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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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It... It's the Waffler!
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I waffle... your head.
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Breakfast any time.
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- Yes!
- Can you please keep it down in there?
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- Sorry, Mom.
- All right.
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- Sorry about that.
- Jesus, Sue, ever hear of a diaphragm?
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Anyway, congratulations.
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00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:43,087
You're the top Plast-A-Ware
neighborhood sales
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- liaison for September!
- Gee, this is so special.
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I haven't won anything since my high
school softball team went to State.
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Oh, my goodness. Look at this.
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What is it?
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- It's a telephone answering machine.
- A what?
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When you're not home, the
machine will answer the phone
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00:01:03,305 --> 00:01:06,059
and let the caller leave
a message on cassette tape.
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00:01:06,142 --> 00:01:08,144
It helps me keep track of my orders.
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00:01:08,228 --> 00:01:11,106
And it's the official
answering machine of NASA.
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- Oh, this must've cost a fortune.
- Well, you earned it.
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- This is so cool.
- Oh, man, it's like we're rich now!
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Well, you're all set.
Now you'll never miss a sales call,
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which could come in handy
because we might have an
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opening soon for a part-time,
level two sales manager.
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Level two?
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00:01:29,582 --> 00:01:31,209
Wow. Really?
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It's not definite yet, but it
would be a couple days a week,
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and we'd pay you... with money.
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That would be wonderful.
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But, oh, of course, I'd
have to ask Frank about it.
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Of course you would. I'll keep my ear
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to the ground and let you
know if the job opens up.
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Who knows, maybe someday
you might drive your own
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lime lady Lincoln!
Oh, your husband seems to like mine.
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Hey, Vic, did you park this
pimpmobile in front of my house?
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Not me, kemo sabe, but that color rocks!
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It's mine, Frank, and
I was just leaving.
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Victor?
Look at you, all grown up.
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Oh, my sweet Jesus, it's Miss Saunders.
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I can't believe my eyes.
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- You two know each other?
- Oh, yeah.
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00:02:18,714 --> 00:02:21,801
Miss Saunders was my lunch
lady at Eisenhower High.
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And he was my special
after-school helper.
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Remember how we "cleaned the kitchen"?
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Yeah, you "fucked the shit outta me."
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Jesus Christ, Vic, show some respect!
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Sorry, neighbor, it's not
me speaking, it's my Chi.
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Bye, Sue.
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Honey, I got some big news for you. Big!
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Gather around, kids!
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Mr. Dunbarton, the
CEO of Mohican Airways,
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awarded your father the "Tie Tack
of Excellence," given only to...
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- Mommy won an answering machine.
- A what?
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Um...
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It's like a robot that answers
your phone. It's nothing, really.
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- It cost 180 bucks.
- Jesus.
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00:03:05,845 --> 00:03:07,680
Mm, I'm sure they buy them in bulk.
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So what were you saying? I want
to hear all about your tie clip.
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Tie tack. It's the highest
award given to only a select f...
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- Wow, this thing has two tapes!
- How do they do that?
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Christ, you people don't even
give a shit, do ya? Let's eat.
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I'm a mockery in my own goddamn house.
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I might as well go
sleep in the basement.
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Well, before you do, I
have a little bit of news.
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Vivian...
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Ah, shit, every time we go to sit down!
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I'll tell you right now
I'm not answering it!
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You don't have to! The machine will.
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Leave a message at the tone.
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Here we go, our first message.
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...what kind of
fucking contraption this is,
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but I'm looking for Frank Murphy!
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Whoever's hearing this,
you tell Frank that his boss,
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Bob Pogo, needs him
back at the airport now!
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His union pals are staging
a goddamn slow-down!
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He promised me he'd put those
baggage donkeys back in their pen!
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00:04:06,822 --> 00:04:08,574
- What a lovely gift, Sue.
- Hello?!
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- Hooray for us.
- You tell him to get here now!
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Not tomorrow,
not ten minutes from now,
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but right goddamn now!
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Fucking eczema everywhere.
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1x04 - "F" Is For Halloween
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- Yep. I love me a good slow-down.
- Man, this is nothing.
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Did I ever tell you about
the Slow-Down of '63?
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We didn't start it till '64.
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What the hell's going on here?
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While you're pulling this little stunt,
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I've got two plane-loads of
drunk Shriners and crippled
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kids in Baggage Claim
screaming at me. Hurry it up!
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Bob, my union brothers
are working just as fast
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as Mohican Airways has responded
to our request for a new contract.
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And to think I once gave
you one of my old suits.
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And I appreciated that.
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I used it to upholster my couch.
And two chairs.
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And with the leftover material,
I made a cover for my pool.
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OK, Bob, I'm here.
What's going on?
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Murphy, you tell these ingrates
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that if they don't stop
this illegal slow-down...
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...I will put them out on the...
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00:06:08,444 --> 00:06:11,364
Oh, God. I'm in
a blood sugar free-fall.
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I gotta get a Ring Ding
or a Pixy Stix.
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Is my foot on the gas pedal?
I got the numbies.
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Here you go.
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I'm going backwards!
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Rosie, come on, man, a slow-down?
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It's just gonna make the company
dig their heels in harder.
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Oh. Well, did Dunbarton tell
you that at the country club
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when you were gargling on his nuts?
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Jesus Christ, it was one football game.
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Come on, I want to help you guys out.
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You want to help?
Tell your buddy Dunbarton this:
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if we don't have a fair contract
by midnight on Christmas Eve,
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the entire membership of
this union will go on strike.
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Christmas is our busiest time,
that'll kill the airline.
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You've got some work to do.
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And you? You just sit on
your ass and do nothing.
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This is good. We can work on
our screenplay for Fuck School.
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According to this book I read,
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somebody's gotta fuck
in the first ten pages.
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Stan Steigerwald misses an easy spare!
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00:07:05,709 --> 00:07:08,087
He just lost the championship!
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Oh-ho-ho!
You piece of shit!
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Dad, I can't concentrate
on my homework when
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- you're screaming at the TV!
- This is how I relax!
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Blowing a shot like that
can drive a man to drink.
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I tell ya, Ern, I don't
like to drink and drive,
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but when I have to, I
drink White House beer.
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White House beer, the one
draft you won't want to dodge!
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Kids, I brought down the costume box.
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- Yay!
- I love Halloween.
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It's like Christmas for kids.
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- That's the one I want.
- I don't care.
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Me and Phillip are gonna
trick-or-treat together.
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Nickel and Pickle.
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- That's queer.
- You're queer!
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God! I'm trying to do better
at school like you want me to,
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and I've got two days to finish
this homework or I flunk out!
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Then I have to go get some
shitty job at the airport
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or sell my body at the bus station.
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I can't think in this goddamn house!
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I want to suck your blood in space.
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00:08:04,226 --> 00:08:06,027
Princess, take that off now.
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00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:08,730
There's no girl astronauts...
or vampires.
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Women will be astronauts
in the future, sweetie.
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- Sue, why do you lie to the girl?
- Frank, I gotta make
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some deliveries. Can you hold
down the fort while I'm gone?
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Yeah, yep, sure.
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Hey! Hey, where you going?
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You're just gonna leave me
alone with these animals?
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- You leave them with me.
- Yeah, but that's our deal.
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You knew what you were getting
into when you let me get into you.
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- Gross!
- We are having a private conversation!
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You're in the front yard!
I can't work out here, either!
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I need a sanctuary for learning!
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You're still going?
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I think you can handle being
a mom for half an hour.
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Ah, Christ.
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- Breakfast anytime!
- Cut the shit!
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All right, brush your
teeth and go to bed.
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It's still light out.
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00:09:00,074 --> 00:09:02,201
We're playing a new game called
"Summer in Alaska."
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00:09:02,284 --> 00:09:04,704
Come on, let's go!
Let's go, go to bed.
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00:09:09,875 --> 00:09:11,919
Oh, man, now you're
just screwing with me!
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Sweet dreams.
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00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,843
Sue, it's Vivian
from Plast-A-Ware.
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00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,845
Can you pick up?
It's important.
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00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,056
Ah, Christ, she's relentless. Shut up.
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00:09:24,139 --> 00:09:26,100
This is her husband.
Sue isn't home.
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00:09:26,183 --> 00:09:28,810
Oh, well, hello. How are you?
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00:09:28,894 --> 00:09:30,479
I'm great. What do you want?
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00:09:30,563 --> 00:09:32,523
Ah, shit, hang on a sec.
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00:09:32,607 --> 00:09:35,817
Well, a part-time job has
opened up at Plast-A-Ware,
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00:09:35,901 --> 00:09:37,737
and I wanted to offer Sue the position.
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Tell Sue to call me with her
answer, which I hope is yes!
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00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:44,251
OK, uh, yeah.
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Uh, she-she did mention that to me,
and it, uh, breaks my heart to tell you,
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but, uh... she decided to turn it down.
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00:09:54,420 --> 00:09:56,547
- Really?
- Afraid so.
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00:09:56,631 --> 00:09:58,132
She said there's no job more important
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00:09:58,215 --> 00:10:00,426
than being a mother to
three beautiful miracles.
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00:10:01,761 --> 00:10:04,232
Get back in your room before
I put you through that fucking wall!
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00:10:05,431 --> 00:10:09,518
Oh. Oh, that's too bad. She
seemed real excited about it.
182
00:10:09,602 --> 00:10:13,564
Yeah, she was just being polite to
an older lady. Her words, not mine.
183
00:10:13,648 --> 00:10:17,276
Hm. So sorry to hear that.
I'll move on to the next candidate.
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00:10:17,359 --> 00:10:19,413
Yeah, you do that. Bye.
185
00:10:19,695 --> 00:10:22,072
Ah, Christ, who put syrup on the phone?
186
00:10:23,073 --> 00:10:24,659
School is now over for the day.
187
00:10:24,742 --> 00:10:26,619
Have a safe and happy Halloween.
188
00:10:26,702 --> 00:10:29,079
I can't wait to start
trick-or-treating!
189
00:10:29,163 --> 00:10:32,791
I hear the Malloys are giving
out full-size candy bars 'cause
190
00:10:32,792 --> 00:10:36,420
last year they gave out dog
biscuits and their house got TP'd.
191
00:10:40,591 --> 00:10:42,134
There's a werewolf!
192
00:10:43,427 --> 00:10:45,771
If I die, tell my mom I touched the soft
193
00:10:45,772 --> 00:10:48,115
spot on my brother's
head when he was a baby.
194
00:10:48,116 --> 00:10:50,142
I think that's why he can't read!
195
00:10:50,225 --> 00:10:53,187
Check it out, I can make
this cat sound like a wolf.
196
00:10:56,357 --> 00:10:58,066
Aw!
197
00:10:58,150 --> 00:11:01,362
That musical kitty was our
ticket outta this shithole.
198
00:11:01,445 --> 00:11:04,031
We was gonna be on Midnight Special.
199
00:11:04,114 --> 00:11:05,991
Oh, I thought we were gonna die
200
00:11:06,074 --> 00:11:09,745
before we got to wear our
Nickel and Pickle costumes.
201
00:11:09,829 --> 00:11:12,544
- Costumes?
- Get lost!
202
00:11:12,579 --> 00:11:15,584
Hey, Jimmy.
I like your costume.
203
00:11:15,668 --> 00:11:17,252
Are you going as a hobo?
204
00:11:17,336 --> 00:11:20,005
These are my Sunday
clothes, dick licker!
205
00:11:20,088 --> 00:11:22,257
They're from the Johnny
Carson collection!
206
00:11:22,341 --> 00:11:24,719
And trick-or-treating is for femmes!
207
00:11:24,802 --> 00:11:26,846
If I catch you two dressing up tonight,
208
00:11:26,928 --> 00:11:30,766
I'll skin you alive and make
your pelts into a comforter
209
00:11:30,850 --> 00:11:33,143
and I'll fuck your mom on it.
210
00:11:33,227 --> 00:11:38,858
And she'll say, "Ooh, that's the
best pelt-fucking I ever got, Jimmy."
211
00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:42,653
- My mom wouldn't do that.
- I will gut you!
212
00:11:42,737 --> 00:11:46,240
Yeah, that's it, run away!
I'll be watching!
213
00:11:49,744 --> 00:11:52,747
I know things are strained between
us since I moved into management,
214
00:11:52,830 --> 00:11:54,977
but I'm still one of you,
and I'm gonna make sure your
215
00:11:54,978 --> 00:11:57,125
best interests are represented
at the contract talks.
216
00:11:57,209 --> 00:12:00,087
- Did Bob Pogo tell you to say that?
- Pogo.
217
00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:02,122
He's so fat, he's gotta
use a garden hose and
218
00:12:02,123 --> 00:12:03,424
a hand-mirror to wipe his ass.
219
00:12:03,507 --> 00:12:07,213
- Eh? Am I right?
- You are not right. He uses extra-soft,
220
00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:10,013
double-ply toilet paper that's
in the executive bathroom,
221
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:13,225
when all we get is the kind that
comes out one square at a time.
222
00:12:13,308 --> 00:12:16,103
And there ain't no divider
between the shitters!
223
00:12:16,186 --> 00:12:19,022
They took a beautiful
thing and made it ugly.
224
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,400
- That sucks!
- OK, OK, OK.
225
00:12:21,483 --> 00:12:24,626
Those are all legitimate grievances.
And I hear you,
226
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:26,822
but the industry is changing
whether we like it or not,
227
00:12:26,906 --> 00:12:29,408
and there has to be
compromises on both sides.
228
00:12:29,491 --> 00:12:30,950
I'm dealing with change in my own life.
229
00:12:31,034 --> 00:12:33,287
For instance, my wife just
got this new answering machine,
230
00:12:33,370 --> 00:12:34,830
and at first I was
afraid of it, but now...
231
00:12:34,914 --> 00:12:37,625
- She got a who?
- It's called an answering machine.
232
00:12:37,708 --> 00:12:40,281
It answers the phone for
you and records messages.
233
00:12:40,332 --> 00:12:42,913
- But my point is...
- You mean there's like a little robot
234
00:12:42,948 --> 00:12:43,881
inside that picks up
the phone and goes...
235
00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:45,758
Aw, man.
236
00:12:45,841 --> 00:12:49,094
You dumbasses, that's not how it works.
Frank, how does it work?
237
00:12:53,849 --> 00:12:57,387
Good, you're home. Help me
put this cat costume on Major.
238
00:12:57,422 --> 00:13:02,107
- He's getting bitey.
- Do it yourself. I'm not going out tonight.
239
00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:05,653
- I don't feel well.
- Mm, your forehead's cool.
240
00:13:05,736 --> 00:13:08,489
Take a little nap. After that,
you'll feel like trick-or-treating.
241
00:13:08,572 --> 00:13:11,366
I think I just grew out of it.
242
00:13:11,450 --> 00:13:14,432
Fellas, we're about
to call the answering
243
00:13:14,433 --> 00:13:16,079
machine the astronauts took to the Moon.
244
00:13:17,247 --> 00:13:19,708
OK, when you hear the
beep, leave me a message.
245
00:13:19,792 --> 00:13:22,318
Hello, there.
246
00:13:22,353 --> 00:13:24,964
You are a shit-eating scab turncoat.
247
00:13:25,046 --> 00:13:26,256
It's for Dad!
248
00:13:28,133 --> 00:13:30,009
Yeah, yeah. It's funny
because we're friends.
249
00:13:30,093 --> 00:13:35,014
OK, OK, so then you hang
up the phone, you call back,
250
00:13:35,098 --> 00:13:38,143
and with this little beepy
thing, we can hear your message.
251
00:13:39,144 --> 00:13:42,189
...put those baggage
donkeys back in their pen!
252
00:13:42,272 --> 00:13:44,399
Oops.
Went back too far.
253
00:13:44,483 --> 00:13:46,986
It, uh, breaks my
heart to tell you, but, uh...
254
00:13:47,068 --> 00:13:49,112
she decided to turn it down.
255
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,072
- Really?
- Afraid so.
256
00:13:51,156 --> 00:13:52,658
She said there's no job more important
257
00:13:52,741 --> 00:13:55,034
than being a mother to
three beautiful miracles.
258
00:13:55,118 --> 00:13:57,663
Wow, it records everything you say.
259
00:13:58,497 --> 00:13:59,955
I am dead.
260
00:14:00,833 --> 00:14:02,878
I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead!
261
00:14:02,918 --> 00:14:05,253
- I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead.
- Mister, I can't find my mommy.
262
00:14:05,337 --> 00:14:07,046
Get the fuck outta my way!
263
00:14:08,340 --> 00:14:10,759
I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead.
264
00:14:10,843 --> 00:14:13,804
I'm home! Honey?
265
00:14:13,888 --> 00:14:15,931
Are you here? 'Cause
we're going out to dinner!
266
00:14:16,015 --> 00:14:17,641
- Oh, boy!
- I'm so sorry to hear that.
267
00:14:17,725 --> 00:14:19,142
I'll move on to the next candidate.
268
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:23,063
Yeah, you do that. Bye.
Ah, Christ, who put syrup on the phone?
269
00:14:25,774 --> 00:14:28,603
So, uh... you listened to it, huh?
270
00:14:34,199 --> 00:14:36,326
OK, OK, you have every
right to be mad at me.
271
00:14:36,410 --> 00:14:38,370
So it's all right if you
need a few minutes to yourself
272
00:14:38,453 --> 00:14:40,205
before you start making dinner.
273
00:14:43,792 --> 00:14:47,081
That's it, yeah! Sure!
Get some air. I understand.
274
00:14:47,116 --> 00:14:50,007
Drive down to the end of the block
and come right back! Of course!
275
00:14:51,967 --> 00:14:55,031
You can't leave me alone with
these kids! I won't survive!
276
00:14:55,846 --> 00:14:57,806
- Ah, Christ.
- Where's Mommy going?
277
00:14:57,890 --> 00:15:00,809
She's supposed to help me
with my Halloween costume.
278
00:15:00,893 --> 00:15:02,310
I-I...
279
00:15:02,394 --> 00:15:04,035
Halloween.
280
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:07,566
Ah, shit, they're coming.
281
00:15:09,359 --> 00:15:10,694
They're coming.
282
00:15:10,778 --> 00:15:12,988
Trick-or-treat!
283
00:15:14,031 --> 00:15:15,919
They're coming!
284
00:15:21,622 --> 00:15:23,958
- Trick-or-treat.
- No!
285
00:15:29,046 --> 00:15:32,061
Just a second!
We're not ready yet!
286
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:36,470
OK, OK, uh, your mom stepped
out for a bit. I am in charge.
287
00:15:36,553 --> 00:15:37,771
But we've got ziti in the oven,
288
00:15:37,772 --> 00:15:39,598
and we're still gonna
have a great Halloween.
289
00:15:40,933 --> 00:15:42,183
Hang on!
290
00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:44,645
Does anybody know where
your mom put the candy?
291
00:15:44,728 --> 00:15:46,021
Beats me.
292
00:15:47,606 --> 00:15:49,566
Daddy, I'm gonna be Mr. Coconut!
293
00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:52,444
No, you are not.
Mr. Coconut is a Mister.
294
00:15:52,527 --> 00:15:55,196
If he's a Mister, why
does he have milk inside?
295
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:58,533
- Uh, that's man milk. Bill, you wear it.
- I don't want it.
296
00:15:58,617 --> 00:16:00,331
Do what you want!
297
00:16:02,871 --> 00:16:04,957
Just a goddamn minute!
298
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:08,293
Son of a bitch!
299
00:16:08,376 --> 00:16:10,170
Where the hell is the candy?
300
00:16:10,253 --> 00:16:12,297
- Where'd Mommy go?
- She's out shopping.
301
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:14,424
- Yeah, for a new husband.
- She is not!
302
00:16:14,508 --> 00:16:16,593
Did she say something to you?
303
00:16:16,677 --> 00:16:20,409
Stupid goddamn kids!
There it is.
304
00:16:21,098 --> 00:16:22,683
Trick-or-treat!
305
00:16:22,766 --> 00:16:24,351
Oh, look at that, Fat Albert.
306
00:16:24,434 --> 00:16:26,227
I'm not wearing a costume.
307
00:16:26,311 --> 00:16:27,938
Well, then you don't
get any fucking candy.
308
00:16:28,022 --> 00:16:29,731
Daddy, the oven made a noise!
309
00:16:29,815 --> 00:16:31,316
All right, I'm coming, I'm coming!
310
00:16:31,399 --> 00:16:32,943
The rest of you, only one candy per kid.
311
00:16:33,027 --> 00:16:34,194
It's an honor system, got it?
312
00:16:34,277 --> 00:16:35,570
Yes, sir.
313
00:16:36,446 --> 00:16:38,568
How dumb is this guy?
314
00:16:39,658 --> 00:16:40,784
Hey, hey! Put it back!
315
00:16:40,868 --> 00:16:44,038
I hope somebody puts
a razor blade in your apple!
316
00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:48,834
Tonight on Colt Luger: the mystery
of the missing mother.
317
00:16:48,917 --> 00:16:50,961
No, no, no, no, no.
Colt Luger is a man.
318
00:16:51,045 --> 00:16:52,838
You are a girl. Take that off.
319
00:16:52,921 --> 00:16:55,674
- Cocksucker.
- What? Where did you hear that?
320
00:16:55,757 --> 00:16:57,458
Oh, right. Hey, when
your mother comes home,
321
00:16:57,459 --> 00:16:58,593
don't tell her I use that word.
322
00:16:58,677 --> 00:17:01,596
- What if she never comes home?
- D'oh, you little cocksucker!
323
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,696
Your brother made me say that!
324
00:17:07,352 --> 00:17:08,353
Trick-or-treat!
325
00:17:08,436 --> 00:17:10,022
Hey, here you go!
326
00:17:10,105 --> 00:17:12,149
Happy Halloween from the Murphalettis.
327
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,401
You're melting my candy!
328
00:17:14,484 --> 00:17:17,278
- You suck!
- Yeah, yeah, arrivederci.
329
00:17:17,362 --> 00:17:21,158
Look, Daddy,
I'm Mr. Holtenwasser.
330
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:24,369
Take that off right now.
Mr. Holtenwasser is not a Nazi.
331
00:17:24,452 --> 00:17:26,246
He's a Satan worshiper.
332
00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:28,373
He is not that either.
He is not scary.
333
00:17:28,456 --> 00:17:32,808
He's just a sad old man whose
family was butchered in the war.
334
00:17:33,003 --> 00:17:35,255
Dad, which president
served the shortest term?
335
00:17:35,338 --> 00:17:38,299
- How should I know?
- It's the last question, I gotta get it.
336
00:17:38,383 --> 00:17:41,220
- That's what the library's for.
- Will you give me a ride?
337
00:17:41,302 --> 00:17:43,552
Kevin, are you blind?
Look at all this shit
338
00:17:43,587 --> 00:17:45,515
I gotta do with your mom gone!
Take your bike!
339
00:17:45,599 --> 00:17:48,518
- Somebody stole my seat!
- Then walk!
340
00:17:48,602 --> 00:17:50,979
I know you got feet because they
came out of your mother first!
341
00:17:51,063 --> 00:17:55,117
- Ah, that's so gross!
- Oh, fuck you, I was there!
342
00:17:55,525 --> 00:17:57,736
Who needs ziti? Dinner is served.
343
00:17:57,819 --> 00:17:59,654
♪ Meet Lord Jesus ♪
344
00:17:59,738 --> 00:18:01,531
Take that off.
We'll both go to hell.
345
00:18:01,615 --> 00:18:04,701
- Can I be Nazi Jesus?
- What is wrong with you?
346
00:18:04,785 --> 00:18:06,954
You said I can't be Mr. Coconut,
347
00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:10,791
- and the girl costumes aren't fun.
- OK. Fine.
348
00:18:10,874 --> 00:18:13,418
If it means that much to
you, you can be a coconut.
349
00:18:13,501 --> 00:18:16,983
- Mr. Coconut.
- Mr. Coconut.
350
00:18:17,018 --> 00:18:17,464
Is that your mother?
351
00:18:17,547 --> 00:18:19,557
How do I look? How do I look?
352
00:18:19,967 --> 00:18:22,343
Heya, Frank.
Did you think I was Sue?
353
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,223
Bill's faking sick and I want candy.
354
00:18:26,265 --> 00:18:28,339
I'm going trick-or-treating now.
355
00:18:29,559 --> 00:18:30,602
OK, get in the car.
356
00:18:30,685 --> 00:18:32,604
I'm gonna take you to an
even better neighborhood.
357
00:18:32,687 --> 00:18:33,855
Yay!
358
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,045
- Where are we going?
- I'll tell you when we get there.
359
00:18:38,526 --> 00:18:41,987
Happy Halloween! Sorry.
360
00:18:54,126 --> 00:18:57,158
Stupid Dad.
If I ever have kids,
361
00:18:57,193 --> 00:18:58,630
I'm gonna drive
'em to the library all the time.
362
00:18:58,713 --> 00:19:01,466
What the fuck? You almost
hit me, you douchebag!
363
00:19:01,549 --> 00:19:04,636
- That's the point!
- Come on up!
364
00:19:04,719 --> 00:19:06,013
Uh, I can't, man.
365
00:19:06,096 --> 00:19:09,461
I... I have to get this
last stupid history question
366
00:19:09,503 --> 00:19:13,162
- or I flunk out.
- Screw that. Join us.
367
00:19:13,645 --> 00:19:15,814
We're doing pumpkin hits!
368
00:19:15,897 --> 00:19:17,607
'Tis the season!
369
00:19:17,691 --> 00:19:21,653
Fuck it. Hey, don't bogart that gourd!
370
00:19:21,736 --> 00:19:23,947
Hey, check it!
Let's go up to that house.
371
00:19:56,021 --> 00:19:59,440
Bonfiglio residence.
Phillip Bonfiglio speaking.
372
00:19:59,524 --> 00:20:04,905
- Hey. Jimmy's a jerk.
- I know. I wish he was dead.
373
00:20:04,988 --> 00:20:08,881
I'm gonna be 12 next summer.
This might be my last
374
00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:11,995
Halloween as a kid and we
can't let some jerk ruin it.
375
00:20:12,079 --> 00:20:13,538
But what can we do?
376
00:20:13,621 --> 00:20:15,498
We should go out and
trick-or-treat anyway.
377
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:17,876
We'll just do a couple streets,
and then we'll run back home.
378
00:20:17,959 --> 00:20:20,503
- What if he sees us?
- He's not gonna see us.
379
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:23,298
It's dark and we'll be
wearing costumes. OK?
380
00:20:23,382 --> 00:20:27,177
- OK. Are you sure?
- Yeah. Get your costume on!
381
00:20:33,474 --> 00:20:36,644
Well, I warned you
about wearing a costume!
382
00:20:38,939 --> 00:20:41,316
Can I go trick-or-treating now?
383
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,111
Pretty soon, sweetheart, but
first we're gonna play a new game.
384
00:20:44,194 --> 00:20:47,536
It's called "Look for cars
that look like Mom's car."
385
00:20:47,571 --> 00:20:50,284
This is worse than "Summer in Alaska."
386
00:20:50,367 --> 00:20:55,163
Look, Jimmy, I just wanted to get a
little trick-or-treating in, that's all.
387
00:20:55,247 --> 00:20:57,832
You understand, right?
388
00:20:57,916 --> 00:21:00,043
Aw, you pickle pussy!
389
00:21:00,127 --> 00:21:04,131
Pickle pussy! Pickle pussy!
390
00:21:04,214 --> 00:21:08,009
Ow! Stop it! Ow!
391
00:21:09,761 --> 00:21:11,012
That hurts!
392
00:21:19,938 --> 00:21:22,107
- Ah!
- Whoo-hoo!
393
00:21:25,068 --> 00:21:29,572
Look at me, I'm Haystacks Calhoun!
394
00:21:30,573 --> 00:21:34,704
Oh, man, he's flat.
I think I killed him!
395
00:21:35,162 --> 00:21:38,165
- There's no blood.
- Must've killed that, too.
396
00:21:40,292 --> 00:21:41,918
He got away!
397
00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:47,048
You better stay in your
house forever, Murphy!
398
00:21:47,132 --> 00:21:51,511
If you ever set foot outside again,
399
00:21:51,594 --> 00:21:55,664
I will fucking mutilate you!
400
00:21:55,890 --> 00:21:57,684
Fucking asshole!
401
00:21:57,767 --> 00:21:59,560
All right, let's go.
402
00:21:59,644 --> 00:22:03,482
- You're the man, Jimmy.
- Oh, I know. It's a lot of pressure.
403
00:22:03,564 --> 00:22:07,068
Daddy, where is this great
trick-or-treat neighborhood?
404
00:22:07,152 --> 00:22:08,903
Ah, it's around here somewhere.
405
00:22:09,654 --> 00:22:10,989
Goddamn it!
406
00:22:11,072 --> 00:22:14,993
Whoa!
Shit, Murph, that was your dad's car!
407
00:22:15,076 --> 00:22:18,079
I know!
I threw it, and then it hit it.
408
00:22:19,580 --> 00:22:23,995
Whoever ruined my paint job is
lucky my wife just left me or I'd...
409
00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:28,047
Has anybody seen her?! Huh?
410
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,470
I gotta get to the stupid
library before it closes.
411
00:22:33,552 --> 00:22:36,597
I still have to answer that
fucking history question.
412
00:22:36,681 --> 00:22:39,726
I know history. History of drugs.
413
00:22:39,809 --> 00:22:41,978
Uh, what's the question?
414
00:22:42,062 --> 00:22:44,772
What president served the shortest term?
415
00:22:44,856 --> 00:22:49,361
- William Henry Harrison, 31 days.
- How the hell do you know that?
416
00:22:49,444 --> 00:22:51,279
It's presidential trivia.
417
00:22:51,363 --> 00:22:55,405
It's on the label of every
bottle of White House beer.
418
00:22:56,868 --> 00:22:59,829
Homework done. I'm a fucking genius.
419
00:22:59,913 --> 00:23:02,581
It's around here somewhere.
420
00:23:02,665 --> 00:23:05,419
This is where
Mommy buys macramé yarn.
421
00:23:05,502 --> 00:23:06,961
Exactly.
422
00:23:07,045 --> 00:23:11,174
- Shit.
- You're not taking me trick-or-treating!
423
00:23:11,258 --> 00:23:14,177
- You're looking for Mommy!
- OK, sweetheart.
424
00:23:14,261 --> 00:23:16,637
Uh, when we find Mommy and
you tell her to forgive me,
425
00:23:16,721 --> 00:23:18,432
then you can go trick-or-treat.
426
00:23:18,515 --> 00:23:20,934
And if it's too late, I'll
go by the grocery store
427
00:23:21,017 --> 00:23:22,727
and I'll get you all
the candy you want, OK?
428
00:23:22,810 --> 00:23:24,521
It's not the same.
429
00:23:24,603 --> 00:23:28,567
You're right, you're right, I know.
Let's just find Mom first.
430
00:23:39,244 --> 00:23:43,323
Well, that's either
your mother or Boog Powell.
431
00:23:51,465 --> 00:23:55,035
Hey. Still mad at me?
432
00:23:56,261 --> 00:23:59,889
OK. Look, I just want you
to know that I know this is,
433
00:23:59,973 --> 00:24:02,142
this is definitely the worst
thing I ever did to you.
434
00:24:02,225 --> 00:24:03,768
Except for that thing in Harrisburg,
435
00:24:03,851 --> 00:24:06,512
which I'm now realizing
I never told you about.
436
00:24:06,547 --> 00:24:09,524
But I'm not apologizing for that,
I'm talking about this.
437
00:24:09,608 --> 00:24:12,715
Look, I got upset. Maybe
I overreacted a little bit
438
00:24:12,716 --> 00:24:16,658
to things changing. And I
just want to say I'm sorry.
439
00:24:19,409 --> 00:24:21,021
Nice rip.
440
00:24:22,496 --> 00:24:25,248
I'm just really, really sorry.
441
00:24:26,124 --> 00:24:29,877
OK?
Does, uh, does that make it better?
442
00:24:29,961 --> 00:24:31,338
We, uh, we good now?
443
00:24:31,421 --> 00:24:33,590
No, Frank. Those are just words.
444
00:24:33,672 --> 00:24:36,510
They don't mean anything
unless you back 'em up.
445
00:24:36,593 --> 00:24:40,013
Look... I love you, and I love the kids,
446
00:24:40,096 --> 00:24:43,475
but I need more... for myself.
447
00:24:43,558 --> 00:24:45,435
- Oh, Jesus.
- What was that?
448
00:24:45,519 --> 00:24:48,229
- Nothing, nothing.
- When Vivian mentioned that job,
449
00:24:48,313 --> 00:24:52,192
my first thought was what
your reaction would be.
450
00:24:52,275 --> 00:24:54,277
I didn't consider what I wanted.
451
00:24:54,361 --> 00:24:59,649
It made me think,
"How did I become this person?"
452
00:24:59,684 --> 00:25:01,284
So I called her tonight
and I took that job.
453
00:25:01,368 --> 00:25:05,500
I start next week, and you
need to be OK with that.
454
00:25:05,580 --> 00:25:08,082
Wow. OK, uh...
455
00:25:08,166 --> 00:25:11,752
- Yes. I'm OK with it.
- Good.
456
00:25:12,146 --> 00:25:14,607
Hi, Bill. I'm glad
you're feeling better.
457
00:25:14,691 --> 00:25:19,792
- It's me, Mommy!
- Maureen? Hi, sweetie.
458
00:25:19,827 --> 00:25:21,489
You let her be Mr. Coconut?
459
00:25:21,572 --> 00:25:24,908
It won't be an easy life for her,
but it's the choice she made.
460
00:25:26,684 --> 00:25:29,037
So, uh... what do you say?
You ready to come home?
461
00:25:29,121 --> 00:25:33,041
Uh, I'll be home soon.
I paid for 300 pitches.
462
00:25:33,225 --> 00:25:37,145
- I was pretty mad at you.
- OK. Sure. I'll see you at home later.
463
00:25:37,229 --> 00:25:38,280
Just keep that elbow up.
464
00:25:38,281 --> 00:25:39,857
You're not getting through
the zone fast enough.
465
00:25:41,358 --> 00:25:44,512
- Just do what you want!
- Thanks, honey.
466
00:25:47,448 --> 00:25:51,953
- Let's go trick-or-treat now.
- I don't want to anymore. I'm hungry.
467
00:25:52,036 --> 00:25:55,957
- Didn't you eat? I made ziti.
- You poured it on everybody's candy.
468
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:59,209
That's right, I did.
I'll make you some cereal.
469
00:26:17,898 --> 00:26:20,915
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~