1
00:00:03,286 --> 00:00:04,981
Hmm.
2
00:00:05,288 --> 00:00:07,085
The problem appears to be unsolvable.
3
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,316
Maybe we could run
some computer simulations.
4
00:00:09,492 --> 00:00:11,756
There are many variables.
It would take forever.
5
00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:14,123
We've gotta be missing something.
6
00:00:14,297 --> 00:00:15,559
Okay. Let's start again.
7
00:00:15,732 --> 00:00:19,168
The movie is playing here at 7:20,
here at 7:40...
8
00:00:19,335 --> 00:00:21,599
...here at 8:10, and here at 8:45.
9
00:00:22,238 --> 00:00:24,638
All right.
These theaters have to be eliminated.
10
00:00:24,808 --> 00:00:28,266
Why? They're state of the art:
digital projection, surround sound.
11
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:31,107
Yes, but they have no Icee machines.
12
00:00:31,881 --> 00:00:35,009
Despite my aggressive
letter-writing campaign, I might add.
13
00:00:35,719 --> 00:00:38,620
What about the multiplex here?
The seats are terrific.
14
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:43,521
They have Twizzlers instead of Red Vines.
No lumbar support can compensate for that.
15
00:00:44,527 --> 00:00:48,258
It's gonna take an hour to eat and I don't
see a Sheldon-approved restaurant...
16
00:00:48,431 --> 00:00:50,831
...proximate
to a Sheldon-approved theater.
17
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,491
-We could eat after the movie.
-Unacceptable.
18
00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:57,162
The delay would result in tomorrow
morning's bowel movement at work.
19
00:00:58,441 --> 00:01:01,501
Hang on, hang on.
There's a 7-Eleven here.
20
00:01:01,678 --> 00:01:05,273
We smuggle Slurpees, which are
essentially Icees, in under our coats...
21
00:01:05,448 --> 00:01:09,851
...after having a pleasant meal
either here, here or here.
22
00:01:10,353 --> 00:01:11,377
Wow.
23
00:01:11,554 --> 00:01:13,545
-I don't see how we missed that.
SHELDON: Excuse me?
24
00:01:13,723 --> 00:01:17,318
In what universe are Slurpees Icees?
25
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:20,595
That's how we missed it.
26
00:01:20,997 --> 00:01:23,625
Would you be prepared,
on a non-precedential basis...
27
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,667
...to create an emergency
ad hoc Slurpee-lcee equivalency?
28
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:30,169
Oh, Leonard, you know I can't do that.
29
00:01:31,474 --> 00:01:33,533
Okay, I guess we only have one option.
30
00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:35,337
Yup, I don't see any way around it.
31
00:01:36,479 --> 00:01:37,537
-Bye, Sheldon.
-See you.
32
00:01:37,714 --> 00:01:39,147
Later, dude.
33
00:01:45,255 --> 00:01:47,018
They're right. It was the only option.
34
00:02:16,486 --> 00:02:18,454
-Oh. Oh. Shut the door, Shut the door.
-Why?
35
00:02:18,621 --> 00:02:20,213
Just do it.
36
00:02:24,460 --> 00:02:27,429
-Get inside and shut the door.
-Well, you didn't specify.
37
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:33,733
-Is Leonard around?
-He went to the movies without me.
38
00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:36,201
It was the only option.
39
00:02:44,514 --> 00:02:47,813
I'm sorry, I don't know understand
which social situation this is.
40
00:02:47,984 --> 00:02:50,111
Could you give me some guidance
how to proceed?
41
00:02:50,286 --> 00:02:51,310
[SIGHS]
42
00:02:51,487 --> 00:02:53,717
The building manager's showing
an apartment downstairs...
43
00:02:53,890 --> 00:02:57,291
-...and I haven't paid my rent.
-Oh, I see.
44
00:02:57,627 --> 00:02:59,618
I'm not comfortable harboring
a fugitive...
45
00:02:59,796 --> 00:03:02,663
...from the 2311
North Los Robles Corporation.
46
00:03:03,066 --> 00:03:05,626
It's no big deal.
I'm just a little behind on my bills.
47
00:03:05,802 --> 00:03:08,703
They cut back my hours
at the restaurant and my car broke down.
48
00:03:08,872 --> 00:03:10,066
If you recall...
49
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:14,040
...I pointed out the "check engine" light
to you several months ago.
50
00:03:14,477 --> 00:03:18,937
No, the "check engine" light is fine.
It's still blinking away.
51
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:22,149
It's the stupid engine
that stopped working.
52
00:03:22,886 --> 00:03:25,116
It cost me, like, $ 1200 to fix it.
53
00:03:26,155 --> 00:03:30,956
You know, it occurs to me. You could solve
all your problems by obtaining more money.
54
00:03:34,063 --> 00:03:36,861
Yes, it occurs to me too.
55
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,631
Hang on a moment.
56
00:03:44,007 --> 00:03:45,599
[PENNY GASPS]
57
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,007
Here. Take some.
58
00:03:51,381 --> 00:03:52,905
Pay me back when you can.
59
00:03:53,082 --> 00:03:54,811
Wow, you got a lot of money in there.
60
00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:57,418
That's why it's guarded by snakes.
61
00:04:00,056 --> 00:04:01,819
-Take some.
-Don't be silly.
62
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:03,720
I'm never silly.
63
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,353
-Here.
-No, I can't.
64
00:04:07,530 --> 00:04:09,395
-Don't you need money?
-Well, yeah, but--
65
00:04:09,565 --> 00:04:10,930
This is money I'm not using.
66
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:12,260
But what if you need it?
67
00:04:12,435 --> 00:04:16,269
My expenses account for 46.9 percent
of my after-tax income.
68
00:04:16,439 --> 00:04:19,101
The rest is divvied up
between a small savings account...
69
00:04:19,275 --> 00:04:21,470
...this deceptive container
of peanut brittle...
70
00:04:21,644 --> 00:04:24,738
...and the hollowed-out buttocks
of a superhero action figure...
71
00:04:24,914 --> 00:04:28,008
...who shall remain nameless
for his own protection.
72
00:04:30,153 --> 00:04:33,680
Or her own protection.
73
00:04:36,259 --> 00:04:38,955
-Take some.
-Really? I mean, are you sure?
74
00:04:39,128 --> 00:04:41,028
I see no large upcoming expenditures.
75
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:43,631
Unless they develop technology
to fuse my skeleton...
76
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,394
...with Adamantium like Wolverine.
77
00:04:47,603 --> 00:04:49,935
Are they working on that?
78
00:04:50,106 --> 00:04:52,301
I sincerely hope so.
79
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:58,010
Okay. Well, thank you.
80
00:05:01,617 --> 00:05:03,847
Hmm.
81
00:05:11,794 --> 00:05:13,159
Hmm.
82
00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:16,592
Ah, hmm.
83
00:05:20,703 --> 00:05:21,965
Oh, God, no, I can't.
84
00:05:22,138 --> 00:05:25,164
Look, Sheldon, honey, I don't want things
to be weird between us.
85
00:05:25,341 --> 00:05:28,936
Won't it also be weird if I have to say
hello to you on my way to work...
86
00:05:29,112 --> 00:05:32,980
...and you're living in a refrigerator box
and washing your hair with rain water?
87
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,180
I'll pay you back as soon as I can.
88
00:05:36,352 --> 00:05:37,819
Of course you will.
89
00:05:38,321 --> 00:05:40,653
It's impossible to pay me back
sooner than you can.
90
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:45,990
Assuming you've subscribed to a linear
understanding of time and causality.
91
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,697
I'm regretting this already.
92
00:05:53,336 --> 00:05:56,032
You know,
I've given the matter some thought...
93
00:05:56,205 --> 00:06:00,699
...and I think I'd be willing to be a house
pet to a race of super-intelligent aliens.
94
00:06:02,845 --> 00:06:04,437
Interesting.
95
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,514
Ask me why.
96
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:08,774
Do I have to?
97
00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:11,647
Of course. That's how you move
a conversation forward.
98
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:13,748
Why?
99
00:06:13,923 --> 00:06:16,255
The learning opportunities
would be abundant.
100
00:06:16,426 --> 00:06:17,518
Additionally...
101
00:06:17,693 --> 00:06:20,287
...I like having my belly scratched.
102
00:06:22,532 --> 00:06:24,466
-Hey, Penny. How was work?
-Great.
103
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:28,627
I hope I'm a waitress at
the Cheesecake Factory for my whole life.
104
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,170
Was that sarcasm?
105
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:31,966
No.
106
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:33,335
Was that sarcasm?
107
00:06:33,776 --> 00:06:35,266
Yes.
108
00:06:35,445 --> 00:06:37,675
-Was that sarcasm?
-Stop it.
109
00:06:39,115 --> 00:06:40,480
Penny?
110
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,880
-You appear to have a package here.
-Oh, thanks.
111
00:06:43,052 --> 00:06:44,644
It must be the beret I ordered.
112
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:47,551
A couple of months ago.
It was back-ordered.
113
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:50,057
Did you know the beret
is an example...
114
00:06:50,226 --> 00:06:53,821
...of a piece of women's fashion
adapted from male military uniforms?
115
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:57,830
Another fascinating example
is the epaulet.
116
00:06:59,202 --> 00:07:02,399
He's not lying.
He does find that fascinating.
117
00:07:03,306 --> 00:07:04,500
Okay, look, whatever.
118
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:07,666
It's not like I'm running up and down
the streets buying berets.
119
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:11,075
I bought one a month ago
when it was back-ordered. It finally arrived.
120
00:07:11,247 --> 00:07:12,680
-All right?
-All right.
121
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,613
Oh, my God,
would you just get off my case?
122
00:07:18,387 --> 00:07:20,048
-Weird.
-Oh, good.
123
00:07:20,223 --> 00:07:23,454
That was an unusual interaction.
I wasn't sure.
124
00:07:24,727 --> 00:07:27,525
-You guys have an argument?
-No.
125
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,325
You clearly did something
to aggravate her.
126
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:31,899
SHELDON:
I'm at a loss.
127
00:07:32,068 --> 00:07:36,027
If you like, you can review my daily log
of social interactions...
128
00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:39,072
...and see if there's a blunder
I overlooked.
129
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,635
Here you go.
130
00:07:41,811 --> 00:07:44,712
Oh, you owe me another $2.
The price of moo shu pork went up.
131
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:45,905
[SIGHS]
132
00:07:46,082 --> 00:07:49,415
It's getting tougher and tougher
to be a bad Jew.
133
00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:53,146
Here you go, Penny.
Shrimp with lobster sauce.
134
00:07:53,322 --> 00:07:54,619
Thank you. What's my share?
135
00:07:54,790 --> 00:07:58,385
-Uh, don't worry about it. It's my treat.
-No, really. How much?
136
00:07:58,561 --> 00:07:59,823
It's whatever. Ten, $ 11.
137
00:07:59,996 --> 00:08:01,725
Well, which is it? Ten or 11 ?
138
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,889
Fourteen-fifty. But it's no biggie.
139
00:08:04,534 --> 00:08:06,468
You'll get the next one.
140
00:08:06,636 --> 00:08:08,661
[BOTH LAUGH]
141
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:10,497
What?
142
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:14,401
He was just wondering
if he wore skintight jeans and a tank top...
143
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:17,569
...if he'd get his shrimp lo mein for free.
144
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:22,278
What are you saying?
That I'm using my body to get dinner?
145
00:08:22,451 --> 00:08:24,942
That I'm some sort of
Chinese food prostitute?
146
00:08:27,490 --> 00:08:29,958
Yeah, Raj, what are you saying?
147
00:08:30,126 --> 00:08:32,924
Let me tell you something,
I pay my own way in this world.
148
00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:34,426
I don't rely on anybody.
149
00:08:40,903 --> 00:08:43,167
-What was that about?
-He has a nervous bladder...
150
00:08:43,339 --> 00:08:45,534
...when he's stressed out.
151
00:08:46,642 --> 00:08:48,837
Kind of like a puppy.
152
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:53,776
Here, Leonard. Ten, 11, uh, 12-- $ 14.
153
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,945
It's 14.50, but it's okay.
154
00:08:58,221 --> 00:08:59,882
Oh, good. Dinner's here.
155
00:09:00,056 --> 00:09:02,490
Yes, dinner's here.
And I'm having takeout food.
156
00:09:02,658 --> 00:09:04,285
-Okay.
-You're damn right it's okay.
157
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:08,692
I've been having leftovers for four days and
I wanted something different. So sue me.
158
00:09:08,864 --> 00:09:13,460
Forgive me, Penny, but that would be
the very definition of a frivolous lawsuit.
159
00:09:14,370 --> 00:09:17,533
I will pay you back as soon as I can.
You just have to give me time.
160
00:09:17,707 --> 00:09:20,267
-Oh, wait. You lent her money?
-She needed money.
161
00:09:20,443 --> 00:09:23,742
You seem under pressure.
Did I not lend you a sufficient amount?
162
00:09:23,913 --> 00:09:25,039
I can give you more.
163
00:09:25,214 --> 00:09:29,412
Oh, you know, you would just love that,
wouldn't you?
164
00:09:29,585 --> 00:09:30,711
Yeah.
165
00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:33,986
You would just love to open up
your little snake can...
166
00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:37,023
...and throw some money at the girl
who can't pay her bills.
167
00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:38,484
[SIGHS]
168
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,185
-Where are you going?
-Going home.
169
00:09:40,363 --> 00:09:43,196
Where I won't be interrogated
like a criminal.
170
00:09:48,137 --> 00:09:50,731
I forgot my fortune cookie.
171
00:09:54,577 --> 00:09:56,909
In case either of you
have larceny in your heart...
172
00:09:57,079 --> 00:10:00,173
...you should know that I've moved
my money out of the snake can.
173
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:07,717
But if you're ever short, there's always
a couple of 50's in Green Lantern's ass.
174
00:10:14,930 --> 00:10:15,954
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
175
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,732
-Hey.
-Hey.
176
00:10:19,902 --> 00:10:21,927
A little mood lighting, huh?
177
00:10:22,104 --> 00:10:25,335
Yeah. When I didn't pay my bill,
the Department of Water and Power...
178
00:10:25,508 --> 00:10:28,238
...thought I would enjoy the ambience.
179
00:10:28,978 --> 00:10:31,879
Yeah, they're very considerate that way.
180
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:36,212
I used Sheldon's money to pay my rent.
Then I had, like, $ 14 left over.
181
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:39,854
Fourteen dollars, huh?
182
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:43,555
Put it back in your pocket
or I'll find another place to put it.
183
00:10:44,694 --> 00:10:47,060
Back in the pocket it goes.
184
00:10:47,496 --> 00:10:51,091
Look, you do understand that Sheldon
doesn't care when he gets the money back.
185
00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:53,428
It's actually one
of the few idiosyncrasies...
186
00:10:53,602 --> 00:10:56,594
...that doesn't make you wanna,
you know, kill him.
187
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,473
Yeah, well,
that's not really my big problem.
188
00:10:59,642 --> 00:11:02,907
You're a little behind on your bills.
Everybody gets behind on bills.
189
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,240
Yeah, I know, it's just--
This wasn't the plan.
190
00:11:05,648 --> 00:11:07,240
It wasn't supposed to go this way.
191
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,646
Hey, well, what was the plan?
192
00:11:09,819 --> 00:11:13,118
Um, waitress for six months
and then become a movie star.
193
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,118
Uh-huh.
194
00:11:16,292 --> 00:11:17,452
Was there a Plan B?
195
00:11:17,626 --> 00:11:19,253
TV star.
196
00:11:21,163 --> 00:11:24,064
Well, it's probably not as bad as you think.
Let's take a look.
197
00:11:24,233 --> 00:11:26,701
Maybe we can find some corners to cut.
198
00:11:26,869 --> 00:11:28,200
Oh, here's something.
199
00:11:28,371 --> 00:11:32,000
If you don't have electricity,
then you probably don't need cable.
200
00:11:34,310 --> 00:11:36,676
Just a suggestion.
201
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,446
A hundred and seventy dollars
for acting classes?
202
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:43,813
Oh, no, I can't give up my acting classes.
I'm a professional actress.
203
00:11:43,986 --> 00:11:45,010
Oh.
204
00:11:45,187 --> 00:11:46,814
You had an acting job
where you got paid?
205
00:11:46,989 --> 00:11:48,013
[SCOFFS]
206
00:11:48,190 --> 00:11:50,750
That is not the definition of professional.
207
00:11:54,163 --> 00:11:56,222
Actually, it kind of is. Let's keep looking.
208
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,196
Whoa.
209
00:12:00,369 --> 00:12:03,998
What's $ 1800
to the Los Angeles County Superior Court?
210
00:12:04,173 --> 00:12:05,834
Oh, that's nothing.
211
00:12:06,008 --> 00:12:07,032
Nothing?
212
00:12:07,209 --> 00:12:12,169
It sounds like you got caught speeding
going 4000-miles an hour.
213
00:12:12,748 --> 00:12:14,079
Well, remember Kurt?
214
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,343
Your ex-boyfriend?
215
00:12:16,519 --> 00:12:19,818
Yeah, he got arrested
for taking a whiz on a cop car.
216
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,047
-What?
-He was drunk.
217
00:12:21,724 --> 00:12:23,885
I would hope so.
218
00:12:24,059 --> 00:12:27,620
He had a bunch of outstanding tickets
and a bench warrant, so l--
219
00:12:27,797 --> 00:12:29,355
You know, I paid his fines.
220
00:12:29,532 --> 00:12:30,590
Did he pay you back?
221
00:12:30,766 --> 00:12:31,824
No, but he will.
222
00:12:32,435 --> 00:12:35,336
And that's based
on the inherent credit-worthiness...
223
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:39,201
...of people who get drunk
and urinate on police vehicles?
224
00:12:39,375 --> 00:12:42,572
Leonard, I'm not gonna call up Kurt
and ask him for money.
225
00:12:42,745 --> 00:12:43,905
Oh?
226
00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:45,574
What are you gonna do?
227
00:12:45,748 --> 00:12:48,911
I don't know but I might have to find
a cheaper place to live.
228
00:12:49,084 --> 00:12:50,881
Oh, no.
229
00:12:52,254 --> 00:12:54,381
No, you don't wanna do that.
230
00:12:54,557 --> 00:12:55,581
Why not?
231
00:12:55,758 --> 00:12:58,283
Uh, moving is a big deal.
232
00:12:58,461 --> 00:13:02,727
Uh, you-- You have to go
to the supermarket and get boxes...
233
00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:06,527
...and if they're not clean
then your books smell like melons and it's--
234
00:13:08,103 --> 00:13:10,435
Why don't you just get a roommate
and stay here?
235
00:13:10,606 --> 00:13:11,903
Well, do you know anybody?
236
00:13:12,074 --> 00:13:16,511
Well, I'm sure the guy living with Sheldon
wouldn't mind moving in with you.
237
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:21,641
Oh, Leonard, honey,
if we started living together...
238
00:13:21,817 --> 00:13:24,809
...I wouldn't be able
to keep my hands off you.
239
00:13:27,122 --> 00:13:28,555
Really?
240
00:13:30,125 --> 00:13:33,117
And you thought my acting lessons
were a waste of money.
241
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:42,327
Ugh. This moo shu pork's burning a hole
through my duodenum.
242
00:13:43,372 --> 00:13:46,102
Tsk, tsk. Leviticus 11:3.
243
00:13:46,275 --> 00:13:51,269
That which parteth the hoof and cheweth
the cud among the beasts shall ye eat.
244
00:13:53,349 --> 00:13:57,945
Hey, do I mock you with the Bhagavad Gita
every time you scarf down a Whopper?
245
00:14:02,725 --> 00:14:06,593
-Hey, what's going on?
-We're on a quest to the Valley of Fire.
246
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:09,526
You want the Valley of Fire?
It's right here.
247
00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:13,424
Hey, you guys wanna go
on a real live quest?
248
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:15,968
Outside? I just made cocoa.
249
00:14:17,206 --> 00:14:18,468
Oh, come on, it'll be fun.
250
00:14:18,641 --> 00:14:20,006
What is it?
251
00:14:20,175 --> 00:14:22,439
Do you guys remember
Penny's ex-boyfriend Kurt?
252
00:14:25,848 --> 00:14:26,872
Yeah, that's him.
253
00:14:27,049 --> 00:14:31,509
Uh, it turns out he owes Penny a lot
of money and I'm gonna go get it from him.
254
00:14:31,687 --> 00:14:33,382
Who's with me?
255
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,957
Ooh, double sixes.
256
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,619
Really?
You're just gonna let me go by myself?
257
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:44,197
Oh, cool, I got a sword.
258
00:14:44,366 --> 00:14:46,129
I could use some help.
259
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:47,735
Here.
260
00:14:49,505 --> 00:14:50,938
You guys are unbelievable.
261
00:14:51,106 --> 00:14:54,269
You play a game to simulate adventure,
but when there's adventure...
262
00:14:54,443 --> 00:14:56,570
...in the real world you just wimp out.
263
00:14:56,745 --> 00:14:59,805
Leonard, do you not recall the last time
we visited this gentleman?
264
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,507
We returned home without pants.
265
00:15:04,186 --> 00:15:06,051
-I do.
-Are you sure?
266
00:15:06,221 --> 00:15:08,485
Because your proposal suggests
that you don't.
267
00:15:08,857 --> 00:15:09,983
I'm not afraid of him.
268
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,559
All right.
Leonard fairly calls the question:
269
00:15:12,728 --> 00:15:14,923
Who is in favor
of abandoning our game...
270
00:15:15,097 --> 00:15:17,895
...and confronting
Penny's steroid-infused ex-boyfriend...
271
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:21,503
...in a suicidal mission
to extract money from him?
272
00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:26,106
Say hi to Kurt for us.
273
00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:28,501
Excuse me.
274
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:31,373
When Frodo left the Shire
to take the one ring to Mordor...
275
00:15:31,547 --> 00:15:33,515
...didn't Samwise, Pippin and Merry go?
276
00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:34,876
-They did.
-Well?
277
00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:37,518
They had a terrible time of it, Leonard.
278
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:41,622
Plus, no one stole their pants.
279
00:15:42,658 --> 00:15:43,716
Fine.
280
00:15:43,892 --> 00:15:47,259
Enjoy your little game.
I'll make this quest on my own.
281
00:15:47,429 --> 00:15:48,623
Leonard, wait.
282
00:15:48,797 --> 00:15:51,561
Take a jacket, it's shpritzing a little.
283
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:54,525
You guys suck.
284
00:15:57,473 --> 00:15:59,634
Come on, please. He's so big.
285
00:16:02,444 --> 00:16:06,244
-Okay, is everyone clear on the plan?
-Yes. Koothrappali's going to wet himself...
286
00:16:06,415 --> 00:16:10,215
...l'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's
gonna run away, and you're going to die.
287
00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:14,084
Shall we synchronize our watches?
288
00:16:14,256 --> 00:16:16,724
Guys, there are four of us
and one of him.
289
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:19,759
Which means his triumph
will be even larger.
290
00:16:20,796 --> 00:16:23,424
Minstrels will write songs about him.
291
00:16:23,599 --> 00:16:27,330
Okay, how about this? I'll do the talking,
you stand behind me and try to look...
292
00:16:27,503 --> 00:16:28,663
...formidable.
293
00:16:34,476 --> 00:16:36,706
I should've peed before we left.
294
00:16:38,547 --> 00:16:39,571
Yeah?
295
00:16:43,318 --> 00:16:45,479
-Hi, Kurt.
-Lenny, right?
296
00:16:46,055 --> 00:16:49,252
I don't really go by Lenny,
but that's okay. Um....
297
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:52,155
You remember Sheldon, Howard and Raj.
298
00:16:52,695 --> 00:16:54,322
No.
299
00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:56,757
-What do you want?
-You don't remember me?
300
00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:59,093
-How could he not remember?
-Sheldon, not now.
301
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,099
I remember him.
302
00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:04,468
Okay, here it is.
Penny's in kind of a financial jam...
303
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:08,007
...and the money you owe her would
go a long way to solving her problems.
304
00:17:08,177 --> 00:17:12,546
-And she sent you to get it from me?
-No, she's too proud to ask for the money.
305
00:17:12,715 --> 00:17:15,513
I, on the other hand,
feel you should honor your debt.
306
00:17:15,684 --> 00:17:17,151
You do?
307
00:17:20,689 --> 00:17:23,283
"Feel" is kind of a--
It's a strong word. Uh....
308
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:26,121
But I just-- I think it'd be a nice gesture
on your part.
309
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,354
She'll get it when she gets it.
310
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:35,665
Well, there you go. Problem solved.
311
00:17:36,171 --> 00:17:40,130
A successful quest. Now let's find
a gas station with a clean bathroom.
312
00:17:40,743 --> 00:17:42,711
No, the problem isn't solved.
313
00:17:42,878 --> 00:17:43,970
He just blew us off.
314
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,046
I've got it.
315
00:17:46,215 --> 00:17:50,413
He didn't remember me, because the last
time we met I was in a Halloween costume.
316
00:17:52,187 --> 00:17:55,088
-Come on, Leonard, let's go.
-No. You can leave if you want to.
317
00:17:55,257 --> 00:17:58,420
-I'm gonna see this through.
-Okay.
318
00:18:03,966 --> 00:18:06,696
I guess technically that was my fault.
319
00:18:12,741 --> 00:18:14,709
I'm not leaving here
without Penny's money.
320
00:18:16,278 --> 00:18:18,473
What happened to your backup?
321
00:18:19,214 --> 00:18:21,148
I don't need backup.
322
00:18:21,316 --> 00:18:22,783
I have right on my side.
323
00:18:27,756 --> 00:18:30,850
And I'm wearing cargo shorts
under my pants.
324
00:18:33,462 --> 00:18:34,929
Congratulations.
325
00:18:35,097 --> 00:18:37,190
You may not have succeeded
in getting cash...
326
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:40,267
...but you did secure
a formal acknowledgment of the debt.
327
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:49,040
Maybe we should have your head
notarized.
328
00:18:51,580 --> 00:18:54,549
If anybody cares, I still have to pee.
329
00:19:00,856 --> 00:19:02,346
Hey.
330
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:05,553
-Is Sheldon here?
-Yeah, hang on.
331
00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:06,785
Sheldon.
332
00:19:06,962 --> 00:19:08,691
-Nice hat.
-You know?
333
00:19:08,864 --> 00:19:11,958
It's kind of a fashionable look
these days.
334
00:19:12,134 --> 00:19:15,103
Maybe if you're working on a tuna boat.
335
00:19:15,604 --> 00:19:17,970
-Hello, Penny.
-Sheldon, here is your money.
336
00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:20,074
Thank you very much, it helped a lot.
337
00:19:20,709 --> 00:19:22,540
Sarcasm?
338
00:19:23,278 --> 00:19:24,506
-No.
-Darn.
339
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,012
I can't seem to get the hang of that.
340
00:19:28,016 --> 00:19:31,577
Hey, I know it's none of my business,
but where did the money come from?
341
00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:33,846
Well, I cut back my expenses
like you said...
342
00:19:34,022 --> 00:19:36,115
...and picked up more hours
at the restaurant.
343
00:19:36,291 --> 00:19:38,953
The biggest thing was, out of the blue,
Kurt shows up...
344
00:19:39,127 --> 00:19:40,822
...and gives me the money he owes me.
345
00:19:40,996 --> 00:19:42,020
[PENNY CHUCKLES]
346
00:19:42,197 --> 00:19:43,255
Really?
347
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:45,696
Did he say why?
348
00:19:45,868 --> 00:19:49,929
Yes. He said he was feeling guilty
and wanted to do what was right.
349
00:19:51,139 --> 00:19:52,936
[PENNY CHUCKLES]
350
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,769
That's it?
351
00:19:56,111 --> 00:20:01,048
Did he give any reason
as to why he came to this moral epiphany?
352
00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:04,713
Nope. I just think he's really changed.
353
00:20:07,155 --> 00:20:10,352
We're having dinner tomorrow night.
And I get to wear my new beret. Ha, ha.
354
00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:12,956
Bye, guys.
355
00:20:13,195 --> 00:20:14,685
Bye.
356
00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:21,527
Well done, Leonard.
357
00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:25,235
The true hero doesn't seek adulation.
358
00:20:25,407 --> 00:20:29,070
He fights for right and justice
simply because it's his nature.
359
00:20:29,511 --> 00:20:31,979
Penny's hooking up
with her jerk of an ex-boyfriend...
360
00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:35,378
...and I have indelible ink
on my forehead.
361
00:20:35,550 --> 00:20:39,577
That's your badge of honor. They're your,
uh, warrior's wound, if you will.
362
00:20:39,755 --> 00:20:41,245
I was wrong.
363
00:20:41,423 --> 00:20:44,586
Minstrels will write songs about you.
364
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:47,920
Great.
365
00:20:48,096 --> 00:20:51,793
[SINGING]
There once was a brave lad named Leonard
366
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,128
With a fi-fi-fiddle dee-dee
367
00:20:55,304 --> 00:20:58,137
He faced a fearsome giant
368
00:20:58,307 --> 00:21:01,743
While Raj just wanted to pee
369
00:21:30,172 --> 00:21:32,163
[ENGLISH SDH]