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Ladies and gentlemen,
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welcome to the most
anticipated event
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in this precinct's history.
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The auction for...
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(ALL GASP)
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The Suitcase of Mystery!
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GINA: Exactly, Jacob.
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This puppy's been in the
lost and found since 1976.
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No one alive today
knows its contents.
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I'm happy to say
Captain Holt
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has finally given me
permission to auction it off.
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I'll let you
give me a spray tan.
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Any shade you want.
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Jake, willing to
sacrifice his dignity.
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Who can top it?
Massage!
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I'll give you a massage.
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Charles, going in
the wrong direction
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and getting
himself disqualified.
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Interesting approach.
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Orange Jake,
going once, going twice.
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I'll show you a picture
of me in high school.
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There is side-pony.
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Ooh. Ooh! Rosa coming in hot!
Rosa coming in hot!
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I'll also give you full control
of my hair and wardrobe!
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I'll go
on a date with you.
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Sold! To Jake,
not to Scully.
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That really freaked me out,
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and I just want this to end now.
Whoo!
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So, there was
this suitcase...
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I don't care.
Yeah.
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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
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HOLT: All right, everyone,
enough morning chitchat.
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Television happened,
commutes were difficult,
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Boyle had a dream.
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I laid a goose egg
on this...
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That's enough.
Yeah.
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A pipe burst
in the Nine-Eight,
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rendering the building
uninhabitable.
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They'll be sharing our space
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until the problem is fixed.
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(ALL GROANING)
What?
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A whole other
precinct in here?
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We're already packed in
like sardines.
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Look at this.
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Man, I sure would love
to be here to greet
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all these annoying
losers, but sadly,
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Boyle and I are going to be
on a stakeout all week.
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Yeah, just two best buds
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stinking up a Saturn
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with our druthers of tunes
and personal pan pizzas.
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That sucks.
That sucks.
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No one enjoyed that.
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Look, I know this
is an inconvenience,
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however, I expect you all
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to be accommodating
to our guests.
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Don't worry, sir,
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we will be cordial A.F.
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"As Frasier." Love that show.
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DIAZ: They're here.
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SANTIAGO: I hate those
Nine-Eight losers.
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Ugh! These guys are the worst.
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Hey, Stevie Schillens?
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Jakey P in the place to be.
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What are you doing here?
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I thought you were
in the One-Two-Four.
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Ah, I was, man,
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but then I arrested
all the bad guys
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in Staten, so I transferred
to the Nine-Eight.
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So dope.
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Everyone, put on your parkas,
'cause this week
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just got a whole
lot more chill.
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BOTH: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
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Allow me to introduce
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Stevie "Chillin'" Schillens.
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He was my
very first partner
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and one of
the all-time greats.
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Takes one to know one, man.
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Come on.
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I'm Charles!
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Whoa-oh!
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Hey, what's up, man?
I'm Stevie.
We heard.
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Stevie and I were
beat cops together.
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We called ourselves
the Beatsie Boys.
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And, yeah, it was
as cool as it sounds.
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So what'cha, what'cha
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What'cha want
Cha want
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I get so funny with
the money that you flaunt
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So, y'all would just
stand around like that?
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Yeah!
All the time.
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00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:07,611
Totally get it. My first
partner was also pretty cool.
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Everyone called us
Chucky and the Coot.
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So what'cha, what'cha
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What'cha want
Cha want
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I get so funny with
the money that you flaunt
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So, I guess we all
had great partners
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that we've completely
moved on from.
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Because yours
died of old age?
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He did.
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Anyway, we should motor.
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Jake and I are staking out a
bar called the Thirsty Ox...
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Lot of crime, lot of danger,
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lot of downtime
for inside jokes.
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(IN HOARSE VOICE)
"Would you like some milk?"
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(CHUCKLES)
What?
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"Would you like some milk?"
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(IN NORMAL VOICE) The guy...
'Cause you look like...
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I don't know what
you're talking about.
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"Would you like the milk?"
Please.
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PERALTA: What's it from?
It's funny. He remembers. Funny.
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Okay.
Very funny.
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You know what's crazy?
I've been tracking a dealer
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who just took a job
at the Thirsty Ox.
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No crap.
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We should work
the case together.
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The Beatsie Boys
reunion tour?
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Tagline,
boys will always be boys.
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No wait.
Some boys never change.
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No wait.
Boys to men back to boys.
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No wait. Boys! No wait.
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Please, make yourself
at home.
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Captain,
why are you doing this?
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You hate people
in your space.
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Nonsense.
I'm an easygoing chap.
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00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:10,377
Okay. I once saw you use a ruler
to measure another ruler.
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It was off
by half a centimeter.
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It never should've
been in circulation.
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Now, if you'll excuse me.
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Oh, he just sat
at your desk.
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(INHALES SHARPLY)
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Good. Good.
I was hoping he would.
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He's adjusting
your chair settings.
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Even the lumbar?
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Exclusively the lumbar.
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So my spine'll hurt a little.
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It's only a highway holding
all your body's nerves.
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GINA: Mmm-hmm.
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You guys have an extra
mouse for my computer?
139
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No. But, hey,
140
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here, you can borrow mine.
141
00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:41,404
Terry knows his
keyboard shortcuts!
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Ooh. Just deleted everything.
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Sir, we have a problem.
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Yeah, we do.
145
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The line for
the microwave is insane!
146
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Seriously, Amy?
147
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Your problem is
148
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Hitchcock and Scully's
frozen burritos?
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No!
Yeah!
150
00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:56,227
Get out of here! Ugh.
151
00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:58,056
I'm trying to
assemble my binders,
152
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but my new desk mate, Brian,
153
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brought a dog with him
154
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and my allergies
are going crazy.
155
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I'm so stuffy, I can't even
enjoy that new binder smell.
156
00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:07,903
He shouldn't have
a pet in the precinct.
157
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:11,410
It's a "service animal" that
he has for made-up reasons.
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I have mild foot pain, okay?
Francie helps me with that.
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How?
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Legally, you're not
allowed to ask me that.
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Ugh!
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That is nothing.
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My new desk mate
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chats.
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Now, I like to think
of this little lady
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as a city girl
who married a farmhand.
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(CHUCKLES)
168
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She also likes to
look up recipes online
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and go,
"Who's got the time?"
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Okay.
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Captain wants
things running smoothly,
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so why don't you both just
move and work from my desk?
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See? Everything is
gonna be fine.
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Whoa.
175
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Guy just took
my whole computer.
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00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,482
The dealer I'm looking
for is Tom Ozerov.
177
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:52,515
I arrested him a year ago
on a first-degree felony,
178
00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:54,249
but he made a deal
and walked.
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Dude's a real lowlife.
180
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:56,715
Yeah, we've seen that guy.
181
00:05:56,789 --> 00:05:58,780
I said he looked like a
lowlife, remember that, Jake?
182
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,325
His pants were too tight.
Yeah, yeah.
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00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:01,826
Hey, you know what else is too tight?
Hmm?
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00:06:01,894 --> 00:06:03,054
Us working
a case together again.
185
00:06:03,262 --> 00:06:04,593
(BOTH LAUGHING)
186
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Swurt.
Whoo!
187
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,131
Yeah, we say "noice,"
not "swurt."
188
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,067
Look, I'm so sorry, but I
don't think there's room
189
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,468
for a third person
on this case.
190
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,233
Jake, we should work it solo.
191
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,797
Oh, hang on now, Boyle.
Let's not be hasty.
192
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,809
I mean, Stevie's been tracking
Ozerov longer than we have.
193
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:18,969
And three heads
are better than two.
194
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Three's a crowd.
Everybody knows that.
195
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,079
What about in
The Lion King? Hmm?
196
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:24,139
When Jamone and Purboy became
friends with Steemba.
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That's not the names.
It's Simba, Timon, and Pumbaa,
198
00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:27,876
but I appreciate you trying.
199
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:29,421
It really is
a perfect analogy.
200
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,387
All right, I'm in.
Stevie can work the case.
201
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:33,516
All right!
202
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:34,719
Charles Boyle,
203
00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:36,928
welcome to the Beatsie Boys.
204
00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:39,731
ALL: Aw!
205
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,560
We're driving in a
Car
206
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:43,697
Destination: Drug Dealer's
Bar
207
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,728
Pass the mic right over to
Charles
208
00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:48,136
We forgot Charles.
209
00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:51,700
But we can't turn back
'Cause we gone too farles
210
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:53,973
We have to turn back, though.
We can't leave him.
211
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:55,507
It was a good rhyme, though.
212
00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:58,882
Hey. Hey, buddy.
213
00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:00,918
Look, I'm not gonna
waste your time
214
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,579
with some lame excuse
215
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,020
about why we left
you behind, all right?
216
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,079
Just the truth.
217
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,521
Stevie and I
were taken hostage
218
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,787
by an Armenian
biker gang
219
00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:10,488
and thrown on a cargo
ship headed to Asia,
220
00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:11,962
but we're back now.
221
00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:14,329
Don't worry about it. You can
work the case without me.
222
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:17,330
I'm busy bonding with
my new desk mate, Paul.
223
00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:18,802
Hi, my name's Paul.
224
00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:20,805
Shh. Paul, nobody cares.
225
00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:23,000
Charles, I'm so sorry.
Don't be mad, okay?
226
00:07:23,075 --> 00:07:24,133
We need you to work
this case with us.
227
00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:25,603
And you're way
too good for Paul.
228
00:07:25,678 --> 00:07:26,872
Stop trying to flatter me.
229
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,709
Jake, face it,
I'm not a Beatsie Boy.
230
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,339
All right.
Well, then neither am I.
231
00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:32,148
The Beatsie Boys
are finished.
232
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,144
If you're gonna be part of
the group, we need a new name,
233
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,482
a name that you're
gonna come up with.
234
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,455
Police Pals.
Okay, it's decent.
235
00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:38,547
You can come up
with a couple options.
236
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:39,648
Not necessary.
That's the one.
237
00:07:39,725 --> 00:07:41,056
Okeydokey, let's go.
238
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:42,892
HOLT: So, Gina,
how's it going?
239
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:45,364
What's the gossip?
"What's the gossip?"
240
00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:48,127
You can't stand being in
your office with him, can you?
241
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:50,931
No, I'm just curious about your life.
I like to gab.
242
00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:52,402
So, uh, tell me about...
243
00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:55,763
...boys.
244
00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:57,639
Okay. I hate this.
245
00:07:57,710 --> 00:08:00,907
Captain, you've gotta stand up
to that office hog.
246
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,277
Be stern, like me.
247
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:05,647
Notice I'm not sharing a desk
with Flynt's assistant.
248
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:07,686
'Cause he's over there.
249
00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:10,921
No eye contact.
Get back to work. Ugh!
250
00:08:11,123 --> 00:08:12,112
Listen.
251
00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:13,453
You just say the word,
252
00:08:13,526 --> 00:08:16,620
and I will barge in there
and kick that dude out.
253
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:18,630
Don't be ridiculous.
He's my superior officer.
254
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:20,222
But more to the point,
he's a welcome guest,
255
00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:21,766
and I am a good host.
256
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,825
He locked you out of your
own office, didn't he?
257
00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:24,892
Yes, very much so.
258
00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:26,495
Oh, Raymond.
259
00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:29,067
Why do we all got
to sit in the back?
260
00:08:29,141 --> 00:08:31,609
Because we are all here together,
and we are all equals.
261
00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:33,667
Hey, I've got an idea.
262
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:35,338
Why don't we listen
to some sweet stakeout jams?
263
00:08:35,414 --> 00:08:36,642
Ooh, do you
have the satellite
264
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,047
radio station Sedan Rock?
265
00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:39,276
Seriously?
266
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,843
Why not just go straight for the
Toni Braxton while you're at it?
267
00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:44,321
Oh, so, now you're gonna make fun of Toni?
Who is this joker?
268
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,253
STEVIE: Oh, check it out.
Guy entering.
269
00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:47,681
Wait, I know that dude.
270
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,284
He buys from Ozerov.
271
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,727
I mean,
something's going down.
272
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,055
I say we gear up,
and we bust in.
273
00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:54,895
Like we did at Pacala
Ristorante, remember?
274
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,429
(DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
275
00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:00,469
That's how we do it
in Brooklyn.
276
00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:01,901
Yeah, okay,
it sounds pretty cool,
277
00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:04,101
but Jake and I already talked
about how we'd play this.
278
00:09:04,176 --> 00:09:06,644
We had a pretty sweet convo about it.
Remember?
279
00:09:07,079 --> 00:09:08,273
I think we should
do surveillance,
280
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:09,644
collect intel,
and build a case.
281
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:10,905
Sure.
282
00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:13,482
So, we all
got stories, pal.
283
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,581
Look. We need information.
284
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:18,123
If we bust in there and Ozerov
doesn't have any drugs,
285
00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:19,782
our whole operation is blown.
286
00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:20,985
But I know this guy,
all right?
287
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,493
He never works out
of one place for long.
288
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,462
I guarantee you
he has drugs on him
289
00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:26,623
and if we don't get
him now, we never will.
290
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:29,167
Well, too bad for you,
because Jake agrees with me.
291
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,497
We're always
on the same...
292
00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:34,167
Page?
Yes! Told you.
293
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,435
Actually, Charles,
I think Stevie's right.
294
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:37,669
No. You said "page."
295
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:40,177
I know, but he knows this
case, and I trust his gut.
296
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,613
But, hey, let's go catch
a bad guy together, right?
297
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:45,310
Gear up, Police Pals!
298
00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:46,874
Hey, what is that?
299
00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:48,318
Thought we were
Beatsie Boys.
300
00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:49,376
You didn't even tell him.
301
00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:52,816
Rosa, do you need to listen to it
that loud? (HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
302
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:53,916
Yes!
303
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,425
I'm trying to drown out
the sound of Ellen,
304
00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:57,894
the chat factory,
over there.
305
00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:00,360
My daughter got me
a juicer for Christmas.
306
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:03,331
Did you know that you can juice nuts?
What?
307
00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:05,801
I'm two seconds away
from juicing Ellen.
308
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,564
I know it's tough,
but Sarge...
309
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,331
Ah, no!
Shoo, shoo, shoo!
310
00:10:09,475 --> 00:10:10,772
Shoo! Shoo!
311
00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:12,708
Can you at least
put her on a leash?
312
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:14,746
She's a medical
professional. Okay?
313
00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:16,179
Would you keep
a doctor on a leash?
314
00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:18,273
That dog does not help you
with your foot pain.
315
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,251
You just want an excuse
to bring her everywhere!
316
00:10:20,319 --> 00:10:21,650
Your dog is a fraud.
317
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:22,710
Fraud dog!
Come on.
318
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,949
Fraud dog! Fraud dog!
319
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:26,013
Fraud dog!
Juice Ellen!
320
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:27,147
Juice Ellen!
Fraud dog!
321
00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:30,525
Whoa! Both of you,
outside now!
322
00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:32,029
I know
it's crowded in there,
323
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,030
and they're not very
considerate guests,
324
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:36,256
and they took my mouse,
325
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:37,760
and then they
took my keyboard,
326
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:39,868
and then they took
the whole computer.
327
00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:41,968
And when I had
nothing else to give,
328
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:44,270
they came for my yogurt.
329
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,669
No, not just any yogurt.
330
00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:49,775
Full-fat Greek
with a touch of honey.
331
00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:53,246
That's a once-a-week treat!
332
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:54,650
(MICROWAVE BEEPS)
333
00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:57,112
What the hell are you
guys doing out here?
334
00:10:57,189 --> 00:10:58,554
Finally eating breakfast.
335
00:10:58,624 --> 00:11:00,091
We snuck
the microwave out here
336
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,354
so we could cook our burritos
like real policemen.
337
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:04,362
HITCHCOCK: Now they have
to use the toaster oven.
338
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:07,024
Enjoy your 16-minute
cook times, idiots. (CHUCKLES)
339
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,500
Guys, this is amazing.
340
00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:11,661
Back off,
it's our microwave! Ours!
341
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,099
(GROWLS)
342
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,073
Nobody wants your microwave!
343
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:16,802
But look,
the Nine-Eight's stuff
344
00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:18,275
is blocking the windows.
345
00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:20,269
They can't see us out here.
346
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,745
It's so peaceful
347
00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:23,111
and spacious.
348
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:27,084
This could be
our new beginning.
349
00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:30,477
All right.
350
00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:32,353
Can't let Ozerov
ditch the drugs.
351
00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:34,052
We got to go in
fast and strong.
352
00:11:34,126 --> 00:11:35,991
I don't know about you,
but I can use some adrenalin.
353
00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:37,654
A little slap-slap-boom?
Hmm.
354
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:39,128
What's slap-slap-boom?
355
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,098
Oh, it's just this thing we used
to do to get each other pumped up
356
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:43,192
where we slap each other in the face.
You don't have to do it.
357
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,169
No, I want to.
I want to go first.
358
00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:47,137
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
359
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:48,929
Shh. There's movement.
360
00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:50,940
But I'm the only one
who got slapped in the face.
361
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,374
Charles, we gotta go!
362
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,570
NYPD! Show me your hands!
363
00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:59,311
Hey, Ozerov, I'll have
a martini with a twist.
364
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,782
The twist?
You're under arrest.
365
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:02,980
None for me, I'm driving...
366
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,079
You to jail.
367
00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:06,556
He's clean.
There's no drugs on him.
368
00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:09,253
Damn it. We wasted those
cool lines on nothing.
369
00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:10,754
Also, we blew the case.
370
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:11,956
That's obviously much worse.
371
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:13,020
That was my first thought.
372
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:17,161
Look, I know that we
didn't find any drugs,
373
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,760
but I still think
it was worth the risk.
374
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:21,204
Well, I think
it was a crap circus.
375
00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:23,400
This whole operation
is blown.
376
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:26,639
If you ask me, the Beatsie
Boys should be called
377
00:12:26,712 --> 00:12:28,976
the Thoroughly
Messed-Up Millies.
378
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,070
What?
379
00:12:30,149 --> 00:12:31,514
I can't even imagine
what you're going for.
380
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,211
I was being devastating!
381
00:12:33,285 --> 00:12:34,912
Look, man,
I get that you're pissed,
382
00:12:34,987 --> 00:12:36,579
but I am telling you,
Ozerov is dirty.
383
00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:38,418
Maybe, but if we had
staked the bar out,
384
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:40,550
we could've built up cases
against a dozen guys here.
385
00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:42,287
This place is
filled with criminals.
386
00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:43,760
I brought him in last month.
387
00:12:43,829 --> 00:12:44,818
Hey, Detective Boyle.
388
00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:45,955
Hi, Isaac.
389
00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:47,794
The only good thing is,
now this whole trio
390
00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:49,357
doesn't have to
work together anymore.
391
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,198
Yes, it does.
Charles, you did it.
392
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:52,396
You saved the case.
393
00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:53,495
What? Why? I didn't want to.
394
00:12:53,572 --> 00:12:54,664
Correct me if I'm wrong,
395
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,674
but consorting with known
felons is a parole violation,
396
00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:59,370
meaning we have grounds
to search Ozerov's home.
397
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:02,741
Hell, yeah!
Jakey P with the save! Uh!
398
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,373
PERALTA: Well, you know, Boyle
is the one who pointed it out.
399
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:06,144
He deserves the credit.
True, true, true.
400
00:13:06,218 --> 00:13:07,480
Good job, Earl!
401
00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:08,747
You know my name is Charles.
402
00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:14,218
So, if we're gonna start
a secret office on the roof,
403
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,317
we need equipment.
404
00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:17,021
That means chairs, desks,
405
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:18,085
printers, pens.
406
00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:19,495
But we gotta sneak it out,
407
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:21,123
so we need a distraction.
408
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,667
Okay, here is what
I'm thinking.
409
00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:24,530
We give that dog
a bunch of chocolates.
410
00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:25,695
It dies.
411
00:13:25,771 --> 00:13:26,795
While everyone celebrates...
412
00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:28,271
Okay, Amy's too close
to this.
413
00:13:28,340 --> 00:13:30,240
Rosa, you got any ideas?
414
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,277
Hitchcock and Scully just set
fire to the kitchen sink.
415
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:34,903
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
(SMOKE ALARM BEEPING)
416
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,242
Perfect!
417
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,339
Let's use that.
418
00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:40,408
I looked everywhere.
I didn't find anything.
419
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,817
Did you?
No.
420
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:44,082
But mirror-top coffee table,
421
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,624
iguana cage,
samurai swords on the wall...
422
00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:47,818
Either this guy
is a drug dealer,
423
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:49,554
or he used Nic Cage
as an interior designer.
424
00:13:49,628 --> 00:13:51,323
He might be a drug dealer,
but we have nothing on him.
425
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:52,830
Quick question, guys.
426
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:55,628
Why did the drug dealer
never do his dishes?
427
00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:58,295
Because he had drugs
in his dishwasher.
428
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,136
Oh, yeah!
The dishwasher?
429
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:01,195
Hit me.
430
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:02,596
Here, it's for you.
431
00:14:02,708 --> 00:14:03,697
Hello?
Hey.
432
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,141
What's up, dude? It's me.
433
00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:06,439
We got the drugs, man.
434
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,945
Hang on,
Charles wants to say hi.
435
00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:10,105
Do you have any milk?
436
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:13,344
Not a stranger in sight.
437
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,613
It's beautiful.
438
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,951
I've never heard
the printer sound so happy.
439
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,011
I feel like it knows.
440
00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:19,079
JEFFORDS: We did it.
441
00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:21,154
A new world.
442
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:23,855
This must be how
the Founding Fathers felt.
443
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:25,661
So,
444
00:14:26,465 --> 00:14:27,557
what are you doing out here?
445
00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:29,497
Captain, it's mayhem
in there.
446
00:14:29,568 --> 00:14:31,763
Those people are
messy and selfish.
447
00:14:31,837 --> 00:14:33,304
And chatty.
And out here,
448
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,464
we can actually
get work done.
449
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,030
But...
Sir, I'll handle this.
450
00:14:36,108 --> 00:14:37,132
We love it.
451
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,143
We're proud of you.
We want in.
452
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,678
No. You're acting
like little children
453
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:41,770
playing basketball
454
00:14:41,847 --> 00:14:44,782
who've fallen behind by
several two-pointer buckets,
455
00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:46,715
so you just take
your basket home,
456
00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:48,309
and now
no one else can play.
457
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,253
I know
it's not the time,
458
00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:51,721
but you gotta
watch basketball
459
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:53,052
if you're gonna
try to reference it.
460
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,319
Sergeant, this is
boorish behavior.
461
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,258
I wanted you
to be a good host.
462
00:14:56,328 --> 00:14:57,454
You told me
to make it work,
463
00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:59,326
and I came up
with a creative solution.
464
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,263
Diaz finished
her arrest reports.
465
00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:03,699
Santiago did
the filing of 10 men.
466
00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:04,929
HOLT: I don't
want to hear it.
467
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:08,872
Just clean up this mess
and get back inside.
468
00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:12,035
(PRINTER BEEPS)
469
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:13,100
Paper jam.
470
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:15,677
It does know.
471
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,875
Attenzione, dingbats.
472
00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:20,612
Perchance a riddle.
Shakespeare.
473
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:23,951
What has six thumbs and just
arrested a drug dealer?
474
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:25,550
BOTH: These guys.
475
00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:26,716
(LAUGHING)
476
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:28,759
Charles, thumbs up.
477
00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:30,454
I said "six thumbs"
and we're only showing four.
478
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:31,553
We're starting
to look like fools.
479
00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:32,722
STEVIE: Come on, Charles.
480
00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:33,787
There it is.
481
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:35,128
That's the ticket.
Whoo!
482
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:36,792
All right, man, I'm gonna go
check in with Flynt.
483
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,996
You do some research on where
we're gonna celebrate tonight.
484
00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:40,333
Here's my only requirement,
485
00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:42,931
it has to be at your house
'cause I ain't got no money.
486
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:44,839
Okay, how about at my house?
487
00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:46,537
Swurt.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
488
00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:49,336
Yes!
489
00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:50,872
(SIGHS)
490
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,008
BOYLE: Psst. Hey. Hey.
491
00:15:52,384 --> 00:15:53,442
What are you doing?
Come here.
492
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:56,944
What?
493
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,011
I think Stevie's bad news.
494
00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:00,183
What? Oh, come on, Charles.
495
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:02,652
You know, you've been acting
weird about Stevie all day.
496
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:03,884
I think you might be jealous.
497
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,157
Of course, I'm jealous.
498
00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:06,288
I was never hiding that.
499
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:07,992
How?
He's tall. He's funny.
500
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,261
He can pull off an earring.
501
00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:10,461
He doesn't have an earring.
502
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:11,730
But we both know
he'd look good with one.
503
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,601
Oh, my God... What do you
want me to say, Boyle?
504
00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:15,867
I've been trying to include
you in this all day long.
505
00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:18,375
And, yes,
I forgot you that one time,
506
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:19,775
but I made up for it.
507
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:20,834
I slapped you in the face.
508
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:21,971
You're supposed
to be my friend.
509
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:24,106
I'm an adult man,
I can have two close friends.
510
00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:25,582
Hell, I can have
three close friends.
511
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,243
You wouldn't.
I would.
512
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:28,377
(SCOFFS)
Maybe I'll get in touch
513
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:29,785
with my friend
James from college.
514
00:16:29,855 --> 00:16:31,254
Ooh. Or you know who just
looked me up online?
515
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,449
Brad from camp.
516
00:16:32,791 --> 00:16:34,019
Stevie planted the drugs.
517
00:16:34,893 --> 00:16:35,882
Come on!
518
00:16:35,961 --> 00:16:38,361
I looked in that dishwasher
before him, and it was empty.
519
00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:39,954
Stevie planted those pills.
520
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,966
But you're right,
he's the coolest!
521
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:44,093
You guys should go get your
ears pierced together.
522
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,103
Invite Brad.
It'll be smurt.
523
00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,464
It's "swurt", not "smurt".
524
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:52,034
So, joke's on you.
525
00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:53,542
Damn it, Stevie!
526
00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:56,337
Hey, I logged the drugs.
527
00:16:56,415 --> 00:16:58,349
You know what that means.
It's time to celebrate.
528
00:16:58,417 --> 00:17:00,908
You know what that means.
Let's eat big sandwiches!
529
00:17:00,986 --> 00:17:02,954
I gotta talk
to you in private.
530
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,284
Come on.
531
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:08,081
Okay.
532
00:17:09,628 --> 00:17:10,617
Uh...
533
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:11,952
This is cozy.
534
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,157
Well, the precinct
is so crowded,
535
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:14,961
this is the only place
no one can hear us talk.
536
00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:16,723
Listen.
537
00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:19,598
I know you planted the drugs
at Ozerov's place.
538
00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:21,605
What?
Charles checked the dishwasher,
539
00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:23,106
and he didn't
see any drugs.
540
00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:24,369
Yeah, well, they were there.
All right?
541
00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:25,501
I guess he just missed them.
542
00:17:25,577 --> 00:17:27,943
Probably busy hiking up his
pants above his belly button.
543
00:17:28,013 --> 00:17:29,480
He has to do that
because they don't make pants
544
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:30,640
short enough for him.
545
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:32,512
Look. Don't lie to me, man.
546
00:17:33,685 --> 00:17:36,449
Dude, the guy is a drug dealer. All right?
(GROANS)
547
00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:37,921
I wasn't gonna
let him walk again.
548
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:39,648
But you get it,
though, right?
549
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,124
You're not a tight-ass
like Charles.
550
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:42,490
You know,
I wish I was like Charles.
551
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,324
He's a good cop
and an honest person,
552
00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:47,092
and when we go on stakeouts,
we do listen to Toni Braxton,
553
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,895
and it's super sad,
and it's awesome.
554
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,799
I can't believe I'm saying this,
Stevie, but I gotta report you.
555
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:54,296
Ow!
556
00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:56,170
Did you just
Donkey Kong punch me?
557
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:57,765
There's not enough room
to regular punch you.
558
00:17:58,477 --> 00:17:59,466
(GROANS)
559
00:18:00,879 --> 00:18:01,868
(BOTH GROAN)
560
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,215
Ooh, all right. It's on.
561
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:05,511
What's going on?
Ah!
562
00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:06,675
He did plant the drugs.
563
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:07,741
You trusted me.
564
00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:09,142
Oh!
565
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,548
Son of a bitch! I hope there's
room in this fight for three.
566
00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:12,612
There's not.
567
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:20,529
You have a 2:30 meeting
with small-head, big-body.
568
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:22,089
I forgot to take his name.
569
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,191
D.A. Brayburn.
570
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:24,926
Deputy Inspector Flynt,
571
00:18:25,003 --> 00:18:26,630
do you mind if we have
a meeting here in the office?
572
00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:27,797
Actually, I do mind.
573
00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:29,306
I'm not really
in the mood for company.
574
00:18:29,374 --> 00:18:31,842
I just had a bad loss
in an online poker game.
575
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:33,138
HOLT: Of course.
576
00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:34,509
Anything for our guests.
577
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,172
PERALTA: Get back here,
you crap basket.
578
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:37,237
You're going down!
579
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:39,443
Help! He's attacking me
for no reason!
580
00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:40,882
(ALL GASP)
(GRUNTS)
581
00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:43,621
Stevie Schillens, you have
the right to remain...
582
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:44,747
A loser.
Noice.
583
00:18:44,823 --> 00:18:46,950
But, now legally,
I have to start over, Charles.
584
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:48,691
Stevie... Oh!
(ALL GASP)
585
00:18:49,561 --> 00:18:50,960
Get off him.
We just made up.
586
00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:52,152
(GRUNTING)
587
00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:55,392
Paul?
I thought we had something.
588
00:18:57,035 --> 00:18:58,024
Get Nine-Eight.
589
00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:01,097
Hope your dog will
help with neck pain.
590
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:02,739
She doesn't
help with any pain.
591
00:19:02,841 --> 00:19:03,865
I made it up.
592
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,543
Ha! I knew it!
593
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:06,900
DIAZ: Hey, Ellen.
594
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:08,168
I got your farm girl.
595
00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:09,236
You wouldn't.
596
00:19:10,782 --> 00:19:11,771
Bessy!
597
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:14,316
Terry got his computer back.
598
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,490
Oh, come on!
599
00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:19,852
(ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
600
00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:25,855
Sarge, take off your shirt!
601
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:27,455
It's restricting
your movement.
602
00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:30,364
(BULLHORN BLARES)
603
00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:33,703
What the hell
is going on here?
604
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:35,829
Yeah.
605
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:36,897
What are you guys doing?
606
00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:40,006
Brawling with
other police officers?
607
00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:41,403
What were you thinking?
608
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,812
Sir, I had nothing
to do with it.
609
00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,873
I was arresting
a dirty cop.
610
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:48,715
I heard you scream out
"I love this!"
611
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:49,811
Yes.
612
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:52,186
"This" being justice.
613
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:53,246
I love justice.
614
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:54,690
And to make matters worse,
615
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,355
our radiator was broken during
your wild street-ball scrum.
616
00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:00,330
So, now we have no heat.
617
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:02,026
Which means we'll have to
work in the freezing cold,
618
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:03,795
and our guests
from the Nine-Eight
619
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:06,303
will have to relocate again.
620
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:08,495
No smiles. No smiles.
621
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:10,207
This is a sad day
for our precinct.
622
00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:11,264
Dismissed.
623
00:20:11,643 --> 00:20:13,338
(ALL GRUMBLING)
624
00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:15,537
Captain.
625
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:17,081
You know what's kinda weird?
626
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:19,515
There was no one
fighting over by the radiator.
627
00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:21,917
You were the only
person standing near it.
628
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,857
I suppose, in the hubbub,
629
00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:29,390
I may have tripped
and busted a pipe.
630
00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:31,193
(ALL CLAMORING)
(METALLIC CLANK)
631
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:35,622
I knew it!
632
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,362
I knew you couldn't stand
having someone in your space.
633
00:20:38,437 --> 00:20:39,699
He used my letter opener
634
00:20:39,771 --> 00:20:41,432
to cut his
tuna sandwich in half!
635
00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:42,871
You were right.
636
00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:45,037
They were disrespectful
and had to go.
637
00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:47,041
And, yes, sometimes
you have to come up
638
00:20:47,112 --> 00:20:48,374
with a creative solution.
639
00:20:48,947 --> 00:20:50,312
And sometimes
just a bunch of dudes
640
00:20:50,382 --> 00:20:51,440
need to get
into a room and just...
641
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:52,708
(GRUNTING)
642
00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:57,314
Take that!
Yeah, yeah, yeah! (GRUNTS)
643
00:20:57,856 --> 00:20:59,585
That's not the lesson here.
644
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:01,285
Okay, Captain.
645
00:21:02,728 --> 00:21:06,528
BOTH: (SINGING)
Unbreak my heart
646
00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:10,234
Say you love me again
647
00:21:10,669 --> 00:21:12,728
You know what?
I like this song!
648
00:21:12,804 --> 00:21:14,704
This hurt that you caused
649
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:15,929
Hey, you don't
get to sing.
650
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:16,997
Shut up! Shut Up!
651
00:21:17,175 --> 00:21:19,405
(SCOFFS) The nerve.
Unbelievable.
652
00:21:20,078 --> 00:21:24,139
Uncry these tears
653
00:21:24,216 --> 00:21:28,414
I cried so many nights
654
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:36,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll