1
00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:08,907
I looked it up online. It's hemorrhoids.
2
00:00:11,611 --> 00:00:12,873
Hmm.
3
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,008
That's your diagnosis?
4
00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:18,078
Who should we listen to?
5
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,381
The doctor, or the guy with the inflamed ass
6
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:22,444
and the Internet connection? Hmm.
7
00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:26,122
All right, WebMD-bag.
8
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:32,124
Based on your symptoms,
I'm recommending a colonoscopy.
9
00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:33,562
What? Colonoscopy?
10
00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:36,932
Hey, relax with the upsell, buddy.
It's a hemorrhoid.
11
00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:38,937
(MOCKINGLY) "It's a hemorrhoid, uh."
12
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,299
You would know,
since your head's up your ass.
13
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:43,603
(LAUGHS)
14
00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:45,804
That was a good one. Hold on a second.
15
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:49,443
Go to hell! It's just a little hemorrhoid!
16
00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:53,048
(MOCKINGLY) "Go to hell!
It's just a little hemorrhoid!"
17
00:00:53,119 --> 00:00:54,586
(LAUGHS) Man, I love that guy.
18
00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:56,077
DR. KEN: Oh, my God.
19
00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:59,057
I'm so stressed out.
20
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:02,125
These patients are such whiny,
complaining bitches.
21
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:04,886
You know what I mean?
22
00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:07,099
Yes, I know exactly what you mean.
23
00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:11,029
Um, what do you think
might alleviate your stress?
24
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:13,171
Well, for starters, my wife could help.
25
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:14,263
In what way?
26
00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:16,934
Well, she could conduct
the rest of this session with her top off.
27
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:18,477
We could see where it goes.
28
00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:21,409
I only do that for paying customers.
29
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:26,043
You have change for a five?
30
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:28,644
(TELEPHONE BEEPS)
31
00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:30,518
- NINA: (ON INTERCOM) Dr. Park?
- BOTH: Yes?
32
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,387
Your 5:15 is running late.
33
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:33,483
Thank you, Nina.
34
00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:36,388
Ken, what is wrong with you?
35
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,897
You know, Molly's got her
driver's test today,
36
00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:41,091
and I'm, like, so nervous.
37
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,101
What if she doesn't fail?
38
00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:46,696
(SIGHS) Look at her.
39
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,907
She's our baby girl,
and cars are death machines.
40
00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:54,110
You said the same thing about
tricycles, seesaws, and puppies.
41
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:58,512
Puppies grow up to be dogs,
dogs eventually die.
42
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:02,346
Broken heart, drug abuse,
prostitution, death.
43
00:02:03,356 --> 00:02:04,380
Wow.
44
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,322
The day I got my license, I was so excited.
45
00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:10,851
I was waving to a buddy,
and I drove straight into a parked car.
46
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:12,823
But she's not you.
47
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,968
I know. She's like me but popular.
48
00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:20,832
We have the same number of hands,
but she has way more people to wave to.
49
00:02:21,941 --> 00:02:24,136
She's growing up.
We got to give her some freedom.
50
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,005
Kids don't need freedom. They need...
51
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:28,104
(SIGHS) What's the opposite
of freedom? Duct tape!
52
00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:31,676
They need to be taped down.
53
00:02:31,751 --> 00:02:33,241
Oh, my God.
54
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,479
You sound like your father.
55
00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:37,318
(LAUGHS) No, I don't.
My father sounds like this.
56
00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:40,417
(SHOUTS IN KOREAN)
57
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,655
Which means?
58
00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:45,921
(IN KOREAN ACCENT)
"Tape down, child cannot run!"
59
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,396
Okay, come on.
60
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:50,595
Mama's got to work.
61
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:53,035
- (ALLISON GIGGLES)
- Love you.
62
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:54,539
Oh, I'm sorry.
63
00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:55,938
It's all right, Mr. Kantos. Come on in.
64
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,275
Just talk about your kids a lot.
65
00:02:58,344 --> 00:02:59,470
Gets her super turned-on.
66
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:06,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
67
00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:10,347
Hey, buddy. What you got going on?
68
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:11,615
I'm rehearsing.
69
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,716
Oh, right, right. Big talent show.
70
00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,351
Lay it on me. (CHUCKLES)
71
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:16,786
(MUSIC PLAYS FROM SPEAKERS)
72
00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:19,396
- Get ready 'cause I've had enough
- Ooh, Katy Perry.
73
00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:21,865
Sexy yet kid-friendly. (CHUCKLES)
74
00:03:22,302 --> 00:03:26,363
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter...
75
00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:28,873
Oh, good God! Is that mime?
76
00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:31,433
Oh, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!
77
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:35,009
Um, Dave, I...
78
00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:40,448
And now you're in a box? Really?
79
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:43,916
Dave?
80
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:48,325
Every kid does one thing
in school that they're defined by,
81
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,885
and you really don't want yours to be mime,
82
00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:56,701
because that is an invisible box
that you cannot get out of.
83
00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:00,872
Oh, you showed Dad your mime act?
84
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:02,874
Yeah, and he thinks it's lame.
85
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:06,910
Dave, I don't think it's lame.
I know it's lame.
86
00:04:08,114 --> 00:04:11,015
I am so proud of your originality, honey.
87
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,282
Why don't you go practice upstairs?
88
00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:14,684
Oh, forgot my box.
89
00:04:14,954 --> 00:04:15,943
(GRUNTS)
90
00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:19,187
Need a hand with that, buddy?
91
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,386
No, Dad. It's imaginary.
92
00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:25,554
Come on, Alli. We can't just let this happen.
93
00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:26,997
We gotta protect him.
94
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:30,432
We gotta support him.
And this is what he wants to do.
95
00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:32,027
It's mime!
96
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:35,538
You know what the audience
is gonna want to do?
97
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,510
(GROANING)
98
00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:55,951
Suck it, Los Angeles!
99
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,860
Your traffic just got a little worse!
100
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,023
Oh, you passed!
101
00:05:00,099 --> 00:05:01,088
Yay.
102
00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:04,396
Thanks for being happy for me, Dad.
103
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:07,871
Oh, Molly, if it seems like I'm not happy,
it's only because I'm not.
104
00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:11,773
Of course your Dad is happy.
105
00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:13,277
I'm not. I'm really not.
106
00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:17,273
Okay, if you can't be happy,
can you be quiet? How about that?
107
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:23,053
Anyway, I was thinking, tomorrow night,
I should probably take Dad's convertible.
108
00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:24,111
Thanks, Dad!
109
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:26,624
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You can't have my car. I need it.
110
00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:28,318
Mom,
111
00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:30,662
is it cool if I take your car tomorrow night?
112
00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:32,526
- Sure. I think there's...
- No, need that one, too.
113
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:35,460
You need two cars?
114
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:37,134
Yeah, I'm having a...
115
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:38,659
parade.
116
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:40,995
Ugh!
117
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:42,234
Thanks a lot, Dad.
118
00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:43,933
(CHUCKLES)
119
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,166
What?
120
00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:48,378
I spend all day listening
to those damaged nut jobs
121
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:51,349
on that couch telling me all the ways
their parents screwed them up.
122
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,552
Molly's growing up, Ken.
123
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:56,347
Rip off the duct tape,
or you're gonna lose her.
124
00:05:58,057 --> 00:05:59,684
Fine, I'll try it your way.
125
00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:02,761
You're right. I love these kids.
I would never do anything to scar them.
126
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:04,554
Hey, Dad, want to...
127
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,188
Not now, son. A little busy.
128
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,598
Hey, you know what?
You can borrow my car tomorrow night.
129
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:13,298
Really? What about the parade?
130
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:16,535
Well, they're expecting rain, and...
131
00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:19,269
It was fake, so...
132
00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:21,402
Thanks, Dad.
133
00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:22,912
On three conditions.
134
00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:25,678
Number one, no texting while driving.
135
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:29,552
Why would I increase
my chances of an accident by 46%?
136
00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:34,388
And the rearview mirror
isn't for applying makeup,
137
00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:35,825
it's for safety.
138
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:38,159
True, but you can't just
rely on the rearview.
139
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:41,064
You have to turn around. Blind spots. Duh.
140
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:44,361
Okay, okay.
141
00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:46,836
Here's something they don't
teach you in Driver's Ed.
142
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:51,206
If you see a friend while driving,
do not, under any circumstances, wave.
143
00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:54,412
Dad, please, no one waves anymore.
144
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:55,636
- Really?
- No.
145
00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:58,381
Hmm. (STUTTERING) I did not know that.
146
00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:01,308
Um...
147
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:05,389
(STRAINING) Uh, where are
you going tomorrow night?
148
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,390
Oh, just... Studying over at Avery's.
149
00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:10,488
Avery, huh? What happened to Tammy?
150
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,993
Uh, Tammy's Tammy, but Avery is Avery,
151
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:14,498
and Tammy could never be Avery,
but if Avery wanted,
152
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,899
she could easily be Tammy,
like, nine times over.
153
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,404
Okay, why would Avery want to be Tammy?
154
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:26,442
No, Dad, no one wants to be Tammy,
except Whitney. Ugh.
155
00:07:31,984 --> 00:07:35,317
So, Allison was all like,
"We got to lock her down!"
156
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:39,290
And I was like, "No, we got
to give her some freedom."
157
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,594
There is no way it went down like that.
158
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:44,526
She's right.
159
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:48,260
Look, I did give Molly the car,
but it is killing me.
160
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:51,735
Oh, don't let it, Dr. Park.
Molly seems like a good kid.
161
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:52,998
You're right. She is.
162
00:07:53,072 --> 00:07:55,632
She's just going to a friend's
house to study. No bigs.
163
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:58,708
"Friend's house to study"? Mmm-hmm.
164
00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:01,011
What? You don't believe
that's where she's going?
165
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,014
Oh, no, that's every girl's dream.
166
00:08:03,082 --> 00:08:06,245
To get her license so she can drive
to her friend's house to study.
167
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,185
She's right.
168
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:11,689
When I got my license,
I drove straight from the DMV
169
00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:14,555
to Varsha Patel's house
to crush some calculus.
170
00:08:16,362 --> 00:08:18,887
(LAUGHING) We were so crazy back then.
171
00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:22,893
Well, I trust my daughter,
172
00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:25,199
and if she says she's studying,
that's where she is.
173
00:08:25,271 --> 00:08:29,139
Aw, that is so sweet!
Did you see that episode of 20/20?
174
00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:31,005
Where that girl borrowed
a car and got abducted?
175
00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:32,403
Yes!
176
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,639
Or that Nightline where
the little 15-year-old girl
177
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:37,080
gets all mixed up in some
crazy stuff on Craigslist?
178
00:08:37,149 --> 00:08:38,138
Yes!
179
00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:41,448
Or literally any episode of Law & Order: SVU.
180
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,852
Yes!
181
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:48,387
Wait, guys, I know that
there are some disturbing
182
00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:50,962
and repetitive shows out there,
183
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,590
but Dr. Park doesn't have
proof that his daughter
184
00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:55,190
isn't where she said she is.
185
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:57,828
If it's proof he wants,
there is an app for that.
186
00:08:57,904 --> 00:08:59,872
- An app?
- An app to track your daughter.
187
00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:01,964
- Really? What's it called?
- "Daughter Tracker."
188
00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:05,801
You want me to download it for you?
189
00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:09,011
I... I don't know, all right?
190
00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,379
I promised Allison I'd trust Molly.
191
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:13,680
You know, but she has been
hanging out with Avery,
192
00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:17,120
who may or may not be Tammy.
Or possibly Whitney!
193
00:09:19,091 --> 00:09:21,218
I mean, I guess it would be
good to know where she is.
194
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,125
Oh, no, no, Dr. Ken!
195
00:09:23,195 --> 00:09:25,959
If she finds out that you're
secretly tracking her whereabouts,
196
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:28,227
she will never trust you again.
197
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,792
Yeah, it is nice to have
a daughter who trusts you.
198
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,667
- Thank you.
- You know what else is nice?
199
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,603
Having a daughter who's alive!
200
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,543
- Download it.
- No, no, don't! It's wrong!
201
00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:39,600
I can't do it.
202
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:41,839
Oh, thank God! Someone with a conscience!
203
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,575
I need your passcode.
204
00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:51,917
Does it say anything yet?
205
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:54,585
It looks like she's in
a storage container headed for Thailand!
206
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:57,060
- What?
- Just messing with you!
207
00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:58,721
It's still downloading.
208
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:01,326
Ken.
209
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:04,494
Could I steal you for a quick powwow?
210
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,196
And, everybody else,
if you could just pretend
211
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:09,469
to be busy
while you listen in, that'd be super.
212
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,601
Hey, Ken, do you remember that
patient you offended yesterday?
213
00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:17,247
You know, the gentleman
with the buttocks circumstance
214
00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:18,943
who's now threatening to sue the HMO?
215
00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:20,679
Whoa, whoa! He's threatening to sue?
216
00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:22,812
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't say as I blame him.
217
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,355
I mean, I saw the tape.
218
00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:27,790
Oh, FYI, we've installed
security cameras throughout the clinic.
219
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:30,988
It's gonna save us $5 million
on malpractice premiums this decade alone.
220
00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:33,156
$5 million? What do we get with all that?
221
00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:34,256
Nothing.
222
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,527
Anywho, speaking of malpractice...
223
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:40,303
Pat, the man needs a colonoscopy.
224
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:44,240
With no due respect,
you're an administrator, not a doctor.
225
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,334
Damn right, I'm not.
226
00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:48,272
While you were wasting
eight years of your life in medical school,
227
00:10:48,347 --> 00:10:51,908
I was managing
three Circuit City's to record profits.
228
00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:54,977
"The Mayor" is what some called me.
229
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:58,584
You know, because it's a city.
Circuit City, you know?
230
00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:01,288
And the mayor's in charge of the city, so...
231
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:02,884
Well, you know, the point is, Ken,
232
00:11:04,096 --> 00:11:06,621
that if we lose money,
you will not have the resources you need
233
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:07,757
to treat your patients.
234
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,061
And I'm assuming no diversity brunch.
235
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:12,297
Damona, I know you want
to have a diversity brunch,
236
00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:14,100
but, let's face it, you're in the minority.
237
00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:17,698
And I will give you two extra vacation days
238
00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:19,176
if you don't report that.
239
00:11:20,312 --> 00:11:21,301
All right.
240
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,174
And you are going
to apologize to the customer
241
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,740
until he agrees to drop the lawsuit.
242
00:11:25,818 --> 00:11:27,718
- And if I don't?
- Then I will finally have grounds
243
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,277
to fire your tiny, Asian ass.
244
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:34,325
Okay, two more vacation days for everybody.
245
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:38,255
What are you gonna do?
246
00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:39,957
I'm not apologizing to anyone.
247
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,466
If anything, Pat should be apologizing to us.
248
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:43,559
Spying on people?
249
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,536
That is oppressive and intrusive.
250
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,304
Unless it's your own daughter?
251
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,034
Julie, no one wants to hear
your valid point right now.
252
00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:52,034
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
253
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:53,669
Ah! App's downloaded.
254
00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:55,540
Ah!
255
00:11:55,614 --> 00:11:57,878
Molly is at...
256
00:11:58,350 --> 00:12:01,114
Avery's house, where she said she'd be.
257
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,586
I always said you should've trusted her.
Very disrespectful.
258
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:06,489
You a hot mess.
259
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,527
Hey, honey.
260
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:13,996
- Hey!
- (DOOR CLICKS SHUT)
261
00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:17,231
So, it's just the three of us for dinner.
262
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:18,531
Molly's over at Avery's.
263
00:12:18,637 --> 00:12:21,367
Whoa, whoa, look at you
keeping tabs on her. (SCOFFS)
264
00:12:23,342 --> 00:12:26,106
I mean, give a girl
some freedom, yo. (CHUCKLES)
265
00:12:26,645 --> 00:12:28,772
You're actually doing it.
266
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:31,783
You're letting go. I am so proud of you.
267
00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:33,819
And you know who I have to thank?
268
00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,581
My super-hot therapist.
269
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:38,919
You mean the one that does
those topless sessions?
270
00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:41,026
Really? For the reals?
271
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:43,388
- Why not?
- Ah! This is gonna be good!
272
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:44,656
I had a light lunch!
273
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:45,788
Oh.
274
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:46,854
(BOTH LAUGH)
275
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:48,832
- (CELL PHONE BEEPS)
- Oh, that's your phone.
276
00:12:48,901 --> 00:12:50,960
- Nah, I'll take it later.
- No, no, it could be important.
277
00:12:51,036 --> 00:12:53,095
I know, but, you know, I'm already over here.
278
00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:55,902
Ken, don't be silly. I'll get it for you.
279
00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:59,000
No, no, no! (SCREAMS)
280
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,079
What's going on?
281
00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:07,242
Allison, I'm not gonna lie to you.
282
00:13:07,319 --> 00:13:09,947
I'm having several extramarital affairs.
283
00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:13,783
No! Don't! No, it's just
gonna break your heart!
284
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:15,053
I'm nailing all your friends!
285
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,320
"Daughter Tracker?"
286
00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:19,955
It's not what it sounds like.
287
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:21,829
It tracks prostitutes.
288
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:27,029
And every prostitute is someone's daughter.
289
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:33,843
Oh, my God!
290
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:36,939
It's like you're physically
incapable of trust.
291
00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:39,050
Look, I know Molly's smart...
292
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:40,745
I'm not talking about Molly.
293
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,685
This means you don't trust me.
294
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:44,245
I know how to parent, Ken.
295
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,553
It's not something we can do
behind each other's backs.
296
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:49,357
- Allison, I didn't mean to...
- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)
297
00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:51,891
A-ha!
298
00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:53,761
Molly's not at Avery's anymore.
299
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:56,027
- She's downtown!
- So?
300
00:13:56,101 --> 00:13:58,069
You know what happens downtown.
301
00:13:58,137 --> 00:13:59,900
Bad things, Allison.
302
00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:05,606
Skid row, strip clubs,
and the parking's impossible.
303
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:11,412
- Come on. Let's find her.
- Absolutely not.
304
00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:12,677
We're gonna wait till Molly gets home
305
00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:14,150
and then hear what she has to say.
306
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:17,245
No, your hippie, new-age approach
has gotten us nowhere.
307
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:19,689
This calls for my bad-boy ways, yo!
308
00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:22,485
I'm going to get in the minivan,
309
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:24,426
drive nine miles above the speed limit,
310
00:14:24,496 --> 00:14:27,226
and give our daughter
the grounding of a lifetime.
311
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:33,967
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
312
00:14:37,142 --> 00:14:39,042
God, this is a rave. She's at a rave!
313
00:14:39,111 --> 00:14:41,102
Okay, you know you're
not getting in this club.
314
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:42,976
- What do you mean?
- Well, not in those clothes, you're not.
315
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,539
Step one, you gotta dress the part.
316
00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:47,808
Hey!
317
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,886
- Perfect.
- This is hopeless.
318
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:53,288
You're right. Should we just get dinner?
319
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,957
- No! My daughter's in there.
- Right, right.
320
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:59,395
Okay, so there is only one thing left to do.
321
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:01,365
Grease. The bouncer.
322
00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:05,360
For you.
323
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:08,535
(WHISPERS) It's a bribe.
324
00:15:08,807 --> 00:15:09,796
Oh, I know.
325
00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:13,337
You're still not getting in, but thanks.
326
00:15:14,213 --> 00:15:15,578
Do you know who this is?
327
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,014
This is Dr. Kendrick Park,
328
00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:21,177
also known as the number-three
general practitioner
329
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,948
in the San Fernando Valley.
330
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:24,686
You really a doctor, man?
331
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:25,814
Yep.
332
00:15:25,891 --> 00:15:27,222
'Cause I hurt my shoulder
333
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:28,987
punching a guy in the face last night,
334
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:30,722
and now it's making kind of a clicking sound.
335
00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:32,127
Did I mess something up?
336
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:33,925
No, it's just mild bursitis.
337
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:35,762
You didn't tear a rotator cuff or anything.
338
00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:37,665
Ice, anti-inflammatories,
339
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,533
oh, and next time you punch faces,
340
00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:40,935
just try to jab more.
341
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:42,337
(SCREAMS)
342
00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:44,069
Less disruptive on the joint.
343
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:46,441
All right, all right. Go on in, doc.
344
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,039
Thank you so much.
345
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:50,003
Thank you, man.
346
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:51,305
Nope.
347
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:53,985
(DANCE MUSIC BLARING)
348
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:56,286
DR. KEN: Molly!
349
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,355
Excuse me. Have you seen my...
350
00:15:58,424 --> 00:15:59,413
I love you!
351
00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:00,822
What you're experiencing is not love.
352
00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:02,417
It's a massive release of serotonin
353
00:16:02,494 --> 00:16:04,587
and other monoamine
transmitters in your blood stream,
354
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,392
whereas real love is a struggle,
355
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:08,831
an unending chess match
between two opposites
356
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,631
constantly jockeying for control
of their children and each other.
357
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:12,693
That is love!
358
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:15,431
You are my spirit animal!
359
00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:16,940
Good luck with that.
360
00:16:17,009 --> 00:16:18,704
Have you seen a girl named Molly?
361
00:16:18,777 --> 00:16:20,039
Have you seen my daughter?
362
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:21,409
Molly!
363
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,845
My daughter is somewhere!
364
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,813
- (MUSIC STOPS)
- Have you seen a girl named Molly? Seen...
365
00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:26,544
(MUSIC RESUMES)
366
00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:30,252
Molly! I need to find Molly right now!
367
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:31,550
Hey, you looking for molly?
368
00:16:31,623 --> 00:16:33,215
- Yes, please!
- It's gonna cost you.
369
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:34,350
Seriously?
370
00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:35,654
You want molly or not?
371
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:38,587
Here. This is all the money I have.
372
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:39,653
Where is she?
373
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,461
She's right... Here.
374
00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:42,693
(SHOUTING) What?
375
00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:44,429
You're under arrest
for attempting to purchase
376
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,767
pure MDMA, AKA molly.
377
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:50,434
(SHOUTING) Ecstasy? Do I look like someone
who would take drugs?
378
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:00,477
What are you in for?
379
00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:02,543
My daughter has the same name
380
00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:04,248
as a Class-A controlled substance.
381
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:06,788
Ah! Cocaine!
382
00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:10,488
It's a beautiful name. Very unique.
383
00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:13,788
Oh, Molly, are you okay?
384
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:15,193
Better than you.
385
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:17,733
(LAUGHS)
386
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:20,966
Boy, did I let this one
slip away from me, huh?
387
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,941
I mean, today started out so normal!
388
00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:25,773
Oh, man!
389
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,278
Uh, even when I'm right, I'm wrong.
390
00:17:29,481 --> 00:17:30,675
You weren't right.
391
00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:31,773
She never went to the rave.
392
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:33,044
- What?
- I was gonna go.
393
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:34,277
A-ha!
394
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,183
- But I couldn't do it.
- A-ha!
395
00:17:38,023 --> 00:17:41,151
Avery went. I lent her my jacket,
and left my phone in the pocket.
396
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,591
Classic Avery.
397
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,597
I just worry, and I never want anything
398
00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:48,860
to happen to my little girl.
399
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,337
Your father loves you very much, Cocaine.
400
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,603
Okay, why don't you two
wait over by the sleeping drunk?
401
00:17:57,676 --> 00:17:59,075
- Can we touch him?
- No.
402
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:01,904
(SIGHS)
403
00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:06,046
Okay, full disclosure,
I'm not nailing all your friends.
404
00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:10,386
Although I do think about Mary a lot.
405
00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:16,022
I know that was out loud,
so I'm sorry for that.
406
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,084
Um...
407
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,086
Um...
408
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:21,632
But you were right.
From now on, we're a team.
409
00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:25,061
I know we have very,
very different approaches,
410
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,968
but it can't be us against each other.
411
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:28,028
Absolutely.
412
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:29,698
It's got to be us against them.
413
00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:32,071
I mean, the little one is fine,
414
00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:34,476
but the one with the license
scares the crap out of me.
415
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:35,973
(CHUCKLES)
416
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:38,977
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
417
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,107
Oh!
418
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,344
Mmm.
419
00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:43,445
This just feels right.
420
00:18:49,928 --> 00:18:51,020
(APPLAUDING)
421
00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:53,792
All right. All right. Very funny.
422
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,629
Okay, back to work.
423
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:56,690
You all had your fun.
424
00:18:56,768 --> 00:18:58,429
Indeed we have.
425
00:18:58,504 --> 00:19:01,200
Oh, and speaking of fun, look who's here,
426
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,634
undoubtedly for his apology.
427
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:09,470
Um, circumstances in my personal life...
428
00:19:09,548 --> 00:19:10,879
DAMONA: He did time.
429
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:20,022
Have led me to realize
that, on rare occasions,
430
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:21,150
I can be wrong.
431
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:22,386
Actually, you were right.
432
00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:23,792
Of course I was. I'm never wrong.
433
00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:28,254
I ended up getting that colonoscopy
you recommended.
434
00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:30,899
Turns out, I had a pre-malignant polyp,
435
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:33,668
which they removed, but the specialist said
436
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:36,139
that if I had waited,
it would have turned into colon cancer.
437
00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:39,736
You are a mean jerk person,
438
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:42,973
but if you hadn't been so tough on me,
439
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:46,245
I might have been a goner, so... Thanks.
440
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,548
Hey, man, stay healthy.
441
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,520
(BOTH MIMIC EXPLOSION)
442
00:19:56,461 --> 00:19:57,450
(DOOR CLOSES)
443
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,429
Looks like you can't fire me now.
444
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:02,794
God, I miss Circuit City.
445
00:20:04,736 --> 00:20:06,101
I was the mayor, you know?
446
00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:09,971
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
447
00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:14,738
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
448
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:16,881
Dancing through the fire
449
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:19,213
(CHUCKLES) It's not good, is it?
450
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:20,876
(LAUGHS) No, it's a train wreck.
451
00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:24,722
But you're right.
We have to give him freedom to...
452
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:25,848
- Go.
- On it.
453
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:30,392
Okay, DJ, back it up one time.
454
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:32,755
'Cause y'all about to be blessed.
455
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:34,897
Let's do this.
456
00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:40,001
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
457
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,404
Dancing through the fire
458
00:20:42,474 --> 00:20:45,375
'Cause I am a champion
459
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:49,413
And you're gonna hear me roar
460
00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:53,008
Louder, louder than a lion
461
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,986
'Cause I am a champion
462
00:20:56,054 --> 00:20:59,581
And you're gonna hear me roar
463
00:20:59,658 --> 00:21:01,785
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
464
00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:04,590
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
465
00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:06,756
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
466
00:21:06,865 --> 00:21:08,628
You're gonna hear me roar
467
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:10,530
(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
468
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:16,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll