1
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,770
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:13,560
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,728
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,944
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:20,608
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,447
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:25,693
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,787
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
9
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:32,454
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:36,791
HARRIS:
Attention all units
11
00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:38,789
in the vicinity
of South Park Elementary.
12
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:40,461
We have a code red.
13
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,505
Principal calling for help
during school assembly.
14
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,970
All officers needed at once.
15
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:46,634
- The school?
- [Engine starts]
16
00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,007
Oh, geez Louise!
17
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:49,474
[Siren wailing,
tires screeching]
18
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:54,514
[Guns cocking]
19
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,766
[Tires screech,
glass shatters]
20
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:00,818
We need to get to the gym.
21
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,654
Half go this way,
half go around the side.
22
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:04,569
Barbrady, you go around back.
23
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:13,203
[Breathing heavily]
24
00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:21,207
On three.
25
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,208
One, two...
26
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:30,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
27
00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:34,015
There she is, officers,
right there.
28
00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:36,730
I told you to stop chatting with
your friends, didn't I, Leslie?
29
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,725
You see, officers,
apparently Leslie thinks
30
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,272
that talking to her friends
is more important
31
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:43,066
than learning about diversity
in third-world countries.
32
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,062
It's that one.
33
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,656
That's her, right there.
You remove her from my school.
34
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,867
Aah! Nobody move!
What's happening?!
35
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,361
- Get her out of here!
- Oh, they've got me!
36
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:51,862
- [Gunshot]
- Aah!
37
00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,284
Aah!
38
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:02,461
This town is outraged,
Officer Barbrady.
39
00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:04,458
People are tired of the police
40
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:06,836
not being held accountable
for their actions.
41
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,430
Mayor, I didn't know if there
was a gunman or a bomb --
42
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:13,551
You shot an unarmed
6-year-old Latino child.
43
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,552
I'm sorry.
44
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,099
You are fired.
45
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:19,723
No, Mayor, please.
46
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,145
This is all I know.
47
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:24,065
I used to be the only policeman
in this town, remember?
48
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:27,736
Bob, I-l used to chase away
the sixth graders for you.
49
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:30,154
You're from another time,
Barbrady,
50
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,994
and the last thing
that needs to go.
51
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:34,363
Your gun and your badge.
52
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,953
And your sunglasses.
53
00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:42,921
No. Please.
Not my sunglasses.
54
00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,335
You're done, Barbrady.
55
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,299
The town doesn't
want you here.
56
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,097
Where should I go?
57
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,933
You should have thought of that
before you shot a Mexican.
58
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:55,926
Latino American.
59
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,428
Latino American.
Shit.
60
00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,350
You should go away.
61
00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:01,098
You don't belong anywhere
62
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,567
in a town
as progressive as this one.
63
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:15,075
Hey, quiet down over there.
I'm trying to sleep.
64
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,618
God damn it.
You people all get out of here!
65
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,662
What makes you in charge?
66
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,000
'Cause this
is my fucking house!
67
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:21,835
[Drum thuds]
68
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,920
Hey, beat it, man,
or I'll make you my bitch!
69
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,789
Aah!
70
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:29,168
Yeah, we've got a bunch
of drug-addict vagrants
71
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:31,795
trespassing in our yard,
and we need assistance.
72
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,513
Oh, is that so?
73
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,223
Well, we'd like to
come help you,
74
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,967
but we don't want to get fired.
75
00:03:37,092 --> 00:03:38,469
What are you talking about?
76
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:41,142
There's homeless people here,
and they're scaring my kids.
77
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,981
You need to come
do something about this.
78
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:43,974
I see.
79
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:47,319
And are any of these homeless
people of a minority persuasion?
80
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,188
Why does that matter?
81
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,655
Oh, it matters.
82
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:53,366
See, used to be we could beat up
minorities, and nobody cared.
83
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,235
It's the reason a lot of us
joined the force.
84
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,328
Hey, Mitch, you want to go down
and arrest some homeless people,
85
00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,073
but not be able to beat up
any minorities?
86
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,494
No, thank you.
87
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,037
Yeah, no, I think we're good.
88
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,376
In fact, we're thinking of maybe
89
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:04,915
turning the whole department
into a hula school.
90
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,037
What do you think?
91
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,007
God damn it!
92
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:11,172
- What are they doing?!
- They're not coming!
93
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,545
But they have to!
94
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:15,343
Karen brought in one of their
syringes, for Christ's sake!
95
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,681
Well, it's just too bad.
96
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:17,970
The cops won't come,
97
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,810
so there's nobody
to scare the homeless away.
98
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,602
[Door unlocks]
99
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,945
Hey, sweetheart.
100
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:39,196
I've, uh -- I've been let go
from the force.
101
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:40,914
I'm so sorry.
102
00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,250
[Dog whimpers]
103
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,710
Don't worry, old girl.
104
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:48,171
Might be a little tough
to afford your medication,
105
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,416
but I'll find a way.
106
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,713
You know me.
107
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:55,257
I like to help.
108
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,176
I like to be needed.
109
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,560
You guys!
Oh, my God, you guys!
110
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:05,271
You guys, the're gay!
They're totally gay.
111
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,890
Who?
112
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,107
Kenny and Token.
113
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,067
What?
114
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:10,401
Kenny and Token, dude.
115
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,396
They're so gay.
Butters told me.
116
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,114
- You're lying.
- No, dude.
117
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,279
In those old, abandoned
buildings around Kenny's house,
118
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,527
Kenny and Token turned it
into a big ninja clubhouse,
119
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,245
and they dress up
and play ninja in it,
120
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,454
trying to scare people away.
121
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,073
How is that gay?
122
00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:24,541
It's the gayest thing ever,
dude!
123
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,580
Ninjas are fucking dumb!
124
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,077
Dude, come on!
We got to go see this!
125
00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:28,670
Over this way!
126
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:29,754
[Traditional Japanese music
plays]
127
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:31,464
Wah!
Wah, wah!
128
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,043
Wah, wah, wah!
129
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,965
We will defend
our ninja honor.
130
00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:37,429
Ho-chew, ho-chew!
131
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:38,923
Intruders!
Defend the base!
132
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,268
Hey, guys, did you come
to see our ninja fortress?
133
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,888
Oh, my God.
They're so gay, you guys.
134
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,309
You and Kenny
built all this?
135
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:50,274
Yeah,
with Clyde and David, too.
136
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,144
You guys should come
and check it out.
137
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,987
Uh, no.
We're good, thanks.
138
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,777
Oh, my God, dude.
It's a sausage party.
139
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,195
It's pretty cool, dude.
People are really scared of us.
140
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,318
Yeah,
I'm sure they are.
141
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,945
Hey, excuse me, man.
Do you know where --
142
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:04,698
[Middle Eastern music plays]
143
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,625
Aah! Aaaah!
144
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,964
[All grunting]
145
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,628
- Aah! Aaaah!
- Oh, my God, go!
146
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,717
- Go, go, go!
- [Tires screech]
147
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:18,920
[Engine revs]
148
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,264
[Tires screech]
149
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,013
That's pretty cool.
150
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,309
Well, the way I heard it was
that the girl in the school
151
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:31,149
wasn't even doing anything,
just talking too loud,
152
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,643
and someone ends up
getting shot.
153
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,644
Hey!
What do you want?
154
00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:37,147
It's okay.
I'm off-duty.
155
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:38,694
Just came
for a nice pinot.
156
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,533
Yeah? Well,
go somewhere else, copper.
157
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,119
Shi Tpa Town is for people
who care about each other.
158
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,237
We don't take kindly
159
00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,285
to folks who impose
their authority
160
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,532
on the underprivileged.
161
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:48,829
Now, look, not all cops
162
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,873
are racist,
trigger-happy assholes.
163
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:51,711
Really?
164
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:55,423
I'll bet you don't even know
what "farm to table" means.
165
00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,548
- Yeah!
- That'll show him!
166
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:00,966
All right!
All right!
167
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,339
Wow.
168
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:04,182
We've only had a Whole Foods
for a month,
169
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,393
and already we don't need cops.
170
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,136
So cool.
171
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,981
It is a great honor to see
that you all want to be ninjas.
172
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,396
Joining our club
is very serious.
173
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,690
You must promise to uphold
the Warrior's code.
174
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:18,188
CARTMAN: Totally, dude.
Ninjas are sweet.
175
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:21,192
Together, we must strive to make
our fortress super badass
176
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,193
and keep all intruders out.
177
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,912
To that end, let us proceed
to our training.
178
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,582
Dude, can I talk to you
for a minute?
179
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:33,044
Listen, I don't think we should
let Kyle be a ninja, okay?
180
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,754
He said ninjas were gay.
181
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,669
He's probably gonna try
and turn it around on me,
182
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,667
but that's 'cause Kyle knows
I heard him.
183
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,466
KYLE: You're talking to Kyle
right now.
184
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,304
Yeah, cool.
185
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:44,718
It's me -- Butters.
186
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,091
You're the one who said
ninjas were gay.
187
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:47,513
Why do you want to make this
a problem?
188
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:48,476
I'm -- I'm just Butters, man.
189
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:49,765
I have problems
with lots of things.
190
00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:52,014
Hey, Eric, you want
to try sparring with me?!
191
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,105
Yes, I do, Butters.
192
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:54,896
Ooh! Ow!
[Coughs]
193
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:57,690
Intruders!
194
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:58,903
Yeah, it's right up here.
195
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,897
We can shoot up
in these abandoned buildings.
196
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:04,026
[All whooping]
197
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,403
[Middle Eastern music plays]
198
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:09,281
[All grunting]
199
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:12,250
- Aah! Aah!
- Aah! Aah!
200
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,586
The town of South Park
201
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,330
is holding
a large protest tonight
202
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:18,377
outside of their
police department.
203
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,377
The townspeople say the protest
is meant to begin a dialogue
204
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,674
about the relationship between
law enforcement
205
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:26,298
and the citizens
they are supposed to protect.
206
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:27,766
♪ Fuck the police ♪
207
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,600
♪ Comin' straight
from the underground ♪
208
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,937
♪ A young nigga got it bad
'cause I'm brown ♪
209
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,226
♪ And not the other color,
so police think ♪
210
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,816
♪ They have the authority
to kill a minority ♪
211
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,435
♪ Fuck that shit
'cause I ain't the one ♪
212
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,779
♪ For a punk motherfucker
with a badge and a gun ♪
213
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:43,694
♪ To be beatin' on
and thrown in jail ♪
214
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:47,115
♪ We can go toe to toe
in the middle of a cell ♪
215
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:50,450
♪ Fuck the police ♪
216
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,290
♪ Fuck, fuck,
fuck the police ♪
217
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:53,624
♪ Fuck, fuck ♪
218
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,836
♪ Pulling out a silly club,
so you stand ♪
219
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:58,705
♪ With a fake-ass badge
and a gun in your hand ♪
220
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:01,208
♪ But take off the gun
so you can see what's up ♪
221
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:03,676
♪ And we'll go at it, punk,
and I'm'a fuck you up ♪
222
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,261
♪ Ice Cube will swarm ♪
223
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,177
♪ On any motherfucker
in a blue uniform ♪
224
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,551
♪ Just 'cause I'm from the CPT ♪
225
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,224
♪ Punk police are afraid of me,
huh ♪
226
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:15,142
♪ A young nigga on the warpath ♪
227
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:18,267
♪ And when I'm finished,
it's gonna be a bloodbath ♪
228
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,735
♪ Of cops dying in L.A. ♪
229
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,071
♪ Yo, Dre,
I got something to say ♪
230
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:24,565
♪ Fuck the police ♪
231
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:29,699
♪ Fuck the police ♪
232
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,164
Aaaaah!
233
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:46,011
Are your children being lured
into terrorist organizations?
234
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,128
A shocking report shows
235
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,130
that some kids in the town
of South Park
236
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:51,974
are swearing loyalty
to a murderous regime.
237
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,184
Yeah, we're pretty badass,
238
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:54,928
and, um, this is, like,
our fortress,
239
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,555
and you can see
it's pretty cool.
240
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,353
MAN: And what about this way
of life is attractive to you?
241
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,147
BUTTERS: Well, it's just cool
'cause we're tough,
242
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,063
and we fight and stuff.
243
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,152
- And we can --
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
244
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,486
And it's like
we can do whatever we want,
245
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,446
and people are scared of us.
246
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:06,860
It's totally rad.
247
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,608
Then why did you say
it was gay before?
248
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,737
Oh, my God!
I never said it was gay!
249
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:12,987
Wait,
he said this was gay?
250
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:13,989
That is a total lie!
251
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,366
Why would I say
something homophobic
252
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:17,037
about the way
Tweek and Craig make love?
253
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,580
He's a lying,
backstabbing Jew!
254
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:19,998
I'm Stan.
255
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,964
No doubt the growing number
of kids swearing loyalty to ISIS
256
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:25,755
could be problematic
for the progressive town.
257
00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,595
Here you go, old girl.
258
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:35,764
We'll just have to make do.
259
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,770
Ew!
260
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,392
Spare a dollar?
261
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,894
No, I don't.
I'm sorry. Thank you.
262
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:46,146
God damn it. Ew!
263
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:50,233
Mayor, I didn't bust my ass
to gentrify this part of town
264
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:52,406
to have it overrun
with homeless people.
265
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,245
Why are they all
suddenly coming here?
266
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,364
Mayor, what are you going
to do about this?
267
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,742
My wife and I
can barely eat or shop.
268
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,961
When a town like ours
has a homeless problem,
269
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,125
it must look at the root
of what's causing it.
270
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,748
- It's ISIS!
- What?
271
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,045
There's these troubled kids
272
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,918
who've turned their backs
on America.
273
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:10,795
They've taken over SodoSopa,
forced all the homeless out.
274
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,389
Why would kids in our town
want to be a part of that?
275
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,883
They're just bad kids,
276
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:19,309
rotten on the inside,
probably with shitty parents.
277
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:24,309
Son, I've always tried
to be a fair dad.
278
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:28,940
I-I don't want to make you
angry, but -- Why?
279
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:31,987
Well, Dad, I just r-r-really
like being a part of something.
280
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,109
I feel like it's
character-building,
281
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,110
and it's lots of fun.
282
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,908
Fun?
283
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,327
But what do you
believe in?
284
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,075
What do we believe in?
285
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,453
We believe in something greater
than ourselves,
286
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:44,124
and that by following
our strict warrior code,
287
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,792
we believe that our faiths
and our traditions
288
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,793
are a way to a greater path --
the p-p-path of the warrior.
289
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,544
And as long as we stay united
in honor,
290
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:51,794
we can defeat all our enemies.
291
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,675
Waghgh waaaaghghhhg!
292
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,015
Wow.
The fellas were right.
293
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:58,976
People are really freaked out
by ninjas.
294
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,106
Okay, we've just got to be
really apologetic
295
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,896
and tell them
we didn't mean it, okay?
296
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,144
Geez.
This is so embarrassing.
297
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:09,362
What if they won't help us
with the homeless?
298
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:10,901
I'm pretty sure
the police will help out
299
00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:13,195
if it's because ISIS
is taking over the town.
300
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,865
[Hawaiian music plays]
301
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:23,869
Officers, there's kids in town
who have joined ISIS.
302
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:24,869
We don't know who they are,
but they --
303
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:27,838
What?
What's that you say?
304
00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:29,958
The town is in danger,
all right?
305
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,506
We don't know
what these kids are capable of.
306
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,254
Geez. I'm sorry.
307
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:36,757
We've got to work
on our Kaholo Koloa
308
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:40,055
and get the lomilomi chicken
ready for the big Ho'olaule'a,
309
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,348
which leaves us, oh,
310
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,563
not enough time
to deal with ISIS.
311
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,682
All right, look,
there's homeless people
312
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,060
all over our gentrified
food-and-arts district.
313
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,811
If you don't stop
these twisted kids, then --
314
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:52,940
Hey, who was it that said
fuck the police?
315
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:55,283
Was that Ice Cube?
Tupac?
316
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,619
Oh, right,
that was you guys!
317
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,035
Sorry, but I guess you'll
have to find somebody else
318
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:02,702
to do all the difficult,
dirty shit
319
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,076
you don't want to do yourselves.
320
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,747
I got to be ready for the luau.
321
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:09,042
I might even kiss a dude.
322
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:12,042
[Indistinct shouting,
grunting]
323
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,260
So, then,
after you told me,
324
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,594
we both went over
to Kyle and Stan,
325
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,214
where they were playing
basketball, remember?
326
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:18,055
Yeah.
327
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,719
And we said Kenny and Token
were playing ninja,
328
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,013
and Kyle said
that ninjas were gay.
329
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,432
And I said, "Ninjas are gay?"
But it was a question.
330
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:24,429
You remember?
331
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,431
- I thought you said it first.
- No, no, no, no.
332
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,229
See, now, Kyle's got everyone
remembering it wrong
333
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,101
because he doesn't want
to get kicked out of the group.
334
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:31,853
That's what Jews do
when they're caught in a lie.
335
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,355
You cannot trust
a Jewish ninja, Butters.
336
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:34,731
TOKEN:
You guys, you guys!
337
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:35,857
STAN: What?
338
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,201
Actual ninjas
want to talk to us.
339
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,114
What?
340
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,157
Kenny and I both just got
341
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:41,621
the same e-mail
from people overseas.
342
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:43,206
Whoa, dude!
343
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,540
How'd they find out
who we were?
344
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,035
They're fucking ninjas,
dude!
345
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,162
[Static hissing]
346
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:51,415
So you are the brave children
347
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,132
who have committed
to our cause.
348
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,751
We have heard
of what you are doing,
349
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,469
and we are very impressed.
350
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:58,088
Cool.
Thanks, dude.
351
00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,214
What you are doing
is very important,
352
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,889
and we would like to help you
however we can.
353
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,307
We are going
to be wiring you some money.
354
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,772
Whoa! Cool!
355
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,607
This is the greatest thing ever,
you guys!
356
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:10,771
Uh, excuse me,
357
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:12,940
could I just set the record
straight on something?
358
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,563
Of course.
359
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,156
Should Jews be trusted?
360
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,114
I mean,
if one of us is a Jew,
361
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,408
do you see that
as being at all problematic?
362
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,782
Extremely.
363
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,875
Yes! Yes!
364
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,084
[MC Hammer's
"U Can't Touch This" plays]
365
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:32,172
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
What did I tell you guys?
366
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,508
RANDY:
Hey, Barbrady.
367
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,509
Officer Barbrady?
368
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:46,928
Wha-- Who?
369
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,932
Hey, buddy.
370
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,148
What do you want?
371
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,939
How would you like
to be a policeman again?
372
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,233
I'm no good as a policeman.
373
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,607
I'm a bumbling old fool.
374
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,200
That is not true.
Who said that?!
375
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:06,414
Look, Barbrady, the fact is,
the town needs you.
376
00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:09,205
They need me?
To do what?
377
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:12,374
We need you
to shoot some kids.
378
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,339
No! Shoot kids?!
379
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:18,676
- I don't want to shoot kids!
- Shh, shh, shh!
380
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:21,797
These are really bad kids.
Terrorists.
381
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,844
This is totally different
from before.
382
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,593
Oh!
Are any of them minorities?
383
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:29,645
A couple of them we think,
yeah.
384
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,014
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no!
385
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,231
Shh!
Look, look, look!
386
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,645
Barbrady! Barbrady!
387
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:38,613
We were wrong about you.
I was wrong about you.
388
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:41,027
You protected this town
389
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:43,026
back before
anybody else ever did.
390
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:46,872
You used to do it
all on your own.
391
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:49,537
We need you
to do that again.
392
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,927
You're the only cop
this town needs, Barbrady.
393
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,263
Go shoot those kids.
394
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:09,052
[Traditional Japanese music
plays]
395
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:12,272
Guys, I know this is hard
for all of us,
396
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:15,062
but to truly be ninjas,
we must face hard facts.
397
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:18,562
Last night, I spoke in private
with our ninja leader overseas.
398
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,939
We talked a long time about Jews
and the Hebrew faith.
399
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,236
He told me a lot I didn't know,
400
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:26,281
and I was able to tell him
some things he did not know.
401
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:27,949
But after talking with that guy,
402
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:31,574
it is abundantly clear to me
that Jews cannot be ninjas.
403
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:34,043
I went to Kyle's house
to talk to him about it,
404
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,537
and I found this.
405
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,757
It was then
that Kyle confessed to me
406
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:42,297
about how he had brainwashed
Butters and Stan into thinking
407
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:46,093
I had used a homophobic slur
to refer to our organization.
408
00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:47,761
And he almost got away with it.
409
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,259
That's when Kyle tried
to kill me.
410
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,806
Luckily, I was the faster ninja.
411
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,431
Kyle knew I would never
call ninjas gay.
412
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:55,727
When I take the gag off,
413
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,441
he's going to try and tell you
that I'm lying now.
414
00:16:57,558 --> 00:17:00,027
Do not believe him.
Kyle is a liar.
415
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,771
KYLE:
I'm right here.
416
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:07,944
Who -- Who's this?
417
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,616
STAN:
That's Clyde.
418
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,703
And I am Token.
419
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:14,541
Why do I do these things,
you ask?
420
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,002
Black rage.
421
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:18,917
[Middle Eastern music playing]
422
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,504
[Gasps] Oh, Jesus.
423
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:29,098
ISIS. Oh, God.
424
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,433
This chicken tastes like shit.
What'd you do to it?
425
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,148
Okay -- Okay, Dad,
it's not organic chicken.
426
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:38,858
I'm not comfortable shopping
at Whole Foods
427
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,522
with all the homeless people
there.
428
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:43,192
But don't worry.
That's all about to change.
429
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:46,907
Soon we'll all have Shi Tpa Town
to enjoy again.
430
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:48,985
Where's Stan?
431
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,158
He's playing ninjas
over at Kenny's house.
432
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,998
Ninjas?
That's
433
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,835
He's playing ninjas
at Kenny's house?
434
00:17:57,952 --> 00:17:58,669
Yeah.
435
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:01,039
- You mean SodoSopa?
- Uh-huh.
436
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,166
Wait a minute.
437
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:06,135
- Ninjas.
- [Japanese music plays]
438
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:10,674
[Middle Eastern music plays]
439
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:13,392
[Japanese music plays]
440
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,477
[Middle Eastern music plays]
441
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,017
Scary.
442
00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:18,685
- [Japanese music plays]
- Gay.
443
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,353
- [Middle Eastern music plays]
- Scary.
444
00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,691
- [Japanese music plays]
- Gay.
445
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,527
- [Music switches rapidly]
- Scary. Gay. Scary. Gay.
446
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:24,486
Randy, what are you doing?
447
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,197
Scary. Gay-
Scary. Gay-
448
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:29,534
Scary -- Gay!
St-a-a-a-an!
449
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:32,028
Oh, I get
the misunderstanding now!
450
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:35,407
No, see, I told Clyde
that Kyle said ninjas were gay,
451
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:37,283
but Clyde thought I was Kyle,
452
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:39,706
so then he was saying
that I said ninjas were gay.
453
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,204
Meaning I as in Kyle.
454
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,377
Nobody ever gave
a shit, you fat turd.
455
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:44,544
All those in favor
456
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:46,042
of Cartman being kicked out
of our ninja club?
457
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:47,214
ALL: Hai!
458
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:49,178
No!
You can't kick me out!
459
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,968
I have to be a ninja.
They hate Jews.
460
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,840
I was made for this, you guys!
Please!
461
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:53,932
What should we
do with him?
462
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,176
- Freeze!
- [Gun cocks]
463
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,097
Oh, shit!
464
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:59,347
Please!
I don't want to shoot you!
465
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,849
STAN:
Cool. Don't.
466
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:01,565
[Groaning]
467
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:02,774
[Children groan]
468
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:06,021
I understand you're feeling
angry at this town.
469
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,398
I'm getting
pretty angry, too.
470
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:10,945
But we can't give up on it.
471
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,990
Please, boys.
472
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,657
Don't make this end violently.
473
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,406
They're just
stupid ninjas!
474
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:17,957
[Gunshot]
475
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,041
Aah!
476
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,705
Aaaah!
477
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,089
What were you thinking?
478
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:33,056
Boys innocently playing ninja,
and you pull your gun on them?
479
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,095
David Rodriguez
was lucky to live.
480
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:38,265
Everybody told me
they were terrorists!
481
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:39,854
We thought they were!
482
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:42,393
But if it turns out they aren't,
as a policeman,
483
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,108
you have to figure that out!
484
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:47,729
But you said
you needed me to kill some kids!
485
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,730
Oh, he's gonna
lay this on us now.
486
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:50,902
I said "kill some kids,"
487
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,616
but I said it
as a question, remember?
488
00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:54,076
I said, "Kill some kids?"
489
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:58,118
I'm sorry, but we just can't
cover your ass on this one.
490
00:19:58,239 --> 00:20:00,958
There's going to be
an investigation and...
491
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:03,453
You just don't have
what it takes
492
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:06,046
to be a policeman
in today's times.
493
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:09,463
Do you even know
what "farm to table" means?
494
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,381
[Siren chirps]
495
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,429
Let's go, people.
You can't stay here.
496
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,224
You are being relocated.
497
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:22,346
Hey, you can't kick us
out of here, man.
498
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:23,814
Oh, no?
I'm a cop.
499
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,683
Thank you, officers.
500
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:27,810
We've got a deal, right?
501
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,653
Yes.
502
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:30,692
All right, you.
Come on.
503
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:31,814
Aah!
504
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:33,407
[Up-tempo orchestral music
plays]
505
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,375
Please! You can't take me back
to SodoSopa!
506
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:48,622
ISIS is there!
507
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,341
No, those were just ninjas.
508
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:54,053
Ninjas?
Oh, that's so gay.
509
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,844
I told you guys.
What did I tell you?
510
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:59,183
I said ninjas are fucking gay,
but you didn't want to listen.
511
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,802
Nooo.
512
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,059
[Door opens]
513
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:09,026
Officer Barbrady.
514
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:10,520
Yes?
515
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:11,987
We've been watching you.
516
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,856
And what we see
517
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:17,201
is a man who truly wants
to protect his town.
518
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:19,494
You do?
519
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,286
You've been in this town
longer than almost anyone.
520
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:25,706
Have you noticed
changes lately?
521
00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:27,419
Yeah, a lot of changes.
522
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,789
They aren't
a coincidence, Officer.
523
00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:31,587
They are all part of a plan
524
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,836
to take down your beloved town
and everyone in it.
525
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,052
What?
526
00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:40,926
What do you know about
a little girl named Leslie?
527
00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:43,269
[Dramatic music plays]
528
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:50,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll