1 00:00:00,573 --> 00:00:02,239 Adult Adam: Back in the '80s, before you could film 2 00:00:02,239 --> 00:00:03,238 a major motion picture with your phone, 3 00:00:03,406 --> 00:00:05,272 the only way to capture memories 4 00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:08,305 was with this monstrosity... the video camera. 5 00:00:08,305 --> 00:00:10,338 It was literally backbreaking work, 6 00:00:10,374 --> 00:00:12,707 but the result was always priceless. 7 00:00:12,809 --> 00:00:14,242 What's up, b-ball fans? 8 00:00:14,277 --> 00:00:16,911 Big tasty coming to you live from the drive. 9 00:00:16,980 --> 00:00:18,680 Rumor has it you like dunks. 10 00:00:18,715 --> 00:00:21,616 Well, I call this one "slam, jam, thank you, ma'am." 11 00:00:21,685 --> 00:00:24,853 All: Oh! 12 00:00:24,921 --> 00:00:26,521 "Honey, I dunked the kid." 13 00:00:26,623 --> 00:00:28,356 All: Oh! 14 00:00:28,458 --> 00:00:30,325 "Good morning, Viet-slam." 15 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:33,028 All: Oh! 16 00:00:33,130 --> 00:00:34,829 All: Oh! 17 00:00:34,931 --> 00:00:36,931 Call me Jean-Claude van jam. 18 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,101 All: Oh! [ Laughter] 19 00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,569 What?! Hoo-hoo! 20 00:00:41,671 --> 00:00:43,371 This is the worst thing I've ever seen, 21 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,640 and I see my dad in his underpants every day. 22 00:00:45,675 --> 00:00:47,709 But we're only halfway through watching my jampilation... 23 00:00:47,778 --> 00:00:49,377 the extrava-jam-za. 24 00:00:49,446 --> 00:00:50,678 Yeah, this has been amazing, you know, 25 00:00:50,714 --> 00:00:51,946 a Saturday really well spent, 26 00:00:52,015 --> 00:00:54,249 but I am gonna go do anything else. 27 00:00:54,317 --> 00:00:56,051 [ All cheering] 28 00:00:56,753 --> 00:01:00,488 Beverly: Aah! It's my little love muffin's birthday! 29 00:01:00,488 --> 00:01:03,389 Dude, did you tape over your 5th birthday party? 30 00:01:03,458 --> 00:01:04,891 That could have been anyone's parents. 31 00:01:04,926 --> 00:01:06,793 No, I remember that party... your mom gave me a haircut 32 00:01:06,793 --> 00:01:08,326 'cause she said my mom did a bad job. 33 00:01:08,394 --> 00:01:12,029 Oh, no, no, no, no. 34 00:01:12,098 --> 00:01:13,631 Yes! This is wonderful! 35 00:01:13,733 --> 00:01:14,599 For me. 36 00:01:14,667 --> 00:01:16,167 For you, it's like as bad as it gets. 37 00:01:16,269 --> 00:01:17,134 It's fine! 38 00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,769 Mom has millions of tapes of us. 39 00:01:18,838 --> 00:01:20,338 It's not like she has every one of them memorized. 40 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:21,405 Hi, love nuggets. 41 00:01:21,474 --> 00:01:24,141 Oh, your 5th birthday! 42 00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:27,311 Oh, I remember every single moment. 43 00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:29,013 - We should go. - No, no. Stay. 44 00:01:29,082 --> 00:01:30,915 Let's all watch the best time in my life 45 00:01:30,984 --> 00:01:32,216 when you were my little Schmoo 46 00:01:32,318 --> 00:01:34,452 and you used to give Mama endless huggies. 47 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,254 You heard Mama. Play the tape. 48 00:01:38,057 --> 00:01:40,057 Why watch an old video 49 00:01:40,126 --> 00:01:42,293 when you can get a real huggie right now? 50 00:01:42,395 --> 00:01:43,327 For real? 51 00:01:43,429 --> 00:01:44,462 Get in here, you. 52 00:01:44,530 --> 00:01:45,463 [Laughs] 53 00:01:45,498 --> 00:01:47,765 Ohh, ain't this the best? 54 00:01:47,867 --> 00:01:49,000 Totally. 55 00:01:49,102 --> 00:01:52,069 I can really feel your whole body against mine. 56 00:01:52,171 --> 00:01:54,205 Oh, my baby's so big and squishy. 57 00:01:56,042 --> 00:01:57,975 ♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪ 58 00:01:58,044 --> 00:02:02,079 ♪ But nonetheless I feel the need to say ♪ 59 00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:05,483 ♪ I don't know the future ♪ 60 00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:06,587 ♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 61 00:02:06,612 --> 00:02:09,388 Synced & corrected by laulau www.Addic7ed.Com 62 00:02:09,389 --> 00:02:12,089 adult Adam: It was October 7, 1980-something, 63 00:02:12,191 --> 00:02:14,425 and my dad was engaged in his favorite hobby... 64 00:02:14,527 --> 00:02:16,193 watching the weather channel. 65 00:02:16,296 --> 00:02:18,496 Back then, there were only five channels to watch. 66 00:02:18,598 --> 00:02:20,831 With the invention of this exciting network, 67 00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:22,633 Dads across America were hooked. 68 00:02:22,735 --> 00:02:24,068 Call cousin Arnie. 69 00:02:24,137 --> 00:02:25,836 They have a blizzard warning in Denver! 70 00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:28,572 They have no idea what they're up against! 71 00:02:28,675 --> 00:02:30,007 Unless it banks South. 72 00:02:30,109 --> 00:02:32,376 Then they'll just have nice, mild flurries. 73 00:02:32,445 --> 00:02:35,513 Ooh. My knee is acting up. 74 00:02:35,615 --> 00:02:37,114 Bet it's gonna rain. 75 00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:38,516 [Laughing] Oh! 76 00:02:38,618 --> 00:02:41,319 This guy thinks it's gonna rain today with 5% humidity. 77 00:02:41,421 --> 00:02:43,854 I liked you better when you hated everything. 78 00:02:43,923 --> 00:02:45,690 Yep, the weather was my dad's hobby. 79 00:02:45,758 --> 00:02:47,825 And of course, it couldn't be any more different than mine. 80 00:02:47,927 --> 00:02:49,160 Okay, here's the deal. [Click] 81 00:02:49,262 --> 00:02:51,495 You're looking at a sentient robot named Johnny 5 82 00:02:51,597 --> 00:02:53,164 from the hit movie "short circuit" 83 00:02:53,266 --> 00:02:55,800 and the less critically acclaimed "short circuit 2." 84 00:02:55,902 --> 00:02:57,635 Why is the "robit" lounging on a raft? 85 00:02:57,737 --> 00:02:59,771 That thing weighs a ton. It makes no sense. 86 00:02:59,773 --> 00:03:03,107 The point is, the hobby shop is selling a limited-edition kit 87 00:03:03,109 --> 00:03:06,010 to build a mini replica Johnny 5 and I need money. 88 00:03:06,112 --> 00:03:08,212 You do realize I'm gonna say no, right? 89 00:03:08,314 --> 00:03:09,380 I do know that, yes. 90 00:03:09,482 --> 00:03:11,248 And that's why I'm gonna call this 91 00:03:11,317 --> 00:03:14,852 a learning-based project and ask you to build it with me. 92 00:03:14,954 --> 00:03:17,888 Do not do that. Do not call it a learning-based project. 93 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,323 Then give me the money. 94 00:03:19,425 --> 00:03:21,926 I won't involve Mom, and we can each go our separate ways. 95 00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:23,060 Done. How much? 96 00:03:23,162 --> 00:03:24,128 $96. 97 00:03:24,197 --> 00:03:25,363 I'm gonna ask you to go away now. 98 00:03:25,465 --> 00:03:27,031 Mom, I have a learning-based project 99 00:03:27,133 --> 00:03:29,266 Dad won't get involved in! 100 00:03:29,369 --> 00:03:31,769 What is this about a learning-based project? 101 00:03:31,871 --> 00:03:33,170 I like the sound of that. 102 00:03:33,272 --> 00:03:35,005 I want to build a robot with Dad, 103 00:03:35,108 --> 00:03:36,907 but he doesn't want to do it with me. 104 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:39,710 Murray! It's a learning-based project! 105 00:03:39,812 --> 00:03:42,012 Mama, why won't he let me learn stuff? 106 00:03:42,115 --> 00:03:43,748 It's a learning-based project! 107 00:03:43,850 --> 00:03:45,883 The thing costs 100 bucks. 108 00:03:45,952 --> 00:03:47,852 Tell you what... instead of going to the store 109 00:03:47,954 --> 00:03:49,687 and buying a bunch of robot parts, 110 00:03:49,789 --> 00:03:52,523 Dad will help you build one from junk around the house. 111 00:03:52,625 --> 00:03:54,258 Oh, no, what have I done? 112 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,127 - I was literally just sitting here. - No. Zip it. 113 00:03:56,229 --> 00:03:57,795 Zip it. Zip it. I've made up my mind. 114 00:03:57,897 --> 00:04:00,097 You two are building a robot, and that's final! 115 00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:03,768 Yay! Learning-based project! 116 00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:05,269 Yeah, I'm a putz. 117 00:04:05,371 --> 00:04:07,605 While I was stuck with the grumpiest man on the planet, 118 00:04:07,707 --> 00:04:09,440 Barry went to the smartest man he knew. 119 00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:11,909 Coach Meller! Coach! 120 00:04:12,011 --> 00:04:13,244 I need your help. 121 00:04:13,346 --> 00:04:14,245 [Whistle blows] 122 00:04:14,347 --> 00:04:15,446 Third graders, out! 123 00:04:15,548 --> 00:04:17,782 You're of no use to me until you develop adult bodies 124 00:04:17,884 --> 00:04:19,750 that can play something besides tag. 125 00:04:19,819 --> 00:04:21,485 What are we looking at here, Goldberg? 126 00:04:21,587 --> 00:04:23,387 I taped over my 5th birthday party! 127 00:04:23,489 --> 00:04:26,223 My mom will never forgive me if I can't get her tape back. 128 00:04:26,325 --> 00:04:29,093 You're the A.V. Club adviser. Help me. 129 00:04:29,195 --> 00:04:31,429 Well, it's more of a ceremonial title. 130 00:04:31,531 --> 00:04:33,798 I just get to keep the key to the A.V. Closet on my belt, 131 00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,966 but mostly I just hand the key off 132 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:38,102 to that weird kid with the muppet voice. 133 00:04:38,204 --> 00:04:40,571 My brother? That's him... muppet boy. 134 00:04:40,673 --> 00:04:41,739 So is it possible? 135 00:04:41,841 --> 00:04:43,974 Can we un-film what I taped over? 136 00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:44,542 Absolutely. 137 00:04:44,578 --> 00:04:46,710 All we got to do is pop that tape into the vcr, 138 00:04:46,712 --> 00:04:48,612 hit record and rewind at the same time, 139 00:04:48,714 --> 00:04:51,415 and it will un-record the top layer of video. 140 00:04:51,517 --> 00:04:52,650 Duh! 141 00:04:52,752 --> 00:04:54,652 The answer was in front of me the whole time. 142 00:04:54,754 --> 00:04:56,187 Except that wasn't the answer. 143 00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:57,421 To the nerd hole. 144 00:04:57,457 --> 00:04:59,323 While you could easily tape over something, 145 00:04:59,392 --> 00:05:01,258 you could never un-erase it. 146 00:05:01,327 --> 00:05:02,526 [Grinding] [Electricity crackling] 147 00:05:05,965 --> 00:05:07,298 No! Why didn't it work? 148 00:05:07,333 --> 00:05:09,700 'Cause nobody really knows how vhs technology works. 149 00:05:09,769 --> 00:05:11,735 It's a mystery science can't solve. 150 00:05:11,804 --> 00:05:14,305 Looks like your only choice is to come clean. 151 00:05:14,373 --> 00:05:16,774 Or I double-down and keep lying. 152 00:05:16,843 --> 00:05:18,709 I lied on a job application once 153 00:05:18,778 --> 00:05:21,445 and said I was proficient in the audio-visual arts. 154 00:05:21,514 --> 00:05:22,780 Now here we are. 155 00:05:22,882 --> 00:05:24,281 So the lesson is... 156 00:05:24,383 --> 00:05:25,416 don't lie. 157 00:05:25,485 --> 00:05:27,017 Unless it gets you an extra 60 bucks a week 158 00:05:27,086 --> 00:05:28,919 and a butt-load of extension cords. 159 00:05:29,021 --> 00:05:31,722 I feel good about today. 160 00:05:31,757 --> 00:05:34,258 In my brother's mind, there was only one logical choice... 161 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,360 frame my mom. 162 00:05:36,395 --> 00:05:37,761 First, he took his ruined birthday tape 163 00:05:37,864 --> 00:05:39,296 and steamed off the label. 164 00:05:39,365 --> 00:05:42,399 Next, he stuck it onto my mom's Phil donahue tape 165 00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:44,134 so the next time she'd watch Barry's birthday, 166 00:05:44,237 --> 00:05:46,203 she'd find this. 167 00:05:46,239 --> 00:05:48,772 In the long-term, it's not good for us. 168 00:05:48,808 --> 00:05:52,309 I just don't understand how I could be so careless! 169 00:05:52,378 --> 00:05:53,611 Don't beat yourself up too bad. 170 00:05:53,679 --> 00:05:55,212 I mean, yeah, it's an unforgivable mistake. 171 00:05:55,281 --> 00:05:57,147 But one day, I'll recover. 172 00:05:57,216 --> 00:05:58,749 But I won't! 173 00:05:58,851 --> 00:06:00,684 Those were the first moving images 174 00:06:00,786 --> 00:06:02,152 of my precious love monkeys. 175 00:06:02,255 --> 00:06:04,188 Lost! Forever! 176 00:06:05,291 --> 00:06:07,157 Dude, I'm all for lying to our parents, 177 00:06:07,260 --> 00:06:08,993 but this is very not okay. 178 00:06:09,061 --> 00:06:11,462 The good news is she'll totally forget about it in a few days. 179 00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:12,863 I will never forget about this! 180 00:06:12,965 --> 00:06:14,265 - Or a few weeks. - Ever. 181 00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:15,332 Mom's a mess. 182 00:06:15,401 --> 00:06:16,700 I've failed as a mother... 183 00:06:16,802 --> 00:06:17,701 I can't take it, Barry. 184 00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:19,403 - ...as a woman... - Either you tell her... 185 00:06:19,438 --> 00:06:21,872 - ...and as a human person. - ...Or I will. 186 00:06:21,941 --> 00:06:24,008 This is all your fault, Phil donahue, 187 00:06:24,076 --> 00:06:26,010 you gorgeous white-haired bastard. 188 00:06:26,112 --> 00:06:29,513 ♪ 189 00:06:29,582 --> 00:06:31,649 Okay, brainstorming session. 190 00:06:31,684 --> 00:06:34,718 Murray, now that you've been forced to build a robo-man, 191 00:06:34,754 --> 00:06:37,488 you get to delight in Adam's favorite hobby. 192 00:06:37,523 --> 00:06:39,223 I was about to delight in the weather channel. 193 00:06:39,325 --> 00:06:41,158 They got a new ticker at the bottom of the screen. 194 00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:42,192 It's always moving. 195 00:06:42,261 --> 00:06:43,427 - Are we done here? - No! 196 00:06:43,496 --> 00:06:46,830 Come on. Tell me what this metal-sucker should look like. 197 00:06:46,899 --> 00:06:48,632 Get the ball rolling, Mur-man. 198 00:06:48,734 --> 00:06:50,901 I don't know. Um... 199 00:06:50,970 --> 00:06:53,203 It could have a... Button. 200 00:06:53,272 --> 00:06:54,638 Good! A button. 201 00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:57,474 Way to go there, big guy. Adam, your turn. 202 00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:59,410 It definitely should have a "back to the future" -style 203 00:06:59,478 --> 00:07:01,445 flux capacitor for time travel. 204 00:07:01,514 --> 00:07:02,479 Don't write that down. 205 00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:04,048 No time travel. That's not a thing. 206 00:07:04,116 --> 00:07:06,784 There are no bad ideas in brainstorming. 207 00:07:06,852 --> 00:07:08,052 What else you got? 208 00:07:08,154 --> 00:07:09,253 I don't know. 209 00:07:09,288 --> 00:07:11,155 Maybe like a pointy hand that could poke stuff. 210 00:07:11,223 --> 00:07:12,623 An ion-based magma Cannon. 211 00:07:12,692 --> 00:07:14,792 A hat. A combat-ready cloaking device. 212 00:07:14,894 --> 00:07:15,426 Metal feet. 213 00:07:15,495 --> 00:07:17,861 We should also give it emotions and a sense of humor. 214 00:07:17,863 --> 00:07:19,496 No! Don't write that down! 215 00:07:19,532 --> 00:07:21,231 Ever heard of "short circuit"? 216 00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:23,033 Once we get it struck by lightning, 217 00:07:23,102 --> 00:07:24,902 it'll be alive just like Johnny 5. 218 00:07:25,004 --> 00:07:26,270 That was a movie. 219 00:07:26,372 --> 00:07:29,406 For the sake of argument, let's entertain the notion 220 00:07:29,475 --> 00:07:32,743 that this robot can have anything we want it to have. 221 00:07:32,812 --> 00:07:34,712 That's what I'm trying to do, bro, 222 00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:37,281 but unless this robot can give fog advisories, 223 00:07:37,383 --> 00:07:39,083 my father ain't getting on board. 224 00:07:39,185 --> 00:07:40,651 A weather "robit." 225 00:07:40,686 --> 00:07:42,553 Now, that actually makes sense. 226 00:07:42,622 --> 00:07:44,321 I want this thing to have a snow plow. 227 00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:46,090 And inter-dimensional portals. 228 00:07:46,192 --> 00:07:48,092 Now we're cooking with gas. 229 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,361 Adult Adam: While my dad and I were finally coming together, 230 00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:53,497 my mom was still falling apart. 231 00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:54,732 Dude, look at her. 232 00:07:54,834 --> 00:07:57,434 She's even lost her will to jazzercise. 233 00:07:57,503 --> 00:07:59,370 You were supposed to tell her by now. 234 00:07:59,472 --> 00:08:01,538 I know, but I have great news. 235 00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:04,708 I came up with something so much better than the truth. 236 00:08:04,777 --> 00:08:07,645 I searched through all our old tapes 237 00:08:07,713 --> 00:08:09,613 and cut together Beverly Goldberg's 238 00:08:09,715 --> 00:08:11,448 most awesome Moments as a Mom. 239 00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:13,550 I call it a "Momtage." 240 00:08:13,653 --> 00:08:14,551 I don't understand. 241 00:08:14,654 --> 00:08:16,220 See, I took the word "Mom" 242 00:08:16,322 --> 00:08:18,055 and mushed it into the word "montage," 243 00:08:18,157 --> 00:08:19,757 which is Spanish for the word "honesty." 244 00:08:19,859 --> 00:08:21,091 I know what "montage" means. 245 00:08:21,193 --> 00:08:22,726 Just tell me how it'll make her feel better. 246 00:08:22,828 --> 00:08:24,094 Simple. 247 00:08:24,163 --> 00:08:26,463 There's nothing that woman loves more than taking care of us. 248 00:08:26,565 --> 00:08:28,232 When she watches her greatest hits, 249 00:08:28,334 --> 00:08:30,067 she'll give me a hug and forget all about the other tape. 250 00:08:30,169 --> 00:08:31,702 [Click] 251 00:08:31,804 --> 00:08:34,138 ♪ Never surrender ♪ 252 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,741 Barry: Momtage! 253 00:08:37,843 --> 00:08:40,310 Starring our Mama. 254 00:08:40,413 --> 00:08:42,780 Chores! 255 00:08:42,882 --> 00:08:45,249 ♪ 256 00:08:45,351 --> 00:08:46,817 Living the dream! 257 00:08:46,919 --> 00:08:49,720 Cooking foods! 258 00:08:51,991 --> 00:08:54,224 Too hot, but thank you! 259 00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:56,460 Unclogging stuff! 260 00:08:56,562 --> 00:08:57,728 ♪ A mighty warrior ♪ 261 00:08:57,830 --> 00:09:00,364 It was Dad, not me! 262 00:09:00,433 --> 00:09:03,567 Giant hair! 263 00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:06,003 Fashion icon! 264 00:09:06,072 --> 00:09:08,439 ♪ When they try to break you down ♪ 265 00:09:08,541 --> 00:09:11,241 Yelling about safety! 266 00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:15,579 We heart Beverly! 267 00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:17,915 ♪ Against the wall ♪ 268 00:09:20,052 --> 00:09:22,453 Well? Good stuff, right? 269 00:09:22,555 --> 00:09:23,987 Yeah, I'm going to tell her myself, 270 00:09:24,056 --> 00:09:26,523 because this will literally send her into madness. 271 00:09:26,625 --> 00:09:29,660 Why can't you trust me that for once I make things better? 272 00:09:29,762 --> 00:09:32,196 Beverly: You did it Schmoo-Barry! 273 00:09:32,264 --> 00:09:33,831 You went on the big potty! 274 00:09:33,933 --> 00:09:36,433 We'll remember this forever. 275 00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:38,102 No! That's why! 276 00:09:38,204 --> 00:09:40,871 Because you taped over another priceless memory! 277 00:09:40,973 --> 00:09:41,939 Chill! 278 00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:43,474 I can fix this with another Momtage. 279 00:09:45,864 --> 00:09:47,963 Adult Adam: It had been two days since my dad came aboard 280 00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:50,296 my greatest hobby, and the results were epic! 281 00:09:50,296 --> 00:09:51,295 Big news! 282 00:09:51,864 --> 00:09:53,397 I got a tin of rugelach. 283 00:09:53,397 --> 00:09:55,364 You two look like you could use a break. 284 00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:56,965 No breaks. We're on a roll. 285 00:09:57,068 --> 00:09:58,067 Check it out. 286 00:09:58,135 --> 00:10:00,135 Here's our robot in killer cyborg form. 287 00:10:00,237 --> 00:10:02,471 Here he is shooting his laser-guided fist. 288 00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:06,475 And here he is using a doppler radar to predict black ice. 289 00:10:06,577 --> 00:10:08,577 Hoo-hoo! Can you imagine?! 290 00:10:08,646 --> 00:10:11,046 - Now let's get to work. - On what? 291 00:10:11,148 --> 00:10:12,681 Duh. Our robot. 292 00:10:12,783 --> 00:10:15,417 Sure, it won't be easy, but you said you'd tinker. 293 00:10:15,486 --> 00:10:18,887 We can't build this thing. It's got a time-travel thingy. 294 00:10:18,956 --> 00:10:20,656 This technology doesn't even exist! 295 00:10:20,724 --> 00:10:22,257 Not with that attitude. 296 00:10:22,359 --> 00:10:23,725 Okay, it's on me. 297 00:10:23,828 --> 00:10:25,194 I should have known better than to encourage 298 00:10:25,296 --> 00:10:26,462 all this "robit" nonsense. 299 00:10:26,530 --> 00:10:29,064 Oh, like your hobby's so great? The weather. Feh. 300 00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:31,967 Don't "feh" the weather. It can make or break us. 301 00:10:32,036 --> 00:10:35,037 Just ask those poor bastards down tornado alley. 302 00:10:35,139 --> 00:10:36,371 Please. 303 00:10:36,407 --> 00:10:38,874 My robot can defeat any tornado you throw at me. 304 00:10:38,943 --> 00:10:40,709 Easy, fellas. Have some rugelach. 305 00:10:40,778 --> 00:10:44,580 Really? A category-nine twister versus this tin can? Please! 306 00:10:44,682 --> 00:10:46,982 It's got nuts and jam! Just take a taste. 307 00:10:47,051 --> 00:10:48,283 You fool. 308 00:10:48,352 --> 00:10:51,887 My robot is made out of indestructible adamantium 309 00:10:51,956 --> 00:10:54,823 and has a drill that can dig into the core of the earth 310 00:10:54,925 --> 00:10:56,992 and change your precious weather patterns. 311 00:10:57,061 --> 00:10:58,760 I should have never agreed to the drill! 312 00:10:58,829 --> 00:11:00,229 I was on the fence about it, 313 00:11:00,297 --> 00:11:02,164 and now you're using it against me! 314 00:11:02,266 --> 00:11:03,232 My own son! 315 00:11:03,334 --> 00:11:04,199 Just take a taste. 316 00:11:04,335 --> 00:11:06,735 Al. Enough of your deli cookie, please. 317 00:11:06,871 --> 00:11:07,970 Just take a taste! 318 00:11:08,038 --> 00:11:09,404 Look, you're not a little kid anymore. 319 00:11:09,507 --> 00:11:11,373 You got to stop with these toys 320 00:11:11,442 --> 00:11:13,108 and the fantasies and the "robits." 321 00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:14,076 It's robot. 322 00:11:14,178 --> 00:11:16,211 Why won't you say it the right way? 323 00:11:16,313 --> 00:11:17,346 Say "robot"! 324 00:11:17,448 --> 00:11:18,580 I am! "Robit"! 325 00:11:18,682 --> 00:11:19,548 Ro-bot. 326 00:11:19,650 --> 00:11:20,916 - "Robit"! - Robot! 327 00:11:21,018 --> 00:11:23,452 - "Robit"! - Ro-bot! 328 00:11:23,554 --> 00:11:25,087 It doesn't matter what you call it. 329 00:11:25,189 --> 00:11:27,556 You need to find a hobby for a kid your age, 330 00:11:27,625 --> 00:11:28,857 a hobby that's real. 331 00:11:28,926 --> 00:11:30,492 None of this crap is real! 332 00:11:30,561 --> 00:11:32,194 You think I don't know what's not real? 333 00:11:32,263 --> 00:11:33,929 Well, you sure as hell act like it is! 334 00:11:33,998 --> 00:11:36,532 It's called fun... to pretend, to imagine, 335 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,567 to think of things that may be possible one day. 336 00:11:38,669 --> 00:11:39,835 It's what I do. 337 00:11:39,937 --> 00:11:41,803 Hell, I-I'll go build this robot right now 338 00:11:41,872 --> 00:11:43,605 just to show you anything's possible. 339 00:11:43,674 --> 00:11:46,875 You're gonna go invent a time-traveling "robit" 340 00:11:46,944 --> 00:11:48,844 in your room just to spite me? 341 00:11:48,946 --> 00:11:51,513 Yes, and he will walk and talk 342 00:11:51,549 --> 00:11:53,615 and be the father that you could only hope to be. 343 00:11:53,684 --> 00:11:56,385 At this point, I'm very open to a metal man coming down here 344 00:11:56,453 --> 00:11:58,086 and taking some of this off my plate! 345 00:11:58,189 --> 00:12:00,055 Good! 'Cause it's done! 346 00:12:00,157 --> 00:12:02,057 No, no, no. Again, I'm really into it. 347 00:12:02,159 --> 00:12:05,327 ♪ 348 00:12:05,396 --> 00:12:07,296 Rugelach is a friendship snack. 349 00:12:07,364 --> 00:12:09,364 As I convinced myself to build a robot, 350 00:12:09,433 --> 00:12:12,267 Erica convinced Barry to come clean to my mom. 351 00:12:12,369 --> 00:12:15,571 Hi, ma. You can unload those groceries by yourself later. 352 00:12:15,673 --> 00:12:17,506 Right now, we need to talk. 353 00:12:17,608 --> 00:12:18,907 What's wrong, squishy? 354 00:12:19,009 --> 00:12:21,843 First, I'll kick things off with a gravity-defying dunk 355 00:12:21,946 --> 00:12:23,812 dedicated to my very understanding 356 00:12:23,914 --> 00:12:25,113 and forgiving mother. 357 00:12:25,216 --> 00:12:27,082 I named it "I love you, Mama." 358 00:12:27,151 --> 00:12:28,984 You're very sweet to cheer me up, honey. 359 00:12:29,053 --> 00:12:30,185 And remember that. 360 00:12:30,254 --> 00:12:32,487 'Cause after my dunk, I'm gonna tell you all about 361 00:12:32,556 --> 00:12:35,424 how I taped over my birthday, then framed you, 362 00:12:35,459 --> 00:12:37,326 and then taped over even more precious stuff. 363 00:12:37,428 --> 00:12:38,961 Watch me jam it home! 364 00:12:41,565 --> 00:12:42,764 All: Oh! 365 00:12:42,866 --> 00:12:44,833 [All cheering] 366 00:12:44,935 --> 00:12:46,501 That's right, jtp! 367 00:12:46,570 --> 00:12:49,271 Get my mom riled up with your infectious energy! 368 00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:51,373 He soars like an angel! 369 00:12:51,475 --> 00:12:52,441 You did it? 370 00:12:52,543 --> 00:12:55,677 And then made me turn against Phil donahue? 371 00:12:55,746 --> 00:12:57,779 So you lost a few irreplaceable memories, 372 00:12:57,881 --> 00:13:00,082 but think about what you gained! 373 00:13:00,150 --> 00:13:03,285 An explosive jampilation of my sweetest rim encounters! 374 00:13:03,387 --> 00:13:04,920 You think I'd rather have a video 375 00:13:05,022 --> 00:13:08,624 of you jam-dunking on some low rim? Seriously? 376 00:13:08,726 --> 00:13:11,126 Low? That's NBA regulation. 377 00:13:11,195 --> 00:13:12,394 It's not. 378 00:13:12,463 --> 00:13:14,229 I just told you that to make you feel good about yourself. 379 00:13:14,298 --> 00:13:15,397 - It's low, bro. - Yeah, thing's tiny. 380 00:13:15,432 --> 00:13:16,898 That's not regulation at all. 381 00:13:17,001 --> 00:13:18,267 Oh, my God! 382 00:13:18,335 --> 00:13:21,203 I entered the dunk contest at the villanova game next week! 383 00:13:21,305 --> 00:13:22,571 How could you lie to me?! 384 00:13:22,606 --> 00:13:24,339 Because that's what a good Mama does. 385 00:13:24,408 --> 00:13:25,374 Shes builds you up 386 00:13:25,476 --> 00:13:27,542 and makes you feel like you can do anything. 387 00:13:27,611 --> 00:13:30,145 I've spent the past decade planning to be 388 00:13:30,247 --> 00:13:32,281 a basketball legend and rap star! 389 00:13:32,349 --> 00:13:34,483 Now I'm just gonna be some lowly rap mogul? 390 00:13:34,585 --> 00:13:37,085 That can't be the life you want for me! 391 00:13:37,187 --> 00:13:39,554 What I want is my old tapes back, 392 00:13:39,623 --> 00:13:41,857 but that's not happening, either, is it? 393 00:13:42,726 --> 00:13:45,093 My life's a sham. 394 00:13:45,195 --> 00:13:46,762 Goodbye, dreams. 395 00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:48,363 As my brother's dreams were dying, 396 00:13:48,432 --> 00:13:50,265 I was realizing it really was impossible 397 00:13:50,367 --> 00:13:51,900 to give life to a robot. 398 00:13:52,002 --> 00:13:54,670 Hey! What are the rules? 399 00:13:54,772 --> 00:13:56,638 Don't come in your room, don't touch your crap, 400 00:13:56,740 --> 00:13:58,407 and don't come in your room to touch your crap. 401 00:13:58,475 --> 00:14:00,242 And right now, you're breaking all of them. Get out. 402 00:14:00,344 --> 00:14:01,610 I'm sorry, okay? 403 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:04,246 But I really need the electrical guts inside this boom box. 404 00:14:04,315 --> 00:14:04,982 For what? 405 00:14:05,007 --> 00:14:07,483 To build a spite robot that can replace Dad... 406 00:14:07,484 --> 00:14:08,817 a nice one that keeps his pants on. 407 00:14:08,817 --> 00:14:09,883 Take a seat. 408 00:14:12,587 --> 00:14:14,420 All right, how do I say this? 409 00:14:14,523 --> 00:14:15,755 Uh... 410 00:14:15,824 --> 00:14:17,824 It's time to give up your stupid thing. 411 00:14:17,926 --> 00:14:19,793 What? No, no, no, no. Never. 412 00:14:19,828 --> 00:14:21,861 Trust me. I'm talking from experience here. 413 00:14:22,673 --> 00:14:25,874 When I was your age, this was my hobby. 414 00:14:26,372 --> 00:14:28,739 Strawberry shortcake. Heard of it? 415 00:14:28,841 --> 00:14:30,741 Yeah, they're those chubby dolls that smell like pie. 416 00:14:30,776 --> 00:14:32,676 Put her in your hand and tell me what you smell. 417 00:14:32,778 --> 00:14:34,979 [Sniffs] 418 00:14:35,081 --> 00:14:36,080 Nothing. 419 00:14:36,182 --> 00:14:37,081 Exactly. 420 00:14:37,183 --> 00:14:39,550 I smelled her so long and so hard 421 00:14:39,652 --> 00:14:42,219 that all the Berry is gone, and you know why? 422 00:14:42,321 --> 00:14:45,656 Because I was playing with these until I was in the 9th grade. 423 00:14:45,758 --> 00:14:46,824 Oh, God. 424 00:14:46,926 --> 00:14:49,460 No one liked this girl, Adam. No one. 425 00:14:49,562 --> 00:14:51,629 Everyone else moved on to real hobbies 426 00:14:51,697 --> 00:14:54,932 like sports and boys and wine coolers, 427 00:14:55,034 --> 00:14:56,567 and I was still sniffing the straw. 428 00:14:56,669 --> 00:14:59,203 But robots are way cooler than those dolls. 429 00:14:59,305 --> 00:15:01,572 Are they, Adam? Are they? 430 00:15:02,675 --> 00:15:05,576 It's time, dude. Move on. 431 00:15:05,678 --> 00:15:07,244 ♪ 432 00:15:07,346 --> 00:15:08,612 The last thing I wanted 433 00:15:08,714 --> 00:15:11,282 was to be that sad, little geek in the photo. 434 00:15:11,384 --> 00:15:13,784 At that moment, I realized my dad was right. 435 00:15:13,886 --> 00:15:17,721 It was time to give up robots forever. 436 00:15:21,559 --> 00:15:22,624 While Barry's heart was broken 437 00:15:22,726 --> 00:15:23,725 'cause he'd never play in the NBA, 438 00:15:23,828 --> 00:15:24,927 my mom felt even worse 439 00:15:24,995 --> 00:15:27,596 'cause she was the one who broke it. 440 00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:29,898 Goodbye, round mound of rebound. 441 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,062 It would have been nice to be your teammate 442 00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,864 until I became a franchise player 443 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,167 and you got traded to Utah in disgrace. 444 00:15:36,235 --> 00:15:37,601 ♪ 445 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:41,138 In that moment, my mom knew that some taped memory 446 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:42,440 from the past wasn't as important 447 00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:45,443 as making Barry feel good about his future. 448 00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:48,279 And so Beverly Goldberg did what she does best... 449 00:15:48,314 --> 00:15:50,514 build up her children in an unrealistic way. 450 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,549 Beverly: Barry, wait. 451 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:52,583 Mom, I'm going to school 452 00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,218 'cause I actually have to learn stuff now 453 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,320 'cause I'm not getting drafted by the sixers next month. 454 00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,822 Love bug, just sit down. 455 00:15:57,924 --> 00:15:59,457 There's something I want you to see. 456 00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:00,491 [Click] 457 00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,626 ♪ Never surrender ♪ 458 00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:04,428 See, I took the word "Schmoo" 459 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:07,031 and combined it with "compilation." 460 00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:08,466 Mom, don't bother. 461 00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:10,935 It's not gonna make anything better 462 00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:13,037 Beverly: Starring Barry Goldberg. 463 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,038 Hee-yah! 464 00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:15,806 Ne-yah! Ne-yah! 465 00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,107 Ugh. 466 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,310 Fists... 467 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,811 Beverly: Kara-te power! 468 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,913 ♪ You were born a fighter ♪ 469 00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:25,883 ♪ In the blood, a mighty warrior ♪ 470 00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:27,184 Jumping stuff! 471 00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:29,220 ♪ Driven by desire ♪ 472 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,855 ♪ Glory calls ♪ 473 00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:32,623 Popping and locking! 474 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,959 [Screams] I hate this game! 475 00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:36,060 Beverly: Passion! 476 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,161 ♪ When they try to break you down ♪ 477 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:39,597 ♪ You can take it ♪ [Water running] 478 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,098 Berverly: Long showers! 479 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:44,201 ♪ When your back's against the wall ♪ [Beeping] 480 00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,504 ♪ The thrill of the fight's got you standing tall ♪ 481 00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,005 Treasure! ♪ Never surrender ♪ 482 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,841 Adam! Get out! Stop video-t... 483 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,176 Beverly: Hero! [Clapping] 484 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:53,911 ♪ You've got the heart of a hero ♪ Whoo! 485 00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:55,079 ♪ Never surrender ♪ 486 00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:57,181 But you forgot to mention my frisbee skills 487 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,283 and how easily I can make friends with horses. 488 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,651 See? 489 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,220 You're so much more than basketball, honey. 490 00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:07,358 You are amazingly talented at so many amazing things. 491 00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:09,460 I am good at basically everything. 492 00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,595 I just... Couldn't live with myself 493 00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:14,164 if I knew I took away your dreams. 494 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,801 So... Does this mean you forgive me for ruining your tapes? 495 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,970 Of course. 496 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,207 Look, I know it's crazy how much I love them, 497 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:26,143 but they just remind me of a time 498 00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:27,611 when you still needed me. 499 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:28,913 Mom. 500 00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,714 Look at all the stuff you do for me. 501 00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,650 Everything I am is because of you. 502 00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:33,984 I'll always need you. 503 00:17:34,086 --> 00:17:36,020 [Rod Stewart's "forever young" plays] 504 00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:44,562 Goodbye, r2 and 3po. 505 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:48,799 I guess you are not the droids I was looking for. 506 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,267 Well, you did it. 507 00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:52,603 He's giving up all his robots. 508 00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:53,737 I didn't want that. 509 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,673 I just wanted him to grow up a little bit. 510 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:56,640 Look at him. 511 00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:58,943 He's watching the damn weather. 512 00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:01,378 He has the rest of his life to be one of us. 513 00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:03,180 Why rush him into it? 514 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:07,718 Oh, damn. I hate when you're right. 515 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,153 ♪ And may sunshine and happiness ♪ 516 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,321 Where you going? 517 00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:14,091 I'm gonna finish a learning-based project. 518 00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,260 Adult Adam: Just as I had given up robots, 519 00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:19,530 my dad went out and bought me the one I always wanted. 520 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,498 ♪ Dignified and true ♪ [Whirring] 521 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:24,735 Murray: Hello, earth boy. It's me, short circuit. 522 00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:26,003 Just go away. 523 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,472 Be-bop-boop! Be-bop-boop! 524 00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:29,540 Not interested. 525 00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:32,176 But Jimmy 5 is alive! 526 00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:35,412 [Chuckles] I'm alive! 527 00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:36,547 [Bleep] 528 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,816 It's Johnny 5, and you're not alive. 529 00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,351 You're a stupid toy. 530 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:41,652 ♪ And in my heart, you'll always stay ♪ 531 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,654 Look. I know what I said. 532 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:44,955 ♪ Forever young ♪ 533 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:48,058 And I'd never want you to stop with the "robit" stuff 534 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:49,360 because of me. 535 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,527 It's fine, Dad. 536 00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:51,996 You're not the only one who said I should move on. 537 00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:53,430 Well, they're wrong. 538 00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:55,399 I like that you got a big imagination 539 00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:58,235 and you like all that crazy time-travel stuff. 540 00:18:58,337 --> 00:18:59,269 You do? 541 00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:00,304 Yeah. 542 00:19:00,339 --> 00:19:01,238 It's what makes you, you, 543 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,640 and I wouldn't want to change that. 544 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:03,941 ♪ Build a stairway to heaven ♪ 545 00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:06,810 Maybe a little. You're a weird kid. 546 00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:07,945 Thanks. 547 00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:09,747 So what do you say we take this sucker out 548 00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,715 and try and get it struck by lightning? 549 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,117 Bring this "robit" to life. 550 00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:14,451 It's robot. 551 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,488 And it's impossible to know when lightning's gonna strike next. 552 00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:20,190 Hey. You got your hobby. I got mine. 553 00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:21,358 And with that, 554 00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:24,161 my dad and I combined our hobbies 555 00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:25,796 of course, lightning never struck my robot 556 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,297 and Jimmy 5 never came alive. 557 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,567 But that night, my dad and I made a memory 558 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,770 that would last a lifetime, 559 00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:36,974 something we would always have to look back on. 560 00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:39,610 ♪ Forever young ♪ [Sniffs] 561 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,578 That's the thing about letting go of the past. 562 00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:42,913 It's never easy. 563 00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:45,716 And sometimes, we never let go of it at all. 564 00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,518 But the amazing thing about life 565 00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:51,121 is that we make new precious memories every single day. 566 00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:53,023 ♪ Forever young ♪ Hey, Mom. 567 00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:56,160 I was gonna go outside and throw down some monster jams. 568 00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:57,661 Maybe you want to come watch? 569 00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:00,798 I'd love to, Baby. 570 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:05,469 ♪ Forever young ♪ 571 00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:08,472 And the memories come when you least expect it. 572 00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:13,177 ♪ Forever young ♪ 573 00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:14,478 All: Oh! 574 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:15,646 [Laughter] 575 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:18,148 [All cheering] 576 00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:20,551 ♪ 577 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,557 All: Oh! 578 00:20:26,582 --> 00:20:27,749 Synced & Corrected by Laulau www.addic7ed.com 579 00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:28,905 I have awful news... 580 00:20:28,905 --> 00:20:30,938 do you remember that video of me 581 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,571 playing with my strawberry shortcake dolls 582 00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:34,073 when I was little? 583 00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:35,541 I accidentally taped over it. 584 00:20:35,576 --> 00:20:37,242 Erica, how could you? 585 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,912 I'm sorry. I guess I just messed up like Barry did. 586 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,580 Yeah, that's a real shame. 587 00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,115 Lucky for us, I made a copy. 588 00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:44,416 What?! 589 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:45,318 Oh. Barry! 590 00:20:45,353 --> 00:20:47,820 Good morning, Blueberry Muffin! You smell delicious today! 591 00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,089 Oh, why, thank you, Cherry Cuddler. 592 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:53,024 Do you want to join us at the Berry bake shoppe for tea? 593 00:20:53,049 --> 00:20:54,249 Oh, well, I can't because I have plans 594 00:20:54,274 --> 00:20:57,074 with my boyfriend, David Hasselhoff! 595 00:20:57,099 --> 00:20:58,599 [Laughter] So adorable. 596 00:20:58,599 --> 00:20:59,299 You're so dead! 597 00:20:59,324 --> 00:21:00,624 - Classic. - So awkward. 598 00:21:00,649 --> 00:21:01,949 I love her so much.