHAM CRACKERS.

343
00:16:00,568 --> 00:16:02,218
( all gasping )

344
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:03,619
YOU CAN'T?

345
00:16:03,654 --> 00:16:05,671
NO!

346
00:16:05,706 --> 00:16:08,207
WELL, THIS SEEMS LIKE
THE REAL PROBLEM.

347
00:16:17,952 --> 00:16:21,328
OH, NO.

348
00:16:21,364 --> 00:16:25,182
I-I-I-I-I-DUNNIT!

349
00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:39,671
AW, HONEY, DON'T BE SAD.
YOU SOLVED THE CASE!

350
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:42,175
I FED CHELSEA GRAHAM CRACKERS.

351
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,326
MAYBE THAT WASN'T IT.

352
00:16:43,361 --> 00:16:45,328
OH, IT WAS IT!

353
00:16:45,363 --> 00:16:47,788
AVA!

354
00:16:47,823 --> 00:16:50,107
SHE'S RIGHT.
GRAHAM CRACKERS EXPAND IN WATER.

355
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:52,043
FARKLE!
HE'S RIGHT.

356
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:54,253
SO THE CRUMBS
EXPANDED INSIDE HER.
LUCAS!

357
00:16:54,289 --> 00:16:55,946
HE'S RIGHT.
MAYA!

358
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,757
( exploding sound )

359
00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:03,054
I 'SPLODED CHELSEA 104.

360
00:17:03,089 --> 00:17:05,389
I FEEL BAD FOR WHAT I DONE.
WILL I EVER FEEL BETTER?

361
00:17:10,672 --> 00:17:13,697
NO, YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
PUT HER NEAR ME.

362
00:17:13,732 --> 00:17:15,674
WHY NOT? SHE'S YOURS.

363
00:17:15,710 --> 00:17:16,609
SHE IS?

364
00:17:19,564 --> 00:17:22,390
YEAH, YOU TAKE THIS ONE.

365
00:17:22,425 --> 00:17:25,668
I'M GOING TO
PAY PHIL THE FISH GUY
ONE MORE LITTLE VISIT.

366
00:17:25,703 --> 00:17:27,611
BUT I MADE A MISTAKE.

367
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:30,589
BUT I KNOW YOU, AUGGIE.
YOU WON'T DO IT AGAIN.

368
00:17:30,624 --> 00:17:32,307
IT IS NO MYSTERY TO ME

369
00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:34,210
THAT YOU'LL
TAKE VERY GOOD CARE OF HER.

370
00:17:37,198 --> 00:17:40,466
MY SISTER IS SOME DAME,
AIN'T SHE?

371
00:17:40,501 --> 00:17:42,542
SHE KNOWS JUST HOW
TO PICK UP THE SPIRITS

372
00:17:42,578 --> 00:17:44,178
OF A HEARTBROKEN
LITTLE DETECTIVE LIKE ME.

373
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:55,747
THIS WRAPS UP THE CASE
OF THE FISH WHO ATE
THE GRAHAM CRACKER.

374
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,983
NOW THAT I HEARD
THE NAME OF THE CASE,

375
00:17:58,018 --> 00:17:59,777
I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
WHAT HAPPENED.

376
00:18:10,848 --> 00:18:13,566
HOW YA DOIN', PHIL?

377
00:18:13,601 --> 00:18:17,011
WELL, MY MY MY.
WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

378
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:20,547
ALL MY FAVORITE CUSTOMERS
HERE AT THE SAME TIME.

379
00:18:20,582 --> 00:18:23,242
OOH, EXCUSE ME A MINUTE
WHILE I CONSIDER

380
00:18:23,277 --> 00:18:25,686
WHICH CHATEAU IN FRANCE
I'LL BE STAYING AT THIS SUMMER.

381
00:18:25,721 --> 00:18:30,257
ONE GOLDFISH FOR
OUR WHOLE CLASS, PLEASE.

382
00:18:30,293 --> 00:18:33,060
LOOKS LIKE
YOU FINALLY MET YOUR MATCH
ON THIS ONE, PHIL.

383
00:18:33,095 --> 00:18:35,087
HMM!

384
00:18:35,122 --> 00:18:37,523
Y'ALL GONNA KEEP THIS ONE ALIVE,
HUH, BIRDBATH?

385
00:18:37,558 --> 00:18:39,391
( laughs )
WHAT YOU LAUGHIN' AT, SLUGGER?

386
00:18:39,426 --> 00:18:40,526
NOTHING.

387
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,438
WE'LL TAKE THIS ONE.

388
00:18:44,473 --> 00:18:46,123
OKAY.

389
00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:49,827
HOW LONG ARE GOLDFISH
SUPPOSED TO LIVE?

390
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:53,406
WELL, WITH PROPER CARE,
THEY CAN GO 15, 20 YEARS.

391
00:18:53,441 --> 00:18:55,340
THEN THAT'S
WHEN WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT.

392
00:18:55,376 --> 00:18:56,292
RIGHT, GUYS?

393
00:18:58,288 --> 00:18:59,961
I HOPE SO, KID.
I'LL MISS YOU.

394
00:18:59,997 --> 00:19:02,098
YOU WILL?
YEAH.

395
00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:04,792
YOU'RE SINCERE, YOU'RE HONEST.
YOU CHANGED ME TODAY.

396
00:19:04,827 --> 00:19:06,669
REALLY?

397
00:19:06,704 --> 00:19:09,614
YEAH.
THAT'LL BE $17,000.

398
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:12,224
PHIL.
OKAY.

399
00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:16,578
THIS ONE'S ON ME.

400
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,606
THANK YOU, "FISH STORE PHIL."

401
00:19:33,831 --> 00:19:38,684
OKAY, DAD,
SO WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE
OF THIS HORRIBLE LESSON?

402
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:41,219
THERE WAS NO LESSON.

403
00:19:41,255 --> 00:19:44,348
OH, COME ON, MATTHEWS.
THERE'S ALWAYS A LESSON
WITH YOU.

404
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:45,682
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
PUT THESE GOLDFISH
IN OUR HANDS FOR NO REASON.

405
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:47,385
SORRY, GUYS.

406
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,244
NO LESSON HERE,

407
00:19:49,279 --> 00:19:51,180
EXCEPT WHATEVER
YOU CAME UP WITH.

408
00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:57,110
THIS GOLDFISH IS GOING
TO LIVE 15 YEARS.

409
00:19:57,146 --> 00:19:59,137
WHY IS THAT?

410
00:19:59,173 --> 00:20:01,924
BECAUSE THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE
THAT MUCH LIFE IN HER.

411
00:20:01,959 --> 00:20:04,693
AND EVERYTHING ALIVE
DESERVES TO BE--

412
00:20:04,729 --> 00:20:05,402
CARED FOR THE RIGHT WAY.

413
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:09,598
VERY GOOD.

414
00:20:09,634 --> 00:20:11,433
OH, BY THE WAY...

415
00:20:11,469 --> 00:20:14,177
All:
I KNEW IT!

416
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:17,414
PERMISSION SLIPS
FOR THE CLASS RETREAT.

417
00:20:17,449 --> 00:20:20,025
WE'RE GOING TO
THE BERKSHIRE MOUNTAINS
THIS YEAR.

418
00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:22,953
I WANT YOU TO ALL
WATCH OUT FOR EACH OTHER.

419
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,706
LET'S BRING EVERYBODY HOME
SAFE AND SOUND.

420
00:20:25,741 --> 00:20:27,049
YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT?

421
00:20:33,749 --> 00:20:36,058
YEAH, I THINK YOU CAN TOO.

422
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,320
( sighs )

423
00:20:56,355 --> 00:21:00,107
CHELSEA, CHELSEA, CHELSEA,

424
00:21:00,143 --> 00:21:02,984
CHELSEA, CHELSEA,

425
00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:06,029
CHELSEA, CHELSEA,

426
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:08,907
CHELSEA, CHELSEA,

427
00:21:08,943 --> 00:21:11,618
CHELSEA, CHELSEA,

428
00:21:11,654 --> 00:21:18,066
CHELSEA, CHELSEA.