1 00:00:04,300 --> 00:00:06,730 Hello, everyone! I'm back! 2 00:00:06,780 --> 00:00:09,330 Brrrrr! Always cold -- isn't it? -- 3 00:00:09,380 --> 00:00:11,250 when you come back from your hollybobs. 4 00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:13,610 Been wandering around in my tankini for two weeks. 5 00:00:13,660 --> 00:00:17,050 Oh, the food there is amazing. 6 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:20,290 I ate a prawn the size of my fist. 7 00:00:20,340 --> 00:00:24,210 I've brought you something back for everyone to share. 8 00:00:24,260 --> 00:00:26,010 Do you want to see some photos? 9 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:29,490 No. A number of things happened while you were away 10 00:00:29,540 --> 00:00:32,210 that made my working environment intolerable. 11 00:00:32,260 --> 00:00:35,450 - All right, well, just write it down. - I've written it down. 12 00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:37,570 Paul had a 20 minute poo, 13 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:41,250 Natalie and Karl have been heavy petting during lunch times 14 00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:44,650 and Janette keeps singing the theme to The Antiques Roadshow. 15 00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:46,500 Oh, I love that. 16 00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:56,250 It grates me to my core. 17 00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,300 Welcome back. 18 00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:16,370 Natalie? 19 00:01:16,420 --> 00:01:18,730 Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. 20 00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:21,650 OK, normally, I would celebrate alone, 21 00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:24,690 but -- as it's a big one -- I'd thought we might raise a glass together. 22 00:01:24,740 --> 00:01:27,570 Don't let Janette have more than one. She's a two pot screamer. 23 00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:29,690 - I am NOT. - You had a drink last Christmas, 24 00:01:29,740 --> 00:01:32,370 and called a jobseeker a 'see you next Tuesday'. 25 00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:33,730 He was one! 26 00:01:33,780 --> 00:01:35,450 To Brownall Jobcentre -- 27 00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:37,290 25 years young. 28 00:01:37,340 --> 00:01:38,890 Brownall Jobcentre. 29 00:01:38,940 --> 00:01:41,010 Are you going to drink that? 30 00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:43,970 Now, this anniversary is a great opportunity 31 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,850 for us to look to our yesterdays 32 00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:48,970 to inspire tomorrow's jobseekers today. 33 00:01:49,020 --> 00:01:50,330 We are... 34 00:01:50,380 --> 00:01:53,570 Looking back to look forward. 35 00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:55,650 Teamwork makes the dream work. 36 00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:58,330 - Now, Trish... - I have come up with 37 00:01:58,380 --> 00:02:00,290 a little Brownall birthday quiz. 38 00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:02,010 And it's called... 39 00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:04,690 - Drum roll, please, Natalie. - Drrrrrrrrr.... 40 00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:08,690 .. let's see who knows the most about Brownall Jobcentre quiz. 41 00:02:08,740 --> 00:02:10,530 Chhhhhhhh.... 42 00:02:10,580 --> 00:02:12,650 Oh, Natalie, you're like a human beatbox. 43 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,530 Right, question one. 44 00:02:14,580 --> 00:02:17,490 Which staff member has been at Brownall since it opened in 1990? 45 00:02:17,540 --> 00:02:19,650 It's me. Shall we move on? 46 00:02:19,700 --> 00:02:22,130 Angela, if we're going to answer our own questions, 47 00:02:22,180 --> 00:02:24,290 there's not much point in playing, is there? 48 00:02:24,340 --> 00:02:26,340 No. 49 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,210 Anyway, while you were away, Trish, 50 00:02:35,260 --> 00:02:38,010 I arranged a little Brownall birthday surprise. 51 00:02:38,060 --> 00:02:42,180 I managed to track down Brownall's first ever manager. 52 00:02:42,980 --> 00:02:46,090 Ladies and gentlemen, Maggie Higgins! 53 00:02:46,140 --> 00:02:48,290 Hello, my darlings. 54 00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:52,610 My goodness, it's good to be back in the old girl again. 55 00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:54,930 She even smells the same. 56 00:02:54,980 --> 00:02:57,810 Oh, MD, this is so exciting. 57 00:02:57,860 --> 00:02:59,770 - Hello, I'm Trish. - Hello... 58 00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:01,690 Oh... 59 00:03:03,900 --> 00:03:05,890 - Bubbles? - Oh, I really shouldn't. 60 00:03:05,940 --> 00:03:07,930 A bit of trouble with the old ticker. 61 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,970 Still, you only live once. 62 00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:11,890 Cheers! 63 00:03:11,940 --> 00:03:13,890 And as I always used to say -- 64 00:03:13,940 --> 00:03:16,810 the dream works because the team works. 65 00:03:17,420 --> 00:03:20,300 - Cheers. - Up yours. 66 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,610 You know, I've always wanted to write a biography about Brownall. 67 00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:32,730 - A Brownography! - Oh, yes, yes, that's very funny. 68 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:36,010 Oh, what is THIS I see before me? 69 00:03:36,060 --> 00:03:37,730 It's a memory board. 70 00:03:37,780 --> 00:03:39,690 25 years of Brownall. 71 00:03:39,740 --> 00:03:43,940 Natalie, I think you are a pinboard wizard. 72 00:03:44,860 --> 00:03:46,090 It's majestic. 73 00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:49,050 Well, it's just a pinboard with some old photos stuck on it. 74 00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:51,500 Karl, stop being so negative. 75 00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:56,540 Hold on, do my eyes deceive me? Is that... 76 00:03:57,420 --> 00:03:59,730 It is. It's you! 77 00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:01,690 Angela, my darling, 78 00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:03,770 how are you? 79 00:04:03,820 --> 00:04:05,330 Maggie. 80 00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:07,170 I didn't recognise you. 81 00:04:07,220 --> 00:04:10,170 What's happened to all your beautiful blonde hair? 82 00:04:10,220 --> 00:04:12,130 Does she still have you in stitches? 83 00:04:12,180 --> 00:04:15,850 - Have you got the right person? - There's only one Angela Bromford. 84 00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:18,530 Go on, Ange, do one of your impressions. 85 00:04:18,580 --> 00:04:21,250 I didn't know you did impressions, Angela. 86 00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:24,850 So funny. Her Kylie Minogue was the highlight of the staff talent show. 87 00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:27,050 Oh, please do it for us, Angela. 88 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,930 Don't be shy. 89 00:04:28,980 --> 00:04:31,610 We all want to see your Kylie, don't we? 90 00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:34,610 More than anything in the world. 91 00:04:34,660 --> 00:04:37,410 I am not doing any impressions of any kind. 92 00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:38,930 Not even your Tina Turner? 93 00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:40,810 Come on, Angela, 94 00:04:40,860 --> 00:04:43,330 give us a bit of your Nutbush. 95 00:04:46,660 --> 00:04:48,330 Prick up your ears, Jobseekers. 96 00:04:48,380 --> 00:04:50,850 Here's a little something to inspire you. 97 00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:54,130 THIS is three generations of the same family 98 00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:57,010 who have all found work through this job centre. 99 00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:59,130 Well, two generations. 100 00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:02,250 - This 'un suffers from beditis. - Piss off, Nan. 101 00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,050 The Wests. 102 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:08,210 Say cheese. 103 00:05:08,260 --> 00:05:10,570 - Bryony, are you going to smile? - Am I, bollocks! 104 00:05:10,620 --> 00:05:12,610 OK. 105 00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:16,850 Hey, Bryony, you were right, he has got a fit arse. 106 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,530 Nan! 107 00:05:18,580 --> 00:05:21,170 I swear to God, I have never even mentioned your arse. 108 00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:23,410 What?! You never shut up about it. 109 00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:25,650 Right, that's it, Nan, you're going in a home. 110 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,930 I'm 47. 111 00:05:27,980 --> 00:05:30,450 So, as part of our anniversary, 112 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:32,930 we are celebrating Brownall success stories. 113 00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:34,810 Now, this is Charlie. 114 00:05:34,860 --> 00:05:36,850 He was long-term unemployed, 115 00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:40,330 but he now runs a successful IT company. Kerching! 116 00:05:40,380 --> 00:05:42,850 Actually, it was this man here. 117 00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:46,810 Hm? 118 00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:49,490 - You used to sign me on, do you remember? - Yeah, yeah. 119 00:05:49,540 --> 00:05:52,370 You said something to me that changed my life forever. 120 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,330 Did I? 121 00:05:54,380 --> 00:05:57,740 You told me to go out and kick life in the dick. 122 00:05:58,660 --> 00:06:00,450 And that's literally what I did. 123 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:02,250 You mean figuratively, but carry on. 124 00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:05,050 - You can learn a lot from this man. - Really? 125 00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:08,290 Karl, would you say that you've kicked life in the dick? 126 00:06:08,340 --> 00:06:10,810 I haven't exactly... kicked it. 127 00:06:10,860 --> 00:06:13,170 Probably more sort of... 128 00:06:13,220 --> 00:06:16,250 stroked it with my toe. 129 00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:19,330 Right, so you're saying that you've given life a foot job? 130 00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,970 Huh? 131 00:06:21,020 --> 00:06:22,820 Inspiring stuff. 132 00:06:31,420 --> 00:06:33,890 Hola. Es aqui donde trabaja Trishy? 133 00:06:33,940 --> 00:06:36,770 Not a clue. 134 00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:39,660 Take a seat over there, my love. 135 00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:42,970 I've got you some crepe paper. 136 00:06:43,020 --> 00:06:45,170 I thought you might scrunch it up and... 137 00:06:45,220 --> 00:06:46,930 Oh, my God, Raul! 138 00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:48,650 Trishy! 139 00:06:56,580 --> 00:06:58,290 Vine para encontrar a mi amor. 140 00:06:58,340 --> 00:07:00,210 I don't know what you're saying. 141 00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:02,090 Trish? 142 00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:03,850 Oh, my gosh! 143 00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:07,170 First Maggie and now him. It's like Surprise Surprise! 144 00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:08,930 How on earth did you find him? 145 00:07:08,980 --> 00:07:11,170 I didn't. I don't know who he is. 146 00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:14,010 Oh. Erm... 147 00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:15,650 Natalie, everyone... 148 00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:17,530 this is Raul. 149 00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:20,890 He's a Spanish Spaniard that I met in Spain. 150 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,810 He took me on a tour of his vineyard, 151 00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:26,050 and we just clicked over several bottles of Rioja. 152 00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:28,370 Quiero llevarte a la cama. 153 00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,090 This was the problem. 154 00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:35,570 Our bodies spoke the same language, but our mouths didn't. 155 00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:38,330 Perdona, senor. 156 00:07:38,380 --> 00:07:41,410 Por tu acento dire que eres de Andalucia? 157 00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:43,010 Si, si, soy Andaluz! 158 00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:45,770 - Gracias a Dios que hablas espanol. - You speak Spanish? 159 00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:48,730 I worked the door at Lineker's Bar in Puerto Banus. 160 00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:50,450 How did he find me? 161 00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,930 Trish quiere saber como la encontraste? 162 00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:57,010 Pasamos muchas horas juntos, pero las palabras que mas repitio, 163 00:07:57,060 --> 00:08:00,730 incluso cuando hacemos el amor, era 'Brownall Jobcentre'. 164 00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:05,370 Erm, he says when he got you... excited, 165 00:08:05,420 --> 00:08:07,490 you'd shout out 'Brownall Jobcentre'. 166 00:08:07,540 --> 00:08:10,250 Oh, lordy. Erm... 167 00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:12,210 Natalie, I will be in my office. 168 00:08:12,260 --> 00:08:15,490 I'm leaving you in charge of casa de Brownall. 169 00:08:15,540 --> 00:08:17,540 Step this way, senor. 170 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:24,010 Recognise this cheery face? 171 00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:26,810 - No. - It's you, 172 00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:29,770 25 years ago, outside this very job centre. 173 00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:31,530 Do you want to stick it on the board? 174 00:08:31,580 --> 00:08:33,720 Stick it where you like. 175 00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:36,930 Whatever happened to my golden girl? 176 00:08:36,980 --> 00:08:40,050 You were always so positive, so full of fun. 177 00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:41,770 Even when your mother passed away. 178 00:08:41,820 --> 00:08:45,130 - My mother's not dead. - Isn't she? 179 00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:47,810 I think I'd remember the death of my own mother. 180 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:50,890 I'm sure I gave you a week off for compassionate leave. 181 00:08:50,940 --> 00:08:52,650 You're wrong. 182 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:55,730 Now, if you don't mind, I've got work to do. 183 00:08:55,780 --> 00:08:57,850 We're not all retired. 184 00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:03,820 Buenas noches. 185 00:09:06,340 --> 00:09:08,370 I'll take that. 186 00:09:08,420 --> 00:09:11,770 - Voy a pedir a Trishy que se case conmigo. - En serio? - Mm-hm. 187 00:09:11,820 --> 00:09:13,890 He says he's going to ask Trish to marry him. 188 00:09:13,940 --> 00:09:16,970 Oh, how lovely! I'm going to have to buy a new hat. 189 00:09:17,020 --> 00:09:18,930 That's ridiculous. 190 00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:20,850 - Gracias. - I think it's really sweet. 191 00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:22,250 Sweet? 192 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,770 He's being spontaneous. It's really romantic. 193 00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:28,090 He's only known her a fortnight. He could be a serial killer. Yeah? 194 00:09:28,140 --> 00:09:30,170 Your scepticism's understandable, Karl, 195 00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:33,170 - cos you're naturally risk averse. - Mr Predictable. 196 00:09:33,220 --> 00:09:35,370 In a good way. 197 00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:38,450 It's all right, mate, we can't all be interesting and dynamic. 198 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:41,050 - You think I'm boring? - No. 199 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:44,290 Just safe, like vanilla ice cream. 200 00:09:44,340 --> 00:09:46,090 Everyone likes vanilla ice cream. 201 00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:49,170 That's what I love about you. I always know what I'm going to get. 202 00:09:49,220 --> 00:09:51,420 Yeah, the same every day. 203 00:09:52,780 --> 00:09:54,780 In a good way. 204 00:09:58,340 --> 00:10:00,330 Where are we going? 205 00:10:00,380 --> 00:10:02,450 To kick life in the dick. 206 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,440 We're not going to a sports bar, are we? 207 00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:13,330 I'd like to buy an engagement ring right now, please. 208 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:14,930 Ooh, someone's in a hurry. 209 00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:18,930 Well, I've just decided to ask my girlfriend to marry me. 210 00:10:18,980 --> 00:10:21,210 - How romantic. - And spontaneous? 211 00:10:21,260 --> 00:10:22,770 - Very. - Brilliant. 212 00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:24,820 Show me your rings. 213 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,050 Oh, wow, these are... 214 00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,890 Jesus! 215 00:10:28,940 --> 00:10:30,930 Beautiful. 216 00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:34,010 Oh, excuse me a minute. 217 00:10:34,060 --> 00:10:35,570 Sure. 218 00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:37,210 What are you trying to prove? 219 00:10:37,260 --> 00:10:39,810 I'm proving, Ash, that this is the new me. 220 00:10:39,860 --> 00:10:42,570 Karl -- spontaneous and romantic -- Lyndhurst. 221 00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,730 You're not being spontaneous or romantic. 222 00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:47,370 - You're just copying Raul. - Is that what I'm doing? - Yeah. 223 00:10:47,420 --> 00:10:50,010 What about this, then? Where's that gone? Magic. Gone. 224 00:10:50,060 --> 00:10:52,130 You can't do that. You're vanilla, Karl. 225 00:10:52,180 --> 00:10:54,980 Well, the new Karl is mint choc chip. 226 00:10:57,300 --> 00:11:00,050 - Seen anything you like? - Nah, changed my mind. 227 00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:02,770 Completely gone off her. So I'm just going to go. 228 00:11:02,820 --> 00:11:05,260 Oh, OK. 229 00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:10,700 Are you sure? 230 00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:13,850 Are you absolutely sure you want to leave? 231 00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:15,930 Yippity, yip, yip, yip. 232 00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:18,050 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. 233 00:11:23,940 --> 00:11:28,040 - What have you done? - I don't like mint choc chip Karl. 234 00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:42,490 Desde el primer momento que nos conocimos 235 00:11:42,540 --> 00:11:44,290 supe que eras especial. 236 00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:46,330 From the moment we met 237 00:11:46,380 --> 00:11:48,370 I knew you were special. 238 00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:50,610 Si, ha habido otras mujeres. 239 00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:53,460 Yes, there have been many other women. 240 00:11:54,340 --> 00:11:56,410 Pero ninguna tan flexible como tu. 241 00:11:56,460 --> 00:11:58,660 But none as bendy as you. 242 00:11:59,860 --> 00:12:01,850 El destino nos ha unido. 243 00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:04,300 Fate has brought us together. 244 00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:12,050 Hermosa Trishy... 245 00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,890 Beautiful Trishy... 246 00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:16,770 - Quieres casarte conmigo? - Will you marry me? 247 00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,810 What? 248 00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:21,970 - I don't know what to say. - No se que decir. 249 00:12:22,020 --> 00:12:24,050 - Diga si. - Say yes. 250 00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:25,730 No. 251 00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:27,530 - No? - No. - No. 252 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,580 - No? - No. 253 00:12:30,060 --> 00:12:32,210 Oh, Raul, 254 00:12:32,260 --> 00:12:35,420 you are a wonderful, wonderful Spaniard. 255 00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:40,050 But while you are devoted to your plump, tasty grapes 256 00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:42,370 and I am devoted to my jobless, 257 00:12:42,420 --> 00:12:44,370 it can never work. 258 00:12:44,420 --> 00:12:47,180 Sorry, hombre, it's finito. 259 00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:55,210 La imagen de su cuerpo desnudo quedara en mi mente para siempre. 260 00:12:55,260 --> 00:12:57,650 The image of your beautiful naked body 261 00:12:57,700 --> 00:13:00,410 will be imprinted on his mind forever. 262 00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:02,570 No tienes una fotografia? 263 00:13:02,620 --> 00:13:04,260 No. 264 00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:07,770 Just asking if he wants a lift to the airport. 265 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,820 Thanks, Paul. 266 00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:14,210 Karl, what is so urgent that you've dragged me in here? 267 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:16,730 - This. - Oh, my God. 268 00:13:16,780 --> 00:13:18,890 I stole it. I need you to help me put it back. 269 00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:21,450 I thought you were going to ask me to marry you. 270 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:24,850 Oh. Would you have? 271 00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,610 Not now you're going to prison. 272 00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:28,370 What did you steal a ring for? 273 00:13:28,420 --> 00:13:30,490 I was trying to be less predictable, 274 00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:32,530 but I ended up surprising myself. 275 00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:35,930 This is why you shouldn't try and be interesting, Karl. Things go wrong. 276 00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:38,610 If I hand myself in, maybe I'll just get a slapped wrist. 277 00:13:38,660 --> 00:13:40,810 Or a lengthy custodial sentence. 278 00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:43,330 Oh, God, this is not my world! 279 00:13:47,340 --> 00:13:49,530 - What do you want? - This is embarrassing. 280 00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:51,930 Erm, basically, 281 00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:54,610 I wanted to do something I'd never done before. 282 00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:57,130 And we thought you might have... 283 00:13:57,180 --> 00:13:58,530 experience. 284 00:13:58,580 --> 00:14:01,930 But you can't tell anyone. It has to be our little secret. 285 00:14:01,980 --> 00:14:03,890 - Why me? - You just look the type. 286 00:14:03,940 --> 00:14:07,010 - And you don't think it'll be weird? - No, just tell us what to do. 287 00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:09,850 All right, kinky. Let's decide on a safe word. 288 00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:12,770 - What? - You're asking me to do a threesome? 289 00:14:12,820 --> 00:14:15,770 - No! - Why have you dragged me into a toilet, then? 290 00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:18,490 - I've got a hot ring. - I draw the line at bum love. 291 00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:20,490 I stole a ring. 292 00:14:20,540 --> 00:14:23,890 - And you thought I'd know about handling stolen goods? - Yes. 293 00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:25,290 - So judgemental. - Well, do you? 294 00:14:25,340 --> 00:14:27,690 - Of course I do. - Will you help us? 295 00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:30,250 Only because you wouldn't last five minutes in jail. 296 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:33,500 - Not with an arse like that. - She's right. 297 00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:36,250 So we're not gonna do this, then? 298 00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:37,970 No. 299 00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:40,020 - Well... - No! - No. 300 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,490 Can I help you? 301 00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:49,490 Yeah, we'd quite like to look at some engagement rings, please. 302 00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,850 We're getting married. She's my everything. 303 00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:53,690 Oh, congratulations. 304 00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:55,450 I turned her. 305 00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,810 - Beg your pardon? - To girls. Didn't I, babe? 306 00:14:57,860 --> 00:15:00,010 Yeah. I love her. 307 00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:01,210 Give us a snog, then. 308 00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:04,580 - Here? - Yeah, pucker up, buttercup. 309 00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:15,930 Aw, that's lovely. 310 00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:17,890 OK, let's get this done. 311 00:15:17,940 --> 00:15:19,650 Can I have a look at them? 312 00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:23,530 Yes, these are 24 carats. 313 00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:25,690 - Is that 24 carats? - Yes. 314 00:15:25,740 --> 00:15:28,090 - And that? - Yes. - What about that one? 315 00:15:28,140 --> 00:15:30,050 Yes, beautiful, aren't they? 316 00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:33,600 They look plastic. Have you got any rolled gold? 317 00:15:38,820 --> 00:15:40,490 Leg it, Karl! 318 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,650 - I can't run in these shoes. - What happened? 319 00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:44,690 - We kissed, and then it went tits. - What? 320 00:15:44,740 --> 00:15:47,740 - Where's the ring? - Still in my pocket. 321 00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:52,570 - Oh, good morning. - Morning. 322 00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:54,330 I've made a cake. 323 00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:56,810 Oh, Maggie, thank you SO much. 324 00:15:56,860 --> 00:15:59,530 Is that a mini sugar-work Trish? 325 00:15:59,580 --> 00:16:01,330 Oh, no, that's a Maggie. 326 00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:04,490 - That's you. - Oh, we both look the same. 327 00:16:04,540 --> 00:16:06,370 Well, we are the same. 328 00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:09,810 We'd both happily sacrifice everything for this job centre. 329 00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:11,570 - For these. - Beg your pardon? 330 00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:13,290 The jobless. 331 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:15,810 I've always thought of them as my children. 332 00:16:15,860 --> 00:16:18,330 I've swaddled them, nurtured them 333 00:16:18,380 --> 00:16:21,380 and let them suckle at the teat of my benefits. 334 00:16:24,180 --> 00:16:27,170 Do you mind if I just pop into your office and use your computer? 335 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:31,120 Of course not. As long as you're not looking at teats! 336 00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:43,370 What are you doing here? 337 00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,970 I've just been digging around on the system. 338 00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:48,370 You're no longer an employee, so that is illegal. 339 00:16:48,420 --> 00:16:52,130 So is drawing your dead mother's pension. 340 00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:54,850 I've already told you, 341 00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:57,570 my mother is not dead. 342 00:16:57,620 --> 00:17:02,010 Sandra Bromford died on 3rd September 1998. 343 00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:04,730 Since then, 344 00:17:04,780 --> 00:17:11,330 someone has drawn over £80,000 of pension in her name. 345 00:17:11,380 --> 00:17:14,490 You've got the wrong Sandra Bromford. 346 00:17:14,540 --> 00:17:16,290 I'm a keen genealogist, Angela. 347 00:17:16,340 --> 00:17:20,210 I can trace my family right back to the Vikings. I don't make mistakes. 348 00:17:20,260 --> 00:17:22,450 What do you want? 349 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,970 I'm sorry? 350 00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:25,850 Money? How much? 351 00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:27,610 I don't want your money. 352 00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:29,770 I just want you to do the right thing. 353 00:17:29,820 --> 00:17:31,530 I'm going to write down a figure. 354 00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:34,170 Oh, for goodness' sake, 355 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,050 I'm telling you that this is not about... 356 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,450 - Is that a one? - No, it's a seven. 357 00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:41,610 - Bloody hell! - Do we have a deal? 358 00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:44,330 No. You are a benefit cheat, Angela, 359 00:17:44,380 --> 00:17:46,770 and if you don't tell Trish, then I will. 360 00:17:46,820 --> 00:17:49,450 You can't. 361 00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:52,050 You have illegally accessed the system. 362 00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:54,370 It's not illegal. I am the manager. 363 00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:57,090 Ex-manager. No-one listened to you when you worked here. 364 00:17:57,140 --> 00:17:58,930 So no-one's going to listen to you now. 365 00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:00,890 How can you say that? 366 00:18:00,940 --> 00:18:03,460 I treated you like a daughter. 367 00:18:04,220 --> 00:18:08,650 Your days of working in this job centre are over. 368 00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:13,000 - What's the matter with your face? - It's... It's my heart. 369 00:18:13,620 --> 00:18:15,610 I need my pills. 370 00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:19,250 Just... 371 00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,300 Thank you. 372 00:18:31,540 --> 00:18:33,930 You all right, Maggie? 373 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:36,850 Are you tired? It has been a busy week. 374 00:18:50,900 --> 00:18:53,810 I know it's not a good time, but Raul's in the waiting area. 375 00:18:53,860 --> 00:18:56,210 He's just stopped off on his way to the airport. 376 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,730 Paul, I'm about to perform a very moving eulogy. 377 00:18:58,780 --> 00:19:01,880 - He just needs to say goodbye. - So do I. 378 00:19:02,380 --> 00:19:04,890 Here lies a great woman, 379 00:19:04,940 --> 00:19:07,450 whose name will live on. 380 00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:09,500 Maggie... 381 00:19:10,420 --> 00:19:13,210 - Higgins. - Higgins. Maggie Higgins... 382 00:19:13,260 --> 00:19:16,970 loved, lived and breathed Brownall Jobcentre 383 00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:18,890 as much as me right to the very end. 384 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,050 - She's left a mark behind. - Well, she has. 385 00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:24,330 - I mean, she built this place. - No, I mean literally, Trish. 386 00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,410 She's left a mark on your chair. 387 00:19:26,460 --> 00:19:29,820 Yeah. Something must have leaked out when she died. 388 00:19:31,140 --> 00:19:33,930 Well, maybe she just loved this job too darn much, 389 00:19:33,980 --> 00:19:36,090 and that's what killed her in the end. 390 00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:38,370 That and her angina. 391 00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:40,650 Maggie Higgins, 392 00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:42,370 I hope one day 393 00:19:42,420 --> 00:19:45,220 I can be the manager you are... Were. 394 00:19:46,580 --> 00:19:49,330 Oh, God, it's too late, 395 00:19:49,380 --> 00:19:51,130 I already am her. 396 00:19:51,180 --> 00:19:52,970 Do you want me to tell Raul to do one? 397 00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:55,020 Raul? 398 00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,780 Destino. 399 00:20:00,020 --> 00:20:02,650 What are you doing here? We told you to lay low for a bit. 400 00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,570 I have. I've been in bed all morning. 401 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:07,020 - Been shopping? - Yeah, so? 402 00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:12,890 - What's that for? - Your cut. I flogged the ring to some Mexican in the pub. 403 00:20:12,940 --> 00:20:14,690 We are never seeing that again. 404 00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:17,460 - Raul! - Trishy. 405 00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:22,170 Oh, God! 406 00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:25,020 That's him. That's the Mexican. 407 00:20:26,180 --> 00:20:28,690 Oh, no, Bryony, tell me you're joking. 408 00:20:28,740 --> 00:20:31,210 I think I'm going to have another panic attack. 409 00:20:31,260 --> 00:20:33,250 Oh, what a beautiful ring. 410 00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:35,970 That must have cost you a fortune. 411 00:20:36,980 --> 00:20:39,690 To heck with it, I don't want to die alone at my desk. 412 00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:44,170 I want the rest of my life to be filled with Mediterranean adventures. 413 00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:47,610 - Yes, Raul, yes, I will marry you. - Si? 414 00:20:47,660 --> 00:20:50,500 Oh, Trish, congratulations. 415 00:20:56,740 --> 00:20:58,730 This deserves a celebration. 416 00:20:58,780 --> 00:21:01,250 Abso-flippin-lutely. Go and get the Cava. 417 00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:03,770 Oh, I love it, I love it, I love it. Isn't it just super? 418 00:21:03,820 --> 00:21:06,610 - It's all right. - I've never been so happy. 419 00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:09,010 Oh, Angela, 420 00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,890 stay and have a glass of Cava. 421 00:21:10,940 --> 00:21:12,890 I'm getting married. 422 00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:15,570 No, I'm going home 423 00:21:15,620 --> 00:21:17,620 to Mother. 424 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,580 We've been fingered. 425 00:21:23,620 --> 00:21:25,760 I wonder what they want. 426 00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:29,250 Officers, I know what you're thinking. 427 00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:32,810 'They shouldn't be celebrating while the body's probably still warm.' 428 00:21:32,860 --> 00:21:35,330 - Body? - Yes, yes, and you may well be right, 429 00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:37,690 but I'm just so excited. 430 00:21:37,740 --> 00:21:40,650 - I'm getting married. Look. - Congratulations. 431 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:43,610 We were actually hoping to talk to your staff about a robbery. 432 00:21:43,660 --> 00:21:45,410 What are you talking about? 433 00:21:45,460 --> 00:21:47,130 Of an engagement ring. 434 00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:48,850 This ring isn't stolen. 435 00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:51,050 Erm, yeah, 436 00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:53,100 actually, it is. 437 00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:57,650 I stole it. 438 00:21:57,700 --> 00:21:59,450 And I helped. 439 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:03,130 And I tried to put it back by pretending to be a lesbian. 440 00:22:03,180 --> 00:22:05,650 And I sold it to that Mexican. 441 00:22:06,420 --> 00:22:08,530 Oh, my God, I'm a common criminal. 442 00:22:08,580 --> 00:22:10,850 I don't want to go to jail. 443 00:22:12,060 --> 00:22:14,250 Cava?