Hello, citizens.
Me see no trouble.
Me world am good.
Man in danger.
Me save you.
You be okay now.
Oh, well. Me save more people tomorrow.
Hello, Superman.
Hello, Mama.
Hello, Da-da.
Hello, Luthor.
Lois.
Me love Lois' funny head-trick.
Krypto.
Daddy home.
Funny Krypto.
Daddy love you too.
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
Another day complete.
Time to relax.
Reruns again.
This is so sad.
I can't take it anymore.
Who there? Where am voice from?
The greatest hero in the universe...
...reduced to saving rocks and playing house.
If I'd stayed quiet one more second...
...I'd need a colossal barf bag.
You funny, little big-head man.
Mr. Mxyzptlk, at your service.
Mr. Mzzy-Plzzy?
Don't bother. You'll give yourself a hernia.
Just think of me as your guardian angel.
You see, Rocky, I've had my eye on you for a while.
And, brother, did you get a raw deal from that lunkhead Superman.
But Superman am friend.
He give me planet to protect.
Wrongo.
Superman played you for a chump, chum.
The real reason he stuck you here was to get rid of you.
He was jealous of your great powers...
...and couldn't stand the competition.
See? Out of Earth, out of mind.
Wanna see what your pal really thinks of you?
Look at me.
Me am Bizarro.
Me great big dummy.
Them no laugh at me.
Me make Superman pay.
No air.
Amateur.
Now, you were saying?
Me make Superman pay.
That's my boy.
Where am Superman?
Where am Super--?
Where am Superman?
Not here. Honest.
Listen, Rock, I'm just spitballing here...
...but something inside me says:
"What about that place? "
Me try there.
Yeah, I figured.
Oh, and one other thing.
-Listen to this. -What?
Some maniac in a Superman costume just smashed up Mandel's Department Store.
If I didn't know better, I'd say it sounded like--
Where am Superman?
-Bizarro? -Bizarro?
Lois.
-Let go. -Why you laugh at me?
Me thought you my friend.
Now, I'm sure we can settle this calmly.
Go away!
-Clark! -No, Clark.
First, Lois answer to me.
Look, I'm sure if we all just calm down and talk this over....
You no laugh at me again.
I wondered who was pushing reporters out of windows.
-Clark. Is he--? -A little shaken up, but he's fine.
Now it's my turn to ask questions.
All right, Bizarro. How did you get here and what do you want?
Oh, I don't think he's in a mood to talk.
Why you not laugh now?
Out of my way, road hog.
Mxyzptlk? I thought you promised to stay away from Earth forever.
No, no, no. I only said I wouldn't come back and bother you.
And I'm not. Old rock-head here is.
And I can guess who got him riled up.
Well, I may have said a word or two in passing...
...but you really can't blame me for--
I should be selling this to cable.
As you can see, humankind has come a long way from its primitive roots.
Once a savage beast, man is now a civilized creature.
Pardon me, citizen.
This is great.
Mxy.
Hiya, Gspie.
You're just in time to see the fun.
-Popcorn? -Baby, you know you shouldn't be here.
If the tribunal hears what you've done--
What do those schmoes care?
I ain't done nothing wrong.
Nothing wrong?
Try lying, tampering with humans...
...breaking inter-dimensional law for the umpteen-millionth time--
Lighten up, sweets.
I'm just having some laughs.
Hey, 10 bucks says Bizboy mops the floor with Superhead.
You in?
The leaders aren't gonna like this.
Like they'll ever find out.
Hey.
What gives?
Mr. Mxyzptlk.
Oh, nuts.
You have been accused of breaking the inter-dimensional law...
...maliciously torturing members of a less-advanced species...
...and most heinously...
...going back on your word.
Was that wrong?
Such conduct is completely unbecoming...
...to the superior beings of the fifth-dimensional land of Zrfff.
If it please Your Honor, I present documented proof...
...the defendant suffers from a chronic psychological fixation...
...and should not be considered accountable for his actions.
-Go, girl. -Furthermore--
Silence.
Gspie?
I'm dead.
Look, guys, what the tree here said is right.
I can't help if I keep goofing on that big lox Superman.
It's what I do.
I don't need punishment.
I need understanding.
You know how it is.
Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly.
I've gotta bug that jerk, till I die.
Or he does.
Oh, yeah, Mr. Big Shot.
Mr. Truth-Justice-and-the-American-Way.
He's a bug, you hear me!
A bug!
He sickens me.
Enough. Because you are determined...
...to repeatedly invade the third dimension...
...this tribunal sentences you to stay there...
...for no less than one dimensional interphase.
Fine by me.
Twenty minutes and I'll be running the joint.
Without your powers.
-What? -lf, after 90 days...
...you have performed one good deed for the beings...
...you once tortured, you'll be reinstated.
That is all.
No, wait!
You can't!
Mxy.
Fine. So I don't have powers. So what?
It'll be worth it to see Superdupe get his.
I'm laughing at you. You hear?
Laughing.
Say, where is Blueboy anyhoo?
You've got to listen to me.
So you trick me like before?
Send me away again?
Oh, I don't feel so good.
But it's still worth it.
Listen to me, my friend.
Mxy's playing you for a fool.
Little big-head man my friend.
Him say you enemy.
Him lie like rug.
-Trust me. -No!
Secure the area.
Now me am world's greatest hero.
Fire.
Why you attack?
Me am hero.
Now. Before he recovers.
Fire.
I hope I ain't missed the massacre.
Whoa, Rocky. Where you going?
Supershlub's that way.
Why bad men shoot at me?
Hey, easy on the material, Frankenstein.
Send bad men away, Little Big-Head.
Send them away.
I'd love to help you, Rocky, but power-wise, my tank is dry.
No!
Send them away!
-Do it! -Kltpzyxm. Kltpzyxm.
Oh, mama, this was a bad idea.
Give him another.
One more blast and he's dust.
I guess there's no other option.
Do it.
Hold your fire.
-You okay? -That thing's got a kick.
You save me.
-Why? -Because I knew Mxy tricked you.
If it makes you feel better, he's done it to me. A lot.
Now do you believe I'm not your enemy?
Sorry.
I accept your apology.
And just to prove there are no hard feelings....
-What this? -A peace offering.
Peaceful.
That'll keep him quiet till I can fly him home.
Kltpzyxm. Kltpzyxm.
And you better split too, if you know what's good for you.
Sorry, Super. The wet blankets that run my dimension...
...said I gotta perform a good deed before they let me back.
In other words, three months of community service.
Yeah.
So press your cape?
Actually, I have something more constructive in mind.
Hello, citizens.
It good to be back.
World am safe.
Me see no trouble.
Me say, me see no trouble.
I heard you the first time.
Okay, let her rip!
Watch it, you big jerk!
Three months of this? I don't think so.
I quit.
Nice doggy! Heel!
Play dead! Help!
Life am good.
[ENGLlSH]