1
00:00:00,015 --> 00:00:01,101
Back in the '80s,

2
00:00:01,117 --> 00:00:03,327
we all wanted to be a badass fighter pilot

3
00:00:03,352 --> 00:00:05,928
thanks to the cinematic
Masterpiece that was "Top Gun",

4
00:00:05,953 --> 00:00:08,154
and no one loved it more than my big bro.

5
00:00:08,222 --> 00:00:10,890
You're handsome and clear for takeoff.

6
00:00:10,958 --> 00:00:13,059
Yeah, he was a real Maverick.

7
00:00:13,127 --> 00:00:15,428
His fighter jet was our beat-up
station wagon,

8
00:00:15,496 --> 00:00:17,863
and his co-pilot... My annoyed sister.

9
00:00:17,932 --> 00:00:20,232
Dear god, you have been flipping knobs
for five minutes!

10
00:00:20,301 --> 00:00:21,567
Just go already.

11
00:00:21,636 --> 00:00:25,171
We ain't going anywhere
till tower clears us for takeoff.

12
00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:27,006
You're clear.

13
00:00:29,193 --> 00:00:30,138
But as fate would have it,

14
00:00:30,178 --> 00:00:33,513
my brother's high-flying dreams
were about to become a reality.

15
00:00:33,582 --> 00:00:36,642
Great Goose's ghost.

16
00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:38,893
Today, our lives change forever, boys.

17
00:00:39,011 --> 00:00:40,010
Behold.

18
00:00:40,078 --> 00:00:43,179
Junior ROTC.

19
00:00:43,248 --> 00:00:45,017
That's like ‭pre-pre-military training.

20
00:00:45,042 --> 00:00:47,275
Dude, I think they give you
free camo when you sign up.

21
00:00:47,344 --> 00:00:48,977
Sweet. Now I can hide from my mean cousin

22
00:00:49,046 --> 00:00:50,233
When we visit my uncle's farm.

23
00:00:56,078 --> 00:00:57,397
Morning, gentlemen.

24
00:00:57,422 --> 00:00:59,333
Interested in joining up with junior ROTC?

25
00:00:59,358 --> 00:01:01,189
I need able-bodied leaders
with fire in their bellies

26
00:01:01,258 --> 00:01:02,322
looking to make a difference.

27
00:01:02,347 --> 00:01:03,978
That's so weird.

28
00:01:04,003 --> 00:01:06,828
I'm an able-bodied person
with a fiery belly

29
00:01:06,853 --> 00:01:09,219
who's ready to fly your jets
and push your envelopes

30
00:01:09,244 --> 00:01:10,648
and play ‭shirtless beach volleyball.

31
00:01:10,673 --> 00:01:11,533
What?

32
00:01:11,602 --> 00:01:12,834
It's proven to be a nice diversion

33
00:01:12,903 --> 00:01:14,202
from the pressures of flight school.

34
00:01:14,271 --> 00:01:15,937
What's your name, son?

35
00:01:16,006 --> 00:01:18,362
Barry Norman Goldberg,
nickname not yet decided.

36
00:01:18,387 --> 00:01:21,676
You will be amazed by our strength
and determination, sir!

37
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:24,880
I've got English on the third floor.

38
00:01:24,948 --> 00:01:26,081
So many stairs.

39
00:01:26,150 --> 00:01:27,962
Naked Rob, Piggyback.

40
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You got it, bro.

41
00:01:28,919 --> 00:01:30,719
Never leave a man behind.

42
00:01:34,658 --> 00:01:36,086
♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪

43
00:01:36,111 --> 00:01:39,628
♪ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪

44
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Synced and corrected b-
y Nest0r www.addic7ed.com

45
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♪ I don't know the future ♪

46
00:01:43,634 --> 00:01:48,370
♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪

47
00:01:48,438 --> 00:01:50,839
It was November 22, 1980-something,

48
00:01:50,908 --> 00:01:54,442
and I was spending the day
with my loyal best bud, Pops.

49
00:01:54,511 --> 00:01:57,379
Your mom was nuts to take away my license.

50
00:01:57,447 --> 00:01:58,480
Look at me go!

51
00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:02,195
Despite his age, my grandpa
was the youngest dude I knew.

52
00:02:02,220 --> 00:02:04,220
- Winner!
- ‭Balls!

53
00:02:04,288 --> 00:02:06,891
You want to go hustle
some suckers at air hockey?

54
00:02:06,916 --> 00:02:09,876
I'm old ‭with a wallet full of cash.

55
00:02:09,901 --> 00:02:12,633
How do I play this ice ping-pong?

56
00:02:12,658 --> 00:02:15,231
After we hustled some kids in air hockey,

57
00:02:15,299 --> 00:02:17,900
Pops set his sights on our next target.

58
00:02:17,969 --> 00:02:20,536
Whoa, whoa. Look at this.

59
00:02:20,605 --> 00:02:21,804
Free movie tickets.

60
00:02:21,872 --> 00:02:24,401
What do you say we play
a couple more chumps?

61
00:02:24,425 --> 00:02:26,592
Mom says to be weary of Timeshare people.

62
00:02:26,661 --> 00:02:28,427
They're the gypsies of the mall.

63
00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:31,731
All we got to do is listen
to them jabber for a half-hour

64
00:02:31,799 --> 00:02:34,700
and then see "Mad Max:
Thunderdome" on their dime.

65
00:02:34,769 --> 00:02:36,302
Sign me up.

66
00:02:38,934 --> 00:02:39,925
Howdy, folks.

67
00:02:39,949 --> 00:02:41,416
And welcome.

68
00:02:41,484 --> 00:02:43,222
I'm John Calabasas,

69
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:47,215
the president and C.E.O.
of John Calabasas' Timeshares.

70
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,070
Thank you very much. That's very kind.

71
00:02:51,139 --> 00:02:52,772
Oh, stop. Thank you so much.

72
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:58,177
Folks, who would like to live
in the condo of their dreams?

73
00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,712
For two months out of the year.

74
00:02:59,781 --> 00:03:01,647
I'm talking about Timeshares, y'all.

75
00:03:01,716 --> 00:03:03,416
Question. Yes, sir.

76
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,551
If we decide not to buy today,

77
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,887
do we still get the movie tickets?

78
00:03:07,956 --> 00:03:10,434
That's the deal, but I can
promise you this, sir...

79
00:03:10,459 --> 00:03:11,457
At the end of today,

80
00:03:11,526 --> 00:03:13,259
you're not gonna be thinking
about movie tickets.

81
00:03:13,328 --> 00:03:14,560
You're gonna be thinking about

82
00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:17,830
Boca sands resort and tennis club.

83
00:03:17,899 --> 00:03:21,534
I'm intrigued about this
exciting opportunity.

84
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:24,966
Movie tickets all locked up.

85
00:03:24,991 --> 00:03:26,451
So began an epic speech

86
00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:28,360
designed to pull in old suckers.

87
00:03:28,429 --> 00:03:30,996
Lucky for me, Pops was young at heart.

88
00:03:31,065 --> 00:03:34,256
Complete with sauna and recently
disinfected steam room.

89
00:03:34,343 --> 00:03:37,578
The best overly air-conditioned
chain restaurants

90
00:03:37,646 --> 00:03:39,947
that open for dinner at 3:00 P.M.

91
00:03:40,016 --> 00:03:43,884
Not only is it sunny
year-round in our community,

92
00:03:43,953 --> 00:03:47,621
the women outnumber
the gentlemen three to one.

93
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Sold!

94
00:03:50,593 --> 00:03:52,593
Oh, my god.

95
00:03:52,661 --> 00:03:54,762
Pops actually bought a place in Florida?!

96
00:03:54,830 --> 00:03:56,330
Right? It's a nightmare.

97
00:03:56,399 --> 00:03:57,398
Hello?!

98
00:03:57,466 --> 00:03:59,199
We're gonna have our own beach condo.

99
00:03:59,268 --> 00:04:02,036
Think of all the spring
breaks, the Latin guys,

100
00:04:02,104 --> 00:04:05,172
the romantic walks on the beach
with the Latin guys.

101
00:04:05,241 --> 00:04:06,473
Why do I come to you?

102
00:04:06,542 --> 00:04:08,108
You need to chill. It's a Timeshare.

103
00:04:08,177 --> 00:04:09,610
He'll be gone two months a year.

104
00:04:09,678 --> 00:04:12,379
Everyone knows a Timeshare
is a gateway property.

105
00:04:12,448 --> 00:04:13,881
Two months becomes six.

106
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:14,982
Six become a year.

107
00:04:15,051 --> 00:04:16,850
And a year turns into forever.

108
00:04:16,919 --> 00:04:17,912
So?

109
00:04:17,937 --> 00:04:20,387
Pops is old,
and that's what all old people do.

110
00:04:20,456 --> 00:04:22,322
Stop saying that. Pops isn't old.

111
00:04:22,391 --> 00:04:23,557
He's 80.

112
00:04:23,626 --> 00:04:25,793
Who cares? I measure age in spirit.

113
00:04:25,861 --> 00:04:28,295
Well, I measure age by when you were born.

114
00:04:28,364 --> 00:04:30,064
And for Pops, that's 1903.

115
00:04:30,124 --> 00:04:32,058
- Holy crap. Seriously?
- ‭Oh, yeah.

116
00:04:33,335 --> 00:04:35,990
Shut up! Everyone shut up!

117
00:04:36,015 --> 00:04:36,970
I got Barry news.

118
00:04:37,039 --> 00:04:38,172
Everybody stop talking.

119
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,740
What is it, snuggle monster?

120
00:04:39,809 --> 00:04:41,008
I joined the military.

121
00:04:41,077 --> 00:04:42,609
Boom! What's that now?

122
00:04:42,678 --> 00:04:44,144
Good stuff. What branch?

123
00:04:44,213 --> 00:04:45,779
The one with the planes and boats.

124
00:04:45,848 --> 00:04:47,081
You're welcome, America.

125
00:04:47,149 --> 00:04:49,116
I just need you to sign
this permission slip.

126
00:04:49,185 --> 00:04:50,384
Absolutely not.

127
00:04:50,453 --> 00:04:51,919
Being a soldier is number one

128
00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:54,321
on my list of jobs ‭too
dangerous for my children.

129
00:04:54,390 --> 00:04:55,389
List? What list?

130
00:04:55,458 --> 00:04:56,957
Oh, god. Not the list.

131
00:04:57,026 --> 00:04:59,493
I knew one day my kids
would join the workforce,

132
00:04:59,562 --> 00:05:02,362
so like a good mother,
I compiled a list of occupations

133
00:05:02,431 --> 00:05:04,031
that are strictly off-limits.

134
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:06,133
Why can't I be a construction worker?

135
00:05:06,202 --> 00:05:09,736
Eating lunch on a suspended beam
with your legs dangling down?

136
00:05:09,805 --> 00:05:10,671
No way.

137
00:05:10,739 --> 00:05:11,705
No pro sports?

138
00:05:11,774 --> 00:05:13,373
Except golf, but you can't drive around

139
00:05:13,442 --> 00:05:15,142
in one of those buggies with no seat belt.

140
00:05:15,211 --> 00:05:17,544
- Astronaut? ‭ - Your
sensitive tummy at zero g?

141
00:05:17,613 --> 00:05:18,812
- Deli guy?‭ - Meat slicer?

142
00:05:18,881 --> 00:05:20,080
- Government clerk?
- ‭Paper cut?

143
00:05:20,149 --> 00:05:22,416
- Robot technician?
- ‭Robot uprising?

144
00:05:22,485 --> 00:05:24,351
This is nuts. Pops was in the army.

145
00:05:24,420 --> 00:05:27,154
And he is a hero. ‭
couldn'tbe prouder of him.

146
00:05:27,223 --> 00:05:28,589
But I want to be a hero.

147
00:05:28,657 --> 00:05:29,857
And you can be...

148
00:05:29,925 --> 00:05:32,259
As an orthodontist or a Maître d

149
00:05:32,328 --> 00:05:36,597
or as one of those guys
who tests pillows for softness.

150
00:05:36,665 --> 00:05:38,566
Yep. All hope was lost.

151
00:05:38,591 --> 00:05:39,690
I'll sign it.

152
00:05:39,758 --> 00:05:40,958
And then found.

153
00:05:41,026 --> 00:05:41,645
Really?

154
00:05:41,685 --> 00:05:44,386
I did ROTC. It changed my life.

155
00:05:44,455 --> 00:05:47,704
And I fully support this as long
as your mother never finds out.

156
00:05:47,729 --> 00:05:51,173
And one more thing... If you
do this, there's no quitting.

157
00:05:51,198 --> 00:05:51,846
I mean it.

158
00:05:51,854 --> 00:05:53,086
10-4, good buddy.

159
00:05:53,155 --> 00:05:54,054
That's trucker talk.

160
00:05:54,123 --> 00:05:55,689
Aye-aye, Matey.

161
00:05:55,758 --> 00:05:56,690
That's pirate.

162
00:05:56,759 --> 00:05:58,876
Hmm.

163
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,400
While Barry was committed to the army,

164
00:06:00,468 --> 00:06:03,750
I was committed to showing
Pops just how young he was.

165
00:06:03,775 --> 00:06:05,842
There he is, rockin' the new duds.

166
00:06:05,911 --> 00:06:07,043
You dig 'em, homey?

167
00:06:07,112 --> 00:06:08,712
They're roomy where I need them,

168
00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:10,413
but kind of drafty where I don't.

169
00:06:10,474 --> 00:06:11,414
Perfect!

170
00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:14,164
Let's go hit the town and live
it up while we're still young.

171
00:06:14,877 --> 00:06:15,629
What the...

172
00:06:15,697 --> 00:06:17,530
How did your zubaz get so high?

173
00:06:17,599 --> 00:06:19,165
They ride up. I don't know.

174
00:06:19,234 --> 00:06:21,001
They have a mind of their own.

175
00:06:21,069 --> 00:06:22,769
Now all you can see is "Frankie says".

176
00:06:22,838 --> 00:06:24,070
No one will know to relax.

177
00:06:24,139 --> 00:06:27,024
Who is this Frankie, and why
does he want me to relax?

178
00:06:27,033 --> 00:06:28,299
All you need to know

179
00:06:28,368 --> 00:06:30,435
is you look half your age
in those zubaz pants.

180
00:06:30,503 --> 00:06:31,936
Way too young for Florida.

181
00:06:32,005 --> 00:06:34,205
Oh, so that's what this is about.

182
00:06:34,274 --> 00:06:36,174
Kiddo, it's just two months.

183
00:06:36,242 --> 00:06:39,110
Two months in middle-school
years is like a decade.

184
00:06:39,179 --> 00:06:40,244
Come on, pal.

185
00:06:40,313 --> 00:06:42,347
Pops says relax.

186
00:06:42,415 --> 00:06:44,756
Don't you use that catchphrase against me!

187
00:06:44,781 --> 00:06:46,081
I will not relax!

188
00:06:46,158 --> 00:06:47,891
Where you going?

189
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,728
To my other grandpa,
the one who'd never leave me.

190
00:06:50,796 --> 00:06:51,562
Pop-pop?

191
00:06:51,632 --> 00:06:55,017
You really want to replace me
with that spiteful old bastard?

192
00:06:55,042 --> 00:06:57,720
Already done. Have fun in Florida.

193
00:06:57,745 --> 00:06:59,799
I'll be living it up here with Pop-pop

194
00:06:59,808 --> 00:07:01,841
having crazy amounts of fun.

195
00:07:01,910 --> 00:07:04,123
This is fun.

196
00:07:04,148 --> 00:07:05,748
So much fun.

197
00:07:05,817 --> 00:07:08,084
Shh. I'm reading the stocks.

198
00:07:08,152 --> 00:07:09,919
Yep. This was my grandfather Ben.

199
00:07:09,987 --> 00:07:12,555
He was the anti-Pops who could
never catch a break.

200
00:07:12,623 --> 00:07:14,757
Damn IBM! I should have invested.

201
00:07:14,826 --> 00:07:16,759
I'd be a millionaire.

202
00:07:16,828 --> 00:07:18,627
Instead, I lost it all on cigaroos.

203
00:07:18,696 --> 00:07:19,895
What's that?

204
00:07:19,964 --> 00:07:21,697
Cigarettes for kids. Yeah.

205
00:07:21,766 --> 00:07:23,672
They had a spokesbunny.

206
00:07:23,697 --> 00:07:26,431
Isn't that adorable? It was a slam dunk!

207
00:07:27,625 --> 00:07:31,121
As I was bonding with Pop-pop,
Barry was ready for action.

208
00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:32,962
Barry Norman Goldberg
reporting for duty, sir!

209
00:07:33,031 --> 00:07:35,064
Son, I told you three times.
I know you're here.

210
00:07:35,133 --> 00:07:37,133
Question... When do we get
our nicknames assigned,

211
00:07:37,158 --> 00:07:39,270
'cause I'm thinking I'm gonna be Sky Shark.

212
00:07:39,295 --> 00:07:40,333
I call Sky Tiger.

213
00:07:40,381 --> 00:07:41,957
Dude, I told you Sky Tiger was my nickname.

214
00:07:41,982 --> 00:07:44,357
No one's Sky Tiger. I'm Sky Shark.

215
00:07:44,382 --> 00:07:45,914
There can't be two Skies.

216
00:07:45,983 --> 00:07:47,216
I was kind of thinking Thunder Shark.

217
00:07:47,284 --> 00:07:48,951
Oh, that's good! No, bro! I'm the Shark!

218
00:07:50,955 --> 00:07:51,983
Enough!

219
00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:55,298
Instead of nicknames, how about this...
Give me 20 push-ups.

220
00:07:55,323 --> 00:07:57,590
If my body's already in peak
physical condition,

221
00:07:57,659 --> 00:07:59,292
can I pass and practice instead?

222
00:07:59,361 --> 00:08:01,461
Practice what? ‭Volleyball.

223
00:08:01,529 --> 00:08:02,862
You know, ‭for when we go to the beach

224
00:08:02,931 --> 00:08:04,264
and flex our young, glistening bodies.

225
00:08:04,332 --> 00:08:05,498
I'm kind of body-conscious,

226
00:08:05,567 --> 00:08:07,066
so I'm not gonna pop
off my shirt at the beach,

227
00:08:07,135 --> 00:08:08,971
if that's cool. He's got an outie.

228
00:08:08,996 --> 00:08:10,596
Shh! There's no volleyball.

229
00:08:10,665 --> 00:08:13,766
Son, if you're not here to work,
you're worthless to me.

230
00:08:13,835 --> 00:08:15,311
But I was led to believe I'm special.

231
00:08:15,343 --> 00:08:17,576
You want special treatment?
Drop and give me 40!

232
00:08:20,748 --> 00:08:22,881
Hey! ‭How was training, big guy?

233
00:08:24,418 --> 00:08:26,885
Captain Wallace says I'm, like,
better than Rambo, the real one.

234
00:08:26,954 --> 00:08:28,120
They're friends.

235
00:08:28,189 --> 00:08:30,322
Well, I'm just proud
that you're sticking with it.

236
00:08:30,391 --> 00:08:31,991
Oh, yeah. Stick-to-it Barry.

237
00:08:32,059 --> 00:08:34,293
That's what they call me.

238
00:08:35,463 --> 00:08:37,029
Mom!

239
00:08:37,098 --> 00:08:39,064
Dad secretly signed a permission slip

240
00:08:39,133 --> 00:08:40,699
to get me in basic training.

241
00:08:40,768 --> 00:08:42,701
Now I need to have you
secretly get me out of it.

242
00:08:42,770 --> 00:08:43,836
- What?! ‭ - Shh!

243
00:08:43,904 --> 00:08:45,137
Dad won't let me quit,

244
00:08:45,206 --> 00:08:47,640
but Captain Wallace is super
demanding and angry.

245
00:08:47,708 --> 00:08:48,874
He called me worthless.

246
00:08:48,943 --> 00:08:50,542
Are you kidding me?

247
00:08:50,611 --> 00:08:51,710
I know. Right?

248
00:08:51,779 --> 00:08:52,845
Worthless?

249
00:08:52,913 --> 00:08:54,346
Well, obviously, he's never seen you

250
00:08:54,415 --> 00:08:56,448
ride a tandem bicycle with your mother.

251
00:08:56,517 --> 00:08:57,983
I was doing most of the pedaling.

252
00:08:58,052 --> 00:08:59,618
Are you sure he called you worthless?

253
00:08:59,687 --> 00:09:01,754
Maybe he called you wonderful?

254
00:09:01,822 --> 00:09:04,256
No. You have to get me out of this, Ma.

255
00:09:04,325 --> 00:09:06,892
Unless you want me to fly secret missions

256
00:09:06,961 --> 00:09:08,761
to dangerous foreign lands.

257
00:09:08,829 --> 00:09:10,529
You can't go on a secret mission.

258
00:09:10,598 --> 00:09:12,131
They won't let you call home,

259
00:09:12,199 --> 00:09:14,767
and they don't know what kind
of cheese binds you up.

260
00:09:14,835 --> 00:09:16,468
- So, you'll help? ‭ -
Don't worry, snuggy-boo.

261
00:09:16,537 --> 00:09:17,903
I'll get you out.

262
00:09:17,972 --> 00:09:20,105
Now, drop and give me 20.

263
00:09:20,174 --> 00:09:21,807
Huggies.

264
00:09:21,876 --> 00:09:24,743
And with that, Beverly
Goldberg went to war.

265
00:09:25,419 --> 00:09:26,952
I upset about our fight,

266
00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:29,863
Pops was ready to extend an olive branch.

267
00:09:29,888 --> 00:09:31,918
Hey, sweetheart. Y-you seen Adam?

268
00:09:31,943 --> 00:09:35,211
I-I got him one of those
atari-natendo games.

269
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,313
It's just like the red-car, blue-car game

270
00:09:37,382 --> 00:09:39,090
that we play at the arcade.

271
00:09:39,115 --> 00:09:42,049
Aww, that's so cute. But
he's hanging with Pop-pop.

272
00:09:42,118 --> 00:09:43,818
Pop-pop? I thought he was bluffing.

273
00:09:43,886 --> 00:09:45,152
You can always hang with me,

274
00:09:45,221 --> 00:09:46,954
you know, make the little nerd jealous.

275
00:09:47,023 --> 00:09:50,825
It'd be pretty damn petty of me
to use you as some pawn.

276
00:09:50,893 --> 00:09:52,693
Oh, I'm totally cool with it.

277
00:09:52,762 --> 00:09:54,628
We can, like, go to the mall.

278
00:09:54,697 --> 00:09:57,031
So, this is all a ploy
to get me to buy you stuff?

279
00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:59,633
See? We get each other.

280
00:09:59,702 --> 00:10:01,035
I'll drive.

281
00:10:02,071 --> 00:10:04,071
As Erica and Pops had formed an alliance,

282
00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:05,940
my mom was waging war.

283
00:10:06,008 --> 00:10:06,941
You, sir!

284
00:10:07,977 --> 00:10:09,176
We need to talk.

285
00:10:09,245 --> 00:10:10,578
Mrs. Goldberg, I told you.

286
00:10:10,646 --> 00:10:12,580
Yelling hours are between 9:00 and 12:00.

287
00:10:12,648 --> 00:10:13,881
This is my lunch break.

288
00:10:13,950 --> 00:10:15,449
Eat your tater tots, Earl.

289
00:10:15,518 --> 00:10:16,417
I'm here for him.

290
00:10:16,486 --> 00:10:18,319
What's happening right now?

291
00:10:18,387 --> 00:10:19,754
This is Beverly Goldberg.

292
00:10:19,822 --> 00:10:21,489
She's the delta force of mothers.

293
00:10:21,557 --> 00:10:22,890
And I'm here to tell you

294
00:10:22,959 --> 00:10:25,292
that Barry will not be
returning to your course.

295
00:10:25,361 --> 00:10:27,117
And I'm here to tell you
that your husband called and said

296
00:10:27,165 --> 00:10:29,466
under no circumstances should I let
your son weasel out of this.

297
00:10:29,534 --> 00:10:30,600
He called?

298
00:10:30,669 --> 00:10:32,235
Oh, this just got good.

299
00:10:32,304 --> 00:10:33,203
Okay, then.

300
00:10:33,271 --> 00:10:35,673
Well, I have demands.

301
00:10:35,706 --> 00:10:36,604
Instead of yelling,

302
00:10:36,613 --> 00:10:39,914
you will motivate my baby
with kindness and encouragement.

303
00:10:39,983 --> 00:10:43,051
And you will never, ever
call him worthless again.

304
00:10:43,119 --> 00:10:45,086
Well, considering you're asking me

305
00:10:45,155 --> 00:10:48,122
to undo years of proven
and effective military training,

306
00:10:48,191 --> 00:10:49,323
the answer is no.

307
00:10:49,392 --> 00:10:50,992
Or is it yes?

308
00:10:51,061 --> 00:10:52,593
According to the school handbook,

309
00:10:52,662 --> 00:10:54,529
any parent is permitted on school grounds

310
00:10:54,597 --> 00:10:56,397
to tend to the well-being of their child.

311
00:10:56,466 --> 00:10:57,139
Op.

312
00:10:57,171 --> 00:10:58,837
That gives me the legal right

313
00:10:58,906 --> 00:11:01,318
to be my son's wing mom.

314
00:11:01,343 --> 00:11:02,609
- Uh-oh.
- Wingmom?

315
00:11:02,678 --> 00:11:04,077
- Wing mom.
- That's not a thing.

316
00:11:04,146 --> 00:11:05,078
Oh, it is.

317
00:11:05,147 --> 00:11:07,114
I'll see you at 0900.

318
00:11:07,182 --> 00:11:09,249
- No, you won't.
- Yes, she will.

319
00:11:09,318 --> 00:11:11,652
That woman isn't setting
one foot in my class,

320
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:12,753
and you know why?

321
00:11:12,821 --> 00:11:14,855
'Cause it's absurd and unrealistic

322
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,990
and will never happen on my watch.

323
00:11:17,059 --> 00:11:20,360
Due to circumstances
both beyond my control and beyond reason,

324
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:24,364
I'd like to welcome a new
ridiculous addition to our class.

325
00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:26,133
- It's me.
- What?!

326
00:11:26,201 --> 00:11:28,468
You were supposed to get me
out of this, not join me!

327
00:11:28,537 --> 00:11:32,973
But now we can both feel
the need, the need for speed.

328
00:11:33,042 --> 00:11:34,174
Together.

329
00:11:34,243 --> 00:11:36,376
I feel that need alone, not with my mom!

330
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:38,345
I promise you won't even know
I'm here, little Schmoo.

331
00:11:38,414 --> 00:11:39,780
Little Schmoo.

332
00:11:39,848 --> 00:11:41,281
Now that should be your code name.

333
00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:43,583
No! It's sky shark. That better not stick.

334
00:11:43,652 --> 00:11:45,052
Infantilizing, bro!

335
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,954
Oh, no. The tastemakers have spoken.

336
00:11:47,022 --> 00:11:48,422
It's sticking!

337
00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,900
With my mom officially enlisted,

338
00:11:50,947 --> 00:11:52,546
I had officially signed up

339
00:11:52,615 --> 00:11:54,115
for a day of fun and laughter with Pop-pop.

340
00:11:55,318 --> 00:11:57,418
Hey, where's all the loose change?

341
00:11:57,487 --> 00:11:59,286
You promised me pocketfuls of quarters.

342
00:11:59,355 --> 00:12:00,588
Hmm.

343
00:12:00,657 --> 00:12:03,821
While we're here, might
as well play a few games.

344
00:12:03,846 --> 00:12:04,587
What do you think?

345
00:12:04,635 --> 00:12:06,335
The only game I played when I was a kid

346
00:12:06,404 --> 00:12:08,270
was stop the Irish from stealing our jobs.

347
00:12:08,339 --> 00:12:10,940
O-kay.

348
00:12:11,008 --> 00:12:12,575
There's got to be coins in the fountain.

349
00:12:12,643 --> 00:12:13,664
I'll hold your legs.

350
00:12:13,688 --> 00:12:16,088
My playdate with Pop-pop
couldn't get any worse...

351
00:12:16,156 --> 00:12:18,350
Holy balls!

352
00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:20,108
Until we ran into my ex.

353
00:12:20,177 --> 00:12:22,277
What's he doing here? How's my hair?

354
00:12:22,347 --> 00:12:23,513
Looks like a chia thing.

355
00:12:23,581 --> 00:12:24,846
Shut up and laugh ‭like
I said something funny.

356
00:12:24,871 --> 00:12:25,736
Since when are you funny?

357
00:12:28,287 --> 00:12:30,821
‭so fun.

358
00:12:31,923 --> 00:12:33,590
Oh. Hey, Pops.

359
00:12:33,658 --> 00:12:35,425
Adam.

360
00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:38,228
Didn't expect to see you here...

361
00:12:38,296 --> 00:12:39,629
With her.

362
00:12:39,698 --> 00:12:40,730
Yeah, I'd love to chat,

363
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,499
but Pops and I are hitting up benetton.

364
00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:45,389
Need some resort wear to be
ready to jet down to Florida

365
00:12:45,414 --> 00:12:46,271
with my main man.

366
00:12:46,357 --> 00:12:49,758
Well, I'm happy that you found
someone to spend time with.

367
00:12:49,827 --> 00:12:51,226
Oh, this one's the best.

368
00:12:51,295 --> 00:12:52,861
Hope you're having fun, too.

369
00:12:52,930 --> 00:12:54,663
So much fun.

370
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:57,900
Today, I watched Pop-pop
pick up his prescription

371
00:12:57,968 --> 00:12:59,568
and berate the pharmacist

372
00:12:59,638 --> 00:13:01,639
while I played with ‭
the blood-pressure machine.

373
00:13:01,664 --> 00:13:02,738
Classic us.

374
00:13:02,807 --> 00:13:05,307
Ah, I see what's going on here.

375
00:13:05,376 --> 00:13:07,276
You're only hanging out with me
to hurt his feelings.

376
00:13:07,344 --> 00:13:08,977
Well done.

377
00:13:09,047 --> 00:13:12,082
In your face, Al. I'm
his favorite grandpa now.

378
00:13:12,149 --> 00:13:13,549
Not a competition, Ben.

379
00:13:13,617 --> 00:13:14,616
Oh, yes. It sure is.

380
00:13:14,685 --> 00:13:16,051
I've been waiting for this for years.

381
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,454
You think you're so great
with your pockets full of paper money

382
00:13:18,522 --> 00:13:19,521
and your genuine kindness.

383
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:20,856
Well, no more.

384
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,124
I'm the Pops now.

385
00:13:22,193 --> 00:13:23,392
You're not the Pops.

386
00:13:23,461 --> 00:13:25,094
I'll always be the Pops.

387
00:13:25,162 --> 00:13:27,663
No, no. I'm taking it because I hate
being called Pop-pop.

388
00:13:27,731 --> 00:13:30,099
Then pick another name, like, uh, Poppy.

389
00:13:30,167 --> 00:13:31,400
Oh, hell, no.

390
00:13:31,470 --> 00:13:32,635
Pap-pap. ‭

391
00:13:32,704 --> 00:13:34,195
- Paw-paw.
- No, no, no.

392
00:13:34,274 --> 00:13:36,616
Face it. I finally beat you,
and this little weirdo is my prize.

393
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:38,807
Enough! I've had it with both of you.

394
00:13:38,876 --> 00:13:40,743
No one gets to be my Pops!

395
00:13:42,580 --> 00:13:44,947
And for the record, I still won.

396
00:13:45,016 --> 00:13:46,215
Come on, Goldberg.

397
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,816
The only way out of my class
is over that wall,

398
00:13:47,885 --> 00:13:49,084
you lazy sack of nothing.

399
00:13:49,153 --> 00:13:51,520
Don't you listen to him.
You're a sack of everything!

400
00:13:51,589 --> 00:13:53,989
You need to push that lazy, worthless body,

401
00:13:54,058 --> 00:13:55,791
or you'll be a loser forever.

402
00:13:55,860 --> 00:13:58,360
Your body is a sweet treasure,
and you're a winner!

403
00:13:58,429 --> 00:13:59,862
Say, "I'm a winner!"

404
00:13:59,931 --> 00:14:02,431
I can't.

405
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:04,266
- Too hard!
- You don't know hard.

406
00:14:04,335 --> 00:14:06,435
Now stand up and start from the beginning.

407
00:14:06,504 --> 00:14:07,603
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

408
00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:09,338
He's done. Come with me and rest up, baby.

409
00:14:09,407 --> 00:14:10,439
- Really?
- Really?

410
00:14:10,508 --> 00:14:11,041
Really?

411
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:12,846
Barry has low energy today
because he overslept

412
00:14:12,915 --> 00:14:15,829
and didn't get a complete breakfast,

413
00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:17,955
but I have raisins, so we're good.

414
00:14:17,980 --> 00:14:18,923
Oh, are we, now?

415
00:14:18,947 --> 00:14:19,946
We are.

416
00:14:20,015 --> 00:14:21,448
The school manual clearly states

417
00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:23,843
That nutritional health
is one of the most...

418
00:14:23,868 --> 00:14:24,642
‭Fine!

419
00:14:24,686 --> 00:14:27,587
Then everyone else will attack
the course except for Goldberg,

420
00:14:27,656 --> 00:14:30,290
who's gonna sit on the side
and eat his box of raisins.

421
00:14:30,359 --> 00:14:32,625
Sir, yes, sir! It's nature's candy, sir!

422
00:14:32,694 --> 00:14:34,427
Yes. I've had raisins.

423
00:14:34,497 --> 00:14:36,263
I can't believe ‭these
came from grapes, sir.

424
00:14:36,331 --> 00:14:38,298
I wonder who came
up with the idea for them, sir.

425
00:14:38,368 --> 00:14:39,734
- Are you done?
- ‭No, sir!

426
00:14:39,801 --> 00:14:42,135
Permission to share a few plump
raisins with my platoon, sir!

427
00:14:42,204 --> 00:14:43,203
Denied!

428
00:14:43,271 --> 00:14:45,505
Just go sit on the bleachers and shut up.

429
00:14:45,574 --> 00:14:48,274
The rest of you, move it!

430
00:14:48,344 --> 00:14:51,045
Feels pretty good having a wingmom, huh?

431
00:14:51,113 --> 00:14:52,045
Mmm.

432
00:14:52,114 --> 00:14:54,447
The sun makes them taste so sweet.

433
00:14:56,385 --> 00:14:59,119
Hey, there, soldier. How was your day?

434
00:14:59,187 --> 00:15:01,604
Tough as balls, but you were right, dad.

435
00:15:01,629 --> 00:15:03,058
It feels good to stick it out.

436
00:15:03,083 --> 00:15:03,894
It does.

437
00:15:03,957 --> 00:15:05,490
I bet you're starving.

438
00:15:05,559 --> 00:15:06,658
How about a snack?

439
00:15:08,061 --> 00:15:09,627
Raisin?

440
00:15:09,696 --> 00:15:10,528
Mom, he knows.

441
00:15:10,597 --> 00:15:11,663
- He knows?
- ‭He knows.

442
00:15:11,731 --> 00:15:12,964
- Wait. Do you know? ‭ - Wingmom?

443
00:15:13,033 --> 00:15:14,432
He knows. ‭how do you know?

444
00:15:14,501 --> 00:15:15,533
I have my sources!

445
00:15:15,602 --> 00:15:17,235
What? Captain Wallace tattled?

446
00:15:17,304 --> 00:15:20,305
Bevy, how could you go
behind my back and try and help him?

447
00:15:20,373 --> 00:15:22,974
How could you sign that permission
slip behind my back?

448
00:15:23,043 --> 00:15:24,943
Because it's important.

449
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:27,679
ROTC was the only way
I could go to college.

450
00:15:27,747 --> 00:15:31,349
It's literally the first thing
in my life I ever saw through.

451
00:15:31,418 --> 00:15:34,452
And thank god I did,
because the guy I was before

452
00:15:34,521 --> 00:15:37,555
wouldn't have had a shot
with you or any of this.

453
00:15:37,624 --> 00:15:39,290
Look, look, you guys both win.

454
00:15:39,359 --> 00:15:41,559
Thanks to mom, ‭I get to protect my country

455
00:15:41,628 --> 00:15:43,528
in a way ‭that suits my lifestyle...

456
00:15:43,597 --> 00:15:45,563
Being a hero without working hard.

457
00:15:46,933 --> 00:15:50,201
Well... Mission accomplished.

458
00:15:57,277 --> 00:15:59,310
Oh, so good.

459
00:16:00,896 --> 00:16:02,333
Officially grandfatherless,

460
00:16:02,341 --> 00:16:05,375
I decided to go to my favorite
place in the world to cheer up.

461
00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:09,716
Right there with you, pac.

462
00:16:09,786 --> 00:16:11,419
You can't rely on anyone.

463
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,800
I got next game.

464
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:18,692
Not talking to me, huh?

465
00:16:18,761 --> 00:16:20,627
All right. Let's play for it.

466
00:16:20,696 --> 00:16:23,263
If I beat you, ‭then you
got to listen to me.

467
00:16:23,332 --> 00:16:25,165
If not, I'm gone.

468
00:16:25,190 --> 00:16:26,089
Deal?

469
00:16:26,669 --> 00:16:28,535
You? Play me?

470
00:16:28,604 --> 00:16:30,550
At Ms. pac-Man?

471
00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:31,872
My best game?

472
00:16:31,941 --> 00:16:34,074
Let's just say your old grandpa

473
00:16:34,143 --> 00:16:36,977
May have some skills
that might surprise you.

474
00:16:44,954 --> 00:16:46,086
It was a game of legend.

475
00:16:46,155 --> 00:16:48,288
Our entire relationship was on the line.

476
00:16:48,357 --> 00:16:50,123
In that moment, Pops played that machine...

477
00:16:50,192 --> 00:16:51,858
Like he never played it before.

478
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,026
Ha!

479
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:53,961
I did it!

480
00:16:54,029 --> 00:16:55,028
I win!

481
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,496
Actually, you lost.

482
00:16:56,565 --> 00:16:58,131
Well, that's crazy.

483
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,702
My angry ghosts killed
that pac-woman over and over.

484
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:02,736
You're not the ghosts.

485
00:17:02,805 --> 00:17:03,804
I'm not the ghosts?

486
00:17:03,872 --> 00:17:04,805
You're the pac-woman.

487
00:17:04,873 --> 00:17:05,806
I'm the pac-woman?

488
00:17:05,874 --> 00:17:06,921
You're the pac-woman.

489
00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:11,878
Well I-I guess it's goodbye.

490
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,108
As I was losing my Wingman,

491
00:17:15,148 --> 00:17:17,515
Barry was ready for another day
with his wingmom.

492
00:17:17,584 --> 00:17:20,385
Mom, ROTC's in 20 minutes.

493
00:17:20,453 --> 00:17:22,253
Why aren't you dressed
in your camo sweater?

494
00:17:22,322 --> 00:17:24,122
Honey, I'm not going.

495
00:17:24,190 --> 00:17:26,202
But you are. Alone.

496
00:17:26,227 --> 00:17:26,969
What?

497
00:17:26,993 --> 00:17:29,280
You never leave your Wingman,
and you're my wingmom.

498
00:17:29,305 --> 00:17:31,138
Here. ‭I want to show you something.

499
00:17:32,575 --> 00:17:35,710
This is a picture of your dad
at his ROTC graduation.

500
00:17:35,778 --> 00:17:37,945
Who does he look like to you?

501
00:17:38,014 --> 00:17:39,680
Me.

502
00:17:39,749 --> 00:17:42,183
Look, your dad had nothing growing up,

503
00:17:42,251 --> 00:17:44,885
but he was able ‭to make so much of himself

504
00:17:44,954 --> 00:17:47,188
because he wasn't a quitter.

505
00:17:47,256 --> 00:17:51,258
I think I protect you so much,
I've turned you into one.

506
00:17:54,697 --> 00:17:56,950
That's why I'm ripping
up my list of dangerous jobs.

507
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:58,174
Whoa.

508
00:17:58,199 --> 00:18:00,568
Does this mean those jobs
are no longer off-limits?

509
00:18:00,637 --> 00:18:03,204
What you want to be in life is up to you,

510
00:18:03,272 --> 00:18:05,406
no matter how scary it is for me.

511
00:18:06,909 --> 00:18:07,942
Even a trapeze artist?

512
00:18:08,011 --> 00:18:09,310
Don't push it.

513
00:18:16,352 --> 00:18:17,652
Goldberg...

514
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,254
We don't normally say this
in the military, but...

515
00:18:20,323 --> 00:18:21,555
Where's your mother?

516
00:18:21,624 --> 00:18:23,624
I'm flying solo today, Captain.

517
00:18:25,907 --> 00:18:27,340
Turns out, even without a wingmom,

518
00:18:27,408 --> 00:18:29,809
Barry could still soar on his own.

519
00:18:29,878 --> 00:18:31,777
As for me, when Pops
walked out of that arcade,

520
00:18:31,846 --> 00:18:34,580
I realized I could never
fly as high without him.

521
00:18:34,649 --> 00:18:37,150
I've been informed that you're
a sucker for a sales pitch,

522
00:18:37,218 --> 00:18:39,152
so I figured you may want to sit for this.

523
00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:41,487
- Depends what you're selling.
- Us.

524
00:18:44,526 --> 00:18:47,460
By a show of hands,
how many of you fine folks

525
00:18:47,529 --> 00:18:49,462
have a grandson who you've helped raise?

526
00:18:52,967 --> 00:18:56,681
And how many of you are willing
to forgive said grandson

527
00:18:56,706 --> 00:18:58,539
for acting like a selfish putz?

528
00:19:00,863 --> 00:19:03,764
'Cause the truth is, no
matter where you live,

529
00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:07,001
you'll always be my hero,
always be my best friend,

530
00:19:07,070 --> 00:19:08,703
always be my Pops.

531
00:19:08,771 --> 00:19:11,706
Sold.

532
00:19:13,776 --> 00:19:16,110
And that's how I made peace with my Pops.

533
00:19:16,179 --> 00:19:18,412
Sometimes it takes almost losing someone

534
00:19:18,481 --> 00:19:21,315
to make you realize just
how much you need them.

535
00:19:21,384 --> 00:19:23,351
As for Pop-pop, he'd always be

536
00:19:23,419 --> 00:19:25,674
the kind of grandfather
who didn't need much,

537
00:19:25,699 --> 00:19:28,643
but deep down inside, I knew
that he still needed me.

538
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:31,234
And, to be honest, I needed him, too.

539
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,571
That's the thing about the people we love.

540
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,573
They're there at our lowest...

541
00:19:36,642 --> 00:19:39,042
Well done, boys. Only one thing to do now.

542
00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:40,210
Yeah, there is!

543
00:19:40,279 --> 00:19:42,145
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

544
00:19:42,214 --> 00:19:44,147
And they're there when we're flying high,

545
00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:47,784
helping us celebrate our biggest victories.

546
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:05,936
Truth is you can win any battle

547
00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:07,904
when your family's got your back,

548
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:10,240
'cause no matter what life throws at you,

549
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:13,343
it's easy for a maverick when
he's got goose at his side.

550
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,078
- Winner!
- ‭Dang it!

551
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:18,287
That's life in the fast lane, kiddo.

552
00:20:27,483 --> 00:20:29,483
Sir! I figured it out!

553
00:20:29,670 --> 00:20:31,269
I know why you were so mad at my nicknames.

554
00:20:31,338 --> 00:20:32,437
They weren't good enough.

555
00:20:32,506 --> 00:20:33,939
Lucky for you, I got some more.

556
00:20:34,008 --> 00:20:34,973
I was very clear.

557
00:20:35,042 --> 00:20:37,128
No call signs, no nicknames.

558
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,550
- But what about Sky Monkey?
- ‭No.

559
00:20:38,575 --> 00:20:39,573
- Air Dragon?
- ‭No.

560
00:20:39,598 --> 00:20:40,530
- Air Jordan?
- ‭No.

561
00:20:40,598 --> 00:20:41,397
- Thunder Hornet?
- ‭No.

562
00:20:41,466 --> 00:20:42,434
- Sky Dagger? ‭ - My god.

563
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:43,683
- Sky Monkey.
- You already said that.

564
00:20:43,752 --> 00:20:44,551
- Wolf Man.
- ‭No!

565
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:45,485
- Iron Beagle?
- ‭No.

566
00:20:45,554 --> 00:20:46,519
- Mach Nine?
- ‭No.

567
00:20:46,588 --> 00:20:47,528
- Mock Turtleneck?
- ‭No.

568
00:20:47,544 --> 00:20:48,262
- Handsome Barry?
- ‭No.

569
00:20:48,287 --> 00:20:49,411
- Tall Barry?
- ‭No.

570
00:20:49,479 --> 00:20:51,246
- Applesauce? ‭ - Yes! That's the one!

571
00:20:51,315 --> 00:20:54,816
Applesauce. You are Applesauce.

572
00:20:54,885 --> 00:20:55,950
- No!
- ‭Oh, yes.

573
00:20:56,019 --> 00:20:57,218
That's just filler.

574
00:20:57,287 --> 00:20:59,154
I was saying that so you
could warm up to Sky Shark.

575
00:20:59,222 --> 00:21:00,455
Pick Sky Shark!

576
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:06,470
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