1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:02,215
Ders, I am the better beatboxer.
2
00:00:02,340 --> 00:00:05,548
Blake, your beatbox is a weak-box.
3
00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:08,465
Oh, Blake,
4
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,467
you gonna let
him talk to you like that?
5
00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:12,686
You better battle back.
6
00:00:12,771 --> 00:00:13,397
- Yeah.
- Now?
7
00:00:13,522 --> 00:00:15,022
- Yep.
- No, no. Not now.
8
00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:16,273
I mean, I have to, like, warm up.
9
00:00:16,392 --> 00:00:17,560
- Okay? See?
- I would need hot tea.
10
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:18,892
- Oh.
- It's just a whole process.
11
00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,571
- Beatbox, Blake!
- Let's go.
12
00:00:20,696 --> 00:00:24,031
Okay, just let me put the record on.
13
00:00:24,116 --> 00:00:26,233
[imitates record scratching]
14
00:00:30,789 --> 00:00:35,659
[beatboxing poorly]
15
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:38,330
Ho, ho, ho!
16
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:40,291
Ders, is it too hot to handle?
17
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:41,582
Hit us with it.
18
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,083
All right, here we go, here we go.
19
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,301
- Okay.
- [imitates record scratching]
20
00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:46,136
Well, I'm about to turn in, kids.
21
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:47,221
What are you gonna do?
22
00:00:47,306 --> 00:00:49,006
We're gonna party, Daddy!
23
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:52,059
P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-party.
P-party, Daddy.
24
00:00:52,144 --> 00:00:54,438
[beatboxing poorly]
Party, Daddy.
25
00:00:54,563 --> 00:00:57,514
[continues beatboxing poorly]
26
00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:00,400
Whoo! Whoo!
27
00:01:00,486 --> 00:01:01,151
It's too hot in here.
28
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:03,439
Blake, hit 'em with it!
29
00:01:03,739 --> 00:01:04,571
Okay.
30
00:01:04,657 --> 00:01:07,693
[imitates electronic music poorly]
31
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:17,751
[both beatboxing poorly]
32
00:01:25,427 --> 00:01:28,589
Oh, oh, that was goddamn loony tunes.
33
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,674
Adam, we're not that good.
34
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:43,744
- Mmm.
- Yeah.
35
00:01:43,829 --> 00:01:45,612
It's a real gummy meat.
36
00:01:45,698 --> 00:01:48,332
I don't like it when the meat
stops being chewy, right?
37
00:01:48,451 --> 00:01:49,583
Because then you get a longer meal.
38
00:01:49,668 --> 00:01:50,962
Because you're chewing.
You don't just swallow.
39
00:01:51,087 --> 00:01:52,196
- Right.
- Yeah.
40
00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,198
You get more bite for your buck.
41
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,590
It's almost like eating
a wet paper towel in a way.
42
00:01:56,675 --> 00:01:57,802
Oh.
Mm-hmm.
43
00:01:57,927 --> 00:01:59,126
All I know, fellas, is...
44
00:01:59,211 --> 00:02:02,880
♪ I love Yoshinoya bowls ♪
45
00:02:02,965 --> 00:02:03,964
Yeah, I mean they're good.
46
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:05,466
- Great song.
- Mm-hmm.
47
00:02:05,551 --> 00:02:07,169
Thanks, man.
I want to pitch it to the--
48
00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:09,136
- What's up, brothers?
- Mm.
49
00:02:09,221 --> 00:02:10,804
- Hey.
- Hey.
50
00:02:10,890 --> 00:02:13,107
It's Cushing.
51
00:02:13,192 --> 00:02:14,718
Cushing Ward.
We used to work here together.
52
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:16,059
Oh, yeah.
53
00:02:16,145 --> 00:02:17,930
- Oh. What's up, dude?
- Wow.
54
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:19,363
I mean, I didn't recognize you.
55
00:02:19,482 --> 00:02:20,614
You've lost a lot of weight,
and your--
56
00:02:20,699 --> 00:02:23,644
Your skin looks fantastic.
It's so shiny.
57
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,062
- You used to look horrible.
- Yeah.
58
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:26,286
Yeah, well, I lost, like, 70 pounds,
59
00:02:26,372 --> 00:02:28,906
started using essential oils,
2-4-7, 3-6-5.
60
00:02:28,991 --> 00:02:31,168
- Sure.
- That's cool.
61
00:02:31,293 --> 00:02:34,572
I can relate because I recently
lost four pounds
62
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:37,576
and started using a loofah
with Old Spice Swagger.
63
00:02:37,701 --> 00:02:39,159
So we're like the same dude.
64
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,512
Yeah, totally. Totally, man.
So what's the deal?
65
00:02:41,637 --> 00:02:43,720
I'm getting, like, a real
"Ballers" vibe from you, man.
66
00:02:43,839 --> 00:02:45,516
You working with athletes?
Is that what that is?
67
00:02:45,641 --> 00:02:47,513
No, I'm still doing
telemarketing for TAC.
68
00:02:47,638 --> 00:02:48,669
Work at the Van Nuys branch.
69
00:02:49,261 --> 00:02:50,761
Just dropped something off for Alice.
70
00:02:50,846 --> 00:02:52,346
What?
71
00:02:52,431 --> 00:02:53,931
You--you're a telemarketer
and you drive a Porsche?
72
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,359
No, you a coke dealer.
73
00:02:55,484 --> 00:02:56,683
That's how you got so skinny, huh?
74
00:02:56,769 --> 00:02:59,363
No, no, no, no, no,
still working at Van Nuys.
75
00:02:59,488 --> 00:03:01,056
Just a whole different world
over there.
76
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:01,948
Huh.
77
00:03:02,073 --> 00:03:06,562
Guy that runs the place, JP,
is just a real leader.
78
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,362
If it wasn't for him,
79
00:03:08,447 --> 00:03:10,441
I'd probably still be living
with a bunch of dudes,
80
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:13,167
smoking weed all day,
eating Yoshinoya,
81
00:03:13,252 --> 00:03:15,919
driving my old shitty car,
not this car.
82
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,838
Yeah, I'm with you, man.
83
00:03:18,519 --> 00:03:20,123
I drive that Range Rover.
84
00:03:20,209 --> 00:03:21,175
That's mine.
That's what I drive.
85
00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:22,593
- I own that car.
- Yep.
86
00:03:22,711 --> 00:03:24,294
- So...
- It's backing away, your car.
87
00:03:24,380 --> 00:03:25,629
Ah, okay, so...
88
00:03:25,714 --> 00:03:27,541
that lady's probably
taking it for a wash, you know?
89
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:28,834
- I'll see you around?
- Yeah.
90
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,127
Be sure and wax it.
91
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:32,137
Hi, Alice.
Question...
92
00:03:32,262 --> 00:03:34,068
Do you have any idea
how much time we waste here
93
00:03:34,193 --> 00:03:35,733
doing dumb-ass beatbox competitions?
94
00:03:35,858 --> 00:03:37,092
She probably doesn't.
95
00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:39,595
Do you even know how many naps
we've taken today?
96
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,228
I'll tell you, Alice.
Three.
97
00:03:41,313 --> 00:03:42,888
And as far as I'm concerned,
that's one too many.
98
00:03:43,013 --> 00:03:43,826
Yeah.
99
00:03:43,951 --> 00:03:45,076
Okay, I don't know
what this is about,
100
00:03:45,201 --> 00:03:46,533
but I do not have time, okay?
101
00:03:46,619 --> 00:03:48,151
I have a very big presentation
coming up now.
102
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:49,938
And there it is right there--
103
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,739
everything that's wrong with you
as a so-called "leader."
104
00:03:52,825 --> 00:03:54,374
- Yeah.
- See that? It was in quotes.
105
00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:57,127
Yeah, and that is why we're
so-called "losers,"
106
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,864
because you don't lead us good, okay?
107
00:03:59,081 --> 00:04:01,081
I'm an idiot 'cause you're a bozo.
108
00:04:01,166 --> 00:04:03,133
- Deep down, I'm a great man.
- Yeah.
109
00:04:03,252 --> 00:04:05,287
And a true pimp playboy for real.
110
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:06,712
But you're don't inspire
that out of us.
111
00:04:06,837 --> 00:04:08,302
In fact, you're always yelling at us,
112
00:04:08,427 --> 00:04:10,167
acting like a total bitch.
113
00:04:10,843 --> 00:04:12,059
Excuse me?
114
00:04:12,144 --> 00:04:13,837
I was, um...
115
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:15,439
"Acting," he said.
116
00:04:15,564 --> 00:04:18,015
- "Acting like a bitch."
- I did say "acting."
117
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:19,516
- Yeah.
- We're not calling you a bitch.
118
00:04:19,602 --> 00:04:23,013
We're saying that things
you do are that of a bitch.
119
00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:25,224
Right, you have bitch-ish ways
about you.
120
00:04:25,441 --> 00:04:26,740
- Bitch-ishness.
- Yeah, bitchy, bitchy.
121
00:04:26,825 --> 00:04:28,442
- Yeah, just a little bit.
- Yeah.
122
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:29,660
- Act. Acting.
- Okay, that is it.
123
00:04:29,778 --> 00:04:31,146
Everybody out now.
124
00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:32,272
That's kind of what
we're talking about.
125
00:04:32,448 --> 00:04:33,774
Unless you want to be fired.
126
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:37,152
No, but how about a transfer
to TAC-Van Nuys?
127
00:04:37,634 --> 00:04:41,043
Yeah, because the boss there
is a true leader, unlike you.
128
00:04:41,168 --> 00:04:43,634
And he's gonna inspire us
to be great men
129
00:04:43,759 --> 00:04:45,411
and true playboy pimps for real.
130
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:48,128
Okay, so I no longer
have to waste valuable time
131
00:04:48,213 --> 00:04:49,665
on stupid shit like this?
132
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,809
- That's right.
- Consider it done.
133
00:04:51,934 --> 00:04:53,634
- You'll start there tomorrow.
- Okay.
134
00:04:53,719 --> 00:04:56,470
Well, now that we're not
working together,
135
00:04:56,555 --> 00:04:58,695
I was hoping that me and you could--
136
00:04:58,820 --> 00:04:59,174
[door slams]
137
00:05:01,531 --> 00:05:02,809
Hello?
138
00:05:03,505 --> 00:05:05,205
Are you sure this is it?
139
00:05:06,416 --> 00:05:08,077
[telephone ringing]
140
00:05:19,044 --> 00:05:20,043
Hello?
141
00:05:20,162 --> 00:05:20,911
Sell me.
142
00:05:20,996 --> 00:05:23,246
Uh, okay, sell you what?
143
00:05:23,332 --> 00:05:25,342
Sell me on each other.
144
00:05:25,467 --> 00:05:29,252
Sell me on why you deserve
to work here.
145
00:05:29,338 --> 00:05:30,754
Well, hi.
146
00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:32,749
You're here with a guy name
Blake Henderson.
147
00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:34,376
This guy's good.
148
00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:37,838
He could--he could sell sand
to Sandra Bullock,
149
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,429
who probably doesn't need sand.
150
00:05:39,515 --> 00:05:41,481
She's probably got a beach house
in Malibu, right?
151
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,052
And if you don't hire him,
you're gonna regret it
152
00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:45,262
for your whole life,
153
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,806
and you'll probably end up
dying of regret cancer,
154
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:50,107
which is a real thing--
my aunt died from it.
155
00:05:50,192 --> 00:05:51,316
She regretted smoking her whole life.
156
00:05:51,441 --> 00:05:52,227
Yeah, yeah.
157
00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:53,187
My good friend,
158
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,398
Adam "The Money Boy" DeMamp,
is a sales shark.
159
00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:57,614
He's a hammerhead.
160
00:05:57,700 --> 00:06:00,836
Oh, no, more like a phone-head
shark, because this dude--
161
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:03,203
it's basically like he has
a phone attached to his head,
162
00:06:03,288 --> 00:06:04,907
and he's circling those sales.
163
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:07,507
But actually,
I want to move the spotlight
164
00:06:07,593 --> 00:06:09,960
over to my dude Anders Holmvik, okay?
165
00:06:10,045 --> 00:06:11,845
And I want to move
the spotlight back to me
166
00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:13,891
because I didn't like that last one.
167
00:06:14,016 --> 00:06:15,226
So let's just do
a couple more about me.
168
00:06:15,351 --> 00:06:16,550
Okay, yeah,
and I'll get back to you--
169
00:06:16,635 --> 00:06:18,552
Stop.
I've made my decision.
170
00:06:18,637 --> 00:06:21,221
And, boys, I'm buying
what you're selling.
171
00:06:21,306 --> 00:06:22,472
All right.
172
00:06:22,558 --> 00:06:26,220
[cheers and applause]
173
00:06:27,396 --> 00:06:28,445
Yeah.
Right on.
174
00:06:35,171 --> 00:06:38,654
You’ve got one week to prove
that you belong here permanently.
175
00:06:39,123 --> 00:06:41,568
Congrats, boys.
Welcome to TAC-Van Nuys,
176
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,946
or as JP here likes to call it...
177
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:46,949
The motherfucking Dough Jo.
178
00:06:47,299 --> 00:06:49,416
All: Dough Jo.
Dough Jo. Dough Jo.
179
00:06:49,501 --> 00:06:51,885
Now, who her wants
a Carl's Jr. sausage, egg,
180
00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:53,455
and cheese biscuit coupon?
181
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:55,540
[all cheering]
182
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:57,125
- That's mine!
- I caught one.
183
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,226
Oh, wow.
Gorgeous photos.
184
00:06:59,311 --> 00:07:00,260
Herb Ritts shoot these?
185
00:07:00,345 --> 00:07:02,979
No, my boy Juan Carlos took these.
186
00:07:03,098 --> 00:07:04,775
Crazy talented.
187
00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:06,733
Shot Brooke Burke for the cover
of "Stuff" magazine.
188
00:07:06,819 --> 00:07:09,186
- Wow.
- I love "Stuff" magazine.
189
00:07:09,271 --> 00:07:10,806
Hey, whoa.
You can't go in there.
190
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,322
That leads to JP's office.
191
00:07:12,441 --> 00:07:15,242
It's off-limits, except for VIPs.
192
00:07:15,327 --> 00:07:16,410
- VIPs.
- VIPs.
193
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:19,696
And these are gonna be your offices.
194
00:07:19,782 --> 00:07:21,292
Wait.
We get our own offices?
195
00:07:21,417 --> 00:07:22,999
TAC-Van Nuys, baby.
196
00:07:23,118 --> 00:07:24,701
Just call down to Shannon,
the office manager.
197
00:07:24,787 --> 00:07:26,286
Let her know what decor you prefer,
198
00:07:26,371 --> 00:07:27,537
and she'll make it happen.
199
00:07:27,623 --> 00:07:28,799
I love decor.
200
00:07:28,924 --> 00:07:31,091
- Yeah!
- All right. Look, my name.
201
00:07:31,176 --> 00:07:33,383
You'll also find new suits
as well as the hair gel
202
00:07:33,508 --> 00:07:35,414
and essential oils
that JP recommends.
203
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:36,183
Get changed.
204
00:07:36,308 --> 00:07:37,433
JP's blasting off a speech in ten.
205
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,293
- Be there!
- Okay!
206
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,086
So here's what we're gonna do.
207
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,780
We're gonna take this week.
208
00:07:42,905 --> 00:07:46,073
We're gonna butt-fuck it
until it dumps Monday!
209
00:07:46,158 --> 00:07:48,408
- [all cheering]
- Fuck, yes!
210
00:07:48,494 --> 00:07:50,160
- Yes!
- Fuck, yes!
211
00:07:50,279 --> 00:07:50,744
- Yes! Whoo!
- Fuck, yes.
212
00:07:50,829 --> 00:07:53,080
Fuck, yeah.
213
00:07:53,165 --> 00:07:54,748
If some old man says to you, "No,"
214
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:55,999
because he's broke
215
00:07:56,118 --> 00:08:00,003
because he spent his money
on expensive heart medication,
216
00:08:00,122 --> 00:08:01,588
what does that mean?
217
00:08:01,674 --> 00:08:03,134
All: Yes.
218
00:08:03,259 --> 00:08:04,758
Because no means...
219
00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:06,343
all: Yes.
220
00:08:06,462 --> 00:08:07,628
I don't know what you're waiting for.
221
00:08:07,713 --> 00:08:09,079
Go, go, go!
222
00:08:09,204 --> 00:08:09,990
Yeah!
223
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,533
Sell these fucking things!
224
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,207
{pub}Listen up.
225
00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:21,969
You crushed it.
226
00:08:22,094 --> 00:08:23,126
200 sales.
227
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,297
- Yes!
- Okay!
228
00:08:25,514 --> 00:08:25,962
- Whoo!
- Yeah, that's right, man.
229
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,931
Van Nuys!
230
00:08:28,016 --> 00:08:30,683
So here's the big surprise.
231
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:33,720
I want 200 more sales
by 8:00 tonight.
232
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:35,474
- [all groan]
- What? Is he serious, dude?
233
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,941
I'm, like, exhausted.
Now he wants us to work late?
234
00:08:38,026 --> 00:08:39,976
If you want to go home
and you want to rip farts
235
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,946
and watch "The Dome,"
the door is right there.
236
00:08:43,031 --> 00:08:45,192
But if you want to be a phone beast
237
00:08:45,367 --> 00:08:46,866
and you want to be rewarded--
that's right, rewarded.
238
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:50,286
We're gonna have Botox shots
flying around the office,
239
00:08:50,372 --> 00:08:53,206
as well as sushi strippers
for all you boys and girls.
240
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:56,161
- [all cheering]
- Whoa!
241
00:08:56,461 --> 00:08:57,961
- Whoo!
- Okay. All right.
242
00:08:58,162 --> 00:09:00,380
It's like "Showdown in Little Tokyo."
243
00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:01,750
- Yes. Yes!
- Yeah. Heck, yeah.
244
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:05,468
If you guys get to 200 sales,
400 total for tonight,
245
00:09:05,554 --> 00:09:07,504
you get to wease the juice
with the Wease-Man himself.
246
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:12,175
Oh! Oh, Pauly Shore!
Oh, Pauly Shore!
247
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,977
Encino-- Oh, my God, man.
248
00:09:14,062 --> 00:09:16,095
Hello, TAC.
249
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,847
Van Nuys guys.
250
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:21,528
Who's ready to motherfucking party?
251
00:09:21,653 --> 00:09:23,353
[all cheering]
252
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:24,898
Me. I am, Pauly.
253
00:09:25,157 --> 00:09:29,036
Me and Pauly are old friends,
and, uh, he lost a bet.
254
00:09:29,161 --> 00:09:30,777
[laughter]
255
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:31,705
This makes us even, JP.
256
00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:33,696
- You son of a bitch.
- Yeah.
257
00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:35,832
Well, if you guys
start working the phones
258
00:09:35,917 --> 00:09:38,952
and you start making
those sales, guess what.
259
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,371
I'll get you on TMZ tonight.
260
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:42,622
- Yes!
- Yeah!
261
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:43,923
- Go, go, go, go, go!
- Okay.
262
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,009
- Yeah.
- Sell, sell, sell.
263
00:09:46,094 --> 00:09:47,587
- 200 more!
- Let's go.
264
00:09:47,762 --> 00:09:49,546
I wish I would have had
some beers in here
265
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,391
or maybe some sake bombs or something
266
00:09:51,516 --> 00:09:53,850
or some of that sushi, man,
267
00:09:53,935 --> 00:09:55,804
or one of those hot
little stripper bitches.
268
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,604
Of course they're great for kids.
269
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,973
How many do you want? Ten?
They're yours.
270
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,234
I mean, the real question is,
271
00:10:01,359 --> 00:10:05,528
do you care about the happiness
of your children?
272
00:10:05,614 --> 00:10:07,363
And that's a yes!
273
00:10:07,449 --> 00:10:10,950
Whoo! Sold, baby!
274
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,569
And just so you know, with
the purchase of this product,
275
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:15,538
you do have a three-year warranty.
276
00:10:15,624 --> 00:10:17,907
Excellent.
You have a nice day too.
277
00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:19,086
Hyuh!
278
00:10:19,211 --> 00:10:21,079
Yah.
279
00:10:21,379 --> 00:10:23,079
Kyo-tasha!
280
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:27,166
Bam, yeah!
I love it! Whoo!
281
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:28,428
We be selling.
282
00:10:28,553 --> 00:10:31,337
I want you to be Sales Team Six!
283
00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:35,268
I want you to be samurai
telemarketing fucking warriors!
284
00:10:35,393 --> 00:10:39,106
I don't care
if your fucking mom dies today!
285
00:10:39,231 --> 00:10:41,274
- [shoes clapping loudly]
- Okay. Ow, that was loud.
286
00:10:41,399 --> 00:10:43,182
I'm sorry.
I couldn't hear.
287
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:48,071
Sold! Ahhh!
I made a sale, girl.
288
00:10:48,156 --> 00:10:50,356
You got three kids.
I say you buy three.
289
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,692
Great.
All right, take care.
290
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,111
We got a sale!
291
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,697
Sir, I'm afraid that's
the best offer I can get you.
292
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:58,581
You know what?
I'm gonna put you on hold
293
00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:00,533
and let you think about that.
294
00:11:00,619 --> 00:11:02,502
Wait, wait.
Ho, ho.
295
00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:04,671
Ah, yep.
How are you?
296
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,956
I don't want to let go, but I have to
297
00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,710
'cause I'm addicted to sales
right now.
298
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,212
You got ten minutes
till judgment day.
299
00:11:11,378 --> 00:11:13,506
Come on, let's move it.
300
00:11:15,190 --> 00:11:17,079
No.
Actually, hold on.
301
00:11:19,187 --> 00:11:20,972
Yeah.
302
00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:23,189
God damn.
303
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:25,310
[blows raspberry]
304
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:27,812
Hang up the phones.
305
00:11:28,643 --> 00:11:30,607
Hang 'em up.
306
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,148
[exhales sharply through nose]
307
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:33,734
Feel good?
308
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,987
- Yeah.
- Are you sore?
309
00:11:36,572 --> 00:11:38,114
'Cause you should be sore.
310
00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:41,201
Because today just butt-fuck
you up the ass!
311
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,369
Butt-fuck!
312
00:11:43,724 --> 00:11:46,623
You're 27 units short
of expectations.
313
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,000
- You kidding me?
- Not good enough!
314
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:52,498
That means that nobody gets
to wease the juice with Pauly!
315
00:11:52,623 --> 00:11:54,589
Wha--Well, can we
at least talk to him?
316
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:55,965
No!
317
00:11:56,547 --> 00:11:58,808
Whoa, whoa. JP! JP!
318
00:11:58,893 --> 00:12:00,687
Well, you heard him.
It's over.
319
00:12:00,812 --> 00:12:02,806
- Go home.
- Don't leave me in here!
320
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:03,981
I'm gonna die!
321
00:12:04,106 --> 00:12:06,559
Ding dong, the Weasel's fucking dead.
322
00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:09,319
That means we might never
get to party with Pauly Shore
323
00:12:09,404 --> 00:12:10,772
and probably join his crew.
324
00:12:11,224 --> 00:12:13,358
Yeah, well, you know,
you heard what JP said.
325
00:12:14,219 --> 00:12:15,193
He said no.
326
00:12:15,686 --> 00:12:18,279
And you know what that means, right?
327
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,073
Halt!
328
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:22,909
What size are those crystal clappers?
329
00:12:23,961 --> 00:12:25,001
You're pretty good at that.
330
00:12:25,086 --> 00:12:27,837
Okay, stripper pole is secure.
331
00:12:27,922 --> 00:12:29,708
All right, hang in there, buddy.
332
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,506
We're gonna get you out
real soon, okay?
333
00:12:31,631 --> 00:12:33,926
Pauly, I'm gonna spin off this bar,
334
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,563
smash into the cage with my heels,
335
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:37,048
and free your ass.
336
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,725
- All right.
- You ready? Cool.
337
00:12:38,850 --> 00:12:40,051
- Yeah.
- Come on.
338
00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:42,679
Whoo! Aaah!
339
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:47,134
Oh, are you okay, Pauly?
Watch out, Adam!
340
00:12:47,259 --> 00:12:49,657
- Pauly, are you all right?
- Pauly, are you all right?
341
00:12:49,782 --> 00:12:52,480
That was amazing.
Whoo!
342
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:55,002
- What the hell? Who did this?
- Yeah, who did this?
343
00:12:55,127 --> 00:12:57,235
Shut up, Cushing.
I just asked that question.
344
00:12:57,401 --> 00:12:59,112
Um, we did.
345
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,614
And why would you ever think
that this would be okay?
346
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,074
Because...
347
00:13:03,836 --> 00:13:04,986
no means yes?
348
00:13:06,251 --> 00:13:07,078
No?
349
00:13:08,267 --> 00:13:12,915
That right there is
why I fucking love you guys!
350
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,085
- You got guts.
- Yeah.
351
00:13:14,251 --> 00:13:15,551
Congratulations.
352
00:13:15,637 --> 00:13:17,464
You get to party with Pauly Shore.
353
00:13:17,639 --> 00:13:18,755
That's cool.
What's he--
354
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:19,632
Oh, wow.
355
00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:23,848
Enjoy your night, and tomorrow
come see me in my office.
356
00:13:23,973 --> 00:13:25,254
- Bye, Pauly.
- Bye, JP.
357
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:29,452
This took balls, heaps of them.
358
00:13:29,577 --> 00:13:30,650
Heaps of balls. Ah!
359
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:33,396
- See you tomorrow, VIPs.
- Yeah!
360
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:36,274
♪ I love my life ♪
361
00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:43,611
{pub}- To Pauly.
- To Pauly.
362
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:46,197
To Pauly.
[laughter]
363
00:13:46,316 --> 00:13:48,827
Ah, breakfast booze, my favorite.
364
00:13:48,952 --> 00:13:51,569
- So your whole office is a sauna?
- That's right.
365
00:13:51,655 --> 00:13:53,371
Nothing better than sitting in a spa
366
00:13:53,490 --> 00:13:54,789
for seven, eight hours a day--
367
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:55,874
good for the skin.
368
00:13:55,992 --> 00:13:58,042
And, uh, the strippers
have been here all night?
369
00:13:58,161 --> 00:13:59,297
Absolutely.
370
00:13:59,496 --> 00:14:01,299
Oxygenates their vaginas.
371
00:14:01,498 --> 00:14:02,914
- They love it.
- Sure.
372
00:14:02,999 --> 00:14:05,216
Hey.
Hey, how are you?
373
00:14:05,335 --> 00:14:06,918
Ah, it's nice in here.
374
00:14:07,003 --> 00:14:09,671
I've been watching
you very closely this week.
375
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,183
I've wanted you to stare at me.
376
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:13,475
And I am very impressed
with what I see,
377
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,977
and we were wondering
if you would like to join us
378
00:14:16,062 --> 00:14:18,229
full-time at TAC-Van Nuys.
379
00:14:18,348 --> 00:14:19,858
- Yes.
- Yes, we would.
380
00:14:19,983 --> 00:14:21,277
- Thank you so much.
- Yes. This is cool.
381
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,362
- Oh! Up top! Oh, man. Awesome.
- Great work.
382
00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:26,488
There are a couple
of, uh, minor details
383
00:14:26,573 --> 00:14:28,618
that we would like
to discuss with you...
384
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,245
- Sure. Yeah.
- Yeah.
385
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:31,246
Alone.
386
00:14:32,076 --> 00:14:34,162
And the girls have to leave
because of this matter?
387
00:14:34,331 --> 00:14:36,292
Yes.
Disappear like your fathers.
388
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,898
- Look at her butt.
- Cool. That's awesome.
389
00:14:39,023 --> 00:14:40,418
- Butts rule.
- They do. They rock.
390
00:14:40,537 --> 00:14:42,754
Honestly, JP,
you are such a great leader,
391
00:14:42,873 --> 00:14:44,467
I would run
through a brick wall for you,
392
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:46,708
which I've actually done before
in my parent's basement.
393
00:14:46,810 --> 00:14:47,942
Okay, shh.
Just listen.
394
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:49,844
Cushing, shut the fuck up,
and you just listen!
395
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,668
You just listen!
396
00:14:51,793 --> 00:14:54,060
You just listen, Cushing.
397
00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:56,301
I'm sure you may have heard
that we are taking over
398
00:14:56,386 --> 00:14:57,519
the San Bernardino
399
00:14:57,604 --> 00:14:59,774
and Diamond Bar branches from TAC.
400
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:02,068
Yeah, yeah.
I think I've read about that.
401
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,653
- I heard about it.
- Yeah.
402
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,644
What does that mean, business-wise?
403
00:15:06,730 --> 00:15:09,574
It means that that staff is...
[imitates blade cutting]
404
00:15:09,699 --> 00:15:12,734
Axed, and corporate
sends us their business.
405
00:15:12,819 --> 00:15:16,204
[laughing]
406
00:15:16,289 --> 00:15:17,906
[laughing]
Laugh, laugh.
407
00:15:17,991 --> 00:15:19,908
[all laugh]
408
00:15:19,993 --> 00:15:20,658
Biz-nass.
409
00:15:20,744 --> 00:15:22,544
And that's fun because, like,
410
00:15:22,629 --> 00:15:25,300
they don't have jobs anymore, right?
411
00:15:26,299 --> 00:15:29,304
My next target is Rancho,
412
00:15:29,753 --> 00:15:32,921
and I cannot wait to see
the look on my ex-wife's face
413
00:15:33,006 --> 00:15:34,100
when I take her down.
414
00:15:35,926 --> 00:15:37,559
You were married to Alice?
415
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:39,898
Worst nine weeks of my entire life.
416
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:43,526
I mean, we were sport-fucking
for a while there
417
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:46,446
because that bitch
likes to ride the ride.
418
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:49,265
- Yep.
- I always thought that.
419
00:15:49,390 --> 00:15:51,272
What I need is for you
to go back there
420
00:15:51,358 --> 00:15:53,536
and steal me
the presentation from Alice
421
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:55,410
before the big meeting today.
422
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:58,041
She's a pretty good writer
for a chick.
423
00:15:58,782 --> 00:16:01,704
If she bombs it and I look great,
424
00:16:01,829 --> 00:16:03,213
takeover inevitable.
425
00:16:05,622 --> 00:16:07,616
- Uh, yeah, we're your guys.
- Yeah, we can do that.
426
00:16:07,741 --> 00:16:08,343
Good. Excellent.
427
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:11,679
Because if you do not do that,
you are fired.
428
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:14,025
- Yeah.
- Duh.
429
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,700
I think my stripper fainted.
430
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,519
Oh, no, no, no, no, not again.
431
00:16:18,685 --> 00:16:20,480
You've never had anyone
die here before, right?
432
00:16:21,471 --> 00:16:22,398
No.
433
00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:25,318
- No means yes. No means yes.
- No means yes.
434
00:16:26,215 --> 00:16:27,269
Got it.
Let's go.
435
00:16:27,394 --> 00:16:28,395
Yeah.
436
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:32,951
Whoa.
What the hell is that?
437
00:16:33,566 --> 00:16:34,494
I think that's us.
438
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,330
Wow. That is really, really horrible.
439
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:37,993
Yeah.
440
00:16:38,118 --> 00:16:40,166
Well, Waymond
painted that for you guys.
441
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,085
He hasn't been the same
since you left.
442
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:45,209
- Hasn't spoken a word.
- He's tuckered out.
443
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,502
I mean, I don't know
how he finds time to take a nap.
444
00:16:47,714 --> 00:16:48,663
What's going on here?
445
00:16:48,748 --> 00:16:50,426
- That's weird.
- The good old days.
446
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:52,553
You really like it better over there?
447
00:16:52,719 --> 00:16:54,002
I mean, it's different, you know?
448
00:16:54,087 --> 00:16:57,100
It's intense, you know, like, agh.
449
00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:58,389
But there's Botox to take care
450
00:16:58,508 --> 00:17:00,019
of the stress wrinkles and sushi.
451
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,146
And it doesn't taste like Yoshinoya.
452
00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:03,928
Well, we'd love
to have you back here,
453
00:17:04,014 --> 00:17:06,067
get the Wicky Wild Boys Crew
back together.
454
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:07,777
Wicky, wicky wild.
455
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,696
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
- Okay.
456
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,555
Okay, I know we were never
in a group with Bill
457
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,656
called the Wicky Wild Boys, but
maybe we should put this back.
458
00:17:14,741 --> 00:17:15,907
Yeah, I know.
459
00:17:16,026 --> 00:17:17,442
I mean, we do this,
those guys get canned.
460
00:17:17,527 --> 00:17:18,079
Right.
461
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,998
Well, well, well...
462
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,041
did you boys get fired already?
463
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:23,876
That happened faster than I thought.
464
00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:25,586
No, it didn't, 'cause we're not.
465
00:17:25,752 --> 00:17:28,679
Yeah, in fact,
we have a new leader now
466
00:17:28,804 --> 00:17:31,050
who's teaching us
how to be great men.
467
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:32,969
In fact, we're amazing men now,
468
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,221
and we're true playboy pimps
for real.
469
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:38,975
Well, it's been amazing
not having you here.
470
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:42,145
In fact, I never realized
how much you weighed us down.
471
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,080
[chuckles]
472
00:17:43,205 --> 00:17:46,190
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a meeting to rock.
473
00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:49,607
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
474
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:50,975
Yeah, we're doing it,
475
00:17:51,061 --> 00:17:52,655
'cause she can't talk to us
like that.
476
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:55,863
You know, she's lucky that she
was married to JP, you know?
477
00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:57,285
How do you let a piece like that go?
478
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:58,616
He's a hot piece of ass, right?
479
00:17:58,735 --> 00:17:59,951
And you know he's hogged out.
480
00:18:00,070 --> 00:18:01,079
You saw the outline
through the towel.
481
00:18:01,204 --> 00:18:03,249
- Oh, I saw it.
- Dude, he is fully hogging.
482
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,710
JP, why don't you kick things off?
483
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:06,919
One second, Mel.
484
00:18:07,772 --> 00:18:09,964
Okay, do we have the flash drive?
485
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:12,890
Yeah, we have the flash drive.
486
00:18:13,015 --> 00:18:13,885
Give her hell.
487
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,720
Or, give them-- give the whole...
488
00:18:16,469 --> 00:18:17,468
- Okay.
- Whoo!
489
00:18:17,587 --> 00:18:20,098
JP! Yeah! Van Nuys!
490
00:18:20,223 --> 00:18:22,090
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Van Nuys in the house.
491
00:18:22,175 --> 00:18:23,327
All right.
492
00:18:23,452 --> 00:18:26,477
So what we have here is...
493
00:18:26,596 --> 00:18:28,816
Whoa.
[chuckles]
494
00:18:29,324 --> 00:18:31,402
Oh, I don't know what this is about.
495
00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:33,457
[chuckles]
Jokes.
496
00:18:33,582 --> 00:18:35,782
Oh.
Oh, fuck.
497
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,283
Oh!
No. Ah, shit.
498
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:40,453
Shit, fuck. Fuck.
499
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:41,621
Did you do this?
500
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,087
No, we didn't.
501
00:18:43,694 --> 00:18:44,829
You did this.
502
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,876
I don't know
what you're talking about.
503
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:49,087
Fine!
504
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:50,755
I put up numbers.
505
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:55,343
I am Sales Team Six!
506
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:58,054
I dare you, fire me.
Fire me!
507
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,144
You're fired.
508
00:18:59,229 --> 00:19:01,599
Cushing will take over Van Nuys.
509
00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:04,310
This is unacceptable on every level.
510
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:06,646
I thought it was good.
Good presentation.
511
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,236
Thanks, everyone.
512
00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:10,876
Great stuff from almost all of you.
513
00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:14,577
Alice, spectacular presentation,
as usual.
514
00:19:14,702 --> 00:19:17,073
Thank you so much, Mel,
and I'll see you next quarter.
515
00:19:17,247 --> 00:19:19,414
- Yeah.
- Okay.
516
00:19:19,499 --> 00:19:20,965
Oh, you boys sneaking out?
517
00:19:21,084 --> 00:19:22,078
- Huh?
- Hmm?
518
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:23,885
I just wanted to take a second
519
00:19:23,970 --> 00:19:26,207
and thank you
for helping me out in there.
520
00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:27,792
What are you talking about?
521
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,424
Oh, you thought it
was just a coincidence
522
00:19:29,509 --> 00:19:31,009
that you ran into Cushing
523
00:19:31,094 --> 00:19:33,005
and he convinced you into a transfer.
524
00:19:33,171 --> 00:19:34,173
Uh-huh.
525
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,509
You knew that JP was gonna
ask us to take your flash drive?
526
00:19:36,683 --> 00:19:38,845
Cushing, my new boyfriend,
527
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,319
gave me the inside scoop a week ago,
528
00:19:41,438 --> 00:19:42,187
and I took it from there.
529
00:19:42,272 --> 00:19:44,449
- Oh!
- That's good.
530
00:19:44,574 --> 00:19:46,441
- You're banging Cushing too?
- Oh, my gosh.
531
00:19:46,526 --> 00:19:48,505
Man, I bet he's hogging out as well.
532
00:19:48,630 --> 00:19:50,759
Yeah, you are roping
in some good ones, huh?
533
00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:53,317
Is it huge?
Like, what does it look--
534
00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:54,457
You know what?
It doesn't matter.
535
00:19:54,582 --> 00:19:55,320
Who's bigger?
536
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:56,821
That was an awesome leadership move.
537
00:19:57,389 --> 00:19:59,454
Honestly, we were wrong about you.
538
00:19:59,539 --> 00:20:00,992
You don't always act like a bitch.
539
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:04,787
Hey, I do not act like a bitch.
540
00:20:06,296 --> 00:20:08,179
I am a bitch.
541
00:20:08,298 --> 00:20:11,966
A bad, bad bitch, you bitch.
542
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,508
{pub}Pretty cool we got our jobs back,
543
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,627
and we finally got time
to smoke some weed on the clock.
544
00:20:21,712 --> 00:20:24,596
Well, the bitch knows
we're here to help, right?
545
00:20:24,715 --> 00:20:26,465
What?
She calls herself a bitch.
546
00:20:26,550 --> 00:20:28,217
- She did.
- So I can say that.
547
00:20:28,302 --> 00:20:30,104
Whoa, whoa. You hear that?
[distant slurping]
548
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:33,272
I think we got another beatboxer
in the office.
549
00:20:33,390 --> 00:20:36,068
Ders, go in there
and then rap over his flow,
550
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:37,859
and I'll FaceTime Pauly.
551
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,194
- Yeah, I'll do that, yeah.
- You got his number!
552
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:39,895
Yes, I did.
553
00:20:39,980 --> 00:20:42,447
[moaning]
554
00:20:42,566 --> 00:20:43,999
- Whoa.
- Oh! Oh! Oh, God!
555
00:20:44,101 --> 00:20:45,161
Oh, uh...
556
00:20:45,402 --> 00:20:46,563
[clears throat]
We weren't, uh...
557
00:20:46,688 --> 00:20:49,488
No, no, uh, we just thought
we heard somebody eat-boxing.
558
00:20:49,613 --> 00:20:50,823
Eat-boxing...
559
00:20:55,708 --> 00:20:56,631
Nice.