1 00:00:03,617 --> 00:00:06,148 Guys, honestly, I thought bachelor parties were supposed 2 00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:08,578 to be raunchy and all they're doing is talking... 3 00:00:09,053 --> 00:00:11,905 But they did give me these really cute and delicious candies. 4 00:00:11,930 --> 00:00:14,500 What do you think they are? Do you think they're little hot dogs? 5 00:00:16,896 --> 00:00:19,757 Sweetie, hot dogs don't have testicles. 6 00:00:21,343 --> 00:00:26,250 No way, candy penises. It's my second favorite kind of penis! 7 00:00:29,433 --> 00:00:32,192 Well, I'm just proud of you guys for not being over there and hitting on the 8 00:00:32,217 --> 00:00:35,119 vulnerable girls sad that they're not the ones getting married. 9 00:00:35,144 --> 00:00:40,348 - Guys like that are so lame. - Oh really? Is it so lame, is it so lame? 10 00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:44,169 Or am I trying to make some friends? 11 00:00:44,194 --> 00:00:48,818 Yeah, I did say I'd sub in if the stripper didn't show up but 12 00:00:48,843 --> 00:00:53,177 that's obviously the friendly thing to do when your body moves like this. 13 00:00:57,637 --> 00:00:59,678 Danny, I'm going to tell you the same thing I told my mom at the 14 00:00:59,702 --> 00:01:02,411 Pistons game after she finished her second beer... 15 00:01:02,436 --> 00:01:05,247 I love you but nobody wants to see you take your pants off. 16 00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:10,138 Look, forget about the bachelorettes, Candace and I decided something. 17 00:01:10,163 --> 00:01:14,591 - Tell him Boo. - Danny, we're so tired of getting to know 18 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,794 whatever dumb ass you're dating. 19 00:01:18,075 --> 00:01:19,880 Hey! They are not all dumb. 20 00:01:19,904 --> 00:01:24,919 The girl you brought to Thanksgiving thought Syria was a cool way to say serious 21 00:01:26,144 --> 00:01:29,638 Can you remember? Oh, I love gravy. 22 00:01:29,671 --> 00:01:32,349 Oh, my God I'm being totally "Syria!" 23 00:01:36,552 --> 00:01:39,357 Look, my point is one of my closest friends just moved back into 24 00:01:39,382 --> 00:01:43,294 town and I think the two of you would really hit it off. I think you'd click. 25 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:45,872 Oh, you think I need to be set up? 26 00:01:47,419 --> 00:01:50,849 Okay. That's hilarious. I'm going to 27 00:01:50,874 --> 00:01:54,864 laugh in each one of your faces. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! 28 00:01:54,889 --> 00:01:57,302 A British one for you: Ho! 29 00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,450 "That was really funny, mate." 30 00:02:01,473 --> 00:02:03,240 Cheerio. You know. 31 00:02:03,796 --> 00:02:07,278 Anyway, dude, I already met and am vibing with this really 32 00:02:07,303 --> 00:02:09,099 cool chick at the bachelor party. 33 00:02:09,124 --> 00:02:13,614 She's smart, funny and really cool, okay? Her name's Charlotte. Understand? 34 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:16,841 You guys kind of sound like the perfect match. 35 00:02:17,778 --> 00:02:21,505 - What are you talking about? - Oh Danny, we knew you wouldn't go for 36 00:02:21,530 --> 00:02:26,794 any girl we set you up with but you just lucked out because you just met her. 37 00:02:30,071 --> 00:02:32,396 No. No! Hold on, Charlotte? 38 00:02:37,379 --> 00:02:38,898 Yes? 39 00:02:38,923 --> 00:02:42,427 Tell me that you aren't already friends with Justin? 40 00:02:42,452 --> 00:02:45,153 You mean this nerdy guy who used to do my homework for me when we 41 00:02:45,178 --> 00:02:47,482 were 10 because I let him see me naked? 42 00:02:48,726 --> 00:02:52,177 Jokes on her, I love doing homework. 43 00:02:53,072 --> 00:02:56,450 Wait, Did Justin tell you that I look like a young Keanu Reeves? 44 00:02:56,474 --> 00:03:01,572 Uh no, you don't look like a young anyone because of how time works. 45 00:03:04,213 --> 00:03:06,896 Oh, she's a keeper! 46 00:03:07,768 --> 00:03:11,294 It might actually work out, you know, this time. 47 00:03:14,893 --> 00:03:17,685 -- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.addic7ed.com -- 48 00:03:17,709 --> 00:03:21,091 _ 49 00:04:34,158 --> 00:04:36,825 Hey, you guys see "The Wiz" last night? 50 00:04:36,850 --> 00:04:39,794 It was awesome. It was so great seeing that many 51 00:04:39,819 --> 00:04:43,060 black people on TV outside of the NBA finals. 52 00:04:45,732 --> 00:04:47,802 Brett, you should get in the game, that bachelorette party 53 00:04:47,827 --> 00:04:49,996 brought one of their gay best friends 54 00:04:50,021 --> 00:04:52,935 Oh yeah, you're right. Let me just get a quick pump on. 55 00:04:55,721 --> 00:04:58,653 - How's that? - Totally fixed it. 56 00:05:00,380 --> 00:05:04,044 Can I get a black eye. It's a shot of whiskey with a black and tan. 57 00:05:04,196 --> 00:05:07,216 How about a shot of whiskey with a white and chunky? 58 00:05:09,084 --> 00:05:10,457 I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 59 00:05:10,482 --> 00:05:13,005 I'm Brett and I hate myself. 60 00:05:13,912 --> 00:05:17,185 I thought it was cute. You want to sneak out of here? 61 00:05:23,977 --> 00:05:28,843 - So, uh, who's getting married? - Oh, my new boss, Suzy over there. 62 00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:34,303 - You go, girl! - No, you go, girl. 63 00:05:34,328 --> 00:05:38,178 Straight to hell. I hate her. 64 00:05:38,203 --> 00:05:41,843 She has perfect skin, a great ass and her father gave her a fashion line. 65 00:05:41,868 --> 00:05:45,478 Wait, don't be that mad you have some of those things. 66 00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:48,522 So, what are you into girl-wise? 67 00:05:48,547 --> 00:05:49,991 I feel like your sex life is a 68 00:05:50,024 --> 00:05:54,413 lot like Nick Cage's movie career. You'll do anything. 69 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:58,405 Yeah, in all fairness, I am trying to get past that. 70 00:05:58,430 --> 00:06:00,757 I bet when Nick Cage has sex and 71 00:06:00,782 --> 00:06:07,374 he finishes he says his own name. Ha, ha, ha! Nick Cage. 72 00:06:12,978 --> 00:06:16,514 Ha-ha. I have a kid. 73 00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:19,835 Sorry, that comes out at random times and I know what you're going 74 00:06:19,860 --> 00:06:22,421 to say: "you're too young to have a kid!" 75 00:06:25,179 --> 00:06:27,796 That was actually a really good impression of me but... 76 00:06:28,508 --> 00:06:31,593 - Hold on, I've forgot this part. - Oh whoa! 77 00:06:32,797 --> 00:06:35,966 Don't want to show your man parts. Anyway. 78 00:06:35,991 --> 00:06:37,897 Listen... 79 00:06:43,384 --> 00:06:46,764 You're showing your personality so I feel like I can show my balls. 80 00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:52,178 Don't get us canceled twice. 81 00:07:00,412 --> 00:07:02,460 Anyway... 82 00:07:03,910 --> 00:07:09,850 Anyway. Boy, you have a kid, that's great. Very cool 83 00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:12,210 You just like made that with your body or... 84 00:07:13,014 --> 00:07:15,085 Yeah. That's kind of how it works. 85 00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:17,241 His name is Will but he's four, so my body has had plenty of 86 00:07:17,266 --> 00:07:22,093 time to bounce back down there, you know tighten up and... 87 00:07:22,118 --> 00:07:24,821 Am I ruining this or are you asking me out? 88 00:07:24,846 --> 00:07:27,718 Well, I was going to ask you out for the past hour but you've been talking 89 00:07:27,766 --> 00:07:33,311 about you vagina bounced back. So, do you want to go out tomorrow? 90 00:07:33,336 --> 00:07:36,405 Sure! If... 91 00:07:44,077 --> 00:07:47,662 You know what, don't act like you two knew this was going to happen. 92 00:07:47,687 --> 00:07:50,053 You're right, if I knew that my 93 00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:52,718 best friend and oldest gal pal were going to get together, 94 00:07:52,743 --> 00:07:54,733 I would have brought the gospel choir you and I sing 95 00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:59,436 with every weekend. One, two, three, four... 96 00:07:59,469 --> 00:08:08,217 ♪ hallelujah, hallelujah. ♪ ♪ And they shall date forever and ever ♪ 97 00:08:08,242 --> 00:08:16,115 ♪ hallelujah, hallelujah. ♪ ♪ hallelujah, hallelujah. ♪ 98 00:08:16,139 --> 00:08:21,803 ♪ hallelujah, hallelujah. ♪ 99 00:08:35,929 --> 00:08:37,975 You know, I haven't seen Brett in a while. 100 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,616 What happened with him and that guy last night? 101 00:08:40,073 --> 00:08:41,577 He actually just texted me. 102 00:08:41,602 --> 00:08:45,249 What do you think an emoji of a beer keg and a donkey means? 103 00:08:47,147 --> 00:08:49,710 It means he tapped that ass. 104 00:08:56,842 --> 00:09:00,264 Wow, you look so cute all dressed up. 105 00:09:00,898 --> 00:09:03,303 You know I promised I wouldn't get too excited 106 00:09:03,328 --> 00:09:05,874 but seeing you excited is getting me excited. 107 00:09:06,398 --> 00:09:09,483 Look, could you two stop acting like I'm a kid getting ready to go to prom? 108 00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:12,835 - Sorry. - I'm going to take some pictures. 109 00:09:13,748 --> 00:09:16,561 I know you won't stop me because you don't mind new photos out there, 110 00:09:16,585 --> 00:09:19,788 - so, you will always pose - Come on dude, put the phone... 111 00:09:20,349 --> 00:09:22,233 Come on, man, I hate that, dude. 112 00:09:22,258 --> 00:09:24,655 Stop taking pictures, dude. 113 00:09:28,343 --> 00:09:31,303 Very cool, very cool, very cool. 114 00:09:32,632 --> 00:09:34,850 I mean, this is a grown up move for you, Danny. 115 00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:37,046 Has anybody else here ever dated a woman with a kid? 116 00:09:37,071 --> 00:09:39,335 I once dated a guy with a 14-year-old son. 117 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:43,694 Such a sweet boy. He was mostly into baseball and stealing my underwear. 118 00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:46,796 I want you to get that underwear back. 119 00:09:46,821 --> 00:09:50,514 Question: Do you have any photos of you in it so I know what I'm looking for? 120 00:09:52,151 --> 00:09:55,913 Listen, I really don't think Charlotte having a kid is that big of a deal. 121 00:09:55,938 --> 00:10:00,647 What, are you kidding me? It's a huge deal. My mother was a single parent 122 00:10:00,672 --> 00:10:02,538 I latched on to every guy she dated. 123 00:10:02,562 --> 00:10:06,741 Jose, Hector, Carlos, Esteban. 124 00:10:07,842 --> 00:10:10,608 Justin's mom was serving in a Mexican restaurant 125 00:10:11,538 --> 00:10:15,928 The point is, when you date somebody with a kid, it's immediately more serious. 126 00:10:15,953 --> 00:10:19,796 It's real, it's more "importante". 127 00:10:21,044 --> 00:10:23,764 - Do you guys all feel this way? - [All agree] Yeah 128 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,827 Si. 129 00:10:28,664 --> 00:10:35,077 You look like a sexy vampire. I'm gonna call you Count Rackula. 130 00:10:36,155 --> 00:10:38,608 Thanks Shel. I'm wearing three pairs of Spanx. 131 00:10:38,633 --> 00:10:42,069 They're so tight I had to ride in my uber like this. 132 00:10:43,069 --> 00:10:44,530 You ready to go? 133 00:10:44,555 --> 00:10:49,383 Uh, listen, I'm sorry Charlotte but I don't think I can be your son's Esteban. 134 00:10:51,044 --> 00:10:55,320 You idiot! Did you scare him away with the story of your mom and Escobar, 135 00:10:55,347 --> 00:10:58,476 and Jose and all the bus boys she banged? 136 00:10:58,522 --> 00:11:03,640 First off, it was Esteban not Escobar you racist, alright? 137 00:11:04,577 --> 00:11:06,577 Sorry, I'm just watching Narcos. 138 00:11:08,109 --> 00:11:09,703 Does anyone want to make this day worse? 139 00:11:09,728 --> 00:11:10,765 Yep, I'll give it a shot. 140 00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:13,750 So, you know the gay guy at your boss's bachelorette party? 141 00:11:13,914 --> 00:11:16,656 There was no gay guy, just the groom who stopped by for a minute 142 00:11:16,681 --> 00:11:17,953 Exactly. 143 00:11:18,906 --> 00:11:22,047 So, I slept with the groom. 144 00:11:38,328 --> 00:11:41,594 So, you think Charlotte's still mad? 145 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,047 Yeah. I do. 146 00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:48,383 Of course I am mad, you set me up with a guy who immediately 147 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:53,476 bailed and Mary Poppins over here decided to open up his umbrella 148 00:11:53,501 --> 00:11:55,695 inside my boss's fiance. 149 00:11:57,757 --> 00:12:01,148 Don't be pissed at me, as soon as I realized it was the groom, 150 00:12:01,173 --> 00:12:04,484 I had a shower and got out of there. 151 00:12:05,293 --> 00:12:08,640 Be real with her Brett. Were you in that shower alone? 152 00:12:08,910 --> 00:12:14,015 Was I in the shower alone? Nope, there were two penis's, so no. 153 00:12:17,942 --> 00:12:20,476 Sounds like some of my showers recently. 154 00:12:24,297 --> 00:12:25,375 ... marrying a gay guy. 155 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:29,492 Just casually bring it up at work in the break room. 156 00:12:29,517 --> 00:12:32,812 You get a yogurt, you walk up and say you know what I like about this yogurt? 157 00:12:32,837 --> 00:12:34,469 The fruit at the bottom. 158 00:12:35,166 --> 00:12:38,226 And you know who else loves the bottom? 159 00:12:41,785 --> 00:12:45,745 You know what, it's really too bad, you guys would have been such a good couple. 160 00:12:45,770 --> 00:12:51,362 You're both loud and edgy and really pale. 161 00:12:53,557 --> 00:12:55,425 You're like a female Danny. 162 00:12:55,450 --> 00:12:58,206 I wish I could find a female Shelly. 163 00:13:02,118 --> 00:13:04,081 Look. 164 00:13:11,321 --> 00:13:13,573 - You want to smoke weed? - You want to smoke weed? 165 00:13:23,757 --> 00:13:26,362 I can't believe you ran out on Charlotte just because she has a kid. 166 00:13:26,387 --> 00:13:28,440 Listen, I'm mad at myself too. Okay? 167 00:13:28,465 --> 00:13:30,886 You know the scene in "Footloose" where Kevin Bacon is 168 00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:33,901 so pissed at the world because he just wants to dance but it's against the law? 169 00:13:33,926 --> 00:13:35,980 I've been doing that angry dance. 170 00:13:53,491 --> 00:13:56,393 Hey, taking off was super weak. 171 00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:58,401 Dude, why did you bring Burski? 172 00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:01,112 I didn't even know he was in the car until I pulled into the driveway. 173 00:14:03,557 --> 00:14:05,558 I have was hiding in the backseat. 174 00:14:06,582 --> 00:14:08,972 Why don't you go out with Charlotte and see what happens? 175 00:14:08,997 --> 00:14:14,315 Because I really like her! I had a whole conversation with her for like an hour and 176 00:14:14,340 --> 00:14:18,636 you know what? I would probably do it again and it's like, who feels that way? 177 00:14:20,179 --> 00:14:22,925 Look, I know it's scary when 178 00:14:22,950 --> 00:14:26,230 a relationship already feels real and it's not even the beginning. 179 00:14:26,255 --> 00:14:28,987 Yeah, it's terrifying except now there's a kid 180 00:14:29,012 --> 00:14:32,549 involved so obviously he's going to think I'm awesome so it's like... 181 00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:34,888 What do I do? I mean what happens with the 182 00:14:34,913 --> 00:14:36,605 kid if I screw things up like I normally do? 183 00:14:36,630 --> 00:14:39,690 Okay, What is wrong with you? Okay? 184 00:14:39,715 --> 00:14:41,831 The one thing about my brother that I've always been 185 00:14:41,856 --> 00:14:45,300 jealous of is your completely unearned confidence. 186 00:14:46,512 --> 00:14:49,308 That is true. You know how everybody has a voice inside them that tells 187 00:14:49,333 --> 00:14:53,183 them how they are, mine goes like this: "Hey Danny, you're awesome no matter what 188 00:14:53,208 --> 00:14:56,581 anybody says, you're so beautiful and bold and strong... 189 00:14:57,010 --> 00:14:59,144 and no matter what you can do anything." 190 00:15:01,124 --> 00:15:05,847 The voice inside my head just says "wine and cheeses are not a meal". 191 00:15:08,312 --> 00:15:10,878 That's so sad. Anyway, look, the problem is... 192 00:15:11,499 --> 00:15:15,141 The problem is that like Charlotte's so cool that she's like 193 00:15:15,166 --> 00:15:18,745 twisting me up and that voice I have is gone. 194 00:15:19,748 --> 00:15:26,222 You're the best, Danny. You're so beautiful and bold and strong. 195 00:15:27,190 --> 00:15:29,690 Man, what are you doing? 196 00:15:32,216 --> 00:15:35,284 I'm saying I'll be the voice in your head if you need it, man. 197 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:38,433 Because you have a chance at something real here. 198 00:15:38,663 --> 00:15:43,567 Every day I go into that bar and hangout with a girl I'm crazy about 199 00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:49,300 in hopes that someday if I wait long enough something real could happen. 200 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:55,222 You're so lucky you don't have to wait. Don't, don't miss your chance man. 201 00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:15,292 Never speak of this moment. 202 00:16:21,449 --> 00:16:23,449 I kissed your sister. 203 00:16:35,355 --> 00:16:38,605 Thank you again for hosting my party at this bar. 204 00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:39,301 You're welcome. 205 00:16:39,325 --> 00:16:41,660 Doug, will you go settle up with the bartender? 206 00:16:41,685 --> 00:16:46,380 - And make sure you give him a big tip. - Oh, he already did. 207 00:16:48,153 --> 00:16:52,082 Hahahaha, oh, good one, Shelly. Ha-ha. 208 00:16:53,184 --> 00:16:56,817 Suzy, Justin here has something he'd like to say to you. You're up. 209 00:16:58,037 --> 00:17:00,411 - Um, hello. - Hi. 210 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:03,081 Suzy, when you and Doug go 211 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:06,801 out for ice cream, you split a hot fudge sundae, do you get it 212 00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:11,075 with all the works, the whipped cream, the sprinkles? The nuts? 213 00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:13,098 No, Doug hates nuts. 214 00:17:14,582 --> 00:17:16,066 See, that's where you're wrong. 215 00:17:16,091 --> 00:17:19,651 Okay! I'm going to borrow him for one second 216 00:17:19,676 --> 00:17:22,347 You know that old saying if you can't say anything nice, 217 00:17:22,372 --> 00:17:24,717 let your boss marry a gay guy. 218 00:17:26,235 --> 00:17:29,833 Oh, hey Charlotte great, you're still here, can we talk? 219 00:17:30,426 --> 00:17:33,739 Sure, let me just say goodbye to my friends here. Good to see you again. 220 00:17:33,763 --> 00:17:36,739 Oh! Hey Suzy. Good to see you again. 221 00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:41,950 So, cool move bringing the hot guy to the party for my friend, Brett. 222 00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:47,060 You guys old friends or what? 223 00:17:47,085 --> 00:17:50,606 - Excuse me? - Well, I'm just wondering how 224 00:17:50,631 --> 00:17:52,348 you know Brett 's boyfriend. 225 00:17:56,138 --> 00:18:00,208 - What? - No. No, Danny, no boyfriend. 226 00:18:00,804 --> 00:18:04,567 Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Message received. 227 00:18:05,097 --> 00:18:09,403 How long have you known the guy who Brett is having sex with? 228 00:18:12,708 --> 00:18:16,465 - What are you talking about? - I feel like I'm being very clear. 229 00:18:19,642 --> 00:18:23,583 He had sexual intercourse with him. 230 00:18:24,674 --> 00:18:28,333 And I'm wondering how you know him. 231 00:18:31,139 --> 00:18:34,715 You're gay? Are you kidding me? 232 00:18:34,869 --> 00:18:38,325 Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady. It is 2015. 233 00:18:39,167 --> 00:18:41,768 Okay. Give me one good reason why he 234 00:18:41,793 --> 00:18:45,062 can't have hot sex with that man over there. 235 00:18:45,518 --> 00:18:47,762 Because he's my fiance. 236 00:18:49,918 --> 00:18:52,075 That's actually a really good reason. 237 00:18:54,755 --> 00:19:02,473 Bye, Suze, love you, mean it. Good job. 238 00:19:02,723 --> 00:19:07,286 Wow, guys, you know what, I'm glad that this happened because 239 00:19:07,311 --> 00:19:11,168 people should know what they're getting into before they start a relationship. 240 00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:12,794 So, yeah, for Suzy maybe that 241 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:16,380 means she needs to decide if she wants to marry a guy who is fine 242 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:18,356 with kissing other guys. 243 00:19:22,551 --> 00:19:25,840 Yes, and for you, Danny, it means deciding whether or not 244 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:28,161 you're grown up enough to date my awesome friend who just so 245 00:19:28,186 --> 00:19:30,145 happens to have a child. 246 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:33,575 You know, if it was up to me, I'd ask her 247 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,700 out again but, you're too chicken. 248 00:19:39,739 --> 00:19:41,294 You're the best, Danny. 249 00:19:47,793 --> 00:19:50,145 Thanks, voice inside Danny's head. 250 00:19:50,681 --> 00:19:53,278 Look, I'm sorry I chickened out 251 00:19:53,303 --> 00:19:56,270 the first time and I'd love another chance if you're up for it. 252 00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:58,567 I'd love to take you out for some pizza later. 253 00:19:58,591 --> 00:20:00,684 Sorry, you blew it. 254 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,989 Just kidding, I was pretending I had some self esteem. Let's go! 255 00:20:04,724 --> 00:20:06,052 Mama Boogie! 256 00:20:09,497 --> 00:20:13,166 Yep. I knew this would all work out. 257 00:20:13,191 --> 00:20:15,442 Hey, no you didn't, all right. 258 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,348 Choir! 259 00:20:28,033 --> 00:20:34,044 -- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.addic7ed.com --