1
00:00:00,308 --> 00:00:05,134
♪ [Applause] ♪

2
00:00:07,859 --> 00:00:10,318
Hey, Shel, I feel like we
haven't seen you for a few days.

3
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:11,264
Where have you been?

4
00:00:11,289 --> 00:00:14,201
It's been a busy week, a
week of giving out hugs.

5
00:00:14,321 --> 00:00:16,989
I hugged my French friends
because they needed it.

6
00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:20,806
I hugged all my Muslim friends
because they needed it too.

7
00:00:22,211 --> 00:00:24,565
There's been a lot going
on. I wish you could just

8
00:00:24,583 --> 00:00:26,747
travel around the world giving hugs.

9
00:00:26,795 --> 00:00:28,230
Oh, I will.

10
00:00:28,857 --> 00:00:30,971
You think I'm afraid of ISIS?

11
00:00:31,019 --> 00:00:32,579
Bitch, I'm from Detroit.

12
00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:40,294
Hey, I got a lady coming by in a little bit

13
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so I wanna look hot. Tell me do
I look cool with this casual pose?

14
00:00:50,898 --> 00:00:52,918
When would anybody ever stand like that?

15
00:00:52,930 --> 00:00:55,682
Oh, I don't know, maybe when I'm
doing a super cool photo shoot

16
00:00:55,682 --> 00:00:58,267
that is sexy but also
fending off my enemies.

17
00:00:58,282 --> 00:01:00,300
Back off, enemies, back off.

18
00:01:00,381 --> 00:01:01,787
Get your own photo shoot.

19
00:01:01,907 --> 00:01:03,566
Listen, Danny,

20
00:01:03,590 --> 00:01:07,095
you want to turn a woman on with
a pose, you should pose like this.

21
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What the hell are you doing?

22
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I'm doing the laundry.

23
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[Applause]

24
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Ok.

25
00:01:22,260 --> 00:01:25,673
You know, I know I'm acting
right now a little bit...

26
00:01:25,681 --> 00:01:27,961
what's the word we always
use to describe Justin.

27
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Puffy.

28
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Ah, rotund!

29
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Chunky.

30
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No, no, no, not that.

31
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- Neurotic. That's what it is.
- I'm not neurotic.

32
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Do you think I'm neurotic?

33
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Is that something you talk about?
Be honest with me.

34
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And you know what, I don't care. I
don't care. I don't care. Oh my god,

35
00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:44,729
who am I kidding? I care.

36
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Do you think either one of
us will ever get a movie?

37
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Not unless it's a really sad
documentary about this show.

38
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[Laughter]

39
00:01:55,622 --> 00:01:56,592
Anyway,

40
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the reason why I'm acting neurotic

41
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is because the woman that's coming

42
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is the one that I lost my virginity to.

43
00:02:04,975 --> 00:02:06,831
Yep when I was a
17-year-old kid,

44
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I was a waiter at this
really cool upscale restaurant

45
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and this really
hot 31-year-old

46
00:02:12,370 --> 00:02:14,760
business executive came in, named Jackie.

47
00:02:14,813 --> 00:02:16,769
All right? And she came in for dinner.

48
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I offered her some dessert.
She asked for some hot coitus.

49
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Now, after a really

50
00:02:21,695 --> 00:02:24,668
confusing and awkward
conversation with the head chef,

51
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I became a man.

52
00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:29,986
That reminds me of my first time.

53
00:02:30,034 --> 00:02:31,764
That night was scary as hell.

54
00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:34,370
Ah, why, because you were nervous?

55
00:02:34,433 --> 00:02:36,400
No, because we did it at a clan rally.

56
00:02:36,462 --> 00:02:38,863
[Laughter]

57
00:02:43,147 --> 00:02:45,568
Hey, guys, can we not talk
about this in front of Mo,

58
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'cause he's still a virgin.

59
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,182
My leg would beg to differ.

60
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Well, Jackie is the worst. She
played games with Danny's heart

61
00:02:57,215 --> 00:03:00,040
for years and crushed his self-esteeam.
You know, I just don't want

62
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her to get you under her spell again.

63
00:03:01,502 --> 00:03:04,431
A spell? Really? Does
she have a spell, Leslie?

64
00:03:04,490 --> 00:03:08,040
Oh, does Jackie have a
spell? What is she a witch?

65
00:03:08,066 --> 00:03:12,137
Does she have a saying that she does?
Like hocus pocus, what is it, abracadabra?

66
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Tell me her spell!

67
00:03:13,512 --> 00:03:15,914
In fact, this little
show is going to sit here

68
00:03:15,914 --> 00:03:19,979
and nobody's gonna say a word
until you say abracadabra.

69
00:03:20,020 --> 00:03:22,375
[Laughter]

70
00:03:32,260 --> 00:03:33,694
Abracadabra.

71
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You owe me $10. Listen,

72
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I'm gonna destroy her. Ok?

73
00:03:43,782 --> 00:03:45,306
When that little Jackie walks through

74
00:03:45,336 --> 00:03:50,173
with her old bunched up body all
squiggly and wrinkly like a troglodyte,

75
00:03:50,191 --> 00:03:53,204
with a humpback, and she walks
in, I'm gonna look at her one

76
00:03:53,228 --> 00:03:55,392
one good eye and I'm gonna say,

77
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oh hey, Jackie.

78
00:03:58,595 --> 00:03:59,970
You look really pretty.

79
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I know, right?

80
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Go get me a glass of wine.

81
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- Ok.
- [Laughter]

82
00:04:08,336 --> 00:04:10,273
[Applause]

83
00:04:13,207 --> 00:04:16,147
You got something to say, marijuana breath?

84
00:04:19,273 --> 00:04:22,703
I just think it's fun to watch you
boss around a grown man like that.

85
00:04:22,745 --> 00:04:24,012
[Laughter]

86
00:04:24,986 --> 00:04:27,292
Look at him getting that wine.

87
00:04:27,992 --> 00:04:31,336
You know what? I'm also gonna need a
pastry from that shop down the street?

88
00:04:32,294 --> 00:04:34,159
Yes, ma'am.

89
00:04:36,681 --> 00:04:41,295
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

90
00:04:44,504 --> 00:04:48,909
_

91
00:06:08,095 --> 00:06:12,177
I want to do that kiss
where I bite your lip

92
00:06:12,201 --> 00:06:14,520
and then pull it away a little bit like

93
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,095
mmm mmm.

94
00:06:17,985 --> 00:06:20,203
I think you're actually... you cut my lip.

95
00:06:20,227 --> 00:06:21,835
Uh-uh.

96
00:06:21,955 --> 00:06:24,160
I can't believe two weeks have passed

97
00:06:24,196 --> 00:06:25,959
since those two have started dating.

98
00:06:25,995 --> 00:06:28,188
I know. It seems like only a minute ago

99
00:06:28,212 --> 00:06:31,577
we were just meeting her and
wearing completely different clothes.

100
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:35,724
Do me a favour?

101
00:06:35,736 --> 00:06:38,772
Will you get my car washed before
you pick me up at work today?

102
00:06:38,892 --> 00:06:43,644
And don't forget to wear those jeans
that show off your little girl ass.

103
00:06:46,124 --> 00:06:49,442
Ow. [Laughter]

104
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,831
What are you guys laughing at, huh?

105
00:06:55,843 --> 00:06:58,060
- Tell him, tell him.
- What?

106
00:06:58,180 --> 00:07:01,294
What are we laughing at?
What could we possibly...

107
00:07:01,318 --> 00:07:02,991
I mean, it's just,

108
00:07:03,410 --> 00:07:05,121
when I think about it,
two weeks ago, I'm

109
00:07:05,146 --> 00:07:06,955
pretty sure he's like
I'm gonna destroy her.

110
00:07:06,972 --> 00:07:08,848
And now, oh god, how do I say this?

111
00:07:08,872 --> 00:07:11,735
Guys, give me a jazz hand tunnel.

112
00:07:11,855 --> 00:07:16,350
Danny, Danny, Danny.

113
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You're her bitch!

114
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[Applause]

115
00:07:22,619 --> 00:07:23,785
Hey, you know what?

116
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That is 100% false.

117
00:07:25,865 --> 00:07:28,991
I don't know. My mother bred
poodles for a living. So,

118
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I know a blue ribbon bitch when I see one.

119
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:37,102
Yeah, we're not talking like the fun
playful bitch like yeah, what's up, bitch.

120
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Ok, yeah.

121
00:07:39,403 --> 00:07:41,931
- Leave him alone, sorry.
- Ok, thanks, Bursk.

122
00:07:41,943 --> 00:07:42,965
He thanked me.

123
00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:45,612
What a bitch.

124
00:07:46,873 --> 00:07:49,575
How come you get all the lines
and we don't even get to talk?

125
00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:51,869
I barely understood that.

126
00:07:53,268 --> 00:07:55,007
Hey, you know what, dude? Ok.

127
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See what this all evolved to.

128
00:07:56,603 --> 00:07:58,560
You shouldn't even be commenting on this.

129
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Candace fights all your battles for you.

130
00:08:00,234 --> 00:08:01,467
- You know what? 
- Stop that. That's not true.

131
00:08:01,492 --> 00:08:02,418
Whoa, whoa, whoa...

132
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Hey. Shh, shh, shh.

133
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Are you talking about my man?

134
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Because if you step to him you
best believe you step to me:

135
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:09,956
Hey, do you want to dance? I said, do y...

136
00:08:14,604 --> 00:08:17,431
No, no, no. We talked about this.

137
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:20,553
Look, am I doing things for Jackie?

138
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:21,826
Of course I'm doing things for Jackie.

139
00:08:21,845 --> 00:08:23,804
But, you have to understand
what I get out of it.

140
00:08:23,814 --> 00:08:25,827
I mean, she's got me on sexual lockdown.

141
00:08:25,846 --> 00:08:29,031
Seriously, when my penis gets
inducted into the penis hall of fame.

142
00:08:29,088 --> 00:08:31,024
None of you guys are getting
invited to the ceremony.

143
00:08:31,039 --> 00:08:32,585
And it's gonna give an amazing speech.

144
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Today, today, today, is
the luckiest day, day, day,

145
00:08:37,912 --> 00:08:39,658
in my whole life, life, life.

146
00:08:39,668 --> 00:08:44,573
I'm the luckiest penis, penis,
penis, in the world, world, world.

147
00:08:44,904 --> 00:08:46,663
Yeah, I'm a big fan.

148
00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:04,317
Look, I know you guys
think it's funny to see

149
00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:06,077
Danny wrapped around Jackie's finger, but,

150
00:09:06,096 --> 00:09:07,798
when he was a kid, she didn't just

151
00:09:07,817 --> 00:09:09,466
hurt him. She damaged him.

152
00:09:09,529 --> 00:09:11,197
He changed as a person.

153
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:14,794
Guys, we're talking
about grown-up Danny here.

154
00:09:14,813 --> 00:09:16,266
No one can change him.

155
00:09:19,696 --> 00:09:21,509
[Laughter]

156
00:09:37,614 --> 00:09:39,850
What, do I got three heads?
What are you looking at?

157
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:42,595
All right.

158
00:09:42,633 --> 00:09:45,011
In the words of Janice my
second favourite character

159
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,962
from the hit show "Friends."

160
00:09:48,348 --> 00:09:52,326
Oh my God!

161
00:09:57,443 --> 00:09:59,508
But Jackie made you do this, didn't she?

162
00:09:59,876 --> 00:10:02,730
No. No, no, that's not true.

163
00:10:02,754 --> 00:10:04,941
I actually did it all of my own volition.

164
00:10:04,946 --> 00:10:06,208
I think it looks

165
00:10:07,542 --> 00:10:08,413
awesome.

166
00:10:10,216 --> 00:10:12,496
I think it looks like you
race air balloons for fun.

167
00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:15,944
Jacky is trying change you

168
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,789
back into that kid she could control.

169
00:10:17,808 --> 00:10:19,299
This is what he used
to look like back then.

170
00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:21,049
Look at this picture
of him from high school.

171
00:10:22,972 --> 00:10:24,157
Oh my God.

172
00:10:24,693 --> 00:10:27,940
The khakis, neatly tucked
in shirt, the bad hair.

173
00:10:29,383 --> 00:10:31,156
We would have been best friends.

174
00:10:33,136 --> 00:10:34,106
All right, whatever. Ok.

175
00:10:34,126 --> 00:10:38,009
Funny. But I couldn't even end
it with Jackie even if I wanted to.

176
00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:42,229
She's like some sort of sexual
wizard. Seriously she's like Dumbledore

177
00:10:42,254 --> 00:10:45,903
except she's like a 50-year-old
hot chick and has a rock

178
00:10:45,928 --> 00:10:49,800
hard body because she does
Pilates and shaves herself all over.

179
00:10:51,479 --> 00:10:55,053
I don't think I read 
that Harry Potter book.

180
00:10:56,644 --> 00:10:59,711
[Laughter] Look, Danny, it's
simple. Just stop sleeping with her.

181
00:10:59,713 --> 00:11:03,628
Stop sleeping with her? I'm sorry, 
did you just turn into Sofia Vergara?

182
00:11:03,653 --> 00:11:08,032
Because what is coming out of 
your mouth right now is making

183
00:11:08,057 --> 00:11:11,214
no sense to me.

184
00:11:13,737 --> 00:11:16,143
Not have sex... hey, don't
have sex with a girl.

185
00:11:16,168 --> 00:11:21,214
Hey, don't have sex with a girl.
Dude, how would I do that?

186
00:11:25,373 --> 00:11:26,869
Bursk, how do you do it?

187
00:11:29,948 --> 00:11:32,846
Generally I just speak to them, and that
kind of thing happens on its own, you know?

188
00:11:34,390 --> 00:11:39,417
Well, to be fair, it's easier to make an
excuse to not have sex when you're a girl.

189
00:11:39,442 --> 00:11:42,360
Oh, I'm tired or I'm
hungry or I got in a

190
00:11:42,385 --> 00:11:45,511
fight with my mom or
hey, "dateline," is on.

191
00:11:46,481 --> 00:11:49,204
I had a hard day at work.
It's always about sex.

192
00:11:49,229 --> 00:11:51,230
You want to talk to me
about my day and my

193
00:11:51,255 --> 00:11:54,815
personal favorite: "It ain't happening 
tonight, you take care of you."

194
00:11:59,097 --> 00:12:00,214
Hey, dummy.

195
00:12:00,239 --> 00:12:03,589
Hey, guys. Don't worry about it.
I got this.

196
00:12:08,897 --> 00:12:14,401
So, let's get outta here, because I want to
take a bubble bath and see how long you can

197
00:12:14,426 --> 00:12:17,471
- hold your breath underwater. 
- Oh my God!

198
00:12:32,417 --> 00:12:34,229
You all right?

199
00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:38,893
I'm ok. I'm much better... now.

200
00:12:41,034 --> 00:12:43,706
- Yeah, yeah, now I'm better.
- Let's hit the road.

201
00:12:43,731 --> 00:12:47,565
No, no. No! No, Jackie!

202
00:12:49,452 --> 00:12:52,706
Also "dateline" is on.

203
00:12:57,965 --> 00:13:00,346
- Go get in the car. 
- Ok.

204
00:13:01,952 --> 00:13:04,884
Hey, guys, sorry but I
couldn't really do what I

205
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:09,534
was supposed to do because she...
You know why? Because she touched it.

206
00:13:14,143 --> 00:13:16,255
Hey, Jackie, before you
go, there's something

207
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,182
that might not be
my place to say,

208
00:13:19,737 --> 00:13:23,268
but I don't think you're 
right for Danny right now.

209
00:13:29,923 --> 00:13:32,057
What did you just say to me?

210
00:13:33,183 --> 00:13:36,854
Uh-oh. I think he made it mad.

211
00:13:38,065 --> 00:13:43,185
- Look, I'm gonna, Ok. What I'm trying to. 
- I can't hear you.

212
00:13:43,210 --> 00:13:46,644
- I'm nervous. What I'm trying to say. 
- Yeah, yeah?

213
00:13:46,874 --> 00:13:48,870
I don't want to get involved,
but when it comes to my boy.

214
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:49,995
Oh!

215
00:13:51,241 --> 00:13:57,487
He's not your boy anymore. He's my
boy now. So you and both your chins,

216
00:14:00,078 --> 00:14:01,737
better step off.

217
00:14:02,158 --> 00:14:05,323
Hey, nobody talks about my man like that.

218
00:14:07,176 --> 00:14:10,589
Hey! Whoo! Not now, Popstar. 
This isn't a Disney show.

219
00:14:17,503 --> 00:14:21,214
Brett, could you take this 
to table three, please?

220
00:14:25,004 --> 00:14:29,237
Does anyone else need their face squished?

221
00:14:29,633 --> 00:14:38,565
No? Good. This little scene is over.

222
00:14:40,373 --> 00:14:43,714
I'm usually the person who says
the last thing at the end...

223
00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:48,940
Your hand smells really nice.

224
00:14:54,308 --> 00:14:56,979
You know, I don't know
if I want to get my hair cut.

225
00:14:57,085 --> 00:14:59,721
Too bad. You look too
much like me from behind.

226
00:14:59,892 --> 00:15:03,461
I'm gonna go Google how to cut hair.

227
00:15:07,719 --> 00:15:09,296
Ca-caw! Ca-caw!

228
00:15:10,890 --> 00:15:14,468
- What are you guys doing here?
- We're here to rescue you.

229
00:15:14,493 --> 00:15:17,976
Jackie is so mean. She squished
our faces when you were in the car.

230
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,531
You don't think I know that?
What do you think

231
00:15:19,556 --> 00:15:21,593
she was bragging about
all the way here?

232
00:15:22,734 --> 00:15:25,406
Are you going to tell her 
not to squish our faces?

233
00:15:26,445 --> 00:15:29,585
No! Of course not! I don't want 
to get mine squished!

234
00:15:29,852 --> 00:15:32,585
- Just shut up.
- Don't tell us to shut up.

235
00:15:32,610 --> 00:15:36,132
- We're here to help you.
- Shut up, shut up.

236
00:15:40,710 --> 00:15:42,217
Danny?

237
00:15:44,492 --> 00:15:46,656
Oh, forget it. Forget it.

238
00:15:47,967 --> 00:15:49,967
Hey, hey, hey.

239
00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:52,159
Hey. All right. Whatever
you guys gotta say,

240
00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:56,492
- just say it, but be quiet about it. 
- Danny, forget Jackie.

241
00:15:56,517 --> 00:15:59,085
You shouldn't be with 
somebody who will hurt you.

242
00:16:00,023 --> 00:16:03,757
Oh my gosh! Hurt me? Hurt me?!

243
00:16:03,782 --> 00:16:08,584
Do you subscribe to "Liars Weekly"? 
Nobody hurts me.

244
00:16:08,609 --> 00:16:11,687
I'm unhurtable. Ok?
Seriously you know the song by

245
00:16:11,712 --> 00:16:14,791
R.E.M., "Everybody Hurts"?
Once I went to their

246
00:16:14,816 --> 00:16:17,171
concert and the band
took me backstage and

247
00:16:17,196 --> 00:16:20,570
apologized naming the song 
"Everybody Hurts."

248
00:16:22,266 --> 00:16:24,266
They were like "hey, man, look I

249
00:16:24,291 --> 00:16:29,203
know that, you know, when we first wrote
this, I thought literally everybody hurted.

250
00:16:29,228 --> 00:16:34,414
Now looking at you in the audience, 
we changed our minds.

251
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:43,429
Would you pull yourself together? 
You're drooling all over yourself!

252
00:16:51,203 --> 00:16:53,156
Stop it! Look, Danny, just... knock it off.

253
00:16:53,181 --> 00:16:56,656
All right? We all know for
a fact that never happened.

254
00:16:56,681 --> 00:16:59,054
That would never happen.
On top of that, come

255
00:16:59,079 --> 00:17:01,273
with us. You've got to
get outta here now.

256
00:17:01,298 --> 00:17:04,099
No, I'm not moving. I'm 
putting my butt right on

257
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:09,327
- this couch, and I'm not movin'.
- Why do you sound like Al Pacino?

258
00:17:09,379 --> 00:17:11,671
It's the only thing I know how to do.

259
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:15,492
That's it, guys. Let's go.

260
00:17:17,419 --> 00:17:20,825
Come on. Are you serious?

261
00:17:20,850 --> 00:17:22,435
Seriously? Danny! Danny.

262
00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:27,084
- Oh, never mind. 
- Who's gonna open the door, idiot?

263
00:17:34,052 --> 00:17:35,872
I'm gonna be sick.

264
00:17:36,763 --> 00:17:40,075
Listen, I don't know
who that was. Who cares.

265
00:17:40,147 --> 00:17:43,310
You're never going to be free of
Jackie unless you admit she hurt you.

266
00:17:43,335 --> 00:17:44,391
You've got to tell her.

267
00:17:44,416 --> 00:17:46,685
I don't think I'm strong
enough to do it by myself.

268
00:17:46,710 --> 00:17:49,044
Fine, guys, couch moment.

269
00:17:53,127 --> 00:17:55,474
Look, you don't have
to do it by yourself.

270
00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:56,982
Yeah, you have us.

271
00:17:57,007 --> 00:17:59,429
Yeah, man. Like you
remember that time, and

272
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:01,919
I know you're scared of Jackie.
You remember

273
00:18:01,944 --> 00:18:04,239
that time we went and saw 
"Guardians of the Galaxy together?

274
00:18:04,264 --> 00:18:07,607
That movie with that little raccoon 
that looks just like just Justin?

275
00:18:07,631 --> 00:18:09,631
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

276
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:12,592
My chin is not that big. ***

277
00:18:14,437 --> 00:18:17,154
What he's trying to say is that the 
guardians by themselves were

278
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,755
weak but together they could 
defeat any bad guy.

279
00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:23,521
I don't know man, she's so vicious. 
She zeros in  on your biggest insecurity.

280
00:18:24,334 --> 00:18:25,404
Wow!

281
00:18:25,613 --> 00:18:30,068
From behind, three of you 
have bald spots.

282
00:18:33,771 --> 00:18:35,529
Come on, dummy, let's go.

283
00:18:35,554 --> 00:18:38,614
Ok. Hold on there, Missy.
He's not going anywhere.

284
00:18:38,638 --> 00:18:41,223
Oh, pipe down, guy who is
worried his girlfriend

285
00:18:41,248 --> 00:18:43,808
will finally realise that
she's too good for him.

286
00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:46,521
One step closer to the edge.

287
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:50,660
All right, look, you leathery alligator.
If you're going to

288
00:18:50,685 --> 00:18:53,810
mess with my brother, you're
going to have to go through me.

289
00:18:54,051 --> 00:18:58,302
Oh, please, with that haircut, 
you're like one Adidas

290
00:18:58,327 --> 00:19:01,732
track suit away from Jane Lynch.

291
00:19:03,654 --> 00:19:05,435
- Oh, yeah? 
- Yeah.

292
00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:08,802
Well, when the Drew Carey
show was on, I was 5.

293
00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:20,099
She's never gonna
love you, buddy.

294
00:19:22,398 --> 00:19:26,013
You got laid more when
you were straight!

295
00:19:30,233 --> 00:19:33,998
And you, the
dog on Frasier was better.

296
00:19:37,438 --> 00:19:40,537
- Anyone else? 
- Oh, I believe I'll pass.

297
00:19:42,057 --> 00:19:44,677
Look, Jackie, do you know what? You 
don't get to talk to my friends that way.

298
00:19:44,702 --> 00:19:50,977
I get it. When I was 17, I was
a kid. You turned me into a crazy

299
00:19:51,002 --> 00:19:57,037
egotistical maniac. But do you know what? 
You also did some bad things to me too.

300
00:19:57,889 --> 00:19:59,880
Ok? I mean, because of you, 
I don't trust women anymore.

301
00:19:59,905 --> 00:20:02,677
You really
hurt me. But thanks to all of these

302
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:06,263
friends, especially this 
little tiny raccoon friend,

303
00:20:08,059 --> 00:20:10,880
they're all helping me 
to be a better person.

304
00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:13,451
So you know what, goodbye, Jackie.

305
00:20:13,774 --> 00:20:20,162
- And don't come back.
- Oh, no. What will I do?

306
00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:26,671
You're my everything.
See you around, dummy.

307
00:20:32,535 --> 00:20:34,787
You did it. You finally
defeated your arch-enemy.

308
00:20:34,812 --> 00:20:36,130
Do you know what
they did to end the

309
00:20:36,155 --> 00:20:38,747
"Guardians of the Galaxy" when they 
did that? Defeated the bad guy?

310
00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:41,943
They did a slow motion hero walk.

311
00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:49,123
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
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