﻿1
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<i>Previously on</i> The Last Man on Earth...

2
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Maybe you should both go
by your middle names.

3
00:00:04,003 --> 00:00:05,897
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Phil, what's your middle name?

4
00:00:05,898 --> 00:00:08,500
- Tandy.
- Phil, what's your middle name?

5
00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:10,602
- I don't have a middle name.
- Can you believe that guy?!

6
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<i>He beats me up, he
tries to steal my wife</i>

7
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<i>while he's got a bun in Erica's oven.</i>

8
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Hey, Tandy. You want to go get a drink?

9
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I'd love to!

10
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I wish I was a lot more like you.

11
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Todd, will you marry me?

12
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(Phil 2 groans) Phil!

13
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Phil? Oh, my God.

14
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GAIL: <i>No, no, no,</i>

15
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<i>something's wrong!</i>

16
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(long, steady beep)

17
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TODD: ♪ I get knocked down ♪

18
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♪ But I get up again ♪

19
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♪ Ain't never gonna keep me down ♪

20
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♪ I get knocked down ♪

21
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(softly): ♪ But I get up again ♪

22
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♪ Never gonna... ♪

23
00:00:40,232 --> 00:00:41,766
(crying): ♪ Keep me down. ♪

24
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TANDY: Thank you, Todd, Gail,

25
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for that beautiful rendition

26
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:48,973
of what I can only imagine

27
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is one of Phil's favorite songs.

28
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,345
Phil Miller got knocked down,

29
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and this time, he did not get up again.

30
00:00:57,616 --> 00:00:59,417
We raise a whiskey drink,

31
00:00:59,452 --> 00:01:01,252
we raise a vodka drink.

32
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What a hero.

33
00:01:02,922 --> 00:01:05,290
That is why today, we send him off

34
00:01:05,324 --> 00:01:08,526
the only way that truly makes sense...

35
00:01:08,561 --> 00:01:10,595
a Viking funeral.

36
00:01:10,630 --> 00:01:12,497
ERICA: Tandy, I told you,

37
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,666
Phil wouldn't have wanted this.

38
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No, this is not what he would've wanted,

39
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but this is what he deserves.

40
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I'm sorry that I couldn't save you.

41
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(sighs)

42
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You did your best, Gail.

43
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Good-bye, Phil.

44
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We'll miss you.

45
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(crying) I know.

46
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(accordion plays random notes)

47
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I know.

48
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:51,303
Buck up, bub.

49
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You can do it.

50
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And now, I would like to say

51
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my own personal good-bye to Phil.

52
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(chuckles)

53
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(laughs)

54
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(sighs)

55
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And now we send him to the sea.

56
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♪ He belongs to the sea ♪

57
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♪ He belongs to the ocean ♪

58
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♪ Phil belongs... ♪

59
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Tandy, you need a hand, bud?

60
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No, I would like to do this, Todd.

61
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I got this.

62
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♪ He belongs to the sea ♪

63
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♪ He belongs to the ocean ♪

64
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(groaning)

65
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♪ Ocean ♪

66
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♪ Whenever we rely on ourselves ♪

67
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♪ For worse or for better... ♪

68
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Peace, bud.

69
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Hero.

70
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Honor.

71
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Burn, casket, burn!

72
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(groans)

73
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I honor you!

74
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Peace!

75
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Honor!

76
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Damn it!

77
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Hero.

78
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Honor and...

79
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Damn it!

80
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(stammering)

81
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And, according to ancient law,

82
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the requirements of the
Viking funeral have been met.

83
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Uh, Valhalla!

84
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Uh, honor, hero!

85
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Amen.

86
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(squeals)

87
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Sync and corrections by peterbrito
www.addic7ed.com

88
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I still can't believe
I beefed the finale.

89
00:03:29,201 --> 00:03:31,603
I mean, Phil deserved a bull's-eye.

90
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Hey, your speech was a bull's-eye.

91
00:03:36,509 --> 00:03:38,176
Well, Carol,

92
00:03:38,211 --> 00:03:39,511
the heart's aim is always true

93
00:03:39,545 --> 00:03:41,680
when it's dancing like
no one's watching.

94
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I mean,

95
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Phil was like a brother to me.

96
00:03:44,383 --> 00:03:45,383
I don't know about that.

97
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He was.

98
00:03:46,519 --> 00:03:47,652
I mean, sure,

99
00:03:47,687 --> 00:03:48,720
we had some ups and downs,

100
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but we ended it on a real high.

101
00:03:50,089 --> 00:03:51,156
You wouldn't understand,

102
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'cause you never had a brother.

103
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Okay, you didn't get a
chance to say good-bye

104
00:03:54,694 --> 00:03:56,294
to your own brother,

105
00:03:56,329 --> 00:03:58,163
so now you're projecting this onto Phil.

106
00:03:58,197 --> 00:04:01,366
Okay, this has nothing to
do with my brother, okay?

107
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,102
I mean, except for the fact
that Phil was like my brother,

108
00:04:04,136 --> 00:04:06,371
and I never got a chance
to say good-bye to him.

109
00:04:06,405 --> 00:04:08,106
It's just too bad, because I think

110
00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:10,141
if his body had successfully
gone up in flames,

111
00:04:10,176 --> 00:04:12,244
it would've lifted everyone's spirits.

112
00:04:12,278 --> 00:04:14,479
Well, you know what would've
raised everyone's spirits?

113
00:04:14,513 --> 00:04:16,882
Todd saying yes to Melissa's proposal.

114
00:04:16,916 --> 00:04:18,550
(chuckles) Well, you know Toddler.

115
00:04:18,584 --> 00:04:20,285
You know, dude's a lifelong bachelor.

116
00:04:20,319 --> 00:04:21,152
(chuckles)

117
00:04:23,723 --> 00:04:25,757
I'm gonna go talk some
sense into that moron.

118
00:04:25,791 --> 00:04:27,859
Okay, but wait, Carol, Carol.

119
00:04:27,894 --> 00:04:29,394
There's something I have to tell you.

120
00:04:29,428 --> 00:04:30,829
This is gonna be hard to hear.

121
00:04:30,863 --> 00:04:32,697
Then I'll move in closer.

122
00:04:35,468 --> 00:04:36,801
Todd and Gail are boning.

123
00:04:36,836 --> 00:04:39,237
(whispering): Cheese and rice!

124
00:04:39,272 --> 00:04:40,605
Todd didn't do anything wrong.

125
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:42,407
He and Melissa had already broken up.

126
00:04:42,441 --> 00:04:43,975
I have to tell Melissa.

127
00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:45,810
Carol, you can't. Todd
swore me to secrecy.

128
00:04:45,845 --> 00:04:47,379
Well, Melissa's my best friend,

129
00:04:47,413 --> 00:04:48,713
and she is getting boned against.

130
00:04:48,748 --> 00:04:50,482
And I'm your husband.

131
00:04:50,516 --> 00:04:52,584
Okay? So promise me you
won't say anything.

132
00:04:53,753 --> 00:04:55,186
Okay, I promise.

133
00:04:56,455 --> 00:04:58,690
Let me see those hands.

134
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Good catch.

135
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Hey, hon bun.

136
00:05:09,235 --> 00:05:10,368
Hey, bub.

137
00:05:10,403 --> 00:05:11,770
Aw, come on, Gail.

138
00:05:11,804 --> 00:05:13,738
I'm sorry about all that...

139
00:05:13,773 --> 00:05:15,373
buck up stuff at the funeral.

140
00:05:15,512 --> 00:05:16,813
I...

141
00:05:16,847 --> 00:05:18,081
I was just a little freaked out

142
00:05:18,115 --> 00:05:19,716
'cause I think Melissa noticed us.

143
00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:21,317
Well, so what?

144
00:05:21,351 --> 00:05:23,352
Isn't it about time
she found out anyway?

145
00:05:23,387 --> 00:05:25,021
Well, today's probably not
the best day, you know?

146
00:05:25,055 --> 00:05:26,522
And what is the best day

147
00:05:26,557 --> 00:05:28,624
to find out that your ex-boyfriend's

148
00:05:28,659 --> 00:05:30,993
doing the devil's work with
the lady down the hall?

149
00:05:31,028 --> 00:05:32,495
Well, have you told Gordon

150
00:05:32,529 --> 00:05:34,097
about us yet?

151
00:05:38,402 --> 00:05:40,436
(chuckles)

152
00:05:40,471 --> 00:05:42,572
Oh, Todd, I know you're probably right.

153
00:05:42,606 --> 00:05:45,308
Everybody's dealing with as much
as they can deal with right now.

154
00:05:45,342 --> 00:05:46,976
Just take all the time you need.

155
00:05:47,011 --> 00:05:48,544
Thank you, Gail.

156
00:05:48,579 --> 00:05:51,047
Well, I should probably head out.

157
00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:54,751
Well, thanks again, Gail.

158
00:05:54,785 --> 00:05:57,387
I will start wearing more hats.

159
00:05:57,421 --> 00:05:59,422
See you later, bub.

160
00:05:59,456 --> 00:06:01,224
(whispering): Good cover.

161
00:06:14,171 --> 00:06:15,605
Carol!

162
00:06:15,639 --> 00:06:17,307
Oh, hi!

163
00:06:17,341 --> 00:06:20,009
Sorry, I didn't see you there!

164
00:06:20,044 --> 00:06:21,144
I'm breaking all your ornaments!

165
00:06:21,178 --> 00:06:22,111
Oh.

166
00:06:22,146 --> 00:06:23,446
(chuckles)

167
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:24,814
'Kay.

168
00:06:24,848 --> 00:06:26,316
Yeah, I promise I'll get you some more.

169
00:06:26,350 --> 00:06:27,984
I just needed to break
all these real quick.

170
00:06:28,018 --> 00:06:29,652
Yeah, I'd love to talk, hon,

171
00:06:29,687 --> 00:06:30,920
but I'm just, I can't.

172
00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:32,355
You know the drill.

173
00:06:32,389 --> 00:06:33,423
What would I want to talk about?

174
00:06:33,457 --> 00:06:34,424
You know,

175
00:06:34,458 --> 00:06:35,958
Phil dying.

176
00:06:35,993 --> 00:06:38,027
The other thing.

177
00:06:38,062 --> 00:06:40,730
Todd's rejection of my proposal?

178
00:06:40,764 --> 00:06:41,864
Goldang it, Melissa!

179
00:06:41,899 --> 00:06:43,166
I said I can't talk right now,

180
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:44,667
and I'd love for you to honor that!

181
00:06:44,702 --> 00:06:47,036
(chuckles) It's all good, Carol.

182
00:06:47,071 --> 00:06:48,471
Okay, talk soon.

183
00:06:48,505 --> 00:06:49,806
Yeah, hell, yeah.

184
00:06:52,242 --> 00:06:54,210
TANDY: <i>Phil and I had a bumpy ride,</i>

185
00:06:54,244 --> 00:06:57,447
uh, but I wouldn't change
a cottonpickin' thing

186
00:06:57,481 --> 00:06:59,716
'cause it led us to our destination:

187
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:00,783
brotherhood.

188
00:07:00,818 --> 00:07:02,185
You know, for any of you

189
00:07:02,219 --> 00:07:03,886
who might be struggling with closure,

190
00:07:03,921 --> 00:07:05,588
unresolved feelings,

191
00:07:05,622 --> 00:07:06,923
and shoulda, woulda, coulda's,

192
00:07:06,957 --> 00:07:09,425
uh, I wrote a song that, uh,

193
00:07:09,460 --> 00:07:11,094
tells you how great I feel.

194
00:07:11,128 --> 00:07:12,895
Oh, you guys are gonna love it.

195
00:07:12,930 --> 00:07:14,163
He's been practicing.

196
00:07:14,198 --> 00:07:15,798
This is called "The Story of Us."

197
00:07:18,502 --> 00:07:19,502
(tuning)

198
00:07:34,618 --> 00:07:38,588
♪ Have you ever had a
shoulda, coulda, woulda ♪

199
00:07:38,622 --> 00:07:41,057
♪ Sittin' right on your face ♪

200
00:07:41,091 --> 00:07:44,093
♪ And you think about the did that ♪

201
00:07:44,128 --> 00:07:45,862
♪ Done that, finished that ♪

202
00:07:45,896 --> 00:07:48,498
♪ That coulda been in its place ♪

203
00:07:48,532 --> 00:07:50,833
♪ Well, the second one's
what happened to me ♪

204
00:07:52,136 --> 00:07:55,638
♪ I finished all my business ♪

205
00:07:55,673 --> 00:07:58,808
♪ Gotta say good-bye to your friends ♪

206
00:07:58,842 --> 00:08:03,112
♪ 'Cause you never know when
their life's gonna end ♪

207
00:08:03,147 --> 00:08:04,747
♪ I'm over you ♪

208
00:08:04,782 --> 00:08:06,783
♪ I miss you, but I'm over you... ♪

209
00:08:06,817 --> 00:08:08,251
(sobbing)

210
00:08:08,285 --> 00:08:09,519
(snorts)

211
00:08:10,821 --> 00:08:12,355
(whispering): Get it together.

212
00:08:13,857 --> 00:08:15,058
♪ Closure, closure ♪

213
00:08:15,092 --> 00:08:16,059
♪ Closure, closure, closure ♪

214
00:08:16,093 --> 00:08:18,561
♪ Closure in my bones ♪

215
00:08:18,596 --> 00:08:19,963
♪ And my skin ♪

216
00:08:19,997 --> 00:08:20,964
♪ Closure, closure... ♪

217
00:08:20,998 --> 00:08:22,732
(crying)

218
00:08:22,766 --> 00:08:25,001
♪ Closure, closure, closure ♪

219
00:08:25,035 --> 00:08:27,937
♪ Put them hands together ♪

220
00:08:27,972 --> 00:08:29,772
♪ For closure. ♪

221
00:08:29,807 --> 00:08:31,107
(crying)

222
00:08:31,141 --> 00:08:32,742
Thank you. I have to leave.

223
00:08:32,776 --> 00:08:34,344
CAROL: We-We're working on an ending,

224
00:08:34,378 --> 00:08:37,046
but I'm just so happy
he's found closure.

225
00:08:38,682 --> 00:08:40,283
(clears throat)

226
00:08:40,317 --> 00:08:41,551
(sighs)

227
00:08:42,788 --> 00:08:46,984
♪ Closure, closure,
closure, closure, closure ♪

228
00:08:48,674 --> 00:08:50,169
♪ Closure, closure ♪

229
00:08:50,203 --> 00:08:51,770
♪ Closure, mm... ♪

230
00:08:53,139 --> 00:08:53,939
Hey, Melissa.

231
00:08:55,375 --> 00:08:57,427
Chewing on your boots there?

232
00:08:57,428 --> 00:08:59,295
Yeah, I'm just un-bedazzling
Carol's boots with my teeth.

233
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,563
These are the boots I was wearing

234
00:09:00,598 --> 00:09:01,931
when I proposed to you.

235
00:09:01,966 --> 00:09:03,533
I'm doing great.

236
00:09:04,886 --> 00:09:06,088
- You okay?
- Yeah.

237
00:09:06,089 --> 00:09:08,130
What part of "I'm doing
great" do you not understand?

238
00:09:08,164 --> 00:09:09,598
Uh, you-you-you got some, uh, glitter

239
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:10,799
on, in your face there.

240
00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:11,734
What?!

241
00:09:11,768 --> 00:09:13,936
God, that's good news.

242
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,905
Okay, well, I'm gonna,
I'll leave you to it.

243
00:09:16,940 --> 00:09:18,006
(chuckles)

244
00:09:18,041 --> 00:09:19,842
- Todd?
- Yeah?

245
00:09:19,876 --> 00:09:23,012
Would you maybe want to
watch TV with me later?

246
00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:25,848
Just as friends.

247
00:09:25,882 --> 00:09:27,082
Uh...

248
00:09:27,117 --> 00:09:28,250
I'm great,

249
00:09:28,284 --> 00:09:29,818
so it doesn't matter either way.

250
00:09:29,853 --> 00:09:31,620
Regardless of what you
decide, it's fine,

251
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,188
'cause even if you have
plans, I'm doing great.

252
00:09:33,223 --> 00:09:34,156
(chuckles)

253
00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:35,691
Ah, I got no plans.

254
00:09:35,725 --> 00:09:38,027
I mean, come on, what
plans would I have?

255
00:09:38,061 --> 00:09:39,361
(laughter)

256
00:09:39,396 --> 00:09:40,729
All right, so it's a date, well, date...

257
00:09:40,764 --> 00:09:42,831
Not a date, an appointment.

258
00:09:42,866 --> 00:09:43,866
Great!

259
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:45,868
You want this open or closed?

260
00:09:45,902 --> 00:09:46,869
Open.

261
00:09:46,903 --> 00:09:49,004
Okay.

262
00:09:49,039 --> 00:09:52,741
TANDY: <i>Ah, Phil, your room
seems so empty without you.</i>

263
00:09:52,776 --> 00:09:53,776
(sighs)

264
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:56,412
I miss you so much, my brother.

265
00:09:56,446 --> 00:09:59,415
I just wish there was some way
that I could feel closer to you.

266
00:10:08,992 --> 00:10:10,859
I remember when I first met you.

267
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,830
(in deep voice): "Does
this guy belong to you?"

268
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,331
"Gas goes bad.

269
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,667
Doesn't anybody remember
me telling you that?"

270
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:21,103
"No, I just don't want
you to be president."

271
00:10:21,137 --> 00:10:23,906
"He poops in the ocean
in front of our house

272
00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:25,674
every damn day."

273
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,109
"Tandy, go away."

274
00:10:28,178 --> 00:10:29,311
"It's appendicitis."

275
00:10:29,346 --> 00:10:30,713
(crying)

276
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:40,289
"Tandy. Tandy.

277
00:10:40,323 --> 00:10:41,924
You want to go get a drink?"

278
00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:45,994
I'd like that, Phil.

279
00:10:46,029 --> 00:10:47,296
(chuckles)

280
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,907
(inhales)

281
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:01,744
(exhales, sobs)

282
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:06,348
Nice hair, George Jefferson.

283
00:11:06,383 --> 00:11:08,117
Oh, if you were here right now,

284
00:11:08,151 --> 00:11:10,853
I'd be busting your Cs so hard,

285
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:13,122
"Philip Stacy Miller."

286
00:11:13,156 --> 00:11:16,358
Wait a minute...

287
00:11:16,393 --> 00:11:18,894
Stacy?

288
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,163
(playing minor chords)

289
00:11:24,234 --> 00:11:26,235
Hey, there, hon bun.

290
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,836
Hey, shoog.

291
00:11:27,871 --> 00:11:29,738
Would you mind closing
that door behind you

292
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:31,607
'cause things are about
to get real physical.

293
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,779
How you doing?

294
00:11:36,813 --> 00:11:38,781
Well, I'm feeling pretty
guilty about Phil's death

295
00:11:38,815 --> 00:11:40,616
and for some reason I can't explain,

296
00:11:40,650 --> 00:11:42,651
that is just making me feel really horny

297
00:11:42,686 --> 00:11:44,486
and then I feel like, "Uh, I'm so wrong,

298
00:11:44,521 --> 00:11:46,455
I'm so bad," and that just amps up

299
00:11:46,489 --> 00:11:48,190
my horniness and I just feel like

300
00:11:48,224 --> 00:11:51,260
the dog is just chasing
its tail on this one,

301
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,329
it's just a vicious,
vicious cycle, so...

302
00:11:53,363 --> 00:11:54,964
get those pants off.

303
00:11:54,998 --> 00:11:57,066
Oh. Oh, man, yeah, that sounds great.

304
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,534
Man, yeah.

305
00:11:58,568 --> 00:12:00,202
I don't hear any buttons popping, Todd.

306
00:12:00,236 --> 00:12:01,337
Well, you know, here's the thing,

307
00:12:01,371 --> 00:12:03,005
it's just, I kind of...

308
00:12:03,039 --> 00:12:04,974
I kind of made plans with Melissa.

309
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:24,968
I see.

310
00:12:24,969 --> 00:12:27,429
Yeah, so I'm just gonna pop over there,
you know, real quick, show my face,

311
00:12:27,464 --> 00:12:28,831
and then I'm gonna zip back here,

312
00:12:28,865 --> 00:12:30,763
get those pants off. If that's okay.

313
00:12:30,764 --> 00:12:32,267
Okay, Todd.

314
00:12:32,302 --> 00:12:33,802
You just do you thing.

315
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:36,505
You know, I'm gonna be right back.
Okay? So...

316
00:12:36,539 --> 00:12:38,240
(loudly): And, uh, thank you

317
00:12:38,275 --> 00:12:40,843
for telling me how stucco is made.

318
00:12:40,877 --> 00:12:42,845
I'll see you later, bub.

319
00:12:42,879 --> 00:12:44,880
(door closes)

320
00:12:44,914 --> 00:12:46,982
"Bub."

321
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:49,084
TANDY: <i>Friggin' turkey actually
did have a middle name.</i>

322
00:12:49,119 --> 00:12:50,719
"Stacy."

323
00:12:50,754 --> 00:12:52,254
I mean, it's flat-out a girl's name.

324
00:12:52,289 --> 00:12:53,355
No offense, Stacy.

325
00:12:53,390 --> 00:12:55,991
Oh, I miss you, bud.

326
00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:58,394
Miss you with all my heart.

327
00:12:58,428 --> 00:13:01,096
(sobbing)

328
00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:05,100
I know a man's not supposed to cry,

329
00:13:05,135 --> 00:13:07,836
but most men don't get
a chance to experience

330
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,005
the kind of friendship
that Phil and I had.

331
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,473
Now it's over.

332
00:13:11,508 --> 00:13:14,043
He just left without a trace.

333
00:13:16,179 --> 00:13:17,613
Or did he?

334
00:13:22,566 --> 00:13:24,101
G'day.

335
00:13:24,549 --> 00:13:26,322
Look, Erica,

336
00:13:26,356 --> 00:13:28,023
I know you're scared

337
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:30,526
and hurting and full
of worries right now.

338
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,494
But I'm here to take one of
those worries off your plate

339
00:13:32,529 --> 00:13:34,930
and eat it raw.

340
00:13:34,965 --> 00:13:38,133
I will be the father to your baby.

341
00:13:38,168 --> 00:13:40,436
That's a... a nice offer...

342
00:13:40,470 --> 00:13:42,471
Come on, it's what Phil
and I would have wanted,

343
00:13:42,505 --> 00:13:44,540
so please accept our gift,

344
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,275
this cradle, that Phil built

345
00:13:46,309 --> 00:13:48,177
and that I fixed.

346
00:13:48,211 --> 00:13:50,112
(chuckles)

347
00:13:50,146 --> 00:13:52,047
Knew I should've gone with masking tape.

348
00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:54,083
Huh.

349
00:13:54,117 --> 00:13:55,417
Hey.

350
00:13:56,953 --> 00:13:58,887
Come here.

351
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:01,423
- Um...
- (Tandy laughs)

352
00:14:01,458 --> 00:14:03,192
I can't believe we're doing this.

353
00:14:03,226 --> 00:14:05,861
(Tandy laughing)

354
00:14:05,895 --> 00:14:08,163
Yeah... about that...

355
00:14:08,198 --> 00:14:11,033
the second-to-last thing

356
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:12,468
that Phil said to me

357
00:14:12,502 --> 00:14:15,104
before he died

358
00:14:15,138 --> 00:14:18,207
was, "Don't let Tandy raise our baby."

359
00:14:18,241 --> 00:14:20,042
(scoffs)

360
00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:22,244
Well, you know, hard to tell sarcasm

361
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:25,581
when people are in extreme
pain like that, so, uh...

362
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,016
(sighs) What was the, uh,

363
00:14:27,050 --> 00:14:29,051
the last thing he said?

364
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:32,554
Well, the very last thing he said

365
00:14:32,589 --> 00:14:35,424
was, "Did you hear me?

366
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,159
I mean it."

367
00:14:39,529 --> 00:14:41,063
Okay, then.

368
00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:42,231
Mm. (chuckles)

369
00:14:42,265 --> 00:14:44,466
As per Phil's wishes, I will, uh,

370
00:14:44,501 --> 00:14:46,435
steer clear, you know?

371
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,203
(sniffs)

372
00:14:48,238 --> 00:14:49,238
Totally fine with this.

373
00:14:49,272 --> 00:14:51,407
I'm okay.

374
00:14:51,441 --> 00:14:53,709
All right.

375
00:14:53,743 --> 00:14:55,811
G'day.

376
00:15:08,897 --> 00:15:11,020
Friggin' two-faced turd.

377
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,400
One minute, you're like, all,

378
00:15:13,435 --> 00:15:15,002
"Hey, uh, let's go get a drink."

379
00:15:15,036 --> 00:15:16,804
Then the next minute,
you go behind my back

380
00:15:16,838 --> 00:15:18,272
and you go tell Erica,

381
00:15:18,306 --> 00:15:20,407
"Oh, I don't want Tandy
to raise the baby."

382
00:15:20,442 --> 00:15:22,543
You know what? You're no Viking!

383
00:15:22,577 --> 00:15:23,744
You're a sucking!

384
00:15:23,778 --> 00:15:26,513
Friggin' Stacy.

385
00:15:26,548 --> 00:15:28,616
God, I'm so glad that you're
out there floating unburned.

386
00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:30,985
That's my burn on you, huh?

387
00:15:31,019 --> 00:15:32,887
And I'm just getting started.

388
00:15:35,023 --> 00:15:37,925
And Jimmy Sharp is your 2019

389
00:15:37,959 --> 00:15:39,827
international motocross champion!

390
00:15:39,861 --> 00:15:41,595
Thanks for hanging out with me.

391
00:15:41,630 --> 00:15:43,764
(sighs)

392
00:15:43,798 --> 00:15:45,599
Yeah. Of course.

393
00:15:45,634 --> 00:15:47,835
Yeah.

394
00:15:47,869 --> 00:15:51,472
Still can't believe Phil's gone.

395
00:15:51,506 --> 00:15:52,806
Yep, yep.

396
00:15:52,841 --> 00:15:54,408
Gone with the wind.

397
00:15:56,711 --> 00:15:57,745
(exhales shakily)

398
00:15:57,779 --> 00:15:59,647
I'm just so sick of losing people.

399
00:15:59,681 --> 00:16:01,949
Yeah.

400
00:16:01,983 --> 00:16:03,784
(stammering): Yeah, we... go

401
00:16:03,818 --> 00:16:06,420
look for him on some... in days.

402
00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:10,658
It's just so hard to let go.

403
00:16:13,495 --> 00:16:14,595
Yeah.

404
00:16:19,701 --> 00:16:23,270
Uh...

405
00:16:28,043 --> 00:16:32,112
Uh...

406
00:16:35,050 --> 00:16:37,051
(sighs)

407
00:16:37,085 --> 00:16:38,852
Look, I hate to do this, Erica,

408
00:16:38,887 --> 00:16:40,788
but in the spirit of closure,

409
00:16:40,822 --> 00:16:43,123
I thought I should make
you aware of something.

410
00:16:43,158 --> 00:16:44,825
Apparently, that guy

411
00:16:44,860 --> 00:16:46,727
who told you not to let
me near your baby,

412
00:16:46,761 --> 00:16:47,928
well, he

413
00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:50,531
was a massive pornhead.

414
00:16:50,565 --> 00:16:51,832
I mean, look at this!

415
00:16:51,867 --> 00:16:53,868
He just craved it to a sick degree.

416
00:16:53,902 --> 00:16:56,136
- Okay. Tandy...
- And not only that,

417
00:16:56,171 --> 00:17:00,074
the guy was out of his mind on drugs.

418
00:17:00,108 --> 00:17:01,875
Uppers, downers, sidewinders.

419
00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:03,777
And don't even bother looking at his...

420
00:17:03,812 --> 00:17:05,713
his slam poetry notebook.

421
00:17:06,681 --> 00:17:07,982
"White man always finds

422
00:17:08,016 --> 00:17:09,950
"black man guilty.

423
00:17:09,985 --> 00:17:12,586
"Rage! Hatin' on puppies,

424
00:17:12,621 --> 00:17:14,355
- so hard..."
- Tandy,

425
00:17:14,389 --> 00:17:16,490
I was in this room three hours ago.

426
00:17:16,525 --> 00:17:18,459
So you saw all the skid
marks in his underwear.

427
00:17:18,493 --> 00:17:19,760
I mean, every pair.

428
00:17:19,795 --> 00:17:21,262
Such a dirty bottom.

429
00:17:21,296 --> 00:17:23,664
I'm sorry Phil didn't want
you to help with the baby.

430
00:17:29,104 --> 00:17:30,704
Carol...

431
00:17:30,739 --> 00:17:31,906
Carol!

432
00:17:31,940 --> 00:17:34,475
Oh! Hey.

433
00:17:34,509 --> 00:17:36,677
Todd and I kissed.

434
00:17:36,711 --> 00:17:38,679
Did you tell Gail?

435
00:17:38,713 --> 00:17:40,814
Why would I tell Gail?

436
00:17:40,849 --> 00:17:42,483
Oh. I just, um...

437
00:17:42,517 --> 00:17:44,552
thought you two were close,

438
00:17:44,586 --> 00:17:46,187
but now that I think of
it, you and I are closer,

439
00:17:46,221 --> 00:17:47,721
so yeah, this is normal.

440
00:17:47,756 --> 00:17:49,523
Well, I think we might
get back together.

441
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,595
I have diarrhea. Bye.

442
00:17:57,599 --> 00:18:00,367
♪ ♪

443
00:18:04,005 --> 00:18:05,739
Good-bye, Phil's crap!

444
00:18:05,774 --> 00:18:07,775
Good-bye, Phil's driver's license!

445
00:18:07,809 --> 00:18:09,543
Good-bye, Phil's watch!

446
00:18:09,578 --> 00:18:11,946
Good-bye to anything that's
ever belonged to you,

447
00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:14,048
even your clothes!

448
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:18,619
Friggin' pants didn't
fit me anyway, fatty!

449
00:18:18,653 --> 00:18:20,721
You're history, dude!

450
00:18:20,755 --> 00:18:22,590
It's like you never even existed!

451
00:18:22,624 --> 00:18:25,559
Now there's not even a
single trace of you left!

452
00:18:26,995 --> 00:18:30,564
Except for your stupid,
washed up coffin!

453
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,067
What?

454
00:18:36,137 --> 00:18:37,938
Oh, farts.

455
00:18:39,341 --> 00:18:41,285
Well, well, well.

456
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:43,388
Look who came crawling back.

457
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:45,089
And I'm glad you're here,

458
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,057
'cause I got something

459
00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:47,358
I want to get off my bare chest.

460
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,427
I wouldn't raise your baby

461
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:52,196
with a ten-foot pole.

462
00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:54,198
Not even if that pole was made of gold

463
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:55,566
and I got to keep it.

464
00:18:55,601 --> 00:18:57,602
And this all could've been avoided

465
00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:00,571
(crying): if you had just
let me raise your kid!

466
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,340
Man, I thought we were friends!

467
00:19:02,374 --> 00:19:03,641
ERICA: Tandy...

468
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:09,280
You okay?

469
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:10,982
Um, I'm fine.

470
00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:12,483
Are you okay?

471
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:14,552
No.

472
00:19:14,586 --> 00:19:16,421
I still just can't wrap
my head around it.

473
00:19:16,455 --> 00:19:17,655
- You know?
- Yeah.

474
00:19:17,689 --> 00:19:21,426
But at a certain point,

475
00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:23,227
you got to let it go.

476
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:25,096
We have this saying, in Australia.

477
00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:27,131
I know, I know.

478
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,600
(Australian accent): "That's
not a knife; this is a knife."

479
00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:31,602
Right?

480
00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:33,471
I've never understood that saying

481
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,473
until this very moment.

482
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:36,941
It's like...

483
00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:40,078
(accent): that's not a knife.

484
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,480
You know? That isn't a knife.

485
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:44,649
(normal voice): But this...

486
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:46,017
this...

487
00:19:47,419 --> 00:19:49,187
(accent): this is a knife.

488
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:51,055
Right?

489
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:54,891
Yeah, something... like that.

490
00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:57,695
♪ ♪

491
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,128
I know what you did, Todd.

492
00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:08,172
You broke my heart.

493
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,895
You<i> broke</i> my<i> heart.</i>

494
00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:17,029
Your lips taste like Chartres.

495
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:23,254
This is how we should've
done it all along.

496
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:25,089
Yeah.

497
00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:27,425
Thank God we got a second chance.

498
00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:30,528
Bye, brother.

499
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:32,540
Tandy...

500
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:36,601
You're right.

501
00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:38,269
Bye, friend.

502
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:40,138
Tandy.

503
00:20:43,108 --> 00:20:45,309
Good-bye, Phil.

504
00:20:48,938 --> 00:20:51,832
- Should we go up and join the others?
- Okay.

505
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,301
Bye, brother.

506
00:21:02,190 --> 00:21:05,891
Sync and corrections by peterbrito
www.addic7ed.com

