1
00:00:00,051 --> 00:00:01,885
♪ Love ♪

2
00:00:01,919 --> 00:00:03,586
♪ Connection ♪

3
00:00:03,621 --> 00:00:05,722
♪ Experience ♪

4
00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:07,357
Yeah, Morty.

5
00:00:07,391 --> 00:00:09,659
♪ Come together ♪

6
00:00:09,693 --> 00:00:12,896
♪ With love, connection,
and experience ♪

7
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,964
- It's my favorite song.
- Oh, yeah.

8
00:00:14,999 --> 00:00:18,401
Oh, yeah, distress beacon!

9
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:19,736
Yeah, baby!

10
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,004
You're excited about that?

11
00:00:21,038 --> 00:00:22,639
The first rule of
space travel, kids,

12
00:00:22,673 --> 00:00:24,240
is always check out
distress beacons.

13
00:00:24,275 --> 00:00:26,576
9 out of 10 times,
it's a ship full of dead aliens

14
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,244
and a bunch of free shit!

15
00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:28,854
Whoa!

16
00:00:28,879 --> 00:00:30,580
1 out of 10 times,
it's a deadly trap,

17
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,849
but I'm ready to
roll those dice.

18
00:00:32,883 --> 00:00:36,085
♪ ♪

19
00:00:40,157 --> 00:00:42,559
Seems like something terrible
happened here.

20
00:00:42,593 --> 00:00:43,793
Yep. Cha-ching.

21
00:00:43,827 --> 00:00:47,463
Oh, yeah, if you find a room full
of eggs, don't shy away from it.

22
00:00:47,498 --> 00:00:48,932
Give one of them a shake.

23
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:50,933
Those facehuggers are worth
more than this ship.

24
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:51,821
Uh, what's that?

25
00:00:51,846 --> 00:00:54,237
This'll make the cops write it up
as a looting by the korblocks.

26
00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:57,607
- That's horrible.
- I hear you, man. Cops are racist.

27
00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:00,610
Oh, hey. You're alive.
Thank god.

28
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:01,945
Can you help us?

29
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,914
Our planet was taken over by
some kind of... entity.

30
00:01:04,949 --> 00:01:06,716
It absorbed the minds
of our people.

31
00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:08,585
We didn't notice until
it was too late.

32
00:01:08,619 --> 00:01:11,187
The people it takes over,
they look like your friends,

33
00:01:11,222 --> 00:01:15,491
your family, your leaders,
but they're not themselves anymore.

34
00:01:15,526 --> 00:01:17,794
They're part of... it.

35
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,963
Then how do you know it didn't
get on the ship with you?

36
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:22,498
Those two dingdongs seem pretty
calm about the whole thing.

37
00:01:23,867 --> 00:01:25,935
Hey, no! No, wait! Stop!

38
00:01:27,638 --> 00:01:28,605
Called it.

39
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,342
Hello, Rick.

40
00:01:32,376 --> 00:01:33,810
Long time no see.

41
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:34,677
Unity?

42
00:01:34,712 --> 00:01:35,678
- Rick?
- Grandpa?

43
00:01:35,713 --> 00:01:37,080
Oh, boy. Uh...

44
00:01:37,114 --> 00:01:39,082
These are my grandkids,
Summer and Morty.

45
00:01:39,116 --> 00:01:40,950
Summer, Morty, this is, uh,
Unity.

46
00:01:40,985 --> 00:01:44,821
We sort of used to, uh... date.

47
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:48,057
♪ ♪

48
00:01:48,081 --> 00:01:54,181
Sync and corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com

49
00:02:34,677 --> 00:02:36,945
Quite an operation you got
going here, Une.

50
00:02:36,979 --> 00:02:38,513
You're a whole planet now, huh?

51
00:02:38,548 --> 00:02:41,616
After we broke up, I spent some
time wandering through space.

52
00:02:41,651 --> 00:02:44,085
- Then I found this world...
- ...Where I was better able

53
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,221
to focus on my passion for
unification.

54
00:02:46,255 --> 00:02:49,324
- You mean stealing people's bodies?
- Summer, rude.

55
00:02:49,358 --> 00:02:51,826
Why don't you two kids go run
off and play with Unity

56
00:02:51,861 --> 00:02:53,562
while Unity and I do some
catching up.

57
00:02:53,596 --> 00:02:55,197
- Ugh.
- No, wait, Rick,

58
00:02:55,231 --> 00:02:57,432
aren't these people gonna barf
into our mouths and absorb us?

59
00:02:57,466 --> 00:03:00,502
You're guests here on my planet.
You're free to be yourselves.

60
00:03:00,536 --> 00:03:02,837
I've never been any good at
disappointing Rick.

61
00:03:02,872 --> 00:03:04,239
Well, now I'm going to barf.

62
00:03:04,273 --> 00:03:06,107
Come on, Morty.

63
00:03:09,278 --> 00:03:11,813
Jerry, what are you what are
you doing in here?

64
00:03:11,847 --> 00:03:14,683
I'm trying to find our weed
whacker,

65
00:03:14,717 --> 00:03:16,918
'cause our weeds are wack, yo.

66
00:03:16,953 --> 00:03:19,379
But you can't go in the
garage when Rick's not here.

67
00:03:19,404 --> 00:03:21,206
- I "can't"?
- Well, he doesn't like it.

68
00:03:21,232 --> 00:03:24,426
What's he gonna do? Crash rent-free
at his other family's house?

69
00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:25,961
What is that supposed to mean?

70
00:03:25,995 --> 00:03:29,497
Your dad gets to walk all over us
because of your abandonment issues.

71
00:03:29,532 --> 00:03:31,433
He's playing you, shorty.

72
00:03:31,467 --> 00:03:33,802
Oh, stop affecting that stupid
hip-hop dialect.

73
00:03:33,836 --> 00:03:36,271
Stop shifting the cross hairs
to my ironic urban patois

74
00:03:36,305 --> 00:03:38,873
just because your relationship
with your father

75
00:03:38,908 --> 00:03:40,508
is to' up from the flo' up.

76
00:03:42,678 --> 00:03:43,778
What the hell was that?

77
00:03:43,813 --> 00:03:45,280
I don't know.
Let's just leave.

78
00:03:48,117 --> 00:03:49,117
That is a hatch.

79
00:03:49,151 --> 00:03:51,519
Your father put a
hatch in my garage.

80
00:03:51,554 --> 00:03:52,988
You don't know it was him.

81
00:03:53,022 --> 00:03:54,789
Anyway, we're not
supposed to be in here.

82
00:03:54,824 --> 00:03:58,193
Obviously, neither is
whatever's gurgling down there.

83
00:04:01,964 --> 00:04:04,366
"World peace achieved."
Nice.

84
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,168
Little weird to publish a paper
about it for yourself, but hey.

85
00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:08,336
So, what's next?

86
00:04:08,371 --> 00:04:10,272
After I become a type-one
civilization,

87
00:04:10,306 --> 00:04:13,575
this world will be invited
into the galactic federation.

88
00:04:13,609 --> 00:04:14,709
Oh, goody.

89
00:04:14,744 --> 00:04:17,979
From there, I'll have access to
countless planets and species.

90
00:04:18,014 --> 00:04:21,116
One by one, I will unify them,
I will become the universe,

91
00:04:21,150 --> 00:04:24,386
and I will be what the
single-minded once called the God.

92
00:04:24,420 --> 00:04:25,787
I like that.

93
00:04:25,821 --> 00:04:27,289
Oh, that's pretty sexy.

94
00:04:27,323 --> 00:04:29,257
Hey, listen, where can we get
a drink around here?

95
00:04:29,292 --> 00:04:31,493
Recreational substances were
phased out here.

96
00:04:31,527 --> 00:04:35,063
There's no need for escape from
the self when your world is one.

97
00:04:35,097 --> 00:04:36,564
Unity, Unity,
who am I talking to?

98
00:04:36,599 --> 00:04:38,767
I watched you assimilate a
whole police station

99
00:04:38,801 --> 00:04:41,002
just to get your hands on the
evidence locker.

100
00:04:41,037 --> 00:04:43,471
Rick, when we met,
I was a young hive mind

101
00:04:43,506 --> 00:04:45,640
with the population
of a small town.

102
00:04:45,675 --> 00:04:47,609
People change...

103
00:04:47,643 --> 00:04:48,943
Especially when I change them.

104
00:04:48,978 --> 00:04:51,946
I'm sorry to disappoint you,
but I've grown.

105
00:04:51,981 --> 00:04:54,049
Hey, listen, I've grown, too.

106
00:04:54,083 --> 00:04:55,383
I have!

107
00:04:55,418 --> 00:04:57,452
See, I've I've reconnected
with my family, right?

108
00:04:57,486 --> 00:04:58,987
Hm. Why's that, I wonder?

109
00:04:59,021 --> 00:05:00,722
Maybe it's part of getting old.

110
00:05:00,756 --> 00:05:04,626
Maybe I just missed being with
a collective.

111
00:05:06,162 --> 00:05:07,662
Yes, Rick. Yes.

112
00:05:07,697 --> 00:05:09,297
Oh, yeah.
Yes. Yes.

113
00:05:09,332 --> 00:05:11,399
Wait, wait. Stop.
Hold it.

114
00:05:11,434 --> 00:05:12,500
Not like this.

115
00:05:12,535 --> 00:05:15,337
We need a hang glider and a
crotchless uncle Sam costume,

116
00:05:15,371 --> 00:05:17,539
and I want the entire field of
your largest stadium

117
00:05:17,573 --> 00:05:19,474
covered end to end
with naked redheads,

118
00:05:19,508 --> 00:05:20,842
and I want the stands packed

119
00:05:20,876 --> 00:05:23,478
with every man that remotely
resembles my father.

120
00:05:29,251 --> 00:05:31,319
Man, look at them go.
So coordinated.

121
00:05:31,354 --> 00:05:33,088
What's your problem?

122
00:05:33,122 --> 00:05:35,590
They're making you into a
Mount Rushmore.

123
00:05:35,624 --> 00:05:36,624
They made burgers!

124
00:05:36,659 --> 00:05:39,294
Morty, open your eyes.
There is no "they".

125
00:05:39,328 --> 00:05:41,796
These poor people's
bodies are being used.

126
00:05:41,831 --> 00:05:42,897
They're a planet of puppets.

127
00:05:42,932 --> 00:05:44,466
- I can hear you.
- Ugh.

128
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:46,701
Well, it seems like everybody
here's cool with it.

129
00:05:46,736 --> 00:05:48,169
Except for all those redheads.

130
00:05:48,204 --> 00:05:51,239
They seem like they're in a
hurry to be somewhere else.

131
00:05:51,273 --> 00:05:53,308
Balloon, Summer?
Balloon, Morty?

132
00:05:53,342 --> 00:05:55,343
No, we don't want your
dumb balloons, okay?

133
00:05:55,378 --> 00:05:56,945
We're bored.
Take us back to Rick.

134
00:05:56,979 --> 00:05:58,446
Now's not a good time.

135
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,826
Oh, yeah!

136
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:04,696
I want yooooooou!

137
00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:05,997
Go, son, go!

138
00:06:06,031 --> 00:06:09,067
Go, son, go!
Go, son, go!

139
00:06:09,101 --> 00:06:12,804
Oh, real nice.
Real nice.

140
00:06:12,838 --> 00:06:14,839
How does a man do this
without me noticing?

141
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,208
Oh, you know my dad once he
puts his mind to something.

142
00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:18,910
You're spinning
this to his credit?

143
00:06:20,679 --> 00:06:22,080
I'm going down there.

144
00:06:22,114 --> 00:06:24,015
- Jerry--
- Beth, this is my house,

145
00:06:24,049 --> 00:06:26,184
which makes this my garage,
my secret hatch,

146
00:06:26,218 --> 00:06:29,153
my hidden subterranean lair,
and my faceless gargler.

147
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,022
Now, are you gonna
keep hating this playa

148
00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:32,690
or are you gonna
jack my steez?

149
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,726
Okay, you're just
making stuff up now.

150
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,761
Ugh. Oh, my god.

151
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:38,062
Oh, my god.

152
00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:39,798
Ugh!

153
00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:42,000
Oh, Rick.
That was so bad.

154
00:06:42,034 --> 00:06:43,835
What's this "was" stuff?

155
00:06:43,869 --> 00:06:45,470
I just need to hydrate,

156
00:06:45,504 --> 00:06:47,372
then we're doing that again.

157
00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:49,674
- Oh, damn.
- Listen, if this is an invasion,

158
00:06:49,708 --> 00:06:51,075
I got to sit this one out,

159
00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:53,077
but I'll be back to have sex
with the survivors.

160
00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:55,647
It's a neighboring hive-mind
species, beta seven.

161
00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:57,715
Our planets maintain a
practical alliance

162
00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:01,753
for exchange of vital resources,
so be nice.

163
00:07:01,787 --> 00:07:05,156
Unity, is it a bad time?

164
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:09,194
Are all present life forms
assimilated?

165
00:07:09,228 --> 00:07:13,331
Beta seven, this is my single-minded
friend from Earth, Rick.

166
00:07:13,365 --> 00:07:15,834
Rick Sanchez.

167
00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:17,035
Unity has spoken of you.

168
00:07:17,069 --> 00:07:18,837
All bad, I hope.
Ha ha!

169
00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:20,238
Bleeeeeeeeeh!

170
00:07:20,272 --> 00:07:21,506
Oh, Jesus Christ.

171
00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:24,209
Beta seven, if my allies
are a problem for you,

172
00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:26,110
perhaps our alliance is,
as well.

173
00:07:26,145 --> 00:07:27,712
Our alliance is beneficial.

174
00:07:27,746 --> 00:07:31,616
When beta seven expresses concern,
it's only because--

175
00:07:31,650 --> 00:07:34,185
Oh, snap!
Powdered neutronium?

176
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,520
Amphetetron?

177
00:07:35,554 --> 00:07:37,021
You know I can make
with this stuff?

178
00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:39,257
Oh, Rick, I-- I shouldn't.

179
00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:41,192
Come on.
It's not every day that I'm town.

180
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:43,094
It's for old time's sake.

181
00:07:43,128 --> 00:07:45,530
Uh...
Okay, what the hell.

182
00:07:45,564 --> 00:07:48,333
We can purify the resin and
make fractal dust.

183
00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:50,835
Oh, I was thinking
velocitinis, but--

184
00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:53,938
Aw, old man Rick can't party
with a whole planet?

185
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:59,143
I can do whatever you do and
more, baby.

186
00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:03,114
You know, I think
beta seven over there

187
00:08:03,148 --> 00:08:05,650
is hoping your alliance can be
more than practical.

188
00:08:05,684 --> 00:08:07,185
Stop.

189
00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:15,293
Well, this explains
the $6,000 electric bill.

190
00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:17,929
Whoa!

191
00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:23,301
Well, nice.
Real nice.

192
00:08:23,335 --> 00:08:24,903
Alien prisoners
under the house.

193
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,704
Real nice.

194
00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:29,374
Nice. Reeeeeeeeeeeeeal--

195
00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:30,708
God damn it, stop.

196
00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:33,478
Wake up, people!
You have to fight it!

197
00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:36,381
You're under the spell of an
evil monster!

198
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:39,317
- I can hear you.
- Yeah, so you keep saying.

199
00:08:40,719 --> 00:08:42,287
- Summer!
- Wake up!

200
00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:44,622
You have to have some
individuality left in there!

201
00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:46,558
Why do you hate me, Summer?

202
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:47,992
I'm not talking you.

203
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:50,662
I'm talking to...
Steven Phillips.

204
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,097
Steven, set yourself free.

205
00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:55,567
Summer, before I took over
this planet,

206
00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:58,002
this man was a registered sex
offender.

207
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,705
Yeah? Well, so what?
At least he was himself.

208
00:09:00,739 --> 00:09:03,908
This woman was a drug addict
on the verge of suicide.

209
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,677
Now she's a marine biologist.

210
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,745
Listen, Unity, I don't think
my sister's trying to say

211
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,213
that life would be perfect
without you.

212
00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:12,250
I think she's just saying that
life would be, you know, life.

213
00:09:12,284 --> 00:09:15,119
I have transformed life here
into a paradise.

214
00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:17,121
Prostitutes are now scientists.

215
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:19,357
The homeless are now
"phisosophers".

216
00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:21,159
Oh. Oh. "Ph-phisosophers"?
Nice.

217
00:09:21,193 --> 00:09:23,294
- Philopol... phiphophopher...
- Oh, my god.

218
00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:25,463
Where did you learn to talk,
you grandpa-stealing slut?

219
00:09:25,497 --> 00:09:27,765
I'm feeling...

220
00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:30,835
Ugh.

221
00:09:30,869 --> 00:09:32,804
Oh, man, let me help all of
you guys up.

222
00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:34,806
I'm fine.

223
00:09:38,510 --> 00:09:40,845
Do you know what I
love about you, Rick?

224
00:09:40,879 --> 00:09:42,847
You're the only
single mind I've met

225
00:09:42,881 --> 00:09:44,716
that really sees
the big picture.

226
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:45,950
You got that right.

227
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:47,518
But, baby, listen

228
00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:50,021
y-you're talking about taking
over planets and galaxies.

229
00:09:50,055 --> 00:09:53,024
You got to just remember to
let go sometimes, you know?

230
00:09:53,058 --> 00:09:54,125
I can let go.
Hey, look.

231
00:09:54,159 --> 00:09:55,760
You see that town
across the river?

232
00:09:55,794 --> 00:09:57,562
Watch this.

233
00:09:57,596 --> 00:09:59,497
- Whoa!
- Ha ha! Whoo!

234
00:09:59,531 --> 00:10:00,932
Whoa!
That's not what I meant!

235
00:10:00,966 --> 00:10:03,501
It's okay.
It's okay.

236
00:10:03,535 --> 00:10:06,471
I evacuated.
I evacuated the town. Look.

237
00:10:06,505 --> 00:10:09,440
Hey! We're right here.
We're fine.

238
00:10:13,445 --> 00:10:16,614
Oh, that was awesome.

239
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:19,250
My my grandkids weren't in
that town, right?

240
00:10:19,284 --> 00:10:21,185
A-are my grandkids alive?

241
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,388
M-my drink is empty.

242
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:31,763
♪ ♪

243
00:10:39,838 --> 00:10:42,774
- Unity, what's happening?
- Who's Unity?

244
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:45,576
You kids have nice feet.
Mind if I take a picture?

245
00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:48,279
Gross. No.

246
00:10:48,313 --> 00:10:50,448
I think you're getting
what you wanted, Summer.

247
00:10:50,482 --> 00:10:52,517
Something's happening to Unity.

248
00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:55,453
Do all of you
remember who you are?

249
00:10:55,487 --> 00:10:57,655
Yeah, uh, my name
is Ron Benson.

250
00:10:57,690 --> 00:11:00,858
I'm an electrical engineer,
father of two,

251
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:04,595
and, as you can see from my flat,
concentric nipple rings,

252
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:07,231
I'm a member of this
planet's top race!

253
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:08,866
Okay, that's good.

254
00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:11,502
Uh, don't focus too much on
the last part, but--

255
00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:13,905
I'm Daryl Jefferson.
I'm a landscaper.

256
00:11:13,939 --> 00:11:15,306
And I'll be damned if

257
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:17,709
that ripple-nipple bitch's
race is superior!

258
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:20,178
The cone-nipple people will
rule this world!

259
00:11:20,212 --> 00:11:22,714
You shut your mouth, you dirty
knife-nipple bastards.

260
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:25,883
What'd you say to me,
you target-chest piece of [bleep]?

261
00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:28,152
Race war!

262
00:11:34,259 --> 00:11:35,727
Ugh!

263
00:11:38,497 --> 00:11:39,530
Why are you fighting?!

264
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,299
Can't you see you're all the same?

265
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,367
Oh, Summer.

266
00:11:43,402 --> 00:11:45,403
First race war, huh?

267
00:11:49,146 --> 00:11:51,814
Way to go, Summer.
You started a race war.

268
00:11:51,849 --> 00:11:54,350
I didn't start it!
They're the racists.

269
00:11:54,384 --> 00:11:57,920
I merely empowered them to follow
their apparently misguided dreams.

270
00:11:57,955 --> 00:11:59,322
Okay, thanks for clarifying.

271
00:11:59,356 --> 00:12:01,324
I'll have a super-accurate
headstone now.

272
00:12:01,358 --> 00:12:02,759
Hey, wait what
race are you guys?

273
00:12:02,793 --> 00:12:03,960
We're neither.
S-see?

274
00:12:03,994 --> 00:12:05,428
Yeah, take my word for it.

275
00:12:05,462 --> 00:12:07,230
We just have regular nipples.

276
00:12:07,264 --> 00:12:09,866
Hey, these two
freaks have no race!

277
00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:11,100
♪ ♪

278
00:12:15,906 --> 00:12:17,373
Oh, there's no place like home.

279
00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:19,175
There's no place like home.
Remember, Summer?

280
00:12:19,209 --> 00:12:21,277
- From Dorothy and the tiny people movie?
- Yes, yes.

281
00:12:21,311 --> 00:12:24,180
- All the tiny people.
- Dorothy, take us away.

282
00:12:24,214 --> 00:12:27,416
♪ ♪

283
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:33,055
Hello, Summer.
Hello, Morty.

284
00:12:33,090 --> 00:12:35,558
- It's okay. You're safe now.
- Unity?

285
00:12:35,592 --> 00:12:37,994
- Yes.
- Oh, Unity, I am so sorry.

286
00:12:38,028 --> 00:12:41,831
I didn't know freedom meant
people doing stuff that sucks.

287
00:12:41,865 --> 00:12:43,099
I was thinking more of

288
00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:45,067
a choose your own
cellphone-carrier thing.

289
00:12:45,102 --> 00:12:46,602
Oh, Summer, you did
nothing wrong.

290
00:12:46,637 --> 00:12:48,304
I'm having fun with your
grandpa.

291
00:12:48,338 --> 00:12:49,572
Lost a little control.

292
00:12:49,606 --> 00:12:51,874
Probably shouldn't be piloting
a hovercopter,

293
00:12:51,909 --> 00:12:54,777
nor should I be running
200,000 pediatric hospitals

294
00:12:54,812 --> 00:12:56,212
and 12 million deep fryers,

295
00:12:56,246 --> 00:12:59,081
but hey, it's not like this planet
can take its business elsewhere.

296
00:12:59,116 --> 00:13:02,518
Um, should we maybe stop
somewhere and get you a coffee?

297
00:13:02,553 --> 00:13:04,620
Maybe splash a little water on
your face, or...

298
00:13:04,655 --> 00:13:08,357
No, no, if I wanted to be sober,
I wouldn't have gotten drunk.

299
00:13:08,392 --> 00:13:11,327
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

300
00:13:13,430 --> 00:13:14,964
Oh, man.
I cannot wait--

301
00:13:14,998 --> 00:13:18,201
I cannot wait to hear Rick
explain his way around this.

302
00:13:18,235 --> 00:13:19,468
He is gone.

303
00:13:19,503 --> 00:13:20,770
Jerry, stop, please, okay?

304
00:13:20,804 --> 00:13:22,471
We weren't even supposed
to be down here.

305
00:13:22,506 --> 00:13:23,873
If we confront him about this--

306
00:13:23,907 --> 00:13:25,241
Oh, my god!
I love this.

307
00:13:25,275 --> 00:13:27,743
I love that this is how far
you will go for him.

308
00:13:27,778 --> 00:13:30,146
You want to go upstairs
and cut carrots

309
00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:34,050
and watch a Lifetime original
above a [bleep] alien dungeon!

310
00:13:34,084 --> 00:13:37,253
Your relationship with your
father is psychotic.

311
00:13:37,287 --> 00:13:38,721
Oh, listen to you
relish the idea

312
00:13:38,755 --> 00:13:40,756
that my genius father
is a bad person.

313
00:13:40,791 --> 00:13:42,358
Step out of your
ego for a second

314
00:13:42,392 --> 00:13:44,393
and look at this thing;
it's a monster.

315
00:13:44,428 --> 00:13:47,163
He might have it chained up
so that it doesn't eat the planet!

316
00:13:47,197 --> 00:13:49,465
Right, because your father's
such an altruist?

317
00:13:49,499 --> 00:13:52,935
I once saw him briefly forget
the word for "humans".

318
00:13:52,970 --> 00:13:55,338
He's probably harvesting this
creature's organs.

319
00:13:55,372 --> 00:13:57,440
He's probably racing to cure
its space AIDS.

320
00:13:57,474 --> 00:13:59,234
- He's going to eat it!
- He's protecting it!

321
00:13:59,843 --> 00:14:01,444
- Shut up!
- Shut up!

322
00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:04,981
Whoa!

323
00:14:05,015 --> 00:14:06,649
Unity, this place is a mess.

324
00:14:06,683 --> 00:14:07,783
Oh, it's cool.

325
00:14:07,818 --> 00:14:10,186
The part of me that's the cleaning
lady is coming on Friday.

326
00:14:10,220 --> 00:14:12,021
Oh, my god.
I have a meeting

327
00:14:12,055 --> 00:14:13,956
at the Galactic Federation
in an hour.

328
00:14:13,991 --> 00:14:16,492
Oh, I'll never make it.
Ah, I'll push it to next week.

329
00:14:16,526 --> 00:14:18,494
Unity, could you get
Rick out here, please?

330
00:14:18,528 --> 00:14:20,129
He's unavailable.
He's...

331
00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:22,098
Having sex with you.
We get it. Gross.

332
00:14:22,132 --> 00:14:23,232
Get him out here now.

333
00:14:23,267 --> 00:14:24,400
I don't think he wants to be--

334
00:14:24,434 --> 00:14:26,535
- Grandpa Rick!
- Rick! Rick!

335
00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:28,304
I'm gonna tell mom and dad
about the gagoo

336
00:14:28,338 --> 00:14:29,805
you have locked up
under the garage!

337
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,341
What the hell is your problem?

338
00:14:32,376 --> 00:14:34,510
Grandpa, we need
to go home, now.

339
00:14:34,544 --> 00:14:36,345
Fine. Sheesh.

340
00:14:39,082 --> 00:14:40,349
See you.

341
00:14:40,384 --> 00:14:42,051
Uh, Rick, I think
we should allgo.

342
00:14:42,085 --> 00:14:44,387
Tend to your garden, kids.
I'm kind of doing a thing here.

343
00:14:44,421 --> 00:14:46,622
Whoo!

344
00:14:46,657 --> 00:14:48,591
Grandpa Rick, we're not
leaving without you.

345
00:14:48,625 --> 00:14:50,559
Oh, my god, you guys.
I get it.

346
00:14:50,594 --> 00:14:52,728
You're afraid the big,
bad hive mind

347
00:14:52,763 --> 00:14:54,764
is gonna steal
your grandpa away.

348
00:14:54,798 --> 00:14:55,412
Actually, no.

349
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:58,234
I think Unity's great and you're
a horrible influence on it.

350
00:14:58,268 --> 00:14:59,902
- What?
- This isn't healthy, Rick.

351
00:14:59,937 --> 00:15:02,571
You know, you're really
up to no good

352
00:15:02,606 --> 00:15:04,707
around here a-at this place,
you know?

353
00:15:04,741 --> 00:15:07,677
You and Unity are like...
like leggings and mid-calf boots.

354
00:15:07,711 --> 00:15:09,078
You think you're great together,

355
00:15:09,112 --> 00:15:11,714
but you're just bringing out
the worst in each other.

356
00:15:11,748 --> 00:15:14,283
Oh, gee.
Boy, Summer. Well put.

357
00:15:14,318 --> 00:15:16,252
Uh, why don't we see
what Unity thinks?

358
00:15:16,286 --> 00:15:17,553
Unity?

359
00:15:17,587 --> 00:15:19,355
I'm just taking a little break
from stuff.

360
00:15:19,389 --> 00:15:21,324
You know?
I need to relax.

361
00:15:21,358 --> 00:15:23,526
Oh, hey, w-what's this on the
news, guys?

362
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:24,860
Let me turn it up.

363
00:15:24,895 --> 00:15:27,830
In the news today,
this looks a lot worse than it is.

364
00:15:27,864 --> 00:15:29,498
We're really just having a
good time.

365
00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:30,866
- Karen?
- Thanks, Todd.

366
00:15:30,901 --> 00:15:34,503
Up next, are you a concerned
grandchild or just a buzzkill?

367
00:15:34,538 --> 00:15:36,405
We'll tell you how you can
know for sure.

368
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:38,441
I think you two are a little
outnumbered.

369
00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:40,576
Okay, well, what if
you did it for me?

370
00:15:40,610 --> 00:15:44,680
What if you came with us as a
favor to us because you love us?

371
00:15:44,715 --> 00:15:46,349
What?
Dumb. Bye.

372
00:15:46,383 --> 00:15:47,750
But Rick, Summer's just---

373
00:15:47,784 --> 00:15:49,552
Summer's just a
hyper-emotional, needy little--

374
00:15:49,586 --> 00:15:51,120
What's the word I'm
looking for here?

375
00:15:51,154 --> 00:15:52,555
Uh... Human.

376
00:15:52,589 --> 00:15:53,656
It runs in the family.

377
00:15:53,690 --> 00:15:56,225
I can tolerate it,
but I can't give a crap about it.

378
00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:57,660
Take a hike.

379
00:15:57,694 --> 00:16:00,930
Take care of yourself, Unity.

380
00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:06,168
I'm not looking for judgment,
just a yes or no...

381
00:16:06,203 --> 00:16:08,104
can you assimilate a giraffe?

382
00:16:08,138 --> 00:16:09,703
- You're the worst!
- No, you're the worst!

383
00:16:09,728 --> 00:16:12,241
You don't support this family!
All you care about is yourself!

384
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:14,243
- Is about supporting you emotionally...
- You've got two children...

385
00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:16,445
- ...but you're unsupportable.
- ...Being dragged across the cosmos...

386
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,647
- ...because it's never enough, Jerry!
- ...By your dangerously ill father!

387
00:16:18,682 --> 00:16:21,017
And you force me to watch it happen because
you'd rather lose them and lose me...

388
00:16:21,051 --> 00:16:23,486
And you don't even know what it's like to be
afraid of losing anything ...Than lose him!

389
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,088
- Because you cling and you cling
- Because you're the child, Beth!

390
00:16:26,123 --> 00:16:29,291
You, not me! You!

391
00:16:29,326 --> 00:16:30,760
- Aah!
- Aah!

392
00:16:30,794 --> 00:16:32,328
- Oh, my god.
- Aah!

393
00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:39,902
Um, first of all, hello.

394
00:16:39,936 --> 00:16:42,138
Uh, my name is Blim Blam the
Korblok.

395
00:16:42,172 --> 00:16:43,806
Second of all, cards
on the table,

396
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,674
I'm a murderer that eats babies,

397
00:16:45,709 --> 00:16:48,144
and I came to this planet to
eat babies.

398
00:16:48,178 --> 00:16:52,214
However, I am also carrying a
highly infectious disease

399
00:16:52,249 --> 00:16:56,585
that I suppose you could call
"space AIDS" as you put it.

400
00:16:56,620 --> 00:16:59,889
And Rick did chain me up so that
he could attempt to cure it.

401
00:16:59,923 --> 00:17:01,891
At the same time,

402
00:17:01,925 --> 00:17:03,926
Rick's motivation
to cure my disease

403
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,028
was not to save my life or
anyone else's,

404
00:17:06,063 --> 00:17:09,298
but to patent and sell the cure
for billions of blemflarcks.

405
00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:12,868
But you know the reason why I
ripped my chains out of the wall?

406
00:17:12,903 --> 00:17:15,738
And do you know why I'm never
coming back to this planet?

407
00:17:15,772 --> 00:17:19,742
Because the two of you
are the [bleep] worst!

408
00:17:19,776 --> 00:17:22,311
You both hate yourselves
and each other.

409
00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:26,315
And the idea that it has anything
to do with Rick is laughable.

410
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:28,584
I'd laugh,
but I'm biologically incapable.

411
00:17:28,618 --> 00:17:30,219
That's how alien I am.

412
00:17:30,253 --> 00:17:32,855
And even I'm sitting here
listening to the two of you

413
00:17:32,889 --> 00:17:35,758
and being like,
"What the [beep]"?

414
00:17:35,792 --> 00:17:37,927
So good luck with
your shitty marriage,

415
00:17:37,961 --> 00:17:41,297
and tell Rick I'm sorry he has
to deal with either of you.

416
00:17:41,331 --> 00:17:43,732
Blim Blam out.

417
00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:50,039
You know what?
I'm taking this.

418
00:17:54,554 --> 00:17:57,256
How do you--
What is this?

419
00:17:59,559 --> 00:18:02,361
Uh, is there a slow setting?

420
00:18:02,396 --> 00:18:05,598
Best door ever.

421
00:18:12,773 --> 00:18:15,942
Okay, okay. Now make them cry,
but happy crying.

422
00:18:15,976 --> 00:18:18,110
Now make them all make fun of
the blonde one.

423
00:18:18,145 --> 00:18:19,645
Now make them all
do it on the table.

424
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,081
I can't believe you created a
whole show for me.

425
00:18:22,115 --> 00:18:23,549
Now cancel it.

426
00:18:23,583 --> 00:18:24,817
Okay, now put it back on.

427
00:18:25,986 --> 00:18:27,253
All right, I'm bored.

428
00:18:27,287 --> 00:18:30,289
Rick, is there a way for you
to call Summer and Morty?

429
00:18:30,324 --> 00:18:32,925
- I feel bad that they--
- Pbht. Screw those guys.

430
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,227
Ugh. I'll be right back.

431
00:18:35,262 --> 00:18:37,296
Don't waste your brain on
those weirdos, Unity.

432
00:18:37,331 --> 00:18:39,865
They're no different from any of the
aimless chumps that you occupy.

433
00:18:39,899 --> 00:18:42,601
They just put you at the center of
their lives because you're powerful.

434
00:18:42,636 --> 00:18:44,170
And then because
they put you there,

435
00:18:44,204 --> 00:18:45,571
they want you to
be less powerful.

436
00:18:45,605 --> 00:18:46,806
Never gonna happen though,
right?

437
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:47,974
Never.

438
00:18:48,008 --> 00:18:50,076
Never.
Back in a flash.

439
00:18:55,082 --> 00:18:56,949
Best weekend ever, Rick.

440
00:18:56,984 --> 00:19:00,419
I agree, Rick. Let's see how
long we can go.

441
00:19:00,454 --> 00:19:03,489
Hey, Une.
You got any more--

442
00:19:05,792 --> 00:19:08,027
Rick, forgive
me for doing this in notes.

443
00:19:08,061 --> 00:19:10,296
I'm not strong enough to do it
in persons.

444
00:19:10,330 --> 00:19:13,632
I realize now
that I'm attracted to you

445
00:19:13,667 --> 00:19:16,135
for the same reason I
can't be with you.

446
00:19:16,169 --> 00:19:17,603
You can't change.

447
00:19:17,637 --> 00:19:19,939
And I have no problem
with that,

448
00:19:19,973 --> 00:19:22,808
but it clearly means I have a
problem with myself.

449
00:19:22,843 --> 00:19:25,011
I'm sure there's
no perfect version of me.

450
00:19:25,045 --> 00:19:28,180
I'm sure I'll just unify
species after species

451
00:19:28,215 --> 00:19:29,882
and never really be complete.

452
00:19:29,916 --> 00:19:32,718
But I know
how it goes with us.

453
00:19:32,753 --> 00:19:35,121
I lose who I am and become
part of you.

454
00:19:35,155 --> 00:19:36,722
Because in a strange way,

455
00:19:36,757 --> 00:19:39,258
you're better at what I do
without even trying.

456
00:19:39,292 --> 00:19:44,730
Yours, and nobody else's, Unity.

457
00:19:44,765 --> 00:19:47,666
P.S., I don't know where those
coal miners were

458
00:19:47,701 --> 00:19:48,734
before they were assimilated.

459
00:19:48,769 --> 00:19:50,469
You might want to get checked.

460
00:19:53,774 --> 00:19:55,908
Hey.

461
00:19:55,942 --> 00:19:57,309
Dad.

462
00:19:58,378 --> 00:20:01,847
I, um Jerry and I

463
00:20:01,882 --> 00:20:04,450
were looking for
our weed whacker

464
00:20:04,484 --> 00:20:07,219
and found your subterranean lair

465
00:20:07,254 --> 00:20:11,590
and your alien prisoner,
and he got away.

466
00:20:11,625 --> 00:20:13,092
And I know I sound like mom,

467
00:20:13,126 --> 00:20:14,927
but I can't sacrifice this
whole family's safety

468
00:20:14,961 --> 00:20:16,862
just because I'm afraid you'll
leave again,

469
00:20:16,897 --> 00:20:18,731
so no more alien prisoners

470
00:20:18,765 --> 00:20:23,235
and no more subterranean
excavation without consulting us.

471
00:20:23,270 --> 00:20:25,171
- Okay.
- Okay?

472
00:20:25,205 --> 00:20:28,274
"Okay" like you're gonna
quietly teleport somewhere

473
00:20:28,308 --> 00:20:30,709
- and never come back?
- No. It's your house.

474
00:20:30,744 --> 00:20:34,046
Grandpa Rick, what happened
with Unity?

475
00:20:34,081 --> 00:20:36,582
Who? Oh, Unity.
Yeah, well...

476
00:20:36,616 --> 00:20:38,417
I mean, honestly, we're
talking about an entity

477
00:20:38,452 --> 00:20:39,885
that thrives on enslavement,
you know?

478
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,154
It's not cool.
Fun's fun, but who needs it?

479
00:20:42,189 --> 00:20:43,456
I'll be in the garage.

480
00:20:56,903 --> 00:20:58,804
♪ Lay it, lay it down ♪

481
00:20:58,839 --> 00:21:00,706
♪ Let me see your hand ♪

482
00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:03,909
♪ Show me what you got ♪

483
00:21:03,944 --> 00:21:05,711
♪ You're always talking ♪

484
00:21:05,745 --> 00:21:07,379
♪ But you're not playing ♪

485
00:21:07,414 --> 00:21:10,716
♪ It doesn't match your face ♪

486
00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:14,587
♪ Get them away,
away from this place ♪

487
00:21:14,621 --> 00:21:17,957
♪ Can you take me now? ♪

488
00:21:17,991 --> 00:21:19,825
♪ I, I want it ♪

489
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:21,260
♪ I want it real ♪

490
00:21:21,294 --> 00:21:24,363
♪ Are you afraid of me now? ♪

491
00:21:24,397 --> 00:21:26,265
♪

492
00:21:26,299 --> 00:21:29,235
♪ Are you afraid of me now? ♪

493
00:21:29,269 --> 00:21:31,003
♪ Do you feel it? ♪

494
00:21:31,037 --> 00:21:32,438
♪ Do you feel it? ♪

495
00:21:32,472 --> 00:21:36,308
♪ Do you feel that I can see
your soul? ♪

496
00:21:36,343 --> 00:21:38,010
♪ Do you feel it? ♪

497
00:21:38,044 --> 00:21:39,678
♪ Do you feel it? ♪

498
00:21:39,713 --> 00:21:42,248
♪ Do you feel the pain in
your heart? ♪

499
00:21:42,282 --> 00:21:43,983
♪ I, I want it ♪

500
00:21:44,017 --> 00:21:45,451
♪ I want it real ♪

501
00:21:45,485 --> 00:21:48,354
♪ Run away with me now ♪

502
00:21:49,289 --> 00:21:50,656
♪ I, I want it ♪

503
00:21:50,690 --> 00:21:52,892
♪ I want it real ♪

504
00:21:52,926 --> 00:21:54,927
♪ Run away with me now ♪

505
00:21:54,961 --> 00:21:57,463
♪ Ah, ah ♪

506
00:21:58,765 --> 00:22:01,967
♪ ♪

507
00:22:10,310 --> 00:22:12,178
♪ Don't leave me ♪

508
00:22:13,313 --> 00:22:16,649
♪ Never leave me out ♪

509
00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:19,185
♪ Don't leave me ♪

510
00:22:20,053 --> 00:22:25,124
♪ Never leave me out ♪

511
00:22:29,729 --> 00:22:32,364
Unity! Unity!

512
00:22:32,399 --> 00:22:34,600
Unity!

513
00:22:34,634 --> 00:22:35,498
How can I assist you?

514
00:22:35,523 --> 00:22:37,636
I want to talk to
Unity, beta seven.

515
00:22:37,671 --> 00:22:38,837
I know it's in there.

516
00:22:38,872 --> 00:22:40,539
You're classified as
a hostile entity,

517
00:22:40,574 --> 00:22:42,274
and Unity doesn't
want to talk to you.

518
00:22:42,309 --> 00:22:43,642
I know your game, beta seven.

519
00:22:43,677 --> 00:22:45,110
I've met a billion of you,

520
00:22:45,145 --> 00:22:46,979
you little on-deck, in-the-wings
shoulder to cry on!

521
00:22:47,013 --> 00:22:50,049
You are classified
as a hostile entity.

522
00:22:50,083 --> 00:22:51,650
Oh, you're just loving this,
mother--

523
00:22:51,685 --> 00:22:53,525
This isn't gonna shake out
like you think, pal.

524
00:22:53,553 --> 00:22:54,920
Unity's not into
other hive minds.

525
00:22:54,955 --> 00:22:56,589
It's gonna suck you
in and use you up,

526
00:22:56,623 --> 00:22:57,856
and a month from now,

527
00:22:57,891 --> 00:22:59,992
I'm gonna be making out with all
of you in a bunch of red wigs!

528
00:23:00,026 --> 00:23:02,361
Unity! Unity!

529
00:23:02,395 --> 00:23:04,730
Unity, I know you can hear me.
Get out here.

530
00:23:04,764 --> 00:23:05,998
Weapons systems engaged.

531
00:23:06,032 --> 00:23:07,700
Oh, in your dreams you have
weapon systems.

532
00:23:07,734 --> 00:23:10,402
Ugh, Rick, you said we were
going to a movie.

533
00:23:10,437 --> 00:23:11,337
We are, Morty.

534
00:23:11,371 --> 00:23:12,972
All right, beta shit seven,

535
00:23:13,006 --> 00:23:15,140
you just got saved by the
bell, bitch!

536
00:23:16,610 --> 00:23:18,110
Did you get any of that?

537
00:23:18,144 --> 00:23:20,112
It's-a good show-a.

538
00:23:20,136 --> 00:23:23,136
Sync and corrections by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com