1 00:00:04,637 --> 00:00:05,626 MIKE: Mmm. 2 00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:08,131 - Another great dinner, Ma. - Thanks, Mikey. 3 00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:09,536 Makes me feel good to know 4 00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:11,609 you get at least one decent meal a week. 5 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,078 Well, you know I cook for him. 6 00:00:14,247 --> 00:00:15,578 I know. 7 00:00:16,616 --> 00:00:18,948 Peggy, healthy food can be delicious, too. Right, Mike? 8 00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:20,552 Yeah, that's what you keep telling me. 9 00:00:22,655 --> 00:00:24,885 Hey, by the way, what are you doing next Wednesday 10 00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:26,320 at 5:30 a. M? 11 00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:29,687 Um, let's see. Unless I get a paper route, I will be sleeping. 12 00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:34,794 My church group is taking a van to the casino in Rockford. 13 00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,299 I could use a seatmate, 14 00:00:36,469 --> 00:00:38,596 and maybe we could go halfsies on a penny slot. 15 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,672 - Wait, wait. Is this next Wednesday? - Mmm. 16 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,206 I actually have a real excuse why I can't go. 17 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:45,674 I got tickets for that play. I got tickets for a play. 18 00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:48,773 Yeah. You're going to see that thing about werewolves. 19 00:00:49,949 --> 00:00:52,349 Well, I'm going to see a play at Steppenwolf. 20 00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:55,818 It's the most famous theater in Chicago. 21 00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:59,283 Right. And thank you for not making me go. 22 00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:02,287 All right, I'll go to your werewolf play. 23 00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:04,054 But next time we do my thing. 24 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,288 Wait, what? 25 00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:06,523 Hey, if you're gonna take a trip with my ma, 26 00:01:06,699 --> 00:01:07,688 can I have the guys over for cards? 27 00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:09,596 No, we're not taking a trip together. 28 00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:12,203 So, I go to your dumb play and you do squat for me? 29 00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:14,397 I never asked you to come to the play with me! 30 00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:16,769 Oh, fine! After I rearranged my whole schedule. 31 00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:18,342 You didn't change anything! 32 00:01:18,511 --> 00:01:20,502 - So, is that a "no" on poker? - Yes. 33 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,705 - So that's a "yes" on poker? - No! 34 00:01:23,716 --> 00:01:24,705 Don't snap at him. 35 00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:26,249 You're the one promising him things, 36 00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:27,511 and then taking them away. 37 00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:29,814 All right, we're done. Dinner's over. 38 00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,786 Oh, fine, go ahead and go. 39 00:01:31,958 --> 00:01:34,586 Cut into the only time I spend with my son all week. 40 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,023 There it is. 41 00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:38,694 If you're not being a bully, you're playing the martyr. 42 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:40,492 You know why I don't wanna take a trip with you? 43 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,329 Because you're 100% pure, uncut misery. 44 00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:45,733 You suck the joy out of any situation. 45 00:01:45,905 --> 00:01:48,533 You are a joyless fun-sucker! 46 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,904 All right, let me have it, Peggy. 47 00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:55,377 Vomit up the bile like you always do. 48 00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:58,984 Tell me why I'm such a horrible, ungrateful daughter-in-law. 49 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,113 Mom? 50 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:07,416 Oh, faking a heart attack. Classic fun-sucker move. 51 00:02:08,528 --> 00:02:10,428 Molly, she's not faking! Call 911! 52 00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:11,894 Oh, God! 53 00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:13,892 Okay. 54 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:17,532 Argh, I hate this purse! I can't find anything! 55 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:18,762 Use the landline! 56 00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:20,030 Good idea! Good idea! 57 00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:22,106 It's okay, Ma. It's okay. Keep listening to my voice. 58 00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:23,264 You're gonna be okay. 59 00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:25,102 Okay, I dialed my cellphone. 60 00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:27,246 When it rings, pick it up and then dial 911! 61 00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:28,971 - (CELL PHONE RINGING) - Just call 911! 62 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,582 Better! 63 00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:32,383 You're gonna be okay. 64 00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,710 (THEME SONG) 65 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:42,000 Ripped & Corrected By mstoll 66 00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:03,477 Hey, how's she doin'? 67 00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:05,550 Well, she seemed to come around in the ambulance. 68 00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:07,819 And when the paramedic opened her shirt 69 00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:10,148 she slapped him and called him a pervert. 70 00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:12,418 Well, that's a good sign. 71 00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:13,923 So what happened? 72 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,021 Excellent question. 73 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:19,256 (EXHALES) I mean, really excellent question. 74 00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:24,870 Who knows whatever, actually, really is ever happening? 75 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,028 (MUMBLING) 76 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,102 So, she just keeled over right out of the blue? 77 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,375 Yep. Yep. Yep. 78 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,572 I mean, we were talking about taking a trip together 79 00:03:36,749 --> 00:03:37,738 to the casino. 80 00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:41,353 And our schedules weren't quite lining up, 81 00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:46,424 and she may have started to get a little bit upset about that. 82 00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:48,458 - Oh, so, you were fighting. - That makes more sense. 83 00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,926 No, no, no! No, we were not fighting. 84 00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:53,031 We were having a spirited conversation. 85 00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:55,633 - So you were really giving it to her. - No! 86 00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:58,695 No! Why am I on trial here? 87 00:03:58,871 --> 00:04:01,271 Peggy had a heart attack. We are all very concerned. 88 00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:02,567 - End of story. - Got it. 89 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:03,936 You weren't even there. 90 00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:07,039 You could say you were with me and Joyce. 91 00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:08,339 We were playing rummy. 92 00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:09,811 This helps us, too. 93 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:15,680 No, nobody's helping anybody! I didn't do anything wrong! 94 00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:17,511 Hey. 95 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:19,055 Hey, how is she? What did the doctor say? 96 00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:20,817 It was a mild heart attack. 97 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:21,983 She's resting, 98 00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:23,321 they're gonna keep her overnight for observation. 99 00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:25,430 But we should be able to bring her home tomorrow. 100 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,532 - Okay, good. - Thank God. 101 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:29,099 - How are you doing? - I've been better. 102 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,930 I'm just... I'm glad she's okay. 103 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,264 Me, too. 104 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,371 Me, me, too. 105 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:47,442 You know, Carl, we've seen it all on this job. 106 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:51,314 But when it's your mother laying on the ground, 107 00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,288 nothing can prepare you for that. 108 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:54,949 Mmm, it's a good thing you were there. 109 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,720 Damn right. I'm such a terrible son, 110 00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:58,989 I had to drag myself over to that Sunday dinner. 111 00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:01,224 Hey, come on now. It's not just about your mother. 112 00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:02,800 You drag yourself everywhere. 113 00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:07,262 I think it's your low center of gravity. You just... 114 00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:17,713 Well, she deserves better. 115 00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,146 I mean, she raised me all by herself 116 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,308 on a lunch lady's paycheck. 117 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:21,578 Do you know how hard that is? 118 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:23,847 Mmm. They sacrifice everything for us. 119 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,524 And what do we do for them? Nothing. 120 00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:27,091 Actually, I bought mine a Kindle, 121 00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:29,251 and a well for her village. So speak for yourself. 122 00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:35,226 I'm telling you, man, this is a wake-up call. 123 00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:36,629 I'm getting a second chance with her, 124 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:37,963 and I'm not gonna take it for granted. 125 00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:40,162 - Good for you. - I'm not gonna let things go unsaid. 126 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,705 I'm gonna make sure she knows how I feel. 127 00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:43,637 - As you should. - If you love somebody, tell 'em. 128 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:44,868 It doesn't cost you nothing. 129 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,979 - Mike... - Don't say it, Carl. 130 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:49,837 Man, don't flatter yourself. 131 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,483 I was gonna ask you to pass me the salt. 132 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:54,750 Thank you. 133 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,485 - And I love you. - All right! 134 00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,557 Vince, how are we doing? 135 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:04,719 Just finished. 136 00:06:04,897 --> 00:06:06,831 So you had the bench and the handrails in the shower? 137 00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:09,297 Check. And that elevated toilet seat is in 138 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,835 and works like a charm, once you get used to the splashing. 139 00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:15,702 I told you to stay off of it. 140 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,537 You kidding? That's like baking a cake without taking a bite. 141 00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:21,274 Okay, are we missing anything? 142 00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:24,109 Should we cover the outlets, or is that just for babies? 143 00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:26,774 Molly, relax. You've done plenty. 144 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,450 I ever tell you the time I was watching my neighbors' parrot 145 00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:30,646 while they were on vacation? 146 00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:31,949 Nope. 147 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,615 I never let that thing out of my sight. 148 00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:35,624 Until one day I left him in a hot car 149 00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:38,229 because they wouldn't let birds in the bowling alley. 150 00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:40,932 I felt awful. 151 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:43,330 Car smelled like fried chicken for two weeks. 152 00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:47,702 Vince, is there a point to your story? 153 00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:49,739 I'm just saying, guilt is a funny thing. 154 00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,935 Eventually I forgave myself. Maybe you should do the same. 155 00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:54,704 There's no need for forgiveness. 156 00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:56,109 I'm being a good daughter-in-law. 157 00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:58,079 You're the one that murdered a parrot. 158 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,186 Hey, we both got blood on our hands. 159 00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:03,920 Mine's just got feathers mixed in. 160 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:07,924 Trust me, Vince, if I could cause a heart attack, 161 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,028 you'd be flopping on the floor right now. 162 00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:11,821 (DOOR OPENS) 163 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:14,595 Here we are. Home sweet home. 164 00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:18,429 Hi, Peggy! Oh, look who got her color back. 165 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,401 They must've been giving you nitroglycerine, 166 00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:22,939 because you look dynamite. 167 00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:24,437 (LAUGHS) 168 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,747 Get out. 169 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,353 Well, Vince, you heard her. 170 00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:39,714 No, you. Get the hell out of my house! 171 00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:41,517 What? 172 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,269 There's an elevated toilet seat, just... 173 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,505 Watch out for the splashing. 174 00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:07,650 Why are you making her soup 175 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,447 when she threw you out of her house? 176 00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:11,419 She just went through a trauma. 177 00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:14,458 She's lashing out at the first person she saw. 178 00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:16,224 Didn't she see Mike first? 179 00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:17,726 And Vince was there, too. 180 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,228 Well, you know what? I'm the strongest. 181 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:22,731 And she knew that I could take it. 182 00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:25,564 And frankly, I'm glad I could be there for her. 183 00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:29,200 - Hey. - Hey. 184 00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:30,399 I was just gonna grab some stuff, 185 00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:32,009 and then I'm heading back over to Mom's. 186 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,873 Oh, good. You know what, take this with you. 187 00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:35,775 I made her turkey noodle soup. 188 00:08:35,948 --> 00:08:37,108 And I left the bones in 189 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:38,875 'cause I know she loves to crack 'em. 190 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:42,844 Ah, that's okay. Leave it here. 191 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,717 No, Mike, come on. I wanna help. 192 00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,290 Don't you think you've done enough? 193 00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:49,891 What's that supposed to mean? 194 00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,393 Look, I don't want to get into this right now. 195 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:54,032 No, no, no, no. 196 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,930 Come on, you can't blame all of this on me, can you? 197 00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:58,434 You mean, would she have had a heart attack 198 00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:00,834 if you hadn't yelled at her? It's a good question. 199 00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:02,599 Hey, let's go do that thing we were gonna do. 200 00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:03,799 To get away from their fighting? 201 00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:05,375 Yes! 202 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,706 - We are not fighting! - Yes, we are! 203 00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:10,907 Look, all she wanted was to spend a little time with you, 204 00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:12,175 and you couldn't give her that. 205 00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:14,717 Mike, I spent the last six months with her writing a book. 206 00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:16,115 I did my time! 207 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,519 My mother is not a stretch at Joliet. 208 00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:20,249 I didn't mean it like that. 209 00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:22,656 Admit it. You've never liked her. 210 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,690 When have I ever denied it? 211 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:36,073 - (GRUNTS) Here we go. - Easy with the leg. 212 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,210 I'm not Nadia Comaneci. 213 00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:41,106 All right, well, I'm just trying to make you comfortable, Ma. 214 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,303 (PEGGY GROANS) 215 00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:44,243 All right, do you feel any of the following? 216 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,543 - Dizziness? - No. 217 00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:46,707 - Numbness? - No. 218 00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:47,875 - Any pain? - Yep. 219 00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:50,045 - Where? - Right in front of me. 220 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:53,055 Hey, look, I'm just following doctor's orders. 221 00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:55,750 By the way, you can't have a BLT. Too many nitrates. 222 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,520 Ah, what do these doctors know? 223 00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,324 They keep flip-flopping on stuff. 224 00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:01,932 One day smoking's bad, one day it's good. 225 00:10:04,236 --> 00:10:05,828 Wait, it actually says on the package, 226 00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:07,632 "This will kill you." 227 00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:09,435 You'll see. 228 00:10:11,043 --> 00:10:13,739 Well, I'm just glad you're home, and okay. 229 00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:15,505 I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you. 230 00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:18,343 I told you. Open that metal box in the attic, 231 00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:19,950 everything you need to know is in there. 232 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,610 And if the dog's alive, put him down. 233 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,253 I'm not killing your dog. 234 00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:30,190 I'm not asking you to strangle him. 235 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,854 There's a biscuit in the freezer marked "Do not eat." 236 00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:37,866 All right, we'll worry about that later. 237 00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:40,394 You know, in a weird way 238 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,200 I'm actually glad all of this happened. 239 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:46,004 Great, I'll see if I can work up a stroke for your next birthday. 240 00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:48,669 That's not what I meant. 241 00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:50,475 Just saying it gives us a chance to talk, 242 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:51,947 so things don't go unsaid. 243 00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:53,585 Like what? 244 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,153 Like I love you. 245 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,290 I know that. What else you got? 246 00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:03,352 - That was kind of the biggie. - Mmm. 247 00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,622 You got anything you want to say to me? 248 00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:06,787 Yeah. 249 00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:09,958 Open casket, blue dress for me, blue sweater for the dog. 250 00:11:13,072 --> 00:11:14,699 All right, you want mayo on that BLT? 251 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:16,171 Thanks. 252 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,211 Mom, you got a sec? 253 00:11:22,481 --> 00:11:23,778 Everything okay, sweetie? 254 00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:26,076 Oh, yeah, I just can't sleep. 255 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:29,081 Come here. Tell Mommy what the trouble is. 256 00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:30,688 Poppy's here, too. 257 00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:38,694 I just keep going over and over the fight I had with Mike, 258 00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:41,526 and I've been really thinking hard about what he said. 259 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,759 Good for you, honey. 260 00:11:42,935 --> 00:11:44,800 Self-reflection's not an easy thing to do. 261 00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:46,232 No, it's not. 262 00:11:46,405 --> 00:11:48,930 And the more I think about it, and Peggy's heart attack, 263 00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:50,302 and what led up to it, 264 00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:53,877 the more I'm starting to realize I did absolutely nothing wrong. 265 00:11:55,681 --> 00:11:57,740 I thought she was going the other way with that. 266 00:11:58,317 --> 00:11:59,716 Could you just let her get to her point? 267 00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,614 No, that was my point. 268 00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:03,015 Really? 269 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,649 Did I say some horrible things to Peggy? Yes. 270 00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:06,985 Because she makes me. 271 00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:09,559 I mean, she is the meanest, most obstinate, 272 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:12,129 obnoxious woman in the world. 273 00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,394 And if anything was to ever happen to her, 274 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,795 I don't know what I'd do. 275 00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:17,492 Oh, honey. 276 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:18,898 (SOBBING) You know, I don't know how she did it, 277 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:20,902 but that old witch made me love her. 278 00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:25,141 Well, she raised Mike, must be something good in there. 279 00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:30,206 I know. (SNIFFLES) Peggy doesn't give a damn what anybody thinks or... 280 00:12:30,382 --> 00:12:32,373 I mean, she's brutally honest. 281 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,977 And she's probably the only person that isn't afraid of me. 282 00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:36,382 She's right about that. 283 00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:39,414 Take it easy. I'm just agreeing with you. 284 00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:47,692 - (CLATTERS) - PEGGY: Oh. 285 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,565 Damn it! 286 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,237 - You okay, Ma? - Oh, yeah. 287 00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:53,894 What the hell are you doing in here? 288 00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,131 I heard a crash. 289 00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:57,867 Suction on the shower caddy gave out. 290 00:12:58,043 --> 00:12:59,840 Well, we've both had a good run. 291 00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:03,278 All right, thank God. Don't move. I'll get it. 292 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,076 The hell you will. 293 00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:06,843 This is no time for modesty. 294 00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:08,748 I am not an invalid. 295 00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:10,548 No, you're a woman who just had a heart attack. 296 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,657 Now back up, I'm going in blind. 297 00:13:12,825 --> 00:13:16,261 All right. Thanks, Mikey. 298 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:20,322 Must've taken some guts to come crashing in here. 299 00:13:20,499 --> 00:13:22,933 I'll admit, I've busted through a lot of doors over my years, 300 00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:25,161 but that one was the hardest. 301 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,128 Oh... 302 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,773 Seems like yesterday I was giving you baths in that sink. 303 00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:33,036 - Really? - Oh, yeah. 304 00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:35,271 You'd sit there like a wet little Buddha, 305 00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:37,005 sucking on a stick of Right Guard. 306 00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:40,041 You let me suck on deodorant? 307 00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:42,710 Relax, it was the unscented kind. 308 00:13:45,057 --> 00:13:48,515 Listen, the last thing I want to be is a burden to you. 309 00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:50,924 Stop it. This is just a little setback. 310 00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:53,326 You and I both know where this is going. 311 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,626 I hate that you gotta go through it with me. 312 00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:59,560 Well, I don't. I'm your son. I'm honored. 313 00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:03,970 You put diapers on me, and when the time comes 314 00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:05,906 I will hire someone to put diapers on you. 315 00:14:07,913 --> 00:14:09,437 You're a good boy, Mikey. 316 00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:13,209 Now, hand me that razor and a can of Barbasol. 317 00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:15,250 Time for some spring cleaning. 318 00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:19,748 PEGGY: Careful on that floor, Mikey, 319 00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,859 when it gets wet it's like an ice rink. 320 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,086 Hey, don't worry about me. 321 00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:25,652 (MIKE YELLS) 322 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,429 - Mikey, you all right? - No! 323 00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:32,667 Oh, Mikey, I'm coming. 324 00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:33,827 Wait! 325 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:41,569 Okay. Now you can help me. 326 00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:50,143 MOLLY: Oh... 327 00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:53,117 Oh, my God. 328 00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:56,061 Hey, you. 329 00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:00,922 - How are you feeling, honey? - Great. 330 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:04,165 - Oh, you're so pretty. - Okay. Okay. 331 00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:05,459 (CHUCKLES) 332 00:15:05,771 --> 00:15:07,568 Don't let that "pretty" stuff go to your head. 333 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,435 That's the dope drip talkin'. 334 00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:11,801 Okay, what happened? 335 00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:14,874 I was taking a shower with my mommy. 336 00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:19,746 Boy, he is really out of it. 337 00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:21,680 No, that's actually true. 338 00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:22,843 I was in the shower, 339 00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:24,580 he was trying to help me shave my... 340 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,247 And the end. 341 00:15:27,393 --> 00:15:28,382 (MOLLY SIGHS) 342 00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:33,254 Wow, I can't seem to keep this family out of the hospital. 343 00:15:37,069 --> 00:15:38,400 Listen, Peggy, 344 00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:41,164 if you think that I did something 345 00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:43,604 that may have caused your heart attack, I'm sorry. 346 00:15:43,809 --> 00:15:46,243 (SCOFFS) Oh, please. Don't flatter yourself. 347 00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:48,778 You couldn't kill me if you tried. 348 00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:51,406 Well, then why are you so mad at me? 349 00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:52,572 Just drop it. 350 00:15:52,751 --> 00:15:56,346 Well, I think we both know I'm not gonna do that. 351 00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:59,716 We worked side by side for six months straight, 352 00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:02,690 and you won't sit next to me for a three-hour van ride? 353 00:16:02,861 --> 00:16:06,888 Peggy, it's actually six hours, round trip. So... 354 00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:10,462 Well, I'm sorry it's such a hardship for you. 355 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,729 You know, I thought that's what friends do together. 356 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:17,202 - "Friends"? - Never mind. 357 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:22,040 No, no, now, I just never thought of us that way. 358 00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:24,910 I just need a minute to kind of roll it around in there. 359 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:30,019 I like it, you know, friend. 360 00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:33,584 I regretted it as soon as I said it. 361 00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:35,454 Well, no take backs. 362 00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:38,029 You know what I like to do to my friends? 363 00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:41,362 To hug 'em. 364 00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:43,695 I like to hug 'em. 365 00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:48,236 I liked you better when you were trying to kill me. 366 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:58,476 Are you guys hugging? I am so high. 367 00:17:17,503 --> 00:17:18,561 What a crew, huh? 368 00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:21,704 Don't worry, we won't have to ride back with these girls. 369 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,535 They're getting the early shuttle. 370 00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:26,177 Why aren't we getting the early shuttle? 371 00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:27,369 Are you kidding? 372 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,446 Once these old biddies warm up the slots, 373 00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:31,014 we'll have the pick of the litter. 374 00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:33,879 Plus, at midnight, it's half off shrimp. 375 00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:37,251 Boy, a long van ride and midnight shrimp. 376 00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:39,015 - Mmm-hmm. - Does it get any better? 377 00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:42,593 See? And you didn't wanna come. 378 00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:45,753 - Who is this, Peggy? - My daughter-in-law. 379 00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:48,263 I thought you didn't care for her. 380 00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:50,766 No, that's my other one. 381 00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:53,604 You don't have another one. 382 00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:55,899 Come on, we've got three hours ahead of us. 383 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,508 You're gonna make this awkward? 384 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:03,000 Ripped & Corrected By mstoll 385 00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:29,463 English - SDH