1
00:00:00,182 --> 00:00:01,268
Back in the '80s,

2
00:00:01,293 --> 00:00:03,503
we all wanted to be a badass fighter pilot

3
00:00:03,528 --> 00:00:06,104
thanks to the cinematic
masterpiece that was "Top Gun",

4
00:00:06,129 --> 00:00:08,330
and no one loved it more than my big bro.

5
00:00:08,398 --> 00:00:11,066
You're handsome and clear for takeoff.

6
00:00:11,134 --> 00:00:13,235
Yeah, he was a real Maverick.

7
00:00:13,303 --> 00:00:15,604
His fighter jet was our beat-up
station wagon,

8
00:00:15,672 --> 00:00:18,564
and his co-pilot... My annoyed sister.

9
00:00:18,589 --> 00:00:20,889
Dear god, you have been flipping knobs
for five minutes!

10
00:00:20,958 --> 00:00:22,224
Just go already.

11
00:00:22,293 --> 00:00:26,452
We ain't going anywhere
till tower clears us for takeoff.

12
00:00:26,477 --> 00:00:28,244
You're clear.

13
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:31,376
But as fate would have it,

14
00:00:31,416 --> 00:00:34,751
my brother's high-flying dreams
were about to become a reality.

15
00:00:34,820 --> 00:00:37,880
Great goose's ghost.

16
00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:40,131
Today, our lives change forever, boys.

17
00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:41,248
Behold.

18
00:00:41,316 --> 00:00:44,417
Junior ROTC.

19
00:00:44,486 --> 00:00:46,523
That's like ‭pre-pre-military training.

20
00:00:46,548 --> 00:00:48,781
Dude, I think they give you
free camo when you sign up.

21
00:00:48,850 --> 00:00:50,483
Sweet. Now I can hide from my mean cousin

22
00:00:50,552 --> 00:00:51,739
When we visit my uncle's farm.

23
00:00:57,584 --> 00:00:58,903
Morning, gentlemen.

24
00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:01,367
Interested in joining up with junior ROTC?

25
00:01:01,392 --> 00:01:03,223
I need able-bodied leaders
with fire in their bellies

26
00:01:03,292 --> 00:01:04,356
looking to make a difference.

27
00:01:04,382 --> 00:01:06,013
That's so weird.

28
00:01:06,038 --> 00:01:08,863
I'm an able-bodied person
with a fiery belly

29
00:01:08,888 --> 00:01:11,254
who's ready to fly your jets
and push your envelopes

30
00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:12,683
and play ‭shirtless beach volleyball.

31
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What?

32
00:01:13,637 --> 00:01:14,869
It's proven to be a nice diversion

33
00:01:14,938 --> 00:01:16,237
from the pressures of flight school.

34
00:01:16,306 --> 00:01:17,972
What's your name, son?

35
00:01:18,041 --> 00:01:20,847
Barry Norman Goldberg,
nickname not yet decided.

36
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:24,161
You will be amazed by our strength
and determination, sir!

37
00:01:25,565 --> 00:01:27,365
I've got English on the third floor.

38
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So many stairs.

39
00:01:28,635 --> 00:01:30,811
Naked Rob, Piggyback.

40
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You got it, bro.

41
00:01:31,768 --> 00:01:33,568
Never leave a man behind.

42
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♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪

43
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♪ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪

44
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Synced and corrected by Nest0r 
www.addic7ed.com

45
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♪ I don't know the future ♪

46
00:01:46,483 --> 00:01:51,219
♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪

47
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It was November 22, 1980-something,

48
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and I was spending the day
with my loyal best bud, Pops.

49
00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,228
Your mom was nuts to take away my license.

50
00:02:00,296 --> 00:02:01,329
Look at me go!

51
00:02:01,749 --> 00:02:05,044
Despite his age, my grandpa
was the youngest dude I knew.

52
00:02:05,069 --> 00:02:07,069
- Winner!
- ‭Balls!

53
00:02:07,137 --> 00:02:09,740
You want to go hustle
some suckers at air hockey?

54
00:02:09,765 --> 00:02:12,725
I'm old ‭with a wallet full of cash.

55
00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:15,482
How do I play this ice ping-pong?

56
00:02:15,507 --> 00:02:18,080
After we hustled some kids in air hockey,

57
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Pops set his sights on our next target.

58
00:02:20,818 --> 00:02:23,385
Whoa, whoa. Look at this.

59
00:02:23,454 --> 00:02:24,653
Free movie tickets.

60
00:02:24,721 --> 00:02:27,250
What do you say we play
a couple more chumps?

61
00:02:27,274 --> 00:02:29,441
Mom says to be weary of Timeshare people.

62
00:02:29,510 --> 00:02:31,276
They're the gypsies of the mall.

63
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All we got to do is listen
to them jabber for a half-hour

64
00:02:34,648 --> 00:02:37,549
and then see "Mad Max:
Thunderdome" on their dime.

65
00:02:37,618 --> 00:02:39,151
Sign me up.

66
00:02:41,783 --> 00:02:42,774
Howdy, folks.

67
00:02:42,798 --> 00:02:44,265
And welcome.

68
00:02:44,333 --> 00:02:46,071
I'm John Calabasas,

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the president and C.E.O.
of John Calabasas' Timeshares.

70
00:02:52,186 --> 00:02:53,919
Thank you very much. That's very kind.

71
00:02:53,988 --> 00:02:55,621
Oh, stop. Thank you so much.

72
00:02:55,689 --> 00:03:01,026
Folks, who would like to live
in the condo of their dreams?

73
00:03:01,095 --> 00:03:02,561
For two months out of the year.

74
00:03:02,630 --> 00:03:04,496
I'm talking about Timeshares, y'all.

75
00:03:04,565 --> 00:03:06,265
Question. Yes, sir.

76
00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:08,921
If we decide not to buy today,

77
00:03:08,946 --> 00:03:10,952
do we still get the movie tickets?

78
00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:13,451
That's the deal, but I can
promise you this, sir...

79
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At the end of today,

80
00:03:14,543 --> 00:03:16,276
you're not gonna be thinking
about movie tickets.

81
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You're gonna be thinking about

82
00:03:17,646 --> 00:03:20,847
Boca sands resort and tennis club.

83
00:03:20,916 --> 00:03:24,551
I'm intrigued about this
exciting opportunity.

84
00:03:24,619 --> 00:03:27,983
Movie tickets all locked up.

85
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So began an epic speech

86
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designed to pull in old suckers.

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Lucky for me, Pops was young at heart.

88
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Complete with sauna and recently
disinfected steam room.

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00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,595
The best overly air-conditioned
chain restaurants

90
00:03:40,663 --> 00:03:42,964
that open for dinner at 3:00 P.M.

91
00:03:43,033 --> 00:03:46,901
Not only is it sunny
year-round in our community,

92
00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:50,638
the women outnumber
the gentlemen three to one.

93
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Sold!

94
00:03:53,610 --> 00:03:55,610
Oh, my god.

95
00:03:55,678 --> 00:03:57,779
Pops actually bought a place in Florida?!

96
00:03:57,847 --> 00:03:59,347
Right? It's a nightmare.

97
00:03:59,416 --> 00:04:00,415
Hello?!

98
00:04:00,483 --> 00:04:02,216
We're gonna have our own beach condo.

99
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:05,053
Think of all the spring
breaks, the Latin guys,

100
00:04:05,121 --> 00:04:08,189
the romantic walks on the beach
with the Latin guys.

101
00:04:08,258 --> 00:04:09,490
Why do I come to you?

102
00:04:09,559 --> 00:04:11,125
You need to chill. It's a Timeshare.

103
00:04:11,194 --> 00:04:12,948
He'll be gone two months a year.

104
00:04:12,973 --> 00:04:15,674
Everyone knows a Timeshare
is a gateway property.

105
00:04:15,743 --> 00:04:17,495
Two months becomes six.

106
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:18,942
Six become a year.

107
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,766
And a year turns into forever.

108
00:04:20,835 --> 00:04:21,828
So?

109
00:04:21,853 --> 00:04:24,303
Pops is old,
and that's what all old people do.

110
00:04:24,372 --> 00:04:26,238
Stop saying that. Pops isn't old.

111
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,473
He's 80.

112
00:04:27,542 --> 00:04:29,709
Who cares? I measure age in spirit.

113
00:04:29,777 --> 00:04:32,211
Well, I measure age by when you were born.

114
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,980
And for Pops, that's 1903.

115
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,974
- Holy crap. Seriously?
- ‭Oh, yeah.

116
00:04:37,251 --> 00:04:39,906
Shut up! Everyone shut up!

117
00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:40,886
I got Barry news.

118
00:04:40,955 --> 00:04:42,088
Everybody stop talking.

119
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:43,656
What is it, snuggle monster?

120
00:04:43,725 --> 00:04:44,924
I joined the military.

121
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,262
Boom! What's that now?

122
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,753
Good stuff. What branch?

123
00:04:48,821 --> 00:04:50,387
The one with the planes and boats.

124
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,689
You're welcome, America.

125
00:04:51,757 --> 00:04:53,724
I just need you to sign
this permission slip.

126
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:54,992
Absolutely not.

127
00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:56,527
Being a soldier is number one

128
00:04:56,595 --> 00:04:58,929
on my list of jobs ‭too
dangerous for my children.

129
00:04:58,998 --> 00:04:59,997
List? What list?

130
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:01,565
Oh, god. Not the list.

131
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:04,407
I knew one day my kids
would join the workforce,

132
00:05:04,432 --> 00:05:07,232
so like a good mother,
I compiled a list of occupations

133
00:05:07,301 --> 00:05:08,901
that are strictly off-limits.

134
00:05:08,970 --> 00:05:11,003
Why can't I be a construction worker?

135
00:05:11,072 --> 00:05:14,606
Eating lunch on a suspended beam
with your legs dangling down?

136
00:05:14,675 --> 00:05:15,541
No way.

137
00:05:15,609 --> 00:05:16,575
No pro sports?

138
00:05:16,644 --> 00:05:18,750
Except golf, but you can't drive around

139
00:05:18,775 --> 00:05:20,475
in one of those buggies with no seat belt.

140
00:05:20,544 --> 00:05:22,877
- Astronaut? ‭ - Your
sensitive tummy at zero g?

141
00:05:22,946 --> 00:05:24,145
- Deli guy?‭ - Meat slicer?

142
00:05:24,214 --> 00:05:25,413
- Government clerk?
- ‭Paper cut?

143
00:05:25,482 --> 00:05:28,102
- Robot technician?
- ‭Robot uprising?

144
00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:29,993
This is nuts. Pops was in the army.

145
00:05:30,062 --> 00:05:32,796
And he is a hero. ‭
Couldn'tbe prouder of him.

146
00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:34,231
But I want to be a hero.

147
00:05:34,299 --> 00:05:35,499
And you can be...

148
00:05:35,567 --> 00:05:38,023
As an orthodontist or a Maître d

149
00:05:38,048 --> 00:05:42,317
or as one of those guys
who tests pillows for softness.

150
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:44,286
Yep. All hope was lost.

151
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:45,410
I'll sign it.

152
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:46,678
And then found.

153
00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:47,365
Really?

154
00:05:47,405 --> 00:05:50,617
I did ROTC. It changed my life.

155
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:53,891
And I fully support this as long
as your mother never finds out.

156
00:05:53,916 --> 00:05:57,360
And one more thing... If you
do this, there's no quitting.

157
00:05:57,385 --> 00:05:58,033
I mean it.

158
00:05:58,041 --> 00:05:59,273
10-4, good buddy.

159
00:05:59,342 --> 00:06:00,241
That's trucker talk.

160
00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:01,876
Aye-aye, Matey.

161
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:02,877
That's pirate.

162
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,063
Hmm.

163
00:06:05,087 --> 00:06:06,587
While Barry was committed to the army,

164
00:06:06,655 --> 00:06:10,401
I was committed to showing
Pops just how young he was.

165
00:06:10,426 --> 00:06:12,493
There he is, rockin' the new duds.

166
00:06:12,562 --> 00:06:13,694
You dig 'em, homey?

167
00:06:13,763 --> 00:06:15,363
They're roomy where I need them,

168
00:06:15,431 --> 00:06:17,064
but kind of drafty where I don't.

169
00:06:17,125 --> 00:06:18,065
Perfect!

170
00:06:18,090 --> 00:06:20,815
Let's go hit the town and live
it up while we're still young.

171
00:06:21,528 --> 00:06:22,280
What the...

172
00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,181
How did your zubaz get so high?

173
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,344
They ride up. I don't know.

174
00:06:26,369 --> 00:06:27,813
They have a mind of their own.

175
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:29,554
Now all you can see is "Frankie says".

176
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:30,855
No one will know to relax.

177
00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:33,808
Who is this Frankie, and why
does he want me to relax?

178
00:06:33,817 --> 00:06:35,083
All you need to know

179
00:06:35,152 --> 00:06:37,219
is you look half your age
in those zubaz pants.

180
00:06:37,287 --> 00:06:39,390
Way too young for Florida.

181
00:06:39,415 --> 00:06:41,615
Oh, so that's what this is about.

182
00:06:41,684 --> 00:06:43,584
Kiddo, it's just two months.

183
00:06:43,652 --> 00:06:46,520
Two months in middle-school
years is like a decade.

184
00:06:46,589 --> 00:06:47,654
Come on, pal.

185
00:06:47,723 --> 00:06:50,181
Pops says relax.

186
00:06:50,206 --> 00:06:52,547
Don't you use that catchphrase against me!

187
00:06:52,572 --> 00:06:53,872
I will not relax!

188
00:06:53,949 --> 00:06:55,682
Where you going?

189
00:06:55,751 --> 00:06:58,519
To my other grandpa,
the one who'd never leave me.

190
00:06:58,587 --> 00:06:59,353
Pop-pop?

191
00:06:59,423 --> 00:07:02,808
You really want to replace me
with that spiteful old bastard?

192
00:07:02,833 --> 00:07:05,511
Already done. Have fun in Florida.

193
00:07:05,536 --> 00:07:07,590
I'll be living it up here with Pop-pop

194
00:07:07,599 --> 00:07:09,632
having crazy amounts of fun.

195
00:07:09,701 --> 00:07:11,914
This is fun.

196
00:07:11,939 --> 00:07:13,539
So much fun.

197
00:07:13,608 --> 00:07:15,875
Shh. I'm reading the stocks.

198
00:07:15,943 --> 00:07:17,710
Yep. This was my grandfather Ben.

199
00:07:17,778 --> 00:07:20,862
He was the anti-Pops who could
never catch a break.

200
00:07:20,887 --> 00:07:23,555
Damn IBM! I should have invested.

201
00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:25,513
I'd be a millionaire.

202
00:07:25,582 --> 00:07:27,381
Instead, I lost it all on cigaroos.

203
00:07:27,450 --> 00:07:28,187
What's that?

204
00:07:28,221 --> 00:07:29,954
Cigarettes for kids. Yeah.

205
00:07:30,023 --> 00:07:31,929
They had a spokesbunny.

206
00:07:31,954 --> 00:07:34,688
Isn't that adorable? It was a slam dunk!

207
00:07:35,882 --> 00:07:39,378
As I was bonding with Pop-pop,
Barry was ready for action.

208
00:07:39,403 --> 00:07:41,219
Barry Norman Goldberg
reporting for duty, sir!

209
00:07:41,288 --> 00:07:44,257
Son, I told you three times.
I know you're here.

210
00:07:44,282 --> 00:07:46,282
Question... When do we get
our nicknames assigned,

211
00:07:46,307 --> 00:07:48,419
'cause I'm thinking I'm gonna be Sky Shark.

212
00:07:48,444 --> 00:07:49,482
I call Sky Tiger.

213
00:07:49,530 --> 00:07:51,106
Dude, I told you Sky Tiger was my nickname.

214
00:07:51,131 --> 00:07:53,506
No one's Sky Tiger. I'm Sky Shark.

215
00:07:53,531 --> 00:07:54,617
There can't be two Skies.

216
00:07:54,644 --> 00:07:55,877
I was kind of thinking Thunder Shark.

217
00:07:55,944 --> 00:07:57,611
Oh, that's good! No, bro! I'm the Shark!

218
00:07:59,615 --> 00:08:00,643
Enough!

219
00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:03,958
Instead of nicknames, how about this...
Give me 20 push-ups.

220
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,845
If my body's already in peak
physical condition,

221
00:08:06,870 --> 00:08:08,503
can I pass and practice instead?

222
00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:10,672
Practice what? ‭Volleyball.

223
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,073
You know, ‭for when we go to the beach

224
00:08:12,142 --> 00:08:13,475
and flex our young, glistening bodies.

225
00:08:13,543 --> 00:08:14,709
I'm kind of body-conscious,

226
00:08:14,778 --> 00:08:16,277
so I'm not gonna pop
off my shirt at the beach,

227
00:08:16,346 --> 00:08:17,782
if that's cool. He's got an outie.

228
00:08:17,802 --> 00:08:19,402
Shh! There's no volleyball.

229
00:08:19,472 --> 00:08:22,573
Son, if you're not here to work,
you're worthless to me.

230
00:08:22,642 --> 00:08:24,614
But I was led to believe I'm special.

231
00:08:24,639 --> 00:08:26,872
You want special treatment?
Drop and give me 40!

232
00:08:30,044 --> 00:08:32,177
Hey! ‭How was training, big guy?

233
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:36,181
Captain Wallace says I'm, like,
better than Rambo, the real one.

234
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:37,416
They're friends.

235
00:08:37,485 --> 00:08:39,618
Well, I'm just proud
that you're sticking with it.

236
00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,287
Oh, yeah. Stick-to-it Barry.

237
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:43,589
That's what they call me.

238
00:08:44,759 --> 00:08:46,325
Mom!

239
00:08:46,394 --> 00:08:48,360
Dad secretly signed a permission slip

240
00:08:48,429 --> 00:08:49,995
to get me in basic training.

241
00:08:50,064 --> 00:08:51,997
Now I need to have you
secretly get me out of it.

242
00:08:52,066 --> 00:08:53,132
- What?! ‭ - Shh!

243
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,433
Dad won't let me quit,

244
00:08:54,502 --> 00:08:56,936
but Captain Wallace is super
demanding and angry.

245
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,170
He called me worthless.

246
00:08:58,239 --> 00:08:59,838
Are you [Bleep] kidding me?

247
00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:01,006
I know. Right?

248
00:09:01,075 --> 00:09:02,141
Worthless?

249
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,642
Well, obviously, he's never seen you

250
00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:05,744
ride a tandem bicycle with your mother.

251
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:07,279
I was doing most of the pedaling.

252
00:09:07,348 --> 00:09:08,914
Are you sure he called you worthless?

253
00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:11,050
Maybe he called you wonderful?

254
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:13,552
No. You have to get me out of this, Ma.

255
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:16,188
Unless you want me to fly secret missions

256
00:09:16,257 --> 00:09:18,057
to dangerous foreign lands.

257
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,825
You can't go on a secret mission.

258
00:09:19,894 --> 00:09:21,427
They won't let you call home,

259
00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:24,063
and they don't know what kind
of cheese binds you up.

260
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:25,764
- So, you'll help? ‭ -
Don't worry, snuggy-boo.

261
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,199
I'll get you out.

262
00:09:27,268 --> 00:09:29,401
Now, drop and give me 20.

263
00:09:29,470 --> 00:09:31,103
Huggies.

264
00:09:31,172 --> 00:09:34,039
And with that, Beverly
Goldberg went to war.

265
00:09:34,715 --> 00:09:36,994
I upset about our fight,

266
00:09:37,019 --> 00:09:39,862
Pops was ready to extend an olive branch.

267
00:09:39,887 --> 00:09:41,917
Hey, sweetheart. Y-you seen Adam?

268
00:09:41,942 --> 00:09:45,210
I-I got him one of those
atari-natendo games.

269
00:09:45,279 --> 00:09:47,312
It's just like the red-car, blue-car game

270
00:09:47,381 --> 00:09:49,089
that we play at the arcade.

271
00:09:49,114 --> 00:09:52,048
Aww, that's so cute. But
he's hanging with Pop-pop.

272
00:09:52,117 --> 00:09:53,817
Pop-pop? I thought he was bluffing.

273
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,151
You can always hang with me,

274
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,192
you know, Make the little nerd jealous.

275
00:09:57,217 --> 00:10:01,019
It'd be pretty damn petty of me
to use you as some pawn.

276
00:10:01,087 --> 00:10:02,887
Oh, I'm totally cool with it.

277
00:10:02,956 --> 00:10:04,822
We can, like, go to the Mall.

278
00:10:04,891 --> 00:10:07,515
So, this is all a ploy
to get me to buy you stuff?

279
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:10,073
See? We get each other.

280
00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:11,475
I'll drive.

281
00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:14,847
As Erica and Pops had formed an alliance,

282
00:10:14,872 --> 00:10:16,672
my mom was waging war.

283
00:10:16,740 --> 00:10:18,383
You, sir!

284
00:10:18,709 --> 00:10:19,908
We need to talk.

285
00:10:19,977 --> 00:10:21,742
Mrs. Goldberg, I told you.

286
00:10:21,767 --> 00:10:23,832
Yelling hours are between 9:00 and 12:00.

287
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,090
This is my lunch break.

288
00:10:25,159 --> 00:10:26,658
Eat your tater tots, Earl.

289
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:27,626
I'm here for him.

290
00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:29,528
What's happening right now?

291
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:30,963
This is Beverly Goldberg.

292
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,698
She's the delta force of mothers.

293
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:34,099
And I'm here to tell you

294
00:10:34,168 --> 00:10:36,501
that Barry will not be
returning to your course.

295
00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:38,326
And I'm here to tell you
that your husband called and said

296
00:10:38,374 --> 00:10:41,645
under no circumstances should I let
your son weasel out of this.

297
00:10:41,670 --> 00:10:42,736
He called?

298
00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:44,371
Oh, this just got good.

299
00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:45,339
Okay, then.

300
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,168
Well, I have demands.

301
00:10:47,208 --> 00:10:48,106
Instead of yelling,

302
00:10:48,116 --> 00:10:51,417
you will motivate my baby
with kindness and encouragement.

303
00:10:51,486 --> 00:10:54,949
And you will never, ever
call him worthless again.

304
00:10:54,974 --> 00:10:56,941
Well, considering you're asking me

305
00:10:57,010 --> 00:10:59,977
to undo years of proven
and effective military training,

306
00:11:00,046 --> 00:11:01,537
the answer is no.

307
00:11:01,562 --> 00:11:03,162
Or is it yes?

308
00:11:03,231 --> 00:11:04,763
According to the school handbook,

309
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:06,699
any parent is permitted on school grounds

310
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,567
to tend to the well-being of their child.

311
00:11:08,636 --> 00:11:09,309
Op.

312
00:11:09,341 --> 00:11:11,445
That gives me the legal right

313
00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:13,630
to be my son's wing mom.

314
00:11:13,677 --> 00:11:14,943
- Uh-oh.
- Wingmom?

315
00:11:15,012 --> 00:11:16,411
- Wing mom.
- That's not a thing.

316
00:11:16,481 --> 00:11:17,413
Oh, it is.

317
00:11:17,482 --> 00:11:19,449
I'll see you at 0900.

318
00:11:19,517 --> 00:11:21,584
- No, you won't.
- Yes, she will.

319
00:11:21,653 --> 00:11:23,987
That woman isn't setting
one foot in my class,

320
00:11:24,055 --> 00:11:25,088
and you know why?

321
00:11:25,156 --> 00:11:27,190
'Cause it's absurd and unrealistic

322
00:11:27,259 --> 00:11:29,325
and will never happen on my watch.

323
00:11:29,394 --> 00:11:32,695
Due to circumstances
both beyond my control and beyond reason,

324
00:11:32,764 --> 00:11:36,699
I'd like to welcome a new
ridiculous addition to our class.

325
00:11:36,768 --> 00:11:38,468
- It's me.
- What?!

326
00:11:38,536 --> 00:11:41,231
You were supposed to get me
out of this, not join me!

327
00:11:41,256 --> 00:11:45,692
But now we can both feel
the need, the need for speed.

328
00:11:45,761 --> 00:11:46,893
Together.

329
00:11:46,962 --> 00:11:49,356
I feel that need alone, not with my mom!

330
00:11:49,381 --> 00:11:51,281
I promise you won't even know
I'm here, little Schmoo.

331
00:11:51,350 --> 00:11:52,716
Little Schmoo.

332
00:11:52,784 --> 00:11:54,454
Now that should be your code name.

333
00:11:54,479 --> 00:11:56,712
No! It's sky shark. That better not stick.

334
00:11:56,781 --> 00:11:58,491
Infantilizing, bro!

335
00:11:58,516 --> 00:12:00,350
Oh, no. The tastemakers have spoken.

336
00:12:00,418 --> 00:12:01,818
It's sticking!

337
00:12:01,886 --> 00:12:04,296
With my mom officially enlisted,

338
00:12:04,343 --> 00:12:05,942
I had officially signed up

339
00:12:06,011 --> 00:12:07,511
for a day of fun and laughter with Pop-pop.

340
00:12:08,714 --> 00:12:10,814
Hey, where's all the loose change?

341
00:12:10,883 --> 00:12:13,028
You promised me pocketfuls of quarters.

342
00:12:13,053 --> 00:12:14,286
Hmm.

343
00:12:14,355 --> 00:12:17,519
While we're here, might
as well play a few games.

344
00:12:17,544 --> 00:12:18,285
What do you think?

345
00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:20,033
The only game I played when I was a kid

346
00:12:20,102 --> 00:12:21,968
was stop the Irish from stealing our jobs.

347
00:12:22,037 --> 00:12:24,638
O-kay.

348
00:12:24,706 --> 00:12:26,273
There's got to be coins in the fountain.

349
00:12:26,341 --> 00:12:27,362
I'll hold your legs.

350
00:12:27,386 --> 00:12:29,786
My playdate with Pop-pop
couldn't get any worse...

351
00:12:29,854 --> 00:12:32,048
Holy balls!

352
00:12:32,073 --> 00:12:33,806
Until we ran into my ex.

353
00:12:33,875 --> 00:12:35,975
What's he doing here? How's my hair?

354
00:12:36,045 --> 00:12:37,211
Looks like a chia thing.

355
00:12:37,279 --> 00:12:38,544
Shut up and laugh ‭like
I said something funny.

356
00:12:38,569 --> 00:12:39,731
Since when are you funny?

357
00:12:42,259 --> 00:12:44,793
‭So fun.

358
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:47,562
Oh. Hey, Pops.

359
00:12:47,630 --> 00:12:49,397
Adam.

360
00:12:49,465 --> 00:12:52,200
Didn't expect to see you here...

361
00:12:52,268 --> 00:12:54,009
With her.

362
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:55,573
Yeah, I'd love to chat,

363
00:12:55,598 --> 00:12:57,297
but Pops and I are hitting up Benetton.

364
00:12:57,365 --> 00:13:00,187
Need some resort wear to be
ready to jet down to Florida

365
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:01,069
with my main man.

366
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:04,157
Well, I'm happy that you found
someone to spend time with.

367
00:13:04,164 --> 00:13:05,563
Oh, this one's the best.

368
00:13:05,632 --> 00:13:07,435
Hope you're having fun, too.

369
00:13:07,460 --> 00:13:09,193
So much fun.

370
00:13:09,262 --> 00:13:12,859
Today, I watched Pop-pop
pick up his prescription

371
00:13:12,884 --> 00:13:14,484
and berate the pharmacist

372
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,562
while I played with ‭
the blood-pressure machine.

373
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:17,661
Classic us.

374
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,230
Ah, I see what's going on here.

375
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,199
You're only hanging out with me
to hurt his feelings.

376
00:13:22,267 --> 00:13:23,900
Well done.

377
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:27,005
In your face, Al. I'm
his favorite grandpa now.

378
00:13:27,072 --> 00:13:28,709
Not a competition, Ben.

379
00:13:28,734 --> 00:13:29,836
Oh, yes. It sure is.

380
00:13:29,861 --> 00:13:31,168
I've been waiting for this for years.

381
00:13:31,237 --> 00:13:33,571
You think you're so great
with your pockets full of paper money

382
00:13:33,639 --> 00:13:34,638
and your genuine kindness.

383
00:13:34,707 --> 00:13:36,127
Well, no more.

384
00:13:36,152 --> 00:13:37,351
I'm the Pops now.

385
00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:38,619
You're not the Pops.

386
00:13:38,688 --> 00:13:40,321
I'll always be the Pops.

387
00:13:40,389 --> 00:13:43,178
No, no. I'm taking it because I hate
being called Pop-pop.

388
00:13:43,203 --> 00:13:46,040
Then pick another name, like, uh, Poppy.

389
00:13:46,065 --> 00:13:46,908
Oh, hell, no.

390
00:13:46,942 --> 00:13:48,107
Pap-pap. ‭

391
00:13:48,176 --> 00:13:49,667
- Paw-paw.
- No, no, no.

392
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:52,088
Face it. I finally beat you,
and this little weirdo is my prize.

393
00:13:52,113 --> 00:13:54,279
Enough! I've had it with both of you.

394
00:13:54,348 --> 00:13:56,604
No one gets to be my Pops!

395
00:13:58,398 --> 00:14:00,765
And for the record, I still won.

396
00:14:00,834 --> 00:14:02,283
Come on, Goldberg.

397
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:03,840
The only way out of my class
is over that wall,

398
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:05,257
you lazy sack of nothing.

399
00:14:05,282 --> 00:14:07,649
Don't you listen to him.
You're a sack of everything!

400
00:14:07,718 --> 00:14:10,118
You need to push that lazy, worthless body,

401
00:14:10,187 --> 00:14:11,920
or you'll be a loser forever.

402
00:14:11,989 --> 00:14:14,667
Your body is a sweet treasure,
and you're a winner!

403
00:14:14,692 --> 00:14:16,125
Say, "I'm a winner!"

404
00:14:16,194 --> 00:14:18,694
I can't.

405
00:14:18,763 --> 00:14:20,529
- Too hard!
- You don't know hard.

406
00:14:20,598 --> 00:14:22,983
Now stand up and start from the beginning.

407
00:14:23,008 --> 00:14:24,107
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

408
00:14:24,176 --> 00:14:25,842
He's done. Come with me and rest up, baby.

409
00:14:25,911 --> 00:14:26,943
- Really?
- Really?

410
00:14:27,012 --> 00:14:27,545
Really?

411
00:14:27,584 --> 00:14:29,350
Barry has low energy today
because he overslept

412
00:14:29,419 --> 00:14:32,333
and didn't get a complete breakfast,

413
00:14:32,358 --> 00:14:34,459
but I have raisins, so we're good.

414
00:14:34,484 --> 00:14:35,427
Oh, are we, now?

415
00:14:35,451 --> 00:14:36,450
We are.

416
00:14:36,519 --> 00:14:38,415
The school manual clearly states

417
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,766
That nutritional health
is one of the most...

418
00:14:40,791 --> 00:14:41,565
‭Fine!

419
00:14:41,609 --> 00:14:44,510
Then everyone else will attack
the course except for Goldberg,

420
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:47,213
who's gonna sit on the side
and eat his box of raisins.

421
00:14:47,282 --> 00:14:49,548
Sir, yes, sir! It's nature's candy, sir!

422
00:14:49,617 --> 00:14:51,350
Yes. I've had raisins.

423
00:14:51,420 --> 00:14:53,186
I can't believe ‭these
came from grapes, sir.

424
00:14:53,254 --> 00:14:55,221
I wonder who came
up with the idea for them, sir.

425
00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:56,657
- Are you done?
- ‭No, sir!

426
00:14:56,724 --> 00:14:59,058
Permission to share a few plump
raisins with my platoon, sir!

427
00:14:59,127 --> 00:15:00,126
Denied!

428
00:15:00,194 --> 00:15:02,428
Just go sit on the bleachers and shut up.

429
00:15:02,497 --> 00:15:05,197
The rest of you, move it!

430
00:15:05,267 --> 00:15:07,968
Feels pretty good having a wingmom, huh?

431
00:15:08,036 --> 00:15:08,968
Mmm.

432
00:15:09,037 --> 00:15:11,370
The sun makes them taste so sweet.

433
00:15:13,308 --> 00:15:16,042
Hey, there, soldier. How was your day?

434
00:15:16,110 --> 00:15:18,871
Tough as balls, but you were right, dad.

435
00:15:18,896 --> 00:15:20,325
It feels good to stick it out.

436
00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:21,161
It does.

437
00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:22,757
I bet you're starving.

438
00:15:22,826 --> 00:15:24,157
How about a snack?

439
00:15:25,328 --> 00:15:26,894
Raisin?

440
00:15:26,963 --> 00:15:27,795
Mom, he knows.

441
00:15:27,864 --> 00:15:28,930
- He knows?
- ‭He knows.

442
00:15:28,998 --> 00:15:30,231
- Wait. Do you know? ‭ - Wingmom?

443
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:31,699
He knows. ‭how do you know?

444
00:15:31,768 --> 00:15:33,145
I have my sources!

445
00:15:33,170 --> 00:15:34,803
What? Captain Wallace tattled?

446
00:15:34,872 --> 00:15:37,873
Bevy, how could you go
behind my back and try and help him?

447
00:15:37,941 --> 00:15:40,542
How could you sign that permission
slip behind my back?

448
00:15:40,611 --> 00:15:42,511
Because it's important.

449
00:15:42,579 --> 00:15:45,247
ROTC was the only way
I could go to college.

450
00:15:45,315 --> 00:15:48,917
It's literally the first thing
in my life I ever saw through.

451
00:15:48,986 --> 00:15:52,020
And thank god I did,
because the guy I was before

452
00:15:52,089 --> 00:15:55,123
wouldn't have had a shot
with you or any of this.

453
00:15:55,192 --> 00:15:57,193
Look, look, you guys both win.

454
00:15:57,218 --> 00:15:59,418
Thanks to mom, ‭I get to protect my country

455
00:15:59,487 --> 00:16:01,387
in a way ‭that suits my lifestyle...

456
00:16:01,456 --> 00:16:03,422
Being a hero without working hard.

457
00:16:04,792 --> 00:16:08,060
Well... Mission accomplished.

458
00:16:15,136 --> 00:16:17,169
Oh, so good.

459
00:16:18,755 --> 00:16:20,192
Officially grandfatherless,

460
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,725
I decided to go to my favorite
place in the world to cheer up.

461
00:16:25,942 --> 00:16:28,163
Right there with you, pac.

462
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,821
You can't rely on anyone.

463
00:16:32,202 --> 00:16:34,202
I got next game.

464
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,278
Not talking to me, huh?

465
00:16:37,303 --> 00:16:39,666
All right. Let's play for it.

466
00:16:39,691 --> 00:16:42,563
If I beat you, ‭then you
got to listen to me.

467
00:16:42,588 --> 00:16:44,421
If not, I'm gone.

468
00:16:44,446 --> 00:16:45,345
Deal?

469
00:16:45,925 --> 00:16:47,791
You? Play me?

470
00:16:47,860 --> 00:16:49,806
At Ms. pac-Man?

471
00:16:49,831 --> 00:16:51,128
My best game?

472
00:16:51,197 --> 00:16:53,330
Let's just say your old grandpa

473
00:16:53,399 --> 00:16:56,233
May have some skills
that might surprise you.

474
00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:05,342
It was a game of legend.

475
00:17:05,411 --> 00:17:07,544
Our entire relationship was on the line.

476
00:17:07,613 --> 00:17:09,379
In that moment, Pops played that machine...

477
00:17:09,448 --> 00:17:11,541
like he never played it before.

478
00:17:11,566 --> 00:17:12,665
Ha!

479
00:17:12,734 --> 00:17:13,600
I did it!

480
00:17:13,668 --> 00:17:14,667
I win!

481
00:17:14,736 --> 00:17:16,135
Actually, you lost.

482
00:17:16,204 --> 00:17:17,770
Well, that's crazy.

483
00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:21,745
My angry ghosts killed
that pac-woman over and over.

484
00:17:21,770 --> 00:17:22,736
You're not the ghosts.

485
00:17:22,805 --> 00:17:23,804
I'm not the ghosts?

486
00:17:23,872 --> 00:17:25,019
You're the pac-woman.

487
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:25,977
I'm the pac-woman?

488
00:17:26,051 --> 00:17:27,098
You're the pac-woman.

489
00:17:28,387 --> 00:17:32,055
Well I-I guess it's goodbye.

490
00:17:33,626 --> 00:17:35,285
As I was losing my Wingman,

491
00:17:35,325 --> 00:17:37,692
Barry was ready for another day
with his wingmom.

492
00:17:37,761 --> 00:17:40,909
Mom, ROTC's in 20 minutes.

493
00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:42,734
Why aren't you dressed
in your camo sweater?

494
00:17:42,803 --> 00:17:44,603
Honey, I'm not going.

495
00:17:44,671 --> 00:17:46,683
But you are. Alone.

496
00:17:46,708 --> 00:17:47,450
What?

497
00:17:47,474 --> 00:17:49,761
You never leave your Wingman,
and you're my wingmom.

498
00:17:49,786 --> 00:17:51,619
Here. ‭I want to show you something.

499
00:17:53,056 --> 00:17:56,191
This is a picture of your dad
at his ROTC graduation.

500
00:17:56,259 --> 00:17:58,426
Who does he look like to you?

501
00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,161
Me.

502
00:18:00,230 --> 00:18:03,021
Look, your dad had nothing growing up,

503
00:18:03,046 --> 00:18:05,680
but he was able ‭to make so much of himself

504
00:18:05,749 --> 00:18:07,983
because he wasn't a quitter.

505
00:18:08,051 --> 00:18:12,053
I think I protect you so much,
I've turned you into one.

506
00:18:15,492 --> 00:18:17,745
That's why I'm ripping
up my list of dangerous jobs.

507
00:18:17,770 --> 00:18:18,969
Whoa.

508
00:18:18,994 --> 00:18:21,363
Does this mean those jobs
are no longer off-limits?

509
00:18:21,432 --> 00:18:23,999
What you want to be in life is up to you,

510
00:18:24,067 --> 00:18:26,201
no matter how scary it is for me.

511
00:18:27,704 --> 00:18:28,737
Even a trapeze artist?

512
00:18:28,806 --> 00:18:30,105
Don't push it.

513
00:18:37,147 --> 00:18:38,447
Goldberg...

514
00:18:38,515 --> 00:18:42,194
We don't normally say this
in the military, but...

515
00:18:42,219 --> 00:18:42,998
Where's your mother?

516
00:18:43,005 --> 00:18:45,005
I'm flying solo today, Captain.

517
00:18:47,288 --> 00:18:48,721
Turns out, even without a wingmom,

518
00:18:48,789 --> 00:18:51,190
Barry could still soar on his own.

519
00:18:51,259 --> 00:18:53,500
As for me, when Pops
walked out of that arcade,

520
00:18:53,525 --> 00:18:56,259
I realized I could never
fly as high without him.

521
00:18:56,328 --> 00:18:58,829
I've been informed that you're
a sucker for a sales pitch,

522
00:18:58,897 --> 00:19:00,831
so I figured you may want to sit for this.

523
00:19:00,899 --> 00:19:03,564
- Depends what you're selling. 
- ‭Us.

524
00:19:06,559 --> 00:19:09,493
By a show of hands,
how many of you fine folks

525
00:19:09,562 --> 00:19:11,495
have a grandson who you've helped raise?

526
00:19:11,564 --> 00:19:13,363
♪

527
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,714
And how many of you are willing
to forgive said grandson

528
00:19:18,739 --> 00:19:20,572
for acting like a selfish putz?

529
00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:25,797
'Cause the truth is, no
matter where you live,

530
00:19:25,866 --> 00:19:29,034
you'll always be my hero,
always be my best friend,

531
00:19:29,103 --> 00:19:30,736
always be my Pops.

532
00:19:30,804 --> 00:19:33,739
Sold.

533
00:19:35,809 --> 00:19:38,143
And that's how I made peace with my Pops.

534
00:19:38,212 --> 00:19:40,620
Sometimes it takes almost losing someone

535
00:19:40,645 --> 00:19:43,348
to make you realize just
how much you need them.

536
00:19:43,417 --> 00:19:45,384
As for Pop-pop, he'd always be

537
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:47,707
the kind of grandfather
who didn't need much,

538
00:19:47,732 --> 00:19:51,219
but deep down inside, I knew
that he still needed me.

539
00:19:51,244 --> 00:19:53,811
And, to be honest, I needed him, too.

540
00:19:55,248 --> 00:19:57,433
That's the thing about the people we love.

541
00:19:57,458 --> 00:19:59,391
They're there at our lowest...

542
00:19:59,460 --> 00:20:01,860
Well done, boys. Only one thing to do now.

543
00:20:01,929 --> 00:20:03,028
Yeah, there is!

544
00:20:03,097 --> 00:20:04,963
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

545
00:20:05,032 --> 00:20:06,965
And they're there when we're flying high,

546
00:20:07,034 --> 00:20:10,602
helping us celebrate our biggest victories.

547
00:20:27,187 --> 00:20:29,280
Truth is you can win any battle

548
00:20:29,305 --> 00:20:31,205
when your family's got your back,

549
00:20:31,274 --> 00:20:33,541
'cause no matter what life throws at you,

550
00:20:33,610 --> 00:20:36,644
it's easy for a Maverick when
he's got goose at his side.

551
00:20:36,713 --> 00:20:38,379
- Winner!
- ‭Dang it!

552
00:20:38,448 --> 00:20:41,588
That's life in the fast lane, kiddo.

553
00:20:50,784 --> 00:20:53,273
Sir! I figured it out!

554
00:20:53,298 --> 00:20:54,897
I know why you were so mad at my nicknames.

555
00:20:54,966 --> 00:20:56,065
They weren't good enough.

556
00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:58,089
Lucky for you, I got some more.

557
00:20:58,158 --> 00:20:59,123
I was very clear.

558
00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:00,946
No call signs, no nicknames.

559
00:21:00,995 --> 00:21:02,079
- But what about Sky Monkey?
- ‭No.

560
00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:03,084
- Air Dragon?
- ‭No.

561
00:21:03,109 --> 00:21:04,041
- Air Jordan?
- ‭No.

562
00:21:04,109 --> 00:21:04,908
- Thunder Hornet?
- ‭No.

563
00:21:04,977 --> 00:21:05,945
- Sky Dagger? ‭ - My god.

564
00:21:05,961 --> 00:21:07,194
- Sky Monkey.
- You already said that.

565
00:21:07,263 --> 00:21:08,062
- Wolf Man.
- ‭No!

566
00:21:08,130 --> 00:21:08,996
- Iron Beagle?
- ‭No.

567
00:21:09,065 --> 00:21:10,030
- Mach Nine?
- ‭No.

568
00:21:10,099 --> 00:21:11,039
- Mock Turtleneck?
- ‭No.

569
00:21:11,055 --> 00:21:11,773
- Handsome Barry?
- ‭No.

570
00:21:11,798 --> 00:21:12,922
- Tall Barry?
- ‭No.

571
00:21:12,990 --> 00:21:14,757
- Applesauce? ‭ - Yes! That's the one!

572
00:21:14,826 --> 00:21:18,327
Applesauce. You are Applesauce.

573
00:21:18,396 --> 00:21:19,461
- No!
- ‭Oh, yes.

574
00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:20,729
That's just filler.

575
00:21:20,798 --> 00:21:22,665
I was saying that so you
could warm up to Sky Shark.

576
00:21:22,733 --> 00:21:23,966
Pick Sky Shark!

577
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:30,144
Synced and corrected by Nest0r 
www.addic7ed.com