1 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,440 - Last day today. - Mm-hm. 2 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:38,040 - What do you fancy doing? - I'm doing it. 3 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,400 We've hardly seen anything of Benidorm. 4 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,440 Well, we came here to relax. 5 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,720 Would you come back here? 6 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:52,200 - Absolutely, like a rat up a drainpipe. - I wasn't asking you. 7 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,560 Oh, will you two give it a rest, please? 8 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,560 Is it too much to ask for one final day of peace and quiet? 9 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,800 That sounds good to me, 10 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,720 one last day in paradise before we head back to reality. 11 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,840 - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! - Aw! 12 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,200 Jodie! Jodie! Quick get out of the pool! 13 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,600 Bloody hell, Sheron, what you playing at? 14 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:12,480 - Quick! Quick! - What's going on? 15 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:16,720 I don't believe it! I don't believe it! 16 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:25,680 - Sir Henry! - Joyce, how are you? You're looking radiant. 17 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:29,400 Yes, we had a problem with the underfloor heating, it wouldn't turn off. 18 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:31,960 No, I mean you look enchanting, as ever. 19 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:36,040 - Oh, Sir Henry, please, people will talk. - Let them! 20 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,240 Les, no personal calls during work. 21 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,280 It's me son, Liam. 22 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:47,480 - One minute, outside. - You're all heart. 23 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,320 Everything all right, young 'un? 24 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,200 - To what do we owe this pleasure? - Joyce, I need a favour. 25 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,160 - I've been let down by The Benidorm Palace. - Really? 26 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,280 I thought their show was rather good. 27 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,080 - I'll be with you in a moment. - They've had a power cut. 28 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:03,760 It doesn't look as though 29 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:07,280 - they'll be able to host tonight's Pride Of Benidorm Awards. - I see. 30 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:11,200 I've heard so much about your newly refurbished Hawaiian function room. 31 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,160 You want to host The Pride Of Benidorm Awards here? 32 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:18,080 It would be an absolute life-saver, we're a sell-out. 33 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:22,160 No, I'm sorry, Sir Henry, we simply don't have the manpower. 34 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,960 Joyce, we really are on sticky wicket with this one. 35 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,360 I mean, obviously we asked The Asia Gardens and then The Sheraton 36 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,920 and then The Belroy and then The Three Seasons, 37 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,280 but after those you were the first place that sprang to mind. 38 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:41,000 I'm sorry, Sir Henry, as you can see, we really are very busy. 39 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:44,360 - I know, I miss you, too, son. - Les, I thought I said one minute! 40 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,040 I'm sorry Mrs Temple-Savage. Yes, pet? 41 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,080 I'm sorry we can't help you, Sir Henry. 42 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,200 Very best of luck in your search for a venue. 43 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,720 Les, I'll be in my office. 44 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,440 I think we can do better than relying on luck. 45 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,760 Oh, man! I can't believe how much I've slept. 46 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,520 I've wasted most of the day! 47 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,520 What? No, you ain't, it's only half ten. 48 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:17,840 - Oh, I've got half-five. - What? Mate, you need a new watch! 49 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,880 So, what we doing tonight? It's our last night. 50 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:23,440 Pride Of Benidorm Awards. Remember? 51 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,920 These are all the deets, they were pushed under my door when I got up. 52 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,480 - Who pushed it under your door? - The geezer we rescued? 53 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,480 - Geezer? - When we climbed the mountain, the other day? 54 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:36,160 Oh, yeah! Brokeback Mountain! 55 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:40,080 Mate, you need to stop telling people I took you up Brokeback Mountain. 56 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,280 Anyway, the geezer we rescued can't be there tonight 57 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,320 but we have definitely been nominated. 58 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:51,000 'Tiger Dyke and Joey Ellis - joint nomination, Hero Of The Year Award.' 59 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,480 - Tige. - Yeah, mate? 60 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,600 - You know when we came to Spain? - Yeah. 61 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,480 - And you told me to change my watch by one hour. - Yeah. 62 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,800 We just do that once, yeah? Not every day. 63 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,800 - Just once, mate. - Cool. 64 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,640 ...And as you are next on the reserve list 65 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:16,960 we are delighted to offer Jodie Dawson a place 66 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,960 on the Full-time Performing Arts course starting October the 5th. 67 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,240 Jodie! They've offered you a place! 68 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,520 Oh, my God! Amazing! 69 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:34,160 What do they mean, reserve list? You mean they didn't want her at first? 70 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:37,200 - Well done, my beautiful princess! - Jodie, high five! 71 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,280 Yay! Yay! 72 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,320 Somebody needs to give her a slap, she's hysterical. 73 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,760 - I'll give you a slap in a minute. - I got in! I got in! 74 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,520 - What is going on here? - Calm down, Jodie, calm down. 75 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,400 I got in! I got into stage school! 76 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:52,920 You did, darling! You did get in! Because you're the best. 77 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,800 Well, not quite the best, 78 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:58,440 on the reserve list after one of the actual best dropped out. 79 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:03,040 If you don't shut up, God help me, I am going to smash your face in. 80 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:08,440 Hey, hey, hey! There will be no smashing of faces! And no screamers. 81 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,120 This is a hotel, not the bin of loonies. 82 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,240 Sorry, pal, she just got a bit carried away. 83 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:16,400 OK, but no more! I am having my eyes peeled on you. 84 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,320 Sorry. 85 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,360 - Can I see? Can I see? - There you go. 86 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,640 - That'll be dear. - You can't put a price on talent. 87 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,960 I bet they have put a price on it and it'll be through t'roof. 88 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,480 - How much is it? - We'll talk about it later. 89 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,480 Oh, it'll be cheaper if you talk about it later, will it? 90 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:36,640 Dad! 91 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,680 Rob, why don't you take Jodie for another swim. 92 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,720 - We'll do the scene from Titanic, do you know it? - No. 93 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,760 I'll teach you it. 94 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,400 Whew! 95 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:56,280 - Well? - Three and a half thousand. 96 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,240 Three and a half grand a year? 97 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,600 - Shut up. - Three and a half thousand a year? 98 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,160 - A term. - What?! 99 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,200 Shut up! 100 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:08,920 - Don't be ridiculous. - Look, we can always - 101 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:12,440 - No! Absolutely not. No chance. Whatsoever. 102 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,200 End of discussion. 103 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,960 Oh! 104 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,320 Joyce Temple - 105 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,360 Oh. 106 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,040 Oh, here... 107 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,080 Joyce Temple - 108 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,800 Oh. 109 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:47,840 - Savage? What on earth is wrong? - Crystal? Is that you? 110 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,320 Of course it's me, who else looks like this? 111 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,760 Is this a recorded message? 112 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:59,720 Video conferencing, darling, don't tell me you've never done it before. 113 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,880 - Can you see me? - Yes. 114 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,920 And I'll get straight to the point, Savage, 115 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,320 I've had a call from my good friend Sir Henry 116 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,360 at the British Consulate in Benidorm. 117 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:12,080 - Savage! Will you pay attention? - Yes. Sorry, Crystal. 118 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:15,640 Now, Sir Henry needs the use of our large function room this evening 119 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,160 for an award show organised by the town hall. 120 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:22,160 Ah yes, he did mention something along those lines, the problem is - 121 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,520 - The mayor of Benidorm himself will be in attendance. 122 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,560 Normally we'd love to help out but - 123 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,600 - Right, I have a conference in Alicante this afternoon 124 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:33,040 but I should be with you before the show begins. 125 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:36,280 - You're coming here? - Elvis will give you an in-depth ETA. 126 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,480 I beg your pardon? 127 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,920 Elvis, my driver will be in touch to give you 128 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:44,600 a more accurate estimated time of arrival. 129 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,240 Oh, I see. 130 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:49,520 Don't mess this up, Savage, your job could well depend on it. 131 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,720 Oh! 132 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:08,640 So, yes, we are televised, yes, the mayor of Benidorm 133 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:12,120 and the CEO of Solana Hotels Europe will be here, 134 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,680 but if you manage to keep your head, 135 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,640 heads will not roll, if you see what I mean. 136 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,880 My staff are more than capable of running a simple awards ceremony. 137 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,920 The key phrase here is 'Don't panic', 138 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,360 or as Douglas Adams would have it, 139 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,000 make sure one knows where one's towel is! 140 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,680 Ah, I take it we have no Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy fans here. 141 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:48,640 Who loves you! Har-har-har! Woo! Sammy loves you! 142 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,880 Ah, Sammy. Sammy! Over here! 143 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,680 Lady Henry! Didn't recognise you with your clothes on! 144 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,800 Come here, here, you old bugger. Lovely to see you. 145 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,360 Very you, very you, very you! Lovely to see ya! 146 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:08,440 This, as I'm sure many of you recognise, is Sammy Valentino, 147 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,720 Local celebrity and TV personality 148 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:16,440 who will be hosting tonight's show. A very funny man. 149 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,880 Oh, shut up, you old tart, cheque's in the post! 150 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:23,000 And no, I did not guarantee it! Woo! 151 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:28,400 So, this is the Pride Of Benidorm, huh? 152 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:33,600 I think we should have gone to Lanzarote! 153 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,960 - He really is an extremely funny man. - Thank you. 154 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:48,640 Very good... OK, so if you'll all follow Sammy to the function room, 155 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,720 he'll give you an initial briefing. 156 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:54,600 Or a de-briefing if you're very lucky. 157 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,840 Don't be shy, darling, your mother wasn't! 158 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:01,120 - I'm sorry? What did you say about my mother? - A joke, I'm sure. 159 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:07,080 Yeah, just, just. Judging by that reaction I'd be coming off stage to the sound of my own footsteps! 160 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,080 Surely not for the first time. 161 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:10,920 - Sorry, love? - Nothing. 162 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,240 Miss Temple Savage, what is going on? 163 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,760 I did not understand one single word from this guy. 164 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,480 Stop! 165 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:25,080 Meester Fawlty! Meester Fawlty, I no understand Eengleeesh! 166 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:29,520 I am from Barcelona! Kitchen's on fire! 167 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,600 - Ah! - Ha-ha. 168 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:40,800 Right then. Nice to see you, to see you... nice! 169 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,240 Well, look at the muck in here, look, Clarke Gable. 170 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,280 Well, I'm cock-a-hoop. 171 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,760 - Right, which way to the stage, then? - This way? 172 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,320 - Please, walk this way. - This way? Got to walk this way. 173 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,360 Don't mention the war! 174 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,400 Hah! Funny voice. 175 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,200 Stick it right up 'em! Ha-ha-hah! 176 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:13,840 I'm sorry for shouting. 177 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:19,240 I'm not sorry for what I said, 178 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,280 but I am sorry for the way I said it. 179 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,880 - Where is everyone? - I've no idea. 180 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,040 - It's our last day, we should all be together. - True. 181 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:34,280 I bet they're gutted not to be soaking up this lovely atmosphere. 182 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,680 - Sheron, look - - No, I won't look, and I certainly won't listen. 183 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:40,080 You've had your say on the matter and that's fine. 184 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:43,480 I am going to find the money to put our daughter through stage school. 185 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,400 - Oh, for God's sake - - Don't you dare! 186 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:48,480 Don't you dare take that patronising tone with me! 187 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:51,200 How you gonna get £10,000? Rob a bank? 188 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,360 - You haven't got a gun, have you? - No, I haven't 189 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,840 and you should be extremely relieved about that. - I'm being practical. 190 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,960 What's your favourite song? 191 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,440 - What? - What is your favourite song of all time? 192 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:02,600 I don't know. 193 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,040 What if I had that gun pointing to your head 194 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,160 and you could listen to one song before you die, what would it be? 195 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,560 - Relax. - I am relaxed, I'm asking you a question. 196 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,560 No, Relax, by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. 197 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,360 So, what if... Really? 198 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,400 Yeah, top tune. 199 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:22,480 So, what if Holly Johnson's parents, when he said he wanted to be a singer, 200 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,520 had said, 'No, we're not gonna help you, 201 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,360 you've got to work in a shoe shop'? 202 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,120 - There is a slight difference. - Tell me the difference. 203 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,160 Holly Johnson can sing. 204 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,640 Oh. Ow. Sheron! Sheron! 205 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:46,520 And I'm sitting there, and Sinatra starts walking towards me, 206 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:48,600 and I'm chatting away and he walks up to me 207 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,560 and he says, 'Sammy, how's it going?' 208 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:53,840 and I said, 'Piss off, Frank, can't you see I'm with a bird?' 209 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,720 Bloody hell, don't tell me, 'Who's Frank Sinatra?' 210 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:06,200 I know who Frank Sinatra is. 211 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,680 I think I laughed the first time I heard that joke, 212 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:12,040 - sometime in the '70s. - Yeah, all right, Gomez, keep your hair on. 213 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,120 Me name's Les, not Gomez. 214 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:18,000 Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla, whatever. Why don't you pop back to your coffin 215 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,720 so me and sweet-cheeks can go through the drill? 216 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:24,360 - I think I might just stay here. - I'm fine, Les, believe me. 217 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,280 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 218 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,640 All right, I'll see youse later. 219 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:31,480 Yes, bye-bye, adios, auf wiedersehen, 220 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:34,880 parting is such sweet sorrow. Bye! Right, now - 221 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:37,200 Look, I have got other work I can be doing. 222 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:40,080 I'll tell you what, you can hand out some of these tickets 223 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,640 to some of the more attractive people of Benidorm. 224 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:44,520 Now, I know that's a bit of a tall order, 225 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:49,200 but I do not like an ugly front row. 226 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:53,720 No. We do not want an ugly front row. Do we? No, we do not. Ha-hah! 227 00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,000 No problem. 228 00:13:56,040 --> 00:14:00,720 Woo! Remember, straight back, got a lot of planning to do for tonight. 229 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,760 And remember, Sammy loves you! 230 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,040 So, back to reality tomorrow. 231 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,320 Yeah, gutted, man, totally gutted. 232 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:19,760 - Are you back to work on Monday? - Work?! 233 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,760 No, mate, didn't I tell you? 234 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,840 I forgot to tell them I was coming on holiday 235 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,840 and when I remembered the day before 236 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,680 they said if I went they'd replace me so... 237 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:32,360 - And you still came on holiday? - Yeah, man, I didn't wanna let you down. 238 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,400 Plus, I was looking forward to it. 239 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,080 So, what you gonna do for a job? 240 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,640 I don't know, something'll turn up, I guess. 241 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:41,760 - Another drink? - Yeah, mate, cool. 242 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:45,520 May as well get a round in while I can still afford it. 243 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:50,000 Do you get it? The drinks are free here. 244 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,280 Yeah, nice one. 245 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,240 Yeah, yeah, everything's cool, thanks. 246 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:16,240 Listen, Dad, just a quick one, have we got any vacancies at the moment? 247 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:21,480 Unskilled, definitely unskilled. 248 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:29,280 A beautiful drink for a beautiful lady. 249 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,320 Oh, shove it! 250 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,800 - What an absolute arsehole. - Oh, you served her, too? 251 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:43,040 What? No, man, what's-his-name in there. 252 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:47,600 Oh, Sammy Vaselino, you are right, he is an asshole. 253 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:51,040 Oh, Mateo, before I forget, are you still looking for somewhere to live? 254 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,000 - Yes, you know somewhere? - When Liam left Benidorm 255 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,800 his two flatmates didn't get anybody else to take his room 256 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,280 but now they're starting to feel the pinch. 257 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,960 - Pinch? - They need a flatmate. 258 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,160 - How much? - 50 euros a week all in. 259 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:08,440 - All in to what? - I mean including bills. 260 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:13,400 Liam's flatmates, hmm, I am not sure. Who are they? 261 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,640 Two dancers in their early 20s from the Benidorm Palace. 262 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,960 - I need this room. - Shall I tell them you're in? 263 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,480 - Yes, I am in. - Nae bother, I'll let them know. 264 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,480 What are you doing here in the shade? 265 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:31,960 - I've got it all worked out. - What? 266 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:35,000 - Jodie's school fees. - Oh, Sheron. 267 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:38,560 Listen, and this way your Dad doesn't have to live in the caravan. 268 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:42,000 So, we sell the caravan, that's got to be worth six grand, 269 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,400 that's almost the first two terms. 270 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,880 The last term comes from charging your Dad rent to live with us, 271 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,880 300 per calendar month, that's - - Whoa, whoa, hang on a minute. 272 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:55,080 - Charge me Dad rent? - Well, he doesn't want to stay in the caravan. 273 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:56,920 Anywhere else, he'd have to pay rent. 274 00:16:56,960 --> 00:17:00,120 You want me to charge me own Dad rent to stay in our house? 275 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,560 Better he pays us than someone he doesn't know. 276 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:06,320 Imagine he did pay rent, how long is this course? 277 00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:09,480 - Three years. - So, where's the other 20 grand coming from? 278 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:13,160 Have you got another four caravans you didn't tell me about? 279 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,840 - It's her dream. - I know it is, I know it is. 280 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:19,120 But it's just the wrong time with Rob going to uni and that. 281 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,280 Just because we can't send her to this school right now 282 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,000 doesn't mean she won't follow her dreams. 283 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:29,240 If she's got the talents... you think she has, 284 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:33,440 then it'll happen. But we can't afford this stage school. 285 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,600 It'll break her heart. 286 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,760 I'll make it up to her. Somehow. 287 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,640 Come on. 288 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,560 I want you to know, Sir Henry, 289 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,160 you may have won the battle but you will not win the war. 290 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:55,960 I'm sorry? 291 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,040 I told you we did not have the resources to host your evening 292 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:02,920 and you completely ignored me and went over my head. 293 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:07,080 Joyce, I need to apologise about that but you must understand, 294 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:11,320 I was at my wit's end. My back was against the wall and I panicked. 295 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,240 But I need you to know that I find you terribly attractive 296 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,080 and I would never normally do anything 297 00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,800 to undermine your authority or interrupt the running 298 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:23,000 of your extremely impressive operation here at The Solana. 299 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:24,920 What did you say? 300 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,520 I was at my wits end. My back was against the wall. 301 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,320 No, not that. 302 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,720 Er... I would never undermine your authority? 303 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,960 Something about an impressive operation? 304 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,400 You said you find me terribly attractive. 305 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,920 Oh. Yes. Yes, I did say that. 306 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,960 You've never said anything like that before. 307 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,080 Oh, I have, to my ex-wife. 308 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,640 Although that was the '80s. I was drinking rather heavily. 309 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,720 No, I mean, to me. 310 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:58,520 Oh. Well, one has to occasionally throw one's keys onto the table. 311 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,560 - Speaking metaphorically. - Oh, of course. 312 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,120 Perhaps we should continue this conversation another time, 313 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,000 somewhere slightly more appropriate? 314 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,720 Maybe I could take you up the Consulate. 315 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,880 - On a first date? - I'm sorry? 316 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:24,680 Oh. I see. Sorry. Yes, er... yes, that would be delightful. 317 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:29,320 Well, I'd better get on, we have Peter Andre booked for the cabaret, 318 00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:31,280 must make sure nothing goes wrong there. 319 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,400 - We've booked him before. - Really? 320 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,400 Peter Andre? Yes, we had him in Neptune's a couple of years ago. 321 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:41,520 Oh, heavens, and I thought we had something of a scoop. Never mind. 322 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:45,400 I'll call him and make sure he gives you an extra special performance. 323 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,440 Yes. Thank you. 324 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,720 Until this evening. 325 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:54,560 No problem, if you've got an evening planned, 326 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,320 I just thought I'd ask, as it's our last night. 327 00:19:57,360 --> 00:20:00,520 Why don't you come to this thing tonight? You might win an award! 328 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:04,080 - Joe, he won't win an award. - Well, what sort of attitude is that? 329 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,200 No, mate, he ain't been nominated. 330 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,480 I'll nominate him. 331 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,240 Shut up. Come if you want, it might be good. 332 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:15,640 Hello, I don't suppose you've got plans for tonight, have you? 333 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,640 I did but I'll cancel them for you, no problem. 334 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,480 I've got free tickets for The Pride Of Benidorm Awards. 335 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:25,360 - Oh, we're going, me and Joey have been nominated. - Really?! 336 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,200 Yeah, we can all go out for a drink after, if you want. 337 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,040 I've got arrangements after the show. 338 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,920 See you later. 339 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,320 Shut up! How did you manage that? 340 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,040 We're just going for a drink. 341 00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,560 Looks like I'll see you guys later after all. 342 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,960 Oh my God, you'll never guess what, Rob's got a date with Amber tonight. 343 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,000 I think I'll go for a swim. Last one, innit? 344 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:57,880 Yeah, man. Here, Joe, everything all right? 345 00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,120 Yeah, everything's cool, mate. 346 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:10,960 Jacqueline. 347 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,640 Oh, hello. 348 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,520 Can I join you? 349 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,560 If you want to. 350 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:25,320 Listen, I might have got wrong end of t'stick, 351 00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:28,040 but have I offended you in any way? 352 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,400 No, no you haven't. 353 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,400 It's just that last night I could have sworn 354 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,040 you gave me t'cold shoulder. 355 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,080 I was just a bit tired. 356 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,880 I really enjoyed t'night before, you know, t'time we spent together. 357 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:48,480 Eddie, I feel a bit silly but... well, I came out here yesterday 358 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:51,640 and I saw you flirting with that manageress. 359 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:56,440 And I don't know why it bothered me, we hardly know each other. 360 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:03,000 But... well, I suppose I just feel a bit vulnerable. 361 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:07,920 It feels strange, being on me own, after all these years. 362 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:09,600 I know what you mean. 363 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,600 That feeling of starting again... 364 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,080 it don't feel right at our age, does it? 365 00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:19,440 I can't help feeling my Donald would have coped a lot better on his own 366 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:21,840 if I'd been the first to go. 367 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:25,480 From what you told me he sounded a real character. 368 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:30,480 Oh, he was! Do you know, he used to say something 369 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:35,000 that I always thought was out of character for him, 370 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:39,440 'From the moment we're born we start to die.' 371 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:46,880 But now I understand, the clock is ticking from the word go. 372 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:53,240 We need to live life to the full and take all the opportunities it offers. 373 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:59,680 We can't go through life thinking 'what if?'. Do you know what I mean? 374 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:04,240 I do. I do know what you mean. 375 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,120 Buenas dias! 376 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,160 Buenas dias! Buenas dias! 377 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,680 Buenas dias! 378 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,600 Monty! What on are you doing here? 379 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:20,720 Joyce, I just picked up my tickets from The Benidorm Palace for tonight 380 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,520 and I found out you're hosting the Awards here. 381 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,760 Yes, I'm just helping out an old friend. 382 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,160 - Not Sir Henry? - Who? 383 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,360 Oh, erm, yes, kind of. 384 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,400 - He is an absolute bastard, you know that, don't you? - Really? 385 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,680 I don't like to speak ill of others. 386 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,320 Yes, I can see that. 387 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:41,760 But he is an absolute bastard. And a womaniser. 388 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,440 Really?! 389 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,880 Oh yes, he's been through more middle-aged women than Gordon's gin. 390 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,480 I'd steer very well clear of that one, if I were you. 391 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,600 That's enough about him, I'm here to talk about us. 392 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:56,640 - Us? - Do you mind? 393 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,880 Joyce, I've been thinking, 394 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,800 maybe I was a bit hasty, leaving the other night. 395 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:11,440 Monty, I had no idea what you were talking about when you ran off. 396 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:15,720 All I know is, we were supposed to be spending some time together 397 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:19,320 and I spent the evening on my balcony alone. 398 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,720 - So it was a misunderstanding! - Monty, I've got to get on. 399 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:26,960 Joyce, would you do me the honour of accompanying me 400 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,640 to The Pride Of Benidorm Awards tonight? 401 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:36,320 Maybe pop into Mr Wu's after? A la carte? Chips and Rice? 402 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:38,360 No. 403 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,040 Oh, well, don't mince your words. 404 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,880 I'm sorry Monty, I have a hotel to run. 405 00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:46,640 I'm sure I'll see you at some point, I'll be in and out all night. 406 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,040 I was hoping for something similar myself. 407 00:25:04,580 --> 00:25:07,740 ♪ You came in 408 00:25:08,740 --> 00:25:12,100 ♪ That's what my little heart was looking for 409 00:25:12,780 --> 00:25:14,860 ♪ Laughter in the rain 410 00:25:17,060 --> 00:25:20,420 ♪ Feeling like a fool in love again... 411 00:25:21,620 --> 00:25:23,500 I think I understand. 412 00:25:24,140 --> 00:25:26,860 Well, the problem is, with the mix-up with this reserve list 413 00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:32,420 they sent the wrong email out. I'm so sorry, darling. 414 00:25:33,380 --> 00:25:36,260 But your grandad's still buying you that karaoke machine. 415 00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:38,300 It's all paid for. 416 00:25:39,620 --> 00:25:42,860 - I'm glad they made a mistake. - What do you mean? 417 00:25:42,900 --> 00:25:44,900 Well, even though I'd love to go, 418 00:25:44,940 --> 00:25:46,780 it wouldn't be fair on you and me Dad 419 00:25:46,820 --> 00:25:48,820 because it's such a lot of money. 420 00:25:53,780 --> 00:25:56,660 So, is it all right if I go to this awards thing, then? 421 00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:04,020 Hello? 422 00:26:05,380 --> 00:26:11,060 Ladies and gentlemen, senors and - what is it? - senoritas, 423 00:26:11,100 --> 00:26:14,700 welcome to The Pride Of Benidorm Awards. 424 00:26:14,740 --> 00:26:20,340 Will you please welcome your host, TV's own Sammy Valentino! 425 00:26:20,900 --> 00:26:23,340 Thank you! Woo-hoo! 426 00:26:23,380 --> 00:26:29,020 Woo hoo! Thank you, thank you, muchas gracias. 427 00:26:29,060 --> 00:26:32,980 Please don't, please don't, please don't... stop. Oh, you have. 428 00:26:34,100 --> 00:26:38,020 Do we have a show for you this evening! Do we have a show? 429 00:26:38,060 --> 00:26:40,260 Yeah. Nobody tells me nothing around here. 430 00:26:40,300 --> 00:26:44,740 But before we carry on with tonight's proceedings, there's one woman I'd like to thank. 431 00:26:44,780 --> 00:26:48,540 Please give a round of applause for the lovely Joyce Savage Temple. 432 00:26:48,580 --> 00:26:52,860 Yes, the manageress of the Solana, yes, manageress of the Solana hotel 433 00:26:52,900 --> 00:26:55,780 that stepped in at the very last minute 434 00:26:55,820 --> 00:27:01,500 and gave us this um... this... What exactly is this place? 435 00:27:01,540 --> 00:27:04,420 It's like a cross between a village hall and DFS. 436 00:27:06,620 --> 00:27:08,020 Kkkkk... 437 00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:12,020 Actually, between us, I had lunch today with Joyce, you know, we had lunch. 438 00:27:12,060 --> 00:27:16,060 She looked across the table, she said, 'Sammy, how do you fancy a quickie?' 439 00:27:16,100 --> 00:27:19,820 I said, Joyce, 'I think you might have misread the menu, it says quiche.' 440 00:27:21,300 --> 00:27:24,380 - All right, boys, have you won yet? - It's just starting. 441 00:27:24,780 --> 00:27:29,580 Well, without further ado, it's time for our very first award. 442 00:27:31,420 --> 00:27:33,660 - Who loves you? - Sammy! 443 00:27:33,700 --> 00:27:35,100 ♪ Hello 444 00:27:36,940 --> 00:27:40,060 ♪ Is it me you're looking for? 445 00:27:40,580 --> 00:27:44,100 - Lovely new singer! - Oh, I know, he's fabulous. 446 00:27:44,140 --> 00:27:46,860 It's Marc Marcus, the Lionel Richie of Benidorm. 447 00:27:47,980 --> 00:27:50,740 There you go, Kenneth, another toad in the hole. 448 00:27:50,780 --> 00:27:53,900 - Thank you, Miss Conroy. - Will you want another pudding, as well? 449 00:27:53,940 --> 00:27:57,460 Lesley, two toad-in-the-holes and a jam roly-poly is enough for any man. 450 00:27:57,500 --> 00:28:00,340 Even one who's worked as hard as I have today. I'm not a pig. 451 00:28:00,380 --> 00:28:03,860 It's not on the menu but there's a bit of spotted dick from yesterday. 452 00:28:03,900 --> 00:28:08,220 Ooh, you temptress! Go on then, just a bit, plenty of custard. 453 00:28:08,260 --> 00:28:11,340 Hey, good new singer this. 454 00:28:11,380 --> 00:28:15,300 - Stick around, might be someone else you like later, too. - Oh, champion! 455 00:28:16,300 --> 00:28:19,580 ♪ For I haven't got a clue 456 00:28:20,300 --> 00:28:23,900 ♪ But let me start by saying 457 00:28:25,060 --> 00:28:27,060 ♪ I love you... 458 00:28:27,860 --> 00:28:31,380 I must admit you have both worked very hard today. 459 00:28:31,420 --> 00:28:33,820 Well, we had to we were rushed off our feet. 460 00:28:33,860 --> 00:28:36,420 Kenneth, any news on that stylist Trev recommended? 461 00:28:36,460 --> 00:28:38,660 All in good time, Troy, all in good time. 462 00:28:39,340 --> 00:28:42,140 And thank you to all my patients, to the ones who lived 463 00:28:42,180 --> 00:28:45,020 and also to the ones who died. 464 00:28:45,060 --> 00:28:48,620 I could not have done this without you, you are my inspiration, 465 00:28:48,660 --> 00:28:53,140 you are the wind beneath my wings! Thank you! Muchas gracias! 466 00:28:54,020 --> 00:28:59,180 Yeah, thank you, Dr Lugo. Thank you! Yeah, Dr Lugo, there. 467 00:28:59,220 --> 00:29:03,620 The next award is - Oh, oh, we like this one, it's the Hero Award, 468 00:29:03,660 --> 00:29:08,740 an award recognising bravery and courage in the face of adversity. 469 00:29:09,780 --> 00:29:12,660 I should be in the running for that one, shouldn't I? 470 00:29:13,860 --> 00:29:17,020 And now for the nominations for our next award, 471 00:29:17,060 --> 00:29:21,540 can we have a warm hand on her entrance. Stop it! 472 00:29:23,220 --> 00:29:25,220 Amber! 473 00:29:26,020 --> 00:29:28,220 - Amber! Amber's here everybody. - Woo! 474 00:29:29,820 --> 00:29:33,940 Amber... ber. Amber. 475 00:29:35,260 --> 00:29:38,500 Just waiting for her to give me the green light. 476 00:29:39,300 --> 00:29:42,140 Sammy loves you! 477 00:29:42,180 --> 00:29:45,980 Go on, get off the stage, off the stage! My show, my rules. 478 00:29:46,020 --> 00:29:47,900 Amber, lovely lady. 479 00:29:47,940 --> 00:29:49,820 Ok, right. 480 00:29:49,860 --> 00:29:53,140 The nominations for the Hero Award are as follows... 481 00:29:53,580 --> 00:29:55,460 Juan-Carlos Escribano. 482 00:29:57,340 --> 00:29:59,140 Victor Marquez. 483 00:29:59,540 --> 00:30:03,020 Tiger Dyke & Joey Ellis, couple of local lads there. Wonderful. 484 00:30:03,540 --> 00:30:06,460 And the winner is... 485 00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:09,380 Oooooh, drum roll. 486 00:30:10,940 --> 00:30:12,940 Bit of flamenco, for the locals. 487 00:30:14,820 --> 00:30:17,220 The winner - or should I say the winners? - are... 488 00:30:17,260 --> 00:30:20,100 Tiger Dyke & Joey Ellis! 489 00:30:20,140 --> 00:30:25,540 For rescuing a fellow mountaineer on the Sierra Helada here in Benidorm. 490 00:30:26,660 --> 00:30:31,900 And here to present the award is Benidorm's very own mayor, 491 00:30:31,940 --> 00:30:34,540 Agustin Navarro! 492 00:30:34,580 --> 00:30:36,580 Woo-woo-woo! 493 00:30:43,380 --> 00:30:45,100 Yes, wonderful. 494 00:30:46,100 --> 00:30:50,060 I am so sorry, Peter, I came as soon as you called, is there a problem? 495 00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:54,300 Joyce, will you please tell this man I have been booked for this show. 496 00:30:54,340 --> 00:30:56,620 Of course you're booked, I confirmed it myself. 497 00:30:56,660 --> 00:31:00,140 Thank you! I've got Lady Gaga sitting in me van one show down 498 00:31:00,180 --> 00:31:01,900 thanks to me taking on this solo gig. 499 00:31:01,940 --> 00:31:05,260 Oh, hi, mate, you must be Henry, sorry I'm late - 500 00:31:06,220 --> 00:31:09,060 - Gordon, what are you doing here? - Spencer, I was here first. 501 00:31:09,100 --> 00:31:12,300 Don't call me Spencer when I'm in character, OK? My name is 'Peeder'. 502 00:31:12,340 --> 00:31:14,700 I'm sorry, when we made the booking we stressed 503 00:31:14,740 --> 00:31:16,660 we wanted the original Peter Andre. 504 00:31:16,700 --> 00:31:18,700 That's me, I am The Original Peter Andre. 505 00:31:18,740 --> 00:31:21,020 Five years in Benidorm and still going strong. 506 00:31:21,060 --> 00:31:22,820 No, the one and only Peter Andre. 507 00:31:22,860 --> 00:31:25,540 That's me, the one and only Peter Andre. 508 00:31:25,580 --> 00:31:27,500 Joyce, can you sort this out, please? 509 00:31:28,140 --> 00:31:30,140 I turned down a wedding in Polop for this. 510 00:31:30,180 --> 00:31:32,940 I didn't know there were two Peter Andres in Benidorm. 511 00:31:32,980 --> 00:31:36,700 There's only one Peter Andre tribute act in Benidorm and I am he. 512 00:31:36,740 --> 00:31:40,100 - We didn't want a tribute act. - Oh, for goodness sake! 513 00:31:40,140 --> 00:31:44,020 We've had this before. We've got four Olly Murs tributes in Benidorm. 514 00:31:44,060 --> 00:31:46,020 Not one of them is under 40. 515 00:31:46,860 --> 00:31:48,980 There's only one way to sort this out. 516 00:31:49,020 --> 00:31:51,060 - Let's hear you both sing. - What? 517 00:31:51,100 --> 00:31:53,100 ♪ I stop and stare at you 518 00:31:53,140 --> 00:31:55,100 ♪ Walking on the shore 519 00:31:55,140 --> 00:31:57,140 ♪ I try to concentrate 520 00:31:57,180 --> 00:31:59,020 ♪ My mind wants to explore - 521 00:31:59,060 --> 00:32:01,740 - What kind of accent's that, mate? - Shut up! 522 00:32:01,780 --> 00:32:03,540 ♪ The tropical scent of you 523 00:32:03,580 --> 00:32:05,500 ♪ Takes me up above 524 00:32:05,540 --> 00:32:07,100 ♪ And, girl, when I look at you - 525 00:32:07,140 --> 00:32:09,020 OK, that's enough, enough. 526 00:32:09,060 --> 00:32:12,460 It wasn't... terrible. It's your turn. 527 00:32:12,500 --> 00:32:15,340 - I don't have to compete with that, do I? - Fine, I'll go on. 528 00:32:15,380 --> 00:32:17,460 No, it's OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. 529 00:32:19,860 --> 00:32:21,700 - We're waiting. - Yeah, I know. 530 00:32:25,140 --> 00:32:27,500 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 531 00:32:27,540 --> 00:32:29,420 ♪ Mysterious girl 532 00:32:29,460 --> 00:32:31,860 ♪ I wanna get close to you 533 00:32:32,460 --> 00:32:34,900 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh 534 00:32:34,940 --> 00:32:37,020 ♪ Mysterious girl 535 00:32:37,060 --> 00:32:39,500 ♪ Move your body close to mine - 536 00:32:39,540 --> 00:32:41,820 - I'm sorry, do you have a second song? 537 00:32:41,860 --> 00:32:43,740 ♪ Girl, you are me heart's desire 538 00:32:44,100 --> 00:32:45,860 ♪ And you alone you set me soul on fire 539 00:32:45,900 --> 00:32:49,740 ♪ Me tell dem, girl, you are me heart's desire and you alone 540 00:32:49,780 --> 00:32:51,580 ♪ Watch dis! ♪ 541 00:32:51,620 --> 00:32:54,660 - Who are you doing now? - Bubbler Ranx, does the rap in that song. 542 00:32:54,700 --> 00:32:56,980 Two for the price of one, can't argue with that! 543 00:32:57,020 --> 00:33:00,660 Not being funny, mate, you look nothing like Peter and this is clearly a wig! 544 00:33:00,700 --> 00:33:04,140 Oi, what do you think you're doing? Ooh, geroff! 545 00:33:06,020 --> 00:33:08,020 Get off! 546 00:33:10,220 --> 00:33:12,420 - No, pl- - Oh, for goodness sake! 547 00:33:12,460 --> 00:33:14,660 Will the real Peter Andre please stand up? 548 00:33:15,860 --> 00:33:17,700 See. Told you it was a wig. 549 00:33:19,180 --> 00:33:20,940 Come on, mate, get up. 550 00:33:20,980 --> 00:33:22,980 Mate, come on. 551 00:33:23,500 --> 00:33:25,900 OK, come on, cobber, wake up. 552 00:33:27,300 --> 00:33:29,620 Seriously, wake up! 553 00:33:30,740 --> 00:33:32,820 Oh, shit! 554 00:33:32,860 --> 00:33:34,860 Where are you going?! 555 00:33:43,740 --> 00:33:45,660 Unfortunately, ladies and gentlemen, 556 00:33:45,700 --> 00:33:48,140 we're coming to the end of our evening. 557 00:33:48,180 --> 00:33:51,700 Oh! - Ah, yes, I know. Who loves ya, who loves ya? 558 00:33:51,740 --> 00:33:53,740 Sammy loves you, that's right. 559 00:33:53,780 --> 00:33:56,500 Normally somebody tells me what's about to go... 560 00:33:56,540 --> 00:33:58,980 It doesn't matter, cos normally what happens, 561 00:33:59,020 --> 00:34:01,500 I'll stand with my back to the curtain, like this, 562 00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:03,860 and somebody will give me a little poking. 563 00:34:07,860 --> 00:34:09,460 Can't touch you for it! Ooh! 564 00:34:09,500 --> 00:34:11,380 Oh, there it goes. Oh! 565 00:34:11,420 --> 00:34:12,420 Oh, eh? 566 00:34:12,460 --> 00:34:14,460 Only hurts the first time 567 00:34:18,180 --> 00:34:19,980 What are we supposed to do now? 568 00:34:20,020 --> 00:34:23,460 Thank God Crystal never turned up, I could lose my job over this! 569 00:34:23,500 --> 00:34:27,820 Savage! What the hell is going on here? Hello, Henry. 570 00:34:28,340 --> 00:34:30,340 Crystal! You came! 571 00:34:30,940 --> 00:34:33,900 What is that idiot on the stage babbling on about? 572 00:34:35,220 --> 00:34:37,580 I'm so sorry, Crystal, he's just trying to fill in 573 00:34:37,620 --> 00:34:39,340 while we sort out the final act. 574 00:34:39,380 --> 00:34:41,380 Oh, well, where is the final act? 575 00:34:41,980 --> 00:34:43,980 That's him there. 576 00:34:45,020 --> 00:34:47,940 You mean you have no act to close the show with? 577 00:34:48,140 --> 00:34:51,020 I don't suppose you could give us a tune, could you? 578 00:34:53,900 --> 00:34:55,900 ♪ What a feeling 579 00:34:55,940 --> 00:34:58,460 ♪ When we're dancing on the ceiling 580 00:34:59,820 --> 00:35:01,820 ♪ Whoa, got a feeling... 581 00:35:02,220 --> 00:35:05,260 Hey, Mateo, did you pay your deposit for the flat? 582 00:35:05,780 --> 00:35:08,300 Yes, I paid into the bank account you gave me. 583 00:35:08,340 --> 00:35:11,860 It is going to be a hard life living with two 20-year-old dancers 584 00:35:11,900 --> 00:35:14,420 but it is a crossover I will have to bear. 585 00:35:14,460 --> 00:35:18,220 - Champion. George and Fred are coming in tonight. - Who is George and Fred? 586 00:35:18,740 --> 00:35:20,740 Your new flatmates. 587 00:35:21,660 --> 00:35:23,660 Yes, sir? 588 00:35:24,820 --> 00:35:26,820 ♪ The French are glad to die for love 589 00:35:29,340 --> 00:35:34,100 ♪ They delight in fighting duels 590 00:35:34,780 --> 00:35:38,460 ♪ But I prefer a man who lives 591 00:35:38,500 --> 00:35:40,340 ♪ And gives expensive jewels 592 00:35:46,380 --> 00:35:48,540 ♪ A kiss on the hand 593 00:35:48,580 --> 00:35:51,340 ♪ May be quite continental 594 00:35:51,380 --> 00:35:55,340 ♪ But diamonds are a girl's best friend. 595 00:35:56,220 --> 00:35:58,460 ♪ A kiss may be grand 596 00:35:58,940 --> 00:36:00,700 ♪ But it won't pay the rental 597 00:36:00,940 --> 00:36:03,020 ♪ On your humble flat 598 00:36:03,580 --> 00:36:05,580 ♪ Or help you at the automat 599 00:36:06,220 --> 00:36:08,500 ♪ Men grow cold 600 00:36:08,540 --> 00:36:10,580 ♪ As girls grow old 601 00:36:10,620 --> 00:36:12,700 ♪ And we all lose our charms in the end 602 00:36:15,580 --> 00:36:17,540 ♪ But square-cut or pear-shaped 603 00:36:18,180 --> 00:36:20,780 ♪ These rocks don't lose their shape. 604 00:36:20,820 --> 00:36:24,020 ♪ Diamonds are a girl's best friend. 605 00:36:26,980 --> 00:36:28,620 Tiffany's! 606 00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:33,460 ♪ Cartier! 607 00:36:35,580 --> 00:36:36,740 ♪ Black Starr 608 00:36:36,780 --> 00:36:38,180 ♪ Frost Gorham 609 00:36:38,220 --> 00:36:41,500 ♪ Talk to me, Harry Winston, tell me all about it 610 00:36:41,540 --> 00:36:45,340 - Who is she? - Dunno. She's good, though! 611 00:36:45,380 --> 00:36:47,380 Yeah, man! 612 00:36:47,900 --> 00:36:49,900 Listen, Joe... 613 00:36:50,220 --> 00:36:52,060 Yeah, Tige? 614 00:36:52,100 --> 00:36:55,300 Mate, I got an email from my Dad saying he offered you a job. 615 00:36:55,580 --> 00:36:57,580 Yeah. he did, as it goes. 616 00:36:58,340 --> 00:37:00,740 - But you turned him down. - Yeah... 617 00:37:00,780 --> 00:37:03,580 it's not really what I'm looking for at the moment. 618 00:37:03,820 --> 00:37:05,820 What are you looking for? 619 00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:10,460 Tiger, I've really enjoyed this holiday but... 620 00:37:10,500 --> 00:37:15,980 I admit I'm not the brightest person and I know I sometimes get things wrong 621 00:37:16,020 --> 00:37:19,660 but... I think at times I've embarrassed you on this holiday 622 00:37:19,700 --> 00:37:22,060 and I wouldn't wanna do that to you at work, as well. 623 00:37:22,100 --> 00:37:26,180 - Mate, what are you talking about? - Like today, when you told me to shut up and well, 624 00:37:26,220 --> 00:37:29,220 I really like hanging with you, man, 625 00:37:29,260 --> 00:37:31,220 and I don't wanna ruin our friendship. 626 00:37:31,260 --> 00:37:33,580 I didn't say shut up! I mean when I said shut up 627 00:37:33,620 --> 00:37:35,780 I just mean shut up, not 'shut up!' 628 00:37:35,820 --> 00:37:38,140 - Shut up?! - Serious! 629 00:37:38,620 --> 00:37:41,460 Oh, my days! I thought you were mad with me! 630 00:37:41,500 --> 00:37:44,580 - Don't be stupid! - Hey, don't call me stupid! 631 00:37:46,180 --> 00:37:48,900 Jokes! 632 00:37:51,180 --> 00:37:53,180 So you'll take the job? 633 00:37:53,220 --> 00:37:55,220 Yeah, man, I'm not a complete idiot! 634 00:37:56,340 --> 00:38:02,100 ♪ Diamonds are a girl's best friend 635 00:38:03,820 --> 00:38:05,820 ♪ Best friend! 636 00:38:14,820 --> 00:38:16,980 Thank you! 637 00:38:17,860 --> 00:38:21,060 You're so sweet, thank you so much. 638 00:38:22,940 --> 00:38:25,540 Saved your ass again, Savage. 639 00:38:32,100 --> 00:38:34,060 He's fine but he may have concussion. 640 00:38:34,100 --> 00:38:35,700 We've called an ambulance. 641 00:38:35,740 --> 00:38:39,620 Henry, don't know who your mate is but she's tearing the place apart. 642 00:38:40,860 --> 00:38:45,100 Oh, is it all right if I go, Joyce? My shift finished half an hour ago. 643 00:38:45,340 --> 00:38:48,580 - Yes, of course. - No, no, no, no, no, no. 644 00:38:48,620 --> 00:38:51,580 It's all part of the show, the big finale, big bow at the end. 645 00:38:51,620 --> 00:38:54,100 I'm fine, you can have my share of the applause. 646 00:38:54,140 --> 00:38:56,260 You'll find that wasn't a suggestion, love. 647 00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:58,220 She said she doesn't want to. 648 00:38:58,260 --> 00:39:00,820 Ooh, look, it speaks. 649 00:39:00,860 --> 00:39:02,660 Let go of her. 650 00:39:02,700 --> 00:39:04,980 Why don't I sing Swannee River and you can jump in? 651 00:39:05,020 --> 00:39:06,860 I said let go of her! 652 00:39:09,420 --> 00:39:13,900 Oh, God! Oh. Oh, Sammy... you're wet. 653 00:39:16,060 --> 00:39:17,860 Oh, you stink! 654 00:39:17,900 --> 00:39:22,020 And now to start our karaoke, Kenneth and a very special guest. 655 00:39:33,100 --> 00:39:37,060 ♪ I'm so alone, my love, without you 656 00:39:40,260 --> 00:39:44,660 ♪ You're part of everything I do 657 00:39:48,820 --> 00:39:55,940 ♪ When you come back and you're beside me 658 00:39:57,020 --> 00:40:02,700 ♪ These are the words I'll say to you 659 00:40:04,220 --> 00:40:11,420 ♪ Welcome home, welcome 660 00:40:13,500 --> 00:40:19,740 ♪ Come on in and close the door 661 00:40:21,620 --> 00:40:27,860 ♪ You've been gone, too long 662 00:40:29,580 --> 00:40:36,540 ♪ Welcome you're home once more... 663 00:40:37,380 --> 00:40:40,500 So, basically, I'm staying here for a couple more weeks. 664 00:40:40,740 --> 00:40:42,580 What do you mean you're staying here? 665 00:40:42,620 --> 00:40:45,220 I don't know what part of that you don't understand. 666 00:40:45,260 --> 00:40:47,340 I'm extending my holiday. 667 00:40:47,380 --> 00:40:50,660 - You can't stay here on your own. - Who said I was staying here on my own? 668 00:40:56,020 --> 00:40:58,420 And before you say anything, we're just friends. 669 00:40:58,740 --> 00:41:03,020 So it's two weeks here then back to Leeds to house sit for Ron Pickford. 670 00:41:03,060 --> 00:41:06,740 - Ron Pickford? - You know Ron Pickford, all my gear's in his garage. 671 00:41:06,780 --> 00:41:10,020 He's off on a round the world cruise, three months. 672 00:41:10,060 --> 00:41:12,060 Three months? 673 00:41:12,740 --> 00:41:14,620 Then our Rob'll be at uni. 674 00:41:14,660 --> 00:41:17,020 Well, if I've not found somewhere to live by then 675 00:41:17,060 --> 00:41:19,740 maybe I can come and stay with you for a few weeks? 676 00:41:20,420 --> 00:41:23,420 You can come and stay with us for as long as you like, Eddie. 677 00:41:23,460 --> 00:41:26,060 - Do you mean that Sheron? - Yeah, I do. 678 00:41:27,660 --> 00:41:29,660 Well, you might be glad of t'company 679 00:41:29,700 --> 00:41:32,660 because I'm paying for our Jodie to go to stage school. 680 00:41:32,700 --> 00:41:35,460 Grandad! Do you mean it? 681 00:41:35,500 --> 00:41:37,580 No, you can't. - Dad - 682 00:41:37,620 --> 00:41:40,300 - I've made up my mind. We need to live life to t'full 683 00:41:40,340 --> 00:41:43,140 and take all the opportunities it offers. 684 00:41:43,180 --> 00:41:46,500 We can't go through life thinking 'what if?' 685 00:41:46,540 --> 00:41:48,540 Thank you, Grandad, I love you. 686 00:41:54,060 --> 00:41:56,060 I love you, too, kid. 687 00:41:56,740 --> 00:41:58,740 Now, whose round is it? 688 00:42:01,020 --> 00:42:06,060 ♪ Singing these words with all your heart 689 00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:14,740 ♪ Welcome home, welcome 690 00:42:16,860 --> 00:42:23,260 ♪ Come on in and close the door 691 00:42:25,220 --> 00:42:31,060 ♪ You've been gone, too long 692 00:42:33,100 --> 00:42:35,940 ♪ Welcome 693 00:42:37,340 --> 00:42:43,860 - ♪ You're home once more - ♪ I'm home once more ♪ 694 00:42:46,420 --> 00:42:48,420 Hi, Dad! 695 00:43:06,980 --> 00:43:09,420 So, why didn't you say you were coming back, young 'un? 696 00:43:09,460 --> 00:43:12,420 Why just tell someone when you can say it in a song? 697 00:43:12,460 --> 00:43:15,700 So, what's going on? You've given up your job in Madrid? 698 00:43:15,740 --> 00:43:19,020 I've given them notice but I haven't saved as much as I thought I would. 699 00:43:19,060 --> 00:43:24,020 - Can I stay with you for a bit? - A bit? Just you try leaving! Come here! 700 00:43:24,220 --> 00:43:26,220 Aw! 701 00:43:26,780 --> 00:43:29,260 I've missed you, Dad, I've missed you too much. 702 00:43:29,620 --> 00:43:31,780 I've missed you all too much! 703 00:43:31,820 --> 00:43:35,620 Liam, this is your prospective new boss, Troy. 704 00:43:38,020 --> 00:43:40,420 Hello, Troy. Interview tomorrow morning? 705 00:43:40,940 --> 00:43:43,700 No need. You come highly recommended. 706 00:43:45,180 --> 00:43:47,180 Drinks! We all need a drink! 707 00:43:50,420 --> 00:43:53,780 Hey! You happy you have a new flat mate, yeah? 708 00:43:54,100 --> 00:43:59,220 Oh, I couldn't be happier. And look, here's your new flatmates. 709 00:43:59,500 --> 00:44:01,500 George and Fred. 710 00:44:03,340 --> 00:44:05,700 Lesley, I think I have made the mistake. 711 00:44:06,060 --> 00:44:10,860 I have nothing against the moofalatas but maybe I look for somewhere else to stay. 712 00:44:10,900 --> 00:44:15,260 Not them, them. Georgina and Estair. 713 00:44:15,300 --> 00:44:18,340 They call her Fred, as in Fred Astaire. Get it? 714 00:44:19,260 --> 00:44:21,620 I certainly hope so. 715 00:44:21,660 --> 00:44:24,220 Come on. 716 00:44:26,140 --> 00:44:28,060 - ♪ All night - ♪ All night 717 00:44:28,100 --> 00:44:30,820 - ♪ All night long - ♪ All night... 718 00:44:34,460 --> 00:44:37,660 Joyce, I couldn't find you at the awards. 719 00:44:38,020 --> 00:44:40,420 Monty, I told you I'd be in and out all night. 720 00:44:42,140 --> 00:44:44,620 You look absolutely exhausted, you're sweating. 721 00:44:45,420 --> 00:44:47,940 Horses sweat, Monty, women glow. 722 00:44:48,180 --> 00:44:50,980 Well, come and sit down, you're glowing like a pig. 723 00:44:54,220 --> 00:44:57,500 Joyce, I want you to know... 724 00:44:57,540 --> 00:44:59,980 my intentions are honourable. 725 00:45:00,500 --> 00:45:03,260 Monty, I think I've made a decision. 726 00:45:03,740 --> 00:45:10,260 I enjoy my life, and I love my job but men... are not for me. 727 00:45:11,340 --> 00:45:13,940 Good lord, Joyce, I don't wish to appear rude 728 00:45:14,820 --> 00:45:17,140 but don't you think you've left it a bit late 729 00:45:17,180 --> 00:45:19,180 to start boarding the lady-train? 730 00:45:19,820 --> 00:45:23,260 When I said men are not for me I didn't mean I... For goodness' sake! 731 00:45:23,300 --> 00:45:28,620 Oh, I see, I see. You're... choosing the single life. 732 00:45:29,300 --> 00:45:31,540 For now. 733 00:45:33,380 --> 00:45:35,380 I understand. 734 00:45:35,420 --> 00:45:39,700 But Joyce, if you change your mind... I'll be here. 735 00:45:43,140 --> 00:45:45,140 One last dance? 736 00:45:46,300 --> 00:45:48,300 Why not? 737 00:46:07,380 --> 00:46:10,060 Good night, God bless you. Thank you very much.