1 00:00:03,564 --> 00:00:05,142 Oh, a panini press. 2 00:00:05,465 --> 00:00:08,489 So they're married and they got a gift they never use. 3 00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:10,757 Hey, we got you a panini press. 4 00:00:10,759 --> 00:00:13,827 And we love it. Used it this morning. 5 00:00:13,829 --> 00:00:15,328 I just hope we do better with our new neighbors 6 00:00:15,330 --> 00:00:17,097 than we did with Mr. Briggs. 7 00:00:17,099 --> 00:00:18,732 - We blew that one. - We didn't blow that one. 8 00:00:18,734 --> 00:00:20,801 You're right. You blew that one. 9 00:00:20,803 --> 00:00:22,302 Our first interaction with Mr. Briggs 10 00:00:22,304 --> 00:00:25,105 was you accusing him of stealing figs off our tree. 11 00:00:25,107 --> 00:00:26,673 I was gonna make homemade Fig Newtons. 12 00:00:26,675 --> 00:00:27,874 Really? 13 00:00:27,876 --> 00:00:29,176 Because he's been dead for almost a year. 14 00:00:29,178 --> 00:00:31,111 I have yet to see a Newton. 15 00:00:31,113 --> 00:00:32,913 I remember when everybody sat on the lawn 16 00:00:32,915 --> 00:00:34,147 and watched me move in. 17 00:00:34,149 --> 00:00:35,482 Very different vibe. 18 00:00:35,484 --> 00:00:37,617 - Ooh, ooh, we have a dog bed. - Oh, great. 19 00:00:37,619 --> 00:00:39,386 This neighborhood could use more dog people. 20 00:00:39,388 --> 00:00:42,889 Let's hope they're also clean-up-after-their-dog people. 21 00:00:42,891 --> 00:00:44,024 We should bring them a cake. 22 00:00:44,026 --> 00:00:45,525 When I moved in, you didn't give me a cake. 23 00:00:45,527 --> 00:00:47,761 I helped you move. That was your cake. 24 00:00:47,763 --> 00:00:48,929 I heard through the grapevine 25 00:00:48,931 --> 00:00:50,897 that our new neighbors are a gay couple. 26 00:00:50,899 --> 00:00:52,632 Amazing; gay neighbors. 27 00:00:52,634 --> 00:00:54,234 How great is it that Sadie's growing up 28 00:00:54,236 --> 00:00:55,502 on such a diverse block? 29 00:00:55,504 --> 00:00:57,337 Look at you playing diversity bingo. 30 00:00:57,339 --> 00:00:59,673 Asian wife, black best friend, 31 00:00:59,675 --> 00:01:01,041 gay neighbors. 32 00:01:01,043 --> 00:01:02,342 Hell, if a little person moves in, 33 00:01:02,344 --> 00:01:03,910 you'll have all the boxes checked. 34 00:01:03,912 --> 00:01:07,180 Hell, if that little person is black, won't need you anymore. 35 00:01:07,182 --> 00:01:08,348 Ooh, there they are. 36 00:01:08,350 --> 00:01:09,783 Everyone smile and wave. 37 00:01:09,785 --> 00:01:11,184 I mean, you know, just act natural. 38 00:01:11,186 --> 00:01:12,819 You smile, you wave. 39 00:01:12,821 --> 00:01:14,688 You should smile and wave. 40 00:01:14,690 --> 00:01:16,890 How's the move going? 41 00:01:16,892 --> 00:01:18,258 Oh, great. The only thing 42 00:01:18,260 --> 00:01:20,627 the movers haven't dropped is a box of pillows. 43 00:01:20,629 --> 00:01:23,230 I've got strangers' hands all over my junk. 44 00:01:23,232 --> 00:01:24,898 Not the first time! 45 00:01:28,437 --> 00:01:29,503 Check and check. 46 00:01:29,505 --> 00:01:31,271 I love these new guys. 47 00:01:32,608 --> 00:01:34,374 Their dog has been barking for an hour. 48 00:01:36,512 --> 00:01:38,011 How do you love the new neighbors now? 49 00:01:38,013 --> 00:01:39,613 We need to do something. 50 00:01:39,615 --> 00:01:40,847 Should I ring their bell? 51 00:01:40,849 --> 00:01:41,848 It's the middle of the night. 52 00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:43,049 Throw a brick through their window? 53 00:01:43,051 --> 00:01:45,185 That's a hate crime. 54 00:01:58,185 --> 00:02:01,773 Synced and Corrected by Nsiko www.Addic7ed.com 55 00:02:02,671 --> 00:02:05,071 Hey, babe, how'd your set go? 56 00:02:05,073 --> 00:02:07,240 I did a killer five minutes of material 57 00:02:07,242 --> 00:02:09,409 over the course of about 20 minutes. 58 00:02:10,512 --> 00:02:12,212 Unbelievable. 59 00:02:12,214 --> 00:02:13,280 The poor fella. 60 00:02:13,282 --> 00:02:14,581 I saw him on the way in. 61 00:02:14,583 --> 00:02:15,582 Real old. 62 00:02:15,584 --> 00:02:17,017 Cloudy eyes, no teeth. 63 00:02:17,019 --> 00:02:18,552 He tried to bite me. 64 00:02:18,554 --> 00:02:20,854 - It was adorable. - Sounds precious. 65 00:02:20,856 --> 00:02:23,156 I'm never gonna get to sleep. 66 00:02:23,158 --> 00:02:25,125 You know, I always wanted a dog. 67 00:02:25,127 --> 00:02:26,860 My mom promised me one if I got straight As, 68 00:02:26,862 --> 00:02:29,195 so I studied my ass off. 69 00:02:29,197 --> 00:02:31,298 Then she claimed she was allergic. 70 00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:32,432 That's okay, 71 00:02:32,434 --> 00:02:33,867 'cause I was lying about my grades. 72 00:02:33,869 --> 00:02:36,169 Crazy, right? 73 00:02:38,774 --> 00:02:40,807 It's our wedding night all over again. 74 00:02:42,010 --> 00:02:43,276 Okay, sweetie. 75 00:02:43,278 --> 00:02:45,779 So now we are gonna spell "Welcome" on our cake, 76 00:02:45,781 --> 00:02:47,814 and we're gonna bring it to our new neighbors. 77 00:02:47,816 --> 00:02:49,316 Go ahead and give that a good squeeze. 78 00:02:49,318 --> 00:02:51,017 There you go, yeah... 79 00:02:51,019 --> 00:02:52,953 Don't go too big with the W. 80 00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:54,354 We still got six more letters to go. 81 00:02:54,356 --> 00:02:55,322 Pace yourself, babe. 82 00:02:55,324 --> 00:02:57,524 Okay, uppercase. U-uppercase! 83 00:02:57,526 --> 00:03:00,627 Okay, you know what? I'm just not gonna look. 84 00:03:00,629 --> 00:03:02,662 Good morning. 85 00:03:02,664 --> 00:03:04,030 Good morning. 86 00:03:04,032 --> 00:03:06,433 Why are you two so happy? 87 00:03:06,435 --> 00:03:08,635 We are making a coconut cake for our new neighbors. 88 00:03:08,637 --> 00:03:09,803 Two boys. 89 00:03:09,805 --> 00:03:11,071 That's right, sweetie, because... 90 00:03:11,073 --> 00:03:14,140 There's more than one way to live. 91 00:03:14,142 --> 00:03:16,109 - So they still get a cake. - Yeah. 92 00:03:16,111 --> 00:03:17,811 Yeah, I thought we were totally pro cake. 93 00:03:17,813 --> 00:03:18,912 I am pro cake. 94 00:03:18,914 --> 00:03:20,880 I'm just not pro these new neighbors. 95 00:03:20,882 --> 00:03:23,283 - I don't like the way that they... - Live? 96 00:03:23,285 --> 00:03:24,484 - No, no. - God no. 97 00:03:24,486 --> 00:03:25,819 I'm trying to teach Sadie that Laurie Lane 98 00:03:25,821 --> 00:03:27,754 is a community where we do things for each other. 99 00:03:27,756 --> 00:03:29,456 You know, and obviously it's important to them too, 100 00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:31,825 because look what they left on our doorstep this morning. 101 00:03:31,827 --> 00:03:33,493 They gave them to everybody on the block. 102 00:03:33,495 --> 00:03:34,761 Lotion. 103 00:03:34,763 --> 00:03:36,296 So I'm supposed to forgive their barking dog 104 00:03:36,298 --> 00:03:39,199 because they left me a tube of... 105 00:03:39,201 --> 00:03:40,333 Mountain Huckleberry? 106 00:03:40,335 --> 00:03:41,801 Yeah. 107 00:03:41,803 --> 00:03:43,470 I'm gonna have to refrost that cake. 108 00:03:43,472 --> 00:03:46,473 Whatever Sadie drew looks like a swastika with a smiley face. 109 00:03:48,543 --> 00:03:49,843 Hey, babe? 110 00:03:49,845 --> 00:03:51,711 You know how we've been saving up for a treadmill? 111 00:03:51,713 --> 00:03:56,016 I was thinking, what if, instead, we got a dog? 112 00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,084 - Nope. - Hear me out. 113 00:03:58,086 --> 00:03:59,552 What do you do on a treadmill? 114 00:03:59,554 --> 00:04:00,520 Walk. 115 00:04:00,522 --> 00:04:01,554 What do you with a dog? 116 00:04:01,556 --> 00:04:04,024 Walk. What? 117 00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,225 Tiny difference. 118 00:04:05,227 --> 00:04:07,494 I do want a treadmill; I don't want a dog. 119 00:04:07,496 --> 00:04:08,561 Come on. 120 00:04:08,563 --> 00:04:09,629 When I was single, 121 00:04:09,631 --> 00:04:11,431 I was on the road keeping odd hours. 122 00:04:11,433 --> 00:04:14,768 But now I'm married. I think we can handle a dog. 123 00:04:14,770 --> 00:04:16,102 See what you just said? 124 00:04:16,104 --> 00:04:17,203 You said "we." 125 00:04:17,205 --> 00:04:19,439 When you say "we," it really means "me," 126 00:04:19,441 --> 00:04:21,074 like the time you said we should go 127 00:04:21,076 --> 00:04:23,743 to that Halloween party as ketchup and mustard, 128 00:04:23,745 --> 00:04:25,645 then you showed up as Batman. 129 00:04:25,647 --> 00:04:27,814 We were Batman and mustard. 130 00:04:27,816 --> 00:04:29,015 To be fair, 131 00:04:29,017 --> 00:04:32,052 mustard has way better super powers than Robin does. 132 00:04:32,054 --> 00:04:33,720 Don't try to change the subject. 133 00:04:33,722 --> 00:04:35,789 You can't be responsible for a dog. 134 00:04:35,791 --> 00:04:37,524 You can't even keep plants alive. 135 00:04:37,526 --> 00:04:39,192 Everything you touch dies. 136 00:04:39,194 --> 00:04:40,927 I bet your phone's dead right now. 137 00:04:40,929 --> 00:04:42,462 No, no, it's not. 138 00:04:42,464 --> 00:04:43,463 Boom! 139 00:04:43,465 --> 00:04:44,731 Still got 2%. 140 00:04:44,733 --> 00:04:46,666 - Hello! - You know what? 141 00:04:46,668 --> 00:04:48,368 Let's just talk about this later. 142 00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:50,437 That just means you're gonna say no later. 143 00:04:50,439 --> 00:04:52,238 Fine. I'll just say no now. 144 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,207 But I've already researched the breed. 145 00:04:54,209 --> 00:04:55,542 Damn. 146 00:04:55,544 --> 00:04:57,977 Can I borrow your charger? 147 00:04:57,979 --> 00:05:00,613 I lost mine. Come... 148 00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:03,516 No complaints. 149 00:05:03,518 --> 00:05:05,819 - Be nice. - You be nice! 150 00:05:05,821 --> 00:05:07,520 - Hi. - Well, hell 151 00:05:07,522 --> 00:05:09,489 Mitch and Tracy from across the street. 152 00:05:09,491 --> 00:05:10,924 Steve. It's nice to meet you. 153 00:05:10,926 --> 00:05:12,425 - Nice to meet you. - Is that coconut? 154 00:05:12,427 --> 00:05:14,527 Wow, nice to meet you. 155 00:05:14,529 --> 00:05:16,362 Hi, I'm Stephen. 156 00:05:16,364 --> 00:05:18,832 Oh, okay, two Steves. 157 00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:20,333 Stephen. He's Steve. 158 00:05:20,335 --> 00:05:23,603 It's one of the problems with same-sex relationships that nobody talks about. 159 00:05:23,605 --> 00:05:26,339 That and my mother telling me I'm going to hell. 160 00:05:26,341 --> 00:05:27,640 I'm kidding. She died. 161 00:05:27,642 --> 00:05:30,043 She's waiting for me there. 162 00:05:30,045 --> 00:05:31,811 She's alive and well. She lives in Phoenix. 163 00:05:31,813 --> 00:05:33,747 - Well, thank you for fact - checking my joke. 164 00:05:33,749 --> 00:05:34,748 She's dead to me. 165 00:05:36,318 --> 00:05:38,184 Just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood 166 00:05:38,186 --> 00:05:39,986 and thank you for the lotion. 167 00:05:39,988 --> 00:05:42,922 Oh, gosh, we just can't get enough of this smell. 168 00:05:42,924 --> 00:05:45,892 I'm sorry, Stephen is a sales associate for Natra-lotion. 169 00:05:45,894 --> 00:05:48,027 Half our moving van was full of ointments. 170 00:05:48,029 --> 00:05:50,296 And if you'd like to buy more, I can sign you up for a month... 171 00:05:50,298 --> 00:05:51,998 Babe, babe, we just met these nice people. 172 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,333 Maybe we can just hold off a few days 173 00:05:53,335 --> 00:05:55,034 on the hard sell on the lotion. 174 00:05:55,036 --> 00:05:56,770 You mean the lotion that paid for this house? 175 00:05:59,741 --> 00:06:01,207 That must be Sadie. 176 00:06:01,209 --> 00:06:02,642 Yeah, how'd you know? 177 00:06:02,644 --> 00:06:04,077 Well, 'cause they now live on Laurie Lane, 178 00:06:04,079 --> 00:06:05,478 and they're fitting right in. 179 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:09,249 That, and her name is all over our sidewalk in chalk. 180 00:06:09,251 --> 00:06:11,384 And Stephen was just trying to figure out who Sadie is. 181 00:06:11,386 --> 00:06:12,719 So I can tell her to stop. 182 00:06:14,055 --> 00:06:16,189 Seriously. 183 00:06:16,191 --> 00:06:18,892 What Stephen is saying is that while we enjoy Sadie's art, 184 00:06:18,894 --> 00:06:21,461 the chalk dust agitates our dog's sinuses. 185 00:06:23,431 --> 00:06:24,597 Oh, that's a real thing? 186 00:06:24,599 --> 00:06:25,732 Apparently. 187 00:06:25,734 --> 00:06:27,700 Cosby's very sensitive. 188 00:06:27,702 --> 00:06:29,002 You named your dog Cosby? 189 00:06:29,004 --> 00:06:31,337 I'm sure that was a long time ago. 190 00:06:31,339 --> 00:06:33,640 Yes, 14 years ago when we rescued him, 191 00:06:33,642 --> 00:06:35,008 Cosby was America's dad. 192 00:06:35,010 --> 00:06:36,376 We couldn't change the name, 193 00:06:36,378 --> 00:06:39,345 but we did have to get rid of his adorable sweater collection. 194 00:06:39,347 --> 00:06:43,149 So, yeah, if you could keep your sidewalk chalk 195 00:06:43,151 --> 00:06:46,219 on your side of the street, that would be super great. 196 00:06:46,221 --> 00:06:47,654 I'm just saying. 197 00:06:47,656 --> 00:06:50,156 Okay, well, while the floor is open to super-great ideas... 198 00:06:50,158 --> 00:06:51,157 Trace... 199 00:06:51,159 --> 00:06:52,325 Is your dog gonna bark all night? 200 00:06:52,327 --> 00:06:53,827 'Cause it's keeping our daughter awake. 201 00:06:53,829 --> 00:06:55,662 But she fell right back asleep. 202 00:06:55,664 --> 00:06:56,930 In our bed. 203 00:06:56,932 --> 00:06:59,098 Cosby needs time to adjust. 204 00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,767 Maybe our baby could sleep indoors. 205 00:07:00,769 --> 00:07:01,968 Maybe. 206 00:07:01,970 --> 00:07:03,036 No chalk there. 207 00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:08,808 We should do this again soon. 208 00:07:08,810 --> 00:07:11,628 - Yes, it's been amazing. - Okay. 209 00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:15,982 Daddy, if Cosby's their baby, then who's the mommy? 210 00:07:15,984 --> 00:07:17,050 Amazing. 211 00:07:23,392 --> 00:07:29,264 So I found an answer to our dog problem. 212 00:07:29,266 --> 00:07:32,200 - We don't have a dog problem. - Not anymore. 213 00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,868 Bam! 214 00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,837 This is Peanut. Peanut, this is Angie. 215 00:07:35,839 --> 00:07:37,973 Angie, this is Peanut. 216 00:07:37,975 --> 00:07:41,643 So you just unilaterally decided we were getting a dog? 217 00:07:41,645 --> 00:07:43,278 How is that different than you 218 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:45,747 unilaterally deciding that we weren't? 219 00:07:45,749 --> 00:07:47,749 It's different in that we now have a dog. 220 00:07:47,751 --> 00:07:49,351 Relax. You know my buddy Chris. 221 00:07:49,353 --> 00:07:51,086 He's doing stand-up on the road this week, 222 00:07:51,088 --> 00:07:53,221 so I told him I'd take care of Peanut. 223 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,190 Look, once you see how well this goes, 224 00:07:55,192 --> 00:07:56,858 we can get our own dog. 225 00:07:56,860 --> 00:07:59,294 Great, it's like winning a pie-eating contest 226 00:07:59,296 --> 00:08:01,062 where the prize is more pie. 227 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:03,064 Don't worry, I got this. 228 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,401 Hey, stop chewing on that. 229 00:08:07,471 --> 00:08:10,038 You'll see how responsible I am. 230 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:13,008 You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into. 231 00:08:13,010 --> 00:08:14,743 Could you have a little faith in your man? 232 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:16,378 I was talking to the dog. 233 00:08:18,015 --> 00:08:19,314 But the dog's not barkin. 234 00:08:19,316 --> 00:08:20,882 But maybe we didn't need to say anything. 235 00:08:20,884 --> 00:08:21,850 Maybe Stephen was right. 236 00:08:21,852 --> 00:08:23,318 The dog just needed time to adjust. 237 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,320 Or was it Steve? I already have them confused. 238 00:08:25,322 --> 00:08:27,656 - It was girl Steve. - Whoa. 239 00:08:27,658 --> 00:08:29,090 You can't say that. 240 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,425 But you knew which one I was talking about. 241 00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,727 I did. 242 00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,596 Oh, my God. I see what's happening here. 243 00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:36,298 You're trying harder with these guys 244 00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:37,666 because they're gay. 245 00:08:37,668 --> 00:08:38,633 What? 246 00:08:38,635 --> 00:08:40,802 No. No! 247 00:08:40,804 --> 00:08:43,204 I don't want this to be Briggs with the figs all over again. 248 00:08:43,206 --> 00:08:45,453 - Plus... - Yes, I don't want to seem homophobic. 249 00:08:45,453 --> 00:08:46,380 Yeah. 250 00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:51,079 - And you like them? - The Steves are great. 251 00:08:51,081 --> 00:08:52,580 They have a cabin up in Mammoth 252 00:08:52,582 --> 00:08:54,382 they said we could use any time. 253 00:08:54,384 --> 00:08:57,552 Now, I don't do wilderness, but that's very sweet. 254 00:08:57,554 --> 00:09:01,523 They even brought us a coconut cake. 255 00:09:02,993 --> 00:09:05,293 Can you please let Mitch know about this? 256 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,297 - Hey, ladies. - Hold up. 257 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:12,634 You can't just walk up in here like you're not wearing a dog. 258 00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:13,868 This must be Peanut. 259 00:09:13,870 --> 00:09:16,271 You like this? It's an ergonomic dog carrier. 260 00:09:16,273 --> 00:09:18,807 The Steves recommended it. It's good for the back. 261 00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:19,874 Yours or his? 262 00:09:19,876 --> 00:09:21,343 His. My back is killing me. 263 00:09:21,345 --> 00:09:23,578 I also gassed up your car, grabbed our dry cleaning, 264 00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:26,181 and got you a coffee. 265 00:09:26,183 --> 00:09:27,916 Don't be jealous. 266 00:09:27,918 --> 00:09:31,052 I'm not used to this, but I could get used to this. 267 00:09:31,054 --> 00:09:32,787 Somebody is a little rumbly in the tumbly. 268 00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:35,256 We should go for a walk so we don't have another accident. 269 00:09:35,258 --> 00:09:37,125 I mean, a first accident. 270 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:40,428 I got to say, 271 00:09:40,430 --> 00:09:41,996 when Russell said he could take care of a dog, 272 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:45,333 I had my doubts, but it's pretty impressive. 273 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,168 Oh, I got to run next door. 274 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,837 Sadie's Doc McStuffins video is almost over. 275 00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:50,472 Don't look at me like that. 276 00:09:50,474 --> 00:09:51,706 You'll be doing the same thing soon enough. 277 00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:53,041 Russell's already got the dog. 278 00:09:53,043 --> 00:09:55,276 It's only a matter of time before he wants the kid. 279 00:09:57,214 --> 00:09:59,981 But thank you for keeping Cosby quiet last night, 280 00:09:59,983 --> 00:10:02,951 which is why I specifically chose this dog toy 281 00:10:02,953 --> 00:10:05,086 as an olive branch. 282 00:10:05,088 --> 00:10:07,756 Symbolic, even though real olive branches don't... 283 00:10:08,892 --> 00:10:10,859 Huh? 284 00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:14,028 So whatever you did to keep him quiet last night, 285 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,997 keep it up. 286 00:10:15,999 --> 00:10:18,032 Well, the reason that you didn't hear him last night 287 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,167 is because he wasn't here. 288 00:10:19,169 --> 00:10:22,804 - He was at the vet's. He's sick. - Oh, my God. 289 00:10:22,806 --> 00:10:24,706 So you can see why we don't want to keep it up. 290 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,708 No, obviously. I'm so sorry. 291 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,209 - Is he okay? - We're not sure. 292 00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:29,277 He's a fighter, though. 293 00:10:29,279 --> 00:10:31,312 He's outlived two veterinarians. 294 00:10:32,416 --> 00:10:35,483 So to recap, super-clever olive branch, 295 00:10:35,485 --> 00:10:37,419 hope Cosby rebounds... Your Cosby... 296 00:10:37,421 --> 00:10:40,722 And gay marriage? Fantastic. 297 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,190 Uh, we're not married. 298 00:10:42,192 --> 00:10:44,192 It's a sensitive subject. 299 00:10:45,629 --> 00:10:47,695 Trace, I can't do it. I don't want to do it. 300 00:10:47,697 --> 00:10:50,198 I'm not having kids. It would just ruin my life. 301 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,601 So I'm just gonna go grab a juice box. 302 00:10:56,139 --> 00:10:58,606 Well, at least this time I didn't curse. 303 00:10:58,608 --> 00:11:00,608 Okay, what's happening with you? 304 00:11:00,610 --> 00:11:03,077 It's this stupid, adorable dog. 305 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,379 It's a gateway. 306 00:11:04,381 --> 00:11:06,047 If Russell wants a dog, he's gonna want kids. 307 00:11:06,049 --> 00:11:07,115 - Who said that? - You said that. 308 00:11:07,117 --> 00:11:09,684 I said that, 'cause it's true. 309 00:11:09,686 --> 00:11:11,686 For some people. 310 00:11:11,688 --> 00:11:13,221 When Russell and I got married, 311 00:11:13,223 --> 00:11:15,890 we both agreed we weren't having kids. 312 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:17,225 I'm a pediatrician. 313 00:11:17,227 --> 00:11:19,861 I take care of kids all day, and at night, 314 00:11:19,863 --> 00:11:22,197 I come home to a 32-year-old kid. 315 00:11:22,199 --> 00:11:23,998 I know it's not a popular stance, 316 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,135 but I've never wanted children. 317 00:11:27,137 --> 00:11:28,303 See? 318 00:11:28,305 --> 00:11:30,939 If I was a mom, I'd have to clean that up. 319 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,177 It's so embarrassing. I keep stepping in it. 320 00:11:36,179 --> 00:11:39,113 I just want to have a good relationship with our neighbors. 321 00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,648 I'm not giving up on these guys. 322 00:11:40,650 --> 00:11:43,651 - Because they're gay? - And not because they're gay. 323 00:11:43,653 --> 00:11:44,652 Hey, guys. 324 00:11:44,654 --> 00:11:45,887 - Hey. - Hey. 325 00:11:45,889 --> 00:11:49,090 - Did you guys hear about Cosby? - What did that man do now? 326 00:11:49,092 --> 00:11:51,226 Right? But wrong Cosby. 327 00:11:51,228 --> 00:11:52,694 He's talking about the Steves' dog. 328 00:11:52,696 --> 00:11:53,962 Oh, my God. 329 00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:56,331 Is word getting around of what happened with me and the Steves? 330 00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:59,300 No, although I did hear about the squeaky stick you got him. 331 00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:02,470 I noticed Peanut didn't get his yet. 332 00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:06,341 Anyway, the procedure Cosby needs is $2,000. 333 00:12:06,343 --> 00:12:08,776 That's like $100,000 in dog dollars. 334 00:12:08,778 --> 00:12:10,578 They're having a fundraiser to cover the expenses. 335 00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:12,046 They asked us to help pass out flyers. 336 00:12:12,048 --> 00:12:13,982 What? They just moved in. 337 00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:16,584 They can't ask people for money for their dog. 338 00:12:16,586 --> 00:12:18,953 You can't put a price tag on love. 339 00:12:18,955 --> 00:12:21,089 Well, they did. $50 a person. 340 00:12:21,091 --> 00:12:22,257 Unbelievable. 341 00:12:22,259 --> 00:12:23,925 And since you're already pissed off, 342 00:12:23,927 --> 00:12:27,262 I should tell you that they regifted us your cake. 343 00:12:27,264 --> 00:12:29,297 Finally got my cake. 344 00:12:32,823 --> 00:12:34,390 It's ridiculous. 345 00:12:34,392 --> 00:12:37,360 The Steves have been on the block for two days, and they're throwing a fundraiser 346 00:12:37,362 --> 00:12:38,595 for their geriatric dog? 347 00:12:38,597 --> 00:12:40,597 There you are. There you are! 348 00:12:40,599 --> 00:12:41,998 Baby, welcome back. 349 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,199 No, no, no, they can't do this. 350 00:12:43,201 --> 00:12:45,635 You can't make your household bills someone else's problems. 351 00:12:46,055 --> 00:12:47,454 Our electric bill is pretty steep, 352 00:12:47,456 --> 00:12:50,124 but you don't see me asking Doug and Diane up the street to chip in. 353 00:12:50,126 --> 00:12:51,925 The Steves are nice guys, 354 00:12:51,927 --> 00:12:53,761 and this fundraiser is voluntary. 355 00:12:53,763 --> 00:12:55,029 Is it? 356 00:12:55,031 --> 00:12:56,664 When someone guilt trips you with their dying dog, 357 00:12:56,666 --> 00:12:58,165 you kind of have to do it. 358 00:12:58,167 --> 00:13:00,801 Oh, you mean like the way Tracy guilts us 359 00:13:00,803 --> 00:13:03,003 with Sadie's cute face, taking her door-to-door 360 00:13:03,005 --> 00:13:05,739 peddling overpriced wrapping paper? 361 00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:08,542 Every school doesn't need a band, Tracy. 362 00:13:08,544 --> 00:13:10,177 Look, everyone loves the Steves. 363 00:13:10,179 --> 00:13:11,145 And who wouldn't? 364 00:13:11,147 --> 00:13:15,215 Who moves into a neighborhood and gives everyone on the block a gift? 365 00:13:15,217 --> 00:13:16,450 A gift? 366 00:13:16,452 --> 00:13:19,153 You mean that lotion that Stephen's slinging? 367 00:13:19,155 --> 00:13:21,488 That incredibly fragrant lotion was not free. 368 00:13:21,490 --> 00:13:23,123 He gave us all just a little taste, 369 00:13:23,125 --> 00:13:24,892 'cause he knows that we're gonna come back for more. 370 00:13:24,894 --> 00:13:25,926 And more. 371 00:13:25,928 --> 00:13:27,161 Next thing you know, you're on the street 372 00:13:27,163 --> 00:13:29,897 selling that sweet ass of yours for another hit of Night-blooming Jasmine. 373 00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:34,201 Well, the whole neighborhood is planning on going, 374 00:13:34,203 --> 00:13:37,538 but if you don't want to go, don't go. 375 00:13:37,540 --> 00:13:40,007 - Oh, we're not going. - Oh, we're absolutely going. 376 00:13:40,009 --> 00:13:42,309 It's like I'm new here. 377 00:13:42,311 --> 00:13:44,478 We can't be the only ones on the block who don't go. 378 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:45,779 We're part of a community. 379 00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:47,081 No, no, no, we're going. 380 00:13:47,083 --> 00:13:48,682 Yeah, we're gonna give them 100 bucks 381 00:13:48,684 --> 00:13:51,385 and fill up on whatever fancy high-end dinner they serve. 382 00:13:52,722 --> 00:13:54,521 It's a potluck. 383 00:13:58,594 --> 00:13:59,560 Oh, no. 384 00:13:59,562 --> 00:14:01,695 We do not sit on furniture in my house. 385 00:14:03,032 --> 00:14:07,134 Is that Russell's Gucci high-top? 386 00:14:07,136 --> 00:14:10,104 Ooh, you're gonna get it. 387 00:14:10,106 --> 00:14:11,538 You are gonna get it. 388 00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:13,907 Russell! Russell, come quick! 389 00:14:13,909 --> 00:14:15,876 - Yeah, baby, what? - Look. 390 00:14:15,878 --> 00:14:17,845 Look what Taco Bell did. 391 00:14:17,847 --> 00:14:20,280 - Oh, not my Gucci high-top. - I know! 392 00:14:20,282 --> 00:14:22,216 After all you've done for him. 393 00:14:22,218 --> 00:14:23,350 But that's a dog for you: 394 00:14:23,352 --> 00:14:27,154 unpredictable, selfish, evil. 395 00:14:27,156 --> 00:14:28,789 Hold on now. 396 00:14:28,791 --> 00:14:30,891 This is a teachable moment. 397 00:14:30,893 --> 00:14:32,192 How should we approach this? 398 00:14:32,194 --> 00:14:34,695 He should see us as a parental unit. 399 00:14:34,697 --> 00:14:35,996 Well, come on, get mad. 400 00:14:35,998 --> 00:14:38,031 He ruined your favorite sneakers. 401 00:14:38,033 --> 00:14:41,769 Shoes are just things, Angie. 402 00:14:41,771 --> 00:14:44,471 I don't even know who you are anymore. 403 00:14:44,473 --> 00:14:46,006 Honey, let's not fight in front of... 404 00:14:46,008 --> 00:14:47,040 Mm... mm. 405 00:14:50,613 --> 00:14:51,879 Peanut. 406 00:14:51,881 --> 00:14:53,847 Trace, we're doing this. 407 00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:54,982 Just a quick in and out. 408 00:14:54,984 --> 00:14:56,450 We're just gonna show our support, 409 00:14:56,452 --> 00:14:57,584 give our money... 410 00:14:57,586 --> 00:14:59,153 find out where they got this area rug. 411 00:14:59,155 --> 00:15:00,888 It's like I'm walking on a cloud. 412 00:15:00,890 --> 00:15:02,556 Get a load of that banner. 413 00:15:02,558 --> 00:15:04,525 Unbelievable. 414 00:15:04,527 --> 00:15:06,927 Hey, Robbie. How'd the science fair go? 415 00:15:06,929 --> 00:15:08,762 Your mom told me that your volcano 416 00:15:08,764 --> 00:15:10,731 exploded all over the multipurpose room. 417 00:15:10,733 --> 00:15:13,333 I want to see pictures, buddy, okay? 418 00:15:13,335 --> 00:15:14,401 Put that up on the dream board. 419 00:15:14,403 --> 00:15:16,436 We'll see what happens, huh? 420 00:15:17,673 --> 00:15:19,139 Mitch, Tracy. 421 00:15:19,141 --> 00:15:20,307 Thank you so much for coming 422 00:15:20,309 --> 00:15:21,942 and showing your love for our baby. 423 00:15:24,513 --> 00:15:26,547 Right. 424 00:15:26,549 --> 00:15:28,549 Here's a check from the Coopers. 425 00:15:28,551 --> 00:15:31,118 Tracy Cooper, Esquire. Oh, you're a lawyer? 426 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,220 That explains things. 427 00:15:33,222 --> 00:15:34,454 Mitch, can I steal you for a second? 428 00:15:34,456 --> 00:15:35,856 Yeah. 429 00:15:37,793 --> 00:15:38,992 Tell me you've seen Peanut. 430 00:15:38,994 --> 00:15:40,227 Yes, Russell, I've seen him, 431 00:15:40,229 --> 00:15:41,628 and I've seen the pictures. Very cute. 432 00:15:41,630 --> 00:15:43,197 No, no, he's missing. 433 00:15:43,199 --> 00:15:44,364 I must have left the gate open. 434 00:15:44,366 --> 00:15:45,833 If Angie finds out that I lost Peanut, 435 00:15:45,835 --> 00:15:47,868 it's gonna look like I can't keep track of a dog. 436 00:15:47,870 --> 00:15:49,603 Well, you kind of can't. 437 00:15:49,605 --> 00:15:51,872 Fair point. Maybe somebody took him. 438 00:15:51,874 --> 00:15:53,006 That's ridiculous. 439 00:15:53,008 --> 00:15:54,808 Who in this neighborhood would take a dog? 440 00:15:54,810 --> 00:15:57,110 - Yes, I took the dog. - What? 441 00:15:57,112 --> 00:15:58,312 Why? 442 00:15:58,314 --> 00:16:00,314 Because I had to shut this down. 443 00:16:00,316 --> 00:16:01,481 I don't want kids, 444 00:16:01,483 --> 00:16:04,985 and I thought Russell would fail on his own, but I needed to help him a little bit. 445 00:16:04,987 --> 00:16:06,053 See? 446 00:16:06,055 --> 00:16:07,821 He can't even fail without my help. 447 00:16:07,823 --> 00:16:10,490 Maybe this really is just about a dog, 448 00:16:10,492 --> 00:16:12,826 and he's just trying to show you he can be responsible. 449 00:16:12,828 --> 00:16:14,661 But he's not. He lost the dog. 450 00:16:14,663 --> 00:16:16,129 Because you kidnapped him. 451 00:16:16,131 --> 00:16:17,297 Exactly. 452 00:16:17,299 --> 00:16:18,432 If I kidnap Sadie, 453 00:16:18,434 --> 00:16:21,101 doesn't that make you a bad parent? 454 00:16:21,103 --> 00:16:24,071 Look, Angie, why don't you just talk to Russell 455 00:16:24,073 --> 00:16:25,606 and see where his head's at? 456 00:16:25,608 --> 00:16:27,674 For what it's worth, if you ever change your mind 457 00:16:27,676 --> 00:16:30,911 about wanting to have kids, I think he'd make a great dad. 458 00:16:32,781 --> 00:16:35,849 Damn it, Peanut, stop humping my wallet. 459 00:16:38,554 --> 00:16:39,887 Hey, have you seen this dog? 460 00:16:39,889 --> 00:16:41,488 No, cute. 461 00:16:41,490 --> 00:16:42,656 Look, this is him running, 462 00:16:42,658 --> 00:16:44,791 and this is him with reading glasses on. 463 00:16:44,793 --> 00:16:46,593 Oh, well, he's not in this one, 464 00:16:46,595 --> 00:16:49,596 but this is me looking at him wearing reading glasses. 465 00:16:49,598 --> 00:16:51,431 Russell, look who I found. 466 00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:54,268 Peanut, there you are. 467 00:16:54,270 --> 00:16:56,937 Oh, I was so worried about you, buddy. 468 00:16:56,939 --> 00:16:58,605 That was scary, wasn't it? 469 00:16:58,607 --> 00:16:59,940 Where'd you find him? 470 00:16:59,942 --> 00:17:02,676 In my purse. I kind of kidnapped him. 471 00:17:02,678 --> 00:17:04,678 Why? 472 00:17:08,697 --> 00:17:11,092 Look, I'm sorry I stole your dog. 473 00:17:11,245 --> 00:17:15,114 It's just... don't take this the wrong way, 474 00:17:15,149 --> 00:17:17,449 but I didn't expect you to rise to the occasion. 475 00:17:17,485 --> 00:17:20,352 Me neither. No one saw that coming. 476 00:17:20,388 --> 00:17:21,654 And I was just worried 477 00:17:21,689 --> 00:17:23,489 that if you thought you could take care of a dog 478 00:17:23,524 --> 00:17:25,958 that you would want a little Russell running around the house. 479 00:17:25,993 --> 00:17:28,127 A dog is not a kid, Angie. 480 00:17:28,162 --> 00:17:31,463 Then why did you buy him a stroller? 481 00:17:31,499 --> 00:17:34,867 The point is, if things have changed, 482 00:17:34,902 --> 00:17:38,404 and you do want kids, I want you to know that... 483 00:17:38,439 --> 00:17:39,839 No. No. 484 00:17:39,874 --> 00:17:41,540 Kids? God no. 485 00:17:41,576 --> 00:17:44,143 Caring for a dog is hard enough. 486 00:17:44,178 --> 00:17:47,813 The lack of sleep, the disciplining, the steak. 487 00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:49,849 I've been feeding him steak. 488 00:17:49,884 --> 00:17:50,983 But kids? 489 00:17:51,018 --> 00:17:53,953 That's magnified by, like, a thousand. 490 00:17:53,988 --> 00:17:56,856 So... you don't want kids? 491 00:17:56,891 --> 00:17:59,825 No. I'm not cut out for that kind of responsibility. 492 00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:02,027 Can I tell you something? 493 00:18:02,063 --> 00:18:05,497 I don't even know what day it is. 494 00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:08,567 Trust me, we're on the same page. 495 00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:14,173 Yeah. 496 00:18:14,208 --> 00:18:16,342 Same page. 497 00:18:16,377 --> 00:18:17,977 Babe, look around. 498 00:18:18,012 --> 00:18:20,613 All these people. $50 a head. 499 00:18:20,648 --> 00:18:23,549 Yeah, the Steves have raised way over 2 grand. 500 00:18:23,584 --> 00:18:26,485 With that kind of money, they could fix both Cosbys. 501 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:27,820 Thank you so much. 502 00:18:27,855 --> 00:18:30,322 - They're still collecting. - More like stealing. 503 00:18:30,358 --> 00:18:32,791 Let's grab Sadie and get out of here. 504 00:18:32,827 --> 00:18:34,627 Hey, no! No. 505 00:18:34,662 --> 00:18:35,895 Bad. Bad girl. 506 00:18:35,930 --> 00:18:37,196 What's going on? 507 00:18:37,231 --> 00:18:39,298 Your hyperactive daughter bumped into the table 508 00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:40,666 and almost broke our statue. 509 00:18:40,701 --> 00:18:42,167 But she's just a child. 510 00:18:42,203 --> 00:18:44,470 We can't blame a child for being a child. 511 00:18:44,505 --> 00:18:47,339 No, but we can blame the parents who can't control their child. 512 00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:48,507 Excuse me? 513 00:18:48,542 --> 00:18:50,175 - Control our child? - Trace. 514 00:18:50,211 --> 00:18:51,543 No, Mitch, I'm doing this. 515 00:18:51,579 --> 00:18:54,046 No, Trace, I'm doing this. 516 00:18:54,081 --> 00:18:56,548 Control our child? 517 00:18:56,584 --> 00:18:59,118 How about controlling your dog? 518 00:18:59,153 --> 00:19:00,686 You let it bark all night 519 00:19:00,721 --> 00:19:02,521 without any regard to the neighborhood. 520 00:19:02,556 --> 00:19:04,857 How are you guys all falling for this? 521 00:19:04,892 --> 00:19:06,625 And here we go. 522 00:19:06,661 --> 00:19:07,893 Let me tell you something. 523 00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:10,562 This little fundraiser of theirs made a profit today. 524 00:19:10,598 --> 00:19:12,531 Yeah, that's right. 525 00:19:12,566 --> 00:19:14,633 They exploited the love of Laurie Lane. 526 00:19:14,669 --> 00:19:16,302 You know, there are two types of people in this world: 527 00:19:16,337 --> 00:19:17,903 people who, when there's a problem, 528 00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:20,739 go, "It's probably me," and people who go, 529 00:19:20,775 --> 00:19:22,574 "It's definitely them." 530 00:19:22,610 --> 00:19:24,476 I lean towards "definitely them." 531 00:19:24,512 --> 00:19:26,578 So while we'd all love to welcome you to the neighborhood, 532 00:19:26,614 --> 00:19:29,715 we'd also like to remind you that there is a social contract, 533 00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:32,051 and you sir and sir, 534 00:19:32,086 --> 00:19:35,054 are in major, major violation. 535 00:19:35,089 --> 00:19:37,256 It's definitely you. 536 00:19:37,291 --> 00:19:41,527 It's a dog, an old-ass dog. 537 00:19:41,562 --> 00:19:43,529 It was an old-ass dog. 538 00:19:43,564 --> 00:19:44,863 - Uh-huh. - Oh. 539 00:19:44,899 --> 00:19:46,265 - Uh-huh. - Really? 540 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:49,401 He's just gonna take a call while I'm talking. 541 00:19:49,437 --> 00:19:51,236 Thank you. 542 00:19:51,272 --> 00:19:52,438 Cosby's gone. 543 00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:00,846 It's probably me. 544 00:20:03,451 --> 00:20:04,483 Yeah. 545 00:20:08,322 --> 00:20:10,089 I know there's still some hard feelings, 546 00:20:10,124 --> 00:20:12,124 but the Steves had something to say. 547 00:20:12,159 --> 00:20:15,060 It's Steve and Stephen. 548 00:20:15,096 --> 00:20:16,895 Look, we know you had concerns 549 00:20:16,931 --> 00:20:18,897 about where the extra money was going. 550 00:20:18,933 --> 00:20:22,301 Did I say that? 551 00:20:22,336 --> 00:20:24,136 Well, we thought about it, and we decided 552 00:20:24,171 --> 00:20:26,905 that we should give the money back to the neighborhood. 553 00:20:26,941 --> 00:20:29,675 You know Robbie, the little boy whose mother is getting a divorce? 554 00:20:29,710 --> 00:20:31,310 Well, his birthday is coming up. 555 00:20:31,345 --> 00:20:34,146 And they used the money to give him a nice gift from Laurie Lane. 556 00:20:34,181 --> 00:20:35,981 That's very nice of you. 557 00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:37,182 It was actually... 558 00:20:38,352 --> 00:20:39,618 Stephen's idea. 559 00:20:39,653 --> 00:20:42,221 Yes, yes, it was. 560 00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:55,067 Didn't know Robbie was into drums. 561 00:20:59,607 --> 00:21:01,340 Want me to say something to his mom? 562 00:21:01,375 --> 00:21:04,676 Uh, no, I think you've done enough. 563 00:21:04,712 --> 00:21:07,312 - I want a drum set. - Shh.