1 00:00:00,023 --> 00:00:02,561 Adult Adam: Back in the '80s before we could easily text money 2 00:00:02,586 --> 00:00:04,803 to any charity we wished, we had the world-famous 3 00:00:04,828 --> 00:00:07,991 charity craze that completely swept the entire country. 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,636 Hands across America... It's happening this weekend, 5 00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:13,233 and you will not make coach look bad. 6 00:00:13,258 --> 00:00:14,858 All right, listen up. 7 00:00:14,892 --> 00:00:17,170 This limited-edition, government-issued visor 8 00:00:17,194 --> 00:00:19,229 means that I have been personally appointed 9 00:00:19,263 --> 00:00:21,131 regional captain because I volunteered. 10 00:00:21,165 --> 00:00:24,013 It is my duty to make sure everybody in this town 11 00:00:24,038 --> 00:00:26,303 forms a human chain to stop the homeless. 12 00:00:26,337 --> 00:00:27,837 Questions. 13 00:00:27,871 --> 00:00:29,239 Goldberg. 14 00:00:29,273 --> 00:00:30,873 Isn't it kind of mean to form a chain 15 00:00:30,908 --> 00:00:32,889 and not let the homeless people pass through? 16 00:00:32,914 --> 00:00:34,177 That was my first thought, too, 17 00:00:34,211 --> 00:00:35,778 but it was explained to me that we would be allowing 18 00:00:35,813 --> 00:00:37,493 the homeless to come and go as they please. 19 00:00:37,881 --> 00:00:39,809 - Goldberg again. - Still confused. 20 00:00:39,834 --> 00:00:42,203 - Um, how does holding hands help anyone? - Hello. 21 00:00:42,238 --> 00:00:44,139 Everyone in America is gonna hold hands at once 22 00:00:44,173 --> 00:00:45,639 to show we are symbolically unified 23 00:00:45,673 --> 00:00:47,108 in our fight to end homelessness. 24 00:00:47,142 --> 00:00:48,575 It's beautiful, really. 25 00:00:48,610 --> 00:00:50,177 Hell, I wish I had more than two hands. 26 00:00:50,212 --> 00:00:51,578 Yes, we get it. 27 00:00:51,613 --> 00:00:53,914 You're the socially aware girl. 28 00:00:53,948 --> 00:00:56,550 No reason to showboat about it, other Goldberg. 29 00:00:56,584 --> 00:00:57,651 I'll stop talking. 30 00:00:57,685 --> 00:00:59,953 Now, in the spirit of the event, 31 00:00:59,988 --> 00:01:02,656 let's hit the floor and practice. 32 00:01:02,690 --> 00:01:05,026 [Blows whistle] Let's go! Move it! 33 00:01:05,060 --> 00:01:06,685 Grab and squeeze, people! 34 00:01:06,732 --> 00:01:07,932 Interlace those fingers! 35 00:01:07,967 --> 00:01:09,633 Engage every digit! 36 00:01:09,668 --> 00:01:12,337 I want to see hustle, and I want to see determination! 37 00:01:12,404 --> 00:01:14,405 Yeah! Let me feel it! 38 00:01:14,439 --> 00:01:17,275 There it is... a chain. 39 00:01:23,582 --> 00:01:25,315 ♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪ 40 00:01:25,350 --> 00:01:28,386 ♪ but nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪ 41 00:01:28,420 --> 00:01:31,355 Synced and corrected by Nest0r www.addic7ed.com 42 00:01:31,390 --> 00:01:32,723 ♪ I don't know the future ♪ 43 00:01:32,758 --> 00:01:36,093 ♪ but the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 44 00:01:36,127 --> 00:01:39,062 It was the second Wednesday of the month, 1980-something, 45 00:01:39,097 --> 00:01:40,531 and the Harvest Hop was coming up. 46 00:01:40,565 --> 00:01:43,267 It was the first dance where you had to ask someone. 47 00:01:43,301 --> 00:01:45,607 I mean, seriously, why do I have to wait 48 00:01:45,632 --> 00:01:48,067 for some meathead to ask me to a lame-ass dance? 49 00:01:48,102 --> 00:01:50,575 - Because that's how society works. - Count me out. 50 00:01:50,606 --> 00:01:52,641 Well, I have it on good authority 51 00:01:52,675 --> 00:01:55,276 that Adam Abel is going to ask someone today. 52 00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:57,913 [Scoffs] I could give a crap about that nerd. 53 00:01:57,947 --> 00:01:59,313 [Gasps] He's coming this way. 54 00:01:59,348 --> 00:02:00,882 Go, go, go! 55 00:02:00,917 --> 00:02:02,216 Hey. 56 00:02:02,251 --> 00:02:06,087 Pam, you, um, have a date to the dance and stuff? 57 00:02:06,121 --> 00:02:08,489 Pam: [Chuckles] No. 58 00:02:08,524 --> 00:02:10,725 Are... You okay? 59 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:12,193 Pbht! [Chuckles] 60 00:02:12,227 --> 00:02:13,595 Yeah. [Chuckles] 61 00:02:13,629 --> 00:02:14,963 Why wouldn't I be? 62 00:02:14,997 --> 00:02:16,965 [Sobs] 63 00:02:16,999 --> 00:02:19,935 - You sure you're okay? - No, genius. 64 00:02:19,969 --> 00:02:22,037 I'm like the only girl who didn't get asked. 65 00:02:22,071 --> 00:02:23,504 That's freaking humiliating. 66 00:02:23,539 --> 00:02:27,575 Well, you can always go with your awesome best friend. 67 00:02:27,609 --> 00:02:28,509 Ew. 68 00:02:28,544 --> 00:02:30,278 Stop! It'll be fun. 69 00:02:30,312 --> 00:02:32,012 We can goof on everyone. 70 00:02:32,047 --> 00:02:33,647 Dana can't fly out to go with me. 71 00:02:33,715 --> 00:02:35,903 This way we're not total losers without dates. 72 00:02:35,928 --> 00:02:38,029 Normally, I'd roll my eyes and punch you, 73 00:02:38,064 --> 00:02:40,199 but honestly, I'm desperate, so yes. 74 00:02:40,233 --> 00:02:42,100 Dear god, yes. 75 00:02:42,134 --> 00:02:43,635 Get off me, dork. 76 00:02:43,670 --> 00:02:45,571 You're a complicated person. 77 00:02:45,605 --> 00:02:47,539 Turns out the only good thing 78 00:02:47,574 --> 00:02:49,032 about having a girlfriend in Seattle 79 00:02:49,057 --> 00:02:51,710 was I was completely free to help out a friend. 80 00:02:51,744 --> 00:02:53,345 - [Doorbell rings] - Or not. 81 00:02:53,379 --> 00:02:55,447 - Surprise! - What? Why? 82 00:02:55,481 --> 00:02:56,481 My grandma broke her hip, 83 00:02:56,516 --> 00:02:57,882 so my parents are letting me visit her. 84 00:02:57,917 --> 00:02:59,317 So lucky. 85 00:02:59,351 --> 00:03:01,452 For us... She's bummed. 86 00:03:01,486 --> 00:03:02,821 So we get to go to the dance! 87 00:03:02,855 --> 00:03:04,889 Yeah, about the dance. 88 00:03:04,924 --> 00:03:07,158 Oh, my god. You're not excited. 89 00:03:07,193 --> 00:03:08,593 You're going with someone else? 90 00:03:08,627 --> 00:03:10,328 Are we not us anymore? 91 00:03:10,362 --> 00:03:12,764 No, of course we're us. 92 00:03:12,798 --> 00:03:16,267 I'm going with you, my girlfriend, who I love. 93 00:03:16,301 --> 00:03:17,568 Mm! 94 00:03:17,603 --> 00:03:18,737 I'm so excited. 95 00:03:18,771 --> 00:03:20,571 Me also excited. 96 00:03:20,606 --> 00:03:22,874 As I was reeling from my two dates to the dance, 97 00:03:22,908 --> 00:03:25,944 my mom was reeling after a visit with Virginia Kremp. 98 00:03:25,978 --> 00:03:28,747 Beverly: Is that your family at the flower show again? 99 00:03:28,781 --> 00:03:31,682 "The Inquirer" put your picture in the paper last year. 100 00:03:31,717 --> 00:03:34,485 Oh, well, Charles won top florist again. 101 00:03:34,519 --> 00:03:37,655 His topiary of Rosa Parks was the real star. 102 00:03:37,689 --> 00:03:39,257 Well, all I know is you got another 103 00:03:39,291 --> 00:03:40,991 stunning picture of your whole family. 104 00:03:41,025 --> 00:03:43,827 You're like the freaking Kennedys of Jenkintown. 105 00:03:43,862 --> 00:03:46,430 Please, no, we're not. Do people really say that? 106 00:03:46,465 --> 00:03:50,134 I'd give anything to have just one photo of me and my babies 107 00:03:50,168 --> 00:03:52,370 looking that happy on the front page of the paper. 108 00:03:52,404 --> 00:03:54,572 Well, Barry did make the paper for that time 109 00:03:54,606 --> 00:03:56,173 he got in the fight with the service horse. 110 00:03:56,207 --> 00:03:57,941 He really thought it was his apple. 111 00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,644 - Horses are tricky. - Yeah. 112 00:03:59,678 --> 00:04:00,878 Little did my mom know 113 00:04:00,912 --> 00:04:03,113 her photo op was right around the corner. 114 00:04:03,148 --> 00:04:04,515 Beverly: Oh, my god. 115 00:04:04,549 --> 00:04:07,950 Are you two crafting together? 116 00:04:07,985 --> 00:04:09,118 By choice? 117 00:04:09,153 --> 00:04:11,288 No, no, no, calm down. We're not crafting. 118 00:04:11,322 --> 00:04:13,923 We're just making art with construction paper, 119 00:04:13,957 --> 00:04:15,825 markers, and glitter for public display. 120 00:04:15,859 --> 00:04:17,059 That's crafting. 121 00:04:17,094 --> 00:04:18,495 Fine, we're crafting. 122 00:04:18,529 --> 00:04:20,730 We need to spread the word about hands across America. 123 00:04:20,765 --> 00:04:22,405 Yeah, I don't know about that whole thing. 124 00:04:22,433 --> 00:04:23,900 Hands have germs. 125 00:04:23,934 --> 00:04:26,436 Think of all those colds passing across the country 126 00:04:26,470 --> 00:04:28,004 like a big bacteria highway. 127 00:04:28,038 --> 00:04:29,056 - Ugh. - Whatever. 128 00:04:29,087 --> 00:04:31,422 I'm doing it because it'll help people in real need. 129 00:04:31,447 --> 00:04:34,249 And I'm doing it for the celebrity contact. 130 00:04:34,283 --> 00:04:36,217 Hoping to hold hands with Heather Locklear. 131 00:04:36,252 --> 00:04:37,657 No... Alyssa Milano. 132 00:04:37,682 --> 00:04:40,221 No... K.I.T.T., the car from "Knight Rider." 133 00:04:40,255 --> 00:04:41,988 You can't hold hands with a car, idiot. 134 00:04:42,022 --> 00:04:43,657 - I'll hold the antenna. - Wait a minute. 135 00:04:43,691 --> 00:04:45,158 Celebrities are doing this? 136 00:04:45,183 --> 00:04:48,586 Yeah, downtown Philly actually nabbed Scott Baio. 137 00:04:48,630 --> 00:04:50,430 From "Happy Days" and "Chachi In Charge"? 138 00:04:50,465 --> 00:04:52,366 Don't forget "Zapped!" Where he uses 139 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,368 his magic powers to lift girls' dresses. 140 00:04:54,402 --> 00:04:55,535 Turn that off. 141 00:04:55,570 --> 00:04:57,771 Point is this thing's gonna be a huge deal. 142 00:04:57,805 --> 00:04:58,772 It's literally going to be 143 00:04:58,806 --> 00:05:00,173 on the front page of all the papers. 144 00:05:00,207 --> 00:05:02,609 You mean like newspapers? 145 00:05:02,644 --> 00:05:05,979 Like the kind that take pictures of moms and their kids? 146 00:05:06,013 --> 00:05:06,542 What? 147 00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:09,549 ♪ 148 00:05:09,584 --> 00:05:11,151 What happened? 149 00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:13,953 - I want to help with hands across America. - Okay. 150 00:05:13,988 --> 00:05:16,922 And by help, I mean push you aside and take over entirely. 151 00:05:16,956 --> 00:05:18,391 - I said okay. - Really? 152 00:05:18,425 --> 00:05:19,425 I'm in way over my head. 153 00:05:19,459 --> 00:05:21,363 They want me to organize, make posters. 154 00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:22,689 They gave me a pen and a ledger. 155 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:23,794 I don't know what to do with them. 156 00:05:23,819 --> 00:05:25,044 To record the donations. 157 00:05:25,076 --> 00:05:26,210 Oh, no, I... 158 00:05:26,244 --> 00:05:28,546 I've been putting everybody's cash in a bag. 159 00:05:28,580 --> 00:05:30,315 Well, there must be thousands there. 160 00:05:30,349 --> 00:05:32,550 I don't know. I'm a gym teacher, I'm not a count teacher. 161 00:05:32,584 --> 00:05:33,415 You mean a math teacher? 162 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,353 I don't know. I'm not an English teacher, either. 163 00:05:35,387 --> 00:05:37,021 Did you at least get us a celebrity? 164 00:05:37,055 --> 00:05:39,557 No, th... we can't compete with Philly. 165 00:05:39,591 --> 00:05:41,726 Philly is the Paris of Pennsylvania. 166 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,161 They got Baio. We got Jack Squat. 167 00:05:44,196 --> 00:05:45,596 You should go rest. 168 00:05:45,631 --> 00:05:47,064 As my mom was saving Coach Mellor, 169 00:05:47,098 --> 00:05:49,700 I was racing for the one man who always rescued me. 170 00:05:49,734 --> 00:05:50,934 - Dad. - Yes. 171 00:05:50,968 --> 00:05:52,268 I need help. Where's Pops? 172 00:05:52,303 --> 00:05:54,070 There he is. Thank god. 173 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,039 Pops, I have two dates to the dance. 174 00:05:56,073 --> 00:05:57,307 Way to go, kiddo! 175 00:05:57,342 --> 00:05:58,508 No, it's a bad thing. 176 00:05:58,543 --> 00:05:59,743 Oh, yeah, it is. 177 00:05:59,777 --> 00:06:01,645 No, I agreed to go with Emmy Mirsky 178 00:06:01,679 --> 00:06:03,513 to cheer her up, but Dana flew in. 179 00:06:03,548 --> 00:06:06,015 Then just tell Emmy you're going with Dana. 180 00:06:06,050 --> 00:06:08,017 - She'll understand. - No, she won't. 181 00:06:08,052 --> 00:06:11,254 A guy dissed her, and I saw her cry for the first time ever. 182 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,390 Then just tell Dana you can't go with her. 183 00:06:13,424 --> 00:06:15,359 She'll freak out if I go with another girl, 184 00:06:15,393 --> 00:06:16,660 even if it is Emmy. 185 00:06:16,694 --> 00:06:19,128 Then take them both. They never even have to know. 186 00:06:19,163 --> 00:06:20,997 Like Peter did on "The Brady Bunch"? 187 00:06:21,031 --> 00:06:24,600 I Brady-bunched two ladies at a U.S.O. Dance back in '41. 188 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,769 Never felt so alive. 189 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:27,803 Stop. 190 00:06:27,838 --> 00:06:29,973 Nobody's Brady-Bunching anyone. 191 00:06:30,007 --> 00:06:31,107 You want some real advice? 192 00:06:32,009 --> 00:06:33,209 Don't be a moron. 193 00:06:33,244 --> 00:06:34,277 Seriously? 194 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:35,715 That's your advice for everything. 195 00:06:35,740 --> 00:06:37,113 It applies to everything. 196 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,787 I think I'm gonna stick with Pops' advice. 197 00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:42,919 All right, time for a TV master class 198 00:06:42,953 --> 00:06:45,021 on how to juggle two dates at once. 199 00:06:45,055 --> 00:06:47,123 First up, the gold standard... 200 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:49,259 "The Brady Bunch," and I'm Peter. 201 00:06:49,293 --> 00:06:51,527 Because your weird voice cracks just like his? 202 00:06:51,561 --> 00:06:53,462 Despite that shot at my self-esteem, 203 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,630 I knew with the help of my trusty TV shows, 204 00:06:55,664 --> 00:06:57,565 I could pull off two dates at once. 205 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:00,168 Oh, no! Peter Brady, you blew it. 206 00:07:00,203 --> 00:07:01,336 Or so I thought. 207 00:07:01,371 --> 00:07:03,906 No! Alex P. Keaton. 208 00:07:03,940 --> 00:07:05,107 Each one was worse than the next. 209 00:07:05,141 --> 00:07:06,474 Jack's screwed! 210 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,676 Both women are at the Regal Beagle. 211 00:07:08,711 --> 00:07:10,913 As we watched the same plot done on every show, 212 00:07:10,947 --> 00:07:12,514 it became abundantly clear. 213 00:07:12,548 --> 00:07:14,349 Dude, it can't be done. 214 00:07:14,384 --> 00:07:16,851 Shut up, Dave Kim! 215 00:07:16,886 --> 00:07:18,320 I see that. 216 00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:21,089 As my universe was crumbling, my mom saw a world 217 00:07:21,124 --> 00:07:24,553 where she finally got a photo in the paper with her kids. 218 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,279 Yo, yo, yo, volunteers. 219 00:07:26,347 --> 00:07:28,593 Who's ready to get this homeless party started? 220 00:07:28,625 --> 00:07:30,225 Mom, what are you doing here? 221 00:07:30,259 --> 00:07:32,193 You're looking at the new regional captain 222 00:07:32,228 --> 00:07:34,729 - for Hands Across America. - What happened to Coach Mellor? 223 00:07:34,763 --> 00:07:36,898 He cracked under the pressure, but don't worry. 224 00:07:36,933 --> 00:07:37,999 Mama's here. 225 00:07:38,034 --> 00:07:39,767 I know how important this is for you. 226 00:07:39,802 --> 00:07:41,913 - Yeah, I'm out. - Me too. Shut it down, people. 227 00:07:41,938 --> 00:07:43,139 [All groan] 228 00:07:43,173 --> 00:07:44,573 Whoa, hold up. 229 00:07:44,607 --> 00:07:46,442 Now that I'm involved, you're just gonna bail? 230 00:07:46,510 --> 00:07:48,600 Nothing personal... you just make fun things suck. 231 00:07:48,632 --> 00:07:49,577 Well, that... 232 00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:52,335 That is a shame because this lady right here 233 00:07:52,369 --> 00:07:54,904 just got Scott Baio 234 00:07:54,939 --> 00:07:58,241 to ditch Philly and come to J-town. 235 00:07:58,275 --> 00:08:00,343 Dude, we got Fonzie's cousin. 236 00:08:00,377 --> 00:08:01,444 [All cheering] 237 00:08:01,478 --> 00:08:02,945 No, everyone stop. 238 00:08:02,979 --> 00:08:04,814 Mom, did you really get Scott Baio? 239 00:08:04,848 --> 00:08:07,883 I literally just got off the phone with Scotty B. 240 00:08:07,917 --> 00:08:09,785 He told me to call him Scotty B. 241 00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:13,559 And he agreed to come here and hold hands with me. 242 00:08:13,584 --> 00:08:15,591 I call the one available hand. 243 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:16,759 No way... The hand is mine! 244 00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:19,061 Okay, this is my future husband. Why do you care? 245 00:08:19,095 --> 00:08:20,830 'Cause he's my future best bro. 246 00:08:20,864 --> 00:08:21,964 And once Scott meets me, 247 00:08:21,998 --> 00:08:24,132 he'll ditch Willie Ames and fly me to Hollywood 248 00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:26,201 so I never have to talk to you people again. 249 00:08:26,236 --> 00:08:28,804 This is bullcrap... just 'cause your crazy-hot mom is in charge, 250 00:08:28,839 --> 00:08:30,205 you guys both get dibs? 251 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,307 Please, Mrs. Goldberg, pick me. 252 00:08:32,342 --> 00:08:34,643 I really need a win... So bad. 253 00:08:34,678 --> 00:08:36,746 - No, I want Scott's hand in my hand. - Mom, you have seen his poster in my room. 254 00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:37,915 I bet my hands are cooler than yours if we held hem together. 255 00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:38,813 [Indistinct arguing] 256 00:08:38,848 --> 00:08:41,049 Mrs. Goldberg... no, stop fighting. Stop fighting. 257 00:08:41,084 --> 00:08:42,351 I'll sleep on it, okay? 258 00:08:42,385 --> 00:08:43,852 I'll sleep on it, all right? 259 00:08:43,887 --> 00:08:45,921 But now I have to immediately leave... 260 00:08:45,955 --> 00:08:49,624 Not to call Scott Baio 'cause I've done it. 261 00:08:49,658 --> 00:08:51,726 All right, I just... I have to go and do a thing. 262 00:08:52,523 --> 00:08:53,623 The dance was only a day away, 263 00:08:53,657 --> 00:08:56,138 and I realized my plan was a dead end. 264 00:08:56,163 --> 00:08:59,060 Pops, I watched all the shows... Two dates never works. 265 00:08:59,085 --> 00:09:00,388 Not even on "Cheers"? 266 00:09:00,413 --> 00:09:03,732 Cliff had a date with Carla and Diane to the postman's ball. 267 00:09:03,773 --> 00:09:05,006 It was a total junk show. 268 00:09:05,031 --> 00:09:07,609 See, I'm not a fan of today's comedy. 269 00:09:07,643 --> 00:09:09,009 Now, "The Honeymooners"... 270 00:09:09,044 --> 00:09:10,958 I don't need a trip down memory lane. 271 00:09:10,983 --> 00:09:11,979 I need help, 272 00:09:12,013 --> 00:09:14,549 and you said you pulled off the perfect Brady Bunch. 273 00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:17,411 - How? - Actually, the women kind of invited me. 274 00:09:17,436 --> 00:09:18,937 We've got some advice for you. 275 00:09:18,972 --> 00:09:20,460 Yeah, yeah, don't be a moron. 276 00:09:20,468 --> 00:09:22,636 If you know the advice, why aren't you following it? 277 00:09:22,670 --> 00:09:25,439 Don't worry, kiddo. Pops always has a plan. 278 00:09:25,473 --> 00:09:27,674 With my help, you'll be the first kid 279 00:09:27,708 --> 00:09:30,076 in history to juggle two dates at a dance. 280 00:09:30,110 --> 00:09:32,211 Well, I did juggle three grapes at camp. 281 00:09:32,246 --> 00:09:33,747 You know who's not a moron? 282 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,449 You're not a moron. 283 00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:36,850 You're not a moron. 284 00:09:36,918 --> 00:09:38,484 [High-pitched] You're not a moron. 285 00:09:38,518 --> 00:09:39,852 No. [Babbles] 286 00:09:39,886 --> 00:09:41,988 As Pops was convincing me I could pull this off, 287 00:09:42,022 --> 00:09:44,257 Erica and Barry were ready to convince our mom 288 00:09:44,291 --> 00:09:46,392 that they were worthy of Baio's hand. 289 00:09:46,427 --> 00:09:47,994 Erica, what's going on? 290 00:09:48,028 --> 00:09:50,263 Bad dream, Mama. Can we do spoonies? 291 00:09:50,297 --> 00:09:51,965 Oh, my god, spoonies? 292 00:09:51,999 --> 00:09:54,834 Get on in the warm spot, girl. 293 00:09:54,868 --> 00:09:57,236 [Chuckles] 294 00:09:57,271 --> 00:09:59,038 - This is so nice. - Hm. 295 00:09:59,073 --> 00:10:02,075 Speaking of, um, any thoughts about Scott Baio? 296 00:10:02,109 --> 00:10:04,444 Uh, yeah, about that... 297 00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:05,811 Knock, knock. 298 00:10:05,846 --> 00:10:07,080 Who wants brekky in bed? 299 00:10:07,114 --> 00:10:09,282 [Gasps] You made Mama breakfast? 300 00:10:09,316 --> 00:10:10,916 Nobody cares because I'm spending 301 00:10:10,951 --> 00:10:13,085 - the whole day with my favorite lady. - You are? 302 00:10:13,119 --> 00:10:15,620 Well, Mom and I are spending the entire weekend together. 303 00:10:15,621 --> 00:10:16,421 We are? 304 00:10:16,456 --> 00:10:18,256 - Stop doing what you're doing. - You stop. 305 00:10:18,291 --> 00:10:19,724 You're only giving spoons 306 00:10:19,758 --> 00:10:21,226 so she'll pick you to hold Baio's hand. 307 00:10:21,260 --> 00:10:23,695 Oh, and you're not? What's with the stupid sweater? 308 00:10:23,729 --> 00:10:25,030 My favorite sweater? 309 00:10:25,064 --> 00:10:26,898 Mommy made it for my 12th birthday. 310 00:10:26,932 --> 00:10:28,400 I feel so handsome, Mommy. 311 00:10:28,434 --> 00:10:30,502 You look so handsome, Schmoofers. 312 00:10:30,536 --> 00:10:31,636 She's the sun. 313 00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:33,538 - I'm the moon. - You're the moon! 314 00:10:33,572 --> 00:10:36,475 Okay, you want to go to war? Let's go. 315 00:10:36,509 --> 00:10:40,178 Mommy, I want you to pick out a guy for me to date and marry. 316 00:10:40,213 --> 00:10:42,580 - That is my dream. - No, no, no! Not so fast. 317 00:10:42,615 --> 00:10:44,349 I've been thinking about it, and I'm gonna let you 318 00:10:44,384 --> 00:10:47,952 dance with me before I dance with my bride at my wedding. 319 00:10:47,987 --> 00:10:50,421 That is also my dream, but I also get to wear white. 320 00:10:50,455 --> 00:10:52,056 - That's non-negotiable. - Yes! 321 00:10:52,090 --> 00:10:54,158 I'm gonna have five kids, and I want you to babysit 322 00:10:54,192 --> 00:10:55,660 every night and tell me what to do. 323 00:10:55,694 --> 00:10:56,961 You will live with me forever. 324 00:10:56,996 --> 00:10:59,597 I will build a mother suite off the master bedroom 325 00:10:59,632 --> 00:11:01,298 even if it severely damages my marriage. 326 00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:02,445 [Gasps] 327 00:11:02,470 --> 00:11:04,268 I'm out. It's too rich for my blood. 328 00:11:04,302 --> 00:11:05,803 Yes! I win! 329 00:11:05,838 --> 00:11:07,939 Oh, no, what have I done? 330 00:11:07,973 --> 00:11:09,841 Future Barry's problem. 331 00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:12,810 Despite herself, my mom loved her kids fighting over her. 332 00:11:12,845 --> 00:11:15,446 Just one problem... she was now pulling a classic 333 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,149 - Baio and Switch and needed a way out. - Careful. 334 00:11:18,183 --> 00:11:20,151 [Up-tempo music playing] 335 00:11:20,785 --> 00:11:22,920 - We need to talk. - Whoa, not so fast. 336 00:11:22,954 --> 00:11:24,821 That was a non-sanctioned sit-down. 337 00:11:24,856 --> 00:11:26,823 - On your feet. - Please, I need your help. 338 00:11:26,858 --> 00:11:28,692 This whole thing has gotten away from me. 339 00:11:28,726 --> 00:11:31,462 No, no, Coach has washed his hands of Hands Across America. 340 00:11:31,496 --> 00:11:34,631 Look, all I wanted was one photo op with my kids. 341 00:11:34,666 --> 00:11:37,301 Now they're fighting over my love to get to Baio. 342 00:11:37,335 --> 00:11:40,671 That feather-haired man-boy is making all my dreams come true. 343 00:11:40,705 --> 00:11:42,706 That's why we need to get him here instead of Philly. 344 00:11:42,740 --> 00:11:44,442 Give up on your Baio dreams. 345 00:11:44,476 --> 00:11:46,410 - It ain't happening. - It has to happen. 346 00:11:46,445 --> 00:11:48,179 I told the whole school he's coming here. 347 00:11:48,213 --> 00:11:49,346 What? Why would you do that? 348 00:11:49,381 --> 00:11:51,748 I thought I could work my Yenta magic, 349 00:11:51,783 --> 00:11:53,350 but I've been calling for three days. 350 00:11:53,385 --> 00:11:55,886 - Baio's people are icing me out. - Well, how the hell can I help? 351 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:58,455 Come on, you must have at least one celebrity lead. 352 00:11:58,489 --> 00:12:01,558 No, I'm a gym teacher. I rotate two pairs of shorts. 353 00:12:01,593 --> 00:12:03,526 Then I guess it's over. 354 00:12:03,561 --> 00:12:05,361 Unless you got out and you get yourself 355 00:12:05,396 --> 00:12:07,097 a celebrity that's better than Baio. 356 00:12:07,131 --> 00:12:09,165 Better than Baio? Is that possible? 357 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,534 It is with one of my patented game-day pep talks. 358 00:12:11,569 --> 00:12:12,703 Now, listen up. 359 00:12:12,737 --> 00:12:14,671 It's the fourth quarter. You're down by 1 point. 360 00:12:14,706 --> 00:12:17,007 Who's gonna run the option and take it to the big house? 361 00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:18,475 Run the what? 362 00:12:18,509 --> 00:12:19,977 All right. 363 00:12:20,011 --> 00:12:21,111 It's 11:00 P.M. 364 00:12:21,145 --> 00:12:22,679 You just got off a flight with your family. 365 00:12:22,714 --> 00:12:24,081 They're crabby. They're hungry. 366 00:12:24,115 --> 00:12:25,381 You look in the cupboard. 367 00:12:25,416 --> 00:12:27,684 Oh, all you got is one can of tuna. 368 00:12:27,719 --> 00:12:30,152 But it doesn't matter 'cause there's only one person 369 00:12:30,186 --> 00:12:32,588 that can feed those babies tuna 370 00:12:32,623 --> 00:12:34,991 and make sure they go to sleep with full tum-tums. 371 00:12:35,025 --> 00:12:36,792 - Me! - You're damn right it's you. 372 00:12:36,827 --> 00:12:39,261 Now go out and get yourself the biggest celebrity 373 00:12:39,295 --> 00:12:41,631 this god-forsaken town's ever seen. 374 00:12:41,665 --> 00:12:42,665 [Up-tempo music playing] 375 00:12:42,699 --> 00:12:43,733 Oh. 376 00:12:43,876 --> 00:12:45,276 Sorry. My bad, little ones. 377 00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:46,377 You guys okay? 378 00:12:46,411 --> 00:12:47,511 All right, let's take a breather. 379 00:12:47,546 --> 00:12:48,713 Who wants water? 380 00:12:49,949 --> 00:12:52,150 That night, I was also on a mission... 381 00:12:52,184 --> 00:12:54,919 Make a foolproof plan to bring two dates to the same dance. 382 00:12:54,954 --> 00:12:57,321 All right, boys, let's run this again. 383 00:12:57,356 --> 00:12:58,289 What are we looking at? 384 00:12:58,323 --> 00:13:00,367 The gym is 94x50 feet. 385 00:13:00,392 --> 00:13:02,961 That leave us with two large zones to keep the girls apart. 386 00:13:02,995 --> 00:13:05,328 Check. Let's talk song list. 387 00:13:05,363 --> 00:13:07,831 We're looking at 16 songs lasting 2 hours and 6 minutes 388 00:13:07,866 --> 00:13:08,966 including "The Time Warp." 389 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,101 Okay, let's do a dry run. Adam. 390 00:13:11,136 --> 00:13:12,903 The terrordrome is our battlefield. 391 00:13:12,937 --> 00:13:14,604 I'm Michelangelo. 392 00:13:14,639 --> 00:13:16,774 Dana is Princess Leia. 393 00:13:16,808 --> 00:13:18,708 Emmy's the hulk. 394 00:13:18,743 --> 00:13:20,010 Copy... song 1. 395 00:13:20,044 --> 00:13:21,444 "Like a Prayer", Madonna. 396 00:13:21,479 --> 00:13:23,280 Dana and I dance, then I say I got 397 00:13:23,314 --> 00:13:24,982 to hit the bathroom and run to Emmy. 398 00:13:25,016 --> 00:13:26,049 Song 2. 399 00:13:26,084 --> 00:13:27,584 "Careless Whisper," wham! 400 00:13:27,618 --> 00:13:29,286 I tell Emmy I'll grab her punch 401 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,288 then run back to Dana for a slow dance. 402 00:13:31,322 --> 00:13:34,124 I interrupt and pretend I lost my contact lens. 403 00:13:34,159 --> 00:13:37,226 I leave to help Dave Kim then book it back to Emmy. 404 00:13:37,261 --> 00:13:39,929 - See that? - Working as a team together. 405 00:13:39,963 --> 00:13:42,698 Trust me... This whole thing is wired. 406 00:13:42,732 --> 00:13:43,900 [Doorbell rings] 407 00:13:43,934 --> 00:13:46,002 What the hell? 408 00:13:46,036 --> 00:13:46,969 'Sup, jerk? 409 00:13:47,004 --> 00:13:48,104 Balls. 410 00:13:48,138 --> 00:13:49,371 You didn't know she was staying with me? 411 00:13:49,406 --> 00:13:50,530 Balls, balls. 412 00:13:50,555 --> 00:13:52,708 Hello, my name is Dave Kim. I lost my contact lens. 413 00:13:52,742 --> 00:13:53,876 Dana, can you help me find it 414 00:13:53,911 --> 00:13:55,244 for 8 to 10 minutes out of earshot? 415 00:13:55,279 --> 00:13:57,313 Not now, Dave Kim. It's gone to hell. 416 00:13:57,347 --> 00:13:59,949 We didn't even make it out of the house. 417 00:13:59,983 --> 00:14:02,285 - I know. - Two dates can't be done. 418 00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:04,252 - I know! - Dude, he's created a whole 419 00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:05,888 nerd world to plot against us. 420 00:14:05,923 --> 00:14:07,924 This is super-creepy, Adam. 421 00:14:07,958 --> 00:14:09,792 My god, did you make me the hulk? 422 00:14:09,827 --> 00:14:12,393 Yes, but only 'cause I don't like you when you're angry. 423 00:14:12,428 --> 00:14:14,696 This is so scheming and disrespectful. 424 00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:17,199 No, please, don't start doubting my character. 425 00:14:17,233 --> 00:14:19,367 - Group hug? - Ugh, just leave us alone, liar. 426 00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,803 Ugh. 427 00:14:21,838 --> 00:14:23,205 Okay. 428 00:14:23,239 --> 00:14:25,941 New advice... lay low. 429 00:14:25,975 --> 00:14:28,076 Now that I can pull off. 430 00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:29,978 But that was impossible 'cause the next day, 431 00:14:30,012 --> 00:14:31,512 literally everyone in the country 432 00:14:31,547 --> 00:14:33,114 gathered for Hands Across America. 433 00:14:33,149 --> 00:14:35,217 Adam, over here! It's your mama. 434 00:14:35,251 --> 00:14:36,985 So instead, I hid. 435 00:14:37,019 --> 00:14:38,987 Don't ignore me. I'm regional captain. 436 00:14:39,021 --> 00:14:40,822 - I deserve respect. - No, no, no. 437 00:14:40,857 --> 00:14:42,190 Shh! 438 00:14:42,225 --> 00:14:43,424 I'm hiding in the shadows, okay? 439 00:14:43,459 --> 00:14:44,659 What are you talking about? 440 00:14:44,693 --> 00:14:46,493 Today is the day that me and my kids 441 00:14:46,527 --> 00:14:48,695 finally get on the front page of the newspaper. 442 00:14:48,730 --> 00:14:50,597 All of us... No exceptions. 443 00:14:50,631 --> 00:14:52,299 Yes, I... I.. I'll hide with you people. 444 00:14:52,334 --> 00:14:53,868 Block my head with your enormous hair. 445 00:14:53,902 --> 00:14:55,635 I'm so nervous for Baio. 446 00:14:55,670 --> 00:14:57,637 My hands are super-sweaty but soft. 447 00:14:57,672 --> 00:14:59,740 I've been moisturizing all day. So where is he? 448 00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:02,243 - Yeah, where's the Scottster anyway? - Oh, my god, no! 449 00:15:02,277 --> 00:15:03,477 You can't lure Scott 450 00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:05,551 with your off-the-shoulder crop top and short skirt. 451 00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:07,882 You really think I would use my young feminine form 452 00:15:07,916 --> 00:15:09,116 to get Scott Baio's attention? 453 00:15:09,150 --> 00:15:11,051 I do look good, though, right? 454 00:15:11,086 --> 00:15:13,220 Uh, actually, I have some good news, bad news. 455 00:15:13,255 --> 00:15:15,822 Uh, the bad news is Baio's not coming. 456 00:15:15,857 --> 00:15:17,523 - What? - You monster! 457 00:15:17,548 --> 00:15:18,692 No, stop it. 458 00:15:18,726 --> 00:15:21,032 I actually got a bigger celebrity. 459 00:15:21,057 --> 00:15:22,462 - Michael Jackson? - Rob Lowe? 460 00:15:22,497 --> 00:15:24,431 Jermaine Jackson. 461 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,366 Better... I have the most famous person 462 00:15:26,401 --> 00:15:27,925 in Philadelphia history. 463 00:15:27,950 --> 00:15:30,370 Please give a warm Hands Across America welcome 464 00:15:30,405 --> 00:15:31,737 to Ben Franklin. 465 00:15:31,762 --> 00:15:33,907 Good morrow, fellow colonists. 466 00:15:33,941 --> 00:15:36,410 I am founding father, Benjamin Franklin. 467 00:15:36,444 --> 00:15:39,813 Allow me to gaze upon you through my bifocals, 468 00:15:39,847 --> 00:15:41,715 which I invented in 1784. 469 00:15:41,749 --> 00:15:43,917 - Why is this thing still talking? - Ooh, the paper's here. 470 00:15:43,951 --> 00:15:46,286 Okay, everybody hold hands and sing. 471 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,456 Bev, I don't think the rest of the country is ready just yet. 472 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,057 You never even had Scott Baio, did you? 473 00:15:51,091 --> 00:15:52,091 No time to talk. 474 00:15:52,126 --> 00:15:54,493 All right, Adam, stop hiding in my hair. 475 00:15:54,528 --> 00:15:57,162 Ooh! Emmy, Dana, come and hold hands and take a picture. 476 00:15:57,196 --> 00:15:59,197 - We'd rather not. - They'd really rather not. 477 00:15:59,232 --> 00:16:00,666 Okay, well, it's not a choice. 478 00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:03,168 Every hand not held is another homeless family. 479 00:16:03,202 --> 00:16:05,337 - I don't think... - Okay, just do it, just do it, just do it. 480 00:16:05,371 --> 00:16:06,472 Photographers! 481 00:16:06,506 --> 00:16:07,840 Smile, smile. Teeth, teeth. 482 00:16:07,874 --> 00:16:09,842 I'd like to, but they're crushing my bones 483 00:16:09,876 --> 00:16:11,076 with their strong lady hands. 484 00:16:11,110 --> 00:16:13,479 Mine too. I'm just a pawn! 485 00:16:13,513 --> 00:16:14,379 - Ow! - Ow! 486 00:16:14,414 --> 00:16:15,247 - Ow! - Ow! 487 00:16:15,281 --> 00:16:16,315 - Ow! - Ow! 488 00:16:16,349 --> 00:16:17,817 This is a nightmare! 489 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,518 How are they stronger than us? 490 00:16:19,943 --> 00:16:21,005 The moment had come. 491 00:16:21,036 --> 00:16:24,035 It was finally time to hold hands across America. 492 00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:25,855 Boys, quick! Grab Mommy's hands! 493 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:27,046 Holy crap, it's happening. 494 00:16:27,079 --> 00:16:28,980 Okay. Come on, you guys. 495 00:16:29,015 --> 00:16:30,382 You've got to hold my hand. 496 00:16:30,417 --> 00:16:31,583 Hold my hand, damn it. 497 00:16:31,618 --> 00:16:33,285 No way. You lied to us. 498 00:16:33,319 --> 00:16:35,053 Beverly, what are you doing? 499 00:16:35,087 --> 00:16:36,521 Come on, it's time. Hold hands. 500 00:16:36,555 --> 00:16:37,855 Kids, do it. 501 00:16:37,890 --> 00:16:39,291 - Never. - Hold my hands. 502 00:16:39,325 --> 00:16:40,892 We will hold no hands. 503 00:16:40,927 --> 00:16:42,394 What is wrong with you people?! 504 00:16:42,428 --> 00:16:43,694 - Please! - No way. 505 00:16:43,729 --> 00:16:44,963 This is for the homeless! 506 00:16:44,997 --> 00:16:46,131 Hold my hands. 507 00:16:46,165 --> 00:16:47,465 - No way. - Hold hands! 508 00:16:47,499 --> 00:16:49,401 Please, just hold my hands. 509 00:16:49,435 --> 00:16:50,402 - Never. - No way. 510 00:16:50,436 --> 00:16:52,437 - Hold hands! - I shall hold your hand. 511 00:16:52,471 --> 00:16:54,539 Oh [Bleep] off, Ben Franklin. 512 00:16:54,573 --> 00:16:56,674 Mom, no! Back off, mom. 513 00:16:56,708 --> 00:16:58,876 - I'm not holding your hand. - [Camera shutter clicks] 514 00:16:58,911 --> 00:17:00,511 No, no, don't put that in the paper. 515 00:17:00,579 --> 00:17:02,047 It's gonna look like the Goldbergs 516 00:17:02,081 --> 00:17:03,181 Broke Hands Across America. 517 00:17:03,215 --> 00:17:04,715 Goldbergs... got it. 518 00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:07,151 [Camera shutter clicks] Oh, that's a keeper. 519 00:17:07,185 --> 00:17:11,021 And so, Hands Across America was single-handedly a bust. 520 00:17:11,056 --> 00:17:14,024 All I wanted was one nice photo for the wall. 521 00:17:14,059 --> 00:17:17,828 That's all I ever wanted. 522 00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:19,430 No. 523 00:17:19,464 --> 00:17:21,031 No, you're the one who lied. 524 00:17:21,066 --> 00:17:23,334 You can't make us feel bad about this. 525 00:17:23,368 --> 00:17:26,937 As my mom's spirit was crushed, so were my hands. 526 00:17:26,972 --> 00:17:28,872 Hey. How you holding up? 527 00:17:28,906 --> 00:17:31,842 Well, I've got no girlfriend, no best friend, 528 00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:34,945 and no feeling in both hands, so not good. 529 00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:36,107 You know what I think? 530 00:17:36,132 --> 00:17:38,482 Yes, I'm a moron. I get it. 531 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:40,985 No, I don't think you do. 532 00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:45,689 When I say, "don't be a moron," it really means something. 533 00:17:45,723 --> 00:17:47,958 You mean beyond just being rude and insulting? 534 00:17:47,992 --> 00:17:49,498 Yeah, that's just part of it. 535 00:17:49,523 --> 00:17:54,293 But it's my way of saying be honest, be a good person. 536 00:17:54,327 --> 00:17:57,530 It's how I live my life, and you know what? 537 00:17:57,564 --> 00:17:58,631 It works. 538 00:17:58,666 --> 00:18:01,768 So, how do I make it up to Emmy and Dana? 539 00:18:01,802 --> 00:18:04,037 That's easy. 540 00:18:04,071 --> 00:18:06,472 Don't be a moron. 541 00:18:07,597 --> 00:18:10,367 After years of getting advice on girls from Pops, 542 00:18:10,410 --> 00:18:13,179 I learned my Dad had some wisdom to offer after all. 543 00:18:13,213 --> 00:18:15,048 - ♪ They say in heaven ♪ - What the hell are you doing, weirdo? 544 00:18:15,082 --> 00:18:17,031 ♪ Love comes first ♪ - I'm cordially and blatantly 545 00:18:17,056 --> 00:18:18,316 inviting you both to the dance. 546 00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:20,719 - ♪ We'll make heaven a place on earth ♪ - You can't be serious. 547 00:18:20,753 --> 00:18:23,521 - ♪ Ooh, heaven is a place on earth ♪ - Look, I screwed up, but you have to believe me 548 00:18:23,556 --> 00:18:25,724 all I wanted was to make both of you feel special. 549 00:18:25,758 --> 00:18:28,626 Emmy, you've been my best friend since second grade. 550 00:18:28,661 --> 00:18:31,697 I just couldn't bear to see you so sad. 551 00:18:31,731 --> 00:18:34,299 And, Dana, the last thing I'd ever want to do is 552 00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:36,935 to hurt the girl I love more than anything in this world. 553 00:18:36,969 --> 00:18:39,738 - Aww. - Point is I'm a moron. 554 00:18:39,772 --> 00:18:40,972 ♪ I wait for you and you come around ♪ 555 00:18:41,007 --> 00:18:42,941 We'll got get dressed. 556 00:18:42,975 --> 00:18:46,477 - ♪ And the world's alive ♪ - As it turns out, the best plan of all was honesty. 557 00:18:46,784 --> 00:18:49,480 And because of that, I was able to do what Alex P. Keaton, 558 00:18:49,515 --> 00:18:52,316 Jack Tripper, and Peter Brady never could... 559 00:18:52,350 --> 00:18:55,419 - ♪ When you walk into the room ♪ - Take two girls to the same dance. 560 00:18:55,453 --> 00:18:58,022 - ♪ You pull me close and we start to move ♪ - And not just any girls... 561 00:18:58,056 --> 00:19:00,557 - ♪ And we're spinning with the stars above ♪ - The most important ones in my life. 562 00:19:00,592 --> 00:19:03,660 - ♪ And you lift me up ♪ - And it was a night I always remember. 563 00:19:03,695 --> 00:19:05,529 ♪ In a wave of love ♪ 564 00:19:05,563 --> 00:19:08,199 ♪ ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? ♪ 565 00:19:08,233 --> 00:19:10,234 Crying at "Zapped!" That's a first. 566 00:19:10,268 --> 00:19:14,371 ♪ Ooh, heaven is a place on earth ♪ - No, I just... [Sighs] I feel bad. 567 00:19:14,405 --> 00:19:16,540 I'm a bad mama. 568 00:19:16,574 --> 00:19:19,076 - ♪ When I feel alone ♪ - I don't think any of us were at our best. 569 00:19:19,111 --> 00:19:21,678 - ♪ I reach for you ♪ - Which actually worked in our favor. 570 00:19:21,713 --> 00:19:23,513 ♪ And you bring me home ♪ 571 00:19:23,548 --> 00:19:26,950 - ♪ in this world, we're just beginning ♪ - This... is not what I meant at all. 572 00:19:26,984 --> 00:19:29,585 - ♪ To understand the miracle of living ♪ - I know we're not actually holding hands, 573 00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:32,521 but if this picture isn't us, I don't know what is. 574 00:19:32,556 --> 00:19:34,958 - ♪ Baby, I was afraid before ♪ - You're right. 575 00:19:34,992 --> 00:19:37,460 - ♪ But I'm not afraid anymore ♪ - I love it. 576 00:19:37,494 --> 00:19:39,528 That's the thing about the people you love. 577 00:19:39,563 --> 00:19:41,397 - ♪ Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth ♪ - It's not always picture-perfect. 578 00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:43,767 Sometimes you have to live in the moment and take it all in. 579 00:19:43,801 --> 00:19:47,070 - ♪ Ooh, heaven is a place on earth ♪ - But side-by-side, hand-in-hand... 580 00:19:47,104 --> 00:19:49,538 - ♪ They say in heaven love comes first ♪ - you'll find it's pretty great. 581 00:19:49,573 --> 00:19:50,979 - ♪ We'll make heaven a place on earth ♪ - And sure, 582 00:19:51,004 --> 00:19:52,275 you may make a lot of mistakes along the way. 583 00:19:52,309 --> 00:19:53,877 Growing up is a tricky dance, 584 00:19:53,911 --> 00:19:56,146 but occasionally, you find your groove. 585 00:19:56,180 --> 00:19:58,447 - ♪ Ooh, heaven is a place on earth ♪ - Last dance of the night. 586 00:19:58,482 --> 00:20:01,817 - Have fun, dorks. - Actually I don't think you should take off just yet. 587 00:20:01,851 --> 00:20:03,452 I talked to Adam Abel. 588 00:20:04,521 --> 00:20:06,155 [Chuckles] I'm gonna kill you. 589 00:20:06,189 --> 00:20:08,223 - He saved you a dance. - I love you. 590 00:20:08,258 --> 00:20:11,794 - ♪ Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? ♪ - Ah! 591 00:20:11,828 --> 00:20:15,331 ♪ Ooh, heaven is a place on earth ♪ 592 00:20:15,365 --> 00:20:19,702 ♪ they say in heaven love comes first ♪ 593 00:20:19,736 --> 00:20:24,407 ♪ we'll make heaven a place on earth ♪ 594 00:20:24,441 --> 00:20:27,410 ♪ 595 00:20:27,444 --> 00:20:29,845 [Ding! Ding!] 596 00:20:30,518 --> 00:20:33,546 Ugh. I don't understand how we all got the flu. 597 00:20:33,571 --> 00:20:36,118 I told you... with all that hand holding, you'd catch a bug. 598 00:20:36,143 --> 00:20:38,244 Will you stop saying that. It's not even how it works. 599 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:41,881 - [Knock on door] - Ooh, sounds like we may have a special visitor. 600 00:20:41,915 --> 00:20:44,116 Wait, did Scott Baio's people finally get back to you? 601 00:20:44,150 --> 00:20:47,486 No, but, uh, I still have 602 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,255 Ben Franklin rented for an hour. 603 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:52,657 Good morrow, sick children. 604 00:20:52,692 --> 00:20:55,594 As I so famously said in 1780-something, 605 00:20:55,628 --> 00:20:57,796 an apple a day keeps the doctor... 606 00:20:57,830 --> 00:20:59,030 - No! - Not again. 607 00:20:59,065 --> 00:21:00,332 I hate this president. 608 00:21:00,356 --> 00:21:04,356 Synced and corrected by Nest0r www.addic7ed.com