1
00:00:00,913 --> 00:00:02,298
Adam, you are pushing
2
00:00:02,299 --> 00:00:03,933
when I need you to pull, okay?
3
00:00:03,934 --> 00:00:04,924
Stay in the slot, baby.
4
00:00:04,925 --> 00:00:07,034
It's a delicate dance.
It's a tango, okay?
5
00:00:07,036 --> 00:00:09,139
I'm the man. I lead you, sweetheart.
6
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:10,772
No, sweetheart.
7
00:00:10,773 --> 00:00:13,475
In fact, I came up with a
cool name for our team:
8
00:00:13,476 --> 00:00:15,243
The Woodsmen, right?
9
00:00:15,244 --> 00:00:16,912
That's, like, a badass name,
10
00:00:16,912 --> 00:00:19,281
and I thought of it
'cause I'm the leader.
11
00:00:19,282 --> 00:00:20,783
You want to name us The Woodsmen,
12
00:00:20,784 --> 00:00:23,605
after a Kevin Bacon movie
about a pedophile.
13
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:26,389
- You didn't actually let me finish.
- No, we are the Timberlakes,
14
00:00:26,389 --> 00:00:28,223
and we're bringing sexy
to the timber sports.
15
00:00:28,224 --> 00:00:29,223
End of story.
16
00:00:29,224 --> 00:00:31,070
Now, you push, I pull.
17
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:34,207
No, I push, and you pull on my count.
18
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:35,942
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
19
00:00:35,942 --> 00:00:37,577
This isn't... You're not helping!
20
00:00:37,578 --> 00:00:38,779
Stop fighting!
21
00:00:38,780 --> 00:00:40,581
Flip a coin. Or you know what?
22
00:00:40,581 --> 00:00:42,615
Better yet, why doesn't one
of you take the high road
23
00:00:42,616 --> 00:00:44,051
and let the other call the shots?
24
00:00:44,051 --> 00:00:45,117
Be the bigger man.
25
00:00:45,118 --> 00:00:46,620
I'm the baller shot caller.
26
00:00:46,621 --> 00:00:48,354
I've got 20-inch blades
on my Impala, okay?
27
00:00:48,355 --> 00:00:51,191
This... this is why you're
not even on the team.
28
00:00:51,192 --> 00:00:52,859
You're not on our team, you bitch.
29
00:00:52,859 --> 00:00:53,926
Oh, this is why.
30
00:00:53,927 --> 00:00:55,629
See, 'cause I was wondering why,
31
00:00:55,630 --> 00:00:56,930
'cause it really hurt my
feelings no one asked me,
32
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,398
especially since I'm the one
33
00:00:58,398 --> 00:01:00,066
who knew about the
tournament in Big Bear.
34
00:01:00,067 --> 00:01:02,636
I love timber sports.
You know that about me.
35
00:01:02,636 --> 00:01:04,537
Yes, you're a timber sports fan,
36
00:01:04,538 --> 00:01:07,940
but we are timber sports,
37
00:01:07,941 --> 00:01:09,476
and that's the difference between us.
38
00:01:09,477 --> 00:01:11,311
You can start at the
penis or just scream,
39
00:01:11,312 --> 00:01:13,681
"I don't give a [bleep] and see
who means this," so scream it.
40
00:01:13,681 --> 00:01:14,715
- What?
- [bleep].
41
00:01:14,716 --> 00:01:16,115
[bleep].
42
00:01:16,116 --> 00:01:18,351
- [bleep], [bleep], [bleep].
- [bleep].
43
00:01:18,352 --> 00:01:20,019
We gonna [bleep] all the [bleep].
We just do it.
44
00:01:20,020 --> 00:01:21,654
I don't give a [bleep].
45
00:01:21,655 --> 00:01:23,290
Part of our nature,
because we're alpha dogs.
46
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:24,957
We bark [bleep] all the time.
47
00:01:24,958 --> 00:01:26,827
You're beta bitch boy.
48
00:01:26,827 --> 00:01:28,146
Fine, you want me to?
49
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,631
- You didn't even say it.
- Yes, I did. [bleep].
50
00:01:31,632 --> 00:01:33,667
- Now, on my count, let's saw!
- Okay.
51
00:01:33,668 --> 00:01:36,369
That is my count, though,
since nobody's counting.
52
00:01:36,370 --> 00:01:38,538
- Sound off!
- Alpha dogs, baby!
53
00:01:38,538 --> 00:01:40,707
Ooh-rah!
54
00:01:40,708 --> 00:01:42,528
Oh, oh!
55
00:01:45,362 --> 00:01:47,481
Oh, no, the Volvo!
56
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,048
Oh, are you guys okay?
57
00:01:49,049 --> 00:01:51,350
- Stop the watch?
- Yeah, what was the time?
58
00:01:51,351 --> 00:01:53,654
- No, hey.
- He's good.
59
00:01:53,654 --> 00:01:56,423
Uh, yeah... Uh, really fast.
60
00:01:56,424 --> 00:01:57,724
He... he didn't push the button.
61
00:01:57,725 --> 00:01:58,926
Yes, I did.
62
00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:02,996
♪ ♪
63
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:04,463
♪ I'm fresh ♪
64
00:02:05,498 --> 00:02:07,767
♪ You gotta, you gotta, you gotta ♪
65
00:02:07,768 --> 00:02:09,018
♪ Gotta be fresh ♪
66
00:02:09,051 --> 00:02:11,051
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
67
00:02:11,121 --> 00:02:13,473
Hey, Bill, thanks for
driving us home, bud.
68
00:02:13,474 --> 00:02:17,344
I mean, nothing really rides
like a Toyota Corolla.
69
00:02:17,344 --> 00:02:19,947
- Shotgun!
- Shotgun, and that was a tie.
70
00:02:19,948 --> 00:02:21,280
- License plate.
- License plate.
71
00:02:21,281 --> 00:02:24,184
Oh! And I even walked in slow-mo.
72
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,685
It's all right, bud.
73
00:02:25,686 --> 00:02:27,521
Oh, yeah, that's a tight squeeze.
74
00:02:27,521 --> 00:02:29,456
- Squeeze them in.
- Shotgun.
75
00:02:29,457 --> 00:02:32,125
All right, boys, I
MapQuested the best route,
76
00:02:32,125 --> 00:02:34,927
and I made us a little mix tape.
77
00:02:34,928 --> 00:02:36,663
Oh, all right, Bill's mix tape.
78
00:02:36,664 --> 00:02:39,165
That's cool, but after
you, pass me the ox, dude.
79
00:02:39,165 --> 00:02:41,451
I'm gonna get this place
fricking on fire, dude.
80
00:02:44,171 --> 00:02:45,317
- Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
81
00:02:45,319 --> 00:02:47,842
- That's bad.
- Yeah, it's really, really bad.
82
00:02:47,842 --> 00:02:49,141
Just way out of date.
83
00:02:49,142 --> 00:02:51,110
This is way, way Less than Jake.
84
00:02:51,111 --> 00:02:53,146
Terrible. Really, really bad fish.
85
00:02:53,147 --> 00:02:55,282
- I like that one.
- Thank you.
86
00:02:55,282 --> 00:02:58,184
That's my band. Here's my solo.
87
00:02:58,185 --> 00:03:00,486
You know, I'm just going to
turn it off for a second.
88
00:03:00,486 --> 00:03:02,021
Thank you.
89
00:03:02,022 --> 00:03:03,757
Bill, is it cool if I get this Gatorade?
90
00:03:03,758 --> 00:03:06,760
That's not Gatorade... anymore.
91
00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:07,759
Oh.
92
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,562
Jesus Christ, Bill.
93
00:03:09,563 --> 00:03:11,264
Guys, we have got to get the $3,000
94
00:03:11,265 --> 00:03:12,732
and get the Vo fixed, okay?
95
00:03:12,733 --> 00:03:13,867
- This is a nightmare.
- I don't like it.
96
00:03:13,867 --> 00:03:16,068
I'm, like, way too big to be...
97
00:03:16,069 --> 00:03:17,705
I'm too big to be back here.
98
00:03:17,705 --> 00:03:19,772
You know, I play poker at
this underground card game
99
00:03:19,773 --> 00:03:20,774
where Diane deals.
100
00:03:20,775 --> 00:03:23,075
Won 200 bones last week.
101
00:03:23,075 --> 00:03:25,944
200 bones. 200 bones.
102
00:03:25,945 --> 00:03:28,247
All right, boys, alpha Ders is
gonna step up, hit the table,
103
00:03:28,248 --> 00:03:29,782
probably play till dawn,
104
00:03:29,783 --> 00:03:31,385
but I'm gonna get our
money back no doubt.
105
00:03:31,385 --> 00:03:33,120
Well, as an alpha dog myself,
106
00:03:33,121 --> 00:03:35,588
I'd probably get all of our
moolah back by sunrise,
107
00:03:35,588 --> 00:03:36,990
so I'm gonna play as well.
108
00:03:36,991 --> 00:03:38,592
Oh, you're playing too?
109
00:03:38,592 --> 00:03:39,592
This is cool. It's like
family game night.
110
00:03:39,593 --> 00:03:40,960
That is great, yeah.
111
00:03:40,961 --> 00:03:42,895
- No, I'd like to play too.
- Okay.
112
00:03:42,896 --> 00:03:44,629
Cash only, gents.
113
00:03:44,630 --> 00:03:46,466
- No cell phones.
- Okay, cool.
114
00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:48,735
This isn't cash.
115
00:03:50,471 --> 00:03:52,657
Is it already my turn?
116
00:03:52,885 --> 00:03:54,286
Yeah, no, nope.
117
00:03:54,508 --> 00:03:56,343
I just... nah.
118
00:03:56,343 --> 00:03:58,145
- What are you doing?
- Nah, I just... I fold.
119
00:03:58,146 --> 00:04:00,480
You don't have to fold, dude.
Just say "check."
120
00:04:00,481 --> 00:04:02,181
No, I don't...
121
00:04:02,182 --> 00:04:03,850
And it's cash only,
so I'm out, actually.
122
00:04:03,850 --> 00:04:05,985
This just... no, it's too stressful.
123
00:04:05,986 --> 00:04:08,655
Frank, sorry, I'm out, okay? You guys.
124
00:04:08,656 --> 00:04:11,090
Okay.
125
00:04:11,091 --> 00:04:12,759
I check.
126
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,761
Okay. Um...
127
00:04:17,665 --> 00:04:20,667
Man, sometimes you just
don't get a good hand,
128
00:04:20,668 --> 00:04:23,203
but you got to just...
129
00:04:23,204 --> 00:04:25,840
I guess I'll play.
130
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,506
Nope, you're gonna want to...
131
00:04:27,507 --> 00:04:28,608
You're gonna... okay.
132
00:04:28,609 --> 00:04:29,775
I fold too.
133
00:04:29,776 --> 00:04:32,279
Yes! Boom.
134
00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:34,881
I'll take your chips.
I'll take your chips.
135
00:04:34,882 --> 00:04:37,435
Watch out, we got a shark in the waters.
136
00:04:42,138 --> 00:04:43,723
Frank, what's up, dude?
137
00:04:43,724 --> 00:04:45,724
I'm just wondering if
there's anything fun
138
00:04:45,725 --> 00:04:47,894
to do here, some entertainment.
139
00:04:47,895 --> 00:04:50,763
Maybe some magic show,
Siegfried and Roy,
140
00:04:50,764 --> 00:04:52,098
Criss Angel.
141
00:04:52,098 --> 00:04:55,234
Mindfreak me, will ya?
142
00:04:55,235 --> 00:04:58,256
I guess you could watch the
rats [bleep] out back.
143
00:04:59,872 --> 00:05:02,024
Okay.
144
00:05:02,025 --> 00:05:05,327
Yeah, definitely, definitely.
145
00:05:15,022 --> 00:05:17,874
Yes! What a hand.
146
00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:20,877
I'm going all in, punks.
147
00:05:20,878 --> 00:05:22,979
Hey, you seem nervous, dude.
148
00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:24,147
Why you so nervous?
149
00:05:24,147 --> 00:05:25,581
Yeah, why you so nervous?
150
00:05:25,582 --> 00:05:27,083
- I'm not nervous.
- Why you nervous?
151
00:05:27,084 --> 00:05:29,152
Just gamble... take the bet or don't.
152
00:05:29,152 --> 00:05:33,256
I suggest that you don't,
'cause that's a good hand.
153
00:05:33,257 --> 00:05:35,992
Mm, all you can eat,
baby, Hometown Buffet.
154
00:05:35,993 --> 00:05:37,694
- I love Hometown Buffet.
- Me too.
155
00:05:37,695 --> 00:05:41,317
So here... okay, all in for me too.
156
00:05:43,116 --> 00:05:44,533
I have literally nothing.
157
00:05:44,534 --> 00:05:46,068
That's what I thought.
158
00:05:46,069 --> 00:05:48,070
Okay, here. You're missing these chips.
159
00:05:48,070 --> 00:05:50,006
Don't forget these.
160
00:05:50,007 --> 00:05:53,877
Hey, do we... can we still get
drinks if we're out of moneys?
161
00:05:53,877 --> 00:05:57,213
So got no ride, and now
we've got no money.
162
00:05:57,214 --> 00:05:59,616
And we would've starved to
death if Rancho Cuca Pizza
163
00:05:59,617 --> 00:06:01,851
wouldn't have hooked us up
with this irregular pizza
164
00:06:01,852 --> 00:06:03,286
they were about to throw out.
165
00:06:03,287 --> 00:06:04,654
Well, you know what they say:
166
00:06:04,654 --> 00:06:06,189
the house always wins.
167
00:06:06,190 --> 00:06:07,791
Except for we didn't lose to the house.
168
00:06:07,792 --> 00:06:09,926
We lost to that cool-looking Asian dude.
169
00:06:09,927 --> 00:06:12,361
Well, that's cool... Sunglasses inside?
170
00:06:12,361 --> 00:06:13,429
That's, like, a good look.
171
00:06:13,430 --> 00:06:14,531
That's the look.
172
00:06:14,532 --> 00:06:16,098
What did you just say?
173
00:06:16,099 --> 00:06:17,867
I said... we were talking
about the Asian guy,
174
00:06:17,868 --> 00:06:19,303
and I'm like, "Sunglasses inside...
175
00:06:19,303 --> 00:06:20,971
That's the look."
176
00:06:20,972 --> 00:06:22,606
And then Ders is like,
"That's the look."
177
00:06:22,607 --> 00:06:23,973
No, before that.
178
00:06:23,974 --> 00:06:25,142
I don't know. I farted.
179
00:06:25,142 --> 00:06:26,476
No, you said, the house always...
180
00:06:26,477 --> 00:06:27,777
He did fart. He did fart.
181
00:06:27,778 --> 00:06:29,679
- Oh, the house always wins.
- Yes.
182
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:33,216
Our house could always be
winning if we were the casino.
183
00:06:33,217 --> 00:06:34,885
- Oh, okay.
- That's not a bad idea.
184
00:06:34,886 --> 00:06:37,154
Oh, dude, yeah, we could
have a way better casino
185
00:06:37,154 --> 00:06:38,154
than that warehouse dude.
186
00:06:38,155 --> 00:06:39,723
Totally.
187
00:06:39,724 --> 00:06:41,224
I mean, this is a card table.
188
00:06:41,225 --> 00:06:42,525
I mean, we're at a card table right now.
189
00:06:42,526 --> 00:06:43,727
We already have a card table.
190
00:06:43,727 --> 00:06:45,194
- Check.
- Got that.
191
00:06:45,195 --> 00:06:47,029
- Anders?
- What's up?
192
00:06:47,030 --> 00:06:48,565
I love that idea.
193
00:06:48,565 --> 00:06:50,299
- Give it here!
- Yes!
194
00:06:50,300 --> 00:06:51,968
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
195
00:06:51,969 --> 00:06:53,904
♪ Goin' to the casino ♪
196
00:06:53,904 --> 00:06:55,672
Hey, hey, hey, it's Ray.
197
00:06:55,673 --> 00:06:57,340
There you go. Welcome to my casino.
198
00:06:57,340 --> 00:06:59,809
Remember, what happens here stays here.
199
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:01,377
Big Gil dog.
200
00:07:01,378 --> 00:07:04,047
Snap into a Slim Jim
compliments of the house.
201
00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:06,649
Deedee, killer blouse.
202
00:07:06,650 --> 00:07:10,008
Welcome to my casino.
203
00:07:10,008 --> 00:07:11,843
I'll be watching you.
204
00:07:14,046 --> 00:07:15,865
I'll be watching all of you.
205
00:07:24,604 --> 00:07:26,088
Yeah, Deedee.
206
00:07:27,523 --> 00:07:29,758
Yeah, sip that drink.
207
00:07:29,759 --> 00:07:31,728
Oh, well, hello, hello.
208
00:07:31,728 --> 00:07:32,886
Who are you?
209
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,054
You're a sexy mommy out
on the town, aren't you?
210
00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:37,356
You told the sitter
you'd be back by 9:00,
211
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:39,591
9:30 at the latest,
212
00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:42,027
but tonight you're gonna
be a little late,
213
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:44,649
because Mommy has got to have fun too.
214
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:53,038
Yeah, I think I'm gonna beat off.
215
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:54,573
Excuse me, young lady,
216
00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:57,509
but you have to be 21
or older to play here.
217
00:07:57,509 --> 00:07:59,844
Do you need to see my ID?
218
00:07:59,845 --> 00:08:01,747
Yeah, that'll work.
219
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:04,383
Okay, Mama's a whale.
220
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:05,751
Adam, this is your boss.
221
00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:07,286
Please get to the back of the house.
222
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:08,920
You are my bitch. I am your employer.
223
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,389
Get to the back of the house pronto.
224
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,857
Thank you, bye.
225
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:13,711
One momento.
226
00:08:15,811 --> 00:08:17,229
Diane, what are you doing?
227
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,531
It's like you've never dealt before.
228
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:20,066
♪ What do you want? ♪
229
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,601
- She's a whale.
- No, she's not.
230
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,369
- She's in great shape.
- She is in great shape.
231
00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:25,070
What I'm saying is that
she's loaded, okay?
232
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:28,240
She's got cash, and if
we string her along,
233
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,475
we can pay for the Vo and go
to the timber sports games.
234
00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:33,145
Yeah, these are things that I
know, because I'm in charge.
235
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,514
No, no, no, you're an
idiot, and I'm in charge.
236
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,216
Of what, cranking down?
237
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,718
'Cause that lotion is not
where I left it last.
238
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:41,654
Are you using my lotion?
239
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:43,923
Only when I'm in your room,
jerking off on your computer.
240
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:47,393
Absolutely do not ever
jerk off on my computer.
241
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,461
Fine, okay, I won't,
242
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,897
but because I choose not to from now on.
243
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:53,366
You know what? Just get out, okay?
244
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,401
I've got actual
in-charge-type work to do.
245
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:56,402
Work, like what?
246
00:08:56,402 --> 00:08:58,370
Work on your [bleep]?
247
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,057
Ugh!
248
00:09:03,392 --> 00:09:05,462
Damn it, I didn't take my pants off.
249
00:09:07,196 --> 00:09:09,347
All right, packed house.
250
00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:12,852
So the key to a successful
magic trick is distraction.
251
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:13,985
That's where you come in.
252
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:15,888
As my assistant,
253
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:20,893
you need to be something that the
audience looks at while I...
254
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,095
Look up there... Perform
my illusion, see?
255
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:26,332
Okay, cool, so I'm like
eye candy and all that.
256
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:28,834
Is there anything that you want
me to do, like, specifically?
257
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:31,136
You know, just do what feels right.
258
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,938
You'll know when to do
the distraction, okay?
259
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:34,406
Okay.
260
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,909
But when it's time, you distract.
261
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,178
Oh!
262
00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:40,378
You got it, man.
263
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:42,547
I'll be a distraction.
264
00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:45,952
Hello, and... welcome!
265
00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:49,221
I am the resident magician, Magic Blake,
266
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:52,725
and this is my beautiful
assistant, Magic Carl.
267
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:55,795
We start off with a card trick.
268
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:58,063
You, sir, what's your name?
269
00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,899
Let me guess, Waymond.
270
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:03,702
How'd I know? Go ahead and
pick a card, Waymond.
271
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:05,270
Okay, what is the card?
272
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,805
Don't tell me.
273
00:10:06,805 --> 00:10:08,573
Actually, don't you ever
tell me, all right?
274
00:10:08,574 --> 00:10:11,310
Put it back in the deck,
anywhere in the deck.
275
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:14,712
Now Magic Carl is gonna go to
the other side of the stage,
276
00:10:14,713 --> 00:10:17,883
and I'm gonna go to the other
other side of the stage
277
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:22,454
and visualize the card.
278
00:10:22,454 --> 00:10:26,324
Now, please, please make sure
that my assistant, Magic Carl,
279
00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:29,627
is placing that deck
very, very far away.
280
00:10:29,628 --> 00:10:31,663
Distract 'em. Distract 'em.
281
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:33,299
Okay, so I'm just visualizing.
282
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,866
Nothing to see, really, over here.
283
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,669
It's just me thinking,
visualizing, boring.
284
00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:39,204
And what... okay. Whoa!
285
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,308
Okay, whoa. What are you doing?
286
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,008
What are you... What are you doing?
287
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:45,078
I'm just doing what feels right, okay?
288
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:47,212
This is not right. Please
put your pants back on.
289
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:49,015
- God, fine!
- Family show.
290
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:50,315
There's no kids here, is there?
291
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,650
Well, I'm just saying...
292
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:52,718
There's no kids here.
293
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:54,385
All right, stop.
294
00:10:54,386 --> 00:10:56,087
These are my best pants.
295
00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:58,256
I'm ruining my belt now. Great.
296
00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:00,392
But she is sexy.
297
00:11:00,392 --> 00:11:02,026
24, your bet.
298
00:11:02,027 --> 00:11:04,361
I don't have any money left.
299
00:11:04,362 --> 00:11:05,496
I guess I should go.
300
00:11:05,497 --> 00:11:08,701
What? No, don't do that.
301
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:11,002
I will walk you to the ATM.
302
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,170
It's about three miles away.
303
00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:13,337
We should get going.
304
00:11:13,338 --> 00:11:15,707
I mean, this ring is worth 5,000.
305
00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:17,427
Can I gamble that?
306
00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,079
Yes, you can.
307
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,180
No, no, no, no. $5,000? We can't...
308
00:11:23,181 --> 00:11:26,717
Pit boss DeMamp, please get
to the back of the house now.
309
00:11:26,718 --> 00:11:31,423
Yes, and I will definitely
be right there, boss.
310
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,425
Tang, can I see your shoe?
311
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,494
Adam, we cannot handle that bet.
312
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,347
Do not take that bet.
313
00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:41,467
Adam!
314
00:11:44,387 --> 00:11:48,006
And I visualized this.
315
00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:49,341
Queen of hearts, what do you say?
316
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,309
Waymond, is that your card?
317
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:52,779
No?
318
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:54,446
Okay, there had to be
a mix-up somewhere...
319
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:55,480
Hiyah!
320
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:56,948
This is my show now, baby.
321
00:11:56,949 --> 00:11:58,350
They want to see my dick.
322
00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,785
Helicopter your wang!
323
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:01,386
Got it, buddy. That's all I want to do.
324
00:12:01,386 --> 00:12:03,655
Stop, guys. Next trick.
Carl, get in the box.
325
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:05,324
No, you get in the box, man.
326
00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:07,192
This puppetry of the penis,
it's so hot right now.
327
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:09,327
They love it! They love it.
328
00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:10,896
If you could just please get in the box.
329
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,698
- You get in the box.
- Don't do that!
330
00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:15,367
Get in the box, Magic Blake.
Get in the box, Magic Blake.
331
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:18,036
Carl, stop! Please, this is my show!
332
00:12:18,036 --> 00:12:19,337
- Whoo!
- Please!
333
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,239
- Shh.
- Stop encouraging him, please.
334
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,342
Where is he? This is
not part of the show.
335
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:25,077
Please, where are you, Carl?
336
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,667
What was that?
337
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:32,318
Okay, I'm done.
338
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,054
You can do your next trick now.
339
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,554
And back to Magic Blake.
340
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,156
I'm gonna kill you, you stupid idiot.
341
00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:38,924
I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna kill you.
342
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,126
- That's not magic.
- I'm sorry.
343
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:43,228
I'll cut your freaking dick off, then.
344
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:45,764
My eye itches.
345
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,432
Ladies and gentlemen,
346
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,167
we're gonna take a short
five-minute intermission.
347
00:12:49,168 --> 00:12:51,403
Why does it itch? Is it bleeding?
348
00:12:51,403 --> 00:12:52,571
- Is it bleeding?
- It's fine.
349
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,239
Why did you do that?
350
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,676
I just need to verify the
authenticity of this ring.
351
00:12:57,676 --> 00:12:58,776
Yup, that's real.
352
00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:00,111
That is very hard.
353
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,780
Actually hurt my tooth a little bit.
354
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:05,184
Diane, would you mind getting
this angel some chips?
355
00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:07,653
- Changing 5,000.
- Whoo!
356
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:09,487
- Spend up, guys.
- Adam, don't.
357
00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:10,789
We can't cover that.
358
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,992
Ders, just trust the math, okay?
359
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:17,161
As you know, the house always wins.
360
00:13:17,162 --> 00:13:18,263
Blackjack.
361
00:13:18,263 --> 00:13:20,598
Oh, my God!
362
00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:23,102
Well, that's the most
fun I've had all week.
363
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:26,104
I'll cash out now, fellas,
if you don't mind.
364
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:28,624
I always knew math was a hoax.
365
00:13:36,624 --> 00:13:39,009
So we don't have it, your money,
366
00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:41,745
but we could probably cover half.
367
00:13:41,745 --> 00:13:43,347
Half? I'm sorry.
368
00:13:43,347 --> 00:13:45,248
That's not how this sort of thing works.
369
00:13:45,249 --> 00:13:51,454
We can cover the other
half with IOUs and prizes.
370
00:13:51,454 --> 00:13:53,222
Have you ever been to
a fondue restaurant?
371
00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:55,090
We'll take you to one
every Sunday for a month.
372
00:13:55,091 --> 00:13:57,059
The Melting Pot, have you been there?
373
00:13:57,059 --> 00:14:00,429
Of course she has, for our
13th wedding anniversary.
374
00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:02,164
Hi, honey, how was work?
375
00:14:02,165 --> 00:14:04,000
Not bad, babe.
376
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,670
What is happening right now?
377
00:14:07,671 --> 00:14:09,104
You know Laura?
378
00:14:09,104 --> 00:14:11,307
Of course I do. She's my wife.
379
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:13,309
These ass wipes owe us 5 grand.
380
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:14,877
Is that right?
381
00:14:14,877 --> 00:14:16,846
We do, but 5 grand, we can't pay that.
382
00:14:16,847 --> 00:14:18,314
We don't have that.
383
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:19,715
We don't have that kind of money.
384
00:14:19,716 --> 00:14:21,650
Technically, you do.
385
00:14:21,651 --> 00:14:23,019
You got this house.
386
00:14:23,019 --> 00:14:24,787
You want your house back,
387
00:14:24,788 --> 00:14:26,389
you give me my 5 grand.
388
00:14:26,390 --> 00:14:29,827
Till then, get the [bleep]
out of my new casino.
389
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:32,394
Well, that was a disaster.
390
00:14:32,395 --> 00:14:35,364
Magic Carl just sexually
assaulted my face.
391
00:14:35,365 --> 00:14:36,565
Yeah.
392
00:14:36,566 --> 00:14:38,901
Oh, hello.
393
00:14:38,901 --> 00:14:40,401
I don't believe we've met.
394
00:14:40,402 --> 00:14:42,304
I'm Magic Blake, in-house entertainment.
395
00:14:42,305 --> 00:14:43,692
Pleasure.
396
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:57,019
I hate sleeping on the floor.
397
00:14:57,020 --> 00:15:00,022
Only slept for, like,
seven hours or something.
398
00:15:00,023 --> 00:15:01,824
You can thank Adam for that
399
00:15:01,824 --> 00:15:03,425
and for taking the world's dumbest bet.
400
00:15:03,426 --> 00:15:04,927
There's table limits for a reason.
401
00:15:04,928 --> 00:15:07,763
And there it is right
there, classic Ders:
402
00:15:07,764 --> 00:15:10,466
passing the blame when
you're too busy smacking off
403
00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:12,568
to realize that I need
proper supervision.
404
00:15:12,569 --> 00:15:15,271
That's on you, but that dude
never would've punked us
405
00:15:15,271 --> 00:15:17,673
if we were all alphas, Blake.
406
00:15:17,674 --> 00:15:22,845
I get it. I am a beta B-word, yes,
407
00:15:22,846 --> 00:15:26,448
but, you know, maybe I thought
you guys, my alpha dogs,
408
00:15:26,449 --> 00:15:28,317
would protect me, okay?
409
00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:30,486
But you guys are so busy
fighting each other,
410
00:15:30,487 --> 00:15:32,688
you can't even come up with a good plan.
411
00:15:32,689 --> 00:15:34,490
Blake, I'm a hound dog,
412
00:15:34,491 --> 00:15:36,358
and I'm gonna howl at the moon,
413
00:15:36,359 --> 00:15:38,794
and I shouldn't have to worry
about protecting you, okay?
414
00:15:38,795 --> 00:15:43,699
It might be time for us to
not be alpha dogs anymore
415
00:15:43,699 --> 00:15:45,199
and start being alpha lions.
416
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,669
We are all kinds of animals, me and you.
417
00:15:53,309 --> 00:15:54,443
Here's the plan:
418
00:15:54,444 --> 00:15:56,179
sneak in through the crawl space
419
00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:58,113
and then saw through the bathroom floor.
420
00:15:58,113 --> 00:15:59,515
Right, but also the plan
421
00:15:59,516 --> 00:16:01,284
is to play music off my
Bluetooth shower speakers
422
00:16:01,284 --> 00:16:03,218
through my phone so that
they don't hear us sawing...
423
00:16:03,219 --> 00:16:05,287
Sawing into the bathroom floor
424
00:16:05,288 --> 00:16:07,356
so we can get the floor safe and use it
425
00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:09,425
as a bargaining chip for Frank
and get the house back.
426
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,294
And go to the timber sports tournament,
427
00:16:11,294 --> 00:16:12,762
and we bring sexy back.
428
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:15,698
- Okay, as The Woodsmen...
- Right, yeah.
429
00:16:15,699 --> 00:16:17,633
Parentheses, not the pedophile movie
430
00:16:17,634 --> 00:16:19,235
but, like, badasses who
can knock a deer out
431
00:16:19,236 --> 00:16:21,036
with one punch, close parentheses.
432
00:16:21,037 --> 00:16:22,539
- Okay.
- Here is the spot.
433
00:16:22,539 --> 00:16:24,140
Okay.
434
00:16:24,141 --> 00:16:26,909
Whoa, dude, huge wasps' nest.
435
00:16:26,910 --> 00:16:28,611
Just stay back. Give
me the saw, all right?
436
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:30,412
Okay, no,
437
00:16:30,413 --> 00:16:33,149
I carried the saw the whole way,
so I should get to saw first.
438
00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:34,650
Dude, I saw first. You saw second.
439
00:16:34,651 --> 00:16:36,486
That was the deal.
440
00:16:36,486 --> 00:16:38,587
Yeah, 'cause I'm the closer,
good call. Here you go.
441
00:16:38,588 --> 00:16:40,155
- Whatever.
- Yeah, I close.
442
00:16:40,156 --> 00:16:42,224
All right. Let me just
make a little groove here.
443
00:16:42,225 --> 00:16:43,893
Get up in there.
444
00:16:46,429 --> 00:16:48,831
- Long and lean, baby.
- Long and strong.
445
00:16:48,832 --> 00:16:51,100
♪ ♪
446
00:16:51,101 --> 00:16:53,302
Okay, here, you're about
halfway. My turn.
447
00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:55,071
No, I'm kind of in a
groove. Just back off.
448
00:16:55,072 --> 00:16:56,672
Stop! Dude, I'm not...
449
00:16:56,673 --> 00:16:59,642
- Let me saw!
- Oh.
450
00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:03,379
Wasps, wasps!
451
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:06,482
Shh, be quiet! Ow!
452
00:17:06,482 --> 00:17:08,350
♪ ♪
453
00:17:08,351 --> 00:17:10,520
They can hear us! Quiet!
454
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:11,921
Shut up!
455
00:17:11,922 --> 00:17:13,356
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
456
00:17:15,024 --> 00:17:16,925
They're biting me!
457
00:17:16,925 --> 00:17:18,927
Ow! Save me!
458
00:17:18,928 --> 00:17:21,430
Ow! Ow!
459
00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:23,066
Cover the hole! Cover the hole.
460
00:17:23,066 --> 00:17:25,767
Oh, you are so slow at sawing.
461
00:17:25,769 --> 00:17:30,158
Oh, you look bad. You look
bad, like pepperoni...
462
00:17:31,724 --> 00:17:33,108
- Hey.
- What up?
463
00:17:33,109 --> 00:17:35,043
We just stopped by to check things out,
464
00:17:35,044 --> 00:17:36,445
make sure it's going well.
465
00:17:36,445 --> 00:17:37,745
We're gonna get out of your hair.
466
00:17:37,746 --> 00:17:39,382
Yeah.
467
00:17:39,383 --> 00:17:40,883
Do you mind if we head out
the front door, though?
468
00:17:40,884 --> 00:17:42,351
Because bee problem down there.
469
00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:45,855
Yeah, the wasps itch, so take care.
470
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:47,290
Thanks for your time. Excuse me.
471
00:17:47,290 --> 00:17:48,924
Grab 'em.
472
00:17:48,925 --> 00:17:50,192
- You don't have to.
- Ow!
473
00:17:50,193 --> 00:17:51,227
Okay.
474
00:17:51,227 --> 00:17:52,745
Ow, ow.
475
00:17:54,648 --> 00:17:59,201
Hey, ass wipes, let my friends go.
476
00:17:59,202 --> 00:18:01,032
Good.
477
00:18:01,032 --> 00:18:02,966
You're just in time for the ass kicking.
478
00:18:02,968 --> 00:18:04,335
Oh, yeah?
479
00:18:04,336 --> 00:18:06,672
Letting your dogs do your dirty work?
480
00:18:06,672 --> 00:18:08,139
Gone soft, Frank.
481
00:18:08,140 --> 00:18:09,774
Excuse me?
482
00:18:09,774 --> 00:18:12,276
You, me, mano e mano, one on one.
483
00:18:12,277 --> 00:18:14,011
High-stakes pokey.
484
00:18:14,012 --> 00:18:17,114
I win, you guys get the
hell out of our house.
485
00:18:17,114 --> 00:18:18,482
You win...
486
00:18:18,483 --> 00:18:20,668
Which he definitely will, Blake.
487
00:18:22,804 --> 00:18:25,423
There's the deed to the old crib, huh?
488
00:18:25,424 --> 00:18:28,359
Blake, no offense, but you
don't know how to gamble.
489
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:30,162
Shut the hell up! Okay?
490
00:18:30,162 --> 00:18:31,629
We did your plan.
491
00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:33,598
Your guys' plan didn't work, all right?
492
00:18:33,599 --> 00:18:35,366
So now it's my turn to make the plans.
493
00:18:35,366 --> 00:18:38,703
I'm the plan maker now, alpha dog style.
494
00:18:38,704 --> 00:18:40,337
I don't give a [bleep].
495
00:18:40,338 --> 00:18:42,940
Start at the penis!
496
00:18:42,941 --> 00:18:44,661
Start at my penis.
497
00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:54,875
I'll tell you what.
498
00:18:54,876 --> 00:18:56,677
You fold right now,
499
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,445
and I'll give you another
shot at that shrimp buffet
500
00:18:58,445 --> 00:19:00,281
before you hit the road
and don't come back.
501
00:19:00,282 --> 00:19:01,816
I'll tell you what.
502
00:19:01,817 --> 00:19:03,451
You fold right now,
503
00:19:03,451 --> 00:19:05,820
and I'll give you another
crack at the shrimp buffet
504
00:19:05,821 --> 00:19:09,289
before you go home, you.
505
00:19:09,290 --> 00:19:10,791
That's exactly what I said.
506
00:19:10,792 --> 00:19:13,727
Gentlemen, your card.
507
00:19:13,728 --> 00:19:16,697
Full boat, sixes over aces.
508
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:19,000
- Oh, damn it, Blake.
- Ah, Blake!
509
00:19:19,001 --> 00:19:22,136
They have fricking shrimps, dude.
510
00:19:22,137 --> 00:19:24,540
7 and 8 diamond.
511
00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:26,407
That straight flush, the high hand.
512
00:19:26,408 --> 00:19:29,209
- Oh, my God, we won!
- I won? We won?
513
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:31,145
- All right!
- We won!
514
00:19:32,748 --> 00:19:34,916
Oh, my God.
515
00:19:34,917 --> 00:19:36,150
You got bluffed.
516
00:19:37,618 --> 00:19:40,721
Ah, but, yeah, dude, you
got to go, I guess.
517
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,222
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
518
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:44,592
Let me be very clear.
519
00:19:44,593 --> 00:19:46,627
If I find out you guys start
running another table
520
00:19:46,628 --> 00:19:48,762
over at this house, I
will come back here
521
00:19:48,763 --> 00:19:50,297
and break your goddamn necks.
522
00:19:50,298 --> 00:19:52,065
You can bet on it.
523
00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:55,136
Bet... oh, that was pretty
funny bringing bet back.
524
00:19:55,137 --> 00:19:57,104
And I'm absolutely [bleep] serious.
525
00:19:57,105 --> 00:19:58,839
- Yeah, duly noted.
- Truly noted, even.
526
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,808
- Let's go.
- Thanks, Frank.
527
00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:03,011
Good job, Goonie.
528
00:20:03,011 --> 00:20:04,078
Hey, good dealing out there.
529
00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:05,579
Just put these chairs in here.
530
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,080
Love the hair, man.
531
00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:08,415
Friends don't let friends get haircuts.
532
00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:11,285
- Karate kick.
- Yeah, bud!
533
00:20:11,286 --> 00:20:13,420
What the frick, man?
534
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:15,856
You did it. Oh, wait a second.
535
00:20:15,857 --> 00:20:17,691
Dude, did you have, like,
a card up your sleeve
536
00:20:17,692 --> 00:20:19,693
'cause you've been studying
magic for your shows,
537
00:20:19,694 --> 00:20:21,094
picked up some tricks?
538
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:23,164
- That's smart.
- Way alpha.
539
00:20:23,164 --> 00:20:24,331
No, actually, I didn't.
540
00:20:24,332 --> 00:20:26,133
I just kind of bet it all.
541
00:20:26,134 --> 00:20:30,672
Yeah, put my nuts on the table,
and then I did the damn thing.
542
00:20:30,672 --> 00:20:33,540
So you could've lost everything.
543
00:20:33,541 --> 00:20:34,908
Yeah.
544
00:20:34,909 --> 00:20:37,778
But who's the alpha dog now?
545
00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:40,247
I guess we still are,
because you only did, like,
546
00:20:40,248 --> 00:20:41,715
one alpha dog thing.
547
00:20:41,716 --> 00:20:44,719
And we do alpha shit,
like, every day, boy!
548
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:45,920
Alpha dogs, sound off!
549
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,521
Hoo-rah!
550
00:20:50,358 --> 00:20:51,859
Hoo, hoo, hoo!
551
00:20:51,860 --> 00:20:56,764
Hoo-rah! Hoo-rah,
hoo-rah! Hoo-rah!
552
00:20:56,765 --> 00:20:59,786
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