1 00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:48,050 [HE CLEARS THROAT] Excuse me. 2 00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:51,690 - Yeah? - Would you mind taking a photo? - Sure. - I'll just wind it back. 3 00:01:51,740 --> 00:01:54,250 It's an old... old camera. 4 00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:58,730 - There we are. Just press that button there. - OK. 5 00:01:58,780 --> 00:02:02,330 - Try and get me with the... jewel. - Yeah. 6 00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:03,980 Just a sec. 7 00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:08,530 SHUTTER CLICKS 8 00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:10,210 Yeah? 9 00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:12,530 It's important that I get the... the... 10 00:02:12,580 --> 00:02:14,740 RETREATING FOOTSTEPS 11 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:38,730 ♪ Will you search through the lonely earth for me, 12 00:02:38,780 --> 00:02:41,580 ♪ Climb through the briar and bramble? 13 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,660 ♪ I'll be your treasure 14 00:02:48,740 --> 00:02:50,740 ♪ I'm waiting for you 15 00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:55,820 ♪ I'm waiting for you. ♪ 16 00:02:58,380 --> 00:03:00,050 - Oh! - WASP BUZZES 17 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:03,130 Stripy bas... bastard! Ohhh! 18 00:03:03,180 --> 00:03:05,610 Why are you even awake at this time of year? 19 00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:07,460 BUZZING CONTINUES 20 00:03:10,260 --> 00:03:11,860 Mate! 21 00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:16,970 - Bloody hell! - ANDY CHUCKLES 22 00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:19,020 - Hello, mate! - Ah! 23 00:03:20,380 --> 00:03:23,690 - Oh, I won't... I... spilled a bit of coffee down my front! - Sure. 24 00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:25,450 So what are you doing here, then? 25 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:27,970 I thought you were supposed to be in Botswana. 26 00:03:28,020 --> 00:03:30,370 Yeah, just came back for a week, pick up some stuff. 27 00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:33,210 - Looks like we're going to be staying a bit longer. - Yeah? 28 00:03:33,260 --> 00:03:35,690 - So it's all going well, then? - Mate, it's amazing. 29 00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:38,730 - I've so much to tell you. - And Becky and Stan? - Yep, they're well. 30 00:03:38,780 --> 00:03:41,290 - They're at home. - I'll have to come round and say hello. 31 00:03:41,340 --> 00:03:44,170 Oh, no, I meant home, Botswana home. 32 00:03:44,220 --> 00:03:48,050 Bloody hell! Listen to that! Even got a bit of an accent going on there. 33 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:50,570 - Shut up! I haven't. - Yeah! 34 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:55,770 - But they're both well? - Yeah, yeah, brilliant. Thriving. 35 00:03:55,820 --> 00:04:01,850 - How are you doing? - Yeah, all right. Not bad. - Sure? - Yeah, yeah. All good. 36 00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:04,250 BUZZING 37 00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:06,890 Apart from this bloody wasp! 38 00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:09,570 What's a wasp even doing awake at this time of year? 39 00:04:09,620 --> 00:04:11,370 Strange, isn't it? 40 00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,860 Sent here to hound me. 41 00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:19,010 Oh, tell you what... 42 00:04:19,060 --> 00:04:21,570 I went to see the jewel this week. 43 00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:24,810 - It's on temporary display at the British Museum. - No way! Already? 44 00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:26,660 How does it look? 45 00:04:27,860 --> 00:04:30,610 Well, I'll tell you what it looks like... 46 00:04:30,660 --> 00:04:34,050 It looks like a wild animal that's been trapped in a cage. 47 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:36,570 What, you'd prefer it was still under the ground? 48 00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:40,410 Oh, I don't know, mate. I can't explain it. 49 00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:43,850 [HE SIGHS] They haven't even given it a name. 50 00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:48,290 It's called R5010ST78. 51 00:04:48,340 --> 00:04:49,970 Catchy(!) 52 00:04:50,020 --> 00:04:53,530 It's been prodded and poked and catalogued... 53 00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:56,090 Can't even remember what it felt like in my own hand. 54 00:04:56,140 --> 00:05:00,010 I'm giving a talk about it on Tuesday at the club. With slides. 55 00:05:00,060 --> 00:05:02,200 Nice one. I'll be there. 56 00:05:02,820 --> 00:05:06,770 There's a journalist coming down to write about it for the local rag. 57 00:05:06,820 --> 00:05:10,250 - You've become quite the celebrity! - Oh, yeah. 58 00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:12,930 Thinking of bringing out a perfume range. 59 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:16,730 - Your reward money? - Oh, it hasn't come through yet, but... 60 00:05:16,780 --> 00:05:20,770 it's all signed off. Cheque should be with me in the next few days. 61 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,290 How much? 62 00:05:25,860 --> 00:05:27,210 STRANGLED YELL 63 00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:28,530 NNNNGGHHH! 64 00:05:28,580 --> 00:05:29,890 OHHHH! 65 00:05:29,940 --> 00:05:31,490 GAAAAHHHH! UUURGH! 66 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:33,530 NNNNGHHH! 67 00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:37,610 Here, you can see an artist's impression of what it would 68 00:05:37,660 --> 00:05:39,930 have looked like with the shaft in place. 69 00:05:39,980 --> 00:05:43,330 It was probably cherry or rosewood. 70 00:05:43,380 --> 00:05:48,050 There may have been a leather strap attached, 71 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:51,130 again, long since returned to the earth. 72 00:05:51,180 --> 00:05:54,610 There is talk of replacing the shaft at some point, 73 00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:57,850 but this is of course ongoing discussion. 74 00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:00,210 And finally... 75 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:01,810 here she is. 76 00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:05,460 - CLICKING - Proudly in her place. 77 00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:09,690 Thank you. Thank you. 78 00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:11,410 A-Any questions? 79 00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:13,090 Who's that? 80 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,450 What do you mean? It's... 81 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:15,810 It's me! 82 00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:18,740 No, behind you. 83 00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:26,010 Dunno! 84 00:06:26,060 --> 00:06:27,250 WEIRD ZAPPING 85 00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:29,500 ALL EXCLAIM 86 00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:33,250 Lights, please, Sheila! 87 00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:35,490 - EXTINGUISHER WHOOSHES - Keep away from it! 88 00:06:35,540 --> 00:06:37,090 CRIES OF PROTEST 89 00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:39,970 - No! Russ! - Jesus! 90 00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:45,250 - For God's sake, Russell, I'm soaked! - Good work, you fucking idiot! 91 00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:47,250 Oh, that's all the thanks I get, is it? 92 00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:51,330 - You'd be happier in flames, would you? Honestly! - You all right? - Yeah. 93 00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:54,570 - I don't know why I bother sometimes. - Look at my jumper! 94 00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:59,970 - HUGH: I... I didn't see it. - What did you see, Sheila? - Oh, here he is. 95 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,490 You saw it, didn't you, Lance? 96 00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:07,250 - Saw what? - The hooded figure in the back of the picture. 97 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:09,370 No, didn't see anything like that. 98 00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:13,810 - Well, then why did you go deathly white? - It was looking at you, Lance. 99 00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:15,690 Don't say that, Sheila! 100 00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:19,700 Well, I was at the wrong angle, but if Sheila says she saw something... 101 00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:23,610 Sheila tends to... see things. 102 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:28,290 - What sort of things? - Things that are... not of this world. 103 00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:31,170 Oh, brilliant! That's the last thing I need right now -- 104 00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:33,690 a ghostly hooded monk following me around. 105 00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:35,250 Are you all right, Lance? 106 00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:38,810 I've noticed you've not had anything on the finds table for months. 107 00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:41,810 I haven't found anything since that aestel. 108 00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:44,330 Yeah, but, mate, that jewel is a once-in-a-lifetime. 109 00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:47,250 Nothing is ever going to compare to that, the usual buttons and... 110 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:51,130 No, no. You don't understand. I have found NOTHING since then. 111 00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:55,460 Not a buckle, not a ring-pull, not even scrap! 112 00:07:56,780 --> 00:08:00,530 I get phantom signals, really good, strong signals, 113 00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:03,210 and they just disappear as soon as I start to dig. 114 00:08:03,260 --> 00:08:07,210 - It's the curse of the gold. - Shut up! No such thing. 115 00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:08,850 Don't be so sure. 116 00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:11,210 Remember what happened to Lenny Drinkwater 117 00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:14,130 when he found that Viking bracelet? 118 00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:16,210 He didn't fill in his hole. 119 00:08:16,260 --> 00:08:20,290 Beryl Cambridge stepped in the hole, breaks an ankle. 120 00:08:20,340 --> 00:08:25,330 - Break goes gangrene. - Leg comes off below the knee. Curse of the gold. 121 00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:27,580 Well, it's not only that. 122 00:08:28,660 --> 00:08:32,570 I got hayfever for the first time in my life this summer. 123 00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:37,250 And I've started stumbling over rocks and tripping into nettles and... 124 00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:39,650 I can't remember birdsong any more. 125 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:42,210 And then there's this! A wasp. 126 00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:44,250 In December?! 127 00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,770 You know the exact point it stung me? 128 00:08:46,820 --> 00:08:48,420 In the face? 129 00:08:50,580 --> 00:08:53,320 When you mentioned the reward money. 130 00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:06,210 SIGHS OF RELIEF AND CHUCKLING 131 00:09:06,260 --> 00:09:09,980 - I thought it was him for a moment! - So did I! I nearly shat meself. 132 00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:16,250 - I think you need to reconnect to the land, mate. - How? 133 00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:18,810 I think you need to go back to basics for a while. 134 00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:24,610 - Ditch the CTX, go for something simpler. Swap with Hugh. - VK30?! 135 00:09:24,660 --> 00:09:27,050 You said it yourself, it's a good solid detector. 136 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,840 I don't mind trying the VK30, but... 137 00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:33,850 .. I'm not sure about Hugh using the CTX. 138 00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:38,740 Now, come on, if this is about karma, you've got to do YOUR bit. 139 00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:47,450 - Fine. - Lance Slater? - Stater. - I've been sent down to interview you. 140 00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:51,250 Oh, yeah, we were... expecting you earlier on in the Scout Hut. 141 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:54,450 - Oh. What's it about? - What's what about? 142 00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:58,090 - The article -- what have you done? - Well, don't you know? 143 00:09:58,140 --> 00:10:00,540 Well, it'll be in my notes... 144 00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:05,690 - I've unearthed a gold aestel. - Hm? 145 00:10:05,740 --> 00:10:07,010 It's been acquired by the... 146 00:10:07,060 --> 00:10:11,580 Oh, that's it, the pirate treasure, got it. I'm at the bar, yeah? 147 00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:19,610 - Don't mention the curse. - There is no curse. 148 00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:22,290 Yeah, otherwise they'll latch onto it and make that the story. 149 00:10:22,340 --> 00:10:25,570 - "Local man haunted by sinister presence." - Yeah. 150 00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:27,700 There is no curse. 151 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,900 So... 152 00:10:41,580 --> 00:10:46,490 - Remind me... what was it you found? - A late-Saxon jewelled aestel... 153 00:10:46,540 --> 00:10:49,890 It has to be in language a ten-year-old could understand. 154 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:56,650 - Pardon? - Can't have too many big words. - Er... - Like Saxon. 155 00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:59,130 Oh, er... Well, it's a type of... jewel... 156 00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:00,810 - Gold? - Yeah. 157 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:04,010 - Diamonds? - Garnets and glass. 158 00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:08,570 - I'll put diamonds. How much is it worth? - Um... it's, er... 159 00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:11,650 - Well, the final valuation hasn't come through yet. - Roughly. 160 00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:15,210 - They reckon about 50,000. - You get to keep all that? 161 00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:18,000 Half. It's split with the landowner. 162 00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:20,930 What are you going to buy? 163 00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:23,730 - To buy?! - With the money. Are you going to splash out? 164 00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:27,690 - I haven't thought about it yet. - Could we say holiday? - Um... 165 00:11:27,740 --> 00:11:29,570 Holiday of a lifetime. 166 00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:31,930 - Oh, OK. - Where? 167 00:11:31,980 --> 00:11:36,460 - Er... Dorset. - I'll put Australia. OK, that's great, cheers. 168 00:11:38,860 --> 00:11:41,130 JOURNALIST SMACKS HIS LIPS 169 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,380 Hm. 170 00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:56,820 ENGINE SPLUTTERS 171 00:12:10,780 --> 00:12:13,250 Aaagh! Ohhh! 172 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,050 D'oh! 173 00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:16,460 Agh! 174 00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,220 Ohhh! 175 00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:23,570 All right, Wayne? Jim about? 176 00:12:23,620 --> 00:12:25,450 I need him to look at my car. 177 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:27,090 Jim's dead. 178 00:12:27,140 --> 00:12:28,410 Dead?! 179 00:12:29,420 --> 00:12:30,690 Yeah. 180 00:12:31,540 --> 00:12:33,610 - When? - Couple of weeks back. 181 00:12:33,660 --> 00:12:36,780 - Wh-Why didn't anyone tell me?! - Dunno. 182 00:12:38,140 --> 00:12:40,780 - What did he die of? - Dunno. 183 00:12:42,660 --> 00:12:44,730 There's a new mechanic -- Toni. 184 00:12:44,780 --> 00:12:47,210 - Is he in? - Out there. 185 00:12:47,260 --> 00:12:48,540 Right. 186 00:12:55,380 --> 00:12:57,330 Hello? Tony? 187 00:12:57,380 --> 00:12:59,250 WOMAN: Yep, hello! 188 00:13:02,620 --> 00:13:03,850 With an I. 189 00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:05,810 - Pardon? - It's Toni with an I. 190 00:13:05,860 --> 00:13:10,010 - You were saying it with a Y. - I wasn't! - Yes, you were. 191 00:13:10,060 --> 00:13:12,660 - I'm Lance. - Nice to meet you. 192 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,400 Oh... [HE CHUCKLES] 193 00:13:16,580 --> 00:13:21,610 - Yes, er, it's about my car. TR7? - Is that yours? - Yeah. 194 00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:23,210 I love that car. 195 00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:27,370 Thanks. Thank you. Yeah, er... 196 00:13:27,420 --> 00:13:30,170 - I normally do all the work on it myself. - What's the problem? 197 00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:33,330 - She keeps misfiring. It's got me stumped. - I can have a look now. 198 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:36,250 - There's no hurry for this. - Cheers! 199 00:13:39,380 --> 00:13:42,450 - Haven't seen you around here before. - I usually do nights. 200 00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:45,210 - I'm at college during the day. - Oh! What are you studying? 201 00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:46,890 Agricultural college -- farming. 202 00:13:46,940 --> 00:13:49,370 - You want to be a farmer? - That's the idea. 203 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:52,170 I spend quite a lot of time on farmland myself. 204 00:13:52,220 --> 00:13:54,250 That sounds a bit creepy. 205 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:57,860 - I'm a metal detectorist. - Oh, that's weird! - What? 206 00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:02,130 - I have no idea what one of those is. - Oh... 207 00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:05,130 - I thought you were going to say you were one too! - I know! 208 00:14:05,180 --> 00:14:08,980 That's what I wanted you to think I was going to say. 209 00:14:09,420 --> 00:14:11,770 It... It only happens now and then 210 00:14:11,820 --> 00:14:14,930 and then it mysteriously clears itself up. 211 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:17,370 I was going to talk to Jim about it, but... 212 00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:21,770 I just discovered he's checked out on us, which is bloody inconvenient. 213 00:14:21,820 --> 00:14:23,730 He has ceased to be. 214 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:27,730 He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He... 215 00:14:27,780 --> 00:14:29,650 is an ex-mechanic. 216 00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:33,930 He was your dad, wasn't he? 217 00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:35,380 Yes. 218 00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:38,850 Yes... 219 00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:40,690 I can see that now. 220 00:14:40,740 --> 00:14:42,810 You've got the same... 221 00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:46,660 .. hands... 222 00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:53,650 - Sorry about that. - It's probably one of your carburettors. - You reckon? 223 00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:56,040 Probably. I'll have a look. 224 00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:00,820 - Want a cup of tea? - No, thanks. 225 00:15:03,780 --> 00:15:05,250 Yeah, I'll... 226 00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:07,980 HE MUMBLES 227 00:15:10,020 --> 00:15:13,020 I almost wish I'd never found that jewel. 228 00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:16,770 I wish I could go back to the days before I found gold. 229 00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:19,210 Come on, you don't really believe there is a curse, do you? 230 00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:21,290 Well, something's going on. 231 00:15:21,340 --> 00:15:23,810 I just want to find SOMETHING. 232 00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:26,570 Small, the usual. 233 00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:29,530 Buttons and buckles, the occasional coin. 234 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,180 Here's Hugh. 235 00:15:33,220 --> 00:15:37,930 - So you're really going to do this? Hand over the CTX? - I'm up for it. 236 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:41,090 Anything that gets me out from under this cloud. 237 00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:44,210 Probably do me good to downgrade for a bit. 238 00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:46,890 Prove it's not all about the equipment. 239 00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:50,050 Says Captain Equipment from the 25th century! 240 00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:52,370 Here he is, with his VK30. 241 00:15:52,420 --> 00:15:55,930 - All right? - Ready to try this baby? - Yeah. 242 00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:59,850 All right, you've got to make sure you get a good grip on it, all right? 243 00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,130 Have you got it? 244 00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:03,410 - Yeah. - Don't pull it, don't pull it, don't pull it. 245 00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:07,490 And always use the bungee for support. All right? Have you got it? 246 00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:10,370 - Yeah. - Yeah, cos it's heavier than what you're used to, you see? 247 00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:12,170 - So, have you got it? - Yeah. 248 00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:14,290 All right, I'm going to hand it over to you... 249 00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:15,940 now. 250 00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:21,170 Right, just... just use the factory default settings. 251 00:16:21,220 --> 00:16:22,610 Don't touch any of the buttons, 252 00:16:22,660 --> 00:16:25,170 cos I've got all my specialist settings stored in there. 253 00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:27,210 All right, mates, he knows how to use a detector. 254 00:16:27,260 --> 00:16:29,090 - Let him get on with it. - Yeah, all right. 255 00:16:29,140 --> 00:16:32,180 - Lunch at 12? - OK, then. - See ya. 256 00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:40,570 Hugh? 257 00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:42,930 Take care of her, mate. 258 00:16:42,980 --> 00:16:44,500 OK. 259 00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:36,460 CLICK 260 00:17:40,380 --> 00:17:42,730 Whoo-hoo! 261 00:17:42,780 --> 00:17:46,850 Hey, mate! Come and see what he's found! 262 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,380 LAUGHTER 263 00:17:51,860 --> 00:17:54,930 - Come and have a look, mate. You won't believe it. - What have you got? 264 00:17:54,980 --> 00:17:57,120 It's my first hammered! 265 00:17:59,380 --> 00:18:01,890 Eddie II. 266 00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:03,490 Long Cross. 267 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,340 Congratulations. 268 00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:11,050 - Sorry, Lance. Seems a bit rude. - No, it's not your fault, mate. 269 00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:12,730 It's the curse of the gold. 270 00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:15,170 Come on, you're not really swallowing that crud, are you? 271 00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:18,490 How else do you explain it? Proves it's me, not the detector. 272 00:18:18,540 --> 00:18:21,530 - Like the curse of Tutankhamen. - Exactly! That's well documented. 273 00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:23,010 I can't believe what I'm hearing. 274 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,690 The Egyptian gods were angry that they were making 275 00:18:25,740 --> 00:18:27,050 money from the treasures. 276 00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:29,770 The curse only ended when they returned his mummy to the tomb. 277 00:18:29,820 --> 00:18:33,010 Right, well, we don't have a mummy or a tomb to return it to, so... 278 00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:34,250 Have to get it back. 279 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:35,970 What's that? 280 00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:37,730 Nothing. 281 00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:40,930 - Right, pub? - Yeah. - Good. 282 00:18:40,980 --> 00:18:43,940 First hammered deserves a pint. 283 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:43,170 Are you planning on springing it from its glass case? 284 00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:45,010 What? No! 285 00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:47,410 - I'm joking! - Oh! 286 00:19:47,460 --> 00:19:49,610 Wait, you were, weren't you? 287 00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:51,450 No! 288 00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:54,020 I'm joking. Twice! 289 00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:59,930 - I'm Alan Chub. I was supposed to meet you last week. - Oh, right, yes! 290 00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:02,690 Forgot all about it. You came quite a long way, didn't you? 291 00:20:02,740 --> 00:20:05,680 - Quite a long way, yeah. - Yeah, good. 292 00:20:07,460 --> 00:20:09,690 Well, there it bloody well is, then! 293 00:20:09,740 --> 00:20:13,210 - Yes. - After 1,000 years, Mother Earth's secret unearthed. 294 00:20:13,260 --> 00:20:16,290 - Feels pretty good, doesn't it? - Not really. 295 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:19,690 It just feels like she's got one less secret. 296 00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:22,330 I don't think I was supposed to find it. 297 00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:24,330 All those years under the earth, 298 00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:27,330 end up in a hermetically sealed glass box. 299 00:20:27,380 --> 00:20:29,410 Well, who's to say this is the end? 300 00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:32,450 This could be just another chapter in its story. 301 00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:35,450 It's got a fair few millennia left to go yet. 302 00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,610 Oh, I spoke to the landowner this morning. 303 00:20:38,660 --> 00:20:40,930 He said he's received his half of the reward. 304 00:20:40,980 --> 00:20:43,250 - I'm assuming you've got the same. - What? 305 00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:45,610 No. I don't... I don't know. 306 00:20:45,660 --> 00:20:47,970 - I left before the post arrived. - Ah. 307 00:20:48,020 --> 00:20:53,370 - Well, Mr Roach got a cheque through the post for... - Don't... Don't say! 308 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,490 - Oh! Why not? - Because something bad will happen. 309 00:20:56,540 --> 00:20:59,450 I'll get an electric shock or something will fall on us. 310 00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:00,730 What do you mean? 311 00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:03,610 Every time anyone mentions the money, something bad happens. 312 00:21:03,660 --> 00:21:06,780 Ah! You mean the curse of the gold. 313 00:21:08,180 --> 00:21:09,250 You believe in that? 314 00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:11,850 Look, if you're feeling bad about taking the money, 315 00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:15,170 we're always open to charitable donations here. 316 00:21:15,220 --> 00:21:17,490 I mean, we're far too busy to worry about curses. 317 00:21:17,540 --> 00:21:19,850 Probably half the things in here are cursed anyway. 318 00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:23,450 That's why we keep them hermetically sealed in glass cases -- 319 00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:27,290 to keep the curses in and stop you from stealing things. 320 00:21:27,340 --> 00:21:30,090 - Oh, I wasn't going to... - I'm joking! 321 00:21:30,140 --> 00:21:31,850 - Three times! - Oh! 322 00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:35,620 Seriously, though, if you did want to give something back... 323 00:21:36,860 --> 00:21:38,850 You mean... 324 00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:42,540 - like... like a gift? - A gift, exactly. 325 00:21:44,060 --> 00:21:45,260 Yes! 326 00:21:46,900 --> 00:21:49,540 Yes! Thank you! 327 00:21:52,540 --> 00:21:56,220 - Call my office any time. - Thank you. 328 00:22:50,180 --> 00:22:51,820 COINS CHINK 329 00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:31,050 EERIE WIND SPRINGS UP 330 00:23:31,100 --> 00:23:33,380 BIRDSONG 331 00:23:40,620 --> 00:23:42,820 Blackbird. 332 00:23:56,900 --> 00:23:58,290 Hello? 333 00:23:58,340 --> 00:24:00,210 Hey! 334 00:24:00,260 --> 00:24:02,730 - All right? - Yeah, it's all done. 335 00:24:02,780 --> 00:24:06,130 - It was your head gasket. - Ah, brilliant! 336 00:24:06,180 --> 00:24:07,780 Thanks a lot. 337 00:24:09,860 --> 00:24:11,460 Listen, er... 338 00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:16,090 - About the other day... Sorry, I wasn't thinking. - Why? What happened? 339 00:24:16,140 --> 00:24:18,130 About your dad. 340 00:24:18,180 --> 00:24:20,050 What about him? 341 00:24:20,100 --> 00:24:22,890 I called him an ex-mechanic. 342 00:24:22,940 --> 00:24:24,980 Oh... Yeah. 343 00:24:26,260 --> 00:24:28,400 He wasn't really my dad. 344 00:24:29,860 --> 00:24:32,850 - What? - The old mechanic who died -- Jim, was it? - Yeah. 345 00:24:32,900 --> 00:24:37,420 He wasn't really my dad. I never met him. I was joking. 346 00:24:38,500 --> 00:24:39,900 Joking?! 347 00:24:42,780 --> 00:24:46,170 But I've been kicking myself all week about that! 348 00:24:46,220 --> 00:24:48,610 I actually, literally, kicked myself at one point. 349 00:24:48,660 --> 00:24:51,130 Not hard enough to leave a bruise but quite hard! 350 00:24:51,180 --> 00:24:53,610 It was you who said it was my dad, I just didn't deny it. 351 00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:57,210 You confirmed it! I asked if he was your dad and you said yes. 352 00:24:57,260 --> 00:24:58,650 Did I? 353 00:24:58,700 --> 00:25:00,170 Yes. 354 00:25:00,220 --> 00:25:02,490 Sorry. I couldn't resist. 355 00:25:02,540 --> 00:25:04,500 It's unbelievable! 356 00:25:08,020 --> 00:25:09,820 I fixed your car. 357 00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:14,250 - Thanks a lot. How-How much do I owe you? - It's fine. 358 00:25:14,300 --> 00:25:17,300 You can have that one. Because of the joke. 359 00:25:20,180 --> 00:25:22,370 Do you want a cup of tea? 360 00:25:22,420 --> 00:25:24,020 Go on, then. 361 00:25:30,340 --> 00:25:32,480 - Sugar? - One, please. 362 00:25:49,740 --> 00:25:55,610 - So, flying out tomorrow? - Yep, in the evening. - When are you back? 363 00:25:55,660 --> 00:25:59,890 Probably not till next Christmas if the dig gets more funding. 364 00:25:59,940 --> 00:26:01,890 But I tell you what, mate, you should come out. 365 00:26:01,940 --> 00:26:04,090 - Yeah, I could do, couldn't I? - Absolutely! 366 00:26:04,140 --> 00:26:08,050 You should definitely come out. Stan would like to see you. And Becky. 367 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:11,810 - I might just do that. - Use some of your reward money, splash out. 368 00:26:11,860 --> 00:26:13,660 Fly first class. 369 00:26:14,260 --> 00:26:16,730 Er... No, I... That's all gone. 370 00:26:17,940 --> 00:26:20,890 - Already? What did you spend it on? - Well... 371 00:26:20,940 --> 00:26:23,410 Not spent so much as invested. 372 00:26:25,260 --> 00:26:27,260 Long-term investment. 373 00:26:29,260 --> 00:26:31,600 - BEEPING - Ah! Here we go! 374 00:26:41,380 --> 00:26:43,380 Oh, there! There! 375 00:26:48,180 --> 00:26:53,210 - Bloody hell! - What have you got? - Hammered! - No! - A big 'un! Half groat. 376 00:26:53,260 --> 00:26:57,290 - There you go, then, mate, the curse is lifted! - It's one of the Henrys! 377 00:26:57,340 --> 00:27:02,770 - Which one? - Stand by. Henry VI, 1453. 378 00:27:02,820 --> 00:27:04,650 Long Cross. 379 00:27:04,700 --> 00:27:06,330 No marks on obverse. 380 00:27:06,380 --> 00:27:10,250 Two extra pellets on reverse! Boom! 381 00:27:10,300 --> 00:27:12,100 Check your hole. 382 00:27:14,500 --> 00:27:19,340 - All clear! - Replace plug. - Check! - Pub? 383 00:27:20,540 --> 00:27:22,140 Go on, then. 384 00:27:26,580 --> 00:27:32,020 So... There's this bloke at work... wants to ask this girl out. 385 00:27:33,020 --> 00:27:38,090 - He's been asking me for advice. - Oh, yeah? - Yeah, he's... 386 00:27:38,140 --> 00:27:42,090 he's worried in case she says no and he feels stupid. 387 00:27:42,140 --> 00:27:44,330 What did you advise him? 388 00:27:44,380 --> 00:27:48,290 Well... I told him he should just go for it. What's he got to lose? 389 00:27:48,340 --> 00:27:50,680 Absolutely. Just go for it. 390 00:27:51,820 --> 00:27:54,530 - You think that was good advice I gave him? - Yeah. 391 00:27:54,580 --> 00:27:58,280 If she says no, no big deal. At least he asked her. 392 00:27:59,780 --> 00:28:01,850 So then he was asking... 393 00:28:01,900 --> 00:28:05,770 If she said yes... where he should take her. 394 00:28:05,820 --> 00:28:07,570 Oh, right. What did you say? 395 00:28:07,620 --> 00:28:09,970 Well... I said... 396 00:28:10,020 --> 00:28:14,290 probably just down the pub, first date. Less formal than dinner. 397 00:28:14,340 --> 00:28:18,810 - Sounds like good advice you gave him. - Yeah? - Yeah, I reckon. 398 00:28:18,860 --> 00:28:22,810 I told him, he should just try and be himself. Relax. 399 00:28:22,860 --> 00:28:24,530 Yeah, spot-on. 400 00:28:24,580 --> 00:28:27,120 When is he going to ask her out? 401 00:28:28,420 --> 00:28:32,330 - This Wednesday, I reckon. - Yeah, well, tell him good luck from me. 402 00:28:32,380 --> 00:28:34,500 You don't know him.