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Previously on Blunt Talk.
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I'm recently divorced for the fourth time.
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There are custody issues.
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And how old is your ex-wife?
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She's 35.
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That's very nice.
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- Hello.
- Hey.
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- Here's your coffee.
- Thanks.
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Where'd you get those mugs?
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All I found in the kitchen
were these paper cups.
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Oh, and Jim's sushi from
yesterday, which I ate.
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That wasn't from yesterday.
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Are you married?
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Did you give that young man
a ride home again?
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I did. I told him we have an open marriage.
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Hmm, I met a woman, you know, at
the salad bar at Whole Foods.
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You told me about her two nights ago.
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I did?
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I need to be a better father
to the American people.
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And, of course, to my own children.
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Blunt Talk - S01E04
A Beaver That's Lost Its Mind
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sync and correction by solfieri -
www.addic7ed.com
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♪
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Oh, Harry, there you are.
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Mm.
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Yes, Major.
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It appears I went below
deck for a little while.
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I've been thinking,
Harry, while you were gone.
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Drinking makes us sadder, not happier.
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Have you noticed that?
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Yes, Major. I have noticed.
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For how long have you noticed?
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Off and on for the last 10 years.
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Well, it's only after the fourth drink
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that things turn bleak.
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But now that I'm going to AA,
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I think we should start cutting back.
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That would be prudent, sir.
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Harry.
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Yes, Major?
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I'm very scared about tomorrow.
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I know your fears seem real, Major,
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but let me remind you who you are.
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You've interviewed world dignitaries.
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You've jumped out of airplanes.
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You've had malaria and shingles twice.
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You've been wounded in battle.
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And you saved my life in battle.
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So I think you can face a
five-year-old boy who loves you.
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Mm. Eh.
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Oof.
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Thank you, Harry.
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♪
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Only in Los Angeles would you have
valet parking at a preschool.
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Yes, sir.
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Harry, did we make the right choice?
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Is this jacket paternal enough?
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Mm.
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Today is day one of being a better father.
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Okay, there they are.
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Shit.
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Fucking dickhead car.
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Vivian! Bertie!
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Oh, it's Daddy.
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Walter Blunt!
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Hey!
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Ah!
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Oh, you know,
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you can call me Dad, Bertie.
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You know? Walter Blunt is for the public.
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Hi, Vivian.
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Hi. I'm surprised you made it.
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Hi.
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Well, of course I made it.
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I got the email.
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- I volunteered for story corner.
- Mm.
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I have got a thrilling passage to read.
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Mm.
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Um, did I just smell
alcohol on your breath?
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Aftershave.
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Oh.
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Here. Take two.
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Come on.
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What's happened to all our coffee mugs?
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- It's weird.
- I know, it's confusing.
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Guys, can I tell you something personal
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and strange and homoerotic
that's bothering me?
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Please. I love that kind of stuff.
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- Yeah, me, too.
- Well, last night I dreamt that...
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Jim, did you see the new cut of my
segment on fecal impaction therapy?
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I did. It was very interesting.
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Um, I'm sorry. I got to get to the edit.
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Martin, we'll talk about
your homoerotic story later.
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Jim, don't kill the piece.
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Fecal impaction therapy is
good for the immune system.
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Jim, Terrence from HR called.
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He wants you to come to his office.
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- The big guy?
- Yeah.
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Shit.
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♪ Always be yourself,
but if you can be a unicorn ♪
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♪ Always be a unicorn. ♪
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Just the men!
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♪ Always be yourself,
but if you can be a unicorn ♪
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♪ Always be a unicorn... ♪
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- Jumping!
- He's so cute.
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Bertie's voice is the most beautiful.
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- Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.
- Well, it is.
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I know, but people are trying
to listen, Walter. Shh.
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♪ Always be yourself,
but if you can be a unicorn ♪
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♪ Always be a unicorn. ♪
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Are there any unicorns here?
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Yeah!
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Are there any unicorns here?
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Yeah!
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Thank you. Thank you so much.
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I've been a musician for my entire life
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and honestly, this is both
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a personal highlight
and a career highlight.
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I don't get it. Who is this idiot?
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It's Moby the rock star.
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- What?
- Moby the rock star.
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- Moby?
- Moby.
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Like Moby-Dick?
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Walter, Westlake is very lucky to have him.
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- Yeah?
- Yeah.
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Do you think he named himself?
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Shh.
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And if you'll have me back,
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I'd love to come back next year
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and continue my tenure
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as musician in residence
here at Westlake Preschool.
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One more time!
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♪ Always be yourself,
but if you can be a unicorn ♪
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♪ Always be a unicorn. ♪
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Run in circles!
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Martin?
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No, it's me. Not Martin.
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Teddy, what are you doing here?
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Can't I bring my lovely wife flowers?
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Oh.
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I lost my keys again.
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Oh, no, how is this possible?
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I don't know.
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I was at the hardware store
getting ant spray,
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tried to remember this poem by Mark Strand.
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"I open the family album
and look at myself as a boy.
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What good does it do?"
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You can remember poetry,
but you lose your keys.
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I guess so. When I went
out to the parking lot,
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the keys were gone, so I took an Uber here.
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- I'm so sorry.
- Oh.
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Mm.
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Mm.
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You know, we haven't made love
in your office in a long time.
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"'The best thing for being
sad, ' replied Merlin,"
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'is to learn something.
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That is the only thing that never fails.
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You may miss your only love,
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you may see the world about you
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devastated by evil lunatics,
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or know your honor trampled in the sewers
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of baser minds.
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There is only one thing for it then,
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"to learn.'"
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Thank you. Thank you.
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I don't want a explanation, Mr. Stone.
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You have to let us in your office.
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Now, I've been emailing you.
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And I meant to write you back.
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The cleaning staff says
it's been seven months.
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It's against fire code to put
your own lock on the door.
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I don't like strangers in
my office touching things.
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Especially after they've
been cleaning the bathroom.
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- Mr. Stone...
- People don't wash their hands.
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That's how diarrhea gets spread.
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Diarrhea?
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Like if I put my hand on your desk
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and then I put a finger in my mouth
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without thinking, which
happens all the time...
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What are you doing? Stop that.
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I'm just trying to demonstrate that
if there's diarrhea on your desk,
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I just put it in my mouth.
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There is no diarrhea on my desk.
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- In a perfect world.
- This has gone on long enough.
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I'll have maintenance
let me in your office.
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Hold it. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
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Wait, um...
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Tell me about diarrhea on my desk.
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♪
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What are you doing here?
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- How did you get past security?
- Have you seen my smile?
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Well, you shouldn't have come
here without asking me first.
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- That's stalking.
- How am I supposed to ask you?
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I've sent you dozens of texts.
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You haven't responded to any of them.
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Well, you're a married man.
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Doesn't mean I don't have feelings.
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Listen, it was very nice with you.
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Wonderful, actually.
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But it was a one-time thing.
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I don't want to hurt another woman.
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00:09:31,027 --> 00:09:33,078
No, no, no. I told you we're separated.
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Y-yeah, we still live in the same house,
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but you can be together and be separated.
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How would you do that, magic?
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00:09:39,436 --> 00:09:40,736
Yes.
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00:09:40,737 --> 00:09:42,654
Let me tell you what I love about you.
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I love that you say that you
like American chocolate.
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00:09:46,409 --> 00:09:49,361
Although we both know it's not as
good as the British chocolate.
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I love that you could have waved
the flag on not dating me,
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00:09:53,116 --> 00:09:54,666
but you didn't. You took a shot.
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00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:57,169
And that before the date
you actually took a shot.
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00:09:57,170 --> 00:09:59,254
I love that you get that
little crinkle above your nose
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00:09:59,255 --> 00:10:01,457
'cause I'm expressing myself
through lame magic tricks.
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00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:04,093
I love that you're the first person I
want to pick a card in the morning
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00:10:04,094 --> 00:10:05,961
and the last person I want
to pick a card at night.
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00:10:05,962 --> 00:10:07,713
And you're probably sick
of all the card tricks.
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00:10:09,382 --> 00:10:11,550
I came here today because I realized
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00:10:11,551 --> 00:10:15,053
that you and I, we have a joint connection.
220
00:10:15,054 --> 00:10:16,805
And when you have a joint connection,
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00:10:16,806 --> 00:10:20,943
you kind of want that joint
to start as soon as possible.
222
00:10:22,278 --> 00:10:24,363
- Are those real?
- Of course they are.
223
00:10:24,364 --> 00:10:27,649
- They're vintage.
- I told you I love pearls.
224
00:10:27,650 --> 00:10:29,368
How much did those cost?
225
00:10:29,369 --> 00:10:32,454
Oh, a magician never reveals his secrets.
226
00:10:32,455 --> 00:10:34,873
But I do want to impress you. $2,000.
227
00:10:34,874 --> 00:10:37,125
Wow. Wow.
228
00:10:47,086 --> 00:10:48,420
Hello.
229
00:10:48,421 --> 00:10:51,006
You're my son's music teacher.
230
00:10:51,007 --> 00:10:52,341
I'm Walter Blunt.
231
00:10:52,342 --> 00:10:54,643
I just washed my hands. I shouldn't shake.
232
00:10:54,644 --> 00:10:56,178
I don't mind a wet hand.
233
00:10:56,179 --> 00:10:57,846
You know, it's funny,
234
00:10:57,847 --> 00:10:59,431
given the terms of my parole,
235
00:10:59,432 --> 00:11:02,683
I probably shouldn't even
be using that bathroom.
236
00:11:04,070 --> 00:11:06,522
Oh, I'm sorry. That was a joke.
237
00:11:06,523 --> 00:11:08,857
Your son is very talented, Walter.
238
00:11:08,858 --> 00:11:10,191
It's nice to meet you.
239
00:11:12,529 --> 00:11:14,695
Hi, how are ya?
240
00:11:16,115 --> 00:11:18,366
All right, see you, okay.
241
00:11:19,619 --> 00:11:20,869
Hey.
242
00:11:20,870 --> 00:11:23,005
That was very intimate.
243
00:11:23,006 --> 00:11:24,373
Are you dating Moby-Dick?
244
00:11:24,374 --> 00:11:26,675
It's just Moby. No Dick.
245
00:11:26,676 --> 00:11:28,627
- And, yes, I am.
- And when did this happen?
246
00:11:28,628 --> 00:11:30,712
Walter, we're divorced.
It's none of your business.
247
00:11:30,713 --> 00:11:33,465
Yes, it is my business.
I don't want my son exposed
248
00:11:33,466 --> 00:11:36,051
to a debauched rock star who's doing drugs.
249
00:11:36,052 --> 00:11:38,437
He's a vegan and he's sober. Unlike you.
250
00:11:38,438 --> 00:11:41,522
Bertie's parents? You can come in now.
251
00:11:48,398 --> 00:11:50,482
I need to show you something
that could be a problem.
252
00:11:50,483 --> 00:11:52,618
Morning Joe did the exact same story
253
00:11:52,619 --> 00:11:55,237
I produced for the health
segment tonight. Read it.
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00:11:55,238 --> 00:11:57,405
♪
255
00:12:06,583 --> 00:12:08,083
- That is odd.
- Yeah.
256
00:12:08,084 --> 00:12:10,636
MSNBC did your fecal impaction story.
257
00:12:10,637 --> 00:12:12,471
Probably just zeitgeist.
258
00:12:12,472 --> 00:12:15,891
Fecal impaction therapy
is very zeitgeist, I admit,
259
00:12:15,892 --> 00:12:19,428
but the way they linked dead
modern foods and dead colons,
260
00:12:19,429 --> 00:12:21,430
it's too weird and similar.
261
00:12:21,431 --> 00:12:24,099
Someone must have leaked my
story after we left last night.
262
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:25,934
I'm telling Rosalie.
263
00:12:25,935 --> 00:12:29,103
It's zeitgeist. You're being paranoid.
264
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:33,158
Not now, Shelly. We're busy.
265
00:12:33,159 --> 00:12:34,993
- But Morning Joe...
- It can wait.
266
00:12:34,994 --> 00:12:37,863
Are you Martin?
267
00:12:37,864 --> 00:12:39,781
Oh, I've heard a lot about you.
268
00:12:39,782 --> 00:12:41,616
Rosalie.
269
00:12:43,953 --> 00:12:45,621
I can't trust you to be alone with him.
270
00:12:45,622 --> 00:12:47,122
You can't even take care of yourself.
271
00:12:47,123 --> 00:12:48,790
- That's not true.
- It is true.
272
00:12:48,791 --> 00:12:50,175
I know your pattern, Walter.
273
00:12:50,176 --> 00:12:51,293
The anniversary of the
Falklands is coming up.
274
00:12:51,294 --> 00:12:52,544
- Hey!
- And that... no!
275
00:12:52,545 --> 00:12:54,212
That is when you and Harry really go nuts.
276
00:12:54,213 --> 00:12:56,465
- Who's Harry?
- We remember the fallen.
277
00:12:56,466 --> 00:12:58,300
We're here to talk about
Bertie's academics, so...
278
00:12:58,301 --> 00:13:00,769
You had alcohol on
your breath this morning.
279
00:13:00,770 --> 00:13:03,021
Listen, I worked with my team
till 2:00 AM last night
280
00:13:03,022 --> 00:13:04,690
so I could be at this parents' day.
281
00:13:04,691 --> 00:13:07,476
When I got home, I had a couple of
scotches just to help me sleep.
282
00:13:07,477 --> 00:13:09,311
- A couple?
- You should also know
283
00:13:09,312 --> 00:13:11,063
that we were working on a health special
284
00:13:11,064 --> 00:13:12,781
inspired by my concern for Bertie.
285
00:13:12,782 --> 00:13:14,399
As you will see tonight.
286
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,735
Well, we've stopped watching.
I think it confuses him.
287
00:13:18,154 --> 00:13:19,988
You don't even let him watch me on TV?
288
00:13:19,989 --> 00:13:21,823
Have you guys thought of FaceTiming?
289
00:13:21,824 --> 00:13:25,160
That seems to work for a lot of
our families in your situation.
290
00:13:25,161 --> 00:13:29,081
I like that. I think you need to
work on your listening skills.
291
00:13:29,082 --> 00:13:32,834
I don't know how to FaceTime. I'm on AOL.
292
00:13:32,835 --> 00:13:35,836
♪
293
00:13:45,848 --> 00:13:48,100
Ah! Fuck!
294
00:13:48,101 --> 00:13:50,102
Where are you, Major?
295
00:13:50,103 --> 00:13:52,070
Oh, there you are.
296
00:13:52,071 --> 00:13:54,189
I'm gonna stay in the Challenger
297
00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:56,692
and sleep off the rest
of this hangover, sir.
298
00:13:56,693 --> 00:13:59,661
Harry, I hate this car like an infection.
299
00:13:59,662 --> 00:14:03,332
I'll say it again, sir. You
could sit in the front seat.
300
00:14:03,333 --> 00:14:05,616
And you could sit on my face.
301
00:14:08,204 --> 00:14:09,705
Jim, we know you're in there
302
00:14:09,706 --> 00:14:11,456
and we need your advice on something.
303
00:14:11,457 --> 00:14:13,342
Can't right now. Having an issue.
304
00:14:13,343 --> 00:14:14,710
Sorry to let you down, buddy.
305
00:14:14,711 --> 00:14:17,212
Just give me 20 minutes. Maybe 25.
306
00:14:17,213 --> 00:14:20,098
I still want to hear your homoerotic story.
307
00:14:20,099 --> 00:14:21,883
- What?
- Just...
308
00:14:21,884 --> 00:14:23,101
Let's go to Celia's.
309
00:14:23,102 --> 00:14:24,302
Ooh, I saw her go in there a while ago.
310
00:14:24,303 --> 00:14:25,554
She's always napping.
311
00:14:25,555 --> 00:14:27,105
Well, she has an iron deficiency.
312
00:14:27,106 --> 00:14:29,441
Right.
313
00:14:29,442 --> 00:14:31,059
I'm indisposed.
314
00:14:31,060 --> 00:14:32,527
I'll be out in 10 minutes.
315
00:14:32,528 --> 00:14:34,396
We have a problem
with my beautiful segment.
316
00:14:34,397 --> 00:14:35,947
I'll be out in 10 minutes!
317
00:14:35,948 --> 00:14:37,566
What's going on?
318
00:14:37,567 --> 00:14:39,317
MSNBC ran a piece this morning
319
00:14:39,318 --> 00:14:41,486
that's eerily similar
to the segment I produced.
320
00:14:41,487 --> 00:14:44,790
- Eerily?
- I think we've been hacked or we have a leak.
321
00:14:44,791 --> 00:14:47,242
Or Shelly's paranoid
and it's just zeitgeist.
322
00:14:47,243 --> 00:14:49,077
Stop saying zeitgeist.
323
00:14:49,078 --> 00:14:51,329
Just either way, we need to come
up with a new health segment.
324
00:14:51,330 --> 00:14:53,081
I'd like to suggest an
equally beautiful segment
325
00:14:53,082 --> 00:14:55,133
- that I cut together a few weeks ago.
- Stop saying beautiful.
326
00:14:55,134 --> 00:14:57,085
It's a beautiful segment that Jim killed
327
00:14:57,086 --> 00:15:00,300
about how emotional trauma can be
stored in our DNA and then passed on.
328
00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:01,723
That Harvard worm study.
329
00:15:01,724 --> 00:15:03,942
Oh, yeah. You know it. It's good, right?
330
00:15:03,943 --> 00:15:05,394
Hi, Mr. Blunt.
331
00:15:05,395 --> 00:15:07,778
♪
332
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,400
Hello, Walter.
333
00:15:25,131 --> 00:15:26,915
Uh.
334
00:15:26,916 --> 00:15:29,668
Vivian is dating a musician.
335
00:15:29,669 --> 00:15:31,587
Now it's really over.
336
00:15:31,588 --> 00:15:35,340
Walter, you've been divorced seven months.
337
00:15:35,341 --> 00:15:38,010
But this has reopened the wound.
338
00:15:38,011 --> 00:15:40,929
You need to put a veneer over your heart.
339
00:15:40,930 --> 00:15:42,731
I've told you this before.
340
00:15:42,732 --> 00:15:46,018
I will, later. Right now
I'd just like to spoon,
341
00:15:46,019 --> 00:15:47,936
if that's all right with you?
342
00:15:47,937 --> 00:15:51,073
I don't know that we have
time to spoon right now.
343
00:15:51,074 --> 00:15:53,025
We have an issue.
344
00:15:53,026 --> 00:15:55,077
She also won't let me see Bertie.
345
00:15:55,078 --> 00:15:56,411
Well, she's probably right.
346
00:15:56,412 --> 00:15:58,247
I'm a terrible father.
347
00:15:58,248 --> 00:16:00,032
He'd be better off with Moby.
348
00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:02,951
She's dating Moby?
349
00:16:02,952 --> 00:16:07,039
Just be patient. Vivian's not unreasonable.
Now listen...
350
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:10,876
But I'm losing my way again, Rosalie.
I can feel it.
351
00:16:10,877 --> 00:16:14,463
I'm uncentered, unmoored.
352
00:16:14,464 --> 00:16:16,381
You can't lose your way again.
353
00:16:16,382 --> 00:16:18,267
You just lost it two weeks ago.
354
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,602
I need one of my men to keep it together.
355
00:16:20,603 --> 00:16:22,104
What's that supposed to mean?
356
00:16:22,105 --> 00:16:24,523
It means stop being a baby.
357
00:16:24,524 --> 00:16:26,307
Then spoon me.
358
00:16:27,310 --> 00:16:29,644
Jesus Christ!
359
00:16:34,984 --> 00:16:39,154
We need to replace Shelly's
fecal impaction story.
360
00:16:39,155 --> 00:16:42,324
MSNBC ran the same thing this morning.
361
00:16:42,325 --> 00:16:43,825
Oh, damn it.
362
00:16:43,826 --> 00:16:46,878
That whole health series
was meant for Bertie.
363
00:16:48,665 --> 00:16:50,165
Mr. Blunt.
364
00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:52,801
Now what the hell is going on here?
365
00:16:52,802 --> 00:16:54,169
Spooning.
366
00:16:54,170 --> 00:16:56,304
Hi, Walter.
367
00:16:58,841 --> 00:17:00,676
Jim.
368
00:17:00,677 --> 00:17:03,562
Jim, it's Walter.
369
00:17:03,563 --> 00:17:06,014
You need to open your door.
370
00:17:06,015 --> 00:17:07,849
I can't right now, Walter.
371
00:17:07,850 --> 00:17:10,235
I'll come out later after everyone's gone.
372
00:17:10,236 --> 00:17:13,155
Is this a cry for help, Jim?
373
00:17:13,156 --> 00:17:15,023
- No!
- Are you sure?
374
00:17:15,024 --> 00:17:18,910
Because I've been told
that I'm not a good listener.
375
00:17:18,911 --> 00:17:22,364
If you've been crying out
and I haven't heard you...
376
00:17:22,365 --> 00:17:25,867
No, I have not been crying out.
377
00:17:25,868 --> 00:17:27,669
Then open the door!
378
00:17:27,670 --> 00:17:29,838
Jim, this is a fucking newsroom!
379
00:17:29,839 --> 00:17:32,039
Open the fucking door!
380
00:17:34,877 --> 00:17:36,628
Winston, open him up.
381
00:17:36,629 --> 00:17:38,180
No, no, stop.
382
00:17:38,181 --> 00:17:41,099
Jim is a valued member of my staff.
383
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:43,051
This is undignified.
384
00:17:43,052 --> 00:17:45,270
Celia, she can reason with him.
385
00:17:45,271 --> 00:17:48,223
They're close. Where is she?
386
00:17:48,224 --> 00:17:50,057
Excuse me.
387
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:02,821
- Hello.
- Who the hell are you?
388
00:18:02,822 --> 00:18:05,040
- Francis.
- What is it, Walter?
389
00:18:05,041 --> 00:18:06,241
Um, how was parents' day?
390
00:18:06,242 --> 00:18:07,659
Celia, who is this man?
391
00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:09,878
He's a friend. He's a magician.
392
00:18:09,879 --> 00:18:12,164
'Cause I thought it might be fun to
do a little piece on sleight of hand.
393
00:18:12,165 --> 00:18:15,167
I don't have time for this.
You have to speak to Jim.
394
00:18:15,168 --> 00:18:17,052
He has locked himself in his office.
395
00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:19,588
Excuse me. I don't understand.
396
00:18:19,589 --> 00:18:21,423
Why has Jim locked himself in his office?
397
00:18:21,424 --> 00:18:22,674
We don't know.
398
00:18:22,675 --> 00:18:24,259
He said something about diarrhea.
399
00:18:24,260 --> 00:18:25,927
I couldn't follow him to be honest.
400
00:18:25,928 --> 00:18:27,929
I think I know what's going on here.
401
00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:30,849
He snapped and he leaked
my story to Morning Joe.
402
00:18:30,850 --> 00:18:33,985
He always spikes my stories,
and this time he leaked one.
403
00:18:33,986 --> 00:18:36,154
I don't like that kind
of speculation, Shelly.
404
00:18:36,155 --> 00:18:38,607
Sorry, but I think I'm right.
405
00:18:38,608 --> 00:18:41,193
Jim.
406
00:18:41,194 --> 00:18:42,444
You do sleight of hand?
407
00:18:42,445 --> 00:18:44,613
Jim.
408
00:18:44,614 --> 00:18:46,832
Do you know where my keys are?
409
00:18:46,833 --> 00:18:49,618
Celia is here. Talk to her.
410
00:18:49,619 --> 00:18:52,788
No, Walter, she doesn't
like me 'cause I'm Jewish.
411
00:18:52,789 --> 00:18:56,124
No, that's not true.
No, I like to tease you.
412
00:18:56,125 --> 00:18:58,460
I love that you're Jewish.
413
00:18:58,461 --> 00:19:00,962
What's going on? What's happening?
414
00:19:00,963 --> 00:19:03,632
I have issues.
415
00:19:03,633 --> 00:19:05,634
What kind of issues?
416
00:19:05,635 --> 00:19:09,020
If I told you, you wouldn't like me.
Nobody would.
417
00:19:09,021 --> 00:19:11,640
Of course we would. We all have issues.
418
00:19:11,641 --> 00:19:13,442
I have loneliness issues.
419
00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:17,028
Intimacy issues. Nighttime driving issues.
420
00:19:17,029 --> 00:19:19,815
Anxiety issues. Promiscuity issues.
421
00:19:19,816 --> 00:19:21,900
See, those all sound like fun issues.
422
00:19:21,901 --> 00:19:25,320
Your only issue, Mr. Stone,
is to open this damn door.
423
00:19:25,321 --> 00:19:27,205
I don't have time for this craziness.
424
00:19:27,206 --> 00:19:28,657
Yeah, he's right, Jim.
425
00:19:28,658 --> 00:19:33,495
Now, we broadcast in 90 minutes
and we need a new segment.
426
00:19:33,496 --> 00:19:36,331
You didn't leak anything
to Morning Joe, did you?
427
00:19:36,332 --> 00:19:37,916
What?
428
00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:40,836
Because if you didn't, then
you have nothing to hide.
429
00:19:40,837 --> 00:19:43,588
So open up. That's an order, Jim.
430
00:19:43,589 --> 00:19:46,258
No! I'm a monster.
431
00:19:48,177 --> 00:19:49,810
Open it.
432
00:20:00,907 --> 00:20:04,359
You know, I think we're gonna
need to get a locksmith.
433
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:05,577
Oh, Jesus.
434
00:20:05,578 --> 00:20:07,362
I can try to kick the door down.
435
00:20:07,363 --> 00:20:09,247
I have powerful legs.
436
00:20:09,248 --> 00:20:12,501
- It's true.
- No, Teddy, I'll break the door down.
437
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:14,785
And injure yourself? Mm-mm.
438
00:20:21,294 --> 00:20:23,677
Voila!
439
00:20:29,635 --> 00:20:31,686
He's a hoarder.
440
00:20:31,687 --> 00:20:34,105
Good Lord.
441
00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:40,277
Is that my Queen Elizabeth mug?
442
00:20:54,043 --> 00:20:56,161
And after we come back from the break,
443
00:20:56,162 --> 00:20:58,997
we will tell you about
a fascinating Harvard study
444
00:20:58,998 --> 00:21:01,249
which indicates that emotional trauma
445
00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:04,302
can be found in our DNA and passed on.
446
00:21:04,303 --> 00:21:07,805
Put Walter's mike up. Maybe
he's gonna praise my writing.
447
00:21:08,925 --> 00:21:11,259
So what is going on with Jim?
448
00:21:11,260 --> 00:21:12,928
Jim's computer is clean.
449
00:21:12,929 --> 00:21:15,513
He didn't leak that story.
It was just zeitgeist.
450
00:21:15,514 --> 00:21:19,184
- Told you.
- But now I got to talk to him about this hoarding.
451
00:21:19,185 --> 00:21:21,319
No, no, no. I'll go to him.
I'll counsel him.
452
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:24,689
But what's going on? Everybody
seems to be losing their mind.
453
00:21:24,690 --> 00:21:27,108
- They take your lead.
- Oh, thank you.
454
00:21:27,109 --> 00:21:28,860
They look to you as a father figure.
455
00:21:28,861 --> 00:21:31,112
You crack, they all crack.
456
00:21:31,113 --> 00:21:34,032
You get it together,
they all get it together.
457
00:21:34,033 --> 00:21:36,952
So it's because of me that Jim's
a hoarder, Shelly's paranoid,
458
00:21:36,953 --> 00:21:39,454
and Celia's having sex with
a magician in her office?
459
00:21:39,455 --> 00:21:42,290
What's wrong with that?
She's a senior producer.
460
00:21:42,291 --> 00:21:45,843
And it was very special.
He gave me a pearl necklace.
461
00:21:48,297 --> 00:21:52,216
No, no, no, no, no!
An actual pearl necklace.
462
00:21:54,937 --> 00:21:58,305
Walter, you... I meant this.
I meant a real necklace.
463
00:22:01,277 --> 00:22:03,812
Harry, there you are.
464
00:22:03,813 --> 00:22:07,282
Oh, Lord. Are you still hungover?
465
00:22:07,283 --> 00:22:08,650
Just about cured.
466
00:22:08,651 --> 00:22:11,703
This herring is restoring my brain cells.
467
00:22:11,704 --> 00:22:14,706
Well, we have to get a move on.
We must go to Jim's.
468
00:22:14,707 --> 00:22:16,708
I'll tell you what, though.
469
00:22:16,709 --> 00:22:19,911
You can give me a piece
of that herring for courage.
470
00:22:19,912 --> 00:22:22,664
God knows what we're gonna
find at Jim's apartment.
471
00:22:22,665 --> 00:22:24,916
Open wide, Major.
472
00:22:24,917 --> 00:22:26,800
Here comes the herring.
473
00:22:28,888 --> 00:22:30,588
Mm.
474
00:22:30,589 --> 00:22:33,807
♪
475
00:22:52,028 --> 00:22:53,862
These are great, Walter.
476
00:22:53,863 --> 00:22:56,364
Oh, thank you, Jim.
477
00:22:56,365 --> 00:23:00,118
It comes of spending so much time
in a tent when I was a Marine.
478
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,620
When my eldest son was little,
479
00:23:02,621 --> 00:23:04,706
I used to do them for him at bedtime.
480
00:23:04,707 --> 00:23:06,541
- Your son the boxer?
- Yes.
481
00:23:06,542 --> 00:23:08,677
Rafe the boxer.
482
00:23:08,678 --> 00:23:10,679
I don't do them so much for Bertie,
483
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:14,182
but then he was born just as
I launched Blunt Talk, so...
484
00:23:14,183 --> 00:23:16,601
I know I'm supposed to FaceTime him,
485
00:23:16,602 --> 00:23:18,436
but I don't know how to.
486
00:23:18,437 --> 00:23:21,806
Anyway, I-I'm sorry to have
been going on like this.
487
00:23:21,807 --> 00:23:24,559
Look, Jim, I'm here for you.
488
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,062
I know you see me as a father figure.
489
00:23:27,063 --> 00:23:29,647
I don't, actually, Walter.
490
00:23:29,648 --> 00:23:32,617
- Oh?
- But I do see you as a mentor.
491
00:23:32,618 --> 00:23:35,235
Like a father mentor?
492
00:23:36,322 --> 00:23:37,739
Sure.
493
00:23:37,740 --> 00:23:39,574
I look up to you.
494
00:23:39,575 --> 00:23:41,459
I... I...
495
00:23:41,460 --> 00:23:43,912
I hope to be on the air
someday just like you.
496
00:23:43,913 --> 00:23:47,799
I like that, Jim.
It's healthy to have goals.
497
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:51,669
But before you ascend to my throne,
498
00:23:51,670 --> 00:23:54,639
let's take baby steps.
499
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:56,390
Why do you...
500
00:23:58,260 --> 00:23:59,928
you know?
501
00:23:59,929 --> 00:24:03,148
Live like a beaver that's lost his mind?
502
00:24:03,149 --> 00:24:04,933
Exactly.
503
00:24:04,934 --> 00:24:07,402
Well...
504
00:24:07,403 --> 00:24:11,106
I think it's a way to put off death.
505
00:24:11,107 --> 00:24:13,742
By never throwing anything away,
506
00:24:13,743 --> 00:24:17,612
then it's like I can use everything again
507
00:24:17,613 --> 00:24:20,165
and live forever.
508
00:24:20,166 --> 00:24:21,950
But you're being buried alive.
509
00:24:21,951 --> 00:24:25,453
I know. It's not quite working.
510
00:24:25,454 --> 00:24:29,174
Oh, well, that's why
I am going to help you.
511
00:24:29,175 --> 00:24:32,293
I'm going to pay for you to see my analyst.
512
00:24:32,294 --> 00:24:37,298
That will be my first step
as a father mentor figure.
513
00:24:37,299 --> 00:24:39,967
Thank you. Um...
514
00:24:41,103 --> 00:24:44,389
As your son protégée figure...
515
00:24:45,808 --> 00:24:47,976
Maybe there's something I can do for you.
516
00:24:47,977 --> 00:24:50,779
It's ringing.
517
00:24:50,780 --> 00:24:52,947
Mm-hmm.
518
00:24:52,948 --> 00:24:54,816
Vivian, it's Walter!
519
00:24:54,817 --> 00:24:56,201
I can see that.
520
00:24:56,202 --> 00:24:59,120
I'm FaceTiming. Isn't this exciting?
521
00:24:59,121 --> 00:25:00,738
Can I speak to Bertie, please?
522
00:25:00,739 --> 00:25:02,406
Glad you figured it out.
523
00:25:04,877 --> 00:25:07,912
Walter. It's Claude Rains.
524
00:25:07,913 --> 00:25:10,497
The Invisible Man. Brrr!
525
00:25:11,917 --> 00:25:13,301
Hi, Walter.
526
00:25:13,302 --> 00:25:16,337
Is that Moby? Hey, what's up, Moby?
527
00:25:16,338 --> 00:25:18,339
Hi, how are you?
528
00:25:18,340 --> 00:25:20,341
My son, please.
529
00:25:20,342 --> 00:25:23,261
Oh, Vivian's getting him. Walter,
I have a question for you.
530
00:25:23,262 --> 00:25:25,063
When you shave your head,
531
00:25:25,064 --> 00:25:27,732
do you use a straight razor or clippers?
532
00:25:27,733 --> 00:25:29,400
'Cause I tried using a straight razor
533
00:25:29,401 --> 00:25:31,236
and I took big chunks out of my scalp
534
00:25:31,237 --> 00:25:32,687
and there was blood everywhere.
535
00:25:32,688 --> 00:25:34,022
But when I look at your scalp,
536
00:25:34,023 --> 00:25:35,406
I don't see any nicks or cuts.
537
00:25:35,407 --> 00:25:36,825
So how do you do that?
538
00:25:36,826 --> 00:25:38,243
I'm good with a blade.
539
00:25:38,244 --> 00:25:40,194
Now step away from the computer, please.
540
00:25:46,418 --> 00:25:47,785
Hello, Bertie.
541
00:25:47,786 --> 00:25:49,921
Walter Blunt.
542
00:25:49,922 --> 00:25:52,506
Is this the news?
543
00:25:54,210 --> 00:25:57,177
♪