1
00:00:00,118 --> 00:00:01,388
You're Alexa now.

2
00:00:01,508 --> 00:00:03,495
I guess I should get this changed.

3
00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:05,685
Alexa, is he hassling you?

4
00:00:05,805 --> 00:00:07,828
Because if he is, tell me. Let me help.

5
00:00:07,948 --> 00:00:09,177
When I was a teenager,

6
00:00:09,225 --> 00:00:10,698
I was involved in a bank robbery.

7
00:00:10,713 --> 00:00:12,299
Holy shit.

8
00:00:12,322 --> 00:00:13,843
All right, he's going to come after us.

9
00:00:13,901 --> 00:00:15,655
Parole officers are public record.

10
00:00:15,689 --> 00:00:16,906
You son of a bitch.

11
00:00:22,084 --> 00:00:23,649
The local police should be
here in about ten minutes.

12
00:00:23,659 --> 00:00:25,084
You got two choices.

13
00:00:25,924 --> 00:00:26,639
Wait here,

14
00:00:27,072 --> 00:00:28,034
go back to prison,

15
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,506
or take off now and see
if you can outrun them.

16
00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:34,740
Maybe there's a third choice.

17
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:36,927
Yeah?

18
00:00:37,970 --> 00:00:38,817
What's that?

19
00:00:52,477 --> 00:00:53,311
Oh, God.

20
00:00:55,449 --> 00:00:56,404
Oh, God!

21
00:00:57,823 --> 00:00:59,503
Hey, you all right in there?

22
00:01:02,753 --> 00:01:03,638
Yeah.

23
00:01:07,251 --> 00:01:07,959
Heard a noise.

24
00:01:08,079 --> 00:01:09,906
I had to whack a giant cockroach.

25
00:01:10,567 --> 00:01:11,456
Should get a refund.

26
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:13,264
And I should have this
rotten tooth removed,

27
00:01:13,878 --> 00:01:15,208
but what are you gonna do?

28
00:01:16,415 --> 00:01:17,563
Okay, what should I do?

29
00:01:17,683 --> 00:01:20,018
Call the cops? No. They'd ask who I was.

30
00:01:20,083 --> 00:01:22,423
Just leave? No. Black Tooth saw me.

31
00:01:22,835 --> 00:01:24,535
I had to get rid of the body.

32
00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:22,242
Hey, Alexa.

33
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,588
Yeah. It went great.

34
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:27,842
He totally bought the
whole parole-officer bluff.

35
00:02:28,367 --> 00:02:30,740
Yeah, I don't think we're
ever gonna see him again.

36
00:02:43,936 --> 00:02:45,895
Pastor!

37
00:02:48,359 --> 00:02:49,658
Alden?

38
00:02:50,021 --> 00:02:51,845
What brings you to this

39
00:02:51,887 --> 00:02:53,518
remote wilderness lake?

40
00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:54,634
Well, bass.

41
00:02:54,669 --> 00:02:56,470
Uh, Shepherd Lake's known for it.

42
00:02:56,922 --> 00:02:58,827
What is going on down there?

43
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,405
Baptism!

44
00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,437
I'm doing a Baptism!

45
00:03:06,945 --> 00:03:08,622
May this sinner be cleansed

46
00:03:08,633 --> 00:03:11,493
in the healing waters of Christ!

47
00:03:14,685 --> 00:03:15,999
Alden, do you mind?

48
00:03:16,412 --> 00:03:18,178
It's a private ceremony.

49
00:03:20,407 --> 00:03:21,792
Praise Jesus!

50
00:03:21,878 --> 00:03:24,217
Well, congratulations, sir.

51
00:03:24,225 --> 00:03:26,965
Welcome to the kingdom of the Lord!

52
00:03:31,007 --> 00:03:32,514
May God save your soul...

53
00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:44,615
And my ass.

54
00:03:46,556 --> 00:03:50,428
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

55
00:03:52,016 --> 00:03:54,536
It'd been a week since I
dumped Kenny into Shepherd Lake,

56
00:03:54,574 --> 00:03:56,654
and so far, it looked
like he was staying there.

57
00:03:56,774 --> 00:03:59,180
So I could finally relax again

58
00:03:59,455 --> 00:04:02,063
and enjoy the pleasures of small-town life.

59
00:04:04,248 --> 00:04:05,850
Buddy! Hi!

60
00:04:05,873 --> 00:04:08,003
These are my parents, Susie and Roger.

61
00:04:08,038 --> 00:04:10,333
Mom, Dad, this is Pastor Jonathan Barlow.

62
00:04:10,391 --> 00:04:11,465
- How you doing?
- Hey!

63
00:04:11,527 --> 00:04:13,753
We've heard so much
about you on our Skypes.

64
00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:14,549
Yeah.

65
00:04:14,669 --> 00:04:17,056
Our Russy is your number-one fan.

66
00:04:17,064 --> 00:04:17,887
Mom.

67
00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:19,827
Well, I'm a big fan of your Russy

68
00:04:19,912 --> 00:04:21,550
and not just 'cause we're both gay.

69
00:04:22,725 --> 00:04:23,466
What?

70
00:04:23,529 --> 00:04:25,608
Yeah, I know, I don't
give off that vibe, but

71
00:04:25,855 --> 00:04:27,129
I like dudes...

72
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:29,083
Big-time, almost as much as this guy.

73
00:04:29,871 --> 00:04:30,876
Is that true?

74
00:04:31,741 --> 00:04:32,820
Are you gay?

75
00:04:35,216 --> 00:04:36,667
Surprise.

76
00:04:39,024 --> 00:04:39,800
Well...

77
00:04:40,622 --> 00:04:41,920
this has been something

78
00:04:42,662 --> 00:04:43,592
that happened.

79
00:04:43,682 --> 00:04:44,396
Excuse me.

80
00:04:50,807 --> 00:04:53,935
Alexa, I need to talk to you
about your book club selection...

81
00:04:53,950 --> 00:04:56,321
- The Velvet Orchid.
- Pretty juicy, huh?

82
00:04:56,355 --> 00:04:59,323
Yes, a little too juicy for my taste,

83
00:04:59,364 --> 00:05:00,996
I mean, especially that opening scene

84
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:02,913
where Olivia's involved in the act of...

85
00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:05,309
you know.

86
00:05:05,593 --> 00:05:07,908
I do, but I'd love to hear you say it.

87
00:05:08,672 --> 00:05:09,875
Pleasuring herself...

88
00:05:11,868 --> 00:05:13,105
below the waist and above the knee.

89
00:05:13,145 --> 00:05:14,849
Oh, what's the big deal?

90
00:05:15,016 --> 00:05:16,383
Everybody masturbates.

91
00:05:16,409 --> 00:05:18,945
Uh, no, everybody poops, which, by the way,

92
00:05:19,524 --> 00:05:21,511
would be a more appropriate book choice.

93
00:05:22,665 --> 00:05:23,400
Wait.

94
00:05:24,969 --> 00:05:27,620
You do pet the kitty, right?

95
00:05:30,661 --> 00:05:32,613
Oh, honey.

96
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:34,618
If you must know, I tried
it once in high school,

97
00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:36,753
- and it didn't work.
- One time? That's it?

98
00:05:36,787 --> 00:05:38,115
Yes, and then the harder I tried,

99
00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:39,883
the more frustrated I got,
and then my hand cramped,

100
00:05:39,893 --> 00:05:41,609
and the whole thing was
just very unpleasant.

101
00:05:41,659 --> 00:05:44,162
That's your problem. You need to relax.

102
00:05:44,249 --> 00:05:45,330
Take your time.

103
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:47,000
Romance yourself.

104
00:05:47,323 --> 00:05:48,739
Romance myself?

105
00:05:48,824 --> 00:05:49,538
Yeah.

106
00:05:49,785 --> 00:05:50,873
Set the mood.

107
00:05:50,993 --> 00:05:52,159
Light a candle,

108
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:53,918
and then when you are feeling

109
00:05:54,113 --> 00:05:55,579
nice and comfy,

110
00:05:56,534 --> 00:05:59,504
read page 44, and I guarantee,

111
00:05:59,624 --> 00:06:00,638
kablammo.

112
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,036
Kablammo?

113
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:03,287
Kablammo.

114
00:06:11,213 --> 00:06:13,552
Okay, in my defense,

115
00:06:13,672 --> 00:06:15,305
how could I have known they didn't know,

116
00:06:15,314 --> 00:06:16,984
and how could they not know, you know?

117
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,002
They don't know because
every time they come to town,

118
00:06:19,021 --> 00:06:20,746
I put up Kate Upton posters

119
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:22,748
and take the dent out of my throw pillows.

120
00:06:22,832 --> 00:06:24,220
I have spent years

121
00:06:24,223 --> 00:06:26,729
creating the illusion
that I am a raging hetero.

122
00:06:26,751 --> 00:06:27,843
Okay, first of all,

123
00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:29,747
heteros don't rage, and second,

124
00:06:30,099 --> 00:06:31,129
how could they not know?

125
00:06:31,471 --> 00:06:33,181
I was gonna tell them in due time,

126
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,383
but now you've blown that.

127
00:06:34,414 --> 00:06:37,108
Or did the work for you. You're welcome.

128
00:06:37,359 --> 00:06:39,190
Oh, you do not know what you have done.

129
00:06:39,206 --> 00:06:42,548
All afternoon Mom has been
passive aggressively knitting,

130
00:06:42,563 --> 00:06:45,395
and Dad has been muttering
to himself and watching golf,

131
00:06:45,596 --> 00:06:47,300
which is pretty much what they always do,

132
00:06:47,361 --> 00:06:48,524
but this time it was judgy!

133
00:06:48,644 --> 00:06:49,717
I can feel it.

134
00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:50,449
Russell,

135
00:06:50,957 --> 00:06:52,503
I'm sorry, but it's done.

136
00:06:52,588 --> 00:06:54,085
There's nothing I can do about it.

137
00:06:55,841 --> 00:06:56,987
You could come to dinner.

138
00:06:57,226 --> 00:06:58,483
How's that gonna help?

139
00:06:58,603 --> 00:07:01,613
Look, my mom is super
religious. My dad is into sports.

140
00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:03,602
You're both of those things.
You're like the perfect

141
00:07:03,637 --> 00:07:04,692
gay ambassador.

142
00:07:05,028 --> 00:07:07,446
I don't know... dinner with your family.

143
00:07:07,516 --> 00:07:10,175
Please, you are exactly what
they need to see right now...

144
00:07:10,189 --> 00:07:12,405
a respected Christian leader with

145
00:07:12,672 --> 00:07:13,951
flawless skin.

146
00:07:14,152 --> 00:07:17,259
And the bon vivance of
a Camelot-era Kennedy.

147
00:07:17,293 --> 00:07:18,410
Seriously?

148
00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:19,697
They had no idea?

149
00:07:23,507 --> 00:07:25,056
Well, now, who are those for...

150
00:07:25,176 --> 00:07:26,858
one of your birds?

151
00:07:26,872 --> 00:07:27,993
No, and,

152
00:07:28,229 --> 00:07:30,110
you know, it's really none of your beeswax.

153
00:07:30,184 --> 00:07:32,885
Now, I was just joking. I was just

154
00:07:33,155 --> 00:07:35,993
making sport of the fact that you
never seem to have a date, so...

155
00:07:35,994 --> 00:07:37,757
I do have a date... tonight,

156
00:07:37,815 --> 00:07:39,348
in fact, and I am

157
00:07:39,758 --> 00:07:40,913
very excited about it.

158
00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:42,857
Well, then good for you.

159
00:07:42,888 --> 00:07:45,481
You know, Hilva threw her
back out moving a coffin,

160
00:07:45,515 --> 00:07:47,111
so I've got to pick up the flowers

161
00:07:47,131 --> 00:07:48,607
for the Davenport funeral.

162
00:07:48,657 --> 00:07:50,728
You're welcome to bring
your date if you like.

163
00:07:50,863 --> 00:07:51,911
They're having cannolis.

164
00:07:52,031 --> 00:07:53,310
Oh, okay.

165
00:07:53,430 --> 00:07:55,365
I do like a cannoli.

166
00:08:17,948 --> 00:08:20,301
Oh, is that what you're wearing.

167
00:08:21,777 --> 00:08:23,222
I got to wear pink now?

168
00:08:23,392 --> 00:08:25,197
Dad, you look fine.

169
00:08:25,768 --> 00:08:28,260
Mom, olive pits go in
the little bowl, please.

170
00:08:32,571 --> 00:08:34,571
- Hey.
- Thank you for doing this.

171
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:35,507
Come in.

172
00:08:37,361 --> 00:08:38,169
Hi.

173
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:39,961
Sorry about before.

174
00:08:39,985 --> 00:08:41,638
No, no, us.

175
00:08:41,673 --> 00:08:42,957
Roger and I were just

176
00:08:43,363 --> 00:08:45,790
- a little caught off guard.
- A little?

177
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,339
It was a jolt in the shorts.

178
00:08:47,578 --> 00:08:49,240
Who wants wine?

179
00:08:49,799 --> 00:08:52,145
All right, here we go.

180
00:08:52,222 --> 00:08:53,590
Thank you.

181
00:08:53,806 --> 00:08:54,633
Thanks.

182
00:08:55,263 --> 00:08:57,173
Maybe we should have a toast.

183
00:08:57,175 --> 00:08:58,098
Roger?

184
00:08:58,732 --> 00:09:01,611
Well, it's not like I
prepared anything, but...

185
00:09:02,572 --> 00:09:05,185
here's to Russell and his friend.

186
00:09:05,454 --> 00:09:07,989
Oh, Roger, they're more than friends.

187
00:09:08,023 --> 00:09:10,250
They're sharing their lives together.

188
00:09:10,582 --> 00:09:12,163
To the happy couple.

189
00:09:12,387 --> 00:09:14,423
- The what?
- I told them, honey.

190
00:09:16,787 --> 00:09:18,839
Please, go with it.

191
00:09:19,778 --> 00:09:21,382
Wow, Russy.

192
00:09:21,911 --> 00:09:23,419
I thought we weren't going to use tongue

193
00:09:23,434 --> 00:09:24,571
in front of the parents?

194
00:09:31,855 --> 00:09:32,937
What the hell was that?

195
00:09:32,993 --> 00:09:34,798
In my defense, they were going on and on

196
00:09:34,822 --> 00:09:37,461
about how worried they are
that gay men are promiscuous,

197
00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:39,906
so I lied and said we are
in a monogamous relationship.

198
00:09:39,918 --> 00:09:41,301
And then jammed your tongue down my throat.

199
00:09:41,313 --> 00:09:43,214
Let's not forget that part. I know I won't.

200
00:09:43,492 --> 00:09:45,215
Aw, that's sweet.

201
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,557
Look, can't you please
just go along with this?

202
00:09:47,583 --> 00:09:49,488
It would really make up for you outing me

203
00:09:49,566 --> 00:09:50,400
in public

204
00:09:50,659 --> 00:09:51,814
against my will.

205
00:09:52,835 --> 00:09:54,647
- I don't know.
- It's only two days.

206
00:09:54,666 --> 00:09:55,992
We don't even have to do anything...

207
00:09:56,239 --> 00:09:57,444
unless you want to.

208
00:09:59,728 --> 00:10:00,435
Okay.

209
00:10:00,521 --> 00:10:02,383
"Okay" you want to? Or...

210
00:10:02,410 --> 00:10:03,991
- Don't push it.
- Okay.

211
00:10:06,866 --> 00:10:07,998
No kablammo.

212
00:10:08,323 --> 00:10:09,165
Really?

213
00:10:09,501 --> 00:10:10,923
We may have to go another way.

214
00:10:10,981 --> 00:10:12,585
Have you ever considered a vibrator.

215
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,375
Shh.

216
00:10:14,653 --> 00:10:16,361
Keep your voice down.

217
00:10:18,227 --> 00:10:20,882
There is one called The Silver Secret.

218
00:10:20,889 --> 00:10:22,180
It's perfect for you.

219
00:10:22,238 --> 00:10:23,524
It's hands-free.

220
00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:25,455
You control it with your
phone, using Bluetooth.

221
00:10:25,483 --> 00:10:27,105
They sell them at Krinsky's Drugstore.

222
00:10:27,820 --> 00:10:29,790
Well, I was thinking of swinging by there

223
00:10:29,801 --> 00:10:31,752
for some chewable vitamins, anyway.

224
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:33,684
Of course, I'll have to wait for a day

225
00:10:33,711 --> 00:10:35,844
when Janice Goggins isn't
working the register.

226
00:10:35,856 --> 00:10:37,865
Do you know that she once sold me Pepto,

227
00:10:37,883 --> 00:10:40,323
and for the next week,
the whole town called me...

228
00:10:41,478 --> 00:10:42,722
Dora-rhea?

229
00:10:42,807 --> 00:10:44,055
I remember.

230
00:10:44,356 --> 00:10:45,889
So,

231
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:48,062
Buddy, tell us...

232
00:10:48,498 --> 00:10:52,053
when was the moment you knew
our Russy was right for you?

233
00:10:54,344 --> 00:10:56,029
I remember I was in the kitchen.

234
00:10:56,207 --> 00:10:57,563
Russell was having a dinner party,

235
00:10:57,582 --> 00:10:58,726
much like this one,

236
00:10:58,757 --> 00:11:00,758
and the next thing you know,

237
00:11:00,878 --> 00:11:03,177
- we are together.
- Aw.

238
00:11:03,297 --> 00:11:05,975
I knew the moment we met...
in the church, remember?

239
00:11:05,978 --> 00:11:08,413
You were wearing a fitted, white V-neck T,

240
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,547
a black leather jacket
with a lightweight hoodie,

241
00:11:10,562 --> 00:11:13,201
and a medium-wash, cotton-blend jean

242
00:11:13,221 --> 00:11:15,172
that matched your piercing blue eyes.

243
00:11:15,794 --> 00:11:17,390
And what was Russy wearing?

244
00:11:18,372 --> 00:11:20,270
You know, clothes.

245
00:11:21,595 --> 00:11:22,994
Isn't he delightful?

246
00:11:23,017 --> 00:11:24,609
Right back at you, Russy-poo.

247
00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:27,758
You know, in addition
to being a pastor, Mom,

248
00:11:27,777 --> 00:11:30,450
Buddy is also into sports, Dad.

249
00:11:31,011 --> 00:11:32,356
A sports guy, huh?

250
00:11:32,684 --> 00:11:34,724
I don't suppose you're
into drag racing, are you?

251
00:11:34,809 --> 00:11:36,093
Don't know a thing about it...

252
00:11:36,552 --> 00:11:38,318
except that Big Daddy Jim Daniels

253
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:41,078
is defending his NHRA crown
at Judson Raceway tomorrow.

254
00:11:41,113 --> 00:11:43,443
That's what I'm talking about.

255
00:11:43,563 --> 00:11:44,613
You want to check it out?

256
00:11:44,652 --> 00:11:46,805
I'm in. How about you, Russy-poo?

257
00:11:46,890 --> 00:11:48,308
Up for a little drag race?

258
00:11:48,312 --> 00:11:49,201
I'll pass.

259
00:11:49,255 --> 00:11:51,292
Now, if it were RuPaul's Drag Race,

260
00:11:51,369 --> 00:11:53,123
then you'd be singing my song.

261
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:56,144
I can't believe I just said
that in front of my parents.

262
00:11:56,144 --> 00:11:57,636
I love being out.

263
00:11:58,811 --> 00:12:00,545
So, Roger, you want to give me a hand?

264
00:12:00,974 --> 00:12:02,307
Excuse us.

265
00:12:02,620 --> 00:12:03,447
Go ahead, hon.

266
00:12:07,856 --> 00:12:09,371
I think it's going pretty well.

267
00:12:09,653 --> 00:12:10,495
I know.

268
00:12:10,777 --> 00:12:12,867
Isn't it weird how right this feels?

269
00:12:13,339 --> 00:12:15,562
- Please take your hand off my thigh.
- Uh-huh.

270
00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:19,909
Well, this is definitely not
the weekend I was expecting.

271
00:12:20,119 --> 00:12:22,600
Well, I guess we shouldn't
be completely surprised.

272
00:12:22,646 --> 00:12:24,480
His voice mail was sung to the tune

273
00:12:24,492 --> 00:12:25,819
of Candle in the Wind.

274
00:12:27,139 --> 00:12:29,832
The main thing is he seems happy.

275
00:12:30,076 --> 00:12:31,897
He really does.

276
00:12:31,931 --> 00:12:34,237
I have a good feeling about those two.

277
00:12:34,933 --> 00:12:36,711
I guess it's time I ran a little

278
00:12:36,772 --> 00:12:38,912
background check on this Jonathan Barlow.

279
00:12:38,974 --> 00:12:40,863
Oh, Roger, is that necessary?

280
00:12:40,886 --> 00:12:42,245
Hey, if I had done a quicker check

281
00:12:42,272 --> 00:12:44,106
on that deadbeat our
Stacey was going out with,

282
00:12:44,126 --> 00:12:46,974
she wouldn't have ended up with
a broken heart and bad credit.

283
00:12:47,094 --> 00:12:48,040
Besides,

284
00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:49,860
once an FBI guy...

285
00:12:50,684 --> 00:12:52,090
always an FBI guy.

286
00:13:00,943 --> 00:13:02,720
Ah, we meet again, huh?

287
00:13:02,758 --> 00:13:03,833
Hi, Alden.

288
00:13:04,112 --> 00:13:05,367
What you got back there?

289
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:06,839
Just personal items.

290
00:13:07,388 --> 00:13:09,324
Oh, oh, got the squirts again?

291
00:13:09,514 --> 00:13:11,723
Don't you have an
injured wife to attend to?

292
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:12,913
Oh, that reminds me.

293
00:13:12,937 --> 00:13:15,711
Hilva says she may not be
able to make book club today.

294
00:13:15,742 --> 00:13:18,682
Oh, well, I hope she can come.

295
00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:20,491
I hope everybody can come

296
00:13:20,645 --> 00:13:22,268
because everybody deserves to come,

297
00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:24,023
even if it is harder for some people

298
00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:25,379
than it is for others.

299
00:13:25,858 --> 00:13:28,649
You know, try some cheese.
That'll stop you up.

300
00:13:40,703 --> 00:13:41,751
Here we go.

301
00:13:46,024 --> 00:13:47,416
Oh, my.

302
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:51,465
Oh, my...

303
00:13:56,122 --> 00:13:57,876
Hey, this isn't the way to Judson.

304
00:14:00,044 --> 00:14:01,562
You ever been to Shepherd Lake?

305
00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:03,765
Can't say I have.

306
00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,639
We're gonna make a little pit stop.

307
00:14:06,381 --> 00:14:09,468
I don't know if Russell told
you, but I'm retired FBI.

308
00:14:11,269 --> 00:14:12,231
No,

309
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:14,688
Russy-poo failed to mention that.

310
00:14:14,808 --> 00:14:17,458
Learned a few things
about you Pastor Barlow.

311
00:14:18,208 --> 00:14:19,695
You and I need to talk.

312
00:14:28,758 --> 00:14:31,761
I share this place with
a few FBI fishing buddies.

313
00:14:35,377 --> 00:14:37,293
Thing about Shepherd Lake is...

314
00:14:37,332 --> 00:14:39,415
you never know what you're going to catch.

315
00:14:40,682 --> 00:14:41,714
Is that so?

316
00:14:42,027 --> 00:14:43,468
I had to keep my cool.

317
00:14:43,588 --> 00:14:44,736
There was no way he could know

318
00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:46,323
about the dead body in the lake.

319
00:14:46,473 --> 00:14:47,254
Could he?

320
00:14:47,281 --> 00:14:48,684
Sit down.

321
00:14:49,708 --> 00:14:50,782
Not there.

322
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,356
Here.

323
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,139
Make yourself comfortable.

324
00:14:55,399 --> 00:14:56,659
Am I in trouble here,

325
00:14:57,262 --> 00:14:58,051
Dad?

326
00:14:58,447 --> 00:15:00,469
Can I... can I call you "Dad"?

327
00:15:03,714 --> 00:15:05,720
I did a little fishing this morning.

328
00:15:06,091 --> 00:15:07,176
You see, Jonathan,

329
00:15:07,744 --> 00:15:08,876
I love my son.

330
00:15:10,298 --> 00:15:12,045
And as long as you're dating him,

331
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,364
I need to make sure
that everything about you

332
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,554
is on the up-and-up.

333
00:15:15,917 --> 00:15:18,954
So this is a father-son
thing, not an FBI thing?

334
00:15:19,074 --> 00:15:20,503
I'm glad we got that settled.

335
00:15:20,514 --> 00:15:22,208
Should we hit the track? Corn dogs on me.

336
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:23,977
I did a cursory background check,

337
00:15:24,182 --> 00:15:27,416
and I have a few questions
about Jonathan Barlow.

338
00:15:28,254 --> 00:15:28,934
Well,

339
00:15:29,285 --> 00:15:31,689
who better to ask than me...

340
00:15:31,809 --> 00:15:33,439
Jonathan Barlow?

341
00:15:44,288 --> 00:15:46,235
Book club!

342
00:15:47,650 --> 00:15:49,133
Well, let's just go ahead and start.

343
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:51,076
I'm here. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I'm late.

344
00:15:51,157 --> 00:15:52,324
You didn't miss anything.

345
00:15:52,343 --> 00:15:53,576
Kablammo.

346
00:15:53,634 --> 00:15:55,048
Nice.

347
00:15:56,054 --> 00:15:59,151
Oh, Alden, hi. What are you doing here?

348
00:15:59,213 --> 00:16:00,655
Hilva's back is still out.

349
00:16:00,671 --> 00:16:01,842
I'm supposed to call her

350
00:16:01,865 --> 00:16:04,303
so I can repeat her book opinions verbatim.

351
00:16:04,388 --> 00:16:05,117
Oh.

352
00:16:05,415 --> 00:16:10,297
Now, how do I hook up
this... this earphone doo-dad.

353
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:12,748
So let's discuss The Velvet Orchid.

354
00:16:12,783 --> 00:16:13,877
Well, it is silver.

355
00:16:13,892 --> 00:16:16,126
How about that slam-bang beginning?

356
00:16:19,654 --> 00:16:20,558
Oh, no.

357
00:16:20,612 --> 00:16:21,822
Hilva, can you hear me?

358
00:16:21,872 --> 00:16:22,869
Oh, my.

359
00:16:23,627 --> 00:16:24,697
Excuse me.

360
00:16:24,716 --> 00:16:27,239
Now, uh, Hilva, are you there?

361
00:16:27,359 --> 00:16:28,975
Hilva, can you hear me?

362
00:16:31,784 --> 00:16:32,622
Ah.

363
00:16:32,623 --> 00:16:34,269
Dora, are you okay?

364
00:16:34,691 --> 00:16:36,647
It's still in.

365
00:16:36,991 --> 00:16:38,107
Up, down.

366
00:16:38,436 --> 00:16:41,044
Yep!

367
00:16:42,253 --> 00:16:43,409
Yep.

368
00:16:45,488 --> 00:16:47,918
Oh. Oh.

369
00:16:51,342 --> 00:16:53,618
Help me.

370
00:16:53,672 --> 00:16:54,770
Oh, all right, I'm getting nothing.

371
00:16:54,797 --> 00:16:56,663
Up, down, up, down, up, down.

372
00:16:57,072 --> 00:16:58,139
Alden...

373
00:16:58,170 --> 00:16:59,619
- Oh, my God.
- Let me do that.

374
00:17:00,067 --> 00:17:01,516
Okay.

375
00:17:01,867 --> 00:17:03,980
Ah! Oh, yes.

376
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,745
- Oh, my.
- Oh.

377
00:17:05,903 --> 00:17:06,641
Um,

378
00:17:06,862 --> 00:17:09,342
you know, let's all give Dora a hand

379
00:17:09,354 --> 00:17:12,213
for that amazing reenactment
of the opening scene, right?

380
00:17:12,224 --> 00:17:13,894
Oh, is that what that was?

381
00:17:13,956 --> 00:17:15,440
'Cause I did not read the book.

382
00:17:15,498 --> 00:17:16,363
It was.

383
00:17:16,765 --> 00:17:17,746
So, to be clear,

384
00:17:18,244 --> 00:17:20,478
the purpose of your 2003 visit

385
00:17:20,505 --> 00:17:22,591
to the former Soviet Union was tourism.

386
00:17:23,519 --> 00:17:25,335
Are you still a Russian sympathizer?

387
00:17:25,996 --> 00:17:27,178
I do like their dressing.

388
00:17:27,298 --> 00:17:28,515
Would you care to elaborate?

389
00:17:29,094 --> 00:17:30,977
On salads and the occasional Reuben.

390
00:17:31,004 --> 00:17:31,761
Uh-huh.

391
00:17:32,863 --> 00:17:34,218
It says here you were once married

392
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:35,749
to a Kelly Patterson.

393
00:17:36,873 --> 00:17:38,554
Big mistake.

394
00:17:38,585 --> 00:17:41,128
She and I were totally
wrong for each other.

395
00:17:41,131 --> 00:17:41,873
"She"?

396
00:17:42,082 --> 00:17:43,210
Kelly was a man.

397
00:17:44,036 --> 00:17:44,809
Yeah?

398
00:17:45,505 --> 00:17:47,185
But I called him my bitch.

399
00:17:48,089 --> 00:17:50,304
You were only together for
six months. Why was that?

400
00:17:50,988 --> 00:17:54,238
Well, he wasn't just a bitch.
He was a son of a bitch.

401
00:17:54,427 --> 00:17:56,718
Plus, he had problems with his, you know...

402
00:17:59,543 --> 00:18:00,690
His wiener.

403
00:18:02,386 --> 00:18:03,615
I think we're done here.

404
00:18:04,439 --> 00:18:05,555
You passed.

405
00:18:05,980 --> 00:18:08,983
I'll meet you in the car.
I'm gonna hit the can.

406
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,375
When you've failed as many
job interviews as I have,

407
00:18:16,495 --> 00:18:18,686
you know when you've screwed the pooch.

408
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:22,635
Agent Herman, please.

409
00:18:24,212 --> 00:18:25,862
Hi, Mark. Roger.

410
00:18:26,530 --> 00:18:29,115
Listen, can you run me
a full background check

411
00:18:29,131 --> 00:18:31,527
on a Jonathan Barlow
from Richmond, Virginia?

412
00:18:31,797 --> 00:18:33,501
Pictures, records, everything.

413
00:18:33,621 --> 00:18:34,506
One hour?

414
00:18:35,063 --> 00:18:35,758
Perfect.

415
00:18:35,878 --> 00:18:36,814
Yeah,

416
00:18:37,327 --> 00:18:38,282
perfect.

417
00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:44,851
Russell, could I see you
in the kitchen, please?

418
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:47,204
Why are you guys home so early?

419
00:18:47,266 --> 00:18:48,541
Well this one had a headache.

420
00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:50,269
- Oh, no, can I get you some aspir...
- No time.

421
00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:52,088
Russell, kitchen, now.

422
00:18:52,676 --> 00:18:54,299
He's in one of his moods.

423
00:18:55,353 --> 00:18:57,540
The only reason Roger needed that FBI check

424
00:18:57,556 --> 00:18:59,212
was because I was dating his son.

425
00:18:59,248 --> 00:18:59,982
So...

426
00:18:59,994 --> 00:19:02,277
- We have to end this.
- What? Why?

427
00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:03,332
God.

428
00:19:03,734 --> 00:19:06,220
Yeah, he's totally pissed we're
being deceitful to your parents.

429
00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:07,815
We need to come clean now.

430
00:19:08,053 --> 00:19:09,114
I can't do that.

431
00:19:09,142 --> 00:19:11,105
They're so proud of me
for finally being honest.

432
00:19:11,133 --> 00:19:12,821
If they find out I'm lying again,

433
00:19:12,848 --> 00:19:13,970
they'll lose all trust in me.

434
00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:16,595
Hey, Mark.

435
00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:17,801
What'd you find out?

436
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:20,437
Emailed you that intel on Barlow,

437
00:19:20,456 --> 00:19:22,539
but, uh, it bounced back.

438
00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:24,403
Susie, what's our new email?

439
00:19:25,537 --> 00:19:27,828
I can't believe you're breaking up with me!

440
00:19:27,874 --> 00:19:28,655
You know what?

441
00:19:29,453 --> 00:19:30,603
I blame you two.

442
00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:33,098
If you hadn't raised him with
such good Christian values,

443
00:19:33,126 --> 00:19:34,983
he'd be okay with me being promiscuous

444
00:19:35,036 --> 00:19:36,624
and hooking up with lots of dudes,

445
00:19:36,899 --> 00:19:38,278
even Russians.

446
00:19:38,398 --> 00:19:39,344
Hang on, Mark.

447
00:19:40,768 --> 00:19:42,107
Last chance, Russell...

448
00:19:42,441 --> 00:19:43,890
monogamy or me?

449
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,206
I'm sorry, Buddy.

450
00:19:47,602 --> 00:19:48,863
I have to let you go.

451
00:19:50,335 --> 00:19:51,759
It was great while it lasted.

452
00:19:56,792 --> 00:19:57,806
Never mind.

453
00:19:59,070 --> 00:20:00,277
It doesn't matter anymore.

454
00:20:00,497 --> 00:20:01,675
It was close,

455
00:20:02,074 --> 00:20:04,281
but I was officially out of the woods.

456
00:20:13,710 --> 00:20:15,691
Man, this is a big one!

457
00:20:19,098 --> 00:20:20,464
What the hell?

458
00:20:30,338 --> 00:20:32,149
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