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Previously on Blunt Talk...
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It's the Falklands all over again, Harry.
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- The anniversary of the Falklands
is coming up.- Hey!
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And that... no, that is when
you and Harry really go nuts.
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- Who's Harry?
- Major.
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Don't leave me!
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I saw what that boy has between his legs.
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- I am genuinely attracted to you.
- You are?
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I glanced at you in the men's room.
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You're not circumcised.
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I haven't had sex since the 20th century.
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- Phil, I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
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HERSHEL: My thing is
to wear no underwear.
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Then I ride the bus
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and I just hope somebody
sees my noodle and my wontons.
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- You don't remember writing this
because you didn't.- I'm sorry?
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So what are you, breast man or an ass man?
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JIM: I'm a foot man.
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[quietly] I don't get
it. Who is this idiot?
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[whispers] It's Moby.
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WALTER: You dating Moby-Dick?
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It's just Moby, no Dick, and, yes, I am.
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♪
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Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
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- Morning, Harry.
- Morning, Major.
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- Sleep all right?
- Oh, yes.
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So good to be sleeping in the open air.
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[deep breaths]
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And, you know, I had quite an erotic dream.
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Burt Lancaster again, sir?
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Oh, certainly not. No.
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My dream was about Death Sentence Suzanne.
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It was somewhat carnal.
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Excellent news, sir.
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Oh, that night with her, Harry.
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It was one to remember.
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Yes, sir.
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Thank you.
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Her hair fanned out on the pillow.
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And that night, I experienced
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a total erasure of self,
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which so rarely happens.
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I wouldn't know, sir.
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Oh, no, of course. Oh, your issues.
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Well, a good orgasm,
Harry, is like a comet.
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It begins in the pelvis,
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shoots up the spine like a flame,
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sears across the mind,
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culminating in a red explosion
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followed quickly by a black void.
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So a red comet, sir, and then a black void?
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But, the black void
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could be an intimation of death.
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[softly] Right.
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Your eggs, sir.
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Oh, thank you, Harry.
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You know, it's hard to believe
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it's been 33 years since the war ended.
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It's still so vivid, sir.
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- I close my eyes, I'm there.
- Mm-hmm.
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You know, Major, we've never
really talked about the war.
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I mean, the scars that are unseen.
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Yes, I know.
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[sighs]
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Walter, Red, do I smell bacon?
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Morning, Ronnie. Would you like a coffee?
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[whispers] Oh, don't encourage him, Harry.
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Oh, yeah. Great. I'll be
right over. Just one sec.
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Oh. Great.
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- [quietly] Sorry, sir.
- [sighs]
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[grunts]
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I'd say thank God it's Friday,
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but I'm an atheist.
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I'm agnostic, but I do pray a lot.
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Yeah, me, too. I don't know what
else to do when I get scared.
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[chuckles]
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Hey, are you gonna go to Walter's party?
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Of course. He wants everyone to go.
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Are you bringing anybody?
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No, I want Walter to completely reform
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his opinion of me as an oversexed woman.
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- Right.
- Here's your report, Celia.
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Oh, thank you. Are you bringing anyone?
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Uh, no.
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No, I'm probably just
gonna leave early, you know?
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- Why?
- I don't know.
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It seems like every time I go to a party,
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somebody accidentally spits
their food into my mouth.
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- Come on.
- I'm not kidding.
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I'm like a... a Venus flytrap.
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A lot of times the other person
knows they spat in my mouth,
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but we pretend it didn't happen.
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Ugh, that's terrible.
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Yeah, last party I didn't
even bother eating my own food.
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Well, if you stick with
me, I won't eat anything
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and I won't spit in your mouth.
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Okay. Promise?
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[giggles]
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[softly] All right.
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So, what are you two doing?
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A little World War II cosplay?
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Cosplay?
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You know, role playing with costumes, huh?
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Don't be disgusting.
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No, Ronnie, let me explain.
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We do this every few years on
the anniversary of the Falklands
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to celebrate the bloody
war coming to an end.
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Oh, I get it. A camping party.
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[laughs] You should have invited me.
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I was a Boy Scout, if you can believe it.
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I got my first badge in
tossing salad. [laughs]
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Well, we're having a proper party tonight.
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- Perhaps you'd like to come.
- Sure, and I'll bring Sylvia.
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She still asks about you, you know.
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- She does?
- Mmm.
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[exhales] What are you doing?
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Push ups. I want to
look buff for the party.
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I can't believe how fast
you've become bisexual.
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I know.
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So you think you're gonna meet somebody?
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Maybe. I'm feeling very lush.
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Open. What about you?
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- Oh, I'm bringing a date.
- You're dating?
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I thought you were going on
vacation to find yourself.
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You can date before a vacation.
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Is Rosalie okay with this?
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Well, she's gonna bring Teddy.
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But it might be weird
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'cause the girl I met
is also named Rosalie.
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It's why I noticed her on Facebook.
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- Ew. Morning, Walter.
- Morning.
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Walter, Dr. Weiss is in your office.
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[quietly] Damn. I'd forgotten.
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Uh, wait here, Harry.
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- Work on your knitting.
- Yes, Major.
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[grunts]
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HARRY: Well done, Shelly. [grunts]
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Bet you'd make an excellent arm wrestler.
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- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
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Arm wrestling is a passion of mine,
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and I know who's good and who isn't.
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Yeah, Shelly. Yeah, you have value.
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Yeah, you're a good girl.
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Come on, Shelly.
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[indistinct chatter]
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[softly] Hey.
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Morning, sir.
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Jim. You can call me Jim.
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Yes, sir.
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Hey, uh, Harry, what
are you always knitting?
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What is this?
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It's a hat for the major.
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Being bald, he's vulnerable to drafts.
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That's nice of you.
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Harry, I... I think it's beautiful,
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but why are you so devoted to Walter?
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I mean, I know he deserves it, but...
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But it seems excessive?
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- Well...
- It's not.
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33 years ago,
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the Major saved my life.
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I'd taken shrapnel and
would have bled to death
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slowly,
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which is not a pretty way to go.
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- I didn't... I didn't know.
- Yeah.
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He risked his life to save mine.
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So the least I can do,
Jim, knit him a hat..
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The truth is, Doctor,
for all the sex I've had,
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there have been very few
moments of profound happiness.
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What holds you back?
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I don't want to reveal myself.
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I live in public, but...
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oh, I have secrets. The war.
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Look, can we talk
about something else?
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I've never heard you
expound on my anal anxiety.
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Walter. Gardner wants
to see you in his office.
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We're in session.
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Is that little minx gonna be at your party?
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Gardner wants you to replace
your Falklands editorial
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because while you were
in session with Dr. Nutso,
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an Indiana congressman called Jeff Roberts
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was exposed by a male prostitute.
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Roberts was supportive of all
the anti-gay legislation there.
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Oh, God.
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That is the oldest story there is.
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The self-hating, closeted politician.
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Well, it's a huge story
and we have to cover it.
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Oh, Bob, we were just coming to you.
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Yeah, I'm not walking enough according
to my app, so I decided to sprint over.
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- Rosalie tell you?
- Yes.
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I do not want Blunt Talk involved
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in another one of these
tired tabloid witch-hunts.
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Uh-uh, this is a plane crash.
This is a sex plane crash
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and your numbers have started
to dip since your sex scandal.
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- But my Falklands editorial...
- No, this is important to me.
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It's very important.
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I'll see you at the party.
Looking forward to it.
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And Daddy is bringing a date.
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- Whoo.
- [whispers] Damn it.
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I hate covering these kinds of things.
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I have felt the noose of public
shaming too often of late.
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So tell them that.
203
00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:19,459
Say you're sick of all
this puritanical bullshit.
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I know I am.
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00:09:20,879 --> 00:09:22,662
So what Congressman Roberts
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00:09:22,714 --> 00:09:25,081
stood for is reprehensible,
207
00:09:25,133 --> 00:09:28,918
but what he did in the
privacy of a hotel room is not.
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00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:32,922
I, for one, would love to see a
day when there would be no judgment
209
00:09:32,924 --> 00:09:36,092
and no labels for what consenting adults do
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when being sensual in their private lives.
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00:09:39,898 --> 00:09:42,148
No straight or gay or bi or trans.
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00:09:42,184 --> 00:09:45,985
Just human beings in their endless variety.
213
00:09:46,021 --> 00:09:48,822
None more wrong or right than the next.
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00:09:48,857 --> 00:09:51,741
Well, one can dream.
215
00:09:51,776 --> 00:09:53,943
So that's all we have for tonight,
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00:09:53,945 --> 00:09:57,113
which happens to be the 33rd anniversary
217
00:09:57,115 --> 00:09:59,833
of the end of the Falklands War.
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May those fallen...
219
00:10:02,337 --> 00:10:04,420
[voice breaks] ...on both sides
220
00:10:04,456 --> 00:10:06,122
rest in peace.
221
00:10:07,459 --> 00:10:09,175
That was a lovely editorial, sir.
222
00:10:09,211 --> 00:10:12,795
Oh, Harry, it was pie in the sky dreaming.
223
00:10:12,848 --> 00:10:14,931
I sounded like John Lennon.
224
00:10:14,966 --> 00:10:17,967
Except that John was talking about peace.
225
00:10:18,019 --> 00:10:20,136
You're very gloomy today, sir.
226
00:10:20,188 --> 00:10:21,971
But let's try to rally.
227
00:10:21,973 --> 00:10:23,857
We have a party to throw.
228
00:10:23,892 --> 00:10:26,609
And, well, I have a gift for you.
229
00:10:30,482 --> 00:10:32,482
Ah.
230
00:10:32,484 --> 00:10:33,900
What is it, Harry?
231
00:10:33,952 --> 00:10:35,735
Oh, a tea cozy.
232
00:10:35,787 --> 00:10:37,737
No, it's a hat, sir.
233
00:10:37,789 --> 00:10:39,405
For drafts.
234
00:10:39,457 --> 00:10:42,625
Right. Thank you so much. I'll try it on.
235
00:10:46,548 --> 00:10:51,384
I seem to have misjudged the
dimensions of your skull, sir.
236
00:10:51,419 --> 00:10:54,220
[glass clinking]
[indistinct chatter]
237
00:10:54,256 --> 00:10:56,839
Well, thank you all for coming.
238
00:10:56,892 --> 00:11:01,010
I am so heartened and delighted
to see each one of you here.
239
00:11:01,012 --> 00:11:04,764
Now, when we think on the Falklands War,
240
00:11:04,816 --> 00:11:08,184
we can be heartened to
know that today marks
241
00:11:08,236 --> 00:11:12,355
the day when hostilities ceased.
242
00:11:12,357 --> 00:11:14,824
So, let's...
243
00:11:14,859 --> 00:11:17,527
[crickets chirping]
244
00:11:17,579 --> 00:11:20,496
[voice breaks] let's...
245
00:11:21,917 --> 00:11:24,617
So let's raise a glass
246
00:11:24,669 --> 00:11:26,869
to mark that day of peace.
247
00:11:26,922 --> 00:11:28,171
Hey, I thought this was a party.
248
00:11:28,206 --> 00:11:31,207
[bleets] I brought a petting goat!
249
00:11:31,259 --> 00:11:33,209
[laughs] Whoo!
250
00:11:33,261 --> 00:11:35,795
[pops] Whoa! [laughs]
251
00:11:35,847 --> 00:11:38,097
♪
252
00:11:40,852 --> 00:11:43,186
[cheering]
253
00:11:48,610 --> 00:11:52,395
- Sorry. Hey.
- Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
254
00:11:52,397 --> 00:11:55,732
Walter, you were amazing tonight.
255
00:11:55,734 --> 00:11:57,317
Oh, thank you.
256
00:11:57,369 --> 00:11:58,868
Now dance with us or you're fired. Oh. Oh.
257
00:11:58,903 --> 00:12:01,988
This party's great. I am
so glad Bobby invited me.
258
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,958
Bobby? Oh, yes, of course.
259
00:12:04,993 --> 00:12:07,577
Walter, I love this song.
Can I dance with you guys?
260
00:12:07,629 --> 00:12:10,079
Yes, please do. Let's get
a four-way bald selfie.
261
00:12:10,081 --> 00:12:11,748
Squeeze in.
262
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,166
[camera clicks]
263
00:12:13,218 --> 00:12:16,169
You're so beautiful.
264
00:12:16,221 --> 00:12:18,888
- Thank you.
- Everything is so beautiful.
265
00:12:18,923 --> 00:12:20,723
- You're so beautiful.
- Bob, come here.
266
00:12:23,311 --> 00:12:25,561
How long have you been dating, um...
267
00:12:25,597 --> 00:12:28,564
Uh, Emanuel. Yeah, I met him at
UBS just after you had him on.
268
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:33,569
He was in the men's room, and holy
shit, did one thing lead to another.
269
00:12:33,605 --> 00:12:36,105
It was like ding-ding. [imitates gunshot]
270
00:12:36,107 --> 00:12:37,774
You high?
271
00:12:37,776 --> 00:12:39,075
Yeah.
272
00:12:39,110 --> 00:12:40,693
- Bobby, come on.
- Yeah.
273
00:12:40,745 --> 00:12:42,612
♪ Tell me all the
things I've missed ♪
274
00:12:42,614 --> 00:12:44,781
♪ Who's been killed
and who's been kissed ♪
275
00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:46,749
♪ Drag me back,
collect my thoughts ♪
276
00:12:46,785 --> 00:12:49,369
♪ I'll be gone when
the drugs wear off... ♪
277
00:12:49,421 --> 00:12:50,953
MARTIN: Walter. Martin.
278
00:12:50,955 --> 00:12:54,257
- This is Rosalie.
- Rosalie?
279
00:12:54,292 --> 00:12:57,093
I know, it's just a coincidence, sort of.
280
00:12:57,128 --> 00:12:58,678
Mm, it's very nice to meet you, Mr. Blunt.
281
00:12:58,713 --> 00:13:01,881
It's a wonderful party. I
like all of the weird people.
282
00:13:01,933 --> 00:13:04,684
Oh, thank you, my dear. Come.
283
00:13:04,719 --> 00:13:08,521
♪ The palms are down,
I'm welcomed into town ♪
284
00:13:08,556 --> 00:13:12,191
♪ Sometimes I feel like
they don't understand me ♪
285
00:13:12,227 --> 00:13:14,394
Thank you.
286
00:13:14,446 --> 00:13:17,947
ROSALIE: Look at how Martin's
carrying on with that girl.
287
00:13:17,982 --> 00:13:19,649
Where's Teddy?
288
00:13:19,651 --> 00:13:23,703
Oh, he wasn't having one of his
good days so he stayed at home.
289
00:13:23,738 --> 00:13:26,823
His beautiful Armenian friend came around.
290
00:13:26,875 --> 00:13:29,792
I need another drink.
291
00:13:32,213 --> 00:13:34,080
How are you holding up?
292
00:13:34,132 --> 00:13:36,299
Not so good.
293
00:13:36,334 --> 00:13:38,584
How can we make this fun for you?
294
00:13:38,636 --> 00:13:42,055
I know. Let's tell each
other something weird
295
00:13:42,090 --> 00:13:44,807
and personal with every drink
that we have. You go first.
296
00:13:44,843 --> 00:13:46,926
I'm not good at drinking
games. You go first.
297
00:13:46,978 --> 00:13:49,645
Okay, I don't like
watching other people eat.
298
00:13:49,681 --> 00:13:52,014
I feel like they look like sort of animals
299
00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:53,399
and then I feel bad for judging them.
300
00:13:53,435 --> 00:13:55,184
Me, too. I watch them eat
301
00:13:55,186 --> 00:13:58,020
and then I'm picturing them on the toilet
302
00:13:58,073 --> 00:14:01,190
pooping later and it makes me sick.
303
00:14:01,192 --> 00:14:03,609
It's like hot dog in, hot dog out.
304
00:14:03,661 --> 00:14:06,028
Ew, yeah. I don't take it that far.
305
00:14:06,030 --> 00:14:08,531
Drink up.
306
00:14:08,583 --> 00:14:09,782
Mm.
307
00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:11,868
Get us more drinks.
308
00:14:11,870 --> 00:14:16,005
Okay, but what I said wasn't
that different from what you said.
309
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,291
Two more drinks. Get whiskey.
310
00:14:18,343 --> 00:14:21,094
He was like, "That's definitely a ghost."
311
00:14:21,129 --> 00:14:23,629
[laughs] Oh, Jim, this is Hershel.
312
00:14:23,681 --> 00:14:25,598
- He's a friend of Walter's.
- Oh, hey, man.
313
00:14:25,633 --> 00:14:28,384
Hey, nice to meet you.
How do you know Walter?
314
00:14:28,436 --> 00:14:30,553
He's my sex and love addicts sponsor.
315
00:14:30,605 --> 00:14:33,055
He don't return calls,
but he's a really nice...
316
00:14:33,057 --> 00:14:35,391
oh, shit, I just spit in your mouth.
317
00:14:35,393 --> 00:14:37,727
I am so sorry. I hate when that happens.
318
00:14:37,779 --> 00:14:41,697
It's okay. I'm just gonna
get a drink and wash it down.
319
00:14:41,733 --> 00:14:43,900
- Are you okay? I'm really sorry.
- It's okay.
320
00:14:43,952 --> 00:14:46,319
It was just a little piece of hot dog, Jim.
321
00:14:46,371 --> 00:14:47,737
[groans]
322
00:14:47,739 --> 00:14:50,072
I put hot dogs in my mouth all the time.
323
00:14:50,074 --> 00:14:52,158
[indistinct chatter]
324
00:14:52,210 --> 00:14:53,576
Stan, what the hell are you doing?
325
00:14:53,628 --> 00:14:55,461
You're my guest here tonight.
326
00:14:55,497 --> 00:14:57,630
I feel more comfortable
behind the bar, Mr. Blunt.
327
00:14:57,665 --> 00:15:01,217
- Usual?
- Yes, thanks, Stan. You're too kind.
328
00:15:01,252 --> 00:15:03,052
- Oh, hi.
- How you doing? [laughs]
329
00:15:03,087 --> 00:15:06,672
- Can I get a vodka soda and a water, please?
- Sure.
330
00:15:06,724 --> 00:15:08,558
You sure you're okay with Moby DJing?
331
00:15:08,593 --> 00:15:11,260
Yes, I accept your relationship.
332
00:15:11,312 --> 00:15:14,814
Mr. and Mrs. Blunt.
Thank you for having me.
333
00:15:14,849 --> 00:15:17,517
I've never socialized with
parents of my students before.
334
00:15:17,569 --> 00:15:19,435
Oh, well, I hope it's
not too inappropriate.
335
00:15:19,487 --> 00:15:22,071
Oh, it might be, but I like it.
336
00:15:22,106 --> 00:15:23,489
It's an honor to meet you.
337
00:15:23,525 --> 00:15:25,274
As a producer of high-end erotica,
338
00:15:25,326 --> 00:15:27,276
I am also against genital mutilation.
339
00:15:27,278 --> 00:15:30,112
If you don't mind, I'd rather
not talk shop at a party.
340
00:15:30,165 --> 00:15:33,032
- [laughs] Yeah.
- Hey, have you guys seen Celia?
341
00:15:33,084 --> 00:15:34,784
[softly] No.
342
00:15:34,836 --> 00:15:37,787
- You know what I mean?
- Yes. Finally, some...
343
00:15:37,789 --> 00:15:39,455
you know, look, when it comes to sex
344
00:15:39,507 --> 00:15:41,174
it's like I'm spinning a roulette wheel.
345
00:15:41,209 --> 00:15:43,342
I mean, I've tried every
perversion at least once.
346
00:15:43,378 --> 00:15:46,295
For years I was a sub then a cross-dresser.
347
00:15:46,347 --> 00:15:47,513
And now I'm an exhibitionist.
348
00:15:47,549 --> 00:15:50,299
Oh, my God, I love how open you are.
349
00:15:50,301 --> 00:15:52,218
You know, I came here
hoping to meet a girl,
350
00:15:52,270 --> 00:15:54,303
but I am happy to meet an open guy.
351
00:15:54,305 --> 00:15:57,023
Well, I mean, for me,
straight sex is the kinkiest.
352
00:15:57,058 --> 00:15:59,475
I mean, intimacy between a man and a woman?
353
00:15:59,477 --> 00:16:02,144
- Mm-hmm.
- Affection, kissing?
354
00:16:02,197 --> 00:16:05,448
Whoo, ain't that some sick action.
355
00:16:05,483 --> 00:16:06,949
- Yeah.
- You know what?
356
00:16:06,985 --> 00:16:09,902
- To straight sex.
- To straight sex.
357
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:13,487
Thanks, Jim. I need a fresh one.
358
00:16:13,489 --> 00:16:16,206
Uh, no, that was for Celia.
359
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:19,660
So why are you going on the
Appalachian Trail for your vacation?
360
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:22,129
[laughs] I just need to walk and think
361
00:16:22,164 --> 00:16:24,798
and, mm, figure out my life.
362
00:16:24,834 --> 00:16:26,467
I mean, I'm almost 28.
363
00:16:26,502 --> 00:16:29,219
- Hello, Martin.
- Rosalie.
364
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:32,005
Uh, Rosalie, this is Rosalie.
365
00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:34,007
- What?
- I know, it's weird.
366
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:36,393
You're only the third
other Rosalie I've ever met.
367
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,979
Well, it's very nice to meet you.
368
00:16:39,014 --> 00:16:41,432
Any friend of Martin's is a friend of mine.
369
00:16:41,484 --> 00:16:44,234
Uh, you two have fun now, okay?
370
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:47,404
Actually, we're going to go,
371
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,990
but is all this okay?
372
00:16:50,025 --> 00:16:52,743
Of course, darling. Mwah.
373
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:55,112
- It's fine.
- [chuckles] Okay.
374
00:17:11,881 --> 00:17:13,347
WEISS: Hey, is everything all right?
375
00:17:13,382 --> 00:17:16,133
You want to talk or do
you want to do a line?
376
00:17:16,185 --> 00:17:18,302
Both?
377
00:17:18,354 --> 00:17:19,887
Hey, hey, hey.
378
00:17:19,889 --> 00:17:20,938
Hey, man.
379
00:17:23,025 --> 00:17:26,527
As a musician, you must have
had a lot of success with women.
380
00:17:26,562 --> 00:17:29,062
At one time, yes.
381
00:17:29,064 --> 00:17:32,533
- I peaked in 1988.
- Oh, I see.
382
00:17:32,568 --> 00:17:35,903
Well, the Major described a good orgasm
383
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:39,490
like a red comet followed by a black abyss.
384
00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:41,208
Was that your experience?
385
00:17:41,243 --> 00:17:42,743
That's not how I'd put it.
386
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:45,746
For me it was like a pitcher of water
387
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:48,582
you pour off a high balcony.
388
00:17:48,584 --> 00:17:51,301
[whispering] In Paris.
389
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:53,887
In the 16th arrondissement.
390
00:17:53,923 --> 00:17:55,088
[whispers] Wow.
391
00:17:55,090 --> 00:17:58,809
Hi, Harry. This is my mom Nora.
392
00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:00,978
It's so nice to finally meet you.
393
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:02,763
Nice to meet you.
394
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:05,599
But excuse me, ladies.
There's something I have to do.
395
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,234
I'll leave you in Phil's capable hands.
396
00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:10,437
[chuckles]
397
00:18:10,439 --> 00:18:12,823
♪ Turn the music up... ♪
398
00:18:12,858 --> 00:18:14,107
Excuse me.
399
00:18:14,109 --> 00:18:15,826
[stammers] Oh, just...
400
00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:20,497
What are you doing here?
401
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:23,283
- I received an invitation.
- A mistake was made.
402
00:18:23,285 --> 00:18:26,620
You were very rude to the
Major and are not welcome here.
403
00:18:26,622 --> 00:18:29,456
Unhand me. I'm a member of the press
404
00:18:29,458 --> 00:18:31,041
and this is my tennis elbow.
405
00:18:31,093 --> 00:18:33,877
- I don't give a flying...
- What's going on, Harry?
406
00:18:33,929 --> 00:18:36,463
I found this spy on the premises, sir.
407
00:18:36,465 --> 00:18:38,465
And I'm giving him the boot.
408
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:41,351
I received an invitation, Mr. Blunt.
409
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:43,604
And so I thought
you had forgiven me.
410
00:18:43,639 --> 00:18:46,690
Also, you look like my father,
who is institutionalized
411
00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:48,942
when I was a child, so
if we could be friends...
412
00:18:48,978 --> 00:18:51,895
Oh, let him stay, Harry.
It's a party, after all.
413
00:18:51,947 --> 00:18:54,648
So I can stay?
414
00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:56,450
Thank you, friend.
415
00:18:56,485 --> 00:18:59,319
Ooh, a clown. I love clowns.
416
00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:00,537
Good-bye.
417
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,708
[quietly] He's a strange one.
418
00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:06,743
How are you feeling, Major?
419
00:19:06,795 --> 00:19:08,629
- Still a bit gloomy?
- Oh...
420
00:19:08,664 --> 00:19:11,298
Harry, come and get a drink with me.
421
00:19:11,333 --> 00:19:13,884
- Well...
- Go on, Harry. Have fun.
422
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:16,753
I'm fine. Look, I'm surrounded by friends.
423
00:19:16,805 --> 00:19:19,306
[indistinct chatter]
424
00:19:30,019 --> 00:19:31,235
[snaps fingers]
425
00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:32,903
Oh, my God.
426
00:19:34,690 --> 00:19:37,608
- I feel like King Arthur.
- Oh!
427
00:19:37,660 --> 00:19:39,576
Yeah! [applause]
428
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:42,579
Did you see that? Extraordinary.
429
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,164
Hey, Walter, have you seen Celia?
430
00:19:44,199 --> 00:19:46,783
Oh, I think she's over
there by the contortionist.
431
00:19:48,370 --> 00:19:50,420
[groans] Come on. Oh, no.
432
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,838
How do you think he does that?
433
00:19:51,874 --> 00:19:54,541
They lubricate their throats with Vaseline.
434
00:19:54,543 --> 00:19:56,043
How do they get the Vaseline in there?
435
00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:58,679
Oh, Lord, Jim, I don't know everything.
436
00:19:58,714 --> 00:20:00,764
Okay, thanks.
437
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:03,467
Hey, there you are.
438
00:20:03,519 --> 00:20:07,437
Hey, sorry, I lost you and your drink.
439
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,189
Yeah, well, I came right to the source.
440
00:20:09,224 --> 00:20:12,059
Here's my weird thing. I
get too drunk at parties.
441
00:20:12,061 --> 00:20:13,977
[softly] And I was born with a small tail,
442
00:20:14,029 --> 00:20:17,314
but my parents had it snipped off.
443
00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:18,732
You tell me something.
444
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,784
That's gonna be hard to top.
445
00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:22,903
- [laughs] Well, try.
- Um...
446
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:27,124
Uh, okay. Um...
447
00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:31,628
sometimes when I'm writing a
piece for the show at my desk,
448
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:33,880
I get nervous and then I'll look down
449
00:20:33,916 --> 00:20:36,333
and I realize that I'm...
450
00:20:36,385 --> 00:20:39,720
I'm squeezing my penis through
my pants like a little boy.
451
00:20:39,755 --> 00:20:41,338
[laughs] Really?
452
00:20:41,390 --> 00:20:43,140
That's adorable.
453
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,925
- You think so?
- Yeah.
454
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:47,728
Oh, God, I'm so drunk.
455
00:20:47,763 --> 00:20:49,896
I shouldn't have worn these heels.
456
00:20:49,932 --> 00:20:52,232
Oh, I just want to lie down.
457
00:20:53,902 --> 00:20:55,936
♪
458
00:20:55,938 --> 00:20:57,688
[indistinct chatter]
459
00:21:01,443 --> 00:21:02,993
Great party.
460
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:05,078
[whispers] Excellent clown.
461
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,284
♪ Say hello to your world ♪
462
00:21:11,286 --> 00:21:14,338
♪ Now's the time
to spread the love ♪
463
00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:17,040
♪ Say hello to your life ♪
464
00:21:17,092 --> 00:21:19,960
♪ Now's the time
to get it right ♪
465
00:21:19,962 --> 00:21:22,796
♪ Say hello
to your world ♪
466
00:21:22,848 --> 00:21:26,385
♪ Now's the time
to spread the love... ♪
467
00:21:26,437 --> 00:21:28,804
Oh hey, hey, hey...
468
00:21:30,190 --> 00:21:32,474
[laughs]
469
00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:36,645
- Sorry.
- Oops.
470
00:21:36,697 --> 00:21:38,146
[laughing]
471
00:21:38,198 --> 00:21:41,400
WEISS: You were saying? [snorting]
472
00:21:41,452 --> 00:21:43,785
[sniffs]
473
00:21:43,821 --> 00:21:45,487
[slurps]
474
00:21:45,489 --> 00:21:48,040
My first husband Joey,
475
00:21:48,075 --> 00:21:50,993
the one who died of
leukemia when we were 26...
476
00:21:50,995 --> 00:21:54,746
[sniffs] ...he was just like Martin.
477
00:21:54,798 --> 00:21:58,083
A romantic with a cleft chin, same nose.
478
00:21:58,135 --> 00:22:03,005
And for 40 years I've been mourning Joey
479
00:22:03,007 --> 00:22:07,759
and this other life we could have had.
480
00:22:07,811 --> 00:22:10,012
So when Joey died,
481
00:22:10,064 --> 00:22:12,931
that Rosalie died with him.
482
00:22:14,518 --> 00:22:17,653
But Martin somehow...
483
00:22:17,688 --> 00:22:21,023
he sort of brought her back to life.
484
00:22:21,025 --> 00:22:24,109
God damn it! We're in session!
485
00:22:24,161 --> 00:22:26,528
Oh, oh, sorry, Walter.
486
00:22:26,580 --> 00:22:29,197
No, no, no, no. I... I apologize.
487
00:22:30,367 --> 00:22:33,335
♪
488
00:22:38,592 --> 00:22:40,709
Good Lord.
489
00:22:40,711 --> 00:22:44,930
Oh, no. Now Walter's gonna think
something's going on between us.
490
00:22:44,965 --> 00:22:46,548
Well, I... I... I could go run after him
491
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,216
and just explain that you were drunk
492
00:22:48,268 --> 00:22:49,851
and I was helping you lay down.
493
00:22:49,887 --> 00:22:51,770
No, don't bother.
494
00:22:51,805 --> 00:22:53,305
But, you know what?
495
00:22:53,357 --> 00:22:55,724
I left my bag somewhere
and it's got my phone in it.
496
00:22:55,776 --> 00:22:57,442
Could you find it?
497
00:22:57,478 --> 00:23:01,229
It's burgundy with a gold
Moroccan design on it.
498
00:23:01,281 --> 00:23:02,898
Yeah, sure.
499
00:23:02,950 --> 00:23:04,816
Oh, thanks. You're a star. [chuckles]
500
00:23:04,868 --> 00:23:07,202
[kisses]
501
00:23:10,407 --> 00:23:12,574
I'll go find your purse.
502
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:26,421
[crowd shouting]
503
00:23:26,423 --> 00:23:28,223
[cracks]
504
00:23:36,984 --> 00:23:39,184
Hey. Hey. Hey, everybody.
505
00:23:39,236 --> 00:23:41,319
Everybody. Um, excuse me.
506
00:23:41,355 --> 00:23:43,772
Has anyone seen a burgundy purse...
507
00:23:43,824 --> 00:23:45,657
Are you out of your mind?
508
00:23:49,530 --> 00:23:51,279
[shouting continues]
509
00:23:51,331 --> 00:23:54,616
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
510
00:23:54,618 --> 00:23:56,118
[chanting continues]
511
00:23:56,170 --> 00:23:58,787
Hey, Walter, have you seen Celia's purse?
512
00:23:58,789 --> 00:24:01,089
Jim, I don't know everything.
513
00:24:01,125 --> 00:24:03,508
[chanting continues]
514
00:24:04,962 --> 00:24:06,294
What happened?
515
00:24:06,296 --> 00:24:09,297
Oh, just a cardiac event.
516
00:24:09,299 --> 00:24:12,300
That's how you know it's a good party.
517
00:24:12,352 --> 00:24:14,386
Oh, God, this is all my fault.
518
00:24:14,438 --> 00:24:16,805
Oh, don't beat yourself up, Walter.
519
00:24:16,857 --> 00:24:19,775
Not everything is your fault.
520
00:24:21,361 --> 00:24:23,645
I'll go with him to the hospital.
521
00:24:23,697 --> 00:24:25,147
Yeah. [sniffs]
522
00:24:25,149 --> 00:24:27,699
[shouting continues]
523
00:24:35,709 --> 00:24:37,542
- RONNIE: You got the strength,
you got the talent, Rita.- Ow! Ow!
524
00:24:37,578 --> 00:24:40,662
Tear her fucking arm off,
Rita! Tear her fucking arm off!
525
00:24:43,750 --> 00:24:47,419
[bones crack] She's half
your size, Rita. Come on! Come on!
526
00:24:47,471 --> 00:24:49,888
[screaming]
527
00:24:49,923 --> 00:24:52,307
[cheering]
528
00:24:52,342 --> 00:24:54,843
- What the fuck, Rita?
- Yes, I did it!
529
00:24:54,845 --> 00:24:57,512
Oh, shit. What a disappointment.
530
00:24:57,514 --> 00:25:00,348
- That is a tragedy, Rita.
- What happened?
531
00:25:00,350 --> 00:25:03,318
- That is a fucking tragedy right there.
- WOMAN: Bam!
532
00:25:03,353 --> 00:25:05,403
HERSHEL: In your face, Emeril.
533
00:25:05,439 --> 00:25:07,856
♪
534
00:25:07,908 --> 00:25:10,525
[indistinct chatter]
535
00:25:35,219 --> 00:25:38,270
Sorry that took so... ahem...
536
00:25:38,305 --> 00:25:40,105
[quietly] took so long.
537
00:25:53,904 --> 00:25:56,238
[sighs]
538
00:26:02,379 --> 00:26:04,829
I can't believe this is happening again.
539
00:26:04,882 --> 00:26:08,550
Well, in my business,
most of the guys are creeps
540
00:26:08,585 --> 00:26:11,720
and you were the nicest
guy I've met in a long time.
541
00:26:13,056 --> 00:26:15,090
[whispers] Oh, Sylvia.
542
00:26:15,092 --> 00:26:18,143
Also, I'm a size queen.
543
00:26:24,768 --> 00:26:26,851
[sighs]
544
00:26:31,825 --> 00:26:35,911
[grunts, exhales]
545
00:26:35,946 --> 00:26:38,613
♪
546
00:26:40,117 --> 00:26:42,033
[jet roaring]
547
00:26:42,085 --> 00:26:44,452
[gunfire]
548
00:26:47,257 --> 00:26:51,042
Major! Westhoff's hurt bad. I need help.
549
00:26:51,094 --> 00:26:53,712
Stay put. I'll be right there.
550
00:26:53,764 --> 00:26:55,797
Hurry.
551
00:26:55,799 --> 00:26:58,099
[gunfire]
552
00:26:58,135 --> 00:27:00,552
Major!
553
00:27:00,604 --> 00:27:03,021
Hold on, Harry. [bomb whistling]
554
00:27:06,109 --> 00:27:08,526
HARRY: Major!
555
00:27:14,401 --> 00:27:17,068
It's all right, Harry. I'm here.
556
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:20,038
[panting]
557
00:27:20,073 --> 00:27:21,656
You're gonna be fine.
558
00:27:21,658 --> 00:27:23,375
[groans]
559
00:27:23,410 --> 00:27:25,827
You didn't leave me.
560
00:27:25,879 --> 00:27:28,380
No, of course not.
561
00:27:28,415 --> 00:27:30,582
[gunfire continues]
562
00:27:31,918 --> 00:27:34,502
[explosion]
563
00:27:34,504 --> 00:27:37,589
[guests shouting, laughing]
564
00:27:37,641 --> 00:27:40,008
♪
565
00:27:45,816 --> 00:27:49,934
♪ If I was the fridge,
would you open the door? ♪
566
00:27:49,987 --> 00:27:51,820
[cheering]
567
00:27:51,855 --> 00:27:54,921
♪ If I was the grass,
would you mow your lawn? ♪
568
00:27:55,041 --> 00:27:58,292
Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
569
00:27:58,412 --> 00:28:00,587
♪ If I was your body,
would you still wear clothes? ♪
570
00:28:00,707 --> 00:28:04,449
SYLVIA: Oh, Harry,
it's true! It's true!
571
00:28:04,501 --> 00:28:08,003
♪ If I was a booger,
would you blow your nose? ♪
572
00:28:08,038 --> 00:28:11,306
♪ Where would you keep
it? Would you eat it? ♪
573
00:28:11,341 --> 00:28:14,943
♪ I'm just trying to
give myself a reason ♪
574
00:28:14,978 --> 00:28:17,712
♪ For being around ♪
575
00:28:22,319 --> 00:28:28,490
♪ If I was a front porch
swing, would you let me hang? ♪
576
00:28:28,542 --> 00:28:32,544
♪ If I was a dance floor,
would you shake your thing? ♪
577
00:28:34,297 --> 00:28:38,667
♪ If I was a rubber check,
would you let me bounce ♪
578
00:28:40,437 --> 00:28:44,939
♪ Up and down inside
your bank account? ♪
579
00:28:44,975 --> 00:28:48,410
♪ Would you trust me
not to break you? ♪
580
00:28:48,445 --> 00:28:52,013
♪ I'm just trying
really hard to make you ♪
581
00:28:52,049 --> 00:28:54,683
♪ Notice me
being around ♪
582
00:29:00,223 --> 00:29:04,526
♪ If I was the carpet,
would you wipe your feet? ♪
583
00:29:06,263 --> 00:29:11,232
♪ In time to save me
from mud off the street? ♪
584
00:29:11,268 --> 00:29:14,469
♪ If you like me,
if you love me ♪
585
00:29:14,504 --> 00:29:15,904
♪ Would you get down ♪
586
00:29:15,939 --> 00:29:19,074
♪ On your knees
and scrub me? ♪
587
00:29:19,109 --> 00:29:21,609
♪ I'm a little grubby ♪
588
00:29:21,645 --> 00:29:24,713
♪ From just being around. ♪