1
00:00:01,770 --> 00:00:03,286
Yo! X Games!
2
00:00:03,287 --> 00:00:04,788
What the hell's up, man?
3
00:00:04,789 --> 00:00:05,992
This is Blake H.
4
00:00:05,993 --> 00:00:07,781
And right over here is...
5
00:00:08,230 --> 00:00:09,449
Ders H.!
6
00:00:09,450 --> 00:00:11,569
And we're here to tell you
that you need to consider
7
00:00:11,570 --> 00:00:14,408
our new sport for this summer's X Games.
8
00:00:14,409 --> 00:00:16,055
Freaking don't even consider it.
9
00:00:16,056 --> 00:00:17,716
Just take it, you idiots.
10
00:00:17,717 --> 00:00:19,349
- It's brilliant, all right?
- Duh.
11
00:00:19,350 --> 00:00:21,728
Basically what we've done
is taken the sickest
12
00:00:21,729 --> 00:00:25,569
and gnar-gnarest, most epic
sports and mixed them together.
13
00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:28,870
I'm talking rollerblading, I'm
talking skateboard combined
14
00:00:28,871 --> 00:00:32,090
to make Roller-skating... 2.
15
00:00:32,091 --> 00:00:35,043
- The New Class.
- Sick.
16
00:00:35,044 --> 00:00:36,044
What?
17
00:00:36,045 --> 00:00:37,879
DeMampsa, what up, bro?
18
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,380
Are you ready to rip?
19
00:00:39,381 --> 00:00:40,932
I'm ready to rip!
20
00:00:40,933 --> 00:00:42,433
Actually, I'm very nervous.
21
00:00:42,434 --> 00:00:44,135
I don't think I'm wearing
enough padding,
22
00:00:44,136 --> 00:00:46,871
but I will die for you guys!
23
00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:48,540
Freaking rock on. Ders, light it up.
24
00:00:48,541 --> 00:00:49,541
Let's do this.
25
00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:50,809
- Ready to go?
- Ow!
26
00:00:50,810 --> 00:00:52,727
- Little worried.
- Ow!
27
00:00:52,728 --> 00:00:54,003
Whoo!
28
00:00:54,004 --> 00:00:55,380
All right, you got this, DeMamp!
29
00:00:55,381 --> 00:00:57,282
Ders, punch it!
30
00:00:57,283 --> 00:00:59,575
We're about to hit the jump!
31
00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:04,055
- Whoa, dude!
- Whoo!
32
00:01:04,056 --> 00:01:05,957
How did you land that, dude?
33
00:01:05,958 --> 00:01:07,225
Blake, tell me you got the shot.
34
00:01:07,226 --> 00:01:08,393
- I got it...
- You got the shot?
35
00:01:08,394 --> 00:01:09,394
Oh! Ah!
36
00:01:09,395 --> 00:01:10,829
Ow!
37
00:01:10,830 --> 00:01:13,231
Great, Blake. I hope you're happy.
38
00:01:13,232 --> 00:01:16,805
You lost the footie, and the X
Games are in like four days.
39
00:01:16,806 --> 00:01:18,691
Now we're gonna have to get a
new cameraman for the next run.
40
00:01:18,692 --> 00:01:19,941
No. Next run? There's not a next run.
41
00:01:19,942 --> 00:01:21,537
- Blake's hurt, man.
- Yeah, didn't you hear him?
42
00:01:21,538 --> 00:01:23,533
I, like, fractured it
in, like, six places.
43
00:01:23,534 --> 00:01:25,201
I don't think my wrist
will ever walk again.
44
00:01:25,202 --> 00:01:26,702
Fine.
45
00:01:26,703 --> 00:01:30,049
I'll freaking text Karl,
have him film it.
46
00:01:30,050 --> 00:01:32,183
He's not gonna be a bitch about
it and go to the hospital
47
00:01:32,184 --> 00:01:33,375
for no good reason.
48
00:01:33,376 --> 00:01:35,586
Yeah, um, again, serious injury.
49
00:01:35,587 --> 00:01:38,522
But it's okay 'cause I like
to ride in ambulances.
50
00:01:38,523 --> 00:01:39,757
I'm gonna steal drugs!
51
00:01:39,758 --> 00:01:41,426
Get him out of my face!
52
00:01:41,427 --> 00:01:43,449
I mean, I knew today was gonna
end with an ambulance ride.
53
00:01:43,450 --> 00:01:45,308
I just didn't think Blake
would be the one in it.
54
00:01:45,309 --> 00:01:46,264
What's that supposed to mean?
55
00:01:46,265 --> 00:01:48,266
It means, like, you're
always getting hurt.
56
00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:50,201
Yeah. Yeah, right, Ders.
57
00:01:50,202 --> 00:01:51,202
I get hurt all the time.
58
00:01:51,203 --> 00:01:52,837
Dude! Hey!
59
00:01:52,838 --> 00:01:54,205
Whoa, guys! Hey!
60
00:02:00,879 --> 00:02:02,112
Hi, 911?
61
00:02:02,113 --> 00:02:03,631
Yeah, it's Anders again.
62
00:02:03,632 --> 00:02:06,116
Uh, look, can you tell
your boy to flip a B?
63
00:02:06,117 --> 00:02:07,301
We got another.
64
00:02:11,414 --> 00:02:12,716
♪ I'm fresh ♪
65
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,960
♪ You gotta, you gotta, you gotta ♪
66
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,376
♪ Gotta be fresh ♪
67
00:02:17,377 --> 00:02:19,573
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
68
00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:23,259
God, man, I can't believe I broke
my wrist on my scratching hand.
69
00:02:23,260 --> 00:02:25,427
Ders, will you just give me
one little finger, please?
70
00:02:25,428 --> 00:02:26,821
Dude, scratch your own butt.
71
00:02:26,822 --> 00:02:28,372
I'm worried about Adam.
72
00:02:28,373 --> 00:02:30,266
He probably should've
gotten in the ambulance.
73
00:02:30,267 --> 00:02:31,935
- He's got a concussion.
- He's fine, dude.
74
00:02:31,936 --> 00:02:33,769
No, he's not, he's showing
all the symptoms...
75
00:02:33,770 --> 00:02:35,880
Nausea, memory loss, mood swings.
76
00:02:41,846 --> 00:02:43,779
Ew!
77
00:02:43,780 --> 00:02:44,839
Who puked?
78
00:02:46,341 --> 00:02:47,508
Answer me!
79
00:02:47,509 --> 00:02:49,060
That was you. You just did it.
80
00:02:49,061 --> 00:02:51,428
All right. Listen up, everybody.
81
00:02:51,429 --> 00:02:53,998
Because of the little stunt
these three morons pulled
82
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:55,666
in the parking lot,
83
00:02:55,667 --> 00:02:58,903
corporate now wants us to
take an online safety course,
84
00:02:58,904 --> 00:03:00,963
which sounds super fun.
85
00:03:00,964 --> 00:03:03,190
So it'll take about three
hours, so after lunch,
86
00:03:03,191 --> 00:03:04,525
just get to your cubicles...
87
00:03:04,526 --> 00:03:05,910
Who's the coolest?
88
00:03:05,911 --> 00:03:07,970
Who's the coolest? Who's the coolest?
89
00:03:07,971 --> 00:03:09,363
Can't hear you. Going to sleep.
90
00:03:09,364 --> 00:03:10,973
Oh, good night.
91
00:03:10,974 --> 00:03:12,349
I'm her sister.
92
00:03:12,350 --> 00:03:14,869
I'm Juliette. It's all good.
93
00:03:14,870 --> 00:03:17,254
Oh, God, I think I'm still drunk.
94
00:03:17,255 --> 00:03:21,125
Me and B-Rad just did a 12-hour
shift at Spearmint Rhino.
95
00:03:21,126 --> 00:03:23,485
That pig is still there
just crushing hot wings.
96
00:03:23,486 --> 00:03:24,879
- Sick.
- B-Rad.
97
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,097
- That's sick.
- I miss that guy.
98
00:03:26,098 --> 00:03:28,266
Classic sleeper hold, huh?
99
00:03:28,267 --> 00:03:29,438
Still funny.
100
00:03:29,439 --> 00:03:32,217
I see that you've met
my sister, Juliette.
101
00:03:32,218 --> 00:03:34,330
She's going to be filling in for Jillian
102
00:03:34,331 --> 00:03:36,440
while she's on National Guard duty.
103
00:03:36,441 --> 00:03:38,505
- Cool. Freaking sick.
- Yeah.
104
00:03:38,506 --> 00:03:40,607
What the hell was I saying?
105
00:03:40,608 --> 00:03:43,275
You were doing some BS speech
about safety or something.
106
00:03:43,276 --> 00:03:45,911
Dude, I knew this job was gonna
be a complete dookie fountain.
107
00:03:45,912 --> 00:03:47,780
Dookie fountain.
108
00:03:47,781 --> 00:03:50,249
All right, well, this is how
much fun we're gonna have.
109
00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:53,586
Because if everybody passes
their online safety course,
110
00:03:53,587 --> 00:03:56,313
I'm gonna take you on a nature hike.
111
00:03:56,314 --> 00:03:57,982
- Go walking?
- That's lame.
112
00:03:57,983 --> 00:03:59,316
I have a better idea.
113
00:03:59,317 --> 00:04:00,818
I used to date this chick in the Navy.
114
00:04:00,819 --> 00:04:02,153
She has a jump plane.
115
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:03,487
We can go skydiving.
116
00:04:03,488 --> 00:04:05,156
- Are you serious?
- What?
117
00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:07,351
- Oh, we should go skydiving!
- Finally.
118
00:04:07,352 --> 00:04:08,634
Let's go skydiving!
119
00:04:08,635 --> 00:04:11,554
- Let's go skydiving.
- Guys. Come on, skydiving?
120
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,472
That's... that's not cool.
121
00:04:13,473 --> 00:04:15,666
It's, like, so '90s.
122
00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:17,810
What, are you kidding me?
The '90s were awesome.
123
00:04:17,811 --> 00:04:21,380
Like "Space Jam," "Doug," Lark Voorhies.
124
00:04:21,381 --> 00:04:22,982
- Yup.
- "Real World, Seattle."
125
00:04:22,983 --> 00:04:24,383
When Stephen slapped Irene?
126
00:04:24,384 --> 00:04:25,985
That was off the hook.
127
00:04:25,986 --> 00:04:27,887
- It was.
- Uh, Blink 182.
128
00:04:27,888 --> 00:04:29,321
"What's My Age Again?"
129
00:04:29,322 --> 00:04:30,848
- Yeah.
- What is my age again?
130
00:04:30,849 --> 00:04:32,792
- Are you serious?
- How old am I?
131
00:04:32,793 --> 00:04:34,660
Skydiving...
132
00:04:34,661 --> 00:04:37,163
- Don't start chanting, please...
- Skydiving!
133
00:04:37,164 --> 00:04:39,231
Skydiving!
134
00:04:39,232 --> 00:04:41,667
- Skydiving!
- All right, okay, fine!
135
00:04:41,668 --> 00:04:44,737
If you wanna go freaking
skydiving, we'll go skydiving.
136
00:04:47,574 --> 00:04:50,409
Yes! Yes!
137
00:04:50,410 --> 00:04:52,912
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Yes!
138
00:04:52,913 --> 00:04:54,263
Yes, yes, yes.
139
00:04:54,264 --> 00:04:56,582
Ew! Who puked?
140
00:04:58,210 --> 00:04:59,585
Yeah!
141
00:04:59,586 --> 00:05:01,687
This freaking safety test is impossible.
142
00:05:01,688 --> 00:05:06,275
Adam, ple... okay, well,
you are on farmersonly.com
143
00:05:06,276 --> 00:05:08,093
You're not even taking
the test right now.
144
00:05:08,094 --> 00:05:09,612
We just... We need to concentrate.
145
00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:11,280
Do you not want to go on
the field trip, dude?
146
00:05:11,281 --> 00:05:13,265
Come on, it's gonna be super fun.
147
00:05:13,266 --> 00:05:15,785
Dude, you know what
happens on field trips.
148
00:05:15,786 --> 00:05:17,670
Bus ride hookups.
149
00:05:17,671 --> 00:05:19,538
This guy knows. Look.
150
00:05:19,539 --> 00:05:23,008
You get your Starter jacket
out, put your hand underneath,
151
00:05:23,009 --> 00:05:24,710
and you make the pussy queef.
152
00:05:24,711 --> 00:05:26,011
You don't have to tell me.
153
00:05:26,012 --> 00:05:27,012
I've got history.
154
00:05:27,013 --> 00:05:28,547
Ninth grade, yeah.
155
00:05:28,548 --> 00:05:31,183
We took a field trip to
"Fiddler on the Roof,"
156
00:05:31,184 --> 00:05:34,553
and I "diddler" on the
bus, is what I did.
157
00:05:34,554 --> 00:05:35,971
- That's awesome.
- Hi.
158
00:05:35,972 --> 00:05:37,690
Uh, just taking a shot in the dark here,
159
00:05:37,691 --> 00:05:40,726
but you drug addicts
definitely have drugs, right?
160
00:05:40,727 --> 00:05:42,194
Uh...
161
00:05:42,195 --> 00:05:44,313
- Uh... yes.
- Ahem.
162
00:05:44,314 --> 00:05:46,232
- I can't hear you.
- We got the hookup.
163
00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:47,967
Yeah, I can't... It's
just, your sister's
164
00:05:47,968 --> 00:05:49,735
just kind of watching
us like a hawk, so...
165
00:05:49,736 --> 00:05:52,416
You're worried about Alice?
She's obsessed with me.
166
00:05:52,417 --> 00:05:54,348
She'll do anything for
my approval. Watch this.
167
00:05:54,349 --> 00:05:58,043
Hey, Alice, these guys
over here are doing drugs.
168
00:05:58,044 --> 00:05:59,378
- What?
- Cocaine, you name it.
169
00:05:59,379 --> 00:06:01,146
- No, no.
- Just kidding.
170
00:06:01,147 --> 00:06:02,940
I just didn't want to walk
all the way over there.
171
00:06:02,941 --> 00:06:05,551
So what are you getting
me for lunch, peachy?
172
00:06:05,552 --> 00:06:09,989
Well, actually, I was going
to let this be a surprise,
173
00:06:09,990 --> 00:06:13,893
but we're gonna get some
El Pollo Loco tacos.
174
00:06:13,894 --> 00:06:16,729
Uh, the thing about that
is I'd rather have balls
175
00:06:16,730 --> 00:06:18,831
in my mouth than eat their tacos.
176
00:06:18,832 --> 00:06:19,899
'Cause she's a lesbian.
177
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:21,433
- Sick.
- Thanks.
178
00:06:21,434 --> 00:06:23,235
Go to Tina's Tacos. They're the best.
179
00:06:23,236 --> 00:06:26,272
Tell Tina you know me and she'll
give you that extra guac hookup.
180
00:06:26,273 --> 00:06:29,408
- Stop touching my breast.
- Vamonos. Mami's hungry.
181
00:06:29,409 --> 00:06:32,393
- Mm!
- Smoking in Alice's office.
182
00:06:32,394 --> 00:06:34,520
Okay, so you all passed.
183
00:06:34,521 --> 00:06:36,502
Man, this sucks that you're only
gonna work here for two weeks.
184
00:06:36,503 --> 00:06:37,474
- I really love you.
- Yeah.
185
00:06:37,475 --> 00:06:40,105
No, two weeks... that's my
limit on any job, dude.
186
00:06:40,106 --> 00:06:41,312
- Mm.
- Whoa.
187
00:06:41,313 --> 00:06:44,423
You guys didn't tell me that a
famous actress worked here.
188
00:06:44,424 --> 00:06:45,649
- What, Didi?
- Yeah.
189
00:06:45,650 --> 00:06:48,093
Oh, no, she's not a famous actress.
190
00:06:48,094 --> 00:06:49,528
- No, it's Didi.
- Oh...
191
00:06:49,529 --> 00:06:52,031
- Yeah, she's a lizard.
- She used to be.
192
00:06:52,032 --> 00:06:54,633
Look at this. Check this out.
193
00:06:54,634 --> 00:06:57,636
Ooh. She is one bad mama-jamma.
194
00:06:57,637 --> 00:06:59,915
Didi's, like, a lesbian icon.
195
00:07:01,374 --> 00:07:03,559
What, bitch? You gonna
stand there and stare
196
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,045
or you gonna sock it to my
pocket like a space rocket?
197
00:07:06,046 --> 00:07:09,398
Oh, my stars. You weren't kidding.
198
00:07:09,399 --> 00:07:11,216
- Nope.
- That's her, isn't it?
199
00:07:11,217 --> 00:07:13,552
All your friends are dead.
Now you are too.
200
00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:19,458
Dude, this puts Didi
in a whole new light.
201
00:07:19,459 --> 00:07:21,293
I think I just found my...
202
00:07:21,294 --> 00:07:22,912
bus ride hookup.
203
00:07:25,916 --> 00:07:28,233
Oh, no, no, no, no, Ders.
204
00:07:28,234 --> 00:07:30,402
I'm the one who's gonna be
slipping Didi my digits.
205
00:07:30,403 --> 00:07:32,071
And I'm not talking
about my phone number.
206
00:07:32,072 --> 00:07:33,572
I just called her, okay?
207
00:07:33,573 --> 00:07:35,366
Are we really about to
have this manversation?
208
00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:37,701
Okay, yeah, actually we are.
I need some manswers, dude,
209
00:07:37,702 --> 00:07:39,536
and I'm sorry to talk about
this in front of you.
210
00:07:39,537 --> 00:07:41,205
- It's just guy stuff.
- I mean, I'm fine with it.
211
00:07:41,206 --> 00:07:42,194
Dude, it's a field trip.
212
00:07:42,194 --> 00:07:45,037
I'm definitely finger-banging
a TelAmeri-vag.
213
00:07:45,037 --> 00:07:45,947
Yeah.
214
00:07:45,947 --> 00:07:46,877
- Yeah, but I called Didi.
- No...
215
00:07:46,878 --> 00:07:48,921
Well, guys, I don't have
time for this buffoonery
216
00:07:48,922 --> 00:07:50,606
because I actually have
a meeting with Karl
217
00:07:50,607 --> 00:07:52,124
in the parking lot right now.
218
00:07:52,125 --> 00:07:54,885
- What? About what?
- I don't know, Anders!
219
00:07:57,889 --> 00:07:59,114
Okay.
220
00:08:05,961 --> 00:08:08,854
Hey, Didi, uh, could you help
me with something real quick?
221
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,230
Huh?
222
00:08:10,231 --> 00:08:12,082
- Yeah.
- What the... what's going on?
223
00:08:12,083 --> 00:08:14,301
I just wanted to show you a
little something with my, uh,
224
00:08:14,302 --> 00:08:15,861
finger skateboard.
225
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:18,806
Thought maybe you could watch
me shred some gnar tricks.
226
00:08:18,807 --> 00:08:21,563
Tell me how you like my finger skills.
227
00:08:21,563 --> 00:08:25,107
Sit back, relax, and
enjoy the sho... oh!
228
00:08:25,109 --> 00:08:27,878
Oh, do you like the way I ollie?
229
00:08:27,879 --> 00:08:29,296
Oh, that's weird, I'm so good,
230
00:08:29,297 --> 00:08:30,964
and this isn't even my good hand.
231
00:08:30,965 --> 00:08:32,849
I'm actually left-handed.
232
00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:34,301
If you get what I'm saying.
233
00:08:34,302 --> 00:08:37,354
What the hell's that?
234
00:08:37,355 --> 00:08:38,622
Can you do this?
235
00:08:38,623 --> 00:08:40,223
What's up, Didi? Check it.
236
00:08:40,224 --> 00:08:42,359
Ooh!
237
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,393
Yeah!
238
00:08:48,199 --> 00:08:49,900
They call them "licks" for a reason.
239
00:08:53,655 --> 00:08:54,905
Yeah, you're pretty cool.
240
00:08:54,906 --> 00:08:57,099
- Honor.
- Okay. Yeah, no.
241
00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:59,159
And you can go lick off, Steve Martin.
242
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,378
Why don't you go put a arrow
through your head, you idiot?
243
00:09:01,379 --> 00:09:04,915
'Cause I was just about to
show her my final trick.
244
00:09:04,916 --> 00:09:07,109
Oh, hey, finger skater boy.
245
00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:09,444
I said, see you later, boy.
246
00:09:09,445 --> 00:09:11,421
You're not good enough for her.
247
00:09:11,422 --> 00:09:13,340
Okay, well, that's funny
you should say that,
248
00:09:13,341 --> 00:09:16,259
because it's gonna be pretty
hard for her to refuse my love
249
00:09:16,260 --> 00:09:18,929
- when I can do this.
- Oh, oh!
250
00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:20,956
- So it's time to battle?
- Watch this.
251
00:09:20,957 --> 00:09:23,016
♪ She'll be coming around
the mountain when she comes ♪
252
00:09:23,017 --> 00:09:24,601
Stop! Obviously.
253
00:09:24,602 --> 00:09:26,937
- See you later, guys.
- What are you doing?
254
00:09:26,938 --> 00:09:28,672
What? It's an old-fashioned duel.
255
00:09:28,673 --> 00:09:30,799
Except instead of real guns,
we're using finger guns.
256
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,576
Oh, this isn't a duel, Ders, okay?
257
00:09:32,577 --> 00:09:34,528
'Cause you don't stand
a chance, all right?
258
00:09:34,529 --> 00:09:37,114
'Cause I'm gonna be the one
at the back of the bus
259
00:09:37,115 --> 00:09:40,250
rocking Didi's world with some erotic...
260
00:09:40,251 --> 00:09:41,284
pawing.
261
00:09:42,704 --> 00:09:44,980
Am I getting right under
little kitty's chin?
262
00:09:44,981 --> 00:09:47,374
And then guess what.
While she's not looking...
263
00:09:48,426 --> 00:09:50,319
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my God.
264
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,696
Is that how you think you're
supposed to finger a girl?
265
00:09:52,697 --> 00:09:55,265
Yeah. What, you think that's
how you finger a girl?
266
00:09:55,266 --> 00:09:57,267
Dude, you're a dummy... you
don't even have any cool moves.
267
00:09:57,268 --> 00:09:58,493
I got a cool move.
268
00:09:58,494 --> 00:10:00,387
You basically make the
shadow puppet dog,
269
00:10:00,388 --> 00:10:03,196
but then you shove it in, right?
And then it just bites the meat.
270
00:10:03,196 --> 00:10:05,092
Ding-dong, ding-dong,
ding-dong, ding-dong.
271
00:10:05,092 --> 00:10:06,611
Let me in, ma'am, I got
a vacuum to sell ya.
272
00:10:06,611 --> 00:10:07,502
Okay, this is what I call the twister...
273
00:10:07,503 --> 00:10:08,812
Okay, you guys! Okay, stop.
274
00:10:08,813 --> 00:10:11,064
- Come, follow me.
- What?
275
00:10:11,063 --> 00:10:12,783
Working up a sweat.
276
00:10:12,784 --> 00:10:15,152
Okay, that's secure. Excellent.
277
00:10:15,153 --> 00:10:16,620
Oh, dude!
278
00:10:16,621 --> 00:10:19,723
Goons the Eater
strikes again, man.
279
00:10:19,724 --> 00:10:21,558
That is funny.
280
00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:23,393
Oh, uh, talent on set.
281
00:10:23,394 --> 00:10:25,662
Okay, everybody, let's
gather round, let's do this.
282
00:10:25,663 --> 00:10:28,398
Whoo! Let's go, okay!
283
00:10:28,399 --> 00:10:29,666
Yeah!
284
00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,026
You're lucky we even showed up
285
00:10:31,027 --> 00:10:32,302
'cause we're a busy crew.
286
00:10:32,303 --> 00:10:33,754
We got back-to-back quinceañeras
287
00:10:33,755 --> 00:10:35,422
later on this afternoon,
so let's get to it.
288
00:10:35,423 --> 00:10:36,698
Time is money, all right?
289
00:10:38,368 --> 00:10:40,076
Okay. Yeah, let's do this.
290
00:10:40,077 --> 00:10:41,578
Okay, let's roll camera.
291
00:10:41,579 --> 00:10:43,013
- Roll sound.
- Rolling!
292
00:10:43,014 --> 00:10:44,353
Good. And...
293
00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:47,058
Action.
294
00:10:50,981 --> 00:10:52,656
Adam... okay, man.
295
00:10:52,657 --> 00:10:55,091
Look, if you're nervous,
just use that emotion.
296
00:10:55,092 --> 00:10:56,593
Think about the script.
297
00:10:56,594 --> 00:10:59,095
Say your lines with that emotion.
298
00:10:59,096 --> 00:11:00,263
It's gonna be great.
299
00:11:00,264 --> 00:11:01,998
All right.
300
00:11:01,999 --> 00:11:03,433
Where's the script?
301
00:11:03,434 --> 00:11:04,893
Okay, cut.
302
00:11:04,894 --> 00:11:06,395
Okay, we don't work without a script,
303
00:11:06,396 --> 00:11:07,954
so if you'll excuse us,
we need to go watch
304
00:11:07,955 --> 00:11:10,941
two beautiful, young
Mexican females turn into
305
00:11:10,942 --> 00:11:13,960
two beautiful, old Mexican women.
306
00:11:13,961 --> 00:11:16,405
So buh-buh-bye.
307
00:11:16,406 --> 00:11:18,407
Oh, don't you turn your backs on me!
308
00:11:18,408 --> 00:11:20,016
Don't you...
309
00:11:20,017 --> 00:11:21,468
I'll break everything that you own!
310
00:11:21,469 --> 00:11:22,953
I will break you!
311
00:11:22,954 --> 00:11:25,856
I will ruin you and your whole squadron!
312
00:11:25,857 --> 00:11:28,458
I'm gonna fight one of
these women right here.
313
00:11:28,459 --> 00:11:31,753
I'm gonna beat the shit out
of this girl right here.
314
00:11:31,754 --> 00:11:34,815
Yeah, the big one. I'm coming for you...
315
00:11:34,816 --> 00:11:36,700
Ooh!
316
00:11:36,701 --> 00:11:37,901
Homeless Mike, are you okay?
317
00:11:37,902 --> 00:11:39,903
Okay, lesson number one.
318
00:11:39,904 --> 00:11:41,822
Clitoris is on the top of the kiwi.
319
00:11:41,823 --> 00:11:43,323
- Copy that?
- Yeah.
320
00:11:43,324 --> 00:11:44,933
Butthole is on the bottom.
321
00:11:44,934 --> 00:11:46,493
Just avoid that unless she says not to.
322
00:11:46,494 --> 00:11:47,744
- Okay, okay.
- She's gonna say not to.
323
00:11:47,745 --> 00:11:49,079
So just calm down.
324
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,330
I want you to just go up and down,
325
00:11:50,331 --> 00:11:53,049
gently massage the clitoris.
326
00:11:53,050 --> 00:11:54,751
Okay, and the clitoris is in here?
327
00:11:54,752 --> 00:11:56,278
- Yes... oh! No!
- So get in there...
328
00:11:56,279 --> 00:11:57,671
- Yeah, get it, boy.
- Okay, stop. Stop.
329
00:11:57,672 --> 00:11:59,089
Oh, look, I'm making the Jell-O.
330
00:11:59,090 --> 00:12:00,557
Here, let me just... I'll show you.
331
00:12:00,558 --> 00:12:01,558
At least there's liquid coming out.
332
00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:02,826
I heard that's good.
333
00:12:02,827 --> 00:12:03,952
When do we get to go to the butthole?
334
00:12:03,953 --> 00:12:05,729
- Hi there.
- Hi.
335
00:12:05,730 --> 00:12:09,124
So, uh, I actually found
something interesting.
336
00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:10,990
Um, I just went on my computer
337
00:12:10,990 --> 00:12:13,186
and I checked the safety course scores,
338
00:12:13,187 --> 00:12:17,774
and funny, it looks like you
two and Adam all scored a 69.
339
00:12:17,775 --> 00:12:18,967
Oh, good for you guys.
340
00:12:18,968 --> 00:12:20,360
- Frickin' triple 69.
- Nice.
341
00:12:20,361 --> 00:12:21,912
We've always wanted to do that.
342
00:12:21,913 --> 00:12:23,346
- That's awesome!
- I'm not buying it.
343
00:12:23,347 --> 00:12:24,865
She put you up to this, didn't she?
344
00:12:24,866 --> 00:12:26,533
Look, we got those scores on our own.
345
00:12:26,534 --> 00:12:28,418
I mean why... do you want
a cup for your hater-ade?
346
00:12:28,419 --> 00:12:30,253
'Cause that's what you're drinking.
347
00:12:30,254 --> 00:12:32,314
- Do you want a cup for it?
- That's a dirty cup though.
348
00:12:32,315 --> 00:12:34,541
You should've seen the other girl.
349
00:12:34,542 --> 00:12:35,632
What?
350
00:12:35,632 --> 00:12:36,966
I got in a fight in the parking lot.
351
00:12:36,967 --> 00:12:38,033
I think I beat up a woman.
352
00:12:38,034 --> 00:12:39,268
You know what? That is it!
353
00:12:39,269 --> 00:12:40,536
- Skydiving is cancelled.
- Ohh!
354
00:12:40,537 --> 00:12:42,329
Okay? No!
355
00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:45,140
You are too much of a liability,
and I am not taking the risk.
356
00:12:45,141 --> 00:12:48,043
We are going with my plan,
and we're gonna go hiking.
357
00:12:48,044 --> 00:12:50,312
And it's gonna be fun. Deer.
358
00:12:50,313 --> 00:12:51,714
Deer? Deers are pretty.
359
00:12:51,715 --> 00:12:53,340
I'm supposed to diddle Didi!
360
00:12:53,341 --> 00:12:55,176
I can't do that if we're
going to Rancho Hills.
361
00:12:55,177 --> 00:12:57,011
That's like six minutes away.
How am I supposed
362
00:12:57,012 --> 00:12:58,679
to diddle Didi in six minutes?
363
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:00,155
It's gonna take me at least a half hour
364
00:13:00,156 --> 00:13:01,907
to find a clit on the butthole.
365
00:13:01,908 --> 00:13:04,493
I don't know why you guys
are talking to each other
366
00:13:04,494 --> 00:13:07,796
in that tone, and I don't
know why I'm in the kitchen.
367
00:13:07,797 --> 00:13:10,916
Okay, everyone just calm down.
We're gonna go skydiving.
368
00:13:10,917 --> 00:13:13,752
I've been manipulating Alice
my entire life, all right?
369
00:13:13,753 --> 00:13:16,572
All we have to do is apologize,
do some grand gesture,
370
00:13:16,573 --> 00:13:17,673
and she's gonna fold.
371
00:13:17,674 --> 00:13:19,200
- Okay?
- Yeah, no doubt.
372
00:13:26,977 --> 00:13:29,129
- Here she comes, here she comes.
- Shh. Everyone, be professional.
373
00:13:29,130 --> 00:13:30,848
What the hell are you
guys doing in here?
374
00:13:30,849 --> 00:13:31,943
Get back to to work.
375
00:13:31,943 --> 00:13:34,111
First of all, we want to
say that we are sorry
376
00:13:34,112 --> 00:13:36,088
and that we take safety very seriously.
377
00:13:36,089 --> 00:13:37,757
And to show that... Have a seat...
378
00:13:37,758 --> 00:13:40,259
We put together a little presentation.
379
00:13:40,260 --> 00:13:43,896
Yes, welcome to our presentation of...
380
00:13:43,897 --> 00:13:48,041
"Office Safety, It's Very
Important and We Get That."
381
00:13:48,041 --> 00:13:49,792
I'd love to run some stats by you.
382
00:13:49,793 --> 00:13:53,095
Recent studies have shown that
the most dangerous things
383
00:13:53,096 --> 00:13:55,965
you can do are retreats on earth.
384
00:13:55,966 --> 00:13:57,383
On the ground.
385
00:13:57,384 --> 00:13:59,885
Here's a great example
of what might happen
386
00:13:59,886 --> 00:14:01,804
on an outside work retreat.
387
00:14:01,805 --> 00:14:03,806
Juliette, watch out for that cliff!
388
00:14:03,807 --> 00:14:06,834
Cliff? What cliff?
389
00:14:06,835 --> 00:14:11,005
We shall celebrate our...
Our bountiful harvest
390
00:14:11,006 --> 00:14:13,382
with our new native friends...
391
00:14:13,383 --> 00:14:17,236
by feasting and giving strength.
392
00:14:17,237 --> 00:14:18,988
Uh... thanks.
393
00:14:18,989 --> 00:14:21,849
And we shall call this
day "Thanksgiving."
394
00:14:21,850 --> 00:14:23,242
Adam, wrong... No, this is...
395
00:14:23,243 --> 00:14:25,227
Wrong performance. This
is a safety presentation.
396
00:14:25,228 --> 00:14:29,231
Your words make no sense
to me, noble Indian.
397
00:14:29,232 --> 00:14:31,901
But I shall thank you and your people
398
00:14:31,902 --> 00:14:33,919
for the corn and the blankets.
399
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,196
What the hell is wrong with him?
400
00:14:35,197 --> 00:14:37,031
Corn. So, okay.
401
00:14:37,032 --> 00:14:39,508
Say we're on the hike and
we're picking wild corn.
402
00:14:39,509 --> 00:14:41,177
Okay, and what's that? Ah! Rattlesnake!
403
00:14:41,178 --> 00:14:42,745
Rattlesnake to the neck!
404
00:14:42,746 --> 00:14:44,872
I've now been bit, the venom
is coursing through me.
405
00:14:44,873 --> 00:14:46,582
If someone doesn't suck
the venom out soon,
406
00:14:46,583 --> 00:14:48,351
I will have a casualty. Who, hm?
407
00:14:48,352 --> 00:14:49,543
Who should do it? Maybe Didi.
408
00:14:49,544 --> 00:14:50,853
Get over here and work my neck, girl.
409
00:14:50,854 --> 00:14:53,849
Didi? Oh, ow! More corn snakes!
410
00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:56,472
Bit me in the neck! So, Didi, you're
gonna have to suck on my neck too.
411
00:14:56,472 --> 00:14:58,066
Well, me first 'cause I
got bit first, so...
412
00:14:58,066 --> 00:14:59,070
I need it.
413
00:14:59,070 --> 00:15:01,222
It's been a while since
I've had a snake bite me.
414
00:15:01,223 --> 00:15:02,598
But I'm a pilot in the next scene.
415
00:15:02,599 --> 00:15:03,557
I switched with Gary.
416
00:15:03,558 --> 00:15:05,935
What? Okay, no recasting.
417
00:15:05,936 --> 00:15:08,004
- What needs sucking?
- Uh...
418
00:15:08,005 --> 00:15:10,106
Okay, I can see what you guys are doing
419
00:15:10,107 --> 00:15:11,507
and it is not happening, okay?
420
00:15:11,508 --> 00:15:13,442
We are not going skydiving.
421
00:15:13,443 --> 00:15:15,378
We are going hiking, and that is final.
422
00:15:15,379 --> 00:15:17,380
Can you please just be cool
for once in your life?
423
00:15:17,381 --> 00:15:18,881
- Right?
- Try it?
424
00:15:18,882 --> 00:15:20,466
Okay, do you wanna know what's cool?
425
00:15:20,467 --> 00:15:22,451
Consistency and leadership.
426
00:15:22,452 --> 00:15:24,954
You think what she does is cool?
427
00:15:24,955 --> 00:15:27,807
She just, like, goes from job to job
428
00:15:27,808 --> 00:15:30,726
and girl to girl and has
no responsibilities
429
00:15:30,727 --> 00:15:32,294
and isn't tied down.
430
00:15:32,295 --> 00:15:33,963
That's not cool, okay?
431
00:15:33,964 --> 00:15:35,481
Alice, that's the definition of cool
432
00:15:35,482 --> 00:15:37,533
and I think you're just jealous
433
00:15:37,534 --> 00:15:39,802
and it's not a good look on you.
434
00:15:39,803 --> 00:15:41,487
I am not jealous.
435
00:15:41,488 --> 00:15:43,539
Oh, my gosh, this is sad.
436
00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:45,041
You won't even let us have any fun
437
00:15:45,042 --> 00:15:47,993
just so you can win some
stupid family squabble?
438
00:15:47,994 --> 00:15:49,650
I'm disappointed in you.
439
00:15:51,164 --> 00:15:53,983
All right. Fine. Fine, you know what?
440
00:15:53,984 --> 00:15:55,918
You know what, you're probably right.
441
00:15:55,919 --> 00:15:57,336
All right? I am not cool.
442
00:15:57,337 --> 00:15:59,488
I'm never gonna be as cool as Juliette.
443
00:15:59,489 --> 00:16:01,257
She's always been the cool one.
444
00:16:01,258 --> 00:16:03,392
So you know what, if you want
to go and hang out with her
445
00:16:03,393 --> 00:16:06,662
and go skydiving and not hang
out with me on a hike...
446
00:16:06,663 --> 00:16:10,499
Your Alice... Fine, I can't stop you.
447
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:11,767
- Yeah, we do.
- Yeah.
448
00:16:11,768 --> 00:16:12,768
- Sick! All right!
- Awesome.
449
00:16:12,769 --> 00:16:14,170
Yeah, we did it!
450
00:16:14,171 --> 00:16:16,338
Okay, so for the X Games submission,
451
00:16:16,339 --> 00:16:19,442
I'm gonna Roller-skate 2,
The New Class out of an airplane.
452
00:16:19,443 --> 00:16:20,910
- That's cool, right?
- Yeah.
453
00:16:20,911 --> 00:16:22,344
And then I'll be the first person
454
00:16:22,345 --> 00:16:25,473
to Roller-skate 2, The New Class midair.
455
00:16:25,474 --> 00:16:27,016
- Which is cool, right?
- Yeah.
456
00:16:27,017 --> 00:16:28,584
Okay, so I need you guys
to help me film it.
457
00:16:28,585 --> 00:16:30,086
Yeah, I mean, we're in.
458
00:16:30,087 --> 00:16:31,479
I think we're just glad to see you back
459
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,589
to your good, old, normal self.
460
00:16:33,590 --> 00:16:35,838
Oh, well, I didn't die in my sleep,
461
00:16:35,838 --> 00:16:37,785
which the doctor said is a good sign.
462
00:16:37,785 --> 00:16:38,931
- Yeah, that is.
- That's huge.
463
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:40,645
But I gotta wear this
helmet because evidently,
464
00:16:40,645 --> 00:16:42,570
if I get one more concussion,
I'll get brain damage.
465
00:16:42,570 --> 00:16:43,703
But for now, I'm fine.
466
00:16:43,705 --> 00:16:45,039
- One second.
- Right on.
467
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,109
Hey, guys, the van's out back.
468
00:16:47,109 --> 00:16:48,818
- Just save me a seat next to you.
- I want to sit next to you.
469
00:16:48,818 --> 00:16:50,372
I don't understand what the big deal is.
470
00:16:50,373 --> 00:16:53,169
I'd love to just talk on the bus.
471
00:16:53,168 --> 00:16:54,749
No, no, no, this is...
472
00:16:54,750 --> 00:16:56,685
This is fine, this is just fine.
473
00:16:56,685 --> 00:16:58,286
It's actually very typical of you.
474
00:16:58,286 --> 00:16:59,745
I mean, you promised an entire office
475
00:16:59,746 --> 00:17:01,355
that you'd take them skydiving,
476
00:17:01,356 --> 00:17:03,634
and now you're bailing
on them for some girl.
477
00:17:03,634 --> 00:17:06,152
- I mean, cool.
- Yeah, what is the problem?
478
00:17:06,154 --> 00:17:07,805
The problem is is that the
van is going to be here
479
00:17:07,806 --> 00:17:09,040
in five minutes.
480
00:17:09,041 --> 00:17:11,158
What am I supposed to tell them?
481
00:17:11,159 --> 00:17:13,102
Make something up. I don't know.
482
00:17:13,103 --> 00:17:16,580
Tell them that I got my period
and that my tampon will fly out.
483
00:17:16,581 --> 00:17:17,940
No.
484
00:17:17,941 --> 00:17:20,943
No, I am done covering for you, okay?
485
00:17:20,944 --> 00:17:23,279
You know what, I really
thought you'd changed.
486
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,489
But you're still the same flake
that you've always been.
487
00:17:25,490 --> 00:17:27,158
- Oh, God.
- And I'm over it.
488
00:17:27,159 --> 00:17:28,926
So get the hell out of my call center.
489
00:17:28,927 --> 00:17:30,561
Jesus!
490
00:17:30,562 --> 00:17:32,730
Ahem. Uh, attention, everyone.
491
00:17:32,731 --> 00:17:35,733
Uh... unfortunate I have some bad news.
492
00:17:35,733 --> 00:17:38,519
Seems that Juliette is
not going to be able
493
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,187
to take you skydiving today.
494
00:17:40,188 --> 00:17:42,965
So, um, she...
495
00:17:42,966 --> 00:17:44,306
started her period.
496
00:17:44,305 --> 00:17:46,240
Ooh, I know how bad that can get.
497
00:17:46,241 --> 00:17:49,326
Well, I mean everybody knows
that at that altitude,
498
00:17:49,327 --> 00:17:52,124
I mean, your tampon can
just fly out of you.
499
00:17:52,124 --> 00:17:53,213
No, that's true.
500
00:17:53,214 --> 00:17:55,983
A lot of lesbians have
medical issues because
501
00:17:55,984 --> 00:17:57,923
they don't have dicks inside of them.
502
00:17:57,923 --> 00:17:59,002
Yeah, sure.
503
00:17:59,003 --> 00:18:01,221
- This is ridiculous!
- I'm sorry, you guys.
504
00:18:01,222 --> 00:18:02,890
Thanks, Alice.
505
00:18:02,891 --> 00:18:04,324
Real cool.
506
00:18:04,325 --> 00:18:05,509
But you know what?
507
00:18:05,510 --> 00:18:07,452
Hey, what if I....
508
00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:09,563
I don't know, what if I
take you guys skydiving?
509
00:18:09,564 --> 00:18:11,957
Okay, are you being serious right now?
510
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:13,600
- Yeah.
- Yes! Alice freaking rocks.
511
00:18:13,601 --> 00:18:14,902
- Yeah!
- Alice!
512
00:18:14,903 --> 00:18:18,355
Alice! Alice! Alice!
513
00:18:18,356 --> 00:18:20,632
All right, yes, okay, thank
you, that is very sweet.
514
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:23,360
But let's just get on the van
before I change my mind, okay?
515
00:18:23,361 --> 00:18:25,412
- Shotgun!
- I don't think so.
516
00:18:25,413 --> 00:18:26,947
- Okay.
- Hey, um, Alice?
517
00:18:26,948 --> 00:18:28,198
- We're gonna go skydiving!
- What?
518
00:18:28,199 --> 00:18:29,283
We heard the whole conversation
519
00:18:29,284 --> 00:18:30,809
with you and Juliette.
520
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,978
And we know that she's
not on her period.
521
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:35,756
And it's pretty cool for you to
step up for the office, so...
522
00:18:35,757 --> 00:18:37,257
Yeah, that's really freaking cool.
523
00:18:37,258 --> 00:18:39,092
I'd even go to say, uh...
524
00:18:39,093 --> 00:18:40,761
you're the coolest Murphy sister.
525
00:18:40,762 --> 00:18:42,963
- Thanks, Blake.
- Right?
526
00:18:42,964 --> 00:18:44,823
Seriously, thank you for saying that.
527
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:47,467
That really means a lot to me.
528
00:18:47,468 --> 00:18:49,052
I just feel like I've always grown up
529
00:18:49,053 --> 00:18:50,804
in the shadow of my sister.
530
00:18:50,805 --> 00:18:52,806
She always makes me feel
so small, you know?
531
00:18:52,807 --> 00:18:55,500
Just makes me feel this big.
532
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:57,277
Are you crying right now?
533
00:18:57,278 --> 00:18:59,229
Oh, my God, that is so weak!
534
00:18:59,230 --> 00:19:01,398
- Why are you crying?
- That's such a weak emotion.
535
00:19:01,399 --> 00:19:03,283
Yeah, you cry?
536
00:19:03,284 --> 00:19:04,785
Ew, that's not a good look on you.
537
00:19:04,786 --> 00:19:05,953
- You got issues.
- Oh, my God.
538
00:19:05,954 --> 00:19:07,904
Crybaby.
539
00:19:07,905 --> 00:19:09,489
"My sister!"
540
00:19:09,490 --> 00:19:10,907
- No, I want Didi!
- Stop!
541
00:19:10,908 --> 00:19:12,459
- Get out of my way.
- Please, just stop.
542
00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:14,461
- I need this, okay?
- Uh, that's my seat.
543
00:19:14,462 --> 00:19:16,229
- That's me.
- What? No.
544
00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:17,422
Sit somewhere else.
545
00:19:21,012 --> 00:19:23,345
- Hey, uh...
- What?
546
00:19:26,384 --> 00:19:27,841
I brought a kiwi.
547
00:19:27,842 --> 00:19:30,369
If you wanted to, I don't know, like...
548
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,346
pretend on the way there.
549
00:19:32,347 --> 00:19:34,373
Great.
550
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:36,183
Imagination is a powerful thing.
551
00:19:38,686 --> 00:19:41,355
Yeah. Yeah, thanks.
552
00:19:41,356 --> 00:19:43,382
This could've been you, Didi.
553
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,492
When you guys are done
finger-banging that kiwi,
554
00:19:45,493 --> 00:19:46,718
can I get it?
555
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,161
I'm starving.
556
00:19:48,162 --> 00:19:49,227
You got it.
557
00:20:00,188 --> 00:20:01,955
Okay, you're all set!
558
00:20:01,956 --> 00:20:05,292
I'm sorry, but isn't it
illegal to allow someone
559
00:20:05,293 --> 00:20:07,644
to jump alone on their first time?
560
00:20:07,645 --> 00:20:11,481
Yeah, technically you're supposed
to have 25 jumps in first.
561
00:20:11,482 --> 00:20:14,443
But we're not a legal skydiving company.
562
00:20:14,444 --> 00:20:16,970
I'm just a chick with a plane
who used to bang your sister!
563
00:20:16,971 --> 00:20:18,071
What? What?
564
00:20:18,072 --> 00:20:19,306
No! No!
565
00:20:19,307 --> 00:20:21,324
Ooh, whoa!
566
00:20:21,325 --> 00:20:22,742
- All right, who's up next?
- All right!
567
00:20:22,743 --> 00:20:24,477
Me? Cool.
568
00:20:24,478 --> 00:20:26,213
- Ooh-rah!
- Okay.
569
00:20:26,214 --> 00:20:27,747
Whoa!
570
00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:29,716
Whoa!
571
00:20:29,717 --> 00:20:31,751
Jumping, jumping!
572
00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:33,753
Oh, what am I doing?
573
00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:35,722
They don't even wear
helmets in the X Games.
574
00:20:35,723 --> 00:20:37,761
Roller-skate guy, you're up!
575
00:20:40,728 --> 00:20:41,895
No!
576
00:20:41,896 --> 00:20:43,763
My little baby!
577
00:20:46,442 --> 00:20:47,400
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
578
00:20:47,401 --> 00:20:48,768
Let him land!
579
00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:50,854
Lord, please let him land in the lake.
580
00:20:50,855 --> 00:20:53,181
Adam!
581
00:20:55,985 --> 00:20:57,953
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