1
00:00:00,202 --> 00:00:01,957
(male announcer) Previously on <i>Impastor... </i>

2
00:00:01,995 --> 00:00:03,544
Oh, my gosh, I did it.

3
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,464
You electrify me.

4
00:00:06,050 --> 00:00:08,752
You're having an affair with Dora.

5
00:00:08,972 --> 00:00:09,919
Dora?

6
00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:11,651
Did you come here to have your way

7
00:00:11,662 --> 00:00:13,544
with a poor, defenseless woman?

8
00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:16,107
You sure?

9
00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:19,638
And I find that incredibly sexy.

10
00:00:20,013 --> 00:00:21,183
You do?

11
00:00:21,532 --> 00:00:23,034
[gasps]

12
00:00:25,410 --> 00:00:29,015
- [police radio chatter]
- [sirens]

13
00:00:30,648 --> 00:00:32,227
Whoa, whoa. Sir... it's a crime scene.

14
00:00:32,347 --> 00:00:33,849
All right, I... I live
here. What's going on?

15
00:00:33,850 --> 00:00:34,930
Someone's been shot.

16
00:00:35,072 --> 00:00:37,327
- Oh, God. Dora.
- Sir? Sir!

17
00:00:42,092 --> 00:00:43,293
[gasps] Buddy!

18
00:00:43,874 --> 00:00:46,364
Dora. Are you okay, what happened?

19
00:00:46,364 --> 00:00:48,844
There was somebody in
a ski mask with a gun.

20
00:00:49,193 --> 00:00:50,996
And so, I grabbed my bow.

21
00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:57,146
Oh!

22
00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,491
(Dora) And then, shot.

23
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,242
I'm so sorry. That must
have been terrifying.

24
00:01:02,276 --> 00:01:04,278
I think that it was probably the same creep

25
00:01:04,299 --> 00:01:06,357
who broke into Mrs. Lutz's house.

26
00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:07,871
Yeah.

27
00:01:08,323 --> 00:01:09,403
Probably.

28
00:01:09,455 --> 00:01:11,551
Ma'am? We need your statement.

29
00:01:11,791 --> 00:01:13,754
- It's gonna be okay.
- Come with me.

30
00:01:14,707 --> 00:01:16,400
(Buddy voiceover) This was all my fault.

31
00:01:16,645 --> 00:01:18,346
The killer had come for me.

32
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:21,560
Clearly sent by that sick prick, Damien.

33
00:01:21,625 --> 00:01:24,416
[dramatic music]

34
00:01:24,745 --> 00:01:30,304
♪

35
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:39,592
Oh, Damien.

36
00:01:39,670 --> 00:01:41,339
Oh, thank God you're here.

37
00:01:43,909 --> 00:01:45,049
Don't worry.

38
00:01:45,660 --> 00:01:47,326
I'll take care of you.

39
00:01:48,651 --> 00:01:50,209
[gunshot]

40
00:01:56,467 --> 00:01:57,663
(Buddy voiceover) I had to split town

41
00:01:57,676 --> 00:01:59,489
before Damien came gunning for me again,

42
00:01:59,609 --> 00:02:02,816
so I maxed out the cash advance
on Barlow's credit cards.

43
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:05,178
Now I just had to figure
out where the hell to go

44
00:02:05,195 --> 00:02:06,530
so he couldn't hunt me down.

45
00:02:07,326 --> 00:02:10,328
[intense music]

46
00:02:10,329 --> 00:02:15,367
♪

47
00:02:26,069 --> 00:02:28,811
Jonathan, do you own a place in Mexico?

48
00:02:29,882 --> 00:02:31,161
I think you do.

49
00:02:32,350 --> 00:02:33,227
Get this...

50
00:02:33,275 --> 00:02:35,354
somebody in Ladner just took out

51
00:02:35,362 --> 00:02:38,143
a boat load of cash on
Jonathan Barlow's credit card.

52
00:02:38,457 --> 00:02:40,200
- Do you know what that means?
- Yeah,

53
00:02:41,314 --> 00:02:42,227
but you go first.

54
00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:44,629
I'm thinking whoever has his credit card

55
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:47,065
killed Barlow and dumped him in the bay.

56
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,871
- Bullseye.
- We've gotta move on this.

57
00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:52,074
Or we could head over to Dino's Deli

58
00:02:52,087 --> 00:02:53,813
- for cheese steaks.
- Tim,

59
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:55,931
we're talking about murder here.

60
00:02:56,108 --> 00:02:57,329
You know what else is murder?

61
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:59,563
That line at Dino's if we
don't get there by noon.

62
00:03:05,688 --> 00:03:06,820
(Buddy voice over)
Ashlee had a guy who could

63
00:03:06,855 --> 00:03:09,170
doctor my passport, but I had to move fast.

64
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:11,296
Damien wasn't the type to waste time.

65
00:03:11,313 --> 00:03:12,866
- [doorbell rings]
- Damn.

66
00:03:15,027 --> 00:03:16,645
Oh, hello, Pastor.

67
00:03:16,662 --> 00:03:17,794
I want you to know

68
00:03:17,811 --> 00:03:20,312
that I am calling an emergency
meeting of the council

69
00:03:20,337 --> 00:03:23,931
to discuss that... terrible
business last night.

70
00:03:24,340 --> 00:03:25,184
Okay.

71
00:03:25,304 --> 00:03:28,372
Also, our daughter, Lisa,
and her fiancé, Gunter,

72
00:03:28,377 --> 00:03:30,623
are ready for their premarital counseling.

73
00:03:30,743 --> 00:03:31,673
Good for them.

74
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,236
Have Dora set something up for Monday.

75
00:03:33,244 --> 00:03:35,021
(Buddy voiceover) When I'm
chugging margaritas in Cancun.

76
00:03:35,047 --> 00:03:36,114
The meeting's right now.

77
00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:37,422
Was scheduled weeks ago.

78
00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:40,418
Apparently, Robin Hood didn't
put it on your schedule.

79
00:03:40,419 --> 00:03:42,687
Yeah, well, Dora's been
a little preoccupied.

80
00:03:42,688 --> 00:03:44,598
That, she has. Whore...

81
00:03:44,718 --> 00:03:46,091
able what happened to her.

82
00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:48,107
(Schmidt) Hilva? Enough.

83
00:03:48,227 --> 00:03:50,215
So this counseling's for them, right?

84
00:03:52,431 --> 00:03:54,502
I just want to not think about this

85
00:03:54,506 --> 00:03:56,232
and move on with the rest of my life.

86
00:03:58,957 --> 00:04:01,407
[applause]

87
00:04:02,787 --> 00:04:03,996
What's going on?

88
00:04:04,521 --> 00:04:06,006
I think it's for you.

89
00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:09,617
- You're a hero.
- Oh. Oh.

90
00:04:09,669 --> 00:04:11,383
Well, that's... thank you.

91
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:13,856
No, thank you for standing up to crime.

92
00:04:13,865 --> 00:04:14,953
You're drinking free today.

93
00:04:14,954 --> 00:04:16,068
Oh, no, that's okay.

94
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,574
I don't need any special treatment.

95
00:04:17,587 --> 00:04:19,758
Oh, why not? You're a star, girl.

96
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,841
- [applause]
- ♪ Hallelujah ♪

97
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:25,700
- [cheers]
- All right, Dora.

98
00:04:27,989 --> 00:04:30,490
So, uh, you guys get along okay?

99
00:04:32,693 --> 00:04:34,079
Yeah, you, uh...

100
00:04:35,460 --> 00:04:37,952
You have any diseases the
other should know about?

101
00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:44,382
Okay, you sound perfect for each other.

102
00:04:44,383 --> 00:04:46,441
- Best of luck.
- Wait, is that it?

103
00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:48,883
No. No, no, no. Of course not.

104
00:04:49,003 --> 00:04:50,624
Uh...

105
00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:52,606
How's the sex?

106
00:04:52,627 --> 00:04:55,888
Gunter and I have never had...

107
00:04:56,136 --> 00:04:57,771
relations.

108
00:04:58,358 --> 00:05:01,139
- We're saving ourselves for marriage.
- What?

109
00:05:02,672 --> 00:05:05,435
How can you get married
without boning first?

110
00:05:05,630 --> 00:05:08,039
What if the key doesn't fit the lock?

111
00:05:09,269 --> 00:05:14,327
Well, uh, we feel that
our love and mutual res...

112
00:05:14,367 --> 00:05:16,653
Yeah, yeah, yeah, forget
that emotional crap.

113
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:17,480
Listen to me.

114
00:05:17,561 --> 00:05:18,956
When you hook up,

115
00:05:19,378 --> 00:05:21,637
that's when you know if
you're right for each other.

116
00:05:21,659 --> 00:05:24,267
It's called chemistry.
Without it, you're screwed.

117
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:25,159
I...

118
00:05:25,619 --> 00:05:27,014
don't know what to say.

119
00:05:27,177 --> 00:05:28,800
I believe the words are "thank you,"

120
00:05:28,826 --> 00:05:30,263
and if you'd like to throw in a little tip,

121
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:31,532
that'd be okay too.

122
00:05:32,992 --> 00:05:33,775
No?

123
00:05:34,399 --> 00:05:36,056
Well, consider yourselves counseled.

124
00:05:36,077 --> 00:05:37,571
I gotta book.

125
00:05:42,159 --> 00:05:43,689
No, but take another one. I was blinking.

126
00:05:43,708 --> 00:05:44,646
It's good enough.

127
00:05:44,676 --> 00:05:46,463
Hey, this is my fake passport picture.

128
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,741
It's gotta look really good.

129
00:05:47,861 --> 00:05:48,973
[sighs]

130
00:05:50,381 --> 00:05:51,719
Okay, what's this gonna cost me?

131
00:05:51,758 --> 00:05:53,230
- A grand.
- What?

132
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:56,342
Well, it's usually 800,
but I can smell desperation.

133
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:58,971
Fine, but I need it ASAP.

134
00:05:58,988 --> 00:06:00,506
The best my guy can do is tomorrow morning.

135
00:06:00,538 --> 00:06:01,708
I could be dead by then.

136
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,284
Good thing you're paying upfront.

137
00:06:03,955 --> 00:06:05,918
I'm gonna miss you too, Ashlee.

138
00:06:06,517 --> 00:06:08,668
[dramatic piano organ music]

139
00:06:13,016 --> 00:06:14,750
(Buddy voiceover) Just
in case Damien knew my car

140
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,448
had Florida plates, I
decided to swipe some new ones

141
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:18,809
for my drive to Mexico.

142
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:23,248
Now I just had to stay alive
till I got that passport.

143
00:06:23,271 --> 00:06:24,738
[loud thud]

144
00:06:28,439 --> 00:06:29,153
Buddy?

145
00:06:29,394 --> 00:06:30,389
What are you doing?

146
00:06:30,419 --> 00:06:33,277
Hey. I was just, uh...

147
00:06:34,138 --> 00:06:35,885
picking up a bottle cap.

148
00:06:36,005 --> 00:06:37,116
I collect them.

149
00:06:37,512 --> 00:06:39,139
Ooh... Coors Light.

150
00:06:39,328 --> 00:06:40,822
Don't see that much.

151
00:06:41,653 --> 00:06:44,859
Um, listen. About last night.

152
00:06:44,979 --> 00:06:46,524
I am really sorry.

153
00:06:46,542 --> 00:06:48,332
I mean, trying to seduce you like that

154
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,183
was totally inappropriate.

155
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,534
I forgive you.

156
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:53,281
On the plus side, it did make me realize

157
00:06:53,298 --> 00:06:54,706
why I've never found love.

158
00:06:54,826 --> 00:06:56,914
I always go after unattainable men.

159
00:06:56,987 --> 00:06:57,908
I get it.

160
00:06:58,028 --> 00:06:59,904
A beautiful lady like you can have

161
00:06:59,905 --> 00:07:01,652
any guy she wants, needs a challenge.

162
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:02,733
See, it's talk like that

163
00:07:02,746 --> 00:07:04,583
that makes me want to go after you again.

164
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,678
But there's this guy Dave. He's a handyman.

165
00:07:07,679 --> 00:07:09,194
He's always asking me out.

166
00:07:09,469 --> 00:07:11,234
Maybe I'll take him up on it.

167
00:07:11,354 --> 00:07:12,693
Well, he does sound attainable.

168
00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:14,914
- [bell dings]
- Ooh.

169
00:07:16,412 --> 00:07:18,236
Another emergency council meeting.

170
00:07:18,245 --> 00:07:20,041
- Should we head over?
- You know, you go ahead.

171
00:07:20,062 --> 00:07:22,841
- I got something I gotta do first.
- Oh, okay.

172
00:07:26,789 --> 00:07:28,150
(Schmidt) First, a congregant.

173
00:07:28,166 --> 00:07:30,182
Then our very own pastor!

174
00:07:30,195 --> 00:07:31,803
They are targeting Lutherans.

175
00:07:31,825 --> 00:07:34,278
This is a hate crime
and our church is right

176
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:36,700
in the center of it. We must respond.

177
00:07:36,718 --> 00:07:38,660
Shouldn't we just let
the police do their thing?

178
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,432
The community is looking
to us for leadership,

179
00:07:41,463 --> 00:07:45,383
Russell, and by gum, we're
gonna lead or die trying!

180
00:07:46,643 --> 00:07:48,110
What the hell does that mean?

181
00:07:48,351 --> 00:07:50,717
I'm down with the leading,
not so much the dying.

182
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:54,380
All right, too far, but
we must act like Dora.

183
00:07:54,462 --> 00:07:56,121
You proved yourself a heroine.

184
00:07:56,139 --> 00:07:57,854
Oh, I just did what any

185
00:07:57,881 --> 00:07:59,699
prodigy-level archeress would do.

186
00:07:59,717 --> 00:08:01,958
Well, tomorrow, when people
arrive for Sunday service,

187
00:08:01,975 --> 00:08:03,740
I want you to stand outside that church

188
00:08:03,761 --> 00:08:04,766
with your bow and arrow.

189
00:08:04,797 --> 00:08:06,756
We'll show that hooligan he's messed

190
00:08:06,773 --> 00:08:08,091
with the wrong denomination.

191
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:09,598
(Alexa) You'll be our symbol.

192
00:08:09,599 --> 00:08:11,917
That we're mad as hell, and
we're not gonna take it anymore.

193
00:08:11,952 --> 00:08:13,148
(Schmidt) Exactly.

194
00:08:13,196 --> 00:08:15,912
- [cell phone rings]
- I... that's my daughter. I'll, um...

195
00:08:16,032 --> 00:08:17,735
you just keep chewing on this now.

196
00:08:19,676 --> 00:08:21,867
You know what she needs? A catchy nickname.

197
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,953
Guys, come on, let's not get carried away.

198
00:08:25,301 --> 00:08:26,632
What's about Dor-Rambo?

199
00:08:26,752 --> 00:08:28,878
Yes, that is totally kick ass.

200
00:08:38,071 --> 00:08:39,164
(Schmidt) You!

201
00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:41,871
Oh.

202
00:08:42,163 --> 00:08:43,872
Hey, I was just, uh...

203
00:08:43,885 --> 00:08:46,754
You told my daughter
to have sex with Gunter?

204
00:08:46,755 --> 00:08:47,556
No, no, no.

205
00:08:47,586 --> 00:08:49,329
I just said it was insane that they hadn't.

206
00:08:49,359 --> 00:08:52,444
Well, they did, and it went very poorly.

207
00:08:53,013 --> 00:08:54,671
- You were there?
- No.

208
00:08:54,891 --> 00:08:57,124
Lisa's so upset, she's
calling off the wedding.

209
00:08:57,140 --> 00:09:00,153
This is your fault and
you are gonna fix it now.

210
00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:01,132
Me?

211
00:09:01,982 --> 00:09:04,963
Well, I guess I could show 'em a few moves.

212
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:07,949
Just understand something, sir.

213
00:09:08,024 --> 00:09:11,285
This is Lisa's one chance
to get the status and respect

214
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:14,769
that comes with marriage, and
I will not let you ruin it.

215
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,790
Now, you tell her that
the sex will get better.

216
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:19,735
I'm a pastor. I'm not allowed to lie.

217
00:09:19,761 --> 00:09:23,927
You'll do whatever it takes.
We need to land this plane.

218
00:09:24,207 --> 00:09:26,049
And whatever you're doing with
that, I don't want to know.

219
00:09:26,509 --> 00:09:28,356
(Buddy voiceover) Staying
at my place was risky

220
00:09:28,563 --> 00:09:30,650
and it was my last night in Ladner

221
00:09:30,689 --> 00:09:32,307
so I figured, what the hell?

222
00:09:32,427 --> 00:09:34,127
Why not go out with a bang?

223
00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:37,639
Buddy?

224
00:09:38,134 --> 00:09:40,772
- Wow, you look great.
- Thanks.

225
00:09:40,892 --> 00:09:42,485
What are you doing here?

226
00:09:44,112 --> 00:09:46,053
Remember last night when you were all,

227
00:09:46,570 --> 00:09:48,601
"Let's make out," and stuff and I was like,

228
00:09:48,635 --> 00:09:50,814
- "No, I'm super gay."
- Yeah.

229
00:09:52,547 --> 00:09:55,157
[slow jazz music]

230
00:09:57,253 --> 00:09:58,830
(male voice) We should get going, Alexa.

231
00:10:03,065 --> 00:10:04,801
I'm kind of on a date...

232
00:10:05,734 --> 00:10:07,480
with that guy Dave I told you about.

233
00:10:07,736 --> 00:10:08,656
Oh.

234
00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:10,083
I could reschedule.

235
00:10:10,492 --> 00:10:12,235
Alexa deserved a shot at love

236
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,678
and it wasn't going to come
from a one night stand with me.

237
00:10:14,683 --> 00:10:15,565
No,

238
00:10:15,937 --> 00:10:17,454
I just needed to do that.

239
00:10:18,142 --> 00:10:21,344
To confirm that I am in fact super gay.

240
00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:22,963
And now I have.

241
00:10:23,464 --> 00:10:25,126
So that kiss wasn't good for you?

242
00:10:25,175 --> 00:10:27,714
It was, it just...

243
00:10:28,155 --> 00:10:32,949
It just would have been better
if you had whiskers and wiener.

244
00:10:33,352 --> 00:10:34,870
All right, good night.

245
00:10:35,964 --> 00:10:37,063
[rock music]

246
00:10:37,183 --> 00:10:38,436
Damn it!

247
00:10:38,734 --> 00:10:39,609
Now what?

248
00:10:39,668 --> 00:10:41,083
I couldn't go back to my place

249
00:10:41,105 --> 00:10:42,724
because that's where Damien would come.

250
00:10:42,761 --> 00:10:44,413
But who else in Ladner would be cool

251
00:10:44,418 --> 00:10:45,877
with me spending the night?

252
00:10:47,238 --> 00:10:49,853
Hey, Russell. You got
something on your face.

253
00:10:49,878 --> 00:10:52,053
Oh, Douglas and I were
just microdermabrasioning.

254
00:10:52,078 --> 00:10:52,870
What's up?

255
00:10:52,922 --> 00:10:54,036
Look,

256
00:10:54,156 --> 00:10:55,805
I just can't be alone in my house

257
00:10:55,831 --> 00:10:57,466
with that maniac still on the loose.

258
00:10:57,634 --> 00:10:59,988
I was gonna ask if I
could stay here, but if...

259
00:11:03,324 --> 00:11:04,727
We'll see you at kickball.

260
00:11:05,829 --> 00:11:06,543
Come on in.

261
00:11:11,001 --> 00:11:13,278
So, you're back.

262
00:11:13,313 --> 00:11:15,602
Yeah, thanks for letting me crash here.

263
00:11:15,899 --> 00:11:19,222
And where do you think you'll be crashing?

264
00:11:20,310 --> 00:11:21,610
Couch is good.

265
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:23,809
Buddy,

266
00:11:24,424 --> 00:11:25,862
I don't get this game you're playing.

267
00:11:25,862 --> 00:11:27,773
My heart is not a yo-yo you can just

268
00:11:27,782 --> 00:11:29,934
toss up and down and twist into that thing

269
00:11:29,951 --> 00:11:32,393
- where it dangles between the triangle.
- Rock the cradle.

270
00:11:32,394 --> 00:11:33,766
Yes, thank you.

271
00:11:34,135 --> 00:11:37,247
You're giving me mixed signals
and I demand an explanation.

272
00:11:37,888 --> 00:11:39,875
Unless you don't feel one is appropriate,

273
00:11:39,891 --> 00:11:41,549
- in which case, I take it all back.
- Russell,

274
00:11:42,087 --> 00:11:43,213
look.

275
00:11:45,055 --> 00:11:45,968
[sighs]

276
00:11:45,999 --> 00:11:47,410
I'm at a place in my life now

277
00:11:47,417 --> 00:11:48,887
where I just need a friend,

278
00:11:49,087 --> 00:11:49,958
a good friend,

279
00:11:50,078 --> 00:11:50,915
like you.

280
00:11:51,373 --> 00:11:52,138
You understand?

281
00:11:53,044 --> 00:11:54,483
- Totally.
- Good.

282
00:11:54,603 --> 00:11:56,125
You're saying your desire is there,

283
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,506
but the timing isn't right.

284
00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:59,646
Okay.

285
00:11:59,946 --> 00:12:03,150
[intense music]

286
00:12:03,151 --> 00:12:06,020
♪

287
00:12:06,021 --> 00:12:07,723
[silenced gunshots]

288
00:12:12,385 --> 00:12:14,516
Son of a bitch.

289
00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:17,899
[silenced gunshot]

290
00:12:26,022 --> 00:12:26,924
Buddy!

291
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:27,733
Ooh!

292
00:12:27,943 --> 00:12:30,643
Aren't you a jumpy Jimmy today. [Giggles]

293
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,112
Alden Schmidt's waiting
for you in your study.

294
00:12:33,232 --> 00:12:35,237
Oh, let me just go upstairs...

295
00:12:35,265 --> 00:12:36,750
Now, Pastor.

296
00:12:40,832 --> 00:12:43,056
So I heard your first time belly bumping

297
00:12:43,056 --> 00:12:44,468
didn't go so well, huh?

298
00:12:44,744 --> 00:12:46,258
It was terrible.

299
00:12:46,324 --> 00:12:49,347
No, but it gets better, right, Pastor?

300
00:12:50,098 --> 00:12:51,292
Yeah,

301
00:12:51,895 --> 00:12:54,112
maybe. Listen, here's the thing.

302
00:12:54,787 --> 00:12:57,713
I don't know if Gandalf will
ever be good in the sack.

303
00:12:57,833 --> 00:12:59,359
His name is Gunter.

304
00:12:59,875 --> 00:13:00,778
Whatever.

305
00:13:01,091 --> 00:13:02,947
But if he makes you feel special...

306
00:13:04,038 --> 00:13:05,669
If he makes your heart race,

307
00:13:06,518 --> 00:13:07,712
then go for it.

308
00:13:08,105 --> 00:13:09,268
If not,

309
00:13:09,519 --> 00:13:11,671
life's too short to live
it with the wrong person.

310
00:13:12,883 --> 00:13:13,753
Right, Alden?

311
00:13:13,754 --> 00:13:16,489
That is not what we agreed on, Pastor.

312
00:13:16,609 --> 00:13:18,458
No, Daddy, he's right.

313
00:13:18,825 --> 00:13:21,210
Gunter doesn't make me feel special.

314
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:23,520
I knew all along I was settling.

315
00:13:23,547 --> 00:13:25,843
- No, but, Lisa...
- Listen, Daddy,

316
00:13:25,871 --> 00:13:28,446
I know that you want me to get married, but

317
00:13:28,835 --> 00:13:32,609
I would rather live alone than
be trapped in some bad marriage.

318
00:13:33,174 --> 00:13:36,069
Like the Pastor said,
life's too short, right?

319
00:13:37,343 --> 00:13:39,747
[stumbles] Yeah, of course, sweetie.

320
00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:42,329
[stutters] Look, I just
want you to be happy.

321
00:13:42,553 --> 00:13:44,079
I love you, Daddy.

322
00:13:45,483 --> 00:13:48,421
[lively music]

323
00:13:48,589 --> 00:13:50,476
Bye, Alden. See you at church.

324
00:13:50,631 --> 00:13:52,091
Oh, that reminds me.

325
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:54,936
I have a new nickname to run by you.

326
00:13:55,056 --> 00:13:56,599
Now, what do you think of...

327
00:13:56,797 --> 00:13:58,217
Conquistadora?

328
00:13:58,398 --> 00:13:59,247
Hmm.

329
00:13:59,567 --> 00:14:02,992
Doesn't feel quite as sharp as Dor-Rambo.

330
00:14:03,288 --> 00:14:05,686
All right, well, either way, killer.

331
00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:07,662
The important thing is
we sell you as a warrior

332
00:14:07,676 --> 00:14:08,774
who shoots first

333
00:14:08,952 --> 00:14:10,410
and asks questions later.

334
00:14:17,312 --> 00:14:19,248
Look, I'll be out for a
while, so just put the passport

335
00:14:19,252 --> 00:14:20,759
under the back doormat.

336
00:14:21,042 --> 00:14:21,868
Thanks, Ashlee.

337
00:14:21,951 --> 00:14:24,170
Hey, time for Sunday
service. Here are your robes.

338
00:14:24,194 --> 00:14:25,202
Freshly pressed.

339
00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:26,538
Hey, would you mind helping me?

340
00:14:26,559 --> 00:14:28,461
I can never get the sashy thing even.

341
00:14:28,462 --> 00:14:29,950
Sure. Turn around.

342
00:14:30,419 --> 00:14:31,314
Buddy,

343
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:32,901
can I talk to you?

344
00:14:33,834 --> 00:14:34,444
Yeah.

345
00:14:34,489 --> 00:14:36,024
I've done something awful.

346
00:14:37,983 --> 00:14:40,496
I've let my pride get the best of me.

347
00:14:41,973 --> 00:14:44,625
You and I have different
definitions of awful.

348
00:14:45,178 --> 00:14:47,221
I got so caught up in being a hero,

349
00:14:47,247 --> 00:14:48,777
and now they want me to be this

350
00:14:49,066 --> 00:14:52,132
vigilante symbol, and, I don't
know, it doesn't feel right.

351
00:14:52,138 --> 00:14:54,630
I don't shoot first
and ask questions later.

352
00:14:54,641 --> 00:14:56,235
I ask lots of questions right upfront

353
00:14:56,252 --> 00:14:57,929
and then I make an informed decision.

354
00:14:58,242 --> 00:14:59,157
So don't do it.

355
00:14:59,219 --> 00:15:01,846
Yeah, but I don't want
to let everybody down.

356
00:15:02,094 --> 00:15:04,214
Dora, if there's one thing I have learned

357
00:15:04,231 --> 00:15:05,663
in my time as a pastor,

358
00:15:05,676 --> 00:15:07,803
it's that once you start
trying to be someone you're not,

359
00:15:08,512 --> 00:15:10,392
life get's way too complicated.

360
00:15:11,334 --> 00:15:12,777
You're better off just being you.

361
00:15:14,107 --> 00:15:16,010
You're right, as usual.

362
00:15:18,231 --> 00:15:19,415
Here you go.

363
00:15:21,682 --> 00:15:22,690
Thanks.

364
00:15:24,318 --> 00:15:25,186
Looks great.

365
00:15:25,630 --> 00:15:26,719
- Hey.
- Yeah.

366
00:15:26,774 --> 00:15:29,036
For what it's worth, in my book,

367
00:15:29,793 --> 00:15:32,372
you were a hero long before
you shot that intruder.

368
00:15:32,492 --> 00:15:33,254
Oh.

369
00:15:34,594 --> 00:15:35,811
And just so you know,

370
00:15:36,211 --> 00:15:40,182
Ladner really was a sleepy
little town before you got here.

371
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:41,790
I don't know what happened.

372
00:15:43,637 --> 00:15:46,939
[church bells]

373
00:15:46,996 --> 00:15:48,222
He's a hard one to figure out,

374
00:15:48,246 --> 00:15:50,356
- that Buddy Barlow.
- [sighs] I'll say.

375
00:15:51,065 --> 00:15:52,924
Great kisser, though.

376
00:15:54,029 --> 00:15:54,976
I imagine.

377
00:15:56,519 --> 00:15:57,500
Me too.

378
00:15:58,552 --> 00:15:59,942
Can I speak to you just for a moment?

379
00:15:59,953 --> 00:16:01,611
Yeah, sure, wha... Hey,
where's your bow and arrow?

380
00:16:01,646 --> 00:16:02,634
I didn't bring them.

381
00:16:02,644 --> 00:16:03,990
Well, I have mine in the trunk.

382
00:16:03,991 --> 00:16:04,979
- I'll go grab 'em.
- No.

383
00:16:04,993 --> 00:16:06,917
You don't understand. I don't want to pose

384
00:16:06,955 --> 00:16:08,115
in front of the church.

385
00:16:08,119 --> 00:16:09,402
Well, you don't have to pose.

386
00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:11,254
Just stand there with your bow and arrow

387
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,132
- in firing position and don't move.
- No,

388
00:16:13,344 --> 00:16:15,121
I don't want to be a symbol

389
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:16,837
for anything. You see, I just

390
00:16:17,429 --> 00:16:18,297
want to be me.

391
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:19,866
I'm sorry.

392
00:16:20,293 --> 00:16:21,818
I'm done with this.

393
00:16:22,972 --> 00:16:24,748
Lovers spat?

394
00:16:24,948 --> 00:16:27,069
How often must I tell you?

395
00:16:27,083 --> 00:16:29,775
I am not interested in Dora romantically.

396
00:16:29,895 --> 00:16:32,718
Oh, please, Alden. Spare me your lies.

397
00:16:32,719 --> 00:16:35,179
- Life is too short.
- Is everything okay?

398
00:16:35,384 --> 00:16:37,681
You're right, life is too short...

399
00:16:37,718 --> 00:16:39,424
To spend with the wrong person.

400
00:16:39,726 --> 00:16:42,876
And that is why, on
the advice of my Pastor,

401
00:16:42,996 --> 00:16:45,885
I am gonna follow my heart and I'm...

402
00:16:45,901 --> 00:16:47,867
I'm leaving you for someone.

403
00:16:47,868 --> 00:16:49,075
- You're what?
- That's right.

404
00:16:49,113 --> 00:16:52,669
Yes, she's young and vibrant and fun,

405
00:16:52,789 --> 00:16:54,530
and her name is Ashlee.

406
00:16:55,445 --> 00:16:56,672
- Ashlee?
- Yes.

407
00:16:56,792 --> 00:16:57,732
Not, like,

408
00:16:58,323 --> 00:17:00,121
- yea high?
- Yeah.

409
00:17:00,447 --> 00:17:02,592
- Blonde hair?
- Wha... yeah.

410
00:17:02,883 --> 00:17:04,542
Butterfly tattoo on the neck?

411
00:17:04,555 --> 00:17:05,954
Yeah, how... how in the...

412
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,698
You're leaving your wife for a hooker?

413
00:17:07,737 --> 00:17:10,320
How dare y... she is no such thing!

414
00:17:10,483 --> 00:17:13,186
- You told him to do this?
- No.

415
00:17:14,429 --> 00:17:15,828
Ah!

416
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:19,600
Pastor, congregation's ready for you.

417
00:17:21,027 --> 00:17:23,605
- That I may smile again before I depart...
- [phone beeps]

418
00:17:23,799 --> 00:17:25,361
And am no more.

419
00:17:25,481 --> 00:17:27,190
_

420
00:17:29,627 --> 00:17:31,309
Next up, the homily.

421
00:17:33,431 --> 00:17:36,699
Today's sermon is about...

422
00:17:39,411 --> 00:17:41,119
Jesus H. Christ.

423
00:17:44,524 --> 00:17:47,384
[intense music]

424
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,257
Jesus was a

425
00:17:49,847 --> 00:17:51,302
pretty awesome dude.

426
00:17:51,422 --> 00:17:54,591
He once said, "He that believeth in me,

427
00:17:55,062 --> 00:17:56,646
the works that I do

428
00:17:56,982 --> 00:17:59,077
he shall also do and greater."

429
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,953
I know that because it's
on the wall in my bathroom.

430
00:18:01,962 --> 00:18:02,766
[giggles]

431
00:18:02,886 --> 00:18:04,199
It's a needle point.

432
00:18:04,526 --> 00:18:06,372
- I made it.
- I think he was saying

433
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:10,500
that we don't know what we're
capable of until we're tested.

434
00:18:11,232 --> 00:18:13,173
And we could do a lot
more than we think we can.

435
00:18:13,521 --> 00:18:15,140
Nothing's forever, right?

436
00:18:15,751 --> 00:18:18,016
I mean, who knows how
long we're gonna be here?

437
00:18:18,537 --> 00:18:20,219
I might be gone tomorrow.

438
00:18:20,835 --> 00:18:22,501
So could any of you.

439
00:18:23,366 --> 00:18:25,242
So, like Jesus, we have to make the most

440
00:18:25,264 --> 00:18:27,063
of our time here on Earth.

441
00:18:27,777 --> 00:18:28,531
Now,

442
00:18:29,198 --> 00:18:31,828
I know I've only been
in Ladner a short while,

443
00:18:32,655 --> 00:18:33,425
but...

444
00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:37,246
you all have become my family.

445
00:18:37,539 --> 00:18:39,305
So let me leave you with this:

446
00:18:40,346 --> 00:18:41,953
Enjoy the little things.

447
00:18:42,564 --> 00:18:44,329
Be good to your fellow man.

448
00:18:45,565 --> 00:18:47,104
Be grateful

449
00:18:47,490 --> 00:18:49,014
for fun times.

450
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,846
And, most importantly, remember...

451
00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:56,709
Thou shalt not kill.

452
00:19:01,051 --> 00:19:02,283
You know what?

453
00:19:03,203 --> 00:19:04,661
Stand up.

454
00:19:06,672 --> 00:19:09,614
Instead of our regular handshake routine,

455
00:19:10,114 --> 00:19:11,365
let's hug it out.

456
00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:12,558
Hug your neighbor.

457
00:19:12,854 --> 00:19:14,919
Hang on to them! Don't let go.

458
00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:16,740
I gotta hit the can.

459
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,576
Start playing and don't
stop 'til I get back.

460
00:19:19,738 --> 00:19:22,579
[church music]

461
00:19:22,580 --> 00:19:26,216
♪

462
00:19:26,747 --> 00:19:28,937
[electronic music]

463
00:19:29,057 --> 00:19:31,491
- [church music]
- Damn it!

464
00:19:32,099 --> 00:19:33,062
Move.

465
00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:35,050
[electronic music]

466
00:19:35,493 --> 00:19:37,995
♪

467
00:19:38,643 --> 00:19:40,597
[car engine revs]

468
00:19:40,598 --> 00:19:43,800
♪

469
00:19:44,701 --> 00:19:45,769
(Buddy voiceover) This was it.

470
00:19:45,843 --> 00:19:48,813
I just had to grab my go
bag and my shiny new passport

471
00:19:48,837 --> 00:19:50,310
and it was, "Adios, Ladner."

472
00:19:50,586 --> 00:19:56,846
♪

473
00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:00,317
- [tires squealing]
- [car horns]

474
00:20:00,927 --> 00:20:03,553
[church music]

475
00:20:04,209 --> 00:20:06,189
[electronic music]

476
00:20:06,786 --> 00:20:08,792
♪

477
00:20:08,977 --> 00:20:10,127
[car engine revs]

478
00:20:10,128 --> 00:20:13,597
♪

479
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:16,016
Better you than me, pal.

480
00:20:16,567 --> 00:20:18,202
[exhales]

481
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,295
Buddy Dobbs?

482
00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:27,323
You're under arrest for the
murder of Jonathan Barlow.

483
00:20:27,346 --> 00:20:29,223
[organ music]

484
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:30,805
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -